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Welcome back to Podcasts and Chill.
I'm Leo. And I'm Gwen.
How's your English learning going lately?
be honest still telling yourself that watching YouTube with subtitles counts as practice very specifically oh personal experience guilty I used to binge shows and think I was fluent until someone asked how's your day and I froze oh I've been there I practiced ordering coffee all week then panicked and asked for water ha ha I remember how scary it felt I knew the words but my mouth was was like, nope.
It's frustrating, right?
Your brain is full, but all that comes out is, uh, yes.
Exactly. So, if you've ever frozen in a conversation or avoided speaking, you're not alone.
Which brings us to today's topic.
Something that makes almost every English learner panic.
That's right. Confidence.
You know, that thing we all want, but don't really know how to get.
Especially when speaking English.
One awkward pause, and suddenly you're panicking over every word like it's a math test. Relatable, but hey, we've got you.
Because here's the truth, confidence is not something you're born with, it's something you train.
Like learning to make perfect pancakes, it takes time, patience, and a few burnt ones.
In this episode, we'll break down what confidence really looks like, what habits might be holding you back, and how to build it, step by step.
And most importantly, we'll give you 7 easy ways to become more confident when speaking English and in conversations.
We're not just throwing fancy ideas at you.
You'll hear practical steps, honest stories, and a free PDF you can grab to practice on your own.
Plus, if any words confuse you, don't worry.
We'll explain all the useful vocab at the end of the episode.
So let's get into it.
Alright, Gwen. When you hear confident person, what comes to mind?
And not just the loudest person in the room.
Oh, please. The loudest one is usually just the most nervous with extra volume settings.
Not gonna lie. They're basically emotional surround sound, but real confidence.
What's that really like?
Well, it's subtle. It's when someone tries something new, even if they might mess up.
Like speaking, even if they're not sure the grammar is right.
Yeah, they're not afraid to try.
They don't freeze just because it's not perfect.
And they accept compliments like normal humans.
Unlike me. If someone says, your English is great, I go, ha ha, no, I suck.
Leo, you don't have to wrestle every kind word. You deserve it.
Okay, thanks. That felt weird, but kind of nice.
See? Growth. But hey, confident people just say, thanks, like a normal person who knows how to accept a win.
They're decisive, too.
You know, not that, I don't know, maybe energy.
Oh, yeah, the verbal shrug.
Not very confident, huh?
They also speak in their own way.
No need to copy others or talk like a robot.
Thank goodness. Nobody wants to sound like, according to recent research, chill, you're just ordering fries.
Right? Confidence isn't about always sounding smart.
It's about being real, being yourself.
and confidence isn't about always winning it's staying positive when things are hard they flip I can't into let's try ha I've been there said world five times in a row once and ended up inventing a new language did you nail it of course not did I panic also yes but less than usual progress you didn't run away and that counts but confidence isn't just about speaking speaking up.
Sometimes, the most confident thing you can do is stay quiet and really listen.
Man. Remind me of this shy guy in my English class years ago.
His pronunciation was not really good.
His grammar? All over the place.
And? One day he just read an entire essay in front of the class.
He was shaking. But when he finished, everyone cheered like crazy.
I swear where I thought he was about to cry from happiness.
Oh, so people were really proud of him because he finally did something brave, right?
Yeah, I think trying in front of others takes more guts than we think.
And when people see that, they don't judge, they support.
Get this six months later, his English had improved faster than anyone else's.
Because he dared to try, not fluency, just bravery.
And you know what happens When you start taking those little risks, suddenly you're speaking more, learning faster.
It's like finding a secret trick to learn faster.
And people start to feel your energy, too.
Confident people give off this safe, warm vibe that makes others want to connect.
True, unless you're too confident.
Don't be like my friend Tom.
He always says, actually, in America, they say, like he invented America.
That's funny, Leo. But when you get it right, it builds better relationships and honestly, makes life more fun.
Fun like when you understand jokes in English for the first time.
Best feeling ever. And pride.
Don't forget that. Confidence makes you proud of trying, even when you mess up.
That's when opportunities start finding you.
Because you finally stopped hiding.
Huh, that's growth, baby.
So this is what confidence feels like.
More talking, faster learning, better connections, and more good stuff in your life.
Couldn't have said it better.
Okay, we know what confidence looks like.
But do you know what happens to it?
Confidence doesn't just disappear overnight, right?
One day you're vibing, feeling okay, and the next, you're second -guessing every word. Oh, I've got a checklist. list. These little habits sneak up and zap your confidence before you notice.
