Sound check check, check it's recording.
Yes, be yourself, be yourself, oh my god.
Be authentic, be authentic.
We talk about authenticity all the time.
What is authenticity?
It's very simple it's simply being the self.
That is a win for you at all times.
I'm not one of those people that thinks, oh my god, you have to be the same person in every room.
That means you're authentic.
No, it just has to be yourself.
That is on your side.
You can decide that I'm going to show up in this space with this part of me, because it works best for me in this room.
That is still authentic.
When a person meets you, they do one of these three things.
They like you or they dislike you or They are indifferent to you.
And these three things are inevitable.
There's nothing you can do about these three things.
I know what's funny.
People can oscillate between those three things.
Someone can meet you today and decide, you know what, I don't really know.
And then they spend time with you and they're like, wow, wow, me likey.
Someone can meet you and go, oh my God, I've met my soulmate.
And they sing a song and they tell everybody, do you know, I've met my soulmate.
I've met the one that I love.
And then guess what?
They spend time with you.
In two weeks, they're singing a different song.
And how we feel about people that we just met is about how we ourselves see the world.
Authenticity exposes compatibility.
I tell you, I tell you, this is what you hope for.
This is what you hope for.
That when you meet people, you're truly learning if you're truly compatible with them.
The reason why a lot of us are so afraid of showing up as ourselves is that we're trying to maintain a story.
We're trying to sustain a brand and image.
In order to be a self that is a win for you in every situation, you have to be number one.
You have to be somebody who understands that there is a difference between discomfort and danger.
That's That something is unpleasant doesn't make it harmful.
When you're honest about who you are to yourself, then it becomes easier to present that person in public.
You think, oh, someone met me on Monday and they're like, oh, I think Pearl is this kind of lady.
You know, she's this, she's that, she's this.
And then they meet me on Tuesday and I'm shaking my bum in the middle of the street.
And they're like, oh, oh, I didn't know that day.
That's your problem.
I showed up as myself.
You projected your way of being onto me.
And I went there.
I show up back again with an aspect of me that I enjoy and that suits the situation I'm in.
And they're like, who is this lady?
What I am is everything.
What you are is everything.
Why?
Why be in a box?
Why?
When you can be free and floating and fluid.
Who told you that you cannot be fluid and still coherent?
Who told you that?
Who told you that your essence disappears just because your language changes?
Who told you that?
Who told you that you cannot contain multitudes?
Who told you that narrative control is your enemy?
Drop it and have some fun.
And clarity does not under any circumstance guarantee acceptance.
That i show up in a way that makes me feel like i'm someone you can accept, that i try to dumb myself down or maybe not even dumb myself down, but change up myself in a way that i know that this person opposite me must receive does not mean i'll be accepted, because you know why.
I do not know what is going on in their minds.
When i show up as myself, I am going who am I compatible with?
It's like an antenna.
It's like giving out signals.
And then you might not pair with some people because it's not compatible.
Okay.
And then you pair with some people the bluetooth device.
Quick pause, because i get asked this all the time.
If you're stuck on things like self-love self-confidence, healing from trauma, or you're like oh, i know that happened to me, but i don't know what to do next oh, i need more information on how to learn to love myself, how to learn to reparent myself.
I don't know what to do with the anger.
I don't know how to grieve.
You know ways of getting back to myself.
How do i learn confidence that will last?
How do i?
How do i?
I have made practical workbooks, real workbooks.
I've put it all in there, very detailed, for you to be able to work at your own pace, to work through things.
Get them at the neurocosmiccom back to our video.
The Bluetooth device is connecting or has paired.
You've opened up yourself to actual real connections.
People who see you, who understand you.
And let's not forget that when you show up as a self that you do not like listen, something happens.
The connections you have are not honest anyway.
So you are still uncomfortable.
So why not choose a discomfort that has the best outcome?
And the thing is, a lot of people don't like honest people.
And I'll tell you why.
