Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbinspodcast.
I am so awesomelyexcited.
That's not even aword. That's how excited I am that you are here with metoday.
We are going to have so muchfun.
It is always an honor to spend time with you and I would acknowledge you first of all for choosing to listen to something that is going to help you create a betterlife.
That is so great that you take time foryourself.
If you are a newlistener, if somebody forwarded this episode to you and waslike, you got to listen tothis.
I want to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcastfamily.
I am Mel Robbins and I'm on a mission to empower and inspire you with tools and the expert resources that you need and that you deserve that are going to help you create a more meaningfullife.
Have you noticed the word longevity is literallyeverywhere.
Imean, it's like every time you turnaround, people are talking aboutlongevity,longevity,longevity.
And if I stop and think about the wordlongevity, it's not just about living a longtime.
It's about living a life where you are connected to people that youlove, where you're healthy enough so that you can keep doing the things that youlove.
Imean, I personally do not want to slowdown.
I don't want to become one of these statistics where you are isolated and alone and you're disconnected fromeverybody.
I don't want to be living a life or I can't pick up my own suitcase and put it in the car because I want to be going ontrips.
I know you dotoo. I know you want to live a long life and to feelenergized.
You want tolaugh. You want to be surrounded by friends and family all the way to theend,right?
Of course youdo. You want to be connected to your lovedones.
You want to travel around the world and maybe even be more active than you've ever been because you're notworking.
And so when you think about that vision for yourself andlongevity, don't you want to learn the secrets from someone who's living their life thatway?
Well,today, holycow, I have a very special and unique person to introduce youto.
And it took me a long time to get on her calendar because the woman is sobusy.
So let me tell you a little bit about her from skydiving to getting a tattoo to traveling the world to rockingbikinis, dabbling in psychedelic guidedtherapy, walking a minimum of 10,000 steps aday.
These are just some of the things in the day of a life of the woman that you're about tomeet.
And I'm talking about my 86 year oldmother-in-law, JudyRobbins.
And one of the things that I find so inspiring about Judy is that she became a widow at the age of 67 when her husband of 40 years died of a soft jailcancer.
And I have watched her completely create a whole new life for herself over these last 19years.
And she is without a doubt the most happyalive, well-connected person that Iknow.
And she's got a busier life than any25,35,45, or 56 year old woman like me that Iknow.
Andtoday, Judy is here sharing every single one of her secrets for longevity and moreimportantly, how you can create a long and happy life that you actuallyenjoy.
And after listening to today'sepisode, you're not going to be afraid ofaging.
You'll embrace theopportunity.
And you'll learn the crucial life lessons that people learn tolight.
I love this time of year because we're all thinking about goals and priorities and what wewant.
But have you had a take of vacation to the list because youshould?
And right now is the perfect time to plan your trip and all you need is onewebsite.
Say hello toExpedia. Onestop,shop, for killer vacationplanning.
Expedia literally has every tool and everything you need to plan a greattrip.
Download the Expedia app or visit Expedia.com to startplanning.
You do need to be a one-key member to use pricetracking.
Signing up is easy andfree.
Expedia made totravel.
We've all beenthere. You have a question about your creditcard.
You call the number for help and you can't get a hold ofanyone.
If only you had a discovercard.
With 24 seven US-based live customer service fromdiscover, everyone has the option to talk to a real person anytime day ornight.
Yep, you heard thatright, a realperson.
Get the customer service you deserve withdiscover, limitationsapply.
See terms at discover.com slash creditcard.
A, it's your friend Mel and today you and I are spending time with one of thesmallest, bad-astest women Iknow.
I knowagain, another word that doesn't really makesense, but you know what Imean.
I'm talking about the pint-sizedpowerhouse, my mother-in-law JudyRobbins.
Now she clocks in at four foot 11 and that's withheels.
She issmart. She'sentertaining.
She'sloving. She's fun and she's almost 87 yearsold.
But she's not even close to being done withlife.
