I imagine many of you are familiar with my internetaddiction.
Why?Well, because I talk about it all thetime.
And I imagine some of you are sick of hearing of me talk aboutit.
I understand that aswell.
However, the journey to finding healthy balance with the internet in technology at large is an ongoing journey that humanity as a whole is going through all atonce.
Don't pretend like you don't have an issue with internetaddiction.
Listen, it's different for all ofus.
Some of us are better at managing internet addiction thanothers.
But I would argue we're all in one way or another addicted to the internet and addicted to technology in a way that is not good for our well-beingoverall.
And it looks different foreveryone.
It's on different levels foreveryone.
But I think it's a universalproblem.
There's something so cringe about beinglike, come on youguys.
We've just stopped going on the internet so much when it's literally the backbone of our society at thispoint.
And it's something that we would struggle to livewithout.
And it's something that brings a lot of joy and positivity in a lot of ways aswell.
But at the sametime, it's so easy to get to a place where we're overdoingit.
We're overusingit. I'm very aware of my unhealthy tendencies with the internet and withtechnology.
And I am determined to getting to a goodplace, to getting to a balanced place that'ssustainable.
Because I've tried things that have workedtemporarily, but I've never really been able to crack itfully.
Like I tried to dopamine detox a whileago.
So basically the idea of that is that you remove all things that release dopamine in your brain in a bigway.
Like going on thephone, watchingTV, eating junkfood, and you're forced to exist in a very simpleway.
Ideally to help you build motivation to do simpler tasks that arenecessary.
Like get your work done or cook a meal for yourself or read abook.
Like it's basically hypothetically a way to retrain your brain to enjoymundane, crucial tasksmore.
And I think that there is something valuable aboutthat.
Like I definitely benefited from thatexperience, giving myself sort of a stimulationdetox.
It's definitely a controversial way of handlingthings, but I actually found value init.
However, it didn't really stick longterm, like I couldn't live in the state of dopamine detox all the time because I do need to goon.
Sorry, I don't needto, but I do want to go on social media sometimes and I do want to online shop sometimes and I do want to order food deliverysometimes.
And I do want to eat junk foodsometimes, youknow, I don't want to live in a way where there's no indulgence at all because I don't think that's healthyeither.
But after ending thedetox, I eventually went back to my oldhabits, which wasunfortunate.
A lot of the things I've tried have notstuck.
And so I'm on the journey to finding new tactics that will workbetter.
And I think I have foundone.
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Let me discuss my internet addiction and why it's such aproblem.
My internet addiction I would say exists mainly on thephone.
I would say on my computer and iPad I have a healthy balance of doing some indulgent things like onlineshopping, going onPinterest, doing things that are somewhatindulgent, but for the most part I'm good at accomplishing my tests on the computer on theiPad.
I don't get as distracted on thosedevices.
I don't tend to go on social media on thosedevices.
I don't watch as much content or consume as much content on my computer andiPad.
I tend to do most of that on myphone.
So I'm happy with my relationship with my computer and myiPad.
Those are really just for work for the mostpart.
It's the phone that really fucks up mybalance.
Numberone, because on thephone, social media is in your pocket at alltimes.
I spend way too much time on socialmedia.
I don't think it makes sense for everyone to delete social media and just completely be off ofit.
I enjoy socialmedia. There's a lot to be gained from social media for me in a lot of ways I'verealized.
I get a lot of inspiration from socialmedia, from people creating art and doing cool stuff or traveling to coolplaces.
I don't hate social media in allways.
I connect with people onit.
Someone follows me and I'mlike,oh, I actually am a fan ofthem.
That'scool. I don't really follow anyone onInstagram.
I'm going to message them and maybe we'll hang out inlike, I've met so many people throughInstagram.
There's a lot of goodthere.
However, when it's in your pocket all thetime, you end up going on it way toomuch.
I'm in line at the grocerystore.
