Okay, hi, my name is Jessica Williams and I feel pressured about being Conan's friend.
They make you say it.
It's crazy.
They make you say it.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is a hostage situation.
And I can't leave until I say it.
It should feel like pressure because no one naturally becomes my friend.
Fall is here.
Hear the yell.
Back to school.
Ring the bell.
Brand new shoes, walkin' loose, climb the fence, books and pens.
I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
I can tell that we are gonna be friends I've had a lot of dental work this morning.
I went in, my dentist, she does a wonderful job.
She's really terrific.
But she had to work on the front of my face and she had to work on the back on a molar.
And I like the way I said molar.
And she shot me up with so much Nolocaine that my face is all floppy.
But are you also kind of drunk?
You seem drunk.
You didn't even say hi.
You just came in and was like, let's go.
Press record.
I am not drunk.
You told us to stop talking.
What a terrible thing to say.
It is 1.40.
In the afternoon.
No, I am not drunk.
Are you drunk off the Novocaine?
Like, is it affecting you?
No, it doesn't.
I don't think Novocaine.
I'd like to have a cycle farm here who tells us what the effects are.
But no, I don't think I'm.
I think I've been sitting in a chair at a dentist's office for three hours while they played some Spotify playlist which I didn't enjoy.
Yeah.
What was it?
You don't want to say.
I don't want to.
Can you say the genre?
It was just a lot of wailing.
Maybe that was patience from the other room.
No, it wasn't.
I like the patience more.
It was Halloween sound effects.
No, it wasn't doing any good.
Any hoots.
And there was no opening like after we record this podcast?
No, they could.
OK.
I thought it was going to be this morning and it got pushed a little later.
And I actually went in much earlier than I was supposed to and was like you know.
I got to record today.
And I care about my fans, the people out there.
Also, there was part of me in the back of my head that thought I really want to get on mic while my mouth is still mushy.
Because I thought, it's kind of funny.
I mean, literally, if I had a drink right now, it would all come out my mouth.
Yeah.
Can you do it?
No.
Yeah, take a drink.
You have a drink.
Please.
I don't want to dribble all over myself.
Go do it.
Make a fool of yourself.
Yeah, I have other ways to do that.
I don't need a prop drink to make a fool of myself.
I can just talk and share my opinions and thoughts that occur to me.
Thoughts fuck suffering, fuckatash.
No, but you know, here's the thing.
Uh, she gave me an injection up here by my what's this?
The incisor right, what's this one?
The canine, the canine.
What'd you say to me?
I said i don't know fucking teeth.
I know what a molar is, but once we get past the molars, what is happening?
You're the mother of two little boys and you just went i don't know fucking teeth, And you grab your crotch.
Like, take it easy there.
So what happens is when they get this nerve up front, it deadens your nose.
It's going up to my eye.
I think she gave me way too much.
And I think it's because I mentioned to her, well, first of all, I'm a redhead.
And the old saying is that we're harder to anesthetize.
So I think she gave me a lot extra.
And she actually did inject my eye at one point.
Oh, wow.
Just for fun to see what it would do.
So, yeah, I don't feel this side of my face.
And I raced in here.
I swear to God, I was bombing down Shunshet Boulevard to get here fast.
Shunshet Boulevard.
Well, I put a little English on the ball.
But I bombed down here so that I could get here before it wore off because I just want the content.
And I swear to God, I think my face looks a little shaggy on this show.
It does.
It does.
I looked at you and I was like, something's off.
Yeah, something's way off.
Can you see, look at me straight on.
Oh, yeah, a little bit.
And you sound a little bit like Holly Hunter.
You've got those extra ashes and like a Connery-Holly Hunter mix.
Sean Connery and Holly Hunter had a baby.
And little James Stewart.
And I'm talking to James.
Do you know me?
Do you know me, Mr. Gower?
It's me.
It's George Bailey.
Knock, knock.
Who's that?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery.
Yay!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub.
I'm drowning.
Oh, no.
This is the best ever.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Go fuck yourself.
There it is.
I'm busy trying to jerk off in here.
You didn't see that one coming, did you, kids?
How's a guy supposed to jerk off?
Are you aware that Dwayne is still in there with you?
Oh, no!
There's a dead guy in a tub while I'm jerking it.
This mini play brought to you by Masterpiece Theatre.
As narrated by old Mushmouth Johnson.
Yeah.
Man, I really don't want this to go away.
I'm enjoying it.
You're alive.
What's wrong with me that I raced out of the doctor's office?
I know.
There's a parking garage.
I drove through the little arm.
I didn't even pay.
Shattered it. and drove 90 miles an hour down Sunset Boulevard.
I was like, get out of the way while my face is so mushy I've got to record.
You cut through Central Park and we're not even in New York.
We're not even in New York.
Bodies everywhere.
You know, good times.
Good times.
And may this never wear off.
Well, let's get into it.
Okay.
Tell us about our guest today.
Let me put on my glasses.
Oh, no.
He's got sunglasses on.
Troopy face and sunglasses on.
I got other regular glasses on, but they're not as funny as these.
My guest today was a correspondent on The Daily Show and now stars in the Apple TV Plus series Shrinking.
I'm thrilled she's here today.
Of course, when I talked to her, my face wasn't shut up with Novocaine, so.
Jessica Williams, welcome.
I wanna do a little backstory, which is I have, like a lot of people, been a fan of yours for a long time, and then there was an event that we did together and we got to be together on stage, and it was a Broadway production.
Of Gypsy.
You and Gypsy?
Yeah, we did it.
It was so great.
I went for it.
For 15,000 people.
Yeah.
No, but we did this event together and I had so much fun with you riffing.
Just, we could finish each other's sentences.
It was really fun.
I walked off stage and I called my booker, Paula Davis, and I said-
Why hasn't she been on the podcast?
So you screamed at her?
I screamed at her.
And then I realized later on that I was off my meds.
And we had a terrible time.
And then they told me later on, all you did was scream at Jessica the whole time.
Yeah.
And then he made us go out and play the slots.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I was like, quarter me, quarter me.
Quarter?
Quarter.
Where have you been?
I never heard that phrase before, quartering.
Is it?
It's not a phrase.
It's not?
It's got to be more than a quarter now, right?
Of course it is.
It's like a tap, right?
I don't gamble.
Me neither.
I don't know.
And then is someone standing next to you with your quarters and handing you the quarters?
It used to be you and then it was David Hopping.
And I'd say, quarter me and you'd give me like 15 quarters because that's what it costs now.
But we were just talking.
I mean, here's the thing.
I walked in the door.
You got here just before me and we start talking.
There's no artifice.
