Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cres podcast. I'm G-Soo and I'm Crystal.
So we have a new Gen Z word today and I think it's a fun one because it's
actually kind of like an evolution of one of our first Gen Z words and one of
those OG Gen Z words that we talked about is Riz, which you know is kind of
connected to like charisma. So this new word G-Soo actually brought today and it
is also attached to the concept of charisma. So the word is Aura. Dude Aura is so
funny and it's one of those words where I feel like once you see it and you
recognize that this new generation is using this slang you can't unsee it.
Like I've been seeing it everywhere on TikTok and the format that I've been seeing
it is usually it'll be some sort of compilation of things that make you
unattractive or attractive and then they'll gauge points based on whatever
that action is. So for example it's like if you accidentally fall asleep in
class and your head falls off your hand minus 1000 Aura. Oh my god.
Well I actually have not been seeing it use like that. For me I've just kind of
seen it being used as an alternative to vibes. Oh yeah. So like oh this person
has Aura or to be fair I haven't seen it that much on TikTok but in the few
instances that I have it's like oh like what is this Aura? I want to see like
what the actual origin is because I think you're right like there's probably
multiple ways that people are using it. It's just such a funny concept to me
that you could assign points values or even if you're saying oh someone is
really cool saying that Aura is so creative. Yeah I like it. It's very like it's
almost sophisticated. Like Riz definitely feels like slang right like it's kind
of a made-up word but Aura is like a real word and it's like oh that's like
kind of mystical. Yeah I think mystical is a regular it's spiritual. I can
almost see the person's energy transcending out of their body. So I have
found it on Know Your Meme and it says Aura is a slang term popularized online
in 2023 and 2024 often used to compliment men for their charisma or presence.
The term first grew prevalent in soccer and basketball communities on
x-slash Twitter likely due to people commending Liverpool player Van Dyke for
his Aura. Okay I don't fall soccer so I can't really comment on this. And then
it says jokes about gaining and losing Aura points also notably spread on
TikTok. In May 2024 dude you are like on the forefront of this wave. Actually you
are because you know the original way people use it and I've been only seeing it
in the latest way. That's so funny though. But you're seeing like real time.
We're still in May right now. Yeah I dedicate a lot of time to research for
this segment. Oh okay so in this origin section it says there was an article
way back from October 2020 that said Van Dyke's mistakes dude I actually don't
even know if I'm pronouncing this guy's name right but hopefully I am. Van Dyke's
mistakes can be dismissed because basically he has an Aura. I guess that's
the original article that started memes. Wow. That's interesting. You would not
think that this kind of stuff would come from a New York Times article unless
they were just using very biage that fans were using on Twitter like prior or
something. Yeah and also it's like an older article so someone like dug this up
and was like hey we should start using this word now. My only beef with this
word is I will say saying Aura is I don't know how to say it's like labor
intensive for my brain and my tongue. It just doesn't feel like my tongue goes the
right way to properly say it. Like I always want to be like hour or something.
Oh I see yeah there's too many vowels in this word. Yeah it's confusing. So this
one gets like a B rating from me. I also whenever I think of this word nowadays I
think of like the Aura ring you know the like yeah the like health tracking ring.
Yeah I think that's like the first thing that comes to mind because Aura is not
really like a super commonly used word prior to this meme. So you know once that
ring came out I was like okay that's like very notable. You know funny enough I
feel like growing up I heard the term Aura more often in Korean than in English
because I feel like when I was growing up at least people would kind of use it
a lot to talk about someone's vibes or energy whereas in the US I feel like if
we were to talk about it we would literally just use vibes and energy and not
like Aura. Yeah okay actually there is another place that I hear Aura a lot. I
don't remember if I ever mentioned this on the podcast but sometimes to go to
sleep I listen to like tarot reading videos on YouTube. So they say Aura in
there sometimes but you know it's not in the in the slang slash mean way.
You have like shifty eyes. Don't be embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed but I feel like
with no context is very strange. It's a little odd right because I'm not like
into it but usually people who make these videos have nice soothing voices
and it's like the perfect background noise because the videos are like an hour
to two hours long so I just turn it on and then listen to it and do it.