I'm onInstagram. I'm laying in bed and instead of reading a book before I go tobed, I'm scrolling throughReels.
When it's in yourpocket, when it's on yourphone, the thing that is on your body at all timesalmost, it's very hard not to go on it all thetime.
I spend way too much time on socialmedia.
What does that do forme?
Numberone, it makes meanxious.
For somereason, the over simulation makes meanxious.
I end up doing toxic things on socialmedia.
I'll belike, what's that persondoing?
I'm going to check up on what they'redoing.
Then I start stalking people that maybe make me feel insecure about myself or I'm stalking people that are ultimately not in my life anymore and I shouldn't really be checking in on what they'redoing.
Because I kind of need them to be out of mylife.
There's a reason why they're out of mylife.
I don't really need to see what they're upto.
You know what I'msaying?
And I end up getting anxious fromthat.
Overall, it just puts me in a negativeheadspace.
I've also found that being on social media too much also makes me feelunmotivated.
I think it's because going on social media releases so much dopamine that it makes it hard to then go and do somewhat tedious tasks like do your dishes or get your work done because you've released all thisdopamine.
Now you don't have any left to release when you want to do these more mundane tasks that will be satisfying when you completethem.
But it's harder to motivate because they're not as as I've heardonline.
Dopamine, Ithink, which means like they're not as satisfying in away.
They're sosatisfying, but they're not assatisfying.
And then last but notleast, going on social media too much causes me to feel disconnected fromreality.
Like I feel weirdly dissociated when I'm on social media toomuch.
And like my brain is not existing in the realworld.
It's existing in thatworld.
Like all of the values and priorities and things that are happening on social media become what is happening in my reallife.
Instead of what's actually tangibly happening in front ofme.
Does that makesense? And it'soverwhelming.
Like when you're living in the realworld, there's much less goingon.
You're just experiencing what you and your close loved ones are experiencing and what's happening at the grocery store and what's happening at your favorite coffeeshop.
And that's kind ofit. And that's a much more relaxing and calmexistence.
When you're going on social mediaconstantly, it's always in yourpocket.
You're always onit. You end up believing that social media is real subconsciously and then you live in thatuniverse.
Whereas when you just tap in every once in a while to check in on what your loved ones are posting and what your favorite artists or creative people are doing and drop a few likes and then you getoff.
That doesn't really get in the way of yourreality.
Another thing I've noticed is that I'm constantlyoverstimulated.
Whether it's from Instagram or platforms like that or it's fromYouTube.
I also am very addicted toYouTube.
I don't really consider YouTube as socialmedia, but it is an entertainmentplatform.
I am so addicted to watchingYouTube.
I go through these phases where not a moment goes by throughout the day where I don't have a YouTube videoplaying.
It's so bizarre and it's so weird and it's sobad.
Unless I'm working and I really can't have that noiseplaying.
When I'm eatingbreakfast, when I'm eatinglunch, when I'm eatingdinner, when I'm workingout.
If I'm working out at home at least if I'm at a workoutclass, I'm not playing a YouTubevideo.
That would be veryweird, but I don't have any time to just sit in silence when I'm constantly bombarding my brain withcontent.
Listen, I learn a lot of amazing things onYouTube.
Infact, I actually consume a lot of really positivecontent.
I watch a lot of business analysisstuff.
For somereason, Ireally...
Imean, I guess it makes sense because of Chamberlain Coffee and I think that's why I'm so curious about what's happening in the world ofbusiness.
But I've learned a lot and I've genuinely found so much value in the past few years by consuming a fuck ton ofYouTube.
There's also stuff that's funny and just genuinely enjoyable toexperience.
It's not allthat,right?
But being overstimulated is bad and not ever giving your brain a moment to just wander without any othervariable.
So that's not good because a lot of my job is in some ways creative coming up with differentideas.
In order to come up with ideas and to get into that state where I'm coming up withideas, I need to be bored attimes.
I need to sit in silencesometimes.
That needs to happen frequently throughout everyday.
