Hey weirdos, Elena here. If you're looking to kick back and relax with Morbid, Wondery Plus is the way to go. it's like having a cozy seat in our haunted mansion no ads just you and early access to new episodes You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or in Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
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I have been listening to the Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club, which actually Elena recommended to me.
She did not listen to it, but she said, girl, this title sounds so you.
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Hey, weirdos. I'm Elena. I'm Ash. And this is Morbid.
🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Thank you. And it's Listener Tales brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you.
I fucking love listener tales. I love listener tales.
And they are getting better and better and better each time.
I swear. I swear. They really are. It's so fun.
You guys just keep providing. You guys just get it.
Sorry. You get it. I was cleaning my glasses and then I bonked the arm of my glasses on the microphone.
So there was probably a little clinkety clank.
Tink. Anytime you hear any background noise in the episode, my apologies.
Oh, look at that. was my fault again that was actually good look it was me but it's always me the background noise You know what, though?
We have to quickly do another shout out to Deborah for...
Being amazing and organizing our listener tales for us because she is a, she's an MVP.
Like a straight up hero. And what's cool is she's organizing these into episodes for us, which is amazing and so helpful.
Yeah. And we don't see them until we read them here.
So then it's like live react. Yeah, it's a little more fun, a little more on the spot here.
So Deb Deb really said, you could use a hero right now.
I could use someone to save. That's Deb Deb.
And then we said someone like me. You know what I mean?
Oh, I know what you mean. You know what I mean?
Elena brought that whole ass band into my life.
I did. I did. All right. All right. With that being said...
Do you want to start or do you want me to start?
Let's see. What have we got? How about you start?
Oh, I'm starting? Okay. Oh, I'm starting?
Oh, you're starting. All right. This first one is called patrol pair reduced to scaredy cops i love it and the listener would like to stay anonymous anonymous It says, hello, for legal reasons, I changed the names in this stories, one to save myself from embarrassment and two so that my department sees through me and moves me back to that zone amazing all right cool I feel as if my eyes Excuse me, I feel as if my own eyes will get stuck in an eye roll because it hurts my soul.
Hearing the negativity around police work and the work they do makes it extremely difficult to do my job, but also it's valid.
I can only show that I'm a good one through pushing through stereotypes and continuing to educate myself.
Good for you, man. I know, that's like big.
That's like really big to admit that like it is a very real problem, but like...
The only way to change things is one, to change things and two, to show that you are a good one.
Exactly. So it says I'm going to jump right into it.
However, keep doing what you're doing. It really does help those of us on the road keep our minds open to the possibilities of being wrong, and to take every call as seriously as the last.
We are who people can call on their worst day of their lives, and that's our everyday.
Wow. I love you. Wow. We need like all of you.
We need you on every department. Ever. Multiplied times a million.
Let's just multiply you. Yeah. So as I said, for legal reasons, my name is Jane and my partner's name is John.
We are the face of our department as the, quote, progressive patrol pair. unquote and and they stressed like please say quotes because these are not my words As I am a white woman and my partner a black man.
Progressive patrol pair. Oh, the fact that they say that, like, come on.
Ugh. They're usually put on high profile calls so that the department can dote around saying, oh, look how inclusive we are.
Wow. That's so fucked up. Usually John and I will roll our eyes and refuse to comment and let our PIO or public information officer deal with questions.
During the Black Lives Matter movements, we were often placed on crowd control duty, with the department's goal of bridging a gap between the public and police.
Department used inclusion. Not effective.
John and I are very different. John is very practical and likes to remind me that I can be a little bit emotional, but sue me.
We have a hard job and sometimes I take it to heart, but John makes sure we talk about things before we end the shift so that I don't take it home with me.
That's a good relationship right there. What a supportive partner.
Wow, that's a great partner. We balance each other out.
Me, basic white girl with my PSL enjoyment and constant snacks and John with his heavy size and wishing he had a normal partner.
John also likes scary movies, which makes him a bit jumpy. but he also likes to scare me and uses the stereotypical, you die in a movie first line, which like...
He's not wrong, but I have him, so I'll live.
I'm literally obsessed with the two of you being partners in this.
You guys are the cutest. I love this. You need to have your own show.
Oh, how great would that be? Even like based on like the two paragraphs I've read, I'm like, yeah, let's get a pilot.
I gotta see it. So this particular night, my partner and I got a call to one of the more historic buildings in our zone.
It was built sometime in the early 1900s and is still used for its intended purpose, a theater.
It's known for break ins, usually around Halloween from high schoolers and college kids, because like most old buildings, it do be spooky.
Many a call has been from... Excuse me. Many a call has been from faculty wiring setting...
Yeah. What did I say? Faculty? Oh my goodness.
Many a call has been from faulty wiring, setting off alarms, trespass, And honestly, even strong wind causing issues in this poor insulated building, poor decrepit building.
Aw, poor thing. Naturally, the call for service went out at the witching hour, 3am. and in October.
Amazing. The motion sensor on the commonly broken into second floor that had a tree that kids thought they were clever to use to break in was activated.
And with the old creaky original doors on the theater, they weren't known to be necessarily reliable either.
We arrived on the scene and the door wasn't disturbed, but we still had the building contact show up and open it up.
We made her stay in her car with the doors locked and the lights off while we went in.
She was used to these calls and said she should just move into the theater because she might get more sleep in that case.
That sucks. John and I began searching the first floor.
One of the first things they teach us at the police academy is complacency kills.
So we treat it as if it's a break in. We both have our guns at the low and ready, so not pointed straight out, but titled down, braced against our chests with our flashlights and our non-dominant hand.
It leaves us in the position to quickly push out with our gun hand if necessary, but not flag anybody with a loaded gun.
That's smart. That is smart. We began on the first floor, one officer contact and one cover.
I was cover whilst John took the lead. We finished searching the first floor, then began to go up the stairs.
Now the stairs. It is your typical 1900s staircase, a grand staircase with two sides leading up to the second floor.
The second floor is where people would enter into the theater and into their seats and We choose to go up to the staircase to the right as the motion sensor that had been tripped was on that side of the theater.
The theater's upper level is divided into the entrance and the theater... Oh my goodness.
The theater's upper level is divided into the entrance to the theater and a circular hallway that has offices but loops back into this giant foyer area that the stairs dump out at.
John is going up the staircase while I'm going up sideways to keep an eye on our backs.
I have one hand tucked onto the back of John's belt, so i can feel each stair as we go up and the other is still holding my firearm I'm watching the first floor as we're going up to make sure no one tries to sneak up on us as we ascend, when suddenly John stops walking up the stairs.
Me, what's up? John, I saw someone dart down the hallway. me confused, why aren't you giving them commands or chasing them?
John, well, you know how horror movies happen?
Me. John, this isn't a horror movie. We're the real police and you have to go follow that person.
John, yeah, but I don't feel good about this.
My ancestors are telling me not to chase them.
I'm... Obsessed with you two. I can't stop.
My ancestors are telling me not to chase them.
Me. The law says otherwise. I'm screaming.
You need a show. You need it. You need one.
John finally gets moving and we reach the top of the staircase.
John swings in the direction he saw someone when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. i tell john i see someone but he's already down the hall a chill goes down my spine but in the normal white person in a horror movie fashion I ignore it.