Infact, Judy does more before 10a.m.
most mornings than Ido.
And today she's back on the podcast taking yourquestions.
Because when she was here about a yearago, you almost broke the internet with the amount of questions that you sentin.
You wanted more fromJudy.
And so I got a stack of them righthere.
I have no idea what she is about tosay, which is part of thefun.
So pull up a chair because I invite you to join this deeply fun and profound conversation with me and my mother inlaw, JudyRobbins.
And I have no doubt you are going to love her as much as Ido.
So please join me in welcoming backV, one andonly, JudyRobbins.
I'm so glad you'reback.
It's good to beback,Mel.
We have so many questions from listeners around theworld, from your last appearance on the Mel Robbinspodcast.
Oh, Imean, you have been a fanfavorite.
Does that surpriseyou?
Itdoes.Yes, itdoes. I'm notsurprised.
And here'swhy. It's one thing to hear the research and the strategies and the recommendations from a medical doctor or somebody who researchesit.
It's another thing to hear the secrets of an 86 86 86 year old woman 87 in September 87 year old woman who is scaling mountains and jumping out of airplanes and wearing bikinis and exercising everyday, having a glass ofwine, laughing your way throughlife.
And you just have this remarkableattitude.
And so you are an expert in longevity with lived experience and you're demonstrating something that peoplewant.
And so we got so many questions as a follow up to our conversation about your secret tolife.
And where I want to go is just dive into some specific things about your daily routineexercising, the fact that you're so mobile andstrong.
And a lot of you want to know your 86 soon to be87.
When did you start workingout?
How old wereyou? I startedrunning, Ithink, when I was about33,34.
Okay. Why did you start running at33?
Because my husband wasrunning.
Oh, you're trying to keep up withhim.
Yeah, hardly since he'ssix,too.
But he decided to start running for whateverreason.
I think running was becoming kind of the thing todo.
I you probably don't remember way back Jimfix.
No, I do that isno.Well, he was like the firstrunner.
And it just became kind of the thing todo.
Iguess.Gotcha. So that would be well over 50 yearsago.
Yeah. So we're talking the early 70s if I'm doing mymath,right?
Yeah. So in the early70s, you were in your mid30s, you started workingout.
And also people and then were you just consistently working out all thetime?
Once you startedrunning?
Well, it's interesting because I have the same pattern today that I did backthen.
And that Ken and I had these books ontape, which you could order them from thiscompany.
And they came in abox, a wholebook.
And they were thecassettes.
And we would put the cassette and I would listen to history and things that I wasn't going toread.
Right. And but then when I started to get into bookslike, youknow, novels and things and got I wanted to get up everymorning.
So I could listen to the nextchapter.
Oh, that's a good littlehack.
And so you said you still do the same thing over 50 yearslater.
What does thatmean? I listened to a book every time Iwalk.
And I also read abook. So I always have two booksgoing.
A lot of listeners around the world want to know now that you're86, what's your exact routine when it comes to exercising yourbody?
Oh,well, I walk every day four milesanyhow.
And how do you know it's fourmiles?
Because I look at my Applewatch.
Gotcha. And does it have to be fourmiles?
No, it can befive, but it can't beless.
I love that youknow, it can bemore, but it can't beless.
Why can't it be less than I getguilt?
Youknow, then I have to walk someplace else to make it up to bethat.
Okay. So forsure, you are out there walking four miles aday.
And then I try and do yoga at leastonce, maybetwice, because I think it's really important if you're a walker or a runner to do something likeyoga.
And you mean twice or twice aweek?
Yeah.Okay. So once or twice aweek, you're going to a workoutclass.
And then every singleday, you try to get four milesin.
Do you ever work out withfriends?
No, notreally. Imean, I'll walk withfriends.
Yeah.Definitely. If somebody wants to take awalk, I'llwalk.
Okay. As long as they walk as far as Ido.
Okay. And you find in your 80s that you have a lot of friends that will walk four miles with you or notreally?
