Hello, lovely.
I'm Maria.
And my name is Rory, and we're the hosts of the IELTS Speaking for Success podcast.
The best podcast in the world.
The podcast that aims to help you with your speaking skills as well as your listening.
Oh yes, you did rory, and we're gonna have an episode about our funny mistakes.
Yes, this is our bloopers episode.
So, dear listener, it's our special episode for you.
We've been very productive this year lots of youtube videos, lots of audio episodes for you, lots of jokes okay, and when we record things, we make mistakes, and a lot of things are not included in the episodes which you listen to.
Why rory, why don't we include them?
Because i say bad words and we can't include bad words in the podcast.
So in this episode, you will hear a collection of funny moments with bad words, with rude words.
Don't take them seriously.
It's all fun.
So, yeah.
It's supposed to be a funny episode for you, but if you don't want to hear bad words from us, don't listen to it.
We wish you happiness.
Have a lovely day today.
We are sending you our love, joy, happiness.
Thank you so much for being with us.
We really appreciate it.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for listening to all my jokes.
Rory, what do you have to say to our dear listeners?
Thank you for listening to all Maria's jokes.
In many ways, 2023 has been our most successful year.
But for some, it's not been such a great year.
And so we hope, by giving them this episode we'll manage to make it a little bit brighter as we go into the new year.
Happy New Year, dear listener.
Merry Christmas.
Stay with us and we'll stay with you.
Bye.
Bye.
This episode starring Maria the Great and Rory Fergus to kill a Godzilla.
Nice.
Why are we working on a Sunday?
We're going to go to hell.
For your I... For your I IELTS score.
For your I high IELTS score.
Your hand nine score.
No, your nand bind score.
Yeah, let's start the year on a high note.
On a nigh note.
And my name is Rory, and we're the hosts of the IELTS Speaking for Success podcast.
The podcast aims to give you...
Something.
It's closer to my mouth.
It's inside.
It's, it's... Okay.
Now it's in my mouth.
And my name is Rory, and we are the hosts of the IELTSpeak.
That was lovely, wasn't it?
And my name is Rory, and we're here to help prepare you for IELTS speaking.
No!
Did you know that ADS is one letter removed from AIDS, which is a disease that kills people?
I'm sure that's a total coincidence.
Let's begin.
Part 3.
ADS.
Or AIDS.
He injured my knee.
Vanya, you should hurt yourself too, because then we're all equal.
We're all in this together.
He's immune to any injuries.
Lucky bastard.
What natural sounds do you like?
Farting.
What will you do if you disagree with others?
Bomb them.
No, not really.
You can also say that, oh yes, I recently bought the fk.
No, don't buy a fk, You're too beautiful.
Ear plugs.
So ear plugs are these little thingies, yeah, ear plugs that you kind of stuff them into your ear.
You'll rip your ear off.
Maria, do not use the R word.
Now, the part three questions about school, jobs and young people.
I was a young people once.
Now I'm an old... Young people are usually early adopters.
Adopters.
What do they adopt?
Children?
And what subjects are popular with young adults today?
Oh, I remember a time when I once told a friend who was having a crisis about how they looked.
Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now.
You may currently think, oh, I'm too spooky, or nobody wants to see these tiny boobies.
But believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say dear God, I was a beautiful thing.
And did they follow this advice?
No.
Oh, bother.
Okay, I will do it now.
I'm gonna go and take 2,000 naked pictures of myself.
Now.
No, I did part two, part three, part two, part three.
But there's lots of swearing for you to edit out because I say things like... Hello, Dania.
It's me, Rory.
Now, I'm recording the one where I have to describe my favorite place in my home where I can relax.
And of course, we all know that every man's throne is located in his toilet.
I will talk about the toilet.
I will not talk about the toilet.
I'm just making your brother laugh.
Do you think the world will be noisier in the future?
Well, not if bad Vlad presses the big red button there won't be.
