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Elizabeth, when we're together for the holidays, we end up going to Whole Foods Market every day.
There's so many things that we need.
Like we're going to a party and one of us needs to bring a gift for the host.
They have these expert curated cheeses and crackers that everybody loves.
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Plus, they have these show-stopping things for the table like bone-in spiral cut ham.
Well Gretchen, I love that they have heat and eat sides from the prepared foods department, because you know that I am not much of a cook.
So heat and serve is something I can do.
And they have floral Gretchen so you can bring a nice bouquet of flowers if you're going to someone's house.
Shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters.
Hello and welcome to More Happier, a podcast where we get happier.
At this point in the holidays, we always find it useful to go back to the basics.
So today we're visiting an episode from years ago where Elizabeth and I talked about three ideas that can make the most hectic days of the year go more smoothly.
We talk about why you might choose to set a holiday intention or a one word theme for the season, and how to handle the challenge of shared work during the holidays, a challenge that comes up for many families.
Plus, I recommend a tradition you may consider for yourself if you're looking to add a little fun and whimsy to your week, which can be a great way to relieve stress.
Here we go.
So, Elizabeth, this week our Try This at Home tip is to set your holiday intention.
And what does that mean, set your holiday intention?
Well, it's a little bit jargony, which I definitely try to avoid whenever possible.
I think the word intention now is getting thrown around a lot.
But it's sort of the way to make this point most succinctly, which is...
You know, most of us have at least a few days off around the holidays when we're, you know we're not at work.
And we're going to be a lot happier if we know what we intend to get from that holiday.
You know, what do we want those days to hold for us?
And what do other people expect?
What are their intentions?
So that you can think about, well, can you... achieve your holiday intention?
Are you going to have conflict with somebody else's holiday intention?
You know, what's realistic?
Yeah, you know, this makes sense for me because of the way production works.
There's often years where I have a full two weeks off at the holidays.
Now, some years, like this year, I'm working all the way through.
But a lot of times I have a big chunk of time and I always feel like oh, over the holidays I'm going to do, I'm going to clean my office.
I'm going to go through my closet.
I'm going to go to five movies.
I'm going to see all my friends.
We're going to do family activities.
It's like we think we're going to and we're going to go away for a few days.
And it's like, I think I'm going to do everything.
And then, of course, we can't.
And then I end up feeling like depressed, like I didn't do what I wanted to do.
Right.
I mean, that's the thing is is when you're, when you're not clear about sort of what your intention is, what you're hoping to get out of that time, then it's easy to get frustrated, because then something doesn't happen or and you know your your dream holiday doesn't occur, or you might feel thwarted by other people.
Like you're like, well, my intention is to do is to rest forever.
I'm exhausted.
I'm at the end of my rope.
I've been burning the candle at both ends, to throw in every cliched metaphor there.
And so what I really want to do is rest, relax, take a lot of naps, sleep late.
But somebody else wants to have a completely different kind of holiday.
And so then there's all this conflict, because you haven't really thought through well, what do I want?
What do you want?
How do we achieve what we want together?
Right.
So it seems like people need to just be clear in their own mind and then also communicate with those around them.
Yeah, yeah.
And there's a lot of different intentions that people could have.
So like one of them, which you mentioned, is like family or friend time.
Like I'm going to see all my friends.
I'm going to have fun family activities.
You know whether that's like making cookies.
You're going to go to religious services.
You're going to – I mean –
You and I, Alyssa, do not watch a game on TV, but others do.
I don't even know what game that would be.
You know hangout time and resting which I just said, I think for a lot of people they fantasize it as about a time to like just sleep in and relax.
I know for Adam, that's paramount.
Yeah.
Oh, then there's sort of your me time, you know, which is like, I just want to read a novel.
I want to just do what I feel like doing.
And then I guess some people want adventure, like going camping or going out and chopping down their own Christmas tree or taking a trip.
Yeah.
And then, of course, this is a big one, entertaining.
Like you feel like, oh, I'm going to have everybody over.
I'm going to cook chili.
I'm going to do all these things.
Yeah.
And then the other thing around the holidays a lot of people want to get done is service work like volunteering at a homeless shelter or whatever that may be.
Right.
