Hey, before we start, I just wanted to give a heads up that this episode includes some very heavy topics.
We talk about suicide, eating disorders, and other mental health issues.
So if this is something that you think will be upsetting for you, please, please For resources on these topics, visit spotify.com.
Hello. I have been talking openly about my mental health on the internet for years now.
Pretty much since I started... putting content of myself out there on the internet I've been talking very openly about my mental health.
And I don't necessarily remember this being a conscious choice, to be honest.
I think it's just who I am by nature. I've always been somebody who is just... super open about these things.
I've never had... much of an issue talking about my struggles.
It's kind of bizarre to me, actually, because I know that for many people...
It's really uncomfortable to share their struggles with others.
But for me, for whatever reason, I've just always been super open about it.
Especially on the internet, which you would think would be even more scary. than in person.
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Things people love. I have been somewhat a part of the mental health conversation online. since I started posting content online.
But the fact that I am involved has made me hyper aware of the conversation itself. on a wide spread scale, you know?
And... I think that the conversation around mental health is an incredible, incredible, incredible thing.
But being hyper aware of it And being a part of it has kind of caused me to analyze it.
Analyze the conversation as a whole. What are people saying online? in regards to mental health.
What advice are people sharing? What knowledge are people sharing?
And I've started to become aware of the flaws in the mental health conversation online.
Now, two things can be true at once. You know, something can be incredible and helpful and But it can also be incredibly damaging and... and harmful.
And I think that That's happening with this mental health conversation online.
After years of being a part of the conversation and heavily analyzing the conversation, I've become so... hyper-aware of its flaws.
I think that it's an important conversation to have.
What are the flaws? in this conversation around mental health.
And so today, we're gonna kind of dig into it.
We're gonna talk about the evolution of the mental health conversation online We're gonna talk about the benefits of this conversation and we're gonna talk about the negative impacts of this conversation.
We're just going to deep dive into it. I first wanna touch on kind of the evolution of the conversation around mental health in society.
Whenever I talk to people who are older than me, my parents... my grandparents, people who are their age.
It's very interesting to me how their experience is, with mental health growing up was so different than my experience.
When they were growing up in, say, the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, there was not a super open conversation about mental health.
It was much more of a taboo. It was... Much less normalized, you know?
It was... from what I've heard, you know, somewhat frowned upon, which is like ridiculous to think now, but you know, based on the experiences of my family, That was their experience.
And there was no internet. So if you felt something uncomfortable going on in your brain, Let's use depression as an example.
Let's say you start to feel just chronically depressed.
And, you know, maybe... you're having suicidal thoughts and maybe you're unable to get out of bed. but you don't know what depression is.
You've never heard of it. Or maybe you've heard of it, but it didn't sound like something that was common, right?
Let's say you're having all of these symptoms and you're having a really hard time.
Where do you go to figure out What's going on with you if you don't have the energy to go to a doctor or you don't have access to a doctor?
You can't just go on your phone and Google, why can I not get out of bed?
And why do I want to... And why am I so sad?
And why do I feel like the world is ending?
Why? You can't just go on Google and figure it out.
You can't just look up hashtag depression and scroll through the posts to see other people's experiences with depression.
You couldn't do that. And so... I think information around mental health has become so much more accessible because of the internet.
And so now it's something that majority of us are very aware of.
It's not a taboo as much anymore. But I would say now more than ever, it's a very safe and accepting time to to want to talk about your mental health struggles, especially online.
I hate making statements like that though, because I know that there are exceptions.
There are still people out there who maybe don't believe in certain things. mental health struggles, like, they're like, nah, that's not real.
Or... There are people out there that are like, ah, that's not that bad.
Like, shut the fuck up. That still exists.
But that will always exist. Sorry, that's really pessimistic, but it probably will.
There will always be assholes. But I think now is possibly the most accepting time. in history when it comes to mental health.
Now let's dig into the current mental health conversation online.
And let's start by talking about the positive impacts that I think this conversation has on humanity. as a whole well number one mental health struggles are very isolating because Number one, you can tend to feel different than the people around you.
If you look around you and everybody's just... living life, fine and dandy, you know, just floating on by.