I need to have moments of silence in almost boredom every day while I'm saying doing chores or on a run or eating my lunch or doingwhatever.
I need moments where things are quiet or else I can't becreative.
And on top ofthat, I end up feeling disconnected from my self when I'moverstimulated.
When all of my thoughts are not my own and instead their things that I sawonline, I end up losing the impossible to explain connection that I can feel to myself when I'm the mostgrounded.
When I'mspending, youknow, multiple hours a day in dialogue withmyself, that is when I feel the most connected tomyself.
And that can only happen in moments ofsilence, in moments ofboredom.
There's a lot of things that I rely on the internet to do that I should be doing in person like onlineshopping, orderingfood, groceryshopping.
You really miss out on the experience of people when you do all these thingsonline.
But it's so easy to just belike, I'm just going to get my groceriesdelivered.
I'm just going to get dinner deliveredtonight.
I'm just going to order all this stuffonline.
On top ofthat, you tend to overdoit.
Like I feel like when I'm shopping online or consuming thingsonline, my eyes are bigger than mystomach.
Like when I'm ordering clothesonline, there's something about ordering online where I end up ordering more than what Ineed.
When I'm orderingdinner, I'll belike,oh, all these things lookgood.
I'm just going to add them all to the cart and then I postmate something and I have way too muchfood.
And obviously I eat it for leftovers and it's like not a bigdeal.
But it's just sort of wasteful and weird in away.
It'slike, why am I doingthat?
Or when I'm orderinggroceries, the opposite willhappen.
Andlike, I'll end up not discovering new things because I'm not walking through the aisles or miss out on the opportunity to be inspired to cook something because there's a piece of produce that's inseason.
And they have an abundance of them and thestore.
You know what I'msaying?
It fucks up the whole process on bothextremes.
And then with foodspecifically, ordering fooddelivery, you miss out on cooking and cooking is sodelightful.
Eating home cooked food is veryimportant.
I think at least in mylife.
And youknow, when it comes tobreakfast, brunch or lunch orwhatever, youknow, my first half of the day looks like I'm usually pretty good about making that food athome.
But when it comes todinner, I'm alwayslike,oh, I already didenough.
I'll come up with some sort of excuse to orderin.
And I miss out on so many experiences when I order foodin.
I miss out on eating at arestaurant, which I actually very muchenjoy.
I miss out on cooking and I miss out on the grocery shopping that was needed for that that could have invited a delightful humanexperience.
We really undervalue the mundane day to day sort of interactions that we have withpeople.
And those moments can be really reassuring that humanity is not so bad afterall.
For the mostpart, people tend to help each other out and be really kind andpolite.
And it's really nice to be reminded ofthat, especially when social media tends to feel the opposite ofthat.
Like nobody's really helping eachother.
There's a lot of like reallyhorrible, youknow, conversations happening at alltimes, whether it's horrible because it's mean or bullying or it's horrible because it's drama or it's horrible becauseit's, youknow, horrible events happening in theworld, whatever itis, it can make you believe that there's no good in theworld, which is nottrue.
Now, believing that there's good in the world doesn't take away from the bad in the world because that absolutely exists aswell.
And we should not turn to blind eye toit.
But we also need to remember that there is good in the world because if wedon't, I don't know how we'llsurvive.
Another piece of my internet addiction is the timewasted.
Whether it's endlessly scrolling on onlinewebsites, looking at different things to buy or it's scrolling on social media or it's watching too many YouTube videos or it'swhatever.
I waste so much time doing stuff on the internet that's pointless when I could be readingbooks, discovering new hobbies or pursuing existing hobbies or consuming things that are moreartistic, suchas, youknow, a really cool movie or documentary or TVseries, like there's so many things that I could be doing that could help me learn more about the world that could help me learn newskills.
Like there's so many more things that could be doing with my time that would improve me as aperson, but also improve my quality of life and I'm not giving myself enough time to do them because I'm on the internet all thetime.