But I think the reason why setting your holiday intention is a good try this at home is that you can say to yourself okay well, given how much time I have, what is is my intention realistic?
Like I can't do everything.
So what do I really want to get?
And also with the holidays, a lot of times you're coordinating with other people.
So it isn't even just like, okay, I'm going to plot my own course.
It's like okay, this is sort of what I would like, but then other people have their own set of intentions, which may or may not line up very well, you know.
Yeah, it seems like you can learn from the past.
So it's like if every other holiday season you have not managed to clean out your closet, you're probably not going to clean it out this year.
So it's like just don't even set that as your intention.
Right, right.
And then don't feel bad if it doesn't happen.
Don't feel like, oh, I wasted the time or I let myself down because you're like, it's holiday time.
I'm not going to clean my closet.
I'm going to wait for my sister Gretchen to come.
Yeah, then I will clean my closet.
No, and I know that, like when we go to Kansas, you go to Kansas City every other year because you guys switch off without him.
But we go to Kansas City every year.
And one thing I know is I don't like I love to read, but that is not a time when I get reading done.
I never like think like, oh, excellent.
I'm going to read this long, wonderful novel during the holidays in Kansas City because we're just too busy doing other things.
And so don't be frustrated by that.
It's just not that kind of time.
Yeah, and I know in Kansas City it's like if you're sitting on the couch reading, someone will be like oh, I'll sit down and talk to you.
Which is great.
Yeah, which is why we're there.
Yes, yes.
But yes, it's much more, that's what we're doing.
I know, because I do that to you all the time when I am in Kansas City.
Now the other thing Gretch, is the reality of life is that sometimes we're not going to be able to meet our intention.
Like if you have small kids, rest can be difficult.
Or if you're again with your family or your in-laws and there are certain expectations.
You know you may not be able to meet your own internal intention.
Right.
And this is where I love a phrase that you taught me years ago.
I don't even remember when, which is if you can't get out of it, get into it.
Meaning if everyone's going ice skating and there is no way you can get out of going ice skating.
Embrace ice skating, you know, get into it.
Like just don't be a curmudgeon because it only, it hurts you and everybody else.
Right.
Right.
Right.
And if you're not going to be able to sleep late because everybody else is up and running, just say like OK well, you know, I'm up.
So how can I get my coffee as fast as possible?
Now, one way where this comes up in my marriage with Jamie, I think, is is going to Kansas City.
So Jamie's Jewish.
And so they didn't have a lot of like holiday traditions, you know, wrapped around Christmas obviously.
And so his parents and he they often went on a nice trip.
During this time.
And when we got married, I don't think Jamie necessarily realized that for the rest of his life he was going to be spending his holiday trip in Kansas City, Missouri.
You know it's, and every once in a while he said like it would be sort of nice to go on like a fun trip.
And I'm just like yeah OK no, that's just not, that's just cross that off your list right now, buddy.
And he gets the non-negotiable.
It's not a good one.
And he gets it.
And he's never made a fuss about it.
To your point, like it really has.
I so appreciate the fact that he's just instead of he can't get out of it.
So he's gotten into it.
He can drive anywhere in Kansas City.
He's got a ton of things he likes to do in Kansas City.
He's really made it his own because if his intention was like, this is the time when we're going to have an adventure.
Well, that would be a big conflict in our marriage, because for me, this time is something is spent a different way.
Yeah.
In a way that's super, super important to me.
So.
You just have to come to that place of agreement, of harmony.
Yes.
It's not easy.
No, it's not easy.
There's also another thing about the holidays, and this is why maybe it's good to set an intention and, as you said, keep it realistic.
Like, okay, I can do one thing a day and not try to do 10 things a day.
Because a lot of times, myself included people end the holidays more exhausted than they began the holidays.
Yes.
Yes.
And maybe you need to accept that.
You know that I'm not.
This is not going to be the time where I'm going to necessarily, you know, I'm just.
I am going to spend a lot of time racing around because it's just that kind of time.
So do you have an intention for this holiday season, Gretchen?
I mean, my intention is just really to spend time with family.
That is my intention.
And so I'm not going to get a lot of reading done.
I'm not going to do a lot of editing on my draft.
I'm not going to do a lot of clutter clearing.
I'm just going to in Kansas City and then also when we're back in New York, it's like we're doing a bunch of New York stuff as a family.