Hit me with it. Let's call out these bad habits.
First up, caring way too much about what others think.
It's like carrying a backpack full of rocks, heavy and useless.
Oof, guilty. What if they laugh?
What if I say coffee as cuff fee?
That kind of worry blocks your voice.
Yeah. You say something, then immediately wonder, did I sound dumb?
Meanwhile, no one even blinked.
Most people are way too busy worrying about themselves to judge your every word. And yet, we still feel nervous, even when there's no real danger.
Next one, it's sneaky but real.
Feeling nervous before you speak.
Your shoulders tense up.
Dry mouth. Heart beating fast. God, the worst thing is when your body is stressed, your brain shuts down.
Like, I'm not helping you today.
It happens. But the more you avoid speaking, the harder it gets next time.
No kidding. I remember this one time in college.
I had to introduce myself in a group.
Just one sentence. But my palms were sweating like crazy and all I said was, Hi, I'm Leo and I like pizza.
At least you were honest. Sure.
After that, I avoided speaking for weeks.
I was so scared I'd mess up again.
That's the trap. Avoiding doesn't make the fear go away.
It just feeds it. And when that fear builds up, it starts to change how we act without us even realizing.
Like, ever catch yourself avoiding eye contact?
Ooh, yeah. Looking at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere but the person I'm talking to.
And the problem is, even if you're saying something smart, avoiding eye contact sends a message like, I don't trust my own words.
I had this friend. Super smart.
Flawless English. But every time she spoke, she stared at her notebook.
People thought she was unsure, though she clearly knew what she was saying.
Confidence isn't just what you say.
It's how you carry it.
And then there's the whispering.
Whisper mode on. It's like, I'm here, but my voice isn't.
Yeah, it's as if your words might explode.
No one can hear you, even if your sentence is perfect.
I used to do that. I'd mumble and hope no one noticed.
Spoiler, they noticed.
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
Everyone's been there.
We all mess up. especially when we're nervous.
Another habit that sneaks in?
Dwelling on old mistakes.
Oh no, don't expose me like that.
I mean it. Replaying old fails in your head like a broken tick -tock loop.
Ugh, I said he go instead of he goes last week.
Hey remember when I mixed up past and present tense that one time?
Oh god yes, you couldn't let it go!
Every time you spoke after that you'd be like sorry if i make a mistake before you even made one ah yes good times leo please tell me you've let that go by now maybe not that's the thing nobody remembers it like you do you keep it on replay in your head but most people forget it five seconds later yeah yeah i I know.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Confident people let go of the past. They don't drag it around like luggage at the airport.
You really carried that suitcase for years?
Don't worry. I'm trying my best to forget it.
Got any more confidence crushers hiding in your pocket?
Well, last one. Being unsure all the time.
I know that one. That constant, um, maybe, I think, energy just drains your confidence.
That's right. It shows you don't believe your own words.
Even when you're right, if you sound unsure, people will believe you're wrong.
You know, it sounds like a lot.
All of these bad habits.
Now calm down. No need to panic.
These things can get better.
They're just habits, and habits can change.
Ooh, practical times, everybody.
I've got seven simple ways to help you train your confidence, step by step.
No perfection required.
Okay, but we're talking real steps here, right?
Not just believe -in -yourself fluff.
Real steps. Actual results if you stick with them.
So, get ready, soldier!
Here we go, the heart of the episode.
Gwen, kick us off. What's the first way to build confidence?
First, start small.
Don't wait until you can give a big speech. So, not waiting until I can quote some popular authors?
Obviously. I'm talking about saying hi to the barista, ordering your coffee in English.
Or sending a five -second voice message to your friend saying good morning and hoping you didn't butcher the word morning.
That's it. Confidence doesn't magically appear after doing scary things.
It grows from tiny wins you collect over time.
Like building a Lego tower.
Start with one brick.
Then boom! Next thing you know, you've got a castle.
And even if the castle leans a little, hey, you built it.
That's what matters.
Okay, tip number two?
Change your mindset.
Stop aiming for perfect English.
Aim for progress. Ooh, I like that.
Perfection is boring anyway.
I want to speak like a textbook robot.
No, you don't. If yesterday you said two sentences and today you say three, that's a level up.
We're all still learning, still figuring things out.
We don't have to get it right immediately.
You nailed it, Leo.
That actually leads to the third tip I wanted to share.
Wait, don't tell me.
I feel it coming. Is it self -love time?