It creates the perfect aura. Exactly. Well Aura's a side we do have a pretty
interesting topic to talk about today which is decision making. We really
wanted to talk about the thoughts or elements that we use to help guide our
daily decision making whether it's big decisions or even small ones down to
what kind of clothes you're gonna wear because I feel like sometimes decision
making is an art and it is also laborious in some senses. Definitely. So let's
talk about it today. Do you think you're primarily a decision maker or a
follower? So I think I kind of vacillate in between those two things. I feel
like when I was younger I was more of a decision maker so even in a friend
group I'd be like oh let's go do this. I felt like I had stronger thoughts and
opinions maybe but going into my late 20s I've been noticing that I am more of a
decision making follower now. So I tend to default to being a support position
and let someone else make the bigger decisions. Well I think I might be kind of
the opposite of you. I want to say I was probably more of a follower when I was
younger and then maybe now I make more decisions but I think it's also like
the nature of being an adult. There's like certain decisions that you have more
power over now versus like you know people telling you what to do in the past
but if we were to think about like friend groups and stuff I'm probably still
more of a follower. Yeah it's interesting I do feel like people kind of change
and I'm sure certain time periods also affect the way we approach this as well
but I don't know I just feel like as someone who maybe used to decision-make
more often in the past there's just something so much more compelling about
being a follower because decision-making comes with a lot of responsibilities. I
feel like once you take one kind of baton even if it's as a one-time thing I
feel like it's hard to relinquish that power later on and it becomes
expectations and you know this is something that happens often in friend groups
but also in a workplace setting too so then I think as someone who used to be
more happy to make decisions I realized all the benefits that come with not
being like the one person to do all that. Well that's so true I feel like
every time I maybe like take charge in a group and make some decisions it's
like so stressful I'm always worried like oh my god did I make the right
decision is everyone going to enjoy the decision it's hard to please everyone
yeah that's kind of like the natural thought I have like oh shoot what am I
gonna do if someone pushes back yeah and I would instantly crumble. I feel like
there's been so many times where I'm like oh like this would be so fun I have
some idea and I go to rally the troops whenever I hit some sort of roadblock
like maybe one person doesn't really want to do it or this person would prefer
something else or like there's logistical things that come up I'm like why
did I choose to put myself in this position and I think as someone who has
anxious thoughts about does everyone hate me or whatever being the decision
maker easily triggers that so then I learned why put yourself in a position
where you're gonna trigger your personal anxieties right true true it's a lot
less stressful to be a follower so I commend every group decision maker out
there yes but when you do have to make these decisions do you have any like
strategies because as we discussed it's like it's kind of hard so I guess it
depends on the magnitude of what decision we're making but I'll start with
something that's bigger and maybe has more like potential consequences than
what not so I am of the philosophy that decision making should run off the
most risk of verse path and also the path of least resistance and I think
that's actually probably controversial or not controversial but I think a
lot of people would have a different philosophy where you try to go for like
optimizing profit or like optimizing gain essentially and not like minimizing
risk but I think for me and just the way my brain works I have to before
making a decision run through every single potential scenario in my head and
then that's what helps me guide my decision making I think sometimes it's
positive in the sense that I can really start to prepare for everything that
could potentially happen at least within my knowledge and then it makes me make
a more nuanced decision versus just like I want to do this I'm gonna do it but
I think on the flip side it might mean that I don't necessarily challenge
myself if I'm always going on the path of least resistance or the most risk
of verse path so I think there's pros and cons but at the end of the day I
think I just can't make a big decision without literally running through
like the SWOT analysis of strengths weaknesses opportunities and threats of
the decision. Interesting but what if it's like the path of least resistance is
significantly less gain I mean it's like weighted right it's not like each
thing is equal so if there's something to gain and it's not too much resistance
I feel like it's still definitely worth pursuing but I feel like to me it has to
feel like a balanced decision like I'm not gonna just go chasing for the most
high margin thing if the other factors don't make sense either. Yeah I think
that makes a lot of sense I'm trying to think if I have a lot of analysis in my
decision making but I feel like sometimes I'm just like oh I need to do this
I'll just do it but it also depends because if it's like something you don't
want to do then I'm kind of like do I really need to do it can I put it off
for longer but I think there are definitely moments where I don't think about
