This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn.
Hi guys, welcome back to the show.
How crazy. As you can tell by the title, I am pregnant.
Oh my god, can't believe I'm saying that out loud.
I also have not recorded the show in over two months.
I took two months off social media.
I have basically been a hermit for two months.
I have barely left my house.
And I've been in such a bubble.
And there's so much that has happened.
Also so little that's happened.
But I have so much to share with you guys.
If you follow me on Instagram, I finally announced that I was pregnant once I hit the 12 -week mark with my pregnancy and I was really nervous to do so because I felt like I was in this bubble where I don't know like I love love love my community so much like especially on this podcast I feel like you guys have seen me through it all and I feel very connected with you guys and especially with my fertility journey and my IVF journey I just felt I don't know really connected it's such a a special experience you know but when you put things out on social media you never know where they're gonna land you're
opening yourself up for feedback and I kind of was just enjoying being in my bubble but I was also so excited to share so very mixed emotions I also think you know when you go through infertility for two I went through it for two years some people go through it for longer when you experience loss etc etc it's almost hard to believe that it's real like I feel like I have to remind myself constantly like you really are pregnant and I think sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dream because I've just waited so long for it that it's hard to grasp you know I literally got an ultrasound done yesterday
to make sure little one was still in there and I don't I know that sounds crazy and um I'm getting too in -depth too quickly here but I just you know it's just crazy to even talk about it honestly for me and it's so surreal and I know I left you guys on such a cliffhanger like the last time I recorded I was about to do my transfer I was so nervous.
I was in such a like that headspace.
I was so worried about it not working.
And I was in such a like, I didn't want to jinx anything.
I was so scared to even talk about it.
And I knew that the second I did my transfer, I would delete social media because I was like, whether or not it works or not, I need to experience that privately.
And it's honestly honestly, the first time in my career that I didn't share and that I stopped working pretty much for two months.
And it was a really crazy feeling.
And I'm honestly very grateful that I did that and very happy that I did that because I think, I think content regarding this topic is very important.
I know there's a lot of discourse about that online right now.
And as someone who who personally went through infertility.
I think it's so valuable to share your experience, especially when you are a healthy person with a good mindset.
I always tried to stay as positive as possible.
Sometimes for unexplained reasons, you just can't get pregnant and it's not your fault.
It's not because you're not manifesting it, quote unquote.
If you know what I'm talking you know what i'm talking about um i think that content is so valuable and i'm really happy that i shared my experience i just think people who haven't gone through it don't understand the pain like no of course not right like people who have an experience in fertility or loss will never understand that deepness of the pain that you feel and seeing other people experience it is really helpful because i think we are surrounded i mean day -to -day life by people people who get pregnant easily or celebrities getting whatever.
It's everywhere. I left you guys on a cliffhanger.
I deleted social media.
Obviously, now I'm pregnant and I want to tell you guys the full story of what happened because it wasn't just, I think in my head, I had this vision that once I was pregnant, everything would be amazing.
And it is like I am the happiest I've ever been but there was some bumps in the road for sure and some anxieties I was not anticipating and I want to fill you guys in on that because I think it's important and tell you the full story so we're going to hop into that I also want to acknowledge since I left the podcast I launched a podcast network which is crazy with my business partner Michaela Phillips who's incredible it's It's called The Pursuit Network.
As you can see on the screen next to me, we have some incredible talent who joined the network.
We have Sam Christine, who's Sam C Fit on Instagram with her show Empower.
She's amazing. She's a mom.
She's fit. She's gorgeous.
We have Louisa Nicole, who is a neuroscientist, insane, with the Neuro Experience podcast. And we have Ree and Slim for the Healthy Hose podcast. So an amazing lineup of talent.
and I'm just so excited to be a part of a network that's doing things differently.
I've been in networks before where, you know, I think it looks a certain way front -facing and publicly it's like kind of glamorous and like people really, I don't know, look up to these certain networks or, you know, whatever.
As talent and as someone who also runs a business, I never found a place where I felt fully happy um and I wanted to create that so we're really really excited to be doing that and we'll put more information in the description box below of where you can listen to the shows if you know someone who'd want to join the network we'll put all that info down below let's talk about my pregnancy story my embryo transfer was on March march 20th and it was a very magical day for me i was i couldn't believe it i was like this is the day that i get pregnant like they are going to impregnate me and the way
embryo transfers work is you're basically pregnant until proven otherwise which is kind of sad but you know it's like a 50 50 chance of the embryo sticking honestly and i did this whole protocol leading up up to the transfer if you follow me on TikTok you know I was doing acupuncture twice a week I was wearing fuzzy socks I was doing a warm foot baths I was drinking pomegranate juice I was eating Brazil nuts like I really was making it my whole mission for this transfer to work but I also you know I tend to be a bit of a like I have kind of an obsessive personality and yeah I was just very anxious
for it to work because I've been in this journey for so long and honestly I was lucky that I got enough embryos to where I could do the transfer right away.