It's so it's it's so easy to talk to you that we started getting into stuff right away.
That was really good.
The next thing I know, we were talking about how we'd love to take a like a.
Orient Express train ride, all of us.
Yeah.
But there'd have to be a murder.
And then I remembered Sona was on a cruise where there was a murder and you want to hear about this.
Yeah, that's my question.
So because sometimes I hear when there's a murder on a cruise, they have to put them in the freezer or refrigerator somewhere.
Yeah.
What do you know?
Tell me everything.
I care about that specific thing.
And all the witnesses have to go in the refrigerator, too.
She was the murderer.
Oh, it was you.
Yeah.
We were at dinner, and then you could hear this.
Who's we?
Me, my husband, Tack, and then two of our friends who went on the cruise.
This was in Alaska.
And then a voice comes on the intercom.
The entire cruise can hear it.
And you go... all medical and security personnel to the ninth floor.
And you could hear the panic in their voice.
And then we were like, oh, what's happening?
But we didn't stop eating our dinner.
We thought it could be an active shooter.
That's what they did in Titanic.
They were like, oh, that sounds bad.
Well, we've got two hours before we go under.
So I'll have more of the veal.
And then we heard it again and you could see all the employees start to get worried.
And then the next day we were docked and we were supposed to be still cruising.
And the captain came on and he said yesterday there was a domestic disturbance and a woman from Utah has died.
And then we were all searching and there were all these news stories.
Her husband died.
It's always the husband.
And the security came in while he was dragging her body to the balcony to throw it overboard.
Security came in because I guess they heard the noise, you told me.
And can you imagine they like pushed open the door, the door was open.
They go in and the guy has her body halfway out the porthole window.
Stop.
And he's like, uh, I can explain.
I was pulling her in.
She died.
Then a bird pulled her out and I'm trying to pull her back in.
You know what it looks like?
Insane.
So he was caught.
It's crazy he was actually caught in a murder.
I feel like that never... I watch a lot of true crime and Dateline.
And it just never happens that they're caught right in the middle of it.
That is so sad.
And then, well, it got even sad.
Like, the FBI came on board.
They were interviewing people.
And then we followed the story.
He got convicted.
Mm-hmm.
And then he lost his appeal.
And then he killed himself.
Yeah.
In his jail cell.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Sorry.
That's all the time we have, Jessica.
But thank you for being here.
You were pressured.
Thank you.
It's exactly the way I imagined it.
We're going to get into more murder, but first.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to say you were the youngest.
I think still to this day the youngest Daily Show correspondent ever.
You were seven years old.
I thought it was too soon.
I was like, I'm a baby.
I never understood.
Your take on the news was terrible.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
It's always like, I'm tired.
That's what, my poopy diapy.
My poopy diapy.
Poopy diapy.
You know you guys would be talking about like complex issues in the news that needed real.
I'm sorry, I thought that was a little early for you.
But that's the thing about Jon Stewart is he really pushes satire and that's what he's looking for.
So when he saw first, nobody knows how I got it.
Like, I remember I was auditioning.
We're on Larchmont right now.
Alison Jones casting office used to be here.
I don't know if she's still here, but I was auditioning for something else.
And it was a Will Ferrell movie and they were looking for six year olds.
And then Alison Jones was like, you might not be right for this, but they're passing The Daily Show.
Do you want to come back and put something on tape?
And I was going to Cal State Long Beach at the time.
That's where I went.
You did?
And did you do comedy sports?
Yeah, I did comedy sports since high school.
What?
Yeah.
Did you grow up here?
Uh-huh.
Whittier.
Whittier?
Yeah.
Dude, everybody I know from Whittier is always like, I'm from Whittier.
Trust me.
A day doesn't go by.
I mean, I've been behind him.
I've seen him at a traffic stop.
True story.
Get out of his car and start shouting at the driver stopped behind him waiting for the light to change.
I'm from Whittier.
I'm not from that part of Whittier.
I'm from Whittier.
I'm from Whittier.
I'm from Whittier.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't hurt me.
Yeah, I'm from Torrance.
Oh, my God.
And she's from Hacienda Heights.
Oh, cool.
Awesome.
Hell yeah, locals.
You never meet people from L.A.
I was born in Casas.
No, stop.
Casas.
Del Blanco.
What?
What?
Casas Del Blanco?
Yeah, it's 40 minutes outside of Casitas Las Muchachas.
I'm telling you, we had a great air hockey team.
Yeah.
It's just this guy.
Do you guys have air hockey in here?
This office is really cool.
No, you won't spring for it.
No?
You know what I do remember?
I remember when I was hosting the late night show and we were always under so much pressure early on like we're going to get canceled.
This isn't going to work.
Oh, my God.
Is this... And...
I think it was maybe the second or third Christmas when the nickel finally dropped that we were doing okay.
There was really good press.
The network seemed happy and Christmas hit.
And I was.
You know, when you take off a backpack after a long hike, you feel like you can fly, like you're floating.
That's how I felt.
And so I just started running around buying presents for everybody.
And I remember I was buying presents for all these people at the show and so full of joy.
And we were doing our last show before the Christmas break and we never used to get breaks.
And then I went insane.
I ran downstairs and ran through the streets to a store like a Brookstone and bought a giant air hockey table.
It was bigger than I was and I was carrying it down the street and people were like I think, Colonel Bryant, he's got a giant box and he's laughing like a maniac.
And I took it upstairs, and I went, hey, everybody, I got us air hockey.
So it's so funny you would bring that up.
But you actually did.
I did.
Did you know about that?
No, but didn't you bring it up?
Maybe.
I don't know.
I felt it.
That was what happened in Vegas around the slots.
It was like...
But I love that feeling.
I really like giving gifts.
I really do.
Especially like I like when you just like nail it.
Like I love when you nail it.
And that's like exactly the person you thought about it ahead of time.
That's like the best feeling.
Like this year, I'm all about like a little pizza oven.
So now I'm thinking about...
I think this will come out after we wrap, but I think for my glam team I want to get them little pizza ovens for their house.
Wow, that is really nice.
You know, because there's the Gosney and there's the Ooni now.
Have you thought of the Solo Stove pizza oven?
Yeah, those are cool.
I like the Solo Stove.
Do they still advertise with this?
It's been a while.
The Solo Stove?
Oh, fuck the Solo Stove.
You love it?
You got it because they advertise?
Why?
People love the Solo Stove.
First of all, I do legitimately.
I never ever, I will never shill a product that I don't honestly believe.
You always shill a product.
Okay.
That I don't believe in.
And I think those missiles are doing their job.
Oh, boy.
I'm constantly, our best advertiser is the Rand Corporation.
They make a missile.