Of course. Since the hallway is circular, I make sure to put out on the radio to John that I'm coming around the other side and someone is heading his way.
He keys up and acknowledges me, and we begin to work towards each other.
As I make a turn, I see a figure standing near the sensor that went off. make out any distinguishing features, which is weird because the moon is full and lighting the whole hallway.
I get chills and begin to believe John and his ancestral warning that I would in fact die in a horror movie.
I began with the normal police commands, put your hands where I can see them, when they turn and ran down the hall toward where John would be coming from.
When I say it ran, it flew. Like I can't even begin to describe how quickly it moved without making a single noise.
I'm worried for you. I am so worried for you.
I was creeped the fuck out. But I'm the police.
I'm an army veteran. Hell yeah. Mama didn't raise no bitch.
I'm obsessed with you. I broke out into a run when I ran.
I just can't stop laughing. Mama didn't raise no bitch.
I want to meet the two of you so bad right now.
I need to. Man, I have pictures in my head and I need to know if it matches.
Right. I broke out into a run when I ran headlong into my partner around the curve of the hallway.
We crashed to the floor as unceremoniously as two police with their guns, flashlights, and all their equipment might appear.
This is amazing. It was not unlike turtles flipping onto their backs, unable to get up.
Amazing. John said he saw someone running my way and I said the same thing.
We looked at each other and decided to nope on out of there.
Another unit had showed up since it was a big building and we heard them from where we were coming in. and calling for us on the radio.
We quickly unfucked ourselves. searching without closing our brush with a dark figure that led us straight to at each other we never found anyone inside the theater john still gives me to this very day about how I would die in a horror movie, and I always recant that he'd die with me because he's my partner.
There you go. I forgot to mention that the week before, I had been called out to the theater for a costume designer falling off a ladder and bleeding massively from the head.
Oh, that's horrific. If anyone knows about head wounds, they know they bleed a lot for dramatic effect, but they can be serious.
Ooh, I hate that. She had been on a ladder putting costumes away on the tallest hanging rack, which was Oh, it was about 15 feet off the floor when suddenly she felt someone's hand on her shoulder pushing her.
For a split second, she had forgotten that she was on a ladder, took a step to the side because of the force from the push and ended up falling.
Wow. I had chalked it up to a costume swinging when she hung another one up.
With costumes being all shapes and sizes, one was bound to have moved while she was moving things.
Yeah, that'll do. She definitely had a concussion and I made sure to hold her head closed while she was ranting about the push.
John and I had a conversation with our eyes at each other over the top of her head, agreeing that there was no way someone pushed her. and made sure she got on the ambulance for care.
Later, John told me he never heard my radio chatter about coming around the bend that night. and never acknowledged me on the radio either.
When I say I got full body chills, I got full body chills what was that and like how did it block you from like hearing each other And it was fucking with you because like it you saw it running toward each of you in like a different direction.
It was trying to like make you run to help the other person right scare the shit out of you so spooky yeah We called 10-8, which is back in service and vowed never to take their call again.
One time a call for service went out and we were dispatched, but we do but we have a code for when someone is on the shitter.
And we called that out and another unit picked it up.
Expert times and all. I feel you. We did end up being moved to a higher call area not long after, so avoiding that building was soon a thing of the past.
So stay weird, but not so weird that you discount your partner's ancestral warning about the spookies in a building.
And remember that you're part of a population that gets killed off in horror movies first for a reason. that's right PS if you guys ever want a police officer on an episode or want some insight on why some things might happen in a certain way I would love to help out I don't know all laws across all states, but overarching themes in law enforcement are unanimous.
That's amazing. Just put it in the back of my head.
Put that in the back of my head too. Thank you.
PPS, I do want to put out there that there are a lot of good officers on the road.
When I went to the police academy, there were a lot of like-minded people like me who want to change the narrative. policing is a constant battle and the battle happens within i have plenty of good tales and some bad from within the ranks.
However, I will leave you with this. Good cops are on the rise and are getting rid of the bad ones.
We won't stand for it. The us versus them mentality that was prevalent in old policing isn't how things are done. and a lot of good people are out there fighting the good fight.
I'll be submitting another tale in the future about what my department did that ended up getting me to quit the road and pursue my education to make changes on a policy level.
Hell yeah. No tolerating the bullshit. Let's get to it on the larger scale so that no one can hide.
Keep doing what you're doing. I'm so sorry this was so long.
I appreciate your time and your podcast.
Um, you keep doing what you're doing. For real.
Never be so sorry that it's long and we appreciate you and all your service.
And the fact that you're sitting there being like, we're not going to stand for it and we're going to change things.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Because that needs to be done. you're doing it.
Yeah. Hell yeah. Thank you. That's amazing.
That really is. And I'm just, I'm so obsessed.
With the two of you. I need a show. I need a show.
I was watching it like a movie in my head.
Like I could see this theater. I could see the moonlight lighting up the hallway.
I saw them bang into each other and fall down on the floor.
And like going up the stairs. I was like, hooray. hand is like in his like back like holding on to him i was so into it i love it Oh, I'm so into it, man.
Alright, let's get into the next one. Thank you so much for that.
So this next one is called, The Time I Got Fucking Assed Out by a Goddamn Murderer.
Amazing. There it is. And we got a put-a-fa.
A put-a-fa? Hey, weirdos. Standard greeting.
Love the podcast and your humor. It gives me something to listen to while I drive my infant daughter to and from daycare every morning.
Too young? Nah. Elena can appreciate that.
I love that. Anyway, I'll get right into it.
I went to college at the University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri from 2007 to 2011.
While being buried in student loan debt, I decided I should probably stop watching Sex and the City reruns while not studying and get myself a job at the beginning of my sophomore year. year.
Isn't that like the worst realization that you can't watch Sex and the City all day and you do have to get a job?
Always. Everyone's had that realization.
Right. I started working at a local chain restaurant whose name I won't mention.
Hint, think two for 20. Not because I have allegiance or anything honorable like that, but because they employed some pretty shady characters.
Oh, man. When I was a junior or senior, who the fuck? knows this was like 12 years ago i feel you i never know like what time period i was what I love saying the other day because that could mean anything from two days ago to three years ago.
A new cook started there at the restaurant.
This wasn't unusual since restaurants in college towns have insanely high turnover rates.
We will call this guy Greg, and he was extremely off-putting and very odd.
He was one of those people that just made you feel repulsed if he got close to you for fear he hadn't showered in weeks.
And he always looked dirty. His favorite thing to do was to be inappropriate. was to be an inappropriate fuck who thought it was hilarious to harass some of the more innocent and young hostesses.
Fuck that guy. There's always one. He'd say things like, when are we going out on a date?
And the poor hostesses would just leave the kitchen so uncomfortable and embarrassed.
Yup. I've seen that happen so many times.
Fuck those men. I have experienced that so many times working at a restaurant.
So then he starts on me. I'm a strong-willed, no-nonsense type who doesn't put up with anyone's shit.
And promptly responded to every disgusting advance with fucking never.
Amazing. Hell yeah. The dude somehow had a girlfriend but would say things like, I'll dump her and go out on a date with you.
