I just replaced my battery for the battery that was in the charger and I just realized that I put the charged battery back into the charger and I put the empty one back into my camera.
Off to a strong start.
I thought today we could sit here on the floor by my couch.
I don't know who of you have been around since the very beginning, but it's kind of reminding me when I used to film all of my videos at the foot of my bed sitting on the floor my very first apartment and even though it wasn't aesthetic or perfect or anything, i always loved filming there.
So i wanted to film a little q a today and catch up on some of the questions that i have from a q a i did on instagram and also some questions that i didn't answer last time around.
A lot of the questions were based around health and wellness and also mental health, and so I think what I'm gonna do this year is actually do dedicated QAs.
Like, maybe next time I'll do a personal one or a modeling one, just to make it a little bit easier for whoever's interested.
With that said, let's get into it.
The first question is, Oh my God.
Do you guys remember when they were doing construction on my building?
They are not doing construction on my building, thank God, but they're doing construction now across the street.
It's a couple buildings down, but they are basically doing the exact same thing on a totally different building.
If you can hear the construction just...
Just give me a pass this time.
Okay, first question is what's your approach to staying in shape without being too hard on yourself?
I feel like I go through phases of being really hard on myself and being a little bit more lenient with myself.
I don't think it's the balance that I struggle with.
I think it's actually the self-talk and the negativity the next day that comes with it.
And that's the part that I try to work on the most is like listen, you've worked hard this week, or you're going on a date with Avery, or you're going on a girl's night, like you deserve to have this time, and tomorrow morning you're gonna wake up and you're probably gonna not look.
You know your hundred percent, or maybe you won't feel your hundred percent, but the dinner was worth it and the time spent with the people that you love is worth it, and having the burger that you've been thinking about for the last week is worth it, you know.
And so just turning that into a positive and Yeah, it's almost like preparing myself for the next day, if that makes sense.
The other thing that I've obviously learned to do over the years is like there's a time and a place for me to indulge in whatever it is that i want to indulge in and i'm not necessarily talking about a cookie, like i'm talking about bigger meals out that involve alcohol and that involve just like real indulgence.
You know, like for me, with my work, there's a time and a place for that, and it's usually on a friday or saturday night, like if they have really amazing cookies on set, i'm gonna have one.
Or if um, you know, the only thing that they have for lunch is something that's not something I would typically eat.
I'm not going to not eat.
I've also realized over the years that the less I stress and the less I focus on food and doing things so perfectly, the easier it is for me to stay in shape and the less I actually need to think about it.
I know that's kind of an annoying answer, but that's honestly what happened to me.
As soon as I let go a little bit and as soon as I stopped overthinking and overtracking and hyper-focusing on it.
That's when all of this became so much easier and so much more fun, for me too.
What's your go-to meal when you're super busy?
I was thinking about this earlier and the first thing that came to mind to me was tuna, tuna salad.
I always have some canned tuna in my fridge.
Love saving this for the days where I don't feel like cooking because it's so easy.
I just whip it up in like five minutes.
If I'm really hungry, I'll make it into like an open-faced tuna sandwich.
Sometimes I'll put it on just like a bed of greens, or I'll put it in those romaine lettuce wraps and make tuna salad wraps.
We also always have like olives or pickles or celery and carrots and things like that, so you can add those things in and make it a little bit more exciting.
It's gonna be a little hard if you don't like tuna, but you could probably do it with like salmon, canned chicken or anything that's like similar to that.
I also always have smoked salmon in the fridge.
Again, if you're not into fish, then I'm sorry.
I'll have to come up with something better.
But you could even do like an egg salad or something super simple that stays good for a few days.
I love a good sandwich.
I also always have bread in the freezer.
So that's probably my go-to busy meal.
This was a question that was left under one of my last YouTube videos.
It was kind of a big comment.
So I'm gonna take out some of the questions that they had.
But this person's asking me like, how do I measure myself to stay on track?
Do I weigh myself or use a measuring tape or both?
