Hey everyone, welcome back to Podcast and Chill.
I'm Gwen.
And I'm Leo.
Today, we're talking about something that controls more of your life than you realize.
Your thoughts.
Yeah, Jim Rohn once said, Life doesn't get better by chance.
It gets better by change.
And that change begins in your mind.
So, in this episode, we'll learn how to kill negative thinking and build a stronger mind.
Because when you control your thoughts, you control your life.
Sounds cool, right?
We'll talk about where those thoughts come from, how they hurt you, and how you can handle them.
And we also have a free PDF for you.
It has the words and exercises from today's episode.
You can download it from the link below.
All right, Leo.
Imagine this.
You wake up in the morning and before you even say hi to the world, a small voice starts talking in your head.
Uh-oh.
What does it say?
I'm not good enough.
My English is bad.
Other people are better than me.
That voice again.
It's so small, but it just ruins my whole day sometimes.
Can we please turn it off?
I wish we could.
The scary part is that voice might be small, but it controls a lot of things.
How you feel, what you do, and what you think about yourself every day.
It really does.
So why do we have thoughts like that?
Well, one big reason is comparing yourself to other people.
Like you see someone speaking perfect English on YouTube, And suddenly you feel bad about yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Or when my friend gets a good job and I'm still lying in bed scrolling through my phone.
See?
That's comparing.
And it brings something much worse.
Fear of failure.
You don't want to make mistakes, so you just stop trying.
You are so scared that people will laugh at you, even if you just try something small.
I have an Italian friend who joined an English group chat.
She said everyone wrote perfect messages.
She wrote one too but deleted it, wrote again, deleted again, and then she just left the group.
She left the group?
Yeah.
She told me she felt so embarrassed.
She just left without saying a word.
But that's how negative thinking starts.
You tell yourself, I can't do it again and again until you believe it.
And once you believe it, you stop trying.
You never get the chance to improve.
So you fail because you believe you will fail?
Correct.
The truth is, you don't fail because you're not smart or anything.
You just need more time and to trust yourself a little more.
Oh, so it's not about being born smart.
It's about not giving up.
Well, yeah.
That negative thinking is like a little liar in your brain.
It's small but powerful.
It controls your feelings, your actions, and even your confidence.
It makes you want to run away from challenges.
What happens if we run away?
Every time you avoid a challenge, the fear grows a little bigger.
But every time you face it, even with a mistake, you become a little stronger.
I feel like these negative thoughts don't just make it hard to learn English.
They also affect other things, right?
That's the scary part.
Negative thoughts don't stay in one place.
They slowly spread into every part of your life.
Everywhere?
Like a virus?
Yeah, kind of.
It's like...
At work, you don't speak up because you're scared.
Or with your friends, you feel you're not as good as they are.
When you're alone, you feel like everyone else is moving and you're stuck.
Whoa, I understand that.
Those small voices make you doubt yourself.
They make you wait.
They make you fear to change.
The problem isn't life.
It's the way we think about life.
And we believe it.
Okay.
We know this voice is bad.
But how bad?
Like a normal mistake bad or a big problem bad?
Hmm.
Think of it like a bad habit.
It starts small but slowly controls your life.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
And this habit causes three big problems.
First, it takes your energy.
My energy?
But I'm not doing anything.
I'm just thinking.
That's the thing.
Your brain is like a phone with too many apps open.
It's working all the time.
And it gets slow.
And the battery keeps going down even when you're not using it.
So you are saying my brain is using all my battery by worrying?
Yes.
You wake up already feeling tired because your mind keeps saying I'm not good enough or nothing will get better.
Wait.
That explains everything.
Some days I wake up tired even after eight hours of sleep.
Turns out I wasn't tired from work.
I was tired from worry.
Right.
When your head is full of doubt, your body feels it.
You can't focus.
You lose interest.
Everything feels heavy.
Man, my brain is a bad roommate.
I'm just tired from fighting my own thoughts.
You use all your energy to worry, so you have no energy to grow.
Then we have the second problem, waiting.
I'm sorry, what?
Do you know this line, Leo?
I'll do it tomorrow.
Ah, yes.
My favorite line when I'm feeling lazy.
I say that almost every day, though.
I'll go to the gym tomorrow.
I'll send the email tomorrow, change my life tomorrow.
And yet tomorrow never comes.