Well, I think one of the perks that I have is that I have a lot of youngerfriends.
So I would say most of my friends are in their70s.
I love that you're saying my younger friends are70s.
Well, I haveyou.Yes. And I have mygrandchildren.
But Imean, myfriends, youknow, that I hang out with are probably in their70s.
I don't have anyfriends.
My age who arewalking. Gotit.
And thefriends, yourage, were they not walking back in their 70seither?
I don't thinkso. Imean, I think that's the whole thing aboutexercise.
There's so many people myage, men andwomen, men inparticular, where I will encourage them toexercise.
And youknow, if they haven't been doingit, they're not going to startnow.
Imean, like their attitude iswhy.
Yeah. I'm finewithout.
So why would Istart?Well, what would you say to somebody who is older and who has never made it part of their daily routine to get outside and even just get in a couple of milewalk?
What would you say tothem?
When they'relike,yeah,why?
Because first ofall, you aren't astired.
So I would say that would be the impetus more than anything else that gives you moreenergy.
Imean, no doubt aboutit.
We all want to take a snooze in on like a 3.34 o'clock in the afternoon if wecan.
But I thinkoverall, it creates energy rather thandissipates.
And I think that older people think that if I'm going to dothat, I'm going to be moretired, do you know what Imean?
Yeah. Youknow, it'snot.
It's theopposite. I think it's a great point because you'reright.
If you have never made it part of your routine to just getout, take awalk, a couple ofmiles, you do think it takes a lot of energy and it's going to drainyou.
But you'reright. It's the exactopposite.
No, because you'reendorphins.
You're building on yourendorphins.
When you come home from awalk, you don't want to put your feet up and take anap.
That'strue. You want to dosomething.
Youknow, I love this wisdom because I've known you now for 30years.
And youknow, I've always thought about you as somebody who is the most energetic person in theworld.
And you have always gone out for fourmiles, not less walk every day since I've ever met you rainshine.
You'll put on a little snow suit with little spiky things on your shoes and go marching out into the Vermontwinter.
And I'd always heard people kind of refer toyou, almost like a little energizerbunny.
And I think a lot of times people havegiven, like they've given credit to the fact that you are a petiteperson.
But I think it's because you've prioritized making this getoutside, get your body moving and go for a walk every day for decades as a source of yourenergy.
Well, I think also infairness, when you startanything, it becomes ahabit.
I don't care whether it's having one or two glasses of wine at night or whether it's getting up in the morning andrunning.
It becomes a habit and you miss it if you don't doit.
That'strue. And I love that there's a couple tipsalready, which is get an audiobook because it will help you want to get out thedoor.
You willdefinitely. And only listen to it when you're walking thatway.
It's thatmotivator. Youknow, people dosay,Judy, how do you staymotivated?
Do you think do you even need motivation at thispoint?
You mean motivation to exercise ormotivation?
Yeah, motivation toexercise.
Yeah, Ido. Imean, I think that probably I'll fall apart if Iknow.
So it's sort of a negativeconsequence.
I don't want to be tired and lowenergy.
So I better get my rear end out there andmarch.
So I have energy fortoday.
A lot oflisteners,Judy, arecurious.
Yes. What do youeat? Can you walk us through what do you have forbreakfast?
Then what do you have forlunch?
And then what do you have fordinner?
And just to put it inperspective, if you didn'tknow, what areyou?
Four,eleven? How old areyou?
Four,eleven?Okay. So she's a very petiteperson.
And I want you to just put that incontext.
So what do you typically have forbreakfast?
Well, I hate to say this since you've already told everybody that you shouldn't have your cup of coffee for 90minutes.
Itdoes. Ido. I get up in the morning and turn on my sauna and I get back in bed and I have a cup ofcoffee.
Wonderful. I'm really not a breakfasteater.
Okay. So I'm not reallyhungry.
Imean, after I've had my vitaminC, then I willexercise.
When I comeback, then I'll have asmoothie.