Barf. Anyway, we all got kind of used to Greg's disgusting personality because, well, college.
And also it's a chain restaurant that paid my rent. and often got me cheap drinks after work.
So Greg works there for a few months, and it is what it is working with him.
And we all kind of ignored his disgusting behavior.
He was also a terrible cook, so really the dude had no redeeming qualities or reason for working there.
One day Greg just doesn't show up for work.
Bye. Not shocking at a restaurant. but slightly unusual for someone who likely is using the services industry as a career.
By the way, not throwing shade, I made some great money bartending slash serving into my late 20s, but restaurant employees are less than reliable.
It's weird, but we all go on with our days until a few days later when we find out why this total douche canoe missed work.
Dun dun. Done. From what I remember and understand, this guy decided he wanted to break into his girlfriend's aunt's or grandma's house.
I think God, so go with that. And still God knows what, because he's an absolute lowlife.
The aunt apparently came home mid-burglary, catching Greg completely off guard.
Instead of running or apologizing, the guy shoots her in the head.
His girlfriend's aunt, the worst part, she didn't die and wasn't found for three days.
Oh, my God. But did eventually succumb to her injuries and died two days later.
If he would have even called the cops anonymously after he shot her, she probably would have survived.
What a piece of fucking garbage. While this girlfriend's poor aunt is dying in her house, he's squatting at his girlfriend's parents' house acting like nothing is wrong.
He literally just killed their family member.
The police did piece together what happened quickly and he tried to run. but was caught about an hour outside of Colombia trying to flee.
His sentence was originally for second-degree murder, but upgraded to first-degree murder shortly after.
Good. The gun he used was stolen from the victim's brother.
He also got hit with forgery and some other charges for stealing things like checks from the victim.
I'm thankful that no one was stupid enough to take him up on his date offer.
Even the young, less assertive high school girls.
Anytime I think about him, all I can do is think, ew.
I'm linking an article to the case, which includes a picture of the creep.
In addition to this psycho, the chain restaurant employed copious amounts of other creeps, like middle-aged guys, most who are convicted felons, constantly asking 20-year-old females for rides home.
Yep. A former Marine hit with adultery charges who lied in open military court and was dishonorably discharged for something insane I don't remember the details of.
But his wife had to testify against him because of the adultery.
And finally, my own sexual assault from inviting a co-worker to a well-attended party to be nice, who I had to continue to work with for months after.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
The job market was trash and I couldn't find employment anywhere else.
Trust me, I didn't want to stay, but refused to leave school because of him.
Good for you, but like, fuck, you shouldn't have had to go through that.
Yeah, not at all. Side note, he's in jail for pedophilia and sodomy now.
All around classy place. That restaurant.
Stay weird and always say no to dates with creeps and murderers and giving rides to middle-aged lowlifes and inviting people to parties to be nice.
Samantha. Samantha, I'm so sorry that you had to endure a place like that because That's horrific.
That is just insane. That's truly horrific that you had to go through all of that.
Like, ugh. God, and he's disgusting. Oh, I didn't even look because I was like, you know what?
Ugh. yeah my god he looks like every dude i ever worked with in a kitchen that's exactly how i pictured him too and my goodness samantha I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
And then to have to continue working there which happens to so many people for the exact reason you just said the job market can be trash it's hard to get another one And you got to pay bills.
And that sucks that you're put in that position.
Nobody should ever, ever, ever be in that position.
Ugh, gross. All right. My next one is called My Crazy Husband Talks to Dead People Listener Tale.
I'm obsessed already. This listener sent two pictures of them and their husband on their wedding day, which like, oh my gosh, you're so gorgeous. oh my gosh and then they also send a putifa and a word document wow you're out here doing the work Doing the work.
Doing all the work and we appreciate you for it.
We do. It says, hello, Ash and Elena. My name is Sarah with no H because fuck extra letters.
Hell yeah, Sarah. You can use my first name.
Okay, Sarah. Thanks, Sarah. We love you, Sarah with no H.
And I am from, well, everywhere, but I live currently in the back hills of East Tennessee.
I will explain in a bit, but I wanted to say I've been a fangirl of the podcast for a few years now.
We'll be right back. Oh my god, thank you so much!
Tinyurl.com. Go get it. Anywho. I'm a country girl from upstate New York who rode horses and played on a farm until I was eight when my mother and one of my best friends passed away in a car accident. that we were all in.
That's horrific. I'm so sorry. Really sorry.
After that, I popped in and out of foster care, but not really having a true family of my own, but I was lucky I had a foster mother who was firm, but very caring.
At 14, my mother's old friend who had three kids of her own adopted me as part of their family.
Their daughter was in the accident with me and my mom as well, but didn't walk away as lucky as I did.
We are still best friends to this day and call each other sisters.
I'm sure as you both know family doesn't always mean from blood.
That's right. No way. I continued to ride horses and compete as much as I could through high school, which led to a college scholarship.
Hell yeah. I know for real. Like for you to overcome losing like two of the closest people in your life and still go on and do all that, man. you're great.
While at school, I met a guy whom I wasn't really attracted to but more like drawn to at I felt safe with him, and he always made me smile, even if I knew he wasn't having a good day.
Before you knew it, I was head over heels for this guy.
I then found out he was in the military. which isn't a deal breaker because at the time nothing big was going on in the world, but gave me a second thought as I had abandonment issues from my childhood.
We all remember that time when the military thing was not like, you're going to war.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It seemed right. Oh, wait, did I?
Nope, I didn't skip. I thought I did. Aww.
Aww. One day our lives got turned on its head as so many others did.
Yeah, 9-11, 2001. My husband was at school and got a call to head into his unit.
He was heading for Ground Zero. I had never seen my husband's personality change so quickly.
He was home packed and gone in what seemed like seconds.
There I was watching TV, Knowing my husband was running to what I could only imagine was a horror show.
This led seven years of my husband coming and going from Iraq to Afghanistan and who knows where after that.
So it is now mid-May 2008, and I have two little boys living in a little city house not that far from my sister's and adopted mom.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, so my kids have a parent at home so they don't feel the void is bad from their dad's deployments.
My husband has just started another tour overseas.
That must be so hard. I can't imagine having to get through that.
I give you so much credit because that seems like a lot.
And just wait. I get a knock on the door midday by a group of men in uniform.
It felt like my world stopped and my feet became glued to the floor and I couldn't move.
I felt that if I didn't answer the door, whatever they were going to tell me would be true.
However, like I was floating I moved to the door and opened it.
Four men in uniform told me that my husband had been hurt bad overseas and I should pack some clothes and find someone to watch the kids for a few days.
I remember saying, okay, but not moving.
There was this little old lady who was with them, but not an army person.
Let's call her Gail. She came in and helped me calm down and started getting things in order.
Gail saved me that day. There was a guy who said that my husband had been blown up in an IED and had been shot, but was okay, stable, and on his way home, but was going to need help getting better.
Oh my I can't imagine getting that news.
This somehow calmed me and gave me focus.
So I set to work, scooped up his ass, and smothered his ass with love and motivation to get back up and around, which he did ungodly quick. but still needed a bunch of surgeries to get back to quote-unquote normal.
Oh, you're like a true partner. You really are.