It's like waiting for the perfect weather before going outside.
But the perfect moment is not real.
Negative thoughts make you believe you're not ready, so you never start.
But if I know it's not real, then why do I still wait?
Keep saying tomorrow over again and again because you're scared to start, scared to fail, scared to look stupid, scared of what people will say.
Like, you want to join an English class, but you think, I probably can't do it.
So you say tomorrow, then next week, then never.
Or I want to go to the gym, but I tell myself, I'll just stop anyway, so I do nothing.
Exactly.
But you're not lazy, Leo.
You're just scared.
And that fear makes you wait.
That sounds so bad.
Please tell me the third one is a bit easier.
Oh, the third one is the worst.
You destroy yourself.
I hurt myself?
How?
Think about it.
Every time you say, I can't, you stop yourself from trying.
Um, can you give me an example?
Sure.
Imagine someone trying to learn English.
They make small mistakes and think, I'll never be good.
And then they stop.
And each time they stop, their brain says, see, you can't do it.
This makes them believe that thought even more.
Huh.
It's like teaching yourself to fail.
You give up before you start.
It happens to many people.
You don't fail because you're not smart.
You fail because you stop too early.
Wow, I make things harder for myself.
In a way, yes.
But the good news is, you can also be your own best friend.
Tell me then, what do I do?
Tell the voice, shh, let me live.
If only it were that easy.
But yes, there are ways.
It's like cleaning a messy room.
Oof, my brain is definitely a messy room.
You don't have to clean everything at once.
Just take one small step at a time.
All right, Gwen.
I'm ready for cleaning.
Step one, you have to see your negative thoughts.
See them?
You mean like write them down?
Exactly.
When your brain says, I can't do this.
Don't just believe it.
Ask, who said that?
Is it true?
Oh, so instead of believing it, I ask questions.
Like I talk back to my brain.
Yes.
Try writing these thoughts on paper.
When you see them written down, they don't feel so powerful.
Look at it and ask yourself, is this true or just fear?
Hmm.
Like if I write, my English is bad, I can ask, wait, how do I know that?
Yeah.
Or you can write down these three quick questions and answer them yourself.
Is this thought true?
Is this thought helping me?
And what is a better thought I can have right now?
Wait, wait.
For everyone learning English, let's do this together.
When you think, my English is not good enough, Ask yourself, is this true?
Can you understand some of this podcast right now?
Can you say, hello, my name is... If you can, then that thought is not true.
You are good enough.
You are learning.
Next question.
Is this thought helping you?
Thinking, I'm not good enough, just makes you feel bad and scared to try.
It doesn't help you learn, am I right?
Yeah.
So, what's a better thought for this?
Try, I am learning and improving every day.
Or, my English is getting better.
Exactly.
When you stop and question that voice, you can find a more true and helpful thought.
In the end, maybe you're just nervous, not bad.
Seeing it will help you step away from it.
Yeah.
Sometimes your brain likes to tell you the wrong things.
And don't forget to change your negative thoughts into positive ones.
Instead of, I'm not good at my job, say, I'm getting better at my work every day.
Oh, that feels so much better.
I'm not bad.
I'm just growing.
You don't need to be good enough.
You just need to keep going, step by step.
Ha!
It's like changing the channel on my TV from I always fail to I'm learning.
I like that one.
You choose what plays in your head.
Make it something kind and true.
Very interesting.
What's next, boss?
Step two, stay away from negative people.
The people around you can change your future.
Be around people who make you want to be better.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Some people always see the bad side of everything for no reason.
It makes me so tired.
That's why you should be around people who make you feel alive.
People who make you feel good and help you to grow.
So, if my friends always say, we can't do this, we can't do that, I should find new friends?
Maybe talk to them first.
But yes, the people around you are important, and not only people.
Try to fill your mind with positive things every day.
Read a good book, watch videos that teach you something, or listen to a podcast.
Power of the positive thinking.
On our channel is a good one, though.
Aha, I see what you did there.
The best part is you get to practice not only your language learning, you also get to build a positive mind at the same time.
Do two things at once.
I love it.
We've got to see and change it and stay away from bad energy.
Anything else?
Of course.
Step 3.
Let go of the past.
Now hold on a minute.
What does that have to do with this?
Well, negative thinking often comes from old experiences.
Remember that time I lost the important document you asked me to keep?