And do I follow a consistent schedule of like measuring and weighing and that kind of stuff?
I'm not going to include the rest because it's not relevant, but I don't measure myself, unless I need to be measured by the agency.
I don't see the reason for doing that.
I also don't have a scale.
I used to have a scale, but I threw it out before I moved into this apartment with Avery.
I just felt like I didn't need it.
I wasn't using it.
I think there was a time in my life where I had a negative relationship with the scale.
The time that I threw it out, a lot of that had been healed and taken care of, but I still think the scale just doesn't really bring a lot of positivity and I also think it's just something that's not relevant.
You know, like if I'm going to the doctor sure, like I just had a physical a month ago, they weighed me it doesn't do anything for me to weigh myself every day, other than make me aware of a number that I really shouldn't have an attachment to.
You know what I mean?
It's tough because I want to speak from the place where I'm at right now, but I know all of the things that it took for me to get here.
And part of that was knowing what it felt like to be a certain size or a certain measurement.
And I think It's not really fair for me to explain things from where I'm at right now when you or anyone else maybe watching this doesn't know what that's like.
But I would say, if you're gonna monitor your progress or track whether you're staying in shape or not, Do it in a way that doesn't involve some sort of attachment to a number.
Do it by the way that your clothes fit and feel.
Do it by the way that you feel every day.
Do you like the way that you feel in your body?
Do you have energy?
Do you sleep well at night?
Does your body like what you're eating?
Using this as a way to become more connected with yourself, I think, is the best way to do it, because then you're staying in track and you're monitoring your progress, but you're also cultivating a different relationship with yourself and I promise you you're gonna start to notice so many things like oh my god, maybe my body doesn't like when I eat dairy.
Maybe my body actually is sensitive to alcohol, because every time I have two glasses of wine I sleep Terribly.
You know what I mean.
Like just those things are like everybody's everybody's Everybody's body.
Oh my god.
Everyone is so different.
Oh, I also just remembered that this person asked about tracking food and stuff.
I will say like that That was one thing that I did find helpful, because it helped me understand what is in specific foods.
If you're able to use a food tracking app just for the sake of understanding food better and understanding what your body's getting when you eat certain things, I would recommend that because it actually helped me a lot and it's part of the reason why I don't use anything to track nowadays, like even having specific goals for fat and carbs and stuff.
I don't I never really did that but just understanding, like how much fat do I get when I have an avocado and how much protein does one chicken breast have?
Or like how much protein do I get when I have X amount of yogurt?
Like those things can be important to know and apps can be really helpful to help you understand those things.
I think it's just about knowing if you're in the right place to do something like that or not.
I think the biggest thing to keep in mind is that the less attached you are to numbers and the more you can make this about how you feel and um, Also about how you look like.
I think it is important to like how you look and be in a place where you're comfortable, but not tying that to numbers.
I think that that's the healthiest way to go about this.
Trying to remind myself to like keep my head above my body and not out like this.
I find sometimes when I'm filming these videos, I get passionate and I put my head into the camera.
But I don't need to do that for you to hear what I'm saying.
What's something that makes you feel like you've got your shit together, even if it's the smallest thing?
This is a good question.
I think for me, this has a lot to do with my surroundings.
If my apartment is in shape, If the bed's made, if the sink's clean, like everything else can be falling apart.
But as long as my space is clean and organized, I'll be okay.
If I come home and there's just shit everywhere and there's dishes from yesterday in the sink, like that's the kind of stuff that will really send me over the edge.
Actually, pretty much...
Every night before I go to bed I'll do like a quick cleanup around the apartment, and it's kind of relaxing for me too.
It's like a way for me to unwind.
I don't know if you would consider that a small thing, but for me, that's a small thing.
Like I don't clean the whole bathroom every day or don't like do a deep clean of the kitchen every day, but just like a small five minute cleanup of stuff that's laying around dishes that are in the sink, like quickly wiping down the sink and whatever.
Those are the little things that actually allow you to keep the place cleaner and organized for longer.
And so I would say that that's the thing that helps me feel like I have my life together.