Oh, that's fun.
So it'll be great.
How about you?
What's your intention?
Well, this year, Sarah and I are writing a pilot over the holiday.
It's actually due January 10th.
So I have an intention to do a lot of writing over the holiday.
But the couple of days I do take are just going to be focused family time.
You know squeezing every bit of Christmas with Jack that I can out of the season.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, so let us know if you tried this at home, what your holiday intention is and how it worked for you.
Twitter, Facebook.
Drop us an email at podcast at GretchenRubincom or go to happiercastcom.
Slash 96.
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OK, Gretchen, so you've got a holiday hack about gingerbread houses.
The reason that this is a hack is this is a way to make gingerbread houses that is far, far easier than actually doing them from gingerbread.
Because when you and I were little, we made gingerbread houses with mom and it's very hard to do.
So this is a way that I learned when my older daughter, Eliza, was in kindergarten.
They did like a unit on houses and homes and And, and so they, we learned how to make these homes and it's so easy and it's it's so fun.
So what you need is a box of graham crackers like the kind that come in the flat sheets that are rectangular and tub frosting, not the, and there's regular frosting and whipped.
You don't want the whipped kind because that's lighter.
You want the heavier kind because this is like cement, this frosting.
And all you do is you take, like a piece of cardboard, cover it with tinfoil and then build a house structure out of the graham crackers, using the frosting as the cement, as the glue that's holding the pieces together.
And you can build like a little house.
You know, it's like got two short sides, two long sides, and a little triangular roof.
And you let it dry overnight.
And I mean, that thing dries hard.
It is really, really sturdy.
And then you can take any kind of candy or pretzels or cookies or any kind of sprinkles, food coloring, all that fun stuff, and use the frosting.
And you can have vanilla frosting that you use white or you can dye it any color that you want.
Or you can use brown frosting, which looks very kind of...
Like timber.
And so we just make it like three or four houses and use them as centerpieces.
Oh, that's fun.
It's so fun.
And it's very creative.
You know, it's like, oh, I'm going to alternate red and green M&Ms for the roof.
Or I'm going to use pretzel rods to be like a, you know, like a wood fence.
Yeah.
It's pretty easy even for little kids.
You might have to build a house for them, but then they just put the frosting on and stick stuff on it.
And we've done them for Halloween because you could just make it all Halloween-themed.
You could do St.
Patrick's Day, make the whole thing green.
But it's really easy, and it's tons of fun.
And then they look really professional.
They look really good.
Even if they're not very well done, they look really cool.
So that is my hack.
That's a great idea.
Yeah.
Even I could pull this off.
Yeah.
Let me just ask one question.
Do you just use a knife or like a paintbrush for the frosting or what do you use?
No, we just use a knife.
OK, so that's really easy.
Yeah.
No, we don't have any kind of special.
I mean, you know me.
We have no special equipment.
We have no special skills.
It's basically part of the fun too, is you go to the like, you go to the drugstore, the grocery store and buy like, all kinds of fun candy.
Like those ones that what are they called?
Like non-parales.
They're like chocolate disks that have like almost look like little snowflakes on them, little white dots.
I mean, it's fun to buy them and do something with them.
You don't necessarily want to eat them, but it's like or, like you know, licorice rounds, and oh, that'll make a great window.
It's just fun.
And then they're a centerpiece.
So it looks very festive.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
So that's my hack.
Holiday hack.
A graham cracker house.
And on my website I'll post some pictures of graham cracker houses from years gone by, if somebody wants to see what they look like.
Cool.
All right, Gretchen, it is time for a happiness stumbling block.
Yes.
So...
I think that a big stumbling block that comes up during the holidays is shared work.
And I love the subject of shared work.
And in the show notes I'll put a post that I wrote.
That's one of my favorite posts that I have ever written.
That is all about the problem of shared work.
But I think shared work can be a particular problem in the holiday season.
Yeah.
I mean, I think for a lot of people I happen to love the holidays, but I think for a lot of people the holidays really do mean work.
Like that's what they think.
Like they don't, and I don't mean writing their pilot.
I mean they're thinking they have to decorate, they have to buy gifts, they have to run errands, they have to cook, they have to clean, they have to take care of the kids because they're not in school.