And I didn't have to do another round of IVF.
I don't know how I could have because my egg retrieval experience was so bad.
And so many people have positive experiences, by the way, I want to say like anyone doing an egg retrieval, I don't want you to be afraid because of my experience, but I just had such a, such as such a bad reaction to the egg retrieval.
It was so painful. But anyway, the day of transfer, Greg came back there with me.
They gave me a Valium.
That's the only drug they gave me.
I had to drink a gallon of water and hold it because it makes it easier for them.
And I guess I drank too much water.
They were like, how is your bladder holding this much water?
They measured it and they had to give me this bucket with like measurements of how much water to release.
And I would go and pee in it because I drank too much water.
I got my bladder to the right point.
They brought me out a photo of the embryo, which is the craziest experience.
it's like this cell and the cell they like de -thawed it that morning and it was starting to hatch and keep in mind i don't know the gender didn't pick the gender i know the gender now which is gonna kill you guys i know but i didn't at the time and i was just i started crying immediately when i saw this picture of this embryo i was like oh my god that could be my baby and they wheeled me back into the surgery room which is the same room i did my egg retrieval in so it was like kind of scary all these nurses and people are running around but I had Greg next to me holding my hand and basically they
tell you to stay as still as possible they put you on the bed and he essentially impregnated me and I watched the whole thing on a screen it was insane I literally like had my my mouth was open the whole time and I watch him implant the embryo in my my uterus and Greg's watching and he's just like, Oh my God, this is insane.
It was magical. I was like, wow, this is the craziest day of my life.
And then afterwards we, I think they made me lay there for a little bit.
And then I got dressed and there's sort of a tradition in the IVF world that you go get French fries after you do your transfer.
It helps it stick. And most people go go to mcdonald's you guys know me i am not putting canola oil in my body no no no so i went to nadc burger here in austin which is not a damn chance burger it's amazing and they only use tallow so we went and got burgers and fries made in tallow and it was incredible and then i went home and took it easy like i laid on the couch i went on some walks and then from there you have a two -week waiting window to find out if you are pregnant and I knew this would be the hardest window of my life to get through because I am someone that like I'm a control freak I
need to know what's going on but something about IVF like changed me not to sound cringy or like embarrassing or whatever I just felt like IVF was such a patience game which I didn't anticipate you're always waiting for calls how many embryos did you get did they make it through genetic testing like you have to wait to get your period to do the transfer like you're always waiting and there's so many things that can happen to delay like they could have delayed my transfer I found out the day before that it was confirmed and if they'd cancelled my transfer I seriously don't even want to know how
upset I would have been because I was so set on this transfer happening so at this point I had a two -week wait window and in this window a lot of girls start taking at -home pregnancy tests on like day five and I told myself I'm not at -home testing because there's a lot of cases where people get false negatives and I mean getting a negative would have crushed me I mean I've been getting negative pregnancy tests for two years and I just I'm honestly terrified of pregnancy tests at this point because they crushed me so many times so and I didn't want to get a false positive either and I just had
so many people tell me it wasn't worth doing so I didn't touch pregnancy tests I didn't even have them in the house I basically was just going based on my symptoms and I could definitely feel in my body that I was pregnant and I didn't really want to fully attach to it I didn't want to get too excited but I could feel certain things like like this like pulling sensation in my uterus like every time I would get out of bed or roll over I would have this like pulling in my uterus I can't describe it like a pinching almost so I would like google that um and then I also noticed my boobs really hurt
they still hurt honestly and they were getting really big like I hosted Greg's birthday at our house during this two -week window window and everyone was like your boobs are huge and I was like I know but I thought maybe it's from the hormones like at this point I'm still doing injections every night I'm doing pills I'm doing suppositories like I was like maybe it's all the hormones they have me on but I could just feel I really thought that I was and I was like you know if they tell me I'm not I'll be really surprised but it's this crazy feeling of like gearing yourself up for either the best
day of your life or the worst day of your life and I know that's kind of dramatic and I'm lucky I had other embryos just in case but like going through that again I mean two weeks feels like a lifetime right right if you're going to invest in anything i recommend investing in good solid cookware it makes such a difference for your health i don't think most people realize but a lot of the cheaper pans on the market have pfas pfoas ptfes lead cadmium other harmful chemicals and those those are things you don't want leaking into your food or your body.
It just has long -term health effects we don't need.