During this time, my husband helped his friend clean out a hoarder's house where the guy had been dead for two weeks and the animals ate him. ate him to live sorry it gave context to how bad the house was like sorry about that i had to do it After cleaning the house and completely remodeling it, the family was so happy with how it looked and amazed by my husband's story.
They sold us the house crazy cheap and we moved right in.
Oh man. We went into a scary house there.
That's a choice. With some hesitation on my part, but it was an amazing home.
Yeah, you got to do what you got to do, man.
This is where things get a little crazy. is shocking I'm a heavy sleeper and I can fall asleep anywhere in contrast my husband is a light sleeper and will wake up to a mouthful farting in the other room plus he doesn't sleep much anymore so he's up most nights The house is what they call a split level ranch.
So there are different floors, but not really, if you know what I mean.
I do. Maybe only four steps up or down.
My husband would be at the kitchen table on the main floor drinking coffee most days when I woke up.
So I didn't think anything about it till he looked up at me one day with a straight face and said...
Can you tell mom to stop touching my feet at night, please?
It's keeping me up and she won't listen to me.
I stopped dead in my tracks as I wasn't sure what he just said, or maybe I didn't want to believe it.
To this I said, my mom is dead. You know this.
Why would she be touching your feet? What the fuck?
He then said, well, she doesn't like the fact that I'm not treating you right and you needed to stay in college.
What? This just hit me as odd, but I thought he was just fucking with me.
So I said, okay, if that's my mom, explain what she looked like.
Then he described her exactly how she looked the day of the accident, down to the clothes, hair, and her way of speaking.
There's no way he would have known that, as I don't speak of my accident to anybody ever.
Plus, I have few photos of my mom because most were lost in foster care.
I'm so sorry. I know. That just hurt my heart.
To which I said, fuck this. I haven't even had my coffee yet and walked into the kitchen.
Oh my god, I'm a... I... What?! ! I love that he said, shit yeah.
He's like, oh, shit yeah. I love it. Which like I'm not shocked.
No, not at all. Shortly after things started to escalate.
Matchbox cars were getting tossed at my kids in their bedroom.
Doors were opening and shutting. But the scariest thing ever is when my kids told me there was a guy in our shower so So they didn't want to be in there alone.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nope. No, no guys in the shower.
I had had enough at this point. So I went and got a person who I knew was sensitive to the other side.
The nice lady, Sandy... Got out of her car and we all met in the driveway and she looked at my husband and said you see them don't you?
Oh. This is a movie. My God. To which he smiled and said...
Hold your shit, lady. You're in for a ride.
Your husband is my favorite. love it that's amazing what a way to answer both of those things shit yeah this place is loaded and hold your shit lady hold your shit lady You're in for a ride.
I love it. Then she just turned around and walked in.
We'll be right back. with some friends to help.
To which I said, sure, let's make this a real freak show.
Yeah, why not? About a week later, and so many more odd shit going on, Sandy came back, but with a van full of people.
Like, no shit. Eight people. Eight. I'm a real fucking fan of people.
Her, her daughter who was about 18 years old, a priest with a helper, a full fucking film crew of ghost hunters.
Oh my god not the show people the first thing i did was take the kids next door to a friend's house as they didn't really need to see any of this no The priest blessed the doorway as my husband sat at the table, laughing, saying, you're really pissing them off now.
Oh my god, your husband is such a hothead.
Hot shit. I love it. The ghost hunter. I just had a picture of him at the table like, ooh.
You fucked up now, Priestie. You guys pissed him off.
The ghost hunter Gru moves into the house and starts planting... cameras all over the kids rooms basement and living room so it looked like some big brother stuff was going on Once that was done, Sandy walked in and beelined it for my husband and said, "'Why did you bring them back?
You brought both of them back.'" What? Sandy then went on to explain the spirits of two brothers that met my husband on the battlefield and had not fared well in the encounter. they apparently attached to him or what we found out later something he brought back with him nothing gross My husband has a hard time with emotions and knowing when and what to say due to his head injury.
So if he thinks it, it comes out." He then looked at the stairs and laughed and said, pussies.
Oh, man. Sorry, but it struck the spirits about as well as it struck you both, I bet.
The chandelier started swinging slightly and we heard footsteps upstairs, which is only about six feet from where we were all standing.
My husband then told Sandy, wait to hear about how...
Wait, sorry. My husband then told Sandy, wait till you hear about how, quote, Buzz, the old owner, got murdered here.
Crazy ex-wife wanted his life insurance.
Even burned the new will in the fireplace in the living room.
Stop. The ghost hunters and Sandy walked around for the rest of the night, getting cars thrown at them and hearing footsteps.
The next day, the priest blessed the house, put salt on the windowsills, not sure why, and then hung reed crossed above every door.
I can say things slowed down but never really stopped.
Mainly the bad things stopped, but my husband still talked to my mom, which I take as a sign of her checking up on me from time to time and keeping my husband's ass in line lol yeah mom hell yeah mama The kids still would see a little girl jumping on their beds or wake up with her sitting on their beds.
Woof. Sandy said she was harmless just to play, so we left toys out every day when the kids went to school. for her to play with.
Oh, that's really nice of you. The brother left once we found out what they were attached to and got rid of it.
We have since moved on from that house as my husband got a job that accommodates his needs.
We welcomed our third boy shortly before moving out.
Not sure how that happened, as he is, let's say, fixed.
Amazing. However, my mom always knew I wanted three boys.
Aw. Oh, so she like, she worked it. I love it.
She worked it. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
And I hope you keep it weird, but not so weird that you move into a murder house and have your husband talk to dead people.
Bye, Sarah. sarah sarah oh my goodness what a hot shit your husband is and look how freaking you are hilarious It's loading.
You guys looked gorgeous on your wedding night.
Stop it. Your hair is to die for and your headband is great and you and your whole family are the Freaking cutest.
Let me see this. Oh my God. Look at these cuties.
You guys are so cute. All of you. Oh my goodness.
What a beautiful little fam. Wow. Man. Thanks for that, Sarah.
That was so great. My God. Your house sounds terrifying but hilarious all at the same time.
I'm glad that you don't live there anymore.
I know. Alright, moving right along, too.
Listener tale. Y'all spooky assholes made a tiddle-peeping ghost decide to divine design my My shit.
Tittle peepin' ghost divine designed your shit.
Isn't divine design good though? Like it's like divine.
Maybe. I guess we'll find out. Let's go.
So this says, hey there. In the off chance you read this slightly unhinged fever dream, I've attached it as a five-page double-spaced 14 point put a foot you hero also on the on chance that we read this hell yeah what you meant hell yeah and it says PS I 100% had to resend this because even though I've listened to all the listener tales I fucking forgot to put listener tales on subject line oof oh my goodness well thank you for resending it because now we're gonna read it And the name of the Puttafa is Puttafa, bitches.
Yeah. I love it. You get it. Hey there, you spectacularly spoopy shits.
My name is, yes, you can use it, Emily. Emily.
Emily. Emily. If you actually read this on the podcast.
I'd probably shit my pants. We've made so many people have to get new pants and I appreciate that.
