This is an IELTS Energy Podcast Episode 1557, Terrific Tone for IELTS Essays Part 3, Formal Letters.
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In this third edition of our three part series, get a high scoring example of how you write a formal letter to a business with the right vocabulary and linking words for the best score.
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Hey there, Aubrey.
What's going on today?
I am great, Lindsay.
How are you?
Good, good.
But I have a question.
You ready?
Yes.
All right.
So Aubrey, have you ever written a complaint letter, a letter of complaint?
And who did you write it to if you have?
Yes.
And it wasn't one that I, you know, hand wrote and mailed.
That's so rare anymore.
But I did write an email complaint letter that was very professional.
I had to think about for a while how to word it to podcast hosts of a podcast that I love and listen to often where there was a lot of fat shaming about themselves and sort of about others.
And I could tell that their intent.
Their intent was not to make others feel badly or create this, but they were like with the things they were saying.
And I felt very strongly like.
I feel like they need to understand, when young people hear this type of speak and conversation, what it can do to their um mentality.
You know what it could create.
So I did.
I ended up sending that letter and I still listened to this podcast and I didn't receive a response.
But I've noticed a change in the way they talk about wanting to lose weight and just sort of the way they phrase home.
I feel like it made a difference.
Good.
Did you mail it or did you email it?
Okay.
Got it.
Got it.
Got it.
Yeah.
Sometimes from a from a.
If it's written respectfully and it's from a longtime loyal listener and it makes sense, I think the podcast will listen and respond if it, if it makes sense for the like, if it just makes sense right.
What you're saying.
I mean, that's really good.
I think it did.
I was, you know.
I gave sort of examples of personal you know, people I know personally who would be affected or have been affected by this type of language.
So Yeah, it's interesting.
But what's it is interesting that I did not type it out and mail it.
I can't think of the last time I did that, which is part of why.
General task one letters that are formal letters.
They're often complaints to a company.
It's probably going to feel foreign if you've never done that before.
Yeah, we're just going to have to use our imagination and entertain IELTS a little bit in their choices, right?
We have to play the game.
We got to play the game to get the score that we need to have the life that we want, right?
Exactly.
So where are we starting today, Aubrey?
Well, so this is part three of a three-part series on tone in general task one letters.
Stay to the end if you miss the other two, which are informal and semi-formal tone.
You can definitely listen to these out of order.
And we also provide a band nine sample of a formal letter later in the episode.
So definitely stick around to the end.
Okay, guys.
And by the way, don't forget to hit the follow button.
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Right.
Absolutely.
So first, we're going to briefly go through the scores here.
So for your task response score, task achievement score, for task one, you must directly address each of those bullet points, of course.
But that's not enough alone.
You also have to use an appropriate tone throughout the essay.
And this is done with both your vocabulary and your phrasing, your grammar structures, which sometimes are very casual and informal and sometimes are quite a bit more formal.
Yeah, I think this is the next level layer that people have to be paying attention to.
The tone, right?
If they expect to score high.
We've talked about this a few times in the last couple of weeks how important it is to part of, as you said, task response score, task achievement.
Are you answering the question?
Are you really answering the question?
Exactly.
And what...
It's so unfortunate when students do address the question directly and provide those two details per bullet point, but their tone is not consistent or is inappropriate for what it is.
And you still can't score seven for the task achievement score.
Don't make that mistake.
But then we also have a cohesion coherence score.
What is this all about?
Yeah.
So for task one and task two, you must use linking words and phrases.
It's absolutely vital for your cohesion coherence score.
It's especially difficult because we don't usually do this in emails and speaking as well.
So it might not feel that natural to add these linking phrases.
So you've got to practice this.
Hmm.
So we kind of have to artificially add them a little bit, right?
Especially in a formal or an informal letter.
So part one and two, we shared more informal linking phrases.
They will be different for a formal letter, right?
They're going to be a more impressive, more formal like consequently, in addition furthermore, things you would not write in a letter to a friend, things you might be more likely to write in a school essay, right.
But again, school essays are nothing like IELTS essays, so that's where the comparison ends.
So nevertheless or alternatively are additional ones.
Exactly.
So these raise both your vocabulary score and your cohesion coherence score because you're showing that linking between ideas with band nine words right.
Because of The low scoring.
Linking phrases like so, then next first last, those are not going to boost your vocabulary score.
Not good enough.
And when it comes to vocab, Aubrey, let's talk about vocab for a minute.
What do we look for?
Yeah, so in these, if you need that formal tone, the examiner is looking for more formal vocabulary.
There shouldn't be any slang. probably not any idioms.
Every now and then an idiom is formal enough for a letter, but most of them are not.
Most of them are much more informal.