So this internet addiction that I've been struggling with for years andyears, as I think most of ushave, has led me to some darkplaces, youknow, likereally, really bad phases of severeanxiety, really dark phasesof, youknow, depressive episodes and just overall having a sourbrain, like being on the internet too much just rots thebrain, like that's the best way to putit.
It really does rot your brain in always mental health and just perspective and lenswise, like it's just all bad when you're overdoingit.
But at the sametime, I don't want to get rid of itcompletely.
I enjoy ordering things online sometimes because it's really easy because you can just find exactly what youwant.
Like a lot of times when you go into thestore, they won't have your size or something it's easier to order thingsonline.
Yes,absolutely. It's fun to get inspiration from social media or Pinterest orwhatever.
It's fun to watch YouTube videossometimes.
It can even beeducational.
There's a lot of great in the internet and I spent a long time feeling like it was all evil that there wasno, there was no savinggrace, but I don't think that that's necessarilytrue.
And I do think that there's something about it that'smagical.
But what I've been trying to figure out is how do I take what is good with the internet and then leave behind what isbad.
How do I findbalance? Andagain, I've been searching for this for so fuckinglong, but I recently have tried somethingnew.
Okay. Now this might becontroversial.
I don'tknow. I don't know what what you will think ofthis.
But I've recently decided to have twophones.
Okay. I know this seemsextreme, but hear meout.
I just want to try it as an experiment and see how itgoes.
I noticed that having social media and shopping apps and food delivery apps and all these other things on my phone in my pocket at all times was the root of my internet addictiontruly.
And so I decided to get twophones.
Now I wouldn't have done this if being on the internet on Instagram on YouTube all the un all these things wasn't myjob.
A big part of my job is being on theinternet,right?
If I was not in a career where being on the internet madesense, I would not have donethat.
I took a slightly different approach than I would maybe recommend to somebody who is not in myposition.
However, I'm going to explain what I did first and then explain what I would recommendsecond.
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So let's start with what Idid.
So I decided to get two phones so that one phone could be my day to day phone and then one phone could be basically my socialmedia.
Bad phone basically I've named bothdevices.
One phone is named good phone and one phone is named badphone.
You know how you can name your phone or whatever I've named themath.
The goal of the two separate phones was having one phone that just has all the things I need for day to day like apps that I use forwork.
Whether it's like email apps or document apps or Dropbox or we transfer all these different work relatedapps.
And then I have obviously all of the great things that come with the iPhone such as the maps and obviously I message in FaceTime and all these differentthings.
And then I have some travel apps like you know Uber and things like Venmo and stuff like that are on there and then I have one entertainment page on my phone where I have Spotify for music and podcasts and audiobooks and stuff likethat.
And then I have the book app that comes with the iPhone and then I have a dictionary app and then I have good reads so that I can track the books that Iread.
That's pretty much it for my entertainment page all I can really do is listen to music listen to podcasts listen to audiobooks that's pretty much or I guess look up words and the dictionary fromboard.
And then last but not least I have a health page which islike.
You know all the apps for all the workout classes that I go to also the apps that I used to book reservations at restaurants and then I have Yelp that helps me find restaurants in myarea.
So it's kind of like food and health page so notice I don't have any food delivery apps I don't have any shopping apps like Amazon or whatever I don't have any that I don't even have Pinterest on this phone it's all stuff that's healthy and inspires me to get out into the world and do things there's nothing on there that makes me want to sit in scroll and then on the other phone I basically have all the things Ineed.
For social media stuff like all my different editing apps and like stuff that I used to make I don't know like even like YouTube thumbnails like all those different apps that I used to edit things I have all the social media apps on there and then I also do have food delivery apps on there as well justbecause.
Like if I'm ever home and like maybe I'm having a bunch of friends over I'll go and grab that phone and order dinner like it's not like I'm never going to order food delivery or postmates ever againlike.