Close. Be your own cheerleader.
Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to your best friend.
Not like a bully. So instead of, ugh, I suck at English, try saying, hey, I tried today, I showed up, that matters?
Exactly. Even just saying, I did something hard and I'm proud of it, makes a difference.
A little self -respect goes a long way, huh?
Huge difference. It helps you keep going even on days when things feel off.
So what's next? Hit me with tip number 4.
Continue with number 4, challenge yourself little by little.
Don't push too hard, just try small new things step by step.
Like baby steps eh?
Yeah! Each week try something that feels just a little scary but doable.
Talk to a tourist, join a small group or speak up during your next team meeting.
I remember joining this English speaking group once.
I said two words, two, but I left feeling like a legend.
Because that was a win.
That's how progress feels.
It's not loud, but it's real.
What else we got? Please don't say cold showers.
This one's easier. Fix your body language.
Uh, my what now? Are we doing yoga or giving speeches?
Haha, neither. Just stand up straight, keep your head up, and look people in the eye.
It actually tricks your brain into feeling more confident.
So my spine's been the problem this whole time?
Basically, yes. It's science.
People react better when you look open and friendly, not like you're bracing for impact.
Okay, okay. I'm fixing my posture right now.
You better be right, science.
What's next, Coach Gwen?
Tip 6. Be around people who lift you up, not bring you down.
Oof, yeah, if someone's always criticizing you, it drains your energy fast. You don't have to cut people off completely, but you can spend less time with those who bring you down.
Yeah, dump the toxic ones.
You don't need that kind of energy in your learning journey.
Healthy friends support you.
They cheer you on, correct you kindly and celebrate your effort.
Last one, right? Gimme something good.
here you go laugh at your mistakes I I've made so many like the time I told a girl I'm boring instead of I'm bored she laughs so hard we became friends uh -huh one language mistake turned into a new connection if you don't take it too seriously mistakes become learning moments yeah like small funny steps not big scary mistakes so don't freak out about mistakes everyone makes them laugh learn move on let's recap we've got start small shift your mindset hype yourself up push your limits fix your posture and choose good people and laugh off your mistakes boom that's seven sounds like a workout plan for self
-esteem keep trying and your confidence will come back I'm not saying I'm confident now but I did just sit up straighter proud of you One spinal victory at a time?
Phew, Gwen, we've talked about a lot today, some real confidence gems in there Totally, and hopefully, our listeners are feeling a little more seen and a little more hopeful You know what, I think this is a good time for a little vocab break We did sneak in some tricky words earlier, eh?
Of course, Leo, we've got to look out for our lovely listeners Let's break it down together.
First word, compliment.
A compliment is a nice thing you say to someone to make them feel good.
For example, your English is really improving.
That's a compliment.
Next up, decisive. If you're decisive, it means you can make decisions quickly and clearly.
Example, she was decisive and chose the restaurant in 5 seconds.
It's a great trait for confident speakers.
Word number three, dwelling.
To dwell on something means to keep thinking or worrying about it, especially something bad.
For example, I kept dwelling on my mistake in the meeting, even though no one else noticed.
Next word, self -respect.
Self -respect means you value yourself and treat yourself kindly.
Even after a mistake, I had self -respect and didn't call myself stupid.
And the last word, toxic.
In this case, toxic means a person who is always negative, judgmental, or hurtful.
Like when you stopped hanging out with toxic friends who made you feel small.
Whoa, Gwen. That was a ride.
Seven tips, some embarrassing stories, and maybe slightly better posture.
Look at you. Growth in real time.
I'm proud. proud. All right, let's bring it home.
If there's one thing you take away from this episode, let it be this.
Confidence isn't magic.
It's practice. You don't wait for it.
You build it like a sandwich with courage, small actions, and maybe some cheese.
So if you're feeling nervous today, that's totally okay.
Just take one small step.
Say hello. Join a class.
Tell yourself, self, I'm doing my best. Don't forget, we've got a free PDF with exercises to help you practice all the tips we gave today.
We'd love to hear from you.
Which of the tips are you going to try this week?
Let us know in the comments.
And what should we talk about next?
More speaking tips?
How to argue in English like a pro?
Ooh, that last one's calling my name.
Thanks for chilling with us today.
And remember, speak up, smile big, and if you mess up, own it with pride.
Until next time, stay chill, stay kind, stay confident.
This is Podcast and Chill.
Catch you in the next one.
Peace out. We'll see you next time.
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Pep talks where we give advice.
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