it I just like go for it but I think those are usually like smaller decisions
because you're right usually if it's like something bigger there's definitely
some planning or like pre-thought to it so sometimes if it's like medium I'll
have pre-thought it like okay tomorrow I need to do this and like these are the
necessary steps just very generally from their kind of just like take
action. Dude yeah I always find it funny because you and I have very different
approaches to decision making and I feel like a really stark example in my eyes
is New York so I remember when you had initially told me you were gonna move to
New York. Me and James spent some time around a similar time period wondering if
like we should move to New York as well. I think you decided you were kind of
like thinking about it and then you decided in a really really short period of
time and you were like yeah I'm just gonna do it I might have this friend check
out some of the places there but I think I'm literally just gonna like go and do
it versus for me I ran like a whole almost like a multiple scenarios of like
okay for my five-year plan if I were to move to New York how far would that
push out our home buying process or how much would that set us back savings
wise and what's the opportunity cost like what am I gaining and what am I
losing from moving to New York so you can see in our decisions you clearly
moved to New York I you know thought about it with James rent of the numbers
decided it did not make sense for me and James and our lifestyle I just find
it so funny like the contrast of like my spreadsheets and then you're like
yeah I'm gonna move and I'm gonna book like a moving pod not to make light of
your decision but it's just like the purchase lately different no that's so
true because a lot of the analysis that you just described that you went
through happened after for me like once I moved back from New York I was like oh
yeah I guess like this kind of pushed some of these general timeline back and
then I was like oh well well you know it's already done so this is just like now
true so I feel like it's funny because honestly running all the numbers and
doing the analysis does have strong benefits and it's like soothing for me as a
person but then also I feel like if you go and you do it and you come back and
you know you are maybe like one or two years away from your goal or whatever doesn't
really matter that significantly you know so then I think sometimes there is a
trap if you're like a very anxious and like analytical person of falling into
analysis paralysis and then just being unable to move forward or make progress
in any decision dude I feel that but also when you were thinking about that like
you know New York decision it was you and James so I feel like when it's two people
and you have like a unit timeline to consider it's a lot more to think about for
me I was like okay well I have like not much to lose just like just me out here
and I think there were some pros that ultimately were like unique to me as
well that helped push the decision but I totally get the analysis paralysis thing
a lot the number one example I can think of is sometimes and this
having a lot back in college dinner time would be coming up and I'd be like
okay wish I eat for dinner don't feel like cooking today because back in
college I like never cooked so I you know sit down pull out my phone and like
start scrolling through Yelp or like Google Maps or something just like
scrolling through all of the different food options and the craziest part is
like we lived in the same place for like the whole time that we were in school
it's like generally the same area so you know I knew everything that was around
this yeah I'm still mindlessly scrolling through this list taking forever to
think about what to eat and then the next thing I know I'm like oh shit it's
like 10 everything's closed I guess I'll just eat some bread and go to sleep
oh my god that actually reminds me of something that I feel like I learned so
late into my life but I think it's kind of obvious which is there are certain
times you should be decision making and certain times that you should not be
using that frame I feel like the biggest example like you said is choosing food
and whatnot so if I leave all of like my weeknight meal decision making for six
p.m. after I'm done with work that day I am eating out like I am doorknashing
there's no way I'm able to make that decision but if I meal plan sort of ahead
and I like have my grocery list set out and everything kind of ticks and ties
to like okay Monday I'll eat this Tuesday I'll eat that it's so much easier to do
that and I was like I can't trust evening me I can only trust like Sunday me you
know like after work us is just a different different breed I know I feel like
same goes for like morning me sometimes to outfits for example I notice that if
I don't set out an outfit even if it's just like something really simple
nothing crazy right but if I don't set out like a work day outfit the night
before in the morning it'll take me like twice as long to pick even though
I still probably pick the same outfit dude sometimes when that happens and I'm in a
rush I'm like fuck I'm just gonna wear all black today
it's the good too yeah it's kind of like that saying right where people say like
you can't you can't grocery shop when you're hungry you can't shop with an empty
stomach right right and I feel like that's so true I think that happens a lot
especially if you're like door dashing something or you know ordering
something and you're like oh I'm Hello Hungry let me just you know order you