So we're looking for those less common, more impressive words.
And in the band nine essay example we provide here.
In just a minute you're going to see a lot of good examples of what this looks like.
Okay.
And we'll take a look at that right after the break here.
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All right, Aubrey.
So before we get to that example, let's talk a little bit.
Yeah, actually, this is the example right here.
Let's get right into it.
No delay, no delay.
So we have a task one question for our example.
Shall I read it?
This is what you would see on your paper.
You recently stayed at a hotel while traveling, but you were dissatisfied with several aspects of your stay.
Write a letter to the hotel manager and in your letter, bullet point one, explain why you chose this hotel.
Bullet point two, describe the problems you experienced during your stay.
Bullet point three, say what action you expect the hotel to take.
All right.
Perfect.
So you're going to take a couple of minutes to brainstorm ideas for each of these bullet points.
And then, as you write, look back, refer back to them, make sure you're directly answering these bullet points, that your details are directly related to these.
That also is vital for the task achievement score.
It's also important to know, I don't see any place here where it says write a formal letter.
Do you see that anywhere in the question?
Good point.
No, the instructions and the question will never tell you if it's informal or formal.
So we've talked about this each along the way.
What type of person you would be writing to?
That would let you know what the tone was right.
These are letters to strangers complaining about something, or it could be complimenting service, but it will be to someone that you don't know, someone whose name you don't know.
To a business too, right?
Last week, we talked about neighbors, writing a letter to a neighbor.
We said that that was semi-formal, which I totally agree with that, right?
Yep.
And one nice thing is the instructions will tell you how to begin the letter.
And for formal letters, it always says, begin your essay, dear sir or madame.
So that is a good clue.
That's like, oh, you don't know their name, right?
You are this is going to be a formal letter.
Yeah, it's funny, though.
I don't know if I would ever if in real life, right in the real world outside of IELTS.
I don't think I would ever start a letter like this.
Even if I didn't know their name, I think I would say. dear hotel manager or something.
Yeah, maybe, right?
Dear sir or madame, or even to whom it may concern.
We don't use these very often, but we do highly recommend that you just start your letter the way IELTS tells you to.
You can write it word for word.
This is one of the things you don't have to paraphrase.
You're not going to be docked.
Just use that intro, that... greeting that IELTS gives you.
Yes, once again, play the game, right?
Play the game, follow the rules.
So should we go ahead and just read this, our sample answer here?
Yeah, let's do paragraph by paragraph.
So that's going to be bullet point by bullet point.
We recommend a separate paragraph for each bullet point.
So it's well organized.
This is also important for that cohesion coherence score.
So we'll do the first bullet point in a paragraph.
And then we're going to point out in that paragraph, The linking phrases, the vocabulary, the chunks, the phrases that make this formal.
All right.
So I'll start with the first paragraph.
We should have three total paragraphs.
Here's the first of three.
I'm writing to express my dissatisfaction with a stay at your hotel from August 12th through the 15th of this year.
I chose your hotel primarily because of its convenient location and the positive reviews highlighting comfort and high service standards.
Unfortunately, my experience did not reflect these claims.
Yes, you can see this is directly addressing that bullet point.
Explain why you chose this hotel.
You can't just dive in with complaints.
You have to address that bullet point, right?
Yep.
So we're sharing why we chose it because of the convenient location and the positive reviews.
But notice all of these formal structures here.
We say I'm writing to express my dissatisfaction instead of the more formal maybe to tell you about.
I'm writing to tell you about this. you know, to tell you that I'm upset instead.
Much more formal.
Yeah, that's much more formal.
I totally agree.
All right.
Moving into bullet point two, paragraph two.
Let me share just one more here.
This is interesting too, that we say, you know, my stay did not reflect these claims.
Instead of maybe using a phrasal verb, like it didn't turn out this way.
That's so much more casual, more conversational, more informal to say It didn't turn out the way I expected.
So instead, we use this more formal structure.
My experience did not reflect these claims.
So phrasal verbs and idioms are quite a bit more informal.
Great for informal or semi-formal letters.
You want to avoid them for the most part in these formal letters.
So important.
Again, look how important tone is.
Tone ties in with vocabulary, idioms, that kind of thing.
Huge, huge.
All right, let's move on to that second paragraph.
Do you want to read it for us?
Yes.
To begin with, the room I was allocated was lackluster, with an air conditioning unit that was not functioning properly.
Consequently, the room was uncomfortably warm throughout my visit.
In addition, the room was cramped and inadequately cleaned, with visible dust on the furniture and stained bedding.
Despite raising these issues with the front desk, no action was taken.
All right.
Oh, a lot of formal structures and vocabulary.