Sorry about that. Luckily, we've got some new pants that you can can get we do get ready for some merch or maybe by the time you're listening it already happened we're a little confused you know what you can already have them that's cool maybe you're wearing them i wrote this quick but before my self-doubt tried to swoop in.
So sorry for any confusing lines or bad grammar."
Ever since I started listening to your podcast back in 2020, I was hooked.
I loved and still love the way that you piece together Perfectly honor and respect for the families who have tragically lost loved ones to human wet lettuce. while seamlessly interweaving the most iconic insults I have ever heard in my life.
Hence why human wet lettuce has entered my vernacular. thank you amazing i'm telling you i've not come across another podcast like yours and i don't believe anyone could ever do a better job than the two of you Man.
That is the nicest. That's like really nice.
Thank you. I could think of like maybe three to four other people that might do a pretty good job. for sure, like a lot of other people, but like, I appreciate that a lot.
Yeah, I just picked three to four. I was like, yeah, adoration aside.
I always tried to stay away from the paranormal episodes because even though I love morbid shit, I'm also a grade-A baby bitch who is afraid of just about everything under the When I listen to the paranormal episodes, you best believe your girl starts to get real suspicious of closet doors, windows, and shit like that. that my husband would like to convince me could never actually contain a spirit that wants to beat the shit out of me, but he's probably wrong.
He could be. That's the thing. It's like you can't take that chance.
Yeah, you can't. You really can't. Still, because I was plowing through your content like fucking BTK plowing through pictures of himself tried to a fucking tree.
I had to hop into the paranormal shit. I started innocently enough listening to spooky roads and listener tales with hauntings that I made a grave effort I never used headphones to prevent spooky shits from hearing what I can only imagine is a green light for the paranormal.
Ruh roh. I had been doing this for a while before I started noticing anything.
One day, I was listening to y'all be the iconic women that you are.
I love you. Stop it. While cleaning my kitchen.
I actually want to say it was a listener tale where someone was living in a house across from a cemetery.
Because I remember looking out my window to see if a fucking zombie was there.
Like, yeah, cemetery coming for you too, bitch.
See? Irrational fears. I had already unloaded the dishwasher and closed all my cabinets and then went upstairs to do something that my ADHD brain said was very important.
Do not tell me that all your cabinets were open when you came back.
I'm like waiting. Or your dishwasher. When I came back downstairs... No, don't tell me that.
One of the cabinets was wide open. I thought, huh, maybe I'm a dumb bitch?
Ha ha ha ha! A lot of times that thought goes through my head on a daily basis.
Huh. Maybe I'm a dumb bitch. I think that constantly.
That's a really good... I think that should be like a shirt.
Like, huh. Maybe I'm a dumb bitch, but I didn't think too much of it a couple of days later, I was farting around the kitchen and I hear the pots and pans in the bottom cabinet start scooting around.
Sounded like someone had picked one up slightly and maybe shifted them around, but the door remained shut.
I thought, huh. Maybe the vibration from my feet walking around just shifted stuff in the cabinet close to the ground.
Again, dumb bitch doesn't think too much of it.
Now you're probably wondering, Emily, you said this ghost is looking at your titties.
Pretty sure Martha Stewart is just trying to organize your kitchen.
Why are you accusing her of trying to get frisky?
Well... Even before Home Kid decided they needed to join... Home Kid.
I like that. Even before Home Kid decided they needed to Joanna Gaines my shit, I noticed a particularly cold breeze every time I was in the shower.
I checked the vent and fan in the bathroom to see if there were problems, but there were no mechanical way for me to feel a breeze generated from either of those.
And the shower is one of those glass enclosures, so air can't really travel anywhere except from the top.
This breeze almost comes directly from the middle of the door, like it's floating through the glass.
It also doesn't start right away. It's almost at the time I've gotten the right water temperature and closed my eyes that the ghostly cold comes wafting in.
I've even asked my husband if he feels it whenever he goes in the shower and he doesn't the ghostly homeboy trying to look at my titties I mean, I don't know whether or not to be flattered, but I'd like some ghostly consent, you know?
I mean, you deserve ghostly consent. Yeah, you do.
We deserve ghostly consent. Consent in all realms is important.
I think Trid told us that on the Listener Tales episode.
He did. Maybe you're at this point and think damn scaredy bitch got a lot of free time and a big ass imagination.
I don't think that. But I've got the piece de la resistance.
Ooh. A few nights ago. Oh, my God. clear as day, wake.
No. I just about shit my nightgown. I would have shot more than my nightgown.
I would have shot everything in the house.
Now I know for sure this is not my husband's voice.
And unless my cats learn to how to fucking talk, there was no one else in the house that could have said this.
So this little ghostly homie not only likes to look at my titties, redecorate my cabinets, but also decided that sleeping was too grand a luxury for me.
Needless to say, I did not sleep that night.
I don't blame you. I don't actually blame you guys for this because let's be real.
Who was the dumb fuck that said, no, I don't need to use the headphones, no spooky fuck lives here, and therefore gave them power?
This gal. I just got to find some sage or say the Lord's Prayer like 8 million times to get spicy ghost out of here.
Honestly, they haven't really done anything super mean.
So I'm kind of okay to just live and let live.
But you bet your sweet asses now that I only listen to your podcast with headphones. and make sure that I turn the heat up extra high so home ghost does not decide to enter my shower endeavors.
As if steamy showers make homeboy less horny.
Anyway. Maybe you read this and are like, yeah, kid, you just have a drafty house and heavy footsteps that make your cabinets quake.
And if so, that's fine. That makes your cabinets quake.
And if so, that's fine. I'd sleep better knowing that y'all don't think I got spooky shit.
As far as I'm concerned, you both are the queens of spook.
So if you decree it, that's got to be it.
Keep it weird and keep creating art, Emily.
Emily, you're my favorite. I love it so much.
P.S. You don't have to read this on the podcast, you know, and I'm going to.
Too late. But I just want to say thank you for keeping an open mind on the topic of religion. makes my blood boil to hear the number of murderous fucks who use religion as a backbone for their malice and hatred.
As someone who's trying to follow Jesus, it's really infuriating to hear people use something that you love as a weapon toward hatred and bigotry.
Thank you for giving basic love and respect that many times people claiming to be Christians don't even give.
Here's to good casting out the negativity.
Cheers. Cheers. Yay. Hey, hell yeah. We try to keep an open mind about most things.
Like we always say. Everyone deserves to believe what they want to believe as long as you are not hurting someone else in the process.
Or yourself. Exactly. So keep doing that.
Yay. Yay. Emily, we love you.
That was beautiful. Emily was wonderful.
Also, I'm having like a moment where I just want to be like, Emily!
Like Thackeray Binks, you know what I mean?
Oh, hell yeah, like Thackeray Binks. Every day like Thackeray Binks.
It's getting hot in here. That was my awakening with Thackery Binks.
Many, many people's awakening. Thackery Binks and...
Jareth. You just really... I was like, there's no Jareth.
Yeah, no. There is not a Hocus Pocus. I was like, I like went through the characters and I was like, no.
Nope. No Jareth in Hocus Pocus. And then I was going to say, you mean Maxx?
No. All right. Nope. Get it? Yeah, you get it, right?
I was like, are you so confused? No, no, no.
No, I just give off the illusion that I'm always confused.