And you are in... immense pain. In your brain.
And something's just... eating away at you, bothering you.
You can feel so alone because when you look around, you're like, everybody around me is doing fine and I'm struggling.
You know, who am I going to relate to, right?
And so the online mental health conversation is important Because when you're feeling really alone and the people around you directly in your life aren't struggling with the same thing as you, you can go online and find thousands and thousands, probably even millions of of people struggling with the same thing that you're struggling with right now.
You can watch a video of them talking about it.
You can listen to a podcast of them talking about it.
You can read a tweet about them talking about it.
You can read a tweet of them talking about it, whatever. you can find people who are experiencing what you're experiencing.
And through that, you can find comfort and peace relief in a sense.
Because seeing that other people are dealing with what you're dealing with, shows you that you're not broken.
You know, you're not... so different from the rest of humanity.
I use the word broken because that's kind of how I always felt when I was really deep in a mental health struggle.
And I don't like that terminology, by the way, but that's just what my brain would tell me.
It'd be like, you're all fucked up. I would kind of think of myself as...
I would think of myself as like a porcelain little figurine doll, right?
And I would think of everybody around me as little porcelain figurine dolls.
Porcelain is very breakable, right? When you drop it, it shatters.
So I would think of myself as like a shattered... porcelain doll and everyone around me was still fully intact, but I'm shattered.
And I would think of it like I'm shattered to a point where I can't get glued back together.
So I'll never be able to fit in with these people again.
Which, by the way, was not true. Because what I didn't realize was, is that I was a porcelain doll with a tiny little chip in my paint.
And all I needed to do was... go online and order some paint so I could just paint over the little chipped piece of paint that fell off.
I was not fully shattered you know. Here I am.
Here I am with the fucking metaphors, okay?
Sue me. Sue me. I can't help it. Sorry. Can't help it.
The moral of that story is that... you can feel reassured that you can get through your mental health struggle. when you see other people pushing through and succeeding online.
I also think the conversation around mental health online removes the stigma and judgment around mental health struggles through education.
There's so... much information now about various mental health struggles that Even when you're not seeking it out, there's a good chance that you'll stumble upon something that's talking about a mental health struggle.
It's just... in the rotation on the internet.
So we're being exposed to it. And through that, you know, we're learning, whether we wanna be learning or not, like whether we're seeking out knowledge actively. about certain mental health struggles or not.
We're learning about them. And the more you know about something, the less...
You judge it, right? So if somebody comes to you and says, I have depression.
And you don't really know what depression is. you might just by instinct be kind of frightened of them.
Like, whoa, what does that mean? Like, does that mean you're like a psychopath?
Like, are you going to stab me right now?
I know that's an extreme example, but...
It's not wrong. If you don't know... about something, you're much more likely to judge it Whereas if you understand depression and you have a basic knowledge of what depression is and what it means about a person who has it, then when somebody comes to you and says, you're not startled by that.
You're not weirded out by that. And you're not immediately subconsciously going to start judging this person.
Just because you have a lack of knowledge about what it is and what it entails.
So I think removing the stigma and judgment around mental health struggles just through this open... conversation is an incredible thing because the more we love and accept each other, the better.
And that's obvious. But on top of that, I think the internet's mental health conversation has also helped people learn more about themselves through, you know, this sort of general awareness that we all have, people are now more aware of different mental health struggles and what they entail.
And that can be incredibly helpful. If you're watching the video, you can see that my cat is just like not leaving me alone, which I love.
I love our time together, Frankie, but...
You're just distracting me. Let's say one day you start shaking uncontrollably.
And then your heart starts beating and you're hyperventilating just out of nowhere.
And you start to feel really scared. and really freaked out and really uncomfortable, but you don't know why.
And you start to feel woozy almost like, oh God, what's going on?
And let's say you don't have... a sort of baseline knowledge of different common mental health struggles. you might not realize that what you're having is a panic attack.
And so it might make the panic attack worse.
My point is... I think this openness and baseline knowledge that we all have acquired. on the internet, through the internet.
I think that this has allowed us to notice traits in ourselves that might be a sign that there's something wrong.