I've done lots of episodes about this.
I also think the fact that Americans on average spend $3 ,000 a year on dining out can easily be fixed by cooking fun meals at home.
I have been a little bit of a hermit the past couple months and we've been cooking a ton.
Lots of fun food like pastas and steaks and yummy food.
And I love using my caraway cookware.
It's like my favorite cookware in our kitchen.
It looks gorgeous on the stove.
and I just think cooking at home is more intimate and fun obviously eating out every now and again is great but I really think cooking needs to come back and needs to be trendy again because it really is the best and you can control the oils you're using the sauces you're using and make sure you're really getting the best ingredients my personal favorite product from caraway right now is the wood cutting boards not a lot of people realize when you're cutting on plastic cutting boards you're getting microplastics in your food which just gives me anxiety so I really really love the the wood cutting
boards if you have been eyeing their internet famous 12 -piece cookware set now is the perfect time to buy you can shop caraway risk -free enjoy fast free shipping easy returns and a 30 -day trial plus if you visit carawayhome .com slash mari m -a -r -i you can take an additional 10 % off your next purchase this deal is exclusive for our listeners so visit carawayhome .com or use code MARI at checkout.
Caraway non -toxic cookware made modern.
I recently took out my extensions and I am on a journey of growing my hair.
And while I'm pregnant, I'm definitely focusing on using good products and also using silk pillowcases.
I'm absolutely obsessed with my Blissy pillowcase.
I didn't know sooner, but satin is so bad for you and Blissy's silk is an an incredible game changer a lot of dermatologists will tell you it's a skin care secret it really helps with fine lines and healthier hair I have seen such a difference with using my silk pillow case I wake up and my hair is less frizzy more smooth and looks the way it looked when I styled it I have noticed healthier hair and healthier skin it has anti -aging properties it's dermatologist tested and recommended clinically proven to not clog pores I struggled with acne for so long that's the last thing i want to be doing
it's also naturally cooling and breathable so no more sweaty nights it's also easy to care for and machine washable i am obsessed with my blissy pillowcase i need it to be on my bed at all times because you're a listener blissy is offering 60 nights risk -free plus an additional 30 off when you shop at blissy .com slash powpod that is b -l -i -s -s -y Y dot com slash powpod p -o -w -p -o -d and use code powpod to get an additional 30 % off your skin and hair will thank you.
Then comes the day of my pregnancy test and I think it was March 31st. You go in for a blood test, they call you later that day and they tell you whether you're positive positive or negative.
This day was excruciating.
I think I went in at like 8am, got my blood test, and then literally sat by the phone the entire day waiting for that call.
And I had Greg with me.
I was like, babe, you need to come home from work early because I want you to be there when we get the call.
Because if it's bad, I need you to pick me up off the ground because I will not not be okay and if it's positive I want you there too after this episode I'm recording a Q &A with Greg so you guys can hear from his perspective and we can answer a bunch of your questions but I saw a lot of people being like how did you tell Greg I didn't really get the experience of like surprising Greg because he literally watched them impregnate me and then he was there with me but I remember I was like losing my mind at the house and we decided to go on a walk and we take the dogs and we're walking around the neighborhood
and I'm waiting for this call and I have my phone on loud and I know the exact yard we were walking past when I got this call we're doing laps we walk we're walking and I get the phone call and I'm so dramatic guys with these phone calls like they are I mean getting calls about your embryos or your kids or it's just like terrifying so I answer this call and it was a Monday and she goes congratulations you're are positive and I literally fell on the floor and I was crying and going oh my god oh my god oh my god and I'm like Greg's there and he's he's like freaking out but Greg always just laughs
when he's excited like he just has this dolphin laugh that he does and right when I got that call a blue jay landed and this is you know a little spiritual but a blue jay landed right in a tree above us and greg was like oh my god a blue jay like that must mean something we're just freaking out together the nurse on the phone was like are you okay and i was like i'm okay i'm okay i'm okay and she's like okay you need to come back in two days for an hcg test and i'm like yeah yeah yeah whatever oh my gosh so we hang up the phone i literally just had my hand over my mouth and we're walking up the street
and i'm like i knew it i knew it i knew it i knew it best day of my life for sure and i wasn't a hundred percent sure of like if i would tell people at that point because i'd been told like you kind of want to wait a couple days to be sure but I was so excited we like immediately called Greg's parents called my mom called my dad I told a bunch of my friends like I really was just so excited and also everyone in my life knew I was doing an embryo transfer I wasn't very secretive about it I mean I literally told the whole internet so So I didn't really, like everyone wanted to know and I didn't
wanna just like leave everyone hanging.
Best day of my life, hands down, craziest feeling.