You know what happens. The hair. it's there well our next listener tale is from a listener named bailey bailey We love your name.
The best name. The best. And Bailey is also the best person because...
She wrote, Hi guys, I've attached my tail as a double-spaced PDF.
I hope you're having a wonderful week and I can't wait for the next episode.
Thanks for all that you do, Bailey. Bailey, I hope you're having a fucking awesome week. not just an awesome week a fucking awesome week I hope you're having the best damn week And this tale that Bailey wrote to us is entitled, The One Where My Boyfriend Tries to Sell Me on New England, But Instead I Experience My First Haunting.
Okay. Which makes sense because New England.
I was going to say that was really just going to happen.
Yeah, it's just, it comes along with the territory.
It should have been part of the selling point, I think.
Usually it is for most people. Bailey. Bailey.
We love you. We love you. Hey, spooky ladies.
My name is Bailey. Feel free to use my name.
Good, because I've used it 452 times at this point. point many, many times.
Thank you, Bailey. And I feel so thankful my friend introduced me to your show.
I also feel thankful for that. Me too. I am currently in my first year of vet school.
And I always listen to your podcast while walking my dog, Mia.
I've attached a photo of us below. I saw and she's beautiful.
I love when you guys do that. I love seeing your dogs and all your animals.
And you. And you, yeah. She's my very first dog and my best friend in the whole world.
I definitely felt pretty lonely when I moved here, especially because my boyfriend, who I was living with beforehand, is stationed across the country.
But listening to your podcast made me feel like I'm hanging out with friends.
Please never stop going on tangents. They're always my favorite part.
I love you. Oh, and then Alina. So you're ready.
This is hard. It is. I wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss of Bailey.
I was really glad to hear you had such an amazing veterinary team to support you.
I was originally drawn to the career because of my love for animals, but I found that one of my favorite parts of the job is being able to support and build relationships with their owners as well.
I always tell people when they lose an animal that I believe a part of their pet lives on and every pet they meet.
So if you run into a nice dog on a walk that smiles and wags its, I'm going to start fucking crying right now.
For real? I'm like, you were... Destroying me in the best way.
If you run into a nice dog on a walk that smiles and wags his tail as you go by, or if you visit your friend and their cat comes to sit in your lap, it's probably Bailey sending you a sweet reminder that she's always watching over you.
Oh my god, I'm I miss Bubba so much. I'm like having a moment.
That just like really, that like touched my soul.
I got tears in my eyes, Bailey. And now, are you partially Bailey letting me know that everything's fine because you are? baby i kind of think so i think you were meant to send this as i was reading that I just had like this horrible feeling in my chest where I was like, I want to go pet Bubba.
I know, right? See? It happens to me too.
I randomly, the other night it happened.
Where I was just like watching something and I just started to cry.
And John was like, oh, my God, what is happening?
And I was like, I just miss Bailey. I know, it sucks.
It just hits randomly that you're like, I literally just want to kiss Bubba.
I know. I walked by one of her pictures the other day because there's pictures of her everywhere.
Which is everything. And I was just like, I... miss you so much.
Like, I have lost people in my life that I don't miss nearly as much as Bubba it's true I just want her to fart on me again She always loved farting on me and then she would get up and she'd sniff the area where she just farted like i did and she would give me this horrified look Like how dare you?
Like why would you do that? Like you are foul.
Because, like, whenever you and John would go somewhere, like, she would come to Ma and Papa's with me.
Well, like, with Papa, really. But, like.
She'd come in and say goodnight to me, and I just miss her.
Oh, she was just the best. All right. She really is.
Wow, that hurt. Oh, man. but that was beautiful that was so beautiful and you know what you are correct my vet experience with that whole thing was like top notch would not have it any other way no like top notch Wow.
I know. All right. On to the story. I really did.
Thank you for that, Bailey, because that really was like a really sweet thing to say.
I know, because now I'm going to go home and pet Frankie and Lux and be like, is there a little Bubba inside of you?
Like, is Bubba in there? Do you have a Bubba in you?
I feel like Lux does. Yeah, that's true.
Onto the story. My boyfriend, who is the most handsome and wonderful boy that I have ever met, Why are you just a sweet little mush?
I'm literally obsessed. He originally grew up in New England. and has been trying to sell me on moving there since our first date.
He's very into... I thought it said skating.
I thought you were going to say ska. No, that's true.
He's very into skiing and ice climbing. Like frozen waterfalls with axes in hand and spikes on his shoes.
So, uh, no thank you. He's Kristoff. He is Kristoff.
Ooh. I love that for you. I'm definitely more of a free diving, kayaking, reading my book on the beach kind of person.
Damn. I was going to say you sound outdoorsy too.
I know. I'm very much a order sushi and watch Bridgerton on my couch kind of gal.
There you go. I planned our first vacation as a couple to stay in a beach house, go snorkeling with manatees.
Visit every zoo in a two-hour radius. I used to be a zookeeper, so I'm still obsessed.
Oh, you're just the best. You're so cool.
And just generally relax. When it came time for our next one, I knew it was only fair to let him plan it, though I knew where it was going.
Yeah. New England in the dead of winter.
He couldn't even ease me into it by starting with a summer trip.
No way. Honestly, that wouldn't even be easing you into it because it gets hotter than butt down here.
Over, it's not down here at all. Over here is what I meant to say.
Down here. Down here. Down here in New England.
Down here in the Northeast. Yeah, you know.
Yep. His idea was to go to Connecticut to visit his family, head up to New Hampshire to stay at a cute bed and breakfast.
Which one? and then end in Vermont at his family's cabin before heading back home.
Sounds cute, right? maybe if you're someone that likes wearing 10 layers, then getting hot and taking five off, then getting cold again and putting them back on at a vicious cycle that doesn't end until you're in bed.
And no matter how hot you get, your feet are always freezing. but you physically cannot go to sleep with socks on without feeling ill.
I totally get that. I cannot sleep with socks on.
No, if you sleep with socks on, you're a murderer.
The scenery is nice, though. I can't argue that.
Connecticut was quaint, but soon I found myself in New Hampshire.
Tim, my boyfriend, had booked us a place at the... I'm from here and I can't even say that. burner hoff in which do you know what that is uh no i don't think i do actually i probably know it but i just don't yeah It's in a town called Glen, where everything closes at 5 PM.
That's why I've never been there. That doesn't sound fun.
The inn was absolutely beautiful. Photo below.
I looked at that photo and I showed it to you.
That is beautiful. Oh, yeah, you're right.
And the innkeepers were so kind. We were in we were booked in room eight named the Interval. or veil, I don't know.
Fast forward through getting settled and I was starting to feel under the weather.
Am I pregnant? I wondered. Old faithful as far as my go-to irrational thought whenever my body is mildly abnormal.
As we're settling into go to sleep, I started having hot sweats, then cold sweats, then nausea, then sweaty again.
To put it simply, I was not in a good way.
Tim fell asleep in two minutes as usual, his soft snoring helping me calm down and fall asleep.
I don't know if it was a dream or real life, but I must have woken up five to six times throughout the night, and I kept seeing people in the room.
I couldn't make out any details of their bodies or their faces because of the darkness. but I could just tell that they were tending to things in the room.