So that we can either seek help or... do more research and learn how to self-soothe in some situations, et cetera.
And last but not least, I think the mental health conversation online has made it a lot easier for people people to talk to the people in their real life, their friends, their family, their significant other, about their struggles.
Because societally, the conversation has picked up.
So now... it's so much easier to go to the people in your life and have these sorts of If you're struggling with your mental health, your behavior will almost inevitably change.
And the people who are closest to you will feel that.
And there can be times when you might lash out at somebody who you care about.
Or you might cut someone off who you really care about because you're struggling with your mental health.
And that can put a serious wedge in between a relationship. if you have an understanding of what you're going through, and you can share that with your loved ones and explain it to them, then they can have grace with you and they can be more patient with you and and Giving context to your behavior when you're struggling with your mental health can really help the people in your life to support you better, but also not take it personal.
And that's a really great thing. This episode is brought to you by Cozy.
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Please fuse responsibly. Okay, so now that we've sort of laid out all of the positives Now let's get into the negative.
I just take a serious, serious... chug of my coffee before getting into the cons of the mental health discussion, okay?
Because we're really getting... We're going to get deep into it.
All right. Let's start with self-diagnosing.
Now, this is so funny because I just said that...
It was a positive thing that the internet can help people discover issues that they may be struggling with themselves through seeing other people struggling with a similar thing on the internet and them having... a diagnosis maybe, or them having an explanation maybe.
And that can help somebody discover that they are struggling with the same thing.
Yes, I think it can be a positive thing.
It can also be a very negative thing. And that's why it's so complicated because I do think that it's, on a case-by-case basis.
Sometimes it can change someone's life and... be the reason that they go and get help from a doctor or a therapist or from a loved one or whatever. but it can also be incredibly harmful.
So let's get into why. If you see someone online describing their... struggles with mental health, and maybe they say they have anxiety and panic disorder.
And you hear a few of the symptoms that they have and you're like, wait, I have a few of those And then without talking to a professional, without going to the doctor, without talking to a therapist,
You decide that you have this. And so you diagnose yourself.
This is not a good thing. Because in order to get a diagnosis of something... you should be speaking to a doctor or a therapist, right? you might diagnose yourself incorrectly.
That's number one. Number two, you might start telling everyone that you have these certain mental health struggles and you have this sort of diagnosis, When in reality, you diagnosed yourself and then you might start spreading false information. to other people about what it means to have this certain mental health struggle.
And that can be really damaging. On one hand, if you truly do have... the mental health struggle that you're kind of researching online. then it's incredible that you now have access to the information that you need to further pursue getting help for this struggle.
But If you are just online searching for a diagnosis, but you actually don't, have any desire to... go and speak to a professional to make sure that that's true.
Or if you just kind of want A diagnosis... just so that you can finally put a label to what you're struggling with so that when you're talking about it in conversation, you have a name for it, that's when I think it's a negative thing because you might be In a way, living a lie, right?
Seeing something on the internet and saying, wait a minute, I might have that.
And then going to a professional and getting professionally diagnosed with something is one thing.
But going online and Deciding, oh, I for sure have... this mental health struggle because this person just described it and I match up with that perfectly.
So now I have it. And literally like... diagnosing yourself and then stopping there, that's not good.
And I've seen that happen. That's the problem.
You might start living your life differently.
Because you diagnosed yourself with... You might start thinking of yourself differently.
And it might not even be true. And that's why it's so important to do your due diligence and not diagnose yourself.
So this next negative element of the mental health conversation is kind of a hypothesis that I have.
It's not something that I know for sure.
This is just something that has been on my mind.
I wonder if overexposure to mental health conversations. can actually lead you in the wrong direction in the sense that Sometimes it's better not to know about something until you have to.
Now let me give you an example for why it might be better sometimes. to not be overly exposed to something.
Let's say... Somebody's been having a really rough week.
Okay? And then... They're on TikTok and they see a video of somebody talking about their depression and And then they're, you know, self-reflecting and they're like, well, I've been really bummed out this last week and I'm just like –
Like, I'm in a rut this week and whatever.
And... Let's say in this theoretical situation, this person is not like, depressed.