All of it was worth it.
All of that hard work, all of the tears and the pain and the sadness.
Like it just felt like, wow, it's happening for me and for Greg.
And this is when things took a little bit of a turn.
So I found out I was positive on Monday i go back wednesday and they test my hcg your hcg is supposed to rise during pregnancy and it's supposed to double every two days so that's really the telling sign of a healthy pregnancy at the beginning and hcg is a big thing in the ivf world i did remove myself from social media because i knew if i saw certain numbers or people's experiences like Like I would end up inevitably comparing my experience, my numbers to theirs.
But I did end up on these threads on the internet about what HCG levels people had, how quickly they doubled, whatever.
But I didn't really think about it that hard. I was like, I'm positive, I'm pregnant.
I go in for my HCG test Wednesday.
I'm waiting for the call all day.
And again, I'm terrified.
And I just feel like a lot of my IVF experience was just me being terrified constantly.
Like this awful feeling of like, Like, I can't explain it.
You're just in fear all the time.
And it's hard to shake that, right?
I get the call. I hear in the tone of her voice that something's wrong.
And you know that feeling.
My stomach sinks. I'm like, fuck, like, what is she about to say?
And she starts her sentence with, unfortunately, your HCG is quite low.
It didn't double. I think it went from a 98 to a 119.
like I literally still remember the numbers that's how scarred I am from this experience and she goes the doctor's really concerned you need to come back on Friday and we need to test again and I am like I'm beside myself like I could barely drive home I was at the acupuncturist and I had to tell Greg and Greg's you know Greg is like always strong front -facing but I knew he he was also panicking.
And I texted my IVF doctor and I said, please, can I talk to you?
You know, the nurse said, you can feel free to reach out to him.
And I did. And I was like, please, can we talk?
He was like, I'll call you after I'm done for the day.
And I'm waiting for that call.
And it was an awful phone call.
Like, and also I'd just like to say, I love my IVF clinic.
I had such an amazing experience with them.
I'm so grateful for, to them and nothing they did was was wrong like they just have a very conservative approach which makes sense and he doesn't sugarcoat things and he's very honest and very like he's a smart guy obviously calls us that night I think it was like 6 p .m and he goes look um I've seen this happen once before in my clinic and it work out only once he's like you have about a one percent chance of this baby being viable and this being a viable pregnancy and he basically is telling us the next steps of the second transfer because this didn't work and I'm like obviously just heartbroken
I like I can barely speak about it and I think it's important that I share that because it gives contacts as to why i've been more anxious in my pregnancy than i anticipated being but anyway this phone call was like really really heart -wrenching um to to be given what you've wanted for two years and then have it taken away and basically told like you're gonna miscarry is i mean it's basically like experiencing the loss without you know what i mean like being told you're going to to experience it and I've had friends who have miscarried and watching them go through it I mean it is it is a human experience
that feels wrong it's so painful and so many people go through it I'm just numb for two days waiting for my next blood test and I'm like you know just praying that somehow this one percent chance we have might work out I go in on Friday I do the a test and i'm kind of like i'm mentally preparing myself for the worst because what else are you supposed to do like i've been through such heartbreak with this already i mean this is my worst nightmare coming to life honestly so i do the blood test i get a call and i'm i'm refreshing my email waiting for the lab court results all day and i get the results
before i get the call as i told you guys it was a 98 a 119 and greg and i calculated and by the way greg and i are just stuck on chat gpt at this point like trying to figure out if this might work and we calculate the number it needed to be okay it needed to be like a 240 for this to make sense for this to work out i get the email i think the number was a 280 so it didn't just double it increased by a lot and i'm like that's really interesting and i'm like babe it like more than doubled and we're We're both like, we have some hope, but we're still waiting on that call.
I get the call waiting for these phone calls, guys.
I mean, I've never experienced mental torture like it.
And they go, OK, things might be turning up, but they also might not be.
We can't get our hopes up.
We need to wait through the weekend and have you come back Monday and test again.
And I'm like, how am I going to get through this weekend?
Like, genuinely, how am I going to survive?
I did um I remember I did like a pottery class with my friends and I was just like a zombie I like had no joy and everyone was like oh congratulations and I remember literally saying like yeah maybe not I just didn't know what else to say because how do you explain like yeah I'm pregnant but like I might not be it's just it's the weirdest feeling summer is approaching and hot tip it is the perfect time to start that side hustle you have been dreaming about that is essentially how i started my entire business on shopify when i was selling my pdf workout guides with shopify you can easily set up
your online store and start selling your products in no time the beauty of entrepreneurship is that you don't have to dive in headfirst right away with their easy to use tools and app.
You can manage your business on the go and sell anywhere.