Whatever but it's not on my main phone now I know what you're thinking Emma why did you need to phones for this like this is ridiculous like you can just go and use that phone whenever you want to order something on postmates or go on social media how the fuck is this going towork.
I asked myself the same thing and honestly that was a risk when I went into this you know buying two phones and how am I going to ensure that I don't abuse the secondphone.
But what I found so far is that it's actually very easy not to go use that phone and abuse it because number one I put it in an inconvenient location charging in a corner of my office like it's not in my eye line okay so I don't really think about this phone very often unless I have a like a photo to post on Instagram or something I'm not really thinking about thisphone.
The phone that's in my pocket is the phone that's like on the forefront of my mind like it's the one that I'm using and when you don't see the Instagram app when you don't see the TikTok app when you don't see the YouTube app you almost forget about it and you're working with what you have on the phone that youhave.
And so I've actually had no issues with going and abusing that phone but it has been very helpful for those moments when I'm like oh I'm going to post something on Instagram now I'm going to go and get my phone and dothis.
I don't get my phone and do that or I'm going to go I don't know like make a YouTube video public using the app instead of like using my computer like it's nice that it's there and it's just quick and easy to doit.
So it's been very helpful but I haven't abused ityet.
The other reason why I'm confident that I'm not going to abuse it is that I made this phone very challenging to use for anything other than posting on social media or I guess ordering fooddelivery.
Like I have removed all of the apps that you need for a phone like for example calling texting email maps weather I've removed all of those from the home screen so that I'm not going to end up taking this phone and like carrying itaround.
And then last but not least I now have two phone numbers one which I can give out you know more liberally I guess to people who are you know maybe just acquaintances somebody I'm not close to were like when I'm at a store and they're like hey can you give me your phone number I can give them that phonenumber.
And then I obviously have now a new phone number that's very private that only my friends and family have so on a day to day basis only my friends and family can reach out to me on this new phone that has only healthy apps onit.
And I'm not being bombarded by messages from people who I'm not really close to that was also something that you stress me out was you know constantly feeling like I needed to be available to everyone at all times that sort of been relieved by the fact that majority of people who have mynumber.
Have my old number and now my new number is reserved for people who I'm really close to everyone else gets shot to that other phone the bad phone as we callit.
And I can respond to it leisurely when I'm checking that phone once every few days I've so far really love this experience like I literally have not gone on social media like scrolled around in quite a while now like the only time I've gone on social media was because somebody was like hey you should check this out and it's just I my brain feels so much calmer and I do feel more creative I do feel more inspired I do feel more productiveand.
This doesn't feel unsustainable to me like this is the first thing that I've done where I've been like yeah I actually think I can sustain this like all of the challenges that I was experiencing with over stimulation lack of creativity lack of productivity disconnect between myself and you know my spirit and my brainand.
I felt relief from all that and I've also felt a lot more positive in general like my outlook on life has just felt so much morepositive.
And people that maybe I used to stalk on social media who I don't really know anymore not really close to anymore like not seeing what they're up to has been such a relief like such a cleansing experience is just so many great things to it and then not having food delivery on my phone I've not ordered food delivery in weeks now I don't even remember the last time I ordered food delivery I've been going out to restaurants a little bit more you know eating at places like airone.
Have like a hot bar and you know you can sit outside and have your hot bar meal I've been cooking a lot more yeah this has just been a great experience and listen again I went in extreme route by getting twophones.
I don't necessarily think that that will work for everyone I think that's excessive for some people and I completely get it and I think there's so many other ways to doit.
I just recently didn't interview with a delightful woman and I was talking to her about social media addiction and she was saying that she deletes social media apps every time like it's okay social post something on social media and then directly after delete the app and then she'll basically read download it every single time that she wants to use it I don't know if that would work for me because I would fear that I just wouldn't deleteit.