They are just having a rough week. They really, truly do not have depression.
They're just having a rough week. We all do, right?
But let's say them seeing this TikTok sort of triggers their mind. into thinking, well, I'm kind of experiencing the same thing that this person was experiencing I have depression.
Now what if they don't go and get a diagnosis? what if they don't talk to a professional and they just sort of live with this idea that they have depression?
Is there a world in which them believing that they have it makes them develop it?
Now, I don't know if this is true. I don't know if there's science behind this.
I would love to talk to a scientist about this or a psychologist about this one day, but...
The human mind is so powerful. more powerful than I think we realize a lot of times.
And I wonder if you can convince yourself in a way that, that you have something.
And by doing that, you can actually truly develop it.
Another example would be, let's say... you're somebody who doesn't have anxiety at all.
You don't have anxiety. Like you... Yeah, maybe you get anxious here and there, like doing a big interview or job interview or doing a speech in front of your whole class, yeah, you get a little anxious here and there. but you have never had severe anxiety. where you're having anxiety at irrational times for no reason, you know?
But let's say you start watching videos on your For You page about anxiety and you start seeing videos all the time about anxiety.
And, you know, it's like facts about anxiety.
It's story time about my anxiety, like this, this and that, right? and you're being overexposed to it.
I wonder if... that can actually cause you to develop anxiety.
I'm curious about this. I remember hearing a story a little while back about... this, I feel like there was something about this topic generally. how overexposure to something can cause you to... to adopt that trait.
And it kind of makes sense to me in a way because, you know, When I'm hanging out with the same people often, I actually tend to pick up their traits.
Like one of my best friends is just like the best at coming up with like a funny little one liner.
Okay. And he said, he said like one, one liner once and, This is so funny to talk about.
One time he was just like loving you and he said that to me.
Okay. And then I was like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with that.
So then I started saying loving you to everyone.
Like if I was like, you know, walking out of the room and be like, loving you.
I love you. You know, like, and it became like, I stole that from him.
Because I... Loved it. And that's just like one of the 50 things that I've stolen from him.
Like that's just one example. You know when i'm spending a lot of time with my boyfriend I start to become my boyfriend like i'm talking like him, I'm thinking like him, I'm seeing the world through his eyes.
We're sponges, you know, we're constantly taking inspiration from the people around us, whether we want to or not. and so I guess my point here is you know Is there a possibility that overexposure to the mental health conversation could actually cause people to develop mental health issues struggles that they wouldn't have had otherwise.
But they developed... because they just were constantly hearing it, seeing it.
On top of that, there's something to be said for people who... already have diagnosed mental health struggles, and then them being exposed to... unnecessary amount of content. around mental health.
And at times that can be triggering in a way, you know, obviously This is tough because you can't control what's going to come up. on the internet what like what's going to be put in front of you you know like you can't Control what video is going to pop up on your YouTube explore page.
You can't control what somebody is going to be talking about 30 minutes into a podcast.
So let's say you're somebody who's struggled with Eating disorders, for example, that's a very common mental health struggle.
And anytime somebody talks about their eating disorder experience, it triggers you, you know?
It reignites a flame in your... Mine that maybe had diffused.
And so there's also something to be said for... people who are aware of their mental health struggles do have a diagnosis. being exposed to reminders constantly. of their mental health struggle and that making it worse because it reminds them that they have it, especially when they're in a period of their life where they're actually... doing pretty good with it.
I have anxiety. And... when I sometimes hear other people talking about like their, you know, why they had a panic attack or, you know, a really traumatizing panic attack experience for them.
Sometimes it can actually... start to make me feel like I'm about to get a panic attack.
You know, hearing about Panic attacks can sometimes remind you how terrifying and awful they are.
And that fear of getting a panic attack can ironically give you a panic attack.
So that can be potentially harmful. But at the same time, what might... trigger someone, could help someone.
And so that's why I don't know what the solution is because Yeah, something might really upset somebody, but it could also save someone else's life and make them feel not alone.
I don't think we can say like, well, I guess this content shouldn't be posted anymore. because I don't think that's true.
