Cultivating Intentional Joy: The Holiday Fun List Strategy

As the holiday season approaches, the pressure to participate in endless festivities can often lead to burnout rather than joy. In this episode of the Before Breakfast podcast, host Laura VanderKam introduces a practical and highly effective strategy to reclaim the season: creating a "holiday fun list." By proactively curating a list of desired experiences, individuals can transform a chaotic calendar into a season of intentional, memorable moments.

The Dual Purpose of the List: Memory Making and Winnowing

Laura emphasizes that a holiday fun list serves two primary functions. Initially, when children are younger, the list acts as a tool to ensure that families are "making holiday memories" by participating in cherished traditions. However, as the season becomes busier, the list evolves into a mechanism to "winnow things down."

By evaluating which activities truly matter to family members, one can distinguish between high-priority events—such as a specific "breakfast with Santa" or a trip to see the "Christmas Spectacular"—and less meaningful obligations. This process prevents the common pitfall of reaching January only to realize that the most anticipated experiences were missed due to a lack of planning.

Strategic Planning and Prioritization

To effectively execute this plan, Laura suggests starting in mid-November. This timing allows families to reflect on what they have "liked over the past few years" and identify what was truly special or fun. The execution phase involves a tiered approach to scheduling:

• Fixed-Date Events: Experiences that occur only once, such as a "Christmas Eve service," must be prioritized and used as the framework around which other plans are built.
• Flexible Activities: Traditions like "baking cookies" or visiting light displays should be slotted into open windows of time.
• The Power of Saying 'No': Perhaps the most significant benefit of the list is the emotional freedom it provides. When a family has a clear plan, they don't have to "feel bad about not going to a particular light display." If an event does not make the "top dozen or so," it becomes perfectly acceptable to "let it go."

Avoiding the 'Busy Season' Trap

One of the central arguments of the podcast is that the holidays are an inherently "busy season." Without a curated list, individuals are prone to considering "all the things in the world" every time they look for a weekend activity. This decision fatigue can be paralyzing. By narrowing the scope to the "good stuff you know will happen," families can feel more organized and less overwhelmed.

Conclusion: Making the Most of Our Time

Ultimately, the holiday fun list is about agency. It is a proactive method to ensure that time is spent on what matters most. By asking family members what they would like to see "repeated" and focusing on the activities that offer the most value, we can avoid the exhaustion of the season. As Laura concludes, this practice is fundamentally about "making the most of our time," ensuring that the holidays are defined by the experiences we cherish rather than the ones that merely fill the calendar.