That was such a useful tool for me starting my business.
I was so new and so young and Shopify made it so easy to get my PDF guides up on a website and start selling and it really is what fueled us into starting Bloom.
Shopify is a powerful set of tools that helps you start and manage your business whether online or in person.
It is designed to make life easier for entrepreneurs from beginners to big brands by providing tools that simplify selling with shopify you can easily sell on social media which is what we did manage your operations and even collaborate with other brands shopify is your all -in -one hub for managing and growing your business whether you're selling online or in person it's a toolkit for entrepreneurs equipped with everything you need to launch and scale your business effortlessly we started at such a young scrappy point and now bloom is obviously what bloom is and we've done all of it with shopify
It's a side hustle summer and it has never been easier to get started than with Shopify.
So check it out at shopify .com slash Mari, M -A -R -I.
If you're ready to build your own empire, whether it's merch, products or the next best idea, get on shopify .com slash Mari and make it happen.
Shopify .com slash Mari.
You guys know that Greg and I are obsessed with our eight sleep.
We use it every single night.
Greg especially has his temperature dialed into a science.
He uses it to wake up, he uses it to go to bed.
The pod is a high tech mattress cover that you can easily add to your existing mattress to help you sleep better.
You don't need to change your mattress or bed frame to get the pod.
Think of it as a fitted sheet that can be added to any mattress.
The pod uses AI and machine learning to learn your sleep patterns over time and use this data to automatically adjust the temperature of your bed throughout the night according to what your body needs.
Instead of just giving you some stats, it understands them and does something about it.
There's no other the product on the market that does so your bed literally gets smarter over time autopilot makes real -time adjustments to give you deeper higher quality sleep autopilot was designed with the scientific knowledge that temperature is the number one environmental factor impacting sleep sleep is also personal the ideal temperature is not one size fits all every person requires slightly different temperatures during the night autopilot can even detect vibrations from your body during snoring and gently elevate your heat to reduce or even stop snoring that would be really really great for my
husband. Eight Sleep recently launched their latest version of autopilot together with a brand new app.
Control your pod at any time.
You can manually adjust the temperature and the inclination of your pod.
It gives you detailed sleep and health reports every single morning.
Autopilot adjusts overview.
You can also see what temperatures adjustments autopilot made where you were sleeping and at what time.
And they also have smart alarms to help you with waking up.
head over to eightsleep .com slash pow and use code pow to get 350 off pod for ultra and start experiencing the benefits of autopilot today you get 30 days to try it at home and return it if you don't like it but I am confident you will keep it so I get through the weekend and I'm a mess I had a lot of support like Greg obviously you know I have a friend who's been through loss and she was there for me and just i was a disaster monday comes around i go and do the blood test my number has now tripled more than doubled i think more than that actually and at this point the doctor says okay we need
you to come in for an ultrasound because things are looking up i want to see what's going on so at this point i'm like it might be working it might might be working i'm so like torn here because i'm like oh my god it's working we go in for the ultrasound as i said before my doctor is like very to the point he doesn't sugarcoat things and i appreciate that about him i would rather him do that than make me feel hopeful you know and he goes okay let's see this ultrasound i'm really hoping you know at this point i'm six weeks pregnant probably maybe seven because when they put the embryo in you you're
technically already four weeks pregnant because the embryo has developed outside of the body, which is crazy.
So he's like, I'm hoping to see maybe a heartbeat.
He's like, this could be an ectopic pregnancy that would explain the low HCG, which obviously would not be viable.
He's kind of warning me that it could be the worst. And I'm like laying on the table waiting for him to come in and do the ultrasound.
And my heart is pounding.
Like I seriously thought I was was going to throw up.
I could barely speak.
He does the ultrasound and I'm just like, I can barely look at the screen.
I'm like, please, please, please, please, please.
This is the first ultrasound we've done, okay?
There's a speck on the screen and there's a heartbeat.
Like you see the flicker of the heartbeat and it's a pretty strong one.
And he's like, oh, things look pretty good.
He was like, I need to see something about the yolk developing more or no, the sack or I don't know.
he's like things look good we're a couple days behind of where we should be but there's a heartbeat we're feeling hopeful i mean i in that moment i was ecstatic but then i was also like shit i have to get through another week and wait for my next ultrasound and i'm gonna be terrified so for a couple weeks there i was really in just pure fear like i actually couldn't think about anything else except this baby and these ultrasounds.
We get to week seven.
The baby's grown. There's a heartbeat.
Things are looking good.
We don't listen to the heartbeat yet because he didn't want to like use a tool that had heat basically to hear it.
He was like, let's wait another week.
We wait another week.
It's developed even more.