I mean, it's like an overwhelming amount of work for you And there could be a lot of tension around who's doing what.
Yeah, exactly.
And again, it's sort of like setting your holiday intention.
If you think about it in advance and think about like well, what's coming up and how do I want this all to play out.
Then you can get in front of it and take charge of it and think through possible conflicts that might arise, so that you can try to keep things going, maybe more fair or clearer or it doesn't become such a happiness stumbling block.
Yeah, because you can imagine if somebody's like, oh, the holidays are my time to relax.
I'm going to sleep late and read.
They may not be like, oh, let me run out and get that ham for you.
Yeah.
You know I mean and it's not that necessarily they are trying to be rude or make you do everything.
It's just in their minds, this is a time to relax.
And people have different ideas.
Like I am very into buying gifts and having everything perfect in that arena.
And it's like, Adam just doesn't care about that as much.
So he, to him, me saying, well, I'm going to run to Target at 11 PM.
That seems odd to him.
You know, whereas to me, I'm like, well, of course I have to do this.
It's my job to have all of our gifts together, you know?
Right.
And I shouldn't resent him for not, you know, being on top of it, because it's not his number one priority.
But see, I think you put your finger on one of the key problems that comes up with shared work, which is people tend to do the things that they think are important and they value those things.
And so they sort of feel like well, I should get credit for doing that, because that's an important thing.
But somebody else may just have a different view about what's important.
For instance, for somebody, it might be really important to have a clean kitchen all the time.
And so they spend a lot of time cleaning the kitchen.
And somebody else is like well, why don't we just leave the dishes in the sink or, you know, on the counter until the end of the day, and then we'll just load the dishwasher all at once?
They're both perfectly acceptable approaches.
But when one person spends the whole day cleaning up the kitchen, then they're going to feel resentment and angry and like they've been put upon.
Right.
It's this idea that we both have a different idea of what's important and what needs to be accomplished.
And then sometimes there is the problem where you're like well yeah, you might think that, but you get the advantage of having a clean kitchen all day long, because I'm the one
You know what I mean?
Or like oh, on Christmas morning when everybody's opening their presents.
It's so lovely and so festive.
And who do we have to thank for that?
Elizabeth, who went to Target at 11 p.m.
So sometimes you don't feel like you get that recognition.
Yeah.
For the contribution that you've made.
And then you might feel like or I often wonder if people are kind of free writing.
Yes.
And I am guilty of that.
I mean, I know that there's many times I do not do my fair share of work, partly because like, if I'm at, like my in-laws, let's say, and it's cleaning up after dinner.
It's like I just feel at a loss about how to deal with leftovers, for instance.
So I'll just stand there totally useless while everybody else is packing leftovers and wrapping things up.
And I'm just like, oh, well, I don't know what to do and how to pack this.
I try to just lend moral support.
But so I relate to the side of this of people who aren't doing their share, you know.
But I think it's also can be good if like you can give somebody assignment.
You're like you hand them a dish towel and you're like, why don't you dry?
Or like here, why don't you go run to the store and get bagels?
It's like sometimes people they're willing to help.
They need an assignment.
And, and so the thing is be willing to say like it would really help if you did X Y Z, because sometimes
Because maybe they would, you know, I think.
Sometimes people assume that if people aren't helping, it's because they're slacking off.
And again, it might be just they don't or it's not their kitchen.
So they're like, well, I don't want to put anything away because I don't know where anything goes.
It's like, OK, well, I'm going to find another job for you.
Right.
And then sometimes it's also just being realistic.
Like I mean, as I said, James Jewish, so he doesn't have any kind of particular associations with Christmas trees and Christmas decorations whatsoever, which for you and me is huge.
Part of our childhood is just like all the emotional weight of Christmas decorations for us and how we had our own, our ornament that we got every year and our collections.
And one of the things that's contributed a lot to the harmony of my marriage is I don't expect Jamie to help with Christmas decorations.
Like, he's just not interested.
And it's work.
You know, we have to bring up the boxes from our storage unit in the basement and we set everything up.
And Eliza and Eleanor get a big kick out of it, and the three of us do it.
And, you know, this year Eliza said, well, don't we need to get Daddy to help?
And I'm like, no, he's off the hook here.