I mean, it kills everything.
But no, the Solo Stove is, I do like it, and they do make a pizza oven that we have back here.
But I'm saying this hey, Solo Stove, if you wandered away from Conan O'Brien, you made a terrible mistake.
But I think a pizza oven is a great idea.
It's nice.
It's nice.
It's like they have like their houses that they're doing.
And I just built a pizza oven at my house.
And I just used one of those DIY like pizza oven kits.
And I'll tell you, we used it for the first time a few weeks ago.
The joy of like putting a pizza in there.
You're just like.
What?
It rises in 90 seconds?
It's like you're laughing.
We were like, it felt like we were going to live forever when we were doing it.
It was so great.
I was like, this is amazing.
Like, wow.
Who knew that heat and dough.
It's like ancient.
Cut to ancient Greeks.
Stone age, pre-Bronze age man.
Yeah.
Meat plus dough.
But it is funny how removed we get.
Yes.
In our world, we have apps, we have all this stuff.
And when someone really introduces us to, this is what a fresh orange tastes like, we lose our mind.
We're like, what?
This whole time?
Yeah.
Like how to orange Starburst.
When someone explains to me kind of roughly how the planets move, I'm like, what?
Yeah.
We've got to get the word out.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
The moon moves with us.
Insane.
I saw like a, you ever just catch a SpaceX launch and you're like, what the?
You know, and they're like blasting like eight satellites in the air that you have no idea like what that is and why.
That's insane.
This guy's just blasting satellites out into the like unregulated, like just nonstop.
He is a Bond villain.
He is a Bond villain.
But it also feels like metaphorical the way he's like, forgive me, spreads his seed on Earth.
It's like he's doing it in space.
Yeah, like splooshing everywhere.
It's tough, man.
He's colonizing space.
Massive, erect rockets.
Well, because they look so phallic, more than just a normal rocket.
And he calls them, it's like cock one, cock two, cock three.
We've had a failure of cock four, which, by the way, I've been there.
Yeah, it was tough.
I want to ask you because... Cock four was tough.
I mean, at least you have four cocks.
It was tough to see cock four go down.
It was really a dark day for space travel, dude.
It's funny because I'm always curious when I'm talking to someone who I find effortlessly funny and real.
Okay, please tell me, where does this come from?
What is your origin story, your Marvel origin story?
Who's showing you stuff when you're a kid and what are you watching and what are you seeing?
Yeah.
My grandma was really into comedy.
So she would watch you.
She watched Conan.
She lived in the valley.
So she would let me stay up and watch stuff with her.
She liked like early adult swim.
She liked South Park.
This is cool.
I mean, this is a very cool.
My grandmother, had she lived to be 120, would not have shown me Space Ghosts.
Yeah, yeah.
We watched a lot of Space Ghosts.
That's very cool.
I know, isn't that weird?
And I can say I've watched Saturday Night Live Mad TV and she was kind of immobile because she was like diabetic and had a lot of health problems.
She was like a Vegas lady.
Like she lived really hard, like Colt 45 every night, like smoked for a long time.
Like she was like very crass, like ah!
Like in a fun way.
So it explained there was like a bodiness to her that I really like loved.
So I think she really got in there.
And then the year I tried out for comedy sports, my high school improv team.
I think she passed away.
So that was when I started my improv career.
But aside from just loving comedy and always feeling like it was a valid medium, I'm just...
I do think everything's kind of inherently interesting.
And I think that I'm very curious about the way the world is.
And I feel like I know a little bit about a lot of things and it's interesting.
And I also like when I'm talking to people, finding out what they're interested in.
It's like interesting to me when someone lights up about shoe shining or something.
And so that's just kind of how I live my life.
Well, that's what I got right away is genuine.
You have that light of, I want to know, I want to play.
And combined with humility of, I don't know everything.
There's a lot of stuff I don't know.
And whenever someone comes into a room telling me how much they know, I know that they're not a smart person.
Yeah.
No.
Wisdom is you don't know anything.
Yeah.
Wisdom is the more you learn, the less you know.
That's right.
And every few years I find I'm 35.
Every few years I find I look back and think oh, I didn't know as much as I thought I did, even three years ago.
But there's something very comforting in like not being done.
Mm hmm.
You know, there's something really on shrinking the show that I'm on.
There is something really cool about watching Harrison Ford's arcs, because there's this is a guy who's still in progress.
And there's something to like.
You know, even somebody who's in his 80s is like still learning lessons.
And there's something really comforting about that.
So I really care about that.
I look at Harrison Ford that way.
I look at Martin Short that way, who I just saw in New York.
I look at Steve Martin that way.
I love looking at people who are from the generation ahead of me, Who they're killing it, they're trying things, they're up on everything, they're not calcifying.
And I think that's the one thing I never wanted to do is be the person who's like I don't know what this new comedy is.
That's tough.
I don't you know, what is this tumor on it make in his face is you know?
I just think I'm always trying to and it, you know, let's I want to access.
I get excited when I see new people being really funny funny in ways that it never occurred to me.
It makes me enthusiastic thing i don't i think we were talking about this too i don't like pretension and comedy like if there's like uh when i was coming up in comedy with all of the like companies that i did and whatever they're now in retrospect there were like these guys that were just dicks about comedy like teaching me that i think about all these classes that i took where it was just like someone who really understands improv and sketch teaching class with being so So mean.
It's nothing worse than the young improv man.
Oh, my God.
Like so mean for no reason.
And then when I got The Daily Show and I got to work with John, it was like a revelation of like oh, you don't have to be a mean boss.
Like, you know, there's guys.
I disagree here.
I think cruelty has its place.
Right, Eduardo?
Sure.
I thought I let you go a while ago, Eduardo.
Eduardo's weeping.
I don't know if you can see it.
I also find there's something about and it would be true for John on The Daily Show, I think it was true for me when there's a volume of work that needs to be done, like we've got to make these shows all the time.
You find that when someone else has a good idea, when someone else can get the laughs, it doesn't cost me anything.
The boat, it's a rising sea that lifts all boats.
Like, I'm good.
I don't care who gets.
And I think that is I think sometimes I mean I haven't imagined that sometimes, when there's very little space, like sometimes I saw bad behavior at Saturday Night Live, because it's what there's.
20 shows a year which, when you think about it, if you take away the music, it's not a lot of real estate.
A lot of people fighting to get their sketch on.
And if you've been working all week and you come in to see the board on Wednesday night to see if you got in or not and your sketch is in the dead man's, the little index card has been moved to the bottom of the board.
It's devastating.
Yeah.
You know, there can be some sharp elbows because there's less space, I think.
Yeah.
And the turnover there is really crazy.
