Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the Easy English Podcast.
I'm your host Oliver, and today I want to talk about something which I think is quite useful when studying English.
And I've talked about it a few times before, but I've never really done a proper guide, or maybe some tips.
And that is about how to sound more polite in English.
So why do I want to talk about that?
Well, for a start, in the English language, especially in those most common anglosphere countries, so like the UK, the US Canada Australia, politeness and informal communication is quite important, more so in the likes of the UK and Canada than the rest, but it's still very important in English.
And often when we translate our native language directly into English, it can come across a little bit impolite at times.
So it can seem quite direct, maybe very abrupt, And not the politest it can be in English.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
There's nothing wrong with other languages, with direct communication.
It's just one of those little problems of translation and cultural differences.
I've talked about it before, but there are direct and indirect cultures with language.
And the UK, and even to an extent the US and especially Canada as well, have quite a lot of indirect communication.
So more politeness and less direct, harsh speech.
Harsh as in maybe quite straight, quite difficult, quite raw speech.
Okay.
So Sometimes I guess my point is, sometimes even if your English is very, very good, you might accidentally sound a little bit too direct or even a little bit rude.
So that's why today I want to specifically help you guys out with some key phrases, maybe some small changes and some cultural tips today to help you sound more polite and therefore, as a result, more natural in English too.
So a little bit more like how other people do speak.
So, to start with, we're going to look at what I consider the three magic words, And these are the three magic words of politeness.
And I would say that they are could, would and may.
So we'll start with a very simple trick today, and that is using these softer words instead of more direct ones.
You don't have to do this all the time, by the way.
If you're communicating with a close friend, a partner, of course you don't need to be crazy with all of this politeness all the time, because you know each other.
But in public or with someone that you know a little less, then these will come in very useful.
And if you just want to be extra nice, it's fine too.
So, for example, instead of you saying give me a coffee or give me the glass, which in English sounds very demanding
So it sounds quite rude based on the culture of our language.
In other languages, I know it's totally normal.
It's not rude.
It's normal.
And that's fine.
But in English, you should try and say, could I have a coffee, please?
Or may I have a coffee, please?
Instead.
So using those softer words, particularly even if you don't say please, even using could or may instead of give is a little bit of a better way to say that.
So it's a very small change, but it sounds much friendlier and even more polite.
And would is also a great word to make things softer.
Instead of using want, for example, like I want to talk to you, you could try and say I would like to talk to you, or I would like to have a chat with you.
So you can notice how it sounds more gentle in English.
So whenever you can, you should swap can for could or want for would like.
Use some of those softer options.
Again, you don't have to do it all the time, but I'm just trying to teach you how people actually do it here.
You won't hear people in public say, give me that or give me this.
They will say, you know, would you... pass me that or would you give me it and it's it's softer it's more common and therefore it is seen as more normal and natural in english okay the next point is and i've touched on it a little bit before and that is adding please thank you and maybe i appreciate it or something along those lines So we all know that please and thank you are polite words.
They exist in most languages, but in English, they are super important.
And what I mean by that is that I know in other languages, with my own personal experience of studying Russian.
People, of course, use please and thank you, but they're a lot less important.
You don't need to say please all of the time.
It's a little bit strange, to be honest, in Russian.
And I used to say it all the time.
I used to say, like, пожалуйста, пожалуйста, like, please.
And people would find it a little bit strange, like I was doing it too much.
But in English, this is totally normal, even with friends and family.
We use please and thank you with every request and after every answer.
So instead of saying send me the file you, you could say uh, could you send me the file please?
Or instead of saying um, like call me, call me now, you can say could you call me now, please?
And adding that please makes it sound a little bit softer in English and it lets people know that you would like it.
You would really like it.
Because in English we express a lot of emotion through the choice of words that we use.
Because we have quite an indirect culture.
People often don't express directly um what they mean, so we tend to choose certain words and styles of speaking or ways to maybe express emotions.
So, for example, if i said to you, send me that file or that email, It sounds to me in English like quite serious, quite oh.
Wow, I need to send them that file.
It's super serious.
He sounds angry at me.