know this this extra side that sounds hello good right now then it comes
you're like wait I can only a half of this food you're like who let me order
all that and then the worst part is when like the food arrives your delivery
person put like two sets of utensils in there and you're like oh yeah they were
right and I was wrong this is like why I think all the hot tips about decision
making come in in your late 20s because I have let myself down many a times
with poor decision making agreed I am also although speaking of food I
remember you mentioned before that like at work sometimes you have to choose
the meal for your team what you've started doing is you narrow it down to like
two or three decisions and then you make everyone else kind of vote or like
make the final decision and I feel like that is such a good middle ground that
way you can save yourself from like making the final most stressful part of the
decision and you also get everyone else involved dude I've been like
musing about that recently though because I think the specifics and are you
that I mentioned that one time is in a workplace like corkers going out for
lunch kind of setting but this kind of stuff happens with friends too whether
it's one-on-one or in friend groups and I feel like because we're all just so
labored with making decisions from nine to five like for a company every day
I feel like not a lot of people want to do the decision making anymore and I
realize that sometimes it is just kind of easier to be like I want to try this
place does it sound good instead of like doing the back and forth because that
way if they don't want to eat it they'll just be like maybe not feeling this
place if as long as they're comfortable saying that kind of stuff and if they
don't really care then you like chose something for them and then now they can
just go there so I don't know I feel like you have to know your audience because
I've had both strategies like not work depending on the person dang have you ever
offered a few things and then someone's just like I don't want any of that I
feel like usually it's like oh they all look good oh like what do you want to
eat and I'm like oh I already sent you the three places that I want to eat
at but I think it's just you know comes with having people around you who are
super nice and like they want you to feel comfortable and whatever they're
like yeah you just choose except you're like I don't want to choose that's like
the most painful sentence to hear I know oh but also like speaking of crowdsourcing
decisions one funny thing that happens in our group chat sometimes is someone
will be like hey wish I eat tonight or like wish I cook tonight people actually
seriously respond yeah it's so funny the funny ones are like hey guys should I
eat Chipotle tonight and then it's like resounding yes from everyone dude I know
that should is hello funny I'm in this other group chat too and sometimes if I
really can't make a decision I'll make like a poll and this group chat is only
two other people so it's hello funny because I'll just make a poll and be like
should I eat a brownie or should I not we were back on the brownie example
wait what do you mean you talked about brownies in the honeymoon episode I think
only two things in my brain are brownies and people next time I see you all
bring some brownies wait but also if the group chat is only three people does
that ever mean that you have to tie break for your own decision dude yeah I'm
always like this is so useless to make a poll in a group chat of three people and
you are the third person back to square one oh my god we've all so I think it's
funny when there's like a poll made for a group but then everyone's waiting for
the first person to make like the first decision and then they're like okay
now I can put in my vote oh my god or when it's like oh we should hang out what
weekend is everyone free and then the votes exactly split like half half and
it's just like okay now I have to choose which group of people but I want to hang out
like now it's actually worse because I have the knowledge the info ignorance is
bliss true they should really create a way to outsource this like date
choosing maybe even just a site where it's like hey I want to have an event in
May can you give me a random weekend dude but speaking of RNG and like
flipping a coin and stuff like that for Miami when we went to do our joint
bachelor in bachelor at James and I thought that would be hello funny to make a
coin where one side says James and one side says G-Soo so sometimes we
actually use it if we're like oh I want winged off but he wants to put
lay will like flip the coin and see oh my god wait that's genius do you ever
reroll or reflip I'm like I don't like this result you're like best out of five dude
yeah James is like very much okay no fuck this like best of
and oh we just keep rolling and then next thing you know it's 10 p.m. you're like
oh they're both closed time to sleep the crystal method yeah but honestly the
crowdsourcing thing I sometimes do wonder if it is a result of people just
having decision-making fatigue now because I've been noticing it slightly more
often I think it does allude to the fact that decision-making is hard and
it's definitely hard for different reasons for everyone so I guess what do
you think is the hardest for you about making a decision honestly I think lately
what I've really been noticing is like there's too many options in everything in
life right so food there's like so many different restaurants around us that
we have access to or like even shopping you know before maybe there was one