You know, it's not just like, oh, you had a bad few weeks.
It's like, oh, no, no.
It matters.
My livelihood.
You know, it's like this is like our careers.
You know, this is like something that.
You know, we want to have sustainable jobs from this business.
That would be really, really great.
And I found that when I was at Upright Citizens Brigade when I got The Daily Show and it was sort of that thing where the next move was either Saturday Night Live or The Daily Show.
And, you know, both are great.
I have friends who have done Saturday Night Live and been really happy with it.
But for me The Daily Show was a great fit because I'm really gentle and like very sensitive and I needed like someone to be really nice to me.
That's the only – I do way better.
I think you made the right call.
Yeah.
You never know.
But I do really – I do a lot better when people are nicer to me.
I don't thrive when someone's like withholding.
I also think –
My guess would be a gig on The Daily Show as a correspondent means you will get on air.
Yeah.
It's guaranteed.
I think that's a very smart move.
Obviously, clearly I can say it now because I'm armchair quarterbacking, but...
That is, I would like to think that's what I would have advised you to do because SNL, there are cast members who were there for a year and a half, but you didn't really see them much.
They didn't get the time.
And there are people that didn't work on SNL and then went on, and I know one of your heroes is Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
I mean she.
Technically it didn't work out for her at SNL and she's become one of the iconic comedians of all time.
Veep for my money is one of.
Her performance in Veep is one of the most flawless things I've seen.
I think about it all the time.
And the writing on that show, and it's so... It's just tight.
It's tight and filthy.
Everything's precise.
It's filthy.
It's so mean.
It's so filthy.
I think about that performance all the time.
The amount of nuance that she has for every single moment.
She's always listening.
That's the kind of actor I want to be.
And I'm always...
Like even I did like high school plays and stuff.
And I had really great drama teachers.
I'm like the product of a really good LAUSD drama program that was underfunded, but I had great performing arts teachers.
And they would be like If you think we can't see you back there because you're not in the front of the stage, we're going to throw our sandals at you because you think we can't see you.
You better freaking smile.
I don't care.
You know, this is the famous sandal technique.
This is the LAUSD like sandal technique.
But it still sticks with me to this day.
And Julia is totally doing that.
She's always listening.
I didn't catch that last part, but she and the other thing that's very cool about her is that she doesn't.
She's one of those people that doesn't know.
She's Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
Like if I any time spent telling her how amazing she is at her work, she'd be like what are we talking about here?
You know, what do you think of this avocado?
Oh, that's Harrison.
That's Harrison.
Yeah, exactly.
It's the same as Harrison Ford.
A hundred percent.
They're like people that have been famous for so long that it's like.
Were you intimidated by Harrison Ford?
Because when you first see him, it can be.
It's jarring.
It can be.
Oh well, you had that experience here on the podcast, where he walked in and he sat right in that seat.
Yeah.
And most like amazing actor of my life.
He's the guy.
Yeah.
No, he's the guy.
Yeah.
Anytime I think there's like, you think of the guy you've got, Tom Cruise, kind of like the movie star.
A weird guy.
Tom Cruise, weird guy.
Yeah, Harrison's weird too.
Tom, you know.
I'll say this too.
I'm going to say something.
I've worked closely with Tom Cruise a bunch of times and spent like time with him when we were shooting something.
Well, so have I, just so we're clear.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I was like, wait, I will believe you.
I'm new.
That was Tomas Cruz.
Oh, I went on the cruise to Tomas.
To St.
Tom's.
No, Tom Cruz is incredibly professional and also really nice to everyone on set.
I've only heard that.
I don't doubt it.
No, he is.
I'm going to stick up for Tom Cruise here.
Love it.
He was just great.
I was really impressed.
And every time I've done something with him, I've seen the same guy over and over and over again.
But Harrison, there's something about...
I remember so clearly.
You weren't born yet, but when Star Wars came out it was a cultural earthquake.
I had never seen there was so much explosion of fuss about this movie, and my brothers and I went and we saw it.
Mm-hmm.
I had never seen anything look like that before.
I was on the, you say, edge of your seat, total edge of my seat, floored.
And then it kind of changed a lot of things.
And Harrison Ford is the one that I think he popped in this way that maybe even Lucas didn't expect.
Mm-hmm.
But like that first scene, I think, in the bar he pops and when he's bragging about the Millennium Falcon and he's a wise ass, he popped the way Clark Gable popped.
30 years before the way Jimmy Cagney.
He just popped as, and that's the thing that's very cruel about movies.
Movies say this is the person.
That's right.
And it's Julia Roberts, it's her.
Yeah.
And you can do everything you want and the camera will just say, nope, it's that one.
You're okay, but it's that one.
And that's Harrison Ford and it's been his, I mean, our whole life.
This is actually really perfect.
I've been thinking about this a lot because we watched Andor, the last season of Andor.
Perfect.
Yes.
Oh, I love Andor.
I love Andor.
I love it.
I'm glad you've seen it.
I binged with my son.
We binged both seasons.
Hold on.
You can jump in here.
We did this.
We binged both seasons with my wife, Diego Luna.
I love Andor.
I'm very much passionately in love with Diego Luna.
I love that.
He's the best.
No, no.
And I'm going to take this even further.
I'm having surgery to be able to have a child with Diego Luna.
It's very complicated.
Let me say this, very painful.
Very painful.
They don't put you under for that one.
No.
Have you checked with him?
Is he even in on this?
I'm going to do this first.
Okay.
Yeah, smart.
And it's been suggested you're not the first one to say, hey, should you?
And I'm like, no, no, no, no.
I want to go to him with everything ready to, you know, so that's my choice.
This has been nine months of intense surgeries.
Well, so we did.
Did you do this?
We did Rogue One right after.
Yes.
And then we just started like all over again.
We just kept going.
That's next.
Oh, really?
We did.
We did.
That's living.
You want.
No, it feels good.
No, it feels good.
One day you'll have the money to live this kind of life.
You'll have the Disney Plus account.
I spent it all on the cruise to Tomas.
That was your mistake.
You did the same thing.
I mean, I watched both seasons and I think it is.
You know, I think my shows this year are Severance and Andor for just craftsmanship.
There's TV and then there's movies.
The wall has fallen between them.
Yes, technically movies.
No, they're so cinematic.
Like, I love a ride.
Yes.
And I feel like Andor did such a good job with the sets and the locations and the specificity of, like God, it just looked gorgeous.
And it broke my heart 35 times and it elated me 36 times.
Were you saying you liked it because it like blurred the line?
I loved that that writer creator is so talented and all the performers are so amazing.
And as you said, they created these worlds.
All of them seemed completely authentic.