How do you manage your mental health as a model?
Any tips for dealing with anxiety and mental health struggles?
I would say that I'm generally pretty lucky when it comes to mental health.
I've never really dealt with depression or anxiety, I definitely get stressed and I get overwhelmed and I mean, I've shared these times with you guys, but I also go through periods where I'm not sure about what I'm doing and maybe I'm not doing as well as I maybe hoped that I would be doing, you know?
So I go through, I go through the same life struggles that everyone else goes through.
The circumstances might just be a little different because my career is different, but the biggest thing that I deal with in the mental health department, I think, is the lack of consistency in my career and just never knowing what's gonna happen next and never knowing whether this month is gonna be as good as the last one or whether this year is gonna be as good as the last one and, I think, can really bring me down to be honest.
I haven't mastered how to get through those times.
Right now everything's great, but maybe next month it's not gonna be that great and I promise next time I go through one of these times I'll share it with you, so you know what it's like for me.
But I have times where I definitely doubt myself and I don't feel like I'm doing as well as I should be doing.
And you know, instead of recognizing it as something that happens in my job, I will turn it back on myself and I'll make myself responsible for it.
When really I might be doing everything that I can, it's just not, It's just not the time or it's just not happening, for whatever reason, you know.
That's probably my biggest mental health struggle and it really does weigh on me.
I feel like I'm turning a corner with that, to be honest.
I'm kind of realizing that every time I'm in this period where things are slow or where things are maybe not going the way that I want, it's because there's a lesson that I need to learn here.
Like maybe I'll open up a little bit about this now, but last year I went through this period in the beginning of the summer where I just felt really stuck and I felt like I was kind of hitting a ceiling and things weren't really going the way that I had had hoped that they would be going.
And it ended up being really helpful for me because it made me realize that I needed to expand my, my book and like get new images and do all of these things.
And if I hadn't gone through that slower time, maybe I would have stayed comfortable where I was.
You know, maybe I wouldn't have had the frustration that ended up leading me to have these conversations and leading me to do all these things that are now, I guess, allowing me to reap the rewards, you know, or allowing me to have the things that I actually wanted.
It kind of happened in December too, like December was a little bit better and it was also just like the holidays, but again, it was one of those situations where things were slower and I was getting frustrated, but it ended up being two-week period where I realized so many things about YouTube actually and what I want to do with it and how I want to tackle it.
This year, like now we're in 2025, but I guess what I'm trying to say is like it's like that saying like when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
And that's one of the things that I have to remind myself of.
Like, okay, I might be viewing this through a really negative lens.
Like how can I not always necessarily turn it into a positive one, but how can I ride this out, knowing that there's something better at the end?
I think this is one of those things that you only realize over time when you have enough experiences like this to give you the evidence that there's always going to be something better at the end.
Also, when it comes to mental health, i know that that's not going to be like.
This way of thinking isn't going to work for everyone, because it's not always about the way that you think, right like.
Mental health is so much more than that and it's not always in your control, but this is just the way that i handle those really tough low moments in my life.
It's like reframing it in the best way possible and just trying to ride out the wave.
I just switched out my battery and also made myself a coffee.
So if you can hear the machine in the back, that's what you're hearing.
I'm gonna answer maybe two more questions and then I'm gonna call it a day, just because I have to go to.
I have a Pilates class at 330 and then I have a session at 430, so I gotta get going.
Okay, I remember a couple years ago you'd shared that you were in therapy after your parents got divorced.
My parents also separated as an adult and I find it's not a common situation to navigate.
If it's not too personal, can you share more about that and how you continue to navigate that now, a few years later?
This is one of those topics that is really hard for me to talk about, and I haven't really spoken about it a lot since I
Initially told you I think I was still living in my other apartment at the time.
For me, at this point, It's been just over three years since all of that started, and so the dust of the actual divorce, I want to say is, has kind of settled.
I think everyone who's experienced this will will understand like There's so much more that comes with something like that.
It's not just the separation.