Whereas if they say you know, send me the file please even, or could you send me the file please?
It sounds normal.
It sounds like a calm, soft request.
So it's just one example of how the perspective within the language might be a little bit different from your own native language.
And, of course, really important again to say thank you at the end after someone helps you or answers your question or request.
A lot of native speakers use I appreciate it or even in very informal cases cheers, for example, because it sounds quite warm and sincere.
Okay, so sometimes we also in English, and I'm not necessarily recommend that you do this, because I think it's quite unnecessary sometimes, but we soften our requests with extra words.
So instead of saying, for example, I need help with this, we might say you know, I was wondering if you could help me with this.
Or, you know, I was thinking that you could help me with this.
Is that okay?
There's a million ways that I could think of saying that one phrase in a more polite, indirect way.
Another example, let's say you want to say, come over here.
You could say instead, would you mind coming over here for a second?
And to me, these second phrases sound so much more natural.
And I'm actually almost laughing at them because I realize how stupid it is or how pointless it is to add so many extra words.
But again, like I said, this is the culture of the language.
And unfortunately, that's the way it is.
So just be careful about how direct and short your sentences are.
Try to add those softening words to it.
Don't stress too much about adding too many words like this.
Don't make crazy long sentences for requests.
Just follow the basic tips, like please, thank you, and could, would, those types of things.
Okay, now I've got a couple more points in my notes here.
And the next one I think is very important.
But very briefly, before I read this next one, I just want to say I'm not going to show an ad or anything.
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Okay, let's go to the next point.
So avoiding direct no's.
Now, sometimes we need to say no, but in English we often avoid saying it directly or very directly.
So instead of saying no, I can't, we would say something, often like I'm afraid I can't or I'd love to, but I'm really busy.
Usually, we would maybe express that we are annoyed or upset that we can't do something and give a very soft reason as to why we can't, rather than just say no, I can't.
If you want to refuse an offer politely, You could say you know that's really kind of you, but I'll have to pass, or unfortunately I can't.
And this way, you're still polite in English, even when saying no.
I guess in English, to me, it seems like no is very harsh.
It sounds quite serious within the culture of the language.
So, yeah, I would always recommend using those softer ways to say no.
Of course, don't do it for every no.
You know, for yes and no questions, of course, you can just say no.
But if someone is requesting your time or asking you to do something and you can't or you don't want to just use that softer approach.
Okay, so let me have a look at my notes, see if there is any more here.
Okay yeah, the final point I would like to talk about which is very suitable because we are coming towards the end of our conversation together is ending conversations politely.
When you're finishing a conversation, don't just walk away, of course.
Don't just say like, oh, I'm going bye.
We often use a polite closing phrase.
So, for example, we'll say it was great talking to you, or I enjoyed this conversation, or I've got to go back to work.
I hope you have a nice day.
It's a simple way to leave a good impression and to leave the conversation politely.
My advice to students on this is always just tell the truth.
Think about something that you've enjoyed or a reason and use it to basically say goodbye.
If you enjoyed talking to that person, say it.
Say, I really enjoyed this conversation, but I've got to go.
If you hope that they have a nice day, say it.
If you don't, and you didn't like any of it and you can't wait to leave, then maybe don't say that, but do say a reason like, even if it literally just is I have to get going now or I have to go goodbye, that's better than nothing.
It's better than kind of awkwardly finishing the conversation.
So those are my tips for sounding more polite in English.
I hope that this was interesting.
I know it's quite a maybe complicated or weird topic for learners, particularly if you come from a more direct culture.
I understand that other cultures do also have a lot of formal speech, like particularly I'm thinking of my fans or my listeners in Japan and other countries with a lot of sort of polite language as well.
So it will be familiar to some of you, but very strange to others.
Thank you so much for listening.
It was great talking to you.
You see what I did there?
I've got to go now and edit this episode to publish it.
But I hope that you have a lovely day.
And if you could please subscribe or follow if you're new and leave a comment about what you enjoyed in this episode.
I would really appreciate it.
Thank you so much, and have an amazing rest of your day.
Goodbye.