Once I woke up and someone was, oh, sorry, sorry.
Once I woke up and somebody was fixing the curtains.
Another time someone was soundlessly rearranging the desk.
At some point, a fire appeared in the wood stove, even though we purposefully turned it off before going to bed because it was too hot in the room.
I figured I was just having a fever dream.
So every time I woke up, I closed my eyes and just went back to bed.
In the morning, I didn't tell Tim about my weird experience, mostly because we both get freaked out easily and I didn't want to stress him out.
We sat down to eat breakfast at the inn and talked about what we had planned for the day.
Not much, because I was still feeling terrible.
After I took two bites of a fruit parfait, I walked over to the souvenir cabinet to see if they sold any kind of cold medicine.
The walls were lined with newspaper articles about Bernhoff and old... Yeah, Bernhoff. and old photos throughout the years, which Tim was checking out while I searched for anything to hold me over long enough to go on a hike.
Hey, bae, come check this out, he called from down the hall.
Hey, bae. Hey, bae. I know. I like that your name doubles as a nickname and like you're his bae.
Yeah. I walked over to examine the article he was reading, and my heart dropped into my stomach immediately.
There was a relatively old framed art. There was a relatively old article framed up on the wall with a large vintage photo of a beautiful woman with dark hair and soft features.
She was a former innkeeper who took over in 1955 named Claire Zumstein.
Upon her death, she decided to take up residence in room eight of the inn.
Oh. Oh. At this point, all the color had drained from my face, and Tim noticed. he thought it was just because I was deathly afraid of ghosts and wouldn't be able to stand the thought of seeing one.
Well, Timothy, too late. I quickly told him everything from the night before and I let him know we will be sleeping with the lights on that night.
Fast forward to getting back from our hike and I turn every light on in the back.
I turned every light in the room and bathroom on.
Wasn't that photo of Claire so beautiful? beautiful.
I say loudly as I walk in the room, hoping to appease her.
Yeah, you got to let her know. I think you're gorgeous.
Oh my God, honey. Was that a new shirt you were wearing?
You are. hair. That is your color. She really turned this place into something special.
I can't imagine what it would be like with all the work that she put into it.
Oh my god, that's genius. Tim is laughing at me at this point, not unkindly.
The thing is, I am terrified of everything paranormal.
And honestly, most true crime, too. I just really like you guys, so I keep listening.
But if you ever start to decide another podcast that's more chill i would definitely sleep better at night but never stop listening to morbid well hey or but never stop recording morbid Well, hey, well, maybe we do have some coming to your butt a little bit.
With Claire, though, I didn't feel afraid.
Yes, I did sleep with the lights on, and yes, I did request to be the little spoon all night. but I really didn't feel like Claire had any malice toward us.
She was just a gal who had put her heart and soul into the inn and loved it enough to stick around. so she could continue to care for it.
Honestly, it's sweet. I know. I think so, too.
She even made me a little fire when I was sick.
Wow. I guess if I was destined to meet a ghost I was very lucky that it was her.
Would I ever go back? Absolutely not. But would I recommend it to others?
Yeah, I think you guys would love it. She's like, fuck yeah, get over there.
She's like, I will never step foot on that property again, but totally go.
Check it out. And look at the dog. oh my god look at that spoof you and your dog are adorable cuties that i want to go there now i very much want to go there can we go there we can go there we're gonna go there we're gonna visit claire it's in new hampshire yeah All right.
Why not? Let's go visit Claire. Claire Bailey.
That was really cool. And you're just like a sweet, kind person.
And I'm glad that your boyfriend is also a sweet, kind person, and together you're just sweet and kind and wonderful.
I'm also glad about that. And I love that you do outdoorsy things together.
That's nice. I don't know what that's like, but it's nice.
It's a very, I love that for you kind of moment.
Bless your heart. No, I would never say that to you.
No, that's not nice. We know from our Southern listeners that like that is a...
That's a sass. I want to say bless your heart to somebody like serious.
Like actually use it in the way it's supposed to be used.
I know, I feel like I've, there's been many opportunities where I could have used it, but I used like some like really abrasive uh northeastern thing instead and just been like get fucked I was literally just going to say, like, the South, like, oh, bless your heart, honey.
I love that it's very, like... Ours is not flowery.
It's literally go fuck yourself, guy. Get fucked. kid ah fuck right off you dickhead we don't we don't dance around anything up here we don't show doesn't sound as good no i'm gonna be honest i like your way better i do too Because the bless your heart is just like, ooh.
It's like, ooh, am I being nice or do I want to kick you in the teeth?
Answer. I want to kick you in the teeth.
Always the latter. Sometimes I'm being nice.
Sometimes. All right. You want to read the last one?
Do I want to read the last one? I know, I asked you very lightly because I grazed over it. this do i want to read the last one it is called be careful who you befriend on the web That's a tale as old as time.
And I was going to say, a great piece of advice for everybody is, Hey, weirdos.
I've recently discovered your pod and am obsessed. true crime is my love language and my husband gets tired of hearing me talk about it I think he's just worried I could pull off the perfect murder I think a lot of husbands are Definitely.
I wanted to share a story that happened 13 years ago when I was pregnant with my son.
I joined an online community of women who are also pregnant due to the same month I was.
Due the same month I was. These women were from all over the world, but it was mostly Americans and Canadians in our group.
There were about 20 of us and we talked daily.
In the beginning, it was small, innocent stuff. how our pregnancies were going, tips and advice for ailments, birth plans, et cetera.
But as the weeks went on, we got comfortable with each other. and shared more personal things.
Details about our kids, spouses, jobs, cities, etc.
We shared pictures and videos of funny things our kids did.
Eventually we shared phone numbers, social media pages, And home addresses to send things to one another.
No. We got close. Even though I had never met them in person, they were my sisters.
I could tell them any without judgment and get wonderful advice and i do the same for them don't judge deep conversations about vaginal mucus and constipation pregnancy man Girl, I get you.
Like the things you will Google while pregnant or trying to get pregnant.
It will get you on like an FBI watch list, I feel like.
I don't even know. I feel you so hard right now.
Yeah. Okay. I got to hear all about that when you were pregnant.
Certainly did. We talk about the dream to all gather one day and meet.
This is like a very precious. It is. We'd exchange cards and gifts on Christmas and birthdays.
Eventually, our babies were born, and we kept up the daily banter for years after.
That's wonderful. Here comes the murder part.
Okay. When our babies were about three years old, that's when all hell broke loose.
There was a girl in our group. We'll call her Ashley.
Why you gotta do that? Why you gotta do that one day Ashley posted something along the lines of, we think we all know each other.
I promise you we don't. Be careful what you say.
Chatter immediately started. No one knew what the fuck Ashley was talking about.
There's always that. one girl on facebook listen that's my government name i don't know that's like i didn't say it was you i said that's always ashley yeah yeah but you looked at me funny my point here is there's always that one girl on facebook that posts weird like cryptic shit cryptic shit and you're like what are you talking about about yeah and then you go to ask about it and she's like i don't know i can't talk about it right now and you're like get the fuck off social media precisely gosh Then she posted it.