It's not just the actual act of them divorcing.
It's also everything that comes up with that and a lot of that has to do with like, childhood related stuff and relationships with parents and things like that.
I don't know.
It's been probably the most challenging thing that I've had to navigate to be honest with you.
And I thought about sharing more about it.
And then every time I think about sharing, I just don't feel quite ready.
And I think the hard part about this stuff too, is that there's people involved that you really care about.
And one of the hardest parts about this kind of stuff happening in your 20s is that You see things for what they are, which is also kind of a blessing.
But the way that I can explain it is as if you're like digging things up.
Like so much is being unearthed.
And so many things become so much more clear.
And that I think is the part that takes a really long time to recover from and heal from.
And so...
I should probably look at the question again.
I think the things that are hard to navigate is the relationship that you have with your parents after something like that happens.
And I don't even necessarily think it's just when your parents separate.
I think when you become an adult, your relationship with your parents becomes different regardless.
But when you know so much about your parents and when you know so much about your own experience as a kid, you have to navigate that and relearn how to have relationships with them, if that makes sense um, just in a in a brand new way.
And um, i'm still very much in it, to be honest with you, and i still have moments where i deep breaths, where i just i struggle i, i really do.
I have moments where i struggle with the way that things are, the way that things happened and the things that that I'm faced with, and these are things that I will probably never really share and I don't even know if I could share them or I would want to share them, you know.
But just accepting that these are things that are part of my life and Relationships that are part of my life, and learning how to navigate life with those feelings, i guess, is the best way that i can explain it.
That's the phase that i'm still in right now.
I think is making peace with a lot of things and forgiveness and acceptance and all of these things that are really hard and and painful, but also like, also really beautiful.
In a way, too.
I'm gonna start crying, but like, That's truly how I feel, like this experience has just almost cracked me open in a way and made me more sad, but also more grateful and more aware, and I don't know.
I don't know if that fully answered your question, but I guess that's kind of like an update as to where I'm at in that journey, if you will.
The one thing that I've really had to learn throughout the process, and the thing that's maybe been the most valuable for me is actually learning how to set boundaries with certain people and how to have those conversations in a productive way.
And I've had a lot of help with this.
Avery's been a huge support system for me.
I also have a couple of other people who I've trusted to like talk about this, and I obviously have my siblings, who I'm so lucky that we all like kind of go through this together.
But this was one of those like hidden gifts that came with this experience of like really learning how to set boundaries and not feel guilty for doing that, and knowing what I'm willing to talk about and what I'm not willing to talk about.
That's actually been something that I've applied to other areas of my life too.
I'm so much more happier It's not good English.
I'm so much happier since doing that and not saying yes to things that I actually don't want to do, or like not having conversations that I don't want to have, or being able to respectfully shut down certain conversations that I don't want to have because they impact me negatively and again I have to credit like going through therapy and having someone teach me how to do that and how to deal with the guilt that comes from doing that sometimes.
And I wish I could be the one to like, share how to do that or give you the tools, but I'm not.
I'm not that kind of professional, you know.
And having a supportive partner who's patient with you and listens to you, even if you talk about the same thing like a hundred times, you know.
Like, I could go on about this forever now that I'm thinking about it, but this is, like, part of the reason why it's been so clear that Avery is, you know, the person for me because he's... He actually... came into my life right when all of this was happening and supported me so beautifully through all of this.
I gotta shut it down.
But that's kind of where I'm at with all of that.
I actually feel really good after sharing a little bit more about it and giving you an update, because I think where I feel most comfortable is keeping a lot of that to myself.
But also it's part of my life, you know, and it's part of the actual life.
The real life that happens behind the scenes is navigating family relationships and navigating a lot of newness there.
And so it feels good to have a community where I can talk openly and honestly about that.
That's gonna be the end of the Q&A.
I hope you guys enjoyed.
If you have any other questions or things that I maybe didn't talk about today that I should talk about next time, definitely leave me a comment.
Don't forget to like and subscribe and I'll see you in the next one.