The sac's developing.
We hear the heartbeat.
Craziest experience of my life.
Like I couldn't believe it.
I think a couple, you know, know I at the IVF clinic you do scans every week I know in normal pregnancies you do scans every four weeks roughly at the IVF clinic you're in there every single week which for me loved it I am like a control freak I need to see what's going on each scan was getting better and better and I'm still holding my breath every time I'm basically like I wasn't just to be honest I wasn't really able to enjoy being pregnant until very recently because I was so afraid yeah then we we finally get to the point where my doctor said, I think things are looking good.
Like we are going to graduate you from the clinic next week.
We're in a good place.
And I just like, couldn't even believe that he was telling me that.
And I was also so emotional about graduating.
Cause I was like, I just was like living at this clinic.
Like I was there multiple times a week and had been through so much with these people.
And I just couldn't believe our baby pulled through.
Um, It was seriously a miracle.
I'm not definite on this, but I just wanna say a major thing that I did when I got that scary news was went to my acupuncturist, my queen, she's amazing.
And I have been following like Chinese medicine practices throughout my pregnancy.
You know, I didn't swim my entire first trimester because I didn't want to have any like coldness happening near my womb.
She's very big on warmth, keeping the feet warm, drinking room temperature water and drinks, no smoothies, no ice cream, which is really hard in Texas summer.
Like I just allowed myself to do that.
And she gave me herbs to support growth.
I mean, when I went to see her, I was like panicking and she really stepped in and she was like, we don't give up yet.
We don't give up yet.
And she she really helped me just have a good mindset about it.
She was like, you can't panic.
You have to stay calm for the baby.
She gave me these herbs, disgusting herbs, like disgusting.
And she was like, you're going to have a hard time taking these.
I would pour the herbs like packets, like eight packets of herbs in my mouth and chug them twice a day, actually three times a day at one point, it was brutal.
But, um, I seriously think that's a huge reason I was able able to pull through and the baby was able to pull through.
And I think something she said really stuck with me.
She said, you know, I think the fact that you have PCOS, sometimes it slows down the blood flow and maybe that's why the HCG was slow to start.
I don't know if this is a very niche thing or if other people have been through this, like let me know if you have. I'd be very interested to know.
Actually, a friend of mine reached out and said she had, she has four kids and she said she had low hcg with every single baby and she had them stop testing her hcg because she was like I just had faith and it worked out every time so if you've been through this you're going through this maybe this is helpful that was um that was a rough start for sure and um since then I graduated the IVF clinic which was a crazy experience I'm like a normal pregnant person now and I went to my regular OBGYN he did a scan the baby has now overtaken its growth so like my due date was pushed earlier which is crazy
every time I see the little one they're jumping back flipping like it's crazy it is honestly the craziest experience like I got to see the baby yesterday yesterday and the baby was trying to suck its thumb and like opening its mouth it was just bizarre like the feet are kicking the arms are waving there's elbows there's fingers like you can see your nose it is crazy like I actually can't even put in words how bizarre it is to see and I think just after everything I've been through I every time I do an ultrasound my mouth is like like my jaw is on the floor.
I'm like, how is there a little person in me?
Like it's, it is bizarre in the most amazing way.
I chose function because it's the best in the world for testing.
It's an all -in -one health platform with over a hundred advanced lab tests covering your entire body, five times more than the average physical, comprehensive and focused on critical biomarkers.
It offers testing twice a year, available across the US, and super easy to use.
I've been through so much with my fertility journey, my acne journey, my overall health journey, and testing has been at the core of all of them.
Function Health is recommended by Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, Dr. Casey Means, and hundreds of health experts.
Kicking off the summer, Function is sharing their Long Live campaign.
Long Live is a celebration of the everyday moments that make life worth staying healthy for.
for me this means long live spending time with family i think it's so important and i think i would love to encourage my family members to use function because it just means catching things early and being proactive in the spirit of long live and taking control of your health get a hundred dollar credit towards your annual membership at www .functionhealth .com slash pow this a hundred dollar credit is only for the first thousand listeners sign up at www .functionhealth .com slash pow.
You guys know by now I am obsessed with red light therapy.
I think it's so beneficial, not just for aesthetics like scarring and acne, but I've even been using it like on my body for egg quality and inflammation.
Such an amazing tool and I personally love Bon Charge.
Bon Charge's mission is clear to empower individuals to live a more fulfilling life through science -backed beauty and wellness products it can be really hard to find time to do all of these wellness habits at home but what i love about bond charges a red light face mask is that it's super easy to incorporate in my routine you can wear it while you're cooking meditating reading a book making the bed whatever it may be you just do it for 10 minutes a day and you are on your way to clearer firmer and more radiant skin it's a go -to skincare device for me to feel refreshed confident without without
costly spa visits. So I think it's really worth the investment to have one of these at home.