Oh yeah, I remember that.
You said sorry many times and even wanted to write it again.
I told you, it's okay.
I have another copy.
Then you found it in your bag.
I thought it was kind of funny.
Funny for you, but I still felt bad.
Even when you weren't angry.
That little memory stayed in my head, making me feel bad again and again.
Ah.
So, even when nothing is really wrong, your brain keeps thinking of old mistakes and makes you feel sad.
That's why we need to learn the lesson and then let go of the pain.
The past doesn't decide who you are today unless you let it.
Learn from it and then let the bad feeling go.
Don't carry that heavy bag.
Still, it's easier said than done.
But every time you let go of a little, You feel lighter.
And your power is in the present, not in the past.
But you did forgive yourself, right?
Please say you do, because I would be so sad to make you feel that way for so long.
Yes, Leo, I did forgive myself.
Thank you for caring.
I was just checking.
Oh, and I have this simple trick to actually let it go.
Ooh, what's that?
You write the bad memory or the negative thought on a piece of paper.
Then you tear it up.
Just like that?
Yeah.
Or if you can do it safely, you can burn the paper.
It's a simple action that tells your brain, I am letting this go.
It does not control me anymore.
That sounds very powerful.
It's like a small special event for your mind.
I know.
It's really special.
Anyway, more tips?
Right.
Step four, talk to yourself like a friend.
You mean like, hey, you're doing great, buddy.
Yeah.
Don't be mean to yourself.
Would you tell your friend you're stupid or you can't do anything?
Nuh-uh.
I'd say you can do it or I believe in you.
So say those things to yourself too.
Say i'm proud of myself for trying, instead of saying i'm stupid.
Say i'm learning instead of saying i'm so lazy.
Say i'm trying.
Wow, i never thought about that.
I'm much harder on myself than i am on my friends.
Many people are.
So let me ask our listeners something have you ever said nice things to yourself when you felt down?
What did you say?
If yes, tell us in the comments.
Share one line that helps you feel stronger when you're sad.
We want to know.
Finally, our last step.
Act like the person you want to be.
Huh?
What does that mean?
Well, if you want to be confident, start acting confident now.
Don't wait until you feel confident.
Oh, so fake it till you make it.
More like practice it until you become it.
When you think strong, you act strong.
When you act strong, you become, well, strong.
Your mind listens to you.
So speak with belief, not fear.
So if you want to be a good English speaker, you should start speaking now, even if you make mistakes.
Yes, because making mistakes is part of becoming good.
You know Gwen, All these steps are about thinking, but it makes me realize that action is so important.
Sometimes you don't need to think more.
You just need to move.
Uh-huh.
Keep going, Leo.
Like, even when I feel no energy, if I do one small thing like clean my desk for five minutes, I suddenly feel better.
It's like I'm proving to my brain that I can do something.
You're right, Leo.
It's like you stop the bad thoughts by moving your body.
It feels so good, right?
I… yeah.
My mind feels lighter.
It's like I'm in control again.
That's it.
You're taking back control, one small step at a time.
Wow.
You know, I feel different.
My brain is clean, my thoughts are fresh, and my confidence is growing.
That's the spirit, Leo.
Just remember, your mind won't change in one day.
It takes time.
So it's okay if I still hear the little negative voice sometimes?
Of course.
You just don't listen to it.
Every time it says, I can't answer, I will try anyway.
Repeat until it sticks.
And getting better doesn't need to be perfect.
Just be honest with your effort.
Hear that, everyone.
Let's practice that, step by step, thought by thought.
Good.
Now, I want to tell everyone something important.
I'm listening.
You can't control everything that happens, but you can always control how you think and how you react.
Kill negative thoughts, and you'll live with more positive energy every day.
Well, that's the end of it.
Thank you so much for listening, everyone.
Yeah, thank you for spending your time with us.
If this helped you, share it with someone who needs it.
Maybe your friend who always says, I can't.
And don't forget the free PDF.
It has all the words in practice from today.
Also, tell us what topics you want next.
Leave a comment below.
We read everything.
We really do.
Your ideas help us make better episodes.
One last thing before we go.
Your thoughts create your life.
Choose them carefully.
This is Podcast and Chill.
I'm Gwen.
And I'm Leo.
See you next time.
And remember... Be kind to your mind.
Bye, everyone.