Okay. And everybody's going to want to know what is in JudyRobinson.
Okay. I put inice,metrics, a whole package ofmetrics.
So meaning the proteinbrand, themetrics.
Yes. Is there a flavor youlike?
Vanilla.Okay. Vanillametrics.
I love that you're taking a body builder protein mix and pouring it in as an 86 soon to be87.
I didn't know itwas. Is that what itis?
I thinkso. I've been taking metrics foryears.
Okay. So you have a proteinsmoothie.
What do you put inthere?
Kale.Kale. And if I cansprouts.
Okay. I lovesprouts. And I can get them fresh when I'm inFlorida, which isgreat.
And then blueberries andstrawberries.
Yum. And coconutwater.
Okay. Then you blend that suckerup.
Allright.Great. So then what do you have forlunch?
Igraze.Okay. Wait aminute.
This is not thathealthy.
Okay. What do you mean yougraze?
I, youknow, if I had some chickensalad, I'd take itout.
So are you like a stand-up in front of the fridge with a fork and it'ssame.
I feel like thattoo. I am not asit-down.
Havelunch.Okay.Yeah.
LikeJohn.Okay. John would be herboyfriend,everybody.
Okay. Alwaysbreakfast,lunch, anddinner.
Yes. I am not likethat. And he puts an African on hislap.
Oh, thatis, John is a veryproper,well-mannered,well-read, wonderful humanbeing.
But I can seethat. Threesquares, no matterwhat.
What's three squaresmean?
You've never heard thatexpression.
No. Three squaremeals.
Oh, three squaremeals.
Okay. That's notme.Well, that's why you guys are such a great couple because Judy standing there in her jogging shorts and herhokas, shoveling chicken salad in her mouth while John has a napkin on hislap, had a collared shirt and he's sitting there eating sandwich off a piece of chinaplate.
Yes.Oh, I have one other thing toadd.
Tellme. With mysmoothies, I always have at least four gingersnaps.
Who? Gingersnaps. Like whocan?
This is not a healthapp.
Everybody.Nabisco, gingersnaps.
What? My brother is the sameway.
Every morning he has a metric smoothie and we are addicted to gingersnaps.
I don't know where itstarted.
Obviously in ouryouth.
Whatfor?Well, sometimesmore.
Oh mygod, you're sofun.
See, this is why you enjoy yourlife.
Well,yeah. Imean,no, whynot.
That'strue. That'strue.
Judy, I freaking loveyou.
And we got to take a shortbreak.
But when we comeback, we're going to keep talking about how to enjoylife.
Even if you haven't reached the age of86.
And we're also going to talk about how you stay connected to yourfriends.
And whyexactly? Got a lot of questions about thisone.
You decided to try skydiving and bungee jumping at the age of80.
Now, I can't wait for you to hear Judy tell you thestory.
But I also know you're thinking about somebody in your life that you hope Judy's going to inspire maybe to get active or take thatwalk.
So make sure you share this withthem.
And don't you dare go anywhere because that pint-sized powerhousemotivation, Judy Robbins is just getting woundup.
Andboy, when she getsgoing, there's no stop inher.
Stay withus. The Mel Robbins podcast is proudly sponsored by AmikaInsurance, our exclusive insurancepartner.
Amika understands how important it is to protect the things that matter most toyou.
So they'll put in the time to make sure you're taken care of whether it's talking through all the details of your policy or following up after aclaim.
Yourauto,home, and life insurance are more than justpolicies.
They're protection for the life you'vebuilt.
As Amikasays, empathy is our bestpolicy.
Go to Amika.com and get a quotetoday.
Have you ever heard about the your garage feature oncars.com?
Here's how itworks. You add your car to your garage to track its market value and cash in when the time is right tosell.
Track both your car'shistorical, realtime, and projectedvalue.
And then when it's time tosell, easily secure an instant offer from a local dealership or sell it yourself oncars.com.
Start tracking your car's value with your garage oncars.com.