He can help if he wants, but we're not going to expect that from him.
Because it's just, he just doesn't want that to be on his to-do list.
And fair enough, you know?
It's just...
Right.
And it's that thing where you don't want to you don't want to sit there grousing.
Yes.
He's not enthusiastic enough.
I did that a couple of years down that road.
I did.
And then I was like, you know what?
I could just let this go.
And this is not his thing.
He's a great guy.
This is not his thing.
And yeah.
And so, again, it's it's about I don't expect him to share that work.
So I don't resent it when he doesn't help.
Right.
And that was just like me letting go of an expectation that I had that just wasn't.
He just didn't feel like that was something that should be, something that was, that was on his to do list.
But I think you're right.
I think the key to the getting over the stumbling block is what you just said about if someone's not going to do something, then just let it go.
And what you said about assigning tasks is.
Because that's how you can make sure everybody is doing their share.
It seems like you have to do in advance.
I know, when we have people over, I'm always frustrated that Adam isn't rushing to get them drinks when they come in.
It's like he's just having conversation and not realizing that he's a host.
But what I'm realizing I need to do now is, before everyone gets there, I need to say, when everyone comes in, just make sure they get a drink.
I'm going to be counting on you for that because I have to do this other thing.
Yeah.
Right.
You know, so he knows it's his job in advance.
Right.
Make it all explicit.
Well, mom made a good suggestion, which we've never done, but it seems like a good idea.
With shared work is like you could even say things like today's your day to keep the kitchen clean, or today's your day to keep the living room picked up, or today's your day to run to the grocery store, or something.
So that people have this sense of like everyone's taking their turn and like now I'm on the hook and now I'm off the hook.
And so that there is a feeling like no one's being exploited and taken advantage of.
But then also, people know how to sort of do do their job, you know, instead of just waiting for it to occur to them because they just might not think of it.
So I thought that was a good idea.
Yes.
Thanks, mom.
Good suggestion.
Yeah.
Shared work.
It's a big one.
All right, Gretchen, it is time for a listener question.
And this week we have a voicemail.
Hi, Gretchen and Elizabeth.
My name is Jenny.
I'm from Reading, Pennsylvania, and I love listening to your show each week.
My question for you, and something that I'm hoping you can help me with, is I am a librarian and I have about 10 volunteers that help me every year.
And I love to give gifts.
So every year, when it comes around Christmas time, I want to get these grandiose presents for my volunteers, but I just don't have enough money to do that.
So do you have any suggestions for a meaningful gift for my volunteers?
I have a mixture of male and female volunteers that would show them how much I appreciate them but not break the bank.
Thanks so much.
Bye.
Well, that's a great question, because I think a lot of people that occurs to a lot of people, which is, I would love to give a gift, but maybe I have to give a lot of people a gift, or I just don't have that much money to spend.
So I want something that seems nice, but that's not expensive.
You know, I think a great thing to do is get something personalized, but that's small.
You know it's not like you have to get a personalized, you know fancy duffel bag.
You know, like on Shutterfly, they have personalized notebooks and mouse pads.
I think the mouse pads are $10.
Yeah.
You know, it's hard to get a gift for less than $10 unless it's homemade.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But something like the mouse pad you can imagine, like you could take a picture of all the volunteers and then everybody gets the mouse pad that has everybody's picture on it, so that it feels special.
Or also anything that has initials on it.
Again, like if you can find something like a bookmark or something that has somebody's initial, it does feel more personalized.
And it shows that you didn't just run out and buy a bunch of something because, since it's personalized, it shows that you had that specific recipient in mind.
That makes it feel more special.
Yeah.
Gretchen.
Another thing, if you do want to go the homemade route and really save, is the I don't even know how do you say it pomander balls that you used to make.
Yes, I've made these for years.
You take oranges or apples and you stick cloves in them.
It's a great thing to do while you're watching TV, and they smell amazing.
And they have kind of a holiday look.
Yeah, so that's something that's homemade.
You need a little time to do it, but it's not hard to do.
It's just something that you can do while you're watching TV.
Yeah, I have such memories of you making those for hours.
We would have bowls of those all over and they do smell really good and they are festive and seasonal.
So I think that's a great option.
Yeah, they're really fun.