But also we can't necessarily say, well, It's your fault if you stumble upon content that triggers you.
It's bad luck. I guess it's the person who's watching its responsibility to sort of... enter the world of the internet with the assumption that what they might see is out of their control.
It's a complicated dilemma that I don't know the answer to.
There's also a huge issue with romanticizing mental health struggles on the internet.
Now, I would say the first time I saw this was on Tumblr. in probably 2014.
Maybe 2012, maybe 2015, I don't even know, around that time.
There was this major era of toxicity on the internet. during this time, especially with young people.
And what I remember of this era was it was sort of trendy to be and kind of, I don't know, Emo.
I guess we were calling it emo back then.
Being kind of depressed, you know... staying inside all day, not eating. wearing dark colored clothes, listening to... indie pop music that was sad or, like, edgy, you know...
It got fucking serious. And I was like...
13, 14, when this was all happening on the internet.
And... It was really upsetting for me. There was so much content. around being depressed and having an eating disorder.
It was like... a part of this sort of trend.
You know, it was like, you listen to Arctic Monkeys and Lana Del Rey, and you wear... black tennis skirts and like ripped up sweaters and like Doc Martens.
In like little Brandy Melville t-shirts and dresses and...
You have long hair and you're really pale and... sunken in and you look sick and that's a part of it.
You're just a tortured young soul. And it was just... so dark and it was really damaging to young kids at this time because I know so many people who developed eating disorders from this.
I know so many people who had some really, really damaging depressive tendencies that they developed you know, from this sort of online era.
And... It was incredibly toxic. But it's a great example of romanticizing poor mental health.
You know? And I think there were some people probably following this trend who were... already depressed, already had an eating disorder, already felt like an outsider maybe.
But then there were also probably some people who in a way felt left out. they were like, wow, this is like a trend and kind of like an online community in a way.
I want to be a part of this. And so they actually developed these sorts of traits and to fit in and you know, obviously not all mental health struggles can be developed you know You can't choose whether or not you have something.
You could be diagnosed with something. You can't choose that necessarily. but whether or not people were truly developing these mental health struggles or they were just pretending like they had them to fit in, it was a dark time.
But I think that this still happens now.
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Another negative element of the mental health conversation online is that People now have the ability to comment on... other people's mental health, whether they're commenting on Somebody who decided to... tell their story of like, I got diagnosed with this, this is how I've been dealing with it.
But they can also just comment on anyone's content. diagnose them with something or say, you know, have you like, do you have like, you should check yourself out for this because you kind of seem like you have this. et cetera.
Now that we're so open about mental health, it's become... normal to bring it up in pretty much any scenario.
Now, obviously that can be good in some ways, but it can also be bad. people feel really comfortable criticizing other people's stories about their mental health struggles.
People feel really comfortable accusing other people of lying about their mental health struggles.
People feel really comfortable going onto a complete stranger's page and saying, hey, you kind of seem like you have this... mental health struggle like oh you seem like like oh you laid in bed all day Okay, you're clearly depressed.
Like, or... You look like you have an eating disorder or you clearly have ADHD because you cannot... stay on topic for more than 30 seconds, like you have ADHD.
You see what I'm saying? This sort of comfort around just casually discussing mental health. can turn sour fast in some scenarios.
People who share their stories online really open themselves up. to criticism about something that is so deeply personal to them.
Mental health struggles are struggles for a reason.
And talking about those struggles can be really challenging.
Now, obviously, when you make the decision to share your story online to hopefully help someone, you are responsible for putting that video on the internet.
You know what I'm saying? And so to a certain extent, you have to know going into it that there's a chance that you're gonna get some negative feedback.
That's just how the internet is. But it doesn't make it fun.
You know what I'm saying? And there are some people out there who have probably posted their story dealing with their mental health struggles who have ended up getting so much hate maybe because of the way that they dealt with it or how long it took them to recover or how slow it took them to recover or whether or not they have recovered, et cetera.
Like... Maybe they didn't know that people were going to attack them.
You know, they just thought that they were going to post this video and it was going to help a few people and that would make them feel good.
But instead... they're getting judged or hated on for how they have dealt with their mental health struggle.