Notice all of these linking phrases, to begin with, consequently, in addition.
And then a linking phrase to begin, despite raising these issues with the front desk, comma, right?
So we're linking ideas together.
We don't just want choppy, disjointed, simple sentences.
Yes, totally agree.
I like how we use the word allocated, right?
I was not given, right?
The room I was allocated was lackluster.
Really good vocab there.
Yeah, this band nine vocabulary here.
Lackluster meaning disappointing, not up to expectations.
And then we say not functioning properly.
Instead of not working should be a little bit more informal and just lower scoring more common.
Mm-hmm.
What else, Aubrey?
What else can we point out here?
We have this adverb inadequately.
Instead of maybe poorly or badly, we say the room was cramped and inadequately cleaned.
That's benign and much more formal.
Yeah.
Or instead of just saying the room wasn't clean.
That's too simple, too straightforward for a formal letter, right?
Exactly.
And then I like how we said no action was taken.
Instead of no one did anything, we're using the passive voice here, right?
Which feels more formal.
Yes.
The passive voice shows up a lot in this essay.
That's another great way to get that formal tone.
It's not used nearly as often in conversation.
And that's what you're trying to avoid is that conversational tone.
You want it to feel more formal.
All right.
We've got one more paragraph.
And let me remind our listeners what the bullet point is, that we're answering in the third paragraph.
So the bullet point is say what action you expect the hotel to take.
So let's see how we answered that one.
Aubrey, do you want to read that?
Yes.
Perfect.
In light of these issues, I believe a partial refund would be appropriate.
Alternatively, I would appreciate a formal apology along with a discount on a future stay as compensation for the inconvenience caused.
I trust that you will take this matter seriously and address these shortcomings to prevent similar complaints in the future.
I look forward to your prompt response.
And then you can just sign sincerely with your name.
Yes, very formal, very straightforward.
So let's see, where do we start here?
A couple of great linking phrases, right?
In light of these issues, comma, to start it, and then also alternatively.
Alternatively, I would appreciate those are band nine linking phrases.
Yeah, and I like how we said, I believe a partial refund would be appropriate.
And instead of just saying Aubrey, something like I want a refund or I want a partial refund, that's too casual.
Right.
Exactly.
Right.
So that passive voice again, a refund would be appropriate instead of.
I want a refund, which sometimes people will use that kind of language in a complaint letter, but it does not strike the formal tone that the examiner is looking for.
Exactly.
And again, it's all about the examiner.
And then also we said I would appreciate a formal apology instead of saying I want.
So I want is always casual.
Exactly.
Right.
The more direct you are, the more informal it is.
So instead of saying I want an apology, I would appreciate a formal politeness is also more formal.
Yes.
Yes.
And it's funny how, in real life, I feel like things have gotten.
I feel like this would have been a letter someone might have sent like 50 years ago.
But now I feel in real life outside of IELTS, now people have gotten a lot more casual.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes, it's so true, which makes this more difficult because we don't hear this formal language as much.
Definitely must be practiced before test day.
Just a couple more here saying I trust that you will instead of I want you to.
That's band nine.
Students don't often use this chunk.
I trust that you will do this.
Right.
Or even better in the passive.
I trust that this will be done.
I trust that my requests will be met.
Yep.
And then we also continue with address these shortcomings, instead of saying something casual like do what I've asked or do what I ask.
Exactly.
I trust that you will address these shortcomings instead of you better do what I asked.
And it becomes a completely different essay, a much more high scoring essay, because we're properly answering the question with the right tone.
Yes.
Oh, amazing.
I am so excited about this series for you to really see what it looks like, the tone.
If you missed part one and part two, go check them out now.
1550 was terrific tone for IELTS essays.
Part one, informal letters, and then 54, part two, semi-formal letters.
And so for each of those, we also gave you a band nine example with everything you need to know to set that tone.
Awesome.
Really good stuff today.
Really interesting to see how we answered each bullet point in a very systematic way.
So I think our listeners can learn a lot from this episode today, Aubrey.
Absolutely.
Yes.
If you know someone studying for IELTS, share this series.
I haven't seen a lot about this, and this is a mistake.
We see students make a lot to have this amazing essay that answers all the bullet points and then doesn't have consistent tone.
Gosh, I know.
What a shame, right?
We've worked so hard to answer the question.
And then if we don't have the tone, we can't score, as you said, Aubrey, above a six or seven.
Not even a six if you don't have correct consistent tone.
Definitely not a seven.
Yeah.
All right.
Really good stuff, guys.
Hit the follow button if you love the way we approach IELTS.
And we'll see you next time.
Awesome.
See you guys next time.
Take care.
Bye.
Thanks for listening to IELTS Energy.
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