I've noticed my skin looks so much better.
I had acne for 10 years and this has really helped me with my scarring.
Plus it's helping me feel like I'm glowing from within.
It has made such a big difference with my skin and probably it's like my staple when it comes to skincare.
Really helps with redness, scarring in general, etc. BondCharge's red light devices promise a non -invasive approach that utilize specific wavelengths of red and near -infrared light to penetrate skin, offering a range of benefits that continue to garner attention from researchers and health professional alike.
Go to bondcharge .com and use coupon code PURSUIT to save 15%.
That's B -O -N -C -H -A -R -G -E .com and use coupon code PURSUIT to save 15%.
let's talk about like my symptoms and all that stuff i feel like i haven't even touched on that because it was such a crazy journey to get here but the biggest ones i've kind of been keeping track because they've kind of shifted but from the beginning i told you guys the pinching the pulling of the uterus the boobs big and hurt okay the boobs have been consistently getting bigger bigger and bigger and it actually is terrifying like i'm how could they possibly get any bigger i mean if you look at pictures of me from before ivf even during ivf to now i had small small boobs like always kind of have they
are like massive right now like i actually can't believe it it's hard to get dressed like none of my clothes are made for big boobs like none of my bras fit in and my sports bras fit and my bikinis fit.
It's really weird. They hurt.
Like right now, it's actually not that bad.
But like a lot of days, they hurt to the touch. I can't really jog because when I move, they like really hurt and they like ache.
So that's been one consistent symptom.
I would say fatigue has been a big one.
And that one kind of fluctuates.
Like over the weekend, this past weekend, I was exhausted from like 11am onwards.
Usually it hits me around like three or four and I'm just kind of like down for the count.
And I really let myself rest. And then my nausea has been so, so mild.
And I know I'm super lucky and part of me wonders if the universe is giving me a break because it saw everything I went through.
And and maybe I'm having a little bit of a breather with the symptoms but I haven't thrown up once my nausea is pretty much only usually only first thing in the morning and I have to eat something right away and then it usually goes away within like an hour but I've had days where the nausea kind of like comes in waves and again it's not that bad but definitely like you know if Greg's making salmon I'm like that is disgusting but then some days I can eat the salmon so it really just depends but I think in general like compared to some girls experiences I feel really really good it's weird though
I feel like my symptoms actually ramped up around 12 weeks um I felt like they were very mild like I had some days where I was like I feel completely normal and I'll be honest that freaked me out like just after everything I went through I was like is Is everything okay?
Am I, is something wrong?
Like, you know, I've had a lot of having to work through those anxieties and I'm still occasionally going through that, just being really paranoid about doing something wrong or, oh, I don't even know.
It's crazy because they are so protected in there and there's like not much you can do wrong.
But when you go through like what I went through, you're just so scared you know the symptoms have ramped up a little bit the past couple days also just being so hungry like i have to eat every hour i go everywhere with snacks now like sliced apple crackers cheese i just have to have something on me because if i go too long without eating i don't feel good so in terms of working out and nutrition um i was told by my clinic to not work out those first few weeks like don't pick up anything heavy and keep in mind like this is coming from an IVF clinic like they're obviously very conservative most
women are fine to work out but yeah they said don't work out I think I got cleared to start working out around maybe nine or ten weeks and I started super duper slow like very lightweight very slow movements I was still walking like I was pretty much getting like close to 10 ,000 steps every day that was my my exercise but i definitely missed weight lifting it just helps me mentally and helps my body image like there's just so much that it helps me with so since that point i've really like gotten more comfortable and now i'm weight lifting probably four days a week um definitely not like going
crazy and i'm not doing any core or abs so i stopped going to pilates which is sad but it it just feels like a lot of core.
So I've been weightlifting in my gym and walking, which feels really good.
I do it first thing in the morning.
And then nutrition, I mean, it's pretty similar.
I just eat more often and smaller quantities, maybe.
I don't know. I just definitely eat more often.
And I try to focus on protein, but I probably eat more carbs because that's kind of what makes me feel better.
Biggest cravings have been lemonade.
That's like a huge craving for me.
And sandwiches are the biggest ones.
And also before I talk about nutrition, I know that so many people have strong opinions one way or the other about food when they're pregnant.
And I just think that everyone's different and like everyone should do what they're most comfortable with.