And that is unfortunate. But at the same time, it is... your responsibility to protect yourself from the world in a way.
You obviously can't protect yourself from everything.
But you can protect yourself from the internet if you want to.
You don't have to post a video of yourself talking about your mental health struggles.
You don't have to. Anytime I got criticized for talking about my mental health on the internet, whether it was somebody trying to diagnose me with something or re-diagnose me with something or... invalidate my feelings by saying like, well, you seem fine now, so...
You're lying and you're just using this to... be relatable or whatever.
I would get my feelings hurt by that. But I also knew deep down that I made the decision to... put my mental health struggles out there on the internet.
I also make the decision on a daily basis to continue to put myself out there on the internet. for whoever to see and for whoever to comment on.
So this is another example of a dilemma.
It's like It's not fair that people get hated on or invalidated. in the comment section when they talk about their mental health.
That's not fair. that's not nice. That sucks.
That feels shitty. But at the same time, you have to protect yourself. and take responsibility for putting yourself out there, you know?
But I'm gonna use myself as an example. I'm gonna tell a few stories about myself.
I remember I saw a comment or something once.
Now, this is like God knows how long ago this was, but it –
It really upset me. I got a comment once basically saying... that everything I've said about my mental health struggles, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, whatever, all of that was exaggerated and a lie. so that I could be relatable to the world.
And this hurt me so fucking bad. Now listen, again, I knew...
I can't be mad at this person because they're allowed to say whatever they want.
You know, I put myself out on the internet.
They're allowed to comment whatever they want, you know?
I can't be mad at them. But alas, I was heartbroken by this because...
I have always been... inspired to continue talking about my various struggles because I just want somebody to hear that and feel less alone in some way.
That's all I... want to gain if that's even a gain i don't need to gain anything i don't care about myself gaining some sort of likability or something from sharing my my experiences, that doesn't matter to me.
I care about somebody out there who's in pain hearing me talk about my struggles and feeling like, holy shit.
Thank God I feel like that. Thank God someone else feels like that.
And the reason why that's important to me is because I've felt that way on the internet.
I've heard other people's stories about their mental health struggles, and it's made me feel... hopeful and reassured that things are going to be okay and that I'm going to get through it.
And so that's why I want to talk about it.
So it fucking killed me. I can't imagine someone using something that serious.
And that painful... as a method to like gain likability on the internet.
That seems to me like the highest form of evil.
As somebody who has my own handful of struggles on a daily basis, So imagining somebody taking advantage of that for some sort of selfish gain to me is is foul and disgusting to me.
But they're allowed to say that. And the only thing I can do is just... look at myself in the mirror and say, Emma, you know that that's not fucking true.
So just keep on moving. And just keep on grooving and fuck it.
You know, that's one person. saying that and there's a lot of other people who you know maybe are relating to it in a truly organic way and just feeling less alone through it.
And that's all that really matters. Anywho.
But another example that is story time about me is – people constantly commenting on, That I have ADHD or ADD or some sort of... something affecting my ability to pay attention and stay focused.
I have been receiving comments trying to diagnose me with some sort of ADD, ADHD since I started on the internet.
But what's funny is I actually have been told this by people my whole life, you know? since I was young, I've had people here and there saying things to me about being ADD being ADHD.
By the way, I, I've never been diagnosed I don't know I very well could have ADD or ADHD I don't know But, you know, I went to – when I was at school, we would get tested for various –
Learning challenges such as ADD and ADHD, nothing ever came back positive for me.
I've been to the doctor for various other things.
It's never come up. And so I just have never pursued it because although I may have some of the symptoms, if you will, or some of the traits, it's not bothering me.
So I don't really feel a desire to pursue it right now.
But I will say it's been really upsetting for me being sort of diagnosed by people who don't know what they're talking about, don't know me personally because I'm like, do you think that...
You know more about me than I do and that my parents do and that my fucking doctor does.
And... all of my ex-therapists do. You know what I'm saying?
Wouldn't have somebody in my life picked up on it sooner? and also even if it is true why is that a bad thing who fucking cares like It's like, okay, yeah, I do – let's say I did have ADHD and –
Like my personality is my personality. Okay.