company that did one thing for example this one company sold webcams and
they're like good but now it's like there's so many if you just do a quick
search you get like pages and pages of basically the same product at varying
price ranges and then you're just like oh my god like what do I do how do I
know which one's good and which one's like vetted or not vetted or if this
really cheap one will work out well or if I just like drop the extra money to
get this like more expensive one and I feel like all of that is just like I
don't know I guess it's like kind of you know the result of a capitalist society
right and so we end up just with like hell of options and then that results in a
lot of decision paralysis that's a really good point what I've been noticing
lately too is I don't know if it's just the way the TikTok algorithm works or
just how we've evolved as a society under like all these different options
that look so shiny and new to us but I feel like every time I'm scrolling down
TikTok there's like oh here's what you're doing wrong about credit card points
like here's what you're doing wrong about booking this fly and like there's
all these secret tips and tricks because there's so much information out
there and now I feel like I can't make a decision as easy as like what credit
card should I open or like when should I book this light because everyone
left and right is claiming that they have like the hot new tech and I feel like
it gives you like almost like a sense of FOMO you know because before back in
my parents days I'm sure they also had tips and tricks and stuff but it was
probably kind of like if you know you know that if not known it's gonna be like
oh why'd you get that thing or like why'd you book that one well I think it's
more just like oh you know the default is everyone does it the standard way
and maybe some people know it the other way but now I'm just kind of like
there's too much information out there and the way it's being presented is like
in a almost judgmental manner that also makes me not want to like decide
anything yeah it's kind of like what we said earlier where we ask everyone like
hey which weekend are you free and then we're like oh shoot now I have too much
information because now the decision making feels bad because I know I'm gonna
exclude someone it's almost like that right it's like oh shoot now I have so much
information it's actually harder to make the decision yeah that's definitely true
I feel like it's also intimidating too you're like faced with this plethora of
info and it's like I'm very grateful to have this accessible but the same time
it's like I have to comb through all of this after spending energy and time to
learn it all then I have to make another decision I know and I feel like also
with social media and just you know not everyone posts often on Instagram
stories or whatever but I feel like a lot of people do post on the daily I
feel like you just see so much of what someone does every day even if you're not
the type of person to let it affect you like I feel like you still kind of
think about it sometimes and it just feels like my brain is being like overloaded
all the time yeah and I feel like that just results in feelings of being
overwhelmed personally if I'm overwhelmed whether I realize it or not I just
end up like lying in bed I know I think I feel the hardest to when say on one
day I have multiple important tasks to do and all of them are like at least in
my eyes weighted equally I feel like I just can't choose which one to do first
and then that means I just don't do any of them dude yeah as people say the
hardest part is to start true I actually saw this one like I think it was a
TikTok and it's not quite like decision making but it kind of reminds me of
what we've been talking about basically the woman was saying like oh I'm tired
of always getting ready for stuff she listed out like a bunch of things that we
get ready for that I like didn't even realize we get ready for so she was
saying like I have to you know wake up and get ready for the day so you know
like wash your face brush your teeth put on your face all that kind of stuff and
then like get ready to like go to the office packing up all your stuff get
ready to eat lunch you know you have to like pack your lunch if you do that or
make the decision of like where to go eat get ready to like just leave the
house is like a whole thing in itself to like making sure you have everything
and then the one that like shook me to my core was like getting ready for bed
like you have to get ready to go to bed right that's crazy right how much of
our daily life is just transition timing like we're waiting to do something
you know yeah and it's all just like in a sense it's kind of like decision
making it's like oh well if I'm gonna make the decision to like leave the house
I have to get ready to do that and it's like kind of tied to what we're talking
about early like planning to like get this thing done and then kind of also
thinking about what comes after that too I'm like whoa we do a lot I think
another theory that I have is I guess even using something like a smartphone
you're just making so many decisions constantly and I've been noticing this
lately and it's starting to freak me out a little bit because I feel like I'm
truly having a phone addiction moment but sometimes I will unlock my phone and
then mindlessly open and close each app like you know how you like it wake up in
the morning you're like okay check mail like at your text like at your
messenger and then scroll through your TikTok a little bit and get up or