But I would love to hear if other listeners have great ideas.
I think this is a thing where we could really come up with a whole inventory of people's solutions to this problem, because it's something that many people face, which is what is a good present that seems thoughtful and appropriate and but isn't going to break the bank.
So send in your ideas.
Thanks for that question, Jenny.
That is a great question.
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OK, Gretchen, it is time for demerits and gold stars.
And you are up this week with a happiness demerit.
OK, I think this is probably almost universal.
Well, not almost universal, because some people really are good about not doing this.
But it's like something that I get every year.
And I always vow that I'm going to do better, which is I love my gift buying and gift identifying too late.
You know, and then so then there's that pressure.
And I know, you know, keep a list all year round and buy things when you see them.
But I'm an underbuyer.
I don't really like to buy.
I don't like to shop.
And then when I do feel like I need something, I usually just go ahead and get it.
And I love buying a gift for somebody when I know what they want, but it's hard.
Mm-hmm.
And in our family it's really expected that you create a list of a lot of things that you want, as well as things.
So you're buying things, but you're also supposed to be telling people what you want, to make it easier for them to buy good presents for you.
And these are little things, like...
Mom said she wanted a pair of oven mitts.
I'm like, okay.
I mean, stocking present, glamour.
But I just, you know, and every year I'm like, I've learned my lesson this time.
It's just, it'll be a lot more fun and a lot easier if I just like start earlier and then I just don't.
It just creeps up on you.
But yeah.
I also think it would help.
Well, in our family, we draw names and I think a lot of families do that.
I think drawing names earlier would help this problem.
I mean, I think part of it is you draw the name so close to Christmas that you're sort of behind before you started.
Well, yeah.
And by drawing names.
It's like all the adults in our family who are going to be together for Christmas will draw one name and then you just buy presents for that adult.
Right.
So, right.
Like this year, I have mom, and mom's probably the easiest one because she is really good at making a list.
And that's why she's easy to buy for.
And it's exciting.
Like, I feel like I like knowing that I'm getting her something that she wants.
It's not like it takes the fun out of it for me, but you're right.
We usually do it the day after Thanksgiving and maybe we should move it up more like Labor Day.
Yeah, exactly.
Excellent.
Okay.
How about you?
Give us a gold star, holiday gold star.
I give my gold star to my mother-in-law and my father-in-law, Ramona and Bill, because they every Christmas make handmade tamales.
And I may have mentioned on the show before that a Mexican tradition is to eat tamales on Christmas.
And Adam's family is Mexican-American tamales.
And this is something that I've come to very much appreciate about their culture, because I absolutely love tamales.
And the thing is, it's a real pain to make them.
It's like a multi-day process.
And they could just go buy a bunch of frozen tamales and, you know, heat them up.
But they still go through every year the process.
And you make dozens and dozens.
I mean, it's not like, oh, you're making one pan of tamales.
Because they also have a party every Christmas Eve.
So you're making tamales, you know, for an army, basically.
Right.
And so I give them a gold star, because it really is one of those things like mom's Christmas decorations that when you go to their house and they have the tamales it really makes it feel like Christmas and feel warm and cozy and delicious and fun.
So a big gold star for taking the time and the effort during a busy time to actually make these by hand.
That sounds so fun.
It is.
Yeah listen, you got to FedEx, some of those to Kansas City, so we can have some satellite tamales this year.
Yes.
Excellent.
You will love them.
And that's it for this episode of Happier.
Remember to try this at home.
Set your holiday intention.
Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Thank you to our producer, Kristen Meinzer.
Also thanks to Andy Bowers and Maura Mayer of Panoply.
Get in touch.
Gretchen's on Twitter at Gretchen Rubin, and I'm at Elizabeth Kraft.
Our email address is podcast at GretchenRubin.com.
Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Kraft.
And I'm Gretchen Rubin.
Thanks for joining us on Word and Upword.
From the Onward Project.
Hi Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here.
We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you.
Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes.
What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you.
Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective.
So consider questions like this.
What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me?
Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me?
If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose?
And here's a question.
Would I like to have more time in solitude restorative solitude or would I like to have more time with friends?
You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier.
With greater self-knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values.
In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition.
For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get podcasts.
You can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships, Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success, Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents, and so many more.