But then she posted it. A news story out of Canada from 1990. where Carla Homolka and her partner, Paul Bernardo, violently raped and killed at least four girls, including Carla's 16-year-old sister, Tammy.
Is Ashley Carla Homolka? More banter and chatter was exchanged.
And so somebody said, holy shit. Please tell me I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing.
A sweet quiet girl in our group Emily looked a lot like the pictures of Carla. from the story it was hard to see at first as the pictures were 22 years old but you could see it Eventually, Emily spoke up and confessed everything.
Emily, formerly Carla Homolka, had been released from prison in 2005 through a plea deal.
She changed her name, left Canada, and started a new life.
She was married and had three children. She told us she never meant to deceive us.
She just wanted that part of her life to be in the past.
Oh yeah, you just wanted that part where you killed your sister to be in the past?
I just want that to be in the past. I don't want people to know.
Yeah, killed your sister and raped four other women.
Yeah, totally. Just leave that in the past.
People change. At that point, the group was split.
Some supported her. That's wild. Some wanted her back in jail.
That's mean. about half of the girls left the group completely that would be me same and it fell apart from there I had never heard of the case, probably because it was in Canada, but mostly because true crime podcasts weren't a thing back then.
But when I researched it, I got sick to my stomach.
Yes, you did. the details of the case were sickening and made me so torn on where i stood with emily Part of me wanted to hug her.
Part of me wanted to hurt her. But the weirdest part was knowing how much she knew about me and my family.
Yeah, like she has your fucking ass. Oh, not that I thought she'd harm us, but that someone that could be capable of so much evil could also be such a lovely person.
Or was that manipulation? I'm gonna go with a manipulation.
So there it is. I have not spoken to her since all of that happened, but while listening to true crime podcasts, I'll hear an episode on her story and I can't listen.
Because all I can picture is her beautiful family and the two can't go hand in hand in my brain.
I understand that. That must be wild. No.
Side note for you mass holes, I joined another group on the same website when I was pregnant with my daughter five years ago. and met my very best friend who lives on Cape Cod.
I've been to visit and I'm a huge fan, especially during spooky season.
Hell yeah. Keep up the great content and keep it weird, but not so weird that you're casually talking to someone on the internet about yeast infections and how uncomfortable sex is during pregnancy. and then one day find out they're an accused rapist and murderer.
Yeah. I don't even know what to say about that.
You were in an online mommy group with Carla Hamoka.
That's terrifying. That's a two truths and a lie moment.
It truly is. But you know what? First, there's like so many levels to that.
One shows you that you don't fucking know people.
Yeah, catfish. Hello. Especially on the internet.
To... Like, the fact that she is just joining mommy groups online.
I can't imagine. And then being like, I didn't want to deceive any of you.
And it's like, you know what girlfriend?
That's the thing. I didn't want to deceive any of you, but I just wanted to deceive you.
I just wanted to deceive you because I wanted that part in the past.
And it's like... Yeah, you know what, I'm sure all the loved ones of the people you raped and killed would love nothing more than to go to the past and make that not happen.
But it did. But you just want to forget about it.
I'm sure they would love to forget about it as well, but they can't because you kill people and rape them. yeah also just like what in a mommy group like has three kids Literally took away other people's children by brutally raping and murdering them, but you have three kids.
And I remember reading about people at her kid's school suddenly found out that she was there and that she was trying to volunteer. for shit I was gonna say and then she was like why can't like come on bitch like you know that you should not be volunteering at a school I get that you're trying to move on from being an evil monster.
I don't. Well, I'm saying I understand a monster wanting to move on from being a monster or being seen as a monster, I suppose.
What I don't understand is how you think that that includes volunteering at a school. and that you wouldn't understand why parents would be a little fucking uncomfortable with that, considering you drugged, raped, and murdered your own 16 year old sister.
You really can't, you really feel like, oh man, everybody's being mean to me.
You really don't understand that. Because that's the thing.
I feel like there's so many people that are like, well, it was Paul who made her do that.
And I'm like, there are videotapes. Where she is doing everything that he is doing.
And you know what? That's her fucking sister.
Like nobody makes you kill your sister. That's her little sister. little sister.
If anybody ever told me to kill you or like anything like that, I wouldn't.
You know what? Thank you for saying that.
I hope that gives you peace. You know what?
If anyone ever told me to kill you... I would say no, and I would not talk to that person anymore. peace of mind you can you can like rest easy knowing that that i would go snip And they would be out of my life.
No, I talk about ghosting. I would do it.
What? I would ghost that person. You were so confused. hear ghosted and i thought you said like a name that ended in sten such as justin what and i was like Did a person named Justin tell you to kill me and you cut them off?
No, it's never happened. I can tell you that.
All right, cool. That's good. that settles my stomach.
Oh man, that was a terrifying one. I'm still processing yeah and I feel bad because you got unfortunately deceived manipulated by this woman yeah and Anybody would, of course, it happened to.
But it's got to be really like a mind fuck to be like, oh shit, I have told her very intimate things about me, my pregnancy, my children, my family, and my life.
Wow, that's the ultimate mind fuck right there.
But good for you. You cut the cord and you said goodbye and that's that.
And now you're like, woo. here's my crazy ass story yeah boy was that what what an interesting one to end on i know damn you guys we say it every time but you kill it as usual I mean look at that Look at what we just read.
Like the cops, the cop couple. They made my entire life.
The cop partners that need their own show.
Yeah, like your husband, the husband that talked to dead.
There was a lot of good. Like boyfriends and husbands.
Yeah. Boyfriends, husbands and partners.
So like, yeah, like just good, like twosomes in this.
Yes, for sure. Great pairs. You know what?
There you go. That was the theme of the episode.
Great pairs. Great pairs. Listener Tales 41.
Great pants. I don't even know if this is 41.
It's probably like 87 at this point. Just pulling a number out of your ass.
I literally was just like 41. That feels good.
Well, guys, we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weak.
But not so weird that you are running into ghost people with each other with your husband.
Although I think you kind of should do that with your husband because it sounds of fun not somewhere that you get asked out by a murderer at work but if you work in a restaurant that might happen to you like on the daily Don't keep it so weird that your husband starts talking to dead people from when he comes home from combat, because that would be both alarming and a lot to handle.
Don't keep it so weird that you are peeping on people's titties in the afterlife.
You know what I'm saying? Do keep it so weird that you bring your partner to New England and haunt them and do not keep it so weird that you meet Carla Homolka in a mommy Facebook group. group. yeah yeah but you really don't have a lot of control over that but you don't but try not to keep it that weird try not to give it your best go
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The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea and sex.
But lately, life on the coast has taken a strange turn.
The town's mayor, a respected pillar of the community, has been arrested for corruption.
His wife claims he's been bewitched by a beautiful clairvoyant.
Then there's the mysterious phone calls that local people have been getting.
I am the Archangel Michael. The whole town has been thrown into chaos.
As the mayor is unable to carry out his duties, I would like to address you all.
Legal proceedings have been initiated. Join me, Anna Richardson, and journalist Leo Schick for The Mystic and the Mayor as we investigate a story of power, corruption, Binge all episodes of The Mystic and the Mare exclusively and ad-free right now on Wondery+. start your free trial in apple podcasts spotify or the wondery app