It was true to itself, meaning it would give you really bad news.
It would give you good news.
And that's everything a movie does.
So now that commercials are no longer a part of these streaming shows, it's really the same magic.
We used to go to movies because I'm going to give you money not to show me a commercial.
You can show some shit up front, but once Star Wars starts, you're not going to 15 minutes in go, you know, we've got a new soap for the cracks and pits and everywhere in between.
Which, by the way, I didn't... I hate when they're graphic.
I hate when it's like... So you're like, I was sweating all over, even under my tit.
You're like, what?
Are you tired of tit odor?
But you know, we're going to take a sidetrack here because those commercials are everywhere.
They are.
And they say things like it's for pits and privates and well, assholes too.
And you're like, we get it.
We're okay.
You've said enough.
Didn't we used to have an ad for something like that here?
Luxe bidet.
Yeah, luxe bidet.
Luxe bidet.
A bidet is different.
A bidet is like We're the only ones.
Americans are the only ones that only use bidets.
We should have more bidets, I think.
But this whole... They got to come with a warrant.
I'm watching basketball.
Yeah, go ahead.
And this lady's like, my tits reek.
And you're like, okay.
And then also, don't tell them.
Don't tell who?
Don't tell everybody else our tits reek.
Like, what's...
It's kind of weird.
But they double down on it too.
They keep doubling down and they'll say, and you'll say, no, no, I really get it.
And then later in the ad, they'll say, and remember the taint.
That small area.
Each to one inch and a half between genitals and asshole.
Yep.
When yours stinks.
And I'm horrified.
What's happened?
I asked I was thinking about Harrison and I a couple months ago.
I was like dude, what's your tits like?
He's like, what?
No, I asked him, I was like, I liked Andor so much.
We were in the middle.
I was like, have you seen Andor?
And he's like, what?
I was like, have you seen Andor?
He's like, what is that?
And I was like um, it's this thing where it's like, and he was like no, I would never he's like, I would never watch it.
And I was like, right, of course not.
Like, you don't want to talk about this anymore at all.
You're Han Solo.
But when I watched, when I watched him again while cause we're still in production for the show, we're like finishing up.
It was so surreal to see this like guy so deeply hot in Star Wars.
He's just so, he pops in that way.
And I cannot believe in my insane, goofy career that I get to work with this guy.
And a couple Fridays ago there was a really tender scene that we shot for season three.
That was just he and I.
And I stayed to like run lines with him while they were setting up the scene.
And it was a big, it was a big scene between our characters.
And he, just the whole crew, was silent, which is what happens when it's like they know it's a big scene.
And he's like coming into my character's office and he's sitting across like as far as Conan is.
And he walks in and he sits and he does this scene.
And it was like, almost like you know, in Oppenheimer, when the blast actually goes off and they put on their glasses and it's like silent.
It was that.
And he was silent, destroying.
He was like absolutely destroying the scene in every way, like every single line.
He was weeping, he was joyful, he was all of those things.
But it was one of those moments where they had to come in and be like okay jessica, you're like weeping, so I don't know if you'd be weeping as the.
I was like no, this guy is giving me, like this guy is the.
This guy is the best.
He's he's the goat.
And I see a lot of great I've seen a lot of great actors.
But it was.
It was one of those moments where I just felt like no, this is actually like the greatest living actor.
And this is someone that I get to to work with.
But it was like being too close to a to a fire.
It was insane.
Yeah.
And I work with him all the time.
But it was like chill.
Like I was getting chills while he was doing it.
And you'll know the scene when you see it.
But it was like very like, what did I get to do in my life to be here to work with this guy?
It's insane.
Do you have the number of your surgeon?
Because I might want to get that.
And you're going to be awake.
Turns out he's not that good.
There have been some infections.
It was crazy.
But you know what's interesting is?
I have learned, I've had the same feeling of how did this get to happen for me?
And I'm learning.
I'm quite a bit older than you.
I've learned over time to just my grandfather, who was a traffic cop in Worcester Massachusetts, in the 1920s and 30s.
He used to have this saying.
He was kind of like W.C.
Fields when he was older.
He was really funny.
He was W.C.
Fields, sorry.
Thank you.
I think one of the great comics.
Yeah.
My little chickadee.
Oh.
He was always playing.
I know.
Is it kind of Looney Tunes-y?
It sounds like chickadee.
Run along, kid.
You bother me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm with you.
He worked with Mae West.
Cool.
Everything I'm saying is digging this I'm old reference, but I do think people should know W.C.
Fields because he might be one of my favorite comedians of all time.
And his stuff is as funny today as it was in the 30s, 40s.
Amazing.
Anyway, he was this kind of had all these sayings and used to say take what you can get and ask for more.
Like he was going against the Catholic.
I don't deserve this.
I shouldn't have this.
Oh, who me?
He was like, when something good comes your way, take it.
Yeah.
You know, and I think you've grab it and just take it because there's some trouble coming down the road.
So just enjoy this.
We're all going to die.
Yeah.
I have a way around that.
You have a surgeon?
Yeah, I have a surgeon for that too.
Hold on.
I think I'm going to keep this and put it on my board, but I'm going to write.
Do you mind if I write WC?
Fields so I don't forget?
Cool.
Can I say just from, what is this?
Is this calligraphy?
No, it's just, it's, you know.
That's an expensive pen?
That's a nice pen?
It is not an expensive pen.
Do you like expensive pens?
This is a 20-something dollar pen, which is, you know, not a big pen.
Can I try it?
Yeah, I really love it.
You use this the most?
I draw and scribble all the time.
And I love that.
And it has little cartridges.
Anyway, I should do it.
Kaleiko.
Kaleiko.
And a special pad.
Conan, stop it.
Inner voice not helping.
Inner voice too late.
I have a question for you.
I have a question for you, which is there's this path people like us that have this affinity for comedy where you're going along, you're doing stuff, and then there's a hard right and a hard left.
Mm-hmm.
Stand up or improv?
I don't know about you because I think you'd be, but you chose.
I'm guessing you chose improv, to the exclusion of that's what I did.
I kind of knew, I really love great standups.
I admire what they do.
I'm fascinated by it.
I'm always telling John Mulaney, I don't know how you do that.
I really have great respect for them, but I always knew my thing is over here where I'm in scenes and I'm babbling in the moment.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have that too.
I like, like if we were in school and it was like doing an exam and I had to do like an essay in an exam as opposed to like an ABC.
Like I would do an essay and just get like an A on it because I could like bullshit my way through and figure it out and just babble babble, babble.
But I started in high school doing doing improv, because we had an improv team like the layout of comedy sports is, or they used to just have high school teams, like you would have a football team and then you would play whose line is it anyway, against different.