End of story. And if you don't, like it, you know, go watch Animal Planet or something because animals don't talk and They just move around and they swim and they climb trees and stuff.
That might be more your speed, okay? Sorry, but you get the point, okay?
I'm like... Just say you don't like my personality.
Don't try to diagnose me with something and then use that as a weapon as if like...
That's a valid weapon. You know what I mean?
It's actually like it's insulting. to people who do have ADHD trying to use that as a weapon.
That's disgusting to me. But let's say that it's true.
Let's say people on the internet were to diagnose me with something and it were to be true.
The hard thing about that would be maybe I don't want to talk about that publicly.
Maybe that's beyond my threshold of comfort.
Maybe I'm not ready to talk about that yet.
And if people are diagnosing me online and saying, hey, you have that, and it's obvious, but maybe I'm not ready to talk about it, then it's like, well, fuck, now... people just kind of told that story for me and that fucking sucks, you know?
Okay, next we must talk about... Okay, this is kind of niche.
This is a little niche. but we have to talk about it.
People who make TikToks or Instagram Reels being like, unexpected signs that you might have depression.
If you do these five things, then you are... anxious.
If you do these three things, you have an eating disorder.
If you do these five things, you're bipolar.
Holy shit, stop and shut the fuck up. People who literally are not doctors, I'm talking about random people, okay?
You go in their Instagram bio, you go in their TikTok bio.
I don't have TikTok, so I'm not really going in anyone's TikTok bios.
But... You go in somebody's bio and it's like, college student at boo-boo university, whatever.
Okay. And they're like trying to go viral by... listing common symptoms of certain mental health struggles.
And they're trying to... catch your eye in a way by being like, if you do these five things, you have this.
And then you're like, oh shit, well, now I need to watch this entire TikTok and share it to my mom to make sure. you know, so she can see this.
Cause I'm like, holy shit, mom, look, like, do I have these traits?
Like, do I have this? Do I have this? Like, am I struggling with this?
And I didn't even know it. Mom. Tell me, Dad, what?
Oh, my God. You know, like, these... People who are uneducated going on Google and like pulling random fucking facts are putting them in a TikTok, being like, if you do these five things, you are depressed.
When a diagnosis is so much more in-depth than that, it's just so... irresponsible to me, to make a TikTok like that when you're not a doctor.
You know, there are some incredible doctors, psychologists, therapists on YouTube who are licensed who are giving advice for free, those people exist.
And those people are... incredible because you know having free access to information From people who are licensed professionals, I mean, that's awesome.
So that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people who are freshmen in college and like get D's in all their classes making a TikTok like this so that they can get 10 million likes and 10 million shares and go viral by, you know... getting into people's psyches and making them wonder, wait a minute, do I have this?
That's not fucking cool. And that's why I'm being particularly mean and I'm particularly bullying them.
Just by nature, I tend to take a really neutral approach, but this is a pet peeve.
And so that's why I'm being particularly mean.
If I were to meet somebody who makes these types of videos on the street, I would say, Hey, listen, I love your shoes.
You look beautiful today. Are you a Capricorn?
Because you are giving me Capricorn energy.
I could tell from across the street. actually could probably be friends.
The last negative side of the mental health conversation last but not least, is sometimes I fear that people with the right intentions who are really open about their mental health. are not accurately portraying mental health struggles.
I don't think this is anyone's responsibility.
It's somebody's responsibility to properly portray mental health as long as they're not lying And as long as they're not making claims about mental health when they don't have – the education to do so, as long as they're sharing their own personal experience and they're being truthful. that's all we can ask from a person.
But I do wonder if just By nature, mental health struggles are misrepresented.
For example, if somebody is a daily vlogger, And they're constantly talking about their struggles with anxiety and depression, but they're not showing it.
So you hear that they're dealing with it, but you never see it.
Or when they do have the camera on and they are showing it, it's like...
Them sitting on the couch maybe looking a little tired and sounding a little sad.
But you're not seeing when they're scream crying in their bed.
You're not seeing them having a full panic attack freaking out, losing it.
You're only seeing When things are actually all right.