I'm going to describe an activity that I enjoyed doing in my free time when I was younger.
I'm going to talk, of course, about that common pastime of many young men.
Master... I don't know if we're allowed to include that.
That's a bit racist.
What is it?
Daniel, make sure you include these bits, okay?
Make sure you include the racism.
Or chocolate boobies.
Once I got chocolate boobies.
You cannot say that.
Why?
Why can't they say boobies on the podcast?
Chocolate boobies.
You cannot save chocolate boobies.
And this segment has to be cut because I've just said the word cut.
Oh, well, what a shame.
Why do people say there aren't enough hours in the day?
It's because they're working too much.
They should work less.
And there would be more work for everybody and everything would be evenly distributed.
Communism for the win.
Well, in this, in this country, we have a cost of living crisis.
I don't know what it's like in other countries.
Oh, it's totally fine in russia.
So we have everything.
So, first of all, what is a blockbust?
What the fk is a blockbuster?
I just wanna say it's a big movie.
But Rory does have a relationship with chocolate.
That sounds awful.
What's your relationship with chocolate?
That's not going to be Niall's question.
Let's move on to the next one.
And now I would like to describe another city where I would like to stay in for a short time.
Where I would like to stay for a short time.
Let me update this.
Do you think going to the cinema is a good way to spend time with friends?
Well, based on what we just said about drugs, probably not.
Um...
Have you taken some meds?
These are Maria's special effects.
Unhinged giggling.
Oh, no.
Okay, I'll stop talking.
Fine.
Then I will not do my job.
Maria, have you ever sent a dick pic to somebody?
No.
For a reason.
Obviously.
Well, like I said, I have a front door key and I have a garage key.
Garage?
I'm not fucking American.
Whereas young people probably prefer something more vigorous, since they have all that useful energy to expend.
I wouldn't know what that looks like.
I'm so f***ing old.
Yeah, I was airy though.
Oh, did you fart?
I'm just kidding.
Ladies don't fart.
Ladies don't fart and they don't poo.
All ladies do is just exist in a void of being amazing.
You should say when you went to the party where the party was, what kind of party it was and explain why you enjoyed this party.
Or are you going to tell us about Kinky Party?
Oh my god, no.
Normal party.
Well, normal.
Eurovision party.
We used to sing this song.
Yummy, yummy chocolate, that's what I like.
Chocolate on a biscuit, chocolate on a cake.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
The thing people do to make babies education.
This word has three letters.
Education.
Have you watched it?
Could you write it down, please?
Because I think like the first season, second and third are much better than the fourth.
What do you reckon?
Could you write in the comments?
And then at home we were just sitting there like, I have to do what?
This finger goes where?
What will you do if you disagree with others?
Stab them.
How does building style affect people's lives?
What?
Uh, I don't know.
F***!
So Titanic.
Many people froze to death.
And well they, I think they froze to death, and then they drowned.
Well, you either do one or the other.
What have you done to help the elderly?
Where does this question come from?
Is it like, are we being targeted?
What have you done to help the elderly?
Hmm?
I hate those earplugs.
It's kind of like... You rub your ears.
You kind of insert the thingies in your... Ooh, disgusting.
Yeah, I really dislike it.
Shame we can't use that part because I've said... Alright, alright.
Alright, alright.
Alright, alright.
Alright, alright.
But it certainly made an impression on me that I'll never forget.
Oh, f**k, I didn't even start the f**king timer.
Well, we can't use this section because I've said f**k. Never mind.
Okay, so we can't say f**k.
And we can't say condom.
Yes.
Why?
The algorithms.
No, because like if you use this, you know, ear plugs, it's an ear.
You rip your ears with the freaking ear plugs.
Right.
I can't say that.
All right.
Fine.
Anyway, we're not including this.
Oh, why?
Because you've said something.
Oh, Manu's gonna watch this back and be like, why did I leave those two in charge?