It's so weird to make it competitive, but also... It was fake competitive.
Yeah, it was like the ref could decide.
It's more so you're just doing the short form style thing.
But I loved acting in scenes.
I knew I wanted to be an actor.
And then I learned, oh, I have an improv team and this is a way I could go.
And then I just kind of stuck with that.
But I like...
The teams, like I, like you know, stand up is very like isolated and in your head and you're working out bits and then you're presenting them.
And that's so vulnerable to me that it kind of scares me quite a bit.
And I do admire stand up.
But with improv and sketch and then with acting, like I knew I wanted to do that.
And what I?
I didn't know what the path was for that, exactly because I didn't want to be like a lifelong sketch person.
But being able to fold that into my acting technique is really helpful.
And so, even at the daily show, you're...
I got that when I was 22.
So it felt like I was college, like in grad school, because I was learning so much and I didn't finish school.
And I was working with all these writers and field producers.
So we were not only that, but then I was traveling, kind of doing that man on the street or sitting in someone's living room and interviewing them, saying like we should all eat babies.
Like, I don't know, stuff like that.
Like interviewing people, you know, face to face doing those field pieces.
It's a legitimate view.
We should all eat babies.
There's a lot of them and they're nutritious.
Yeah.
And yeah, so the baby eaters, I would like interview them.
And then we would have to go back and edit these things for a couple of weeks, to the taste of mostly one man, which was John.
So then I learned how to produce.
So it became a bit more amorphous, where I didn't realize this.
But I was like co-producing and co-directing these little bits.
And so I learned so much about storytelling in that way.
It is great training if you're ever going to host a late night show.
I don't know if there are going to be more of those in the future.
But if you're going to host something and interview people, that is improv.
It's listening, responding.
Don't go negative.
Don't stop the flow.
Don't make it about you.
Oh, no, I disagree with that.
Jessica, the one thing I've learned in this talking to you is that I'm an impressive guy.
But I do.
And then I'm from El Cacho Nachos.
El Cacho Nachos.
You're Peggy Hill Spanish from like King of the Hill where it's like boom.
But yeah, no, acting, when I'm in the zone, is just reacting 100%.
And even with the daily shows, sometimes with a field piece, you can just get out with a look.
Like if I can just get out with like a...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like a Jim Halpert, like, I love it.
You can say so much.
And so I really like, for me, acting is natural listening.
And Julia is perfect at that.
We're talking about, especially in Veep.
I mean, she did it in Elaine, as Elaine in Seinfeld.
She did it throughout her career, all these different shows, all these different things.
But, you know, she's always in it completely, 100%.
And it's commitment.
Just commitment.
Oh, I believe in commitment.
Commitment.
I hate half-ass bullshit.
I hate it.
And it works for some people.
I know.
Those are small.
Eduardo's watching.
What football match are you watching right now?
Come on, Eduardo.
We busted him recently.
Were you watching something?
I was watching the soccer game.
Let him watch it.
It's great content.
Let him watch it.
He's got to listen to you guys talk.
But you know what?
We only knew because someone sitting next to him sold him out.
Commitment to the bit.
Commitment to the bit.
Or a betrayal of a good friend.
Same diff.
But I don't like, like, half-assed stuff.
I don't like cool comedy.
I don't like cool.
We were talking about that.
I like earnestness 100%.
And I've, comedy sports was really earnest.
And that got, you know, it's not, like, UCB is cool.
And I'm a UCB person, so it's totally fine.
But there is sort of a punkness about UCB that's different than Groundlings and Second City.
Comedy Sports would get a lot of flack.
It's the goofiest, dorkiest one.
It's so dorky.
Why would it get flack?
It's really franchise.
It's gimmicky.
It's kind of the Disneyland of it's clean.
A lot of church people would come to Comedy Sports.
Yes, it's clean.
They pass a plate afterwards.
Well, truly, if you actually, if you like said a curse word or something.
You get a brown bag foul.
Brown bag foul.
The ref would put a brown bag over your head.
Okay.
That wouldn't work well here.
But and you know it's funny, as I used to think like, because it was so not cool, especially coming up in like the UCB heyday.
I was like, you know, just in comedy sports since I was in high school that I didn't learn anything.
I was like, oh, this is just some bull bull that I do.
But no, I learned so much.
It keeps you to be tight on what your tools are limited there.
Yeah.
Four minutes.
You play with different people like.
Stage time.
So quickly.
I mean, time in the cockpit is the answer.
And the thing that when you couldn't use foul language taught you you had to be funny.
You couldn't have a crutch.
Parameters.
Yeah.
So now I can like act.
I mean, we say fuck on the show a lot, but I can turn it on and turn it off.
And also that What's great about comedy sports is there's like this respect for the audience.
You want to give them like a really premium experience.
Whereas other things is like, hey, welcome.
We're going to do this.
We're going to do some make them ups.
Can I get a suggestion?
But comedy sports is like, hello, this is the thing that we're going to do.
And it teaches you like in order to satire something, you have to love it, as opposed to satiring something and just coming from this like, look at this stupid show.
You know, it taught me earnestness.
I feel the same.
In a way that I'll continue to have forever.
You know, it's a good lesson.
I'm not afraid to try stuff.
Did you study theater at Cal State Long Beach?
No, no, I didn't.
I was doing a Bryson's Brigade.
I, like, convinced my parents to let me go to Cal State Long Beach half, like, part time.
And then let me do UCB classes in comedy sports.
You know what's funny?
You did exactly the right thing.
Really?
Which...
I made a presentation.
I think I made a PowerPoint presentation.
Oh, really?
Mother?
Father?
You know, click.
I was like, so this is the Mount Rushmore of Upright Citizens Brigade.
Amy Poehler, Matt Wall.
Like, I was, like, explaining to my, like, Black parents from Ohio, like, what this...
Love Price Citizens Brigade thing was.
And at the time it was like Aziz Ansari.
I'd see like Rob Hubel, Derek Comedy, which was Donald Glover's old you know.
I would see like Ben Schwartz, like all these really cool, funny people that everybody knows.
And I just was like, oh, this is where I need to be.
It was like people were standing.
It was so electric.
But you knew when you know something you know.
And I do think go to where they're doing the thing that you love, even if it means okay, I'm getting paid 50 cents.
Oh, yeah.
But so I've got to do these other things to keep it going.
But go where they're doing the thing that you love.
And if that means you're not even in Santa's workshop, you're outside but you're talking to some of the elves.
And every now and then you get to go, I paint that choo-choo train a little, you know, and whatever.
And then eventually you're in there.
And then eventually being around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's being around and showing up.