whatever like there's some sort of routine right I noticed that sometimes if
I'm really like brain off I'll be looping through it so like I'll open mail
again or like I'll open TikTok close it and be like oh look at something else
like at that and I go back to TikTok and I'm like wait I was just on this and
even though these things are like split second decision making and it's like
probably more so muscle memory that it is like active decision making I think
maybe your brain would probably count that as like a half-seize decision or
something and maybe that's why at 5 p.m. I'm like I can't choose one to eat like
I don't know what to do I've definitely felt that too when you're just like
autopilating and you're like wait I need to go do something and then you're like
okay let me get up and they're like oh wait why am I back here on my phone
right well besides these more difficult moments of decision making and I guess
like finding activation energy is there anything that you know for sure is like
a quick and easy decision for you you're like no I'm like really
raccuing my brain what about like liking a video whoa do you like videos no
oh I guess that decision is easy oh you don't like videos too no wait that's so
cool because one time I saw someone scrolling through like reels or TikTok
or something they're like scroll double tap scroll scroll double tap and I was
like whoa you like videos and then they're like oh you don't I was like no it's
like against my values I just cannot if I accidentally hit like I will
unlike and then if I'm like scrolling through the comments and I accidentally
like thumbs up or thumbs down someone's comment I will immediately fix that
to back to neutral like same with Reddit for example or like YouTube like I
never like videos or comments or anything like that if I do I like
immediately undo it okay I think that's actually very similar to James he
has like a zero like policy if you go on his profile he wants to make sure that
it says zero under like like videos but for me I'm more flexible but it's very
rare that all like stuff like I'll only give it to the people who really
did I'm like this is so fucking fire like you deserve a like so that is a
decision you make I guess that's true and it feels more intuitive maybe because it
feels like hard it and not any substance or consequences I guess the other
thing that I do find easy to make in terms of decisions is with social
situations I think for the most part if someone is visiting from out of town
and wants to catch up or you're just like seeing someone you haven't seen in a
long time etc I think I'm always more than happy to do that the only difficult
part about that era of decision making is the scheduling aspect but I feel like
in terms of wanting to go and see that person my mind is always down I'm always
like yay nice I think a quick and easy decision for me is if I'm craving
something food wise if I know I like really want to eat something I will make it
a mission to do it to succeed I feel like similarly to if I have a recipe I
really want to try out I'm like I will go and get this and like make this this
weekend something like that yeah I guess like the thing about like these easier
or quick decisions for me is like the gain is so high that the loss is like
negligible so I guess that you know for example like if you're craving a
certain food it's like okay well I have to like get ready to get out but
honestly that's nothing in comparison to like the satisfaction of like you
know satisfying that craving right and I think this can kind of be applied to
other areas in life too but maybe not as like obviously but I think at work on
average I'm like not a huge decision maker one because I am on like the lower
end of the management chain so usually I don't really have to make that many
decisions in terms of I don't know I guess like managing or like time
managing that kind of stuff other than for like literally just myself but what
I've started to kind of realize is that if you step up and like take control I
guess of a meeting for example it's actually very empowering you have a lot
to gain from it so as an example I had this like a meeting for a check-in for a
project that I was working on it's like a really big project so it's taking kind
of a long time and I was like oh shoot this meeting low key is like too early so
I moved it and I just said like hey I need just an extra day to like get this
state that I think is ready to show you all and there's like no complaints
that okay cool and then when the actual meeting came up to I think in my
personal mind I was like oh shoot this isn't as like I guess quote-unquote perfect
as I would want it to be so I made the decision to basically like take
control of the meeting so I would like open up the meeting by saying like oh you
know I've been kind of busy so some of these parts are like a little more
rough around the edges but they should be able to give us all like a good idea
of what the next step will look like and then I have like these three points
for us to look through and discuss and I think like before that meeting I had
felt a lot of anxiety because I guess aside of me didn't think what I was
showing was like as good as it could be but after like taking control of that
meeting everything just went so smoothly and I was like wait why was I
nervous about this like everything was totally fine when I love that I think
you're totally right in that sometimes it feels so much more scary to make the
decision but once you do there's just a net positive and the scary part about
that is that it's never like a guarantee that it'll be positive but sometimes I
