So everyone always sees the highlights, right?
They see, Goldman Sachs, Stanford Business School raised millions of dollars for my startup and everyone's like oh John, you're living the immigrant American dream.
But what they don't see are just the humble beginnings, right?
Immigrant kids, single mom, grew up in the South, one of very few people of color.
And so in today's video, I'm going to teach you guys how to make it in society without money, without connections, while we go get done some.
So growing up I used to be really embarrassed of even going to go eat Asian food because as a kid I was like one of very few people of color.
And I just remember kids at school would like make fun of me for having a smelly lunch.
And so I was really ashamed of having this whole Asian cultural heritage to me, because as a kid you naturally just want to fit in.
And at the same time, I really struggled at home because my mom, being the great Asian tiger mom that she was, put a lot of pressure on me to perform in school.
So while I was doing Kumon or SAT prep, or just getting A's and never B's, I really struggled with this tension of trying to fit in at school and being American while also, at the same time, living up to my Asian immigrant heritage and the cultural expectations there.
But what I didn't realize at the time is that all of my differences were actually my unique competitive advantage.
And so today I'm going to teach you guys the three steps to crushing it as an immigrant kid.
Step number one is to learn how to play the game.
Step number two is to start playing and winning the game.
And then step number three is the fun part, which is taking your unique immigrant background and using that actually as a competitive advantage where you actually start to get to make new roles to the game.
I mean look how sick that is.
So what do i mean by learning how to play the game?
So basically, if you see life as this game and you want to win that game or do well in that game whether that's you know being really successful making a lot of money, hope you know finding a great partner, hopefully it's being really happy and fulfilled whatever you want your game to be, there are certain rules to that of how to actually be successful.
And what's tough for us as immigrants is by definition as immigrants, we are outsiders.
And so when we move to this society or this new culture that isn't necessarily ours, there are a lot of rules by which that society plays that we have to learn ourselves because we didn't grow up in it.
And that makes it really tough to start playing the game unless you know what those rules are.
So, to use me as an example, I grew up in Country Club North Carolina, where my mom and I looked literally nothing like everyone else, and we're nowhere near as wealthy.
And so, in order to learn how to fit in, I had to learn all the rules of this society, because I was just like a little kid who wanted to stop being bullied.
And when I thought about my eventual goals in life, which were just to be financially independent for me and my family, to have a meaningful and fulfilling career and just be happy and safe as a human being, I had to learn what roles in this society I had to play by in order to get to actually achieve that.
And so when I started observing the social norms of this game and seeing what led to people getting accepted in society and being successful and being able to pay the bills, number one was, you know, they got an education, they succeeded in their career.
And then on top of that, they were good to other people.
And so when I thought about the rules by which I wanted to play and win this game for myself and my family, my loved ones, it was all about playing to those rules because Cool.
Awesome.
Thank you so much.
Oh, these are awesome.
And so now the next question for step number two is how do you play the game and actually win the game?
Well, that's actually pretty straightforward once you've learned the rules of the game.
Basically, whether you want to be a successful artist or a successful entrepreneur, there are stamps of approval that one can collect, or like these milestones in life that one can collect.
That will actually make your path to that eventual step and that eventual goal easier.
So, using me as an example again i, you know, wanted to eventually be my own successful entrepreneur And I asked myself what way could I set myself up to be most successful in actually getting to pursue that dream?
And so, looking at the rules of the game, I went about checking off a couple of boxes that I knew would set me up for success.
Number one, I worked my way into a four-year public university.
I studied computer science and business there while I worked to pay off my loans.
Number two, I hustled my way into a job at Goldman Sachs on Wall Street.
I cold called my way into that, worked super hard for it.
And then lastly, I went to Stanford Business School to get a great education and a great stamp of approval on my resume.
And in no way am I telling you that you have to conform to society or play by these specific rules, but how I thought about it was there's really no way that I would have been able to raise 5 million for my startup had I not accrued these stamps of approval that society needed to actually even justify me getting to pursue my dream.
To use an example of someone who's way more successful than me, that's coming from an immigrant background Lin-Manuel Renner, the director and producer of Ian Hamilton.
I doubt there was any possible way that he would have been able to launch his very own Broadway show had he not already been an Emmy-winning producer.
Because what these stamps of approval do is they buy you a seat at the table to start to dictate your own life and choose your own adventure.
And I actually I can't say it actually as well as Chamath Palpatai does, so we'll play this clip of him.
First order of business is I want to break through and be at that table.
That's the first order of business.
And the way that I do that is by proving that I can do what they do as well as they do it, basically saying that the reason why he's worked so hard in business is to buy his seat at the table, to start changing society, to be more inclusive for everyone.
Because that actually brings us to the very last step, which is the most fun part, which is using your unique immigrant background as your competitive advantage and using it to change the rules of the game so that you and more people can start winning.
That was really good.
So remember how I was telling you before how embarrassed I was of being Asian?
Well, that's because I didn't realize that my Asian identity, like these little dumplings, was something to actually be proud of rather than embarrassed of, but also gave me extra tools to be even more successful, had I only just had one identity.
And what I mean by that is growing up, there were all these ways that I was made fun of for being a nerd, because I was Asian, I was into math and science, that I didn't realize that I should actually be really grateful for that cultural heritage around performing well in school because it actually allowed me to differentiate in business, where not only was I a business major but on top of that I was really good at math and science and I ended up getting a computer science degree.
That has helped me a ton more in my career, whether it was from recruiting for banking and differentiating from other candidates there, or now in building my own software startup.
And the other thing that I think about when it comes to being an immigrant kid and also being an underdog, is this kind of a hot take, but in some weird ways I'm actually grateful that we came from lesser backgrounds and we were you know, honestly we're a lot poorer than everyone else was because it actually gave me a greater sense of work ethic and responsibility, because you just had to work harder to put food on the table.
And I would actually argue that That's why I ended up being so successful in my Wall Street recruiting days, because everyone had all these family connections.
They're like, dad knew someone.
And just thanks to my immigrant mom, who gave me this incredible sense of work ethic, I just honestly, I outworked the competition and got what I wanted through sheer willpower.
And so the point that I wanna drill in your head is that your differences are your unique advantage.
And so the big secret here is to actually combine both of your cultures somewhat, like Lin-Manuel Miranda did with Hamilton, where he took a conventional Broadway play and what makes traditional Broadway successful, and then he combined that with his Hispanic roots and made one of the most successful Broadway plays of all time.
And what's cool about this, it is not just me and Lynn using this best of both worlds strategy.
Because when you think about all the most successful people and hottest people right now in music and the arts and entertainment, they're mostly people who are combining two different cultures as immigrants.
And so, as you think about your immigrant journey, I want you to realize that number one if it's hard right now, I promise you things will get better.
I've learned that over time.
I promise you if you work hard, especially, and you just persist, things will get better.
But on top of that, if you actually use this sorry, this is awkward, but if you actually use these three steps around number one, learning how to play the game for whatever goals you want to hit.
And then number two, applying that immigrant work ethic to actually crushing it.
These are this awesome last third step that I'm starting to step into myself, which is taking your unique background, like eating Chinese food, enjoying yourself and learning how to play the game and win in an entirely different way because of that background.
So, with that being said, I'm going to dive into the rest of this food and I will see you guys next week.