So even then I remember I was doing the comedy sports and then I was doing, you know UCB, and I remember sleeping in my car like in between shows and going to auditions.
And it was a really special time.
I agree.
I'm just laughing because I remember I have such a clear memory of taking this booking.
Someone saw me do improv and I was maybe 22, 23.
And they said, we want you to be in this infomercial.
And it was shot deep in the valley.
It was for a company that made music, that it was for an association of musical instrument salespeople.
And they wanted me to be one of the players.
So I drove.
I had a terrible car that I bought at the airport.
It's called a 1977 Isuzu Opel that was literally falling apart.
And it had an I heart my poodle sticker on the back that I tried to get off.
And I scraped some of it off and the bumper was coming with it.
And I'm like, forget it.
I'm just going to leave it on.
But I remember, knowing so little, that they said yeah, you're gonna do this thing and take care of your own makeup.
I didn't know what that meant.
So I went to a drugstore and bought one of those powder things with makeup on it.
And I remember getting up at four in the morning, driving forever east of LA like past mountains and stuff to find this place.
And this is before...
You could geolocate off a satellite or, you know, use your Apple Maps or whatever.
So I had this big, thick book of maps called the Thomas Guide.
I went way out there and I parked in the parking lot half an hour before I was needed and took out my one little puff.
And I'm looking at it.
My skin is not perfect.
And I'm like, gloop, gloop.
And I went in and I think if you looked at it now, look, they found a body.
Yeah.
And they made it look like it's talking.
But I did that because I thought, this is my way.
That's right.
This is my way.
Yeah, and it was that day, you know?
Also doing things that, like failing a lot of times.
Like I did so much bad stuff.
See, I can't identify with either.
Home run after home run.
Everybody loved it.
No, it's just doing bad scenes and stuff.
But that is good to just stay connected to this has gone badly and it has gone well.
And that is always going to be the case.
And calibrating.
You know what was nice, too, about The Daily Show is John would let me calibrate.
He would, you know, you worked in late night.
It's like it goes up because we need it up, you know, and then we'll tack it the next day.
We'll do another show.
One of those days, throw it, you know, throw it up.
So I learned that.
But then also I learned, oh, that didn't necessarily work.
Oh, that didn't.
But John wouldn't say anything.
He wouldn't like berate me.
He wouldn't send me notes.
And I'd had up until that point a lot of comedy teachers who did.
He just sort of let me figure it out.
And he was just kind of the teacher I needed at that time.
It really worked for me.
Well, I don't agree with John.
I think berating has its, it's how it's done.
And I think vicious notes work.
But I'm going to say passive aggression.
That is a wonderful, long jokes about how the sketch didn't work.
I have gone way over time with you because you are intoxicated.
You're great.
You're just great.
Intoxicating.
You are crazy.
No, no.
I'm saying I'm saying this has been so effortless and fun and natural.
And then I put a red light up like 10 minutes ago, like, well, this is usually.
Oh, that's what that is.
I saw that.
That was a long time.
That was more than 10 months ago.
I think it was.
We went way over and it's because this is what I experienced when we did that thing together.
I was just like, her, more time with her, please.
Yeah.
It's getting creepy.
I'll come back anytime.
I'll come back anytime.
More time with her, please.
More time with her, please.
I don't think it's creepy at all.
Give me more time with her, please.
Next time we talk, I have to talk to you about you are quite tall.
And I'm wondering that's got to have influenced your.
It's crazy.
Let's talk about it real quick.
It's crazy you said that to me because you're like the tallest guy.
I'm the tallest man.
But when I saw you in person, I was like, oh, my God, he's tall, you know, and it was nice, though.
It was more comforting.
Is your wife tall?
She's tall.
Yeah, she is.
But she's not like me.
That would be wrong.
That'd be cool.
I don't know why it would be wrong.
Are your kids tall?
My son is quite tall.
He's a little taller than me.
Wow.
Yeah, but we lived near a nuclear reactor when he was coming over.
He has super strength.
I'm scared of him.
Yeah, you should be.
He turns green when he gets mad.
Was there something you were going to say about me being tall?
No, I was going to say it.
I have heard women that are tall say, oh, it was awkward for me earlier on.
And I think that's too bad because I just, I think, own it.
It must be, you know, own it.
And if you're taller, oh, you had to grow into it.
Yeah.
People, we have these beauty standards based on what's repeated in the media.
And we develop this view, based on where we live, about the way people are supposed to look, and whatever you're exposed to is what people think is right.
And so you're like a six foot tall black lady.
You're like, oh, I look different than what's on TV.
And so you develop like this, you know, normal 13, 14 year old complex, which is what I had.
Yeah.
And I was tall.
I was tall early.
I had like 13.
Yeah.
And it did.
But it but it informed so much of who I am.
It.
It made me.
I don't know what it did, but it's something that, as I got older, I was really happy, especially I knew I wanted to be an actor.
And as a kid, I didn't see a lot of tall, tall actresses, maybe Sigourney Weaver.
I feel like Queen Latifah might be pretty tall, but there's not like a ton.
No.
So it always felt.
And it used to be like a death sentence for an actress.
Yeah.
Because it meant that the male lead, like Alan Ladd, had to stand on six Apple boxes.
Oh my God.
One of those stories.
Harrison's always like, I used to be on contract at this studio and I made a hundred bucks a week.
Oh, trust me.
We had him here and he was bitching.
He's not over it.
Oh, he's not over it.
Jerry Tchaikovsky.
Jerry Tchaikovsky was the guy that told him he needed to get an Elvis haircut.
And he was like, Jerry Tchaikovsky.
And I'm like, yeah, that sounds like a rough day in 1968.
But I think it all went your way.
I will say it made me like in comedy, like, God, that man is not over it.
It's funny that you guys heard about that too.
But guess what?
We all have our stuff.
That's right.
But it doesn't matter who you are.
It's Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford.
I don't care.
You know, Tom Hanks, you pick the people at the very top.
I mean, presidents are like, God damn it.
The time that, you know, Iowa didn't go my way.
Like you are the president.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
But they don't.
No one does.
Yeah.
But I think with comedy, it made me feel like equal to men that I was playing against.
Like it always made me feel not as boopy, because I was like I don't know how to describe it like not as cute, in a way that I'm like just boopy.
Baby doing baby things.
It was like, even though that's how I got on The Daily Show.
It was like, I felt like, oh, I'm taller than these guys.
So I'm just going to.
Sure.
It informs my presence.
That's the way you hold yourself.
You hold yourself as someone who's is comfortable in your body, comfortable in your skin, like comfortable being you.
And so to me, that's the key to everything.
And the flip side's true too.