think about how on the daily especially in a workplace setting you are subject
to everyone else's decisions that they're making on the daily and I feel like
when I see an email come through that's like hey sorry I need to push this
meeting out due to schedule conflict whatever I'm never like really thinking
that deep into it I'm like oh yeah sure it makes sense I can make this time but
for some reason when I'm the one who has to reschedule I'm like trembling
hands I'm like damn hopefully this doesn't negatively impact someone too much
etc I feel like it's one of those things where I'm so used to and taking
other people's decisions and then when it comes to making my own decisions I
have to give myself that same level of grace that I give other people true and
usually I think there's a level of understanding like don't reschedule
meeting like 10 minutes before ideally but you know basically like showing that
you have control over what is happening I think puts everyone else at ease
even if you're just like making it up so you know I think fake it till you make
it is very true in this instance you're just like hey you know this had to be
moved there's like no other option it's highly unlikely that people are gonna
be like no unless you like disregarded other people's schedule and timing by
like moving the meeting to some time that they couldn't make or changing the
meeting super last minute that kind of stuff so I feel like if anything it's
like a relief for other people when you make decisions yeah and I feel like
the workplace is a really good environment to see how your decisions affect
other people and things like that because I think at the end of the day that's
like such a big part of why decision-making can be hard like making a decision
that just impacts you feels a little bit more and consequential but when it
comes to making a decision that loops in a lot of other people besides just
yourself I feel like that's when the pressure starts to feel a little bit more
real whether it's something as petty as oh where should we eat lunch together
or lunch or sometimes it it truly is bigger decisions that affect other
people's lives and I feel like this is also really evident in like smaller
groups so for example like you're immediate family or if you're in a
relationship if one person is always making the decisions there's bound to be
some like friction there I think for sure because I mean decision-making is
emotional labor right like there's a lot of optimizing and like minimizing this
and maximizing that that you have to do before you do the decision I mean
granted not every decision is that deep and not everyone gives each decision
that much thought but it still is something that you have to action and choose
for the group so then I can totally see I mean the easiest example is if in a
friend group it's always just one person asking to hang out I feel like that
make someone burnt out so quickly and similarly in a relationship if one
person is always getting tasked with making the decision I feel like it can
definitely lead to resentment on the road yeah definitely and I think a big
lesson that I've learned as we've gotten more and more sentient as real people
is that you can't always be a follower you have there are like moments where
you definitely need to step up and I think interestingly I feel like there is a
way to be neutral but I feel like you can't word things in a follower manner
and the specific thing I'm thinking about is like you have the age old question of
oh what should we eat tonight I feel like what should we eat tonight is fairly
neutral but you can word that same question into what do you want to eat for
dinner and then I feel like it becomes very follower-esque and kind of like
putting that load on that other person so it's really subtle in terms of like
word choice but I feel like if you hear oh what do you want to eat for dinner
like over and over and over again I feel like it does kind of drive you crazy
a little bit oh yeah you're like oh why is it always me deciding yeah I'm like
what the fuck do you want to eat for dinner you're like Marley always eating what I
want to eat what if I want you and you have any opinions it's so funny too
because I feel like service level it's like harmless yeah and I mean it is
really harmless and you can even frame it as oh this person is so considerate
like they always want to know what I want to eat but you know in the active adult
world I feel like it does become a burden that you have to carry yeah for sure
and it's kind of like you said right it's a totally harmless phrase but if you
were to hear it repeatedly you start to notice it you're like hmm that is yet
another decision you have to make how to word your question to the other person
I guess we are just doomed to continuously make decisions for the rest of our
lives but I do think it's always helpful to have other people weigh in a
little bit in any way that they can to lighten the load of these decisions so I
feel like it was pretty interesting to talk about like the different areas in
life that have a lot of heavy decision making that we experience thanks to
Sue for chatting with me about decision making and for our listeners out
there if you have any strategies for decision making let us know we have
Instagram at Eat Your Custod and we also have email eatyourcustod at gmail.com
and if you'd like to catch our other episodes then don't forget to follow us on
Spotify Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts we upload new episodes
every Wednesday morning thanks for listening and don't forget to eat your
custod.