And psychologically for me I just don't think that would work but that works for her so that could work for for you possibly like another option is to use another device that you have whether that's an old iPhone or an iPad or computer even a laptop using only those devices for scrolling through social media and stuff like that and not having the app on your phone the only problem is you can't upload on Instagram using your computer like you can onlyscroll.
And then for some of you it might make sense to just delete them all together like you know what fuck it like I want to go cold turkey and I just want to not even have these things in my life anymore and I thinkthat's.
A great solution as well but either way I think removing the addicting pieces from your pocketis.
In unbelievably effective method and I think it's been the most effective method that I've tried so far I don't know I just think that my life has really become more beautifulsince.
I'm like playing board games and doing puzzles and all these things and i'm listening to a lot of music like I'm discovering a lot of new music to keep it fresh i'm discovering new podcasts and suffer at least trying to and I just think overall it's been a really great experience and I really recommend it it'sbeen.
Life changing and I feel for the first time ever I feel free like I really do feel free from theaddiction.
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Ice cream bar that's does find at retailers nationwide did I have a moment of withdrawal yes less than I expected though like I found that you know a lot of the moments when I would normally go and scroll on social media I end up just sort of sitting in silence in a way that's not really even noticeable like for example at the grocery store or at the dentist office when I'm like waiting in line or waiting for to be myturn.
A lot of times I used to go on social media in those moments I either just people watch or zone out and think about something or if I'm really like for some reason in the mood for entertainment I'll open up my book app and I love reading books on my phone it's actually very pleasant so I'd recommend that I haven't really had any withdrawals there when I'm eating I think I've had a few moments where I've been like dang it'd be nice to watch something but I'll either just eat andsilence.
Or eat while listening to music or eat while reading which is something I love doing recently like just eat and read a book I mentioned that in my last episode how much I love that so that hasn't been too bad I've definitely been getting bored when I've been working out I've been working out on my own recently I've stopped going to work out classes as often and I do a lot of solo workouts and I kind of miss watching YouTube videos while I'm doing cardio but I force myself to just listen to music and use that time tobrainstorm.
Brainstorm, various things and that's actually been very veryhelpful.
I think the thing I miss the most is actually watching YouTube all the time like constantly consuming YouTube I almost miss that more than scrolling through social media I don't really miss that asmuch.
I think that I sort of have a little fear of missing out like oh my god what's everyone posting like I want to know but then very quickly I'm like I don't need to look right now and then I get over it andforget.
So the withdrawal symptoms have like not been that bad I did have a few days especially in the beginning where I did feel like this eerie silence almost in my life like it was almost like things were too calm too quiet to the pace was almost so slow it waslike.
Jarring for me and that kind of caused me a bit of anxiety but that passed very quickly overall it's been phenomenal so listen take my experience analyze it and do what you will with it you know we're all different and what makes sense for us is all differentand.
Figure out what works for you but I definitely think that everyone could benefit from finding their method of balance when it comes to the internet and I think it's not a waste of time it's not just like you know like silly over reaction about theimpact.
The internet has it is absolutely not that I can tell you there is a sharp increase in my quality of life since I've taken the internet and removed it from my pocket I wish you luck on your journey and that's all I have for today I hope that you enjoyedthis.
And you know maybe this will be one of the last conversations I have about internet addiction because maybe this is the time that I actually get it under control what a delight that would be but we will see and I will keep you updated along the journey to stay updated with anything goes tune in Thursdays and Sundays anywhere the extreme podcasts although video is exclusively on Spotify for interviewepisodes.
Check out anything goes on social media which is ironic because I just talked about how much social media can be bad for the brain at anything goes you can find me on social media at Emma Chamberlain and you can find my coffee company at Chamberlain coffee you can also find Chamberlain coffee possibly in stores near you go to the store locator online and see where we're at we're in Walmart and target and whole foods and hopefully some other of your favorite grocerystores.
If we're not near you order us online and we'll show up straight to your door that's all I have for today thank you all for listening thank you all for hanging out I love and appreciate your time and I will talk to you verysoon.
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