Like someone like Sabrina Carpenter is like, yeah, I'm whatever she is, 5'1".
She's like, yeah, that's who she is.
Yeah.
That's who I am.
And no one's complaining.
So have you ever interviewed her?
Like, I would love to see you guys standing next to each other.
No, that'd be fun.
That's a good one.
So you don't want me to interview.
You just want me to stand next to her.
Like it's a circus attraction.
Come see Sabrina Carpenter stand next to the wonder freak.
Very small versus very tall.
The singer and the guy with the zinger.
Okay.
Wow.
That was amazing.
All right, I'm going to shut it down.
Okay.
And scene.
Oh, love it.
It was absolutely a joy talking to you.
Oh, thank you.
Come on back.
Say hi to everyone at Shrinking.
And thank you for sharing your glow with us.
Thank you.
Intoxicating.
Intoxicating.
Thank you.
This is a bit of an older post on Reddit, but a user on Reddit named Earn Payow did a replica of our studio and all of us built out of Lego.
Oh, that's so cool.
We're going to bring it up here on the screen and you can go to at Team Coco podcast or, of course, watch this on YouTube.
Oh, that is very good.
Oh my God.
But it's very accurate.
Look at this.
Oh my God.
It's got Eduardo's cap.
It's got Blay and his prematurely gray hair.
This is really good.
It's got my need to be heard.
Yeah.
But somehow, for some reason, your Haley Bieber smoothie is on my table.
I know.
Oh, it is.
Green chairs?
This is really good.
Awesome.
I love this.
This person's very talented.
How do you get Conan Lego hair like that?
That's perfect.
Where does that come from?
Is it possible that he manufactured this hair?
Because look at Sona's hair.
It's actually made of the same stuff that Sona's hair is made of.
What?
No, i mean, that's a compliment.
Your hair is very uh.
It's full and thick and, very uh, made of plastic.
Lego, you're wearing the same exact color jacket.
I know i'm wearing a brown jacket, and look my t-shirt.
This is random.
I didn't know we were doing this.
Today i am wearing the exact same color scheme.
Uh wow, how do we get lego to actually make this, Or get this guy to send us one of these or three of these?
Yeah, we need to have this.
I want one of these.
Well, okay.
All right.
Calm down, girls.
I love Lego.
I do, too.
I would like one as well, but I think it's a little greedy to go from how can we get one to how can we get nine.
I said three.
Eduardo has a hat on.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Nice touch.
I think this is fantastic.
I love how artistic our fans are.
Yeah.
I think this shows a lot of ingenuity.
It's so good.
Look, it's great.
There's more pictures, too, if you scroll through.
There's some close-ups and stuff.
Okay.
I feel like you guys are big Lego people.
I love Lego and I've built some impressive Lego stuff.
My son and I, I think it was during COVID, I built, what did I build?
I built a like a Range Rover, Land Rover kind of thing out of Legos.
And my son built like a Bugatti, like we just got these two kits because it was.
It was COVID man and we built them.
I got that Aston Martin in COVID, that Lego Aston Martin.
You know the James Bond Aston Martin, that's right.
What do you guys?
You guys just like, after you build it, you're like okay, Then it's a display piece.
It's nice to have that.
Oh, okay.
That's nice.
Then it's a real chick magnet.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
Oh, I've gotten... Oh, look at it.
There's a little drawing.
Oh, my God.
The doodle.
Look at the drawing.
Oh, my God.
A doodle.
Look what's on the front of Sona.
Her phone...
Look in front of her on Sona's phone.
Look at that.
She's playing, like, what is that, Candy Crush or something?
I don't know what that is.
And I have a coffee, a big tea mug.
That's your tea mug.
That's so cool.
Oh, my God.
Wait a minute.
I didn't even think about this.
There's a bubble of me talking about my Lego Aston Martin.
Oh!
And look how evil you look.
Look how you have your malintentions.
People say I look like that actor Michael Stuhlbarg, and that does look like Michael Stuhlbarg.
Who's that actor?
You know him.
He's in Coen Brothers movies.
He looks like my older brother.
He's the dad in Call Me By Your Name, isn't he?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, I see it.
Yeah.
Oh, look at this.
Look at those guys.
Look at Adam.
Adam's just evil.
I know.
It's like bizarro Adam.
Adam's like, I don't see.
How is this?
We're not earning enough.
How do we monetize that?
This is great.
You got to check this out.
Go online.
Look at these pictures.
It's really beautiful.
We should try and acquire at least one or two, whatever, if we can.
I just want to make sure I get one for my own.
All right.
Well, I just meant for display here at our Larchmont offices so the talent visiting it can see it.
Look at the mini figs.
Look at us.
We're so cute.
What if we come to find out this is all just 3D design and it doesn't really exist?
It might not exist.
It could not exist.
Hey, maybe we don't exist.
That's likely.
You know we're probably three years away from them taking the essence of this podcast, running it through AI and then generating deep fakes that are us.
Yeah.
And they eliminate us.
Yeah.
We're turned into some kind of grouting for a bathroom.
Wait a minute.
Blaze wearing the Back to the Future clothes.
Did you notice that?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I thought those were muscles.
No.
I thought he just was totally ripped.
Hey, those are weird muscles.
Sona's got a French tuck.
Yeah, Sona, what's going on with your belt?
I don't know.
I do French tuck.
I have a French tuck right now.
I'm French tucking.
Wow, this guy gets all the details.
He knows what's up.
Hey, you know what he's missing?
One thing.
My prominent eye vein.
Oh.
Sorry.
Why would you want to make a note about that?
Oh, look at my little smirk.
Oh, you look like an asshole.
I look like a bully.
You know what?
I look like Scott Farkas.
Yes, you do.
In the Christmas... What is it?
Christmas Story.
Christmas Story.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Look at that asshole.
What are you going to do?
Cry?
Oh, my God.
That's cool.
That's great.
We do have really great fans.
They're very creative.
You know what?
We have the most creative fans.
And thank you.
This gentleman's name?
Well, his username is EarnPow.
And sorry it took us so long.
Could be a man.
Could be a woman.
Yeah, could be.
Sorry it took so long.
I mean, Legos is probably a man.
Sorry it took us this long to get to it.
Yeah.
I was just alerted to it.
He said smash the Legos out of bitterness.
I spent forever on that and they never responded to me.
He's moved on.
He's now making Duck Dynasty Legos.
At least they'll get back to me.
And listeners, you can go to at Team Coco Podcasts on Instagram and see this or the YouTube page.
Well, thank you very much.
Very cool.
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley.
Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.
Theme song by The White Stripes.
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
Take it away, Jimmy.
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair.
And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.
Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn.
You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode.
Got a question for Conan?
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