I don't know anyone who shows... their mental health struggles in a full 360 type of way on the internet.
But I guess my curiosity is, could this sort of... online mental health conversation, all being in past tense, be damaging in some way.
The fact that we're always talking about our mental health struggles once we've gone through them.
Not all the time, but most of the time. Sometimes I wonder if...
The way that we cherry pick the information that we share is, can sort of create this illusion that mental health struggles are easier for the influencers that we see on our phones and computers. mental health struggles are easier for them to deal with than they are for us.
Because obviously we live our full experience.
We know how we feel when we wake up in the morning.
We're with ourselves when we're having a meltdown.
We see ourselves in the mirror after we... cried for two days straight.
You know, we're with ourselves 24 seven.
Whereas when somebody is sharing their experience or filming and documenting their day-to-day life, we're not seeing that full experience.
So from... In outsiders' perspective, it's like... Shit is so fucking easy for them.
Like... They're talking about being depressed, but now they're like, at Disneyland?
Like, what the fuck? Like, why? Like, why?
And it's just because when we're watching content, we're not always filling the gaps.
You know, we don't know what happened when the camera was off in between clips.
Only they know. And so it just... paints the wrong picture in a way, on accident.
I don't think anyone's doing this on purpose.
I think it's an accident. But I will say, I think... there's something to be said for that.
And it could make people who are currently struggling, who are currently in a low point, feel discouraged that they aren't as far along as the person who they're watching online.
They're like, well... This person just said that they had a full panic attack, but now they're going to Disneyland.
Whereas me, I had a panic attack two days ago and I'm still in bed trying to recover because I'm still exhausted from that experience.
You get the idea here. Maybe it sort of sets an expectation that, for bouncing back and being a functioning human being 24-7. in a way that's unrealistic.
Because all you see in content is usually... the moments when people are strong again, they're feeling strong again.
And I wonder if that is subconsciously discouraging to people who are in a low point.
In conclusion, two things can be true at once.
The mental health conversation online and is an incredible, beautiful, life-changing thing But some of the things that make the conversation so incredible can also make it incredibly damaging. in my opinion.
But that's how most things in life are. You know, nothing is ever 100% good or 100% bad.
Okay, maybe some things are 100% bad. I don't know.
But... I think the reason why I wanted to talk about this today was if we're aware of the pitfalls of the mental health conversation, then maybe we can... avoid falling victim to them ourselves.
I think being aware of how things can be negative or how things can harm you, how things can hurt you. can actually empower you to cherry pick your experience a little bit more and manipulate your experience so that you can have a better experience.
And I try to do this with all things in life.
When something is really good in my life, I don't let that prevent me from... also finding the potential flaws and pitfalls in it as well.
And that's all I have for today, you guys.
Thank you for hanging out. I appreciate you for listening and I had so much fun with this topic.
I really enjoyed digging into it with you guys thank you again for listening I really can't thank you enough I love you all and appreciate you all so much.
You can follow Anything Goes on Twitter at AG Podcast or on Instagram at Anything Goes. you can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. taking a big sip right now even though it's 5 p.m not a good idea I try not to drink caffeine after 4 p.m., but I fail at that probably three times a week.
And then I go to bed at one in the morning and then I wake up at six and then I feel really shitty for the rest of the day.
Sue. Oh, yeah. With Chamberlain Coffee, you can get a little discount.
Use code AG15. Special code for those of you who listen, if you want to pick up some coffee or tea or fun little... coffee accessories.
That's all I have for today. I will talk to you soon.
New episodes every Thursday and Sunday So I'll see you then.
Listen, I feel bad, okay? I forgot to give you guys a forehead kiss in the last few episodes.
I'm still getting back into the routine of giving a forehead kiss to those of Now, if you don't know me, this is weird.
You're like, Emma, what's the forehead kiss?
I'm not gonna explain it. You just have to get used to it.
I'm not gonna explain it. And if you think it's weird, I don't know, go watch Teletubbies instead.
Why are you here then? Okay, if you don't want a forehead kiss, go watch Teletubbies.
I can guarantee the Teletubbies will not give you a forehead kiss.
I love you guys talk to you later.