I think in general, I take a very conservative approach in some ways, but not other ways.
like I think so I ordered this book called Expecting Better Emily Oster is the author she's an economist and she talks about how when you're pregnant they pretty much just tell you like oh you can't eat deli meat you can't eat sushi you can't drink alcohol you can't have coffee and there's really no like rhyme or reason behind it and no statistics and she basically went and gathered all the statistics on the different things they tell you you can't do and in this book she tells everyone like the statistics on why you should or shouldn't eat these things okay so i read this book i haven't read
the whole thing but i've read a lot of it because there's certain things i definitely don't want to do i don't want to drink alcohol um i don't want to have too much caffeine i probably won't eat raw fish um at least in my first trimester but like the deli meat for example she talked about how it's a super low statistic chance of you getting sick.
And the highest chance is with turkey.
So I kind of made the mental decision, I'll avoid turkey, but I'll eat the other things.
And then there's like a whole tuna fish part where the mercury isn't great for the kid.
So you want to limit tuna, but you can have it every once in a while.
I just think people have these rules in their head and they don't know why.
Like there's a lot of old -fashioned things I just have made decisions on my own for myself you know and I think that's something I'm like nervous about sharing because I just know people love to give unsolicited advice uh based on their beliefs but I just think everyone should come up with their own rule book you know so yeah I've been definitely focused on protein one thing that I did that's kind of weird was i've been eating like fish eggs quite frequently because of the dha there's a scientist i love called dr ronda patrick who is so smart go look her up she has her own podcast she's been on joe
rogan and she ate fish eggs throughout her pregnancy because they find that the dha in the eggs is more potent than in the fish and it really helps with the baby's brain brain development.
So Greg orders me these wild Alaskan fish eggs.
It is a little bit disgusting and I at first was like, how am I going to eat this?
Like I'm so grossed out but I put it on a cracker with butter and it's honestly fine.
I don't do it every day.
I do it a couple times a week.
That's like one weird thing I've been doing.
I've also just been trying to be pretty clean in general like avoiding seed oils like all the beliefs I had already you know but I do allow myself to like have a few more indulgences like for example if I'm really tired I don't feel well I'll let myself order tacos or maybe a sandwich like I don't necessarily like I'm not clean 24 7 but most of the time I am and I just make sure I get those nutrients in I feel like I've been been really into fruit that's a big thing drinking tons of water currently with my caffeine I'm having one matcha a day maybe two like that's kind of what I'm doing I mean I
avoid fast food I'm not into that you know you know we can do a whole other episode about products and toxins and things you know that I'm avoiding or using but I think it would be good to get an expert on the the show to talk about that as well because I actually still have questions um and I'm not like an expert so I definitely want to get to that point where we bring people on to discuss and I have a few great ideas and we have some amazing guests in the pipeline like one that I'm so excited about coming in June and if you still have questions Greg is coming on next week week to answer those
questions. We're going to do that together.
I got so many questions.
Oh my goodness. I mean me disappearing from social media and then coming back with that announcement.
I have never in my life had so much like love.
It's so crazy and I am so appreciative of everyone who's shared their well wishes.
It's seriously so heartwarming and special and I'm so excited to to share this with you guys.
I mean, I've waited for this my whole life and I'm very fascinated by the development process and just everything that I can do to help the baby and what I can eat and just all the things.
I think it's very interesting.
So I appreciate you guys sticking around through my two -month hiatus.
Thank you for returning.
I'm going to be doing one episode a week.
I'm I'm definitely, you know, I'm back at work as of today, but I'm coming back a little bit differently.
I think, you know, the old me was like, fill the calendar to the brim, say yes to everything.
I had a bit of a problem for a while and, you know, I think it got me a long way.
Like I wouldn't have built bloom if I wasn't so intense about it.
But I have truly waited to be pregnant for so long that I want to enjoy it and I don't want to be stressed I want to be able to rest and like enjoy and I still love doing the podcast this is my favorite thing that I do and I think we can have some amazing conversations but I think twice a week was really a lot for me so we're going down to one I know you guys will respect that and I'm so appreciative and I want to make make sure you guys subscribe so you don't miss anything because I am back.
Leave a review. I would also just love to hear your guys' feedback on like your own experience or whatever you've been through.
Like I love reading.
So either DM me, leave a comment on Spotify or on YouTube.
And I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening.
Thank you for sticking around and I'll see you in the next episode.
Bye. thank you for joining us on the pursuit of wellness podcast to support this show please rate and review and share with your loved ones if you want to be reminded of new episodes click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player you can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at marie llewellyn .com it will be linked in the show notes this podcast is a pursuit network production brought to you by mckayla phillips joel contartese You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at Pursuit of Wellness Podcast. Love you, power girls and power boys.
I will see you next time.
The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only.
It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider -patient relationship.
As always, talk to your doctor or health team.
We'll be right back.