A lot of people don't like honest people because honest people demand something from them.
People do not resist authenticity.
What they resist is what it demands of them.
Understand this and know peace.
Once you understand this, then you stop taking it personal.
And then it changes how you see love.
Authenticity truly shifts your definition of love from ease or worth towards capacity.
Do they have the capacity to hold me?
And lots of people do not have the level of self-awareness to know that this is what is happening.
It's not that this person is wrong for being.
It's that I do not have the capacity for what they are demanding, for what being in communion or what being in community with them demands.
So what they do is they point fingers.
They are wrong.
This person is odd.
They are weird.
No, you are not open.
And that's okay.
But that's what is happening here.
People ask me sometimes, well, what if I show myself and then they leave me?
If that's their reaction, thank fucking goodness that they've left.
Because that means they weren't there for you.
When they leave, you open the space for people who have the capacity to hold your being to come in.
It really is a fallacy.
It's a lie that people have to somehow become easier to be loved and to be seen.
That's crazy.
Think about the worst person you know.
Have they been single?
Think about it.
Just think about it.
Now, don't go too deep into this thought.
Don't start thinking, yeah, but their relationship was toxic.
No.
The worst people you know are always in relationships.
The worst people you know.
Think about it.
Why?
Because there's somebody for everybody.
There are people who have bad attitudes, bad characters in loving, like really loving relationships.
And you're like, well, well, they're loved.
So what's the argument?
So no.
No.
Maybe your authentic self is a bit more, has more needs.
You know, maybe you're not that smooth as a person.
That's fine.
Me, I'm a very passionate person.
You know, something so tiny, I'm like, oh my God, did you see?
Did you see?
This is exhausting for some people.
But I'm exhausted if I don't live this way.
This is how I survive.
This is how I see the world and I enjoy the world because of this.
And the people who love me love this part of me.
They love that I see things in a miraculous, beautiful, just embodied way.
But some people have met me and genuinely they hate it.
They're like, oh, like, I don't know why she's too much.
She's always acting.
No, I'm not too much.
I'm just requiring a part of you that you have no access to.
And that's fine.
But to turn that around and call me too much.
No, someone who is mature would not insult me.
They would just know that we're not compatible.
But some people, they're like, oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.
You're the issue.
And in that moment, I'm like, am I?
It's OK if we're not compatible.
But to curse me, to call me problematic, to look down on me.
Girl, being a sub that is a win to you reduces your audience.
It does.
But then when people are around you, you can trust that those people are there for you.
They are there for what you offer.
They are there for who you are.
My dad would say, if everybody likes you, there's a problem.
If everybody hates you, there is a problem.
You need to be in the middle.
If everybody likes you, it means that you have no identifiable values.
Nobody on earth appeals to everybody.
Authenticity calls for intimacy and intimacy calls for specificity.
It requires specificity.
So be specific.
Be yourself, even if it's niche.
I'm telling you, you'll find your people.
You will.
You will when you stop trying to attract everybody.
Life is really easier when you tell the truth.
When you tell the truth, they are not worried about being found out.
Yeah, imagine if everybody went outside being authentic.
Imagine if everybody was doing whatever they liked.
Imagine, imagine.
No, no, no, no, no.
Listen, when we say be authentic, we're not saying be a depraved, extremely selfish, mean just crazy person on the streets.
No, no.
Of course, there's a cost.
I'm not going to tell you that there's no cost responsibility.
You have to take responsibility for yourself for what you do.
Can you stay, even when you disrupt?
I remember that you're afraid doesn't actually mean you're in danger, because when i conquer a fear, then next time i have evidence to know that i can conquer it.
So i don't run.
But i have to conquer it to be able to gather the evidence to get me, to get me.
So can you stay?
Honestly, it's uncomfortable.
But what is it?
What is it?
It's just about picking your poison.
I don't think, I think I've said a lot today.
I don't even know if it's coherent, but whatever.
I'll see you in the next video.
Bye.