Summer time ishere. Are you going to lounge at thebeach?
You're going to sit by the pool or you're going to take long hikes and walksoutside?
I cannot wait for the fun and the sun and I know you can't waitto.
But you know who's dreading the hot air and the saltwater?
Yourhair. Did you know thatsun,salt, and SPF all impact your hairhealth?
Ididn't. That's why I loveNutriful.
Nutriful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement with over one million people seeingthicker,stronger, faster growing hair with lessshedding.
So whether you're just trying to protect your hair from the summer heat or you feel it thinning due to stress or hormones and you want to do something about it or you've always just wanted thicker hairlocks.
TryNutriful. Get results you can run your fingersthrough.
For a limitedtime, Nutriful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutriful.com and enter the promo codemail.
Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend Nutriful for healthierhair.
That's Nutriful.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo codemail.
That's Nutriful.com promo codemail.
Welcomeback. It's your buddy Mel Robbins and you and I are here today with my 86-year-old mother andlaw, JudyRobbins.
And we are talking about exercising and eating andJudy, I have tosay, you have always enjoyedyourself.
And as you're listening toher, can't you really pick up on that like she's giggling through this whole thing and laughing at herself and havingfun?
And I think it's a really important thing in life that we oftenoverlook.
Because we get into thesezones, I think especially whenyou're, youknow, your grandkids age and then I think about myself and I'm in my 50s and soires and her mid20s.
We're always like onto the next exercise and doing the fast and doing this thing and you've always just enjoyedyourself.
I think that's a really important thing like since I've known you at least in terms of you're never on some weird-ass diet or like restricting yourself in anyway.
At least it doesn't seem likeit.
Well, when Itry, youknow, I get these guilt things because you guys all do teethrestrictions.
Christopherdoes, youknow, 75hard.
And Isaid,Christopher, maybe I should stopdrinking.
And then Christophersays,well, at86, I wouldn't stopdrinking.
Okay, that's why Iwon't.
I've already chilled the wine fortonight,dude.
What do you have fordinner?
I usually have chicken orfish.
Okay. I'm not much of a meateater.
Howcome? Give yougas.No, I just more and more when I wasn't eatingmeat, I started to think about theanimals, Iguess.
And if I go to your house for dinner and you servemeat, I will eatit.
Right. But I won't order it at a restaurant and I prefer not to cookit.
Yeah. Every now and then Iwill.
What aboutdessert? What's your feelings ondessert?
Well, I likecookies.Yes.
So I'll have acookie. You've establishedthat.
A different kind ofcookie,maybe.
But most of the time I don't eat muchdessert.
Gotcha. And you also don't eat a ton offood.
So, you know what Imean?
But you eat healthy like you in all fairness when you get to beolder.
Yes. You're just not thathungry.
Oh, is that something thathappens?
Yes.Really? And I'm sure that the people that are listening to this have parents and they'll notice that they'rejust, they're not eating what like they usedto.
And it isn't because they're worried about their weight oranything.
It's just you don't havethat.
Imean, when John and I go out todinner, we'll often split a main course rather than each have one because we realize that we don't finishit.
Yeah. So other than eating four ginger snaps with yoursmoothie, do you have other healthsecrets?
So we've covered that walking every single day is an absolutemust.
So is a yoga class or Pilates class a couple times aweek?
What aboutwater? How much water do youdrink?
Notenough.What? Judy is the anti-healthexpert.
You want to live a long life drink alot?
Don't drink a lot ofwater.
Start withcoffee. Skipbreakfast.
Go for awalk. Have some gingersnaps.
Oh, youknow, the one thing I dodo, I do havekombucha.
Yes. Apple cider vinegar and a freshorange.
Gotcha. So I think tomyself, youknow, that'sliquid.
Yeah. It's also sort of like nature'sdrain.
Oh. So when youhave, youknow, what is commonly referred to as farmer'sswitch, which my grandmother alsodrank.
Grandma Ileane also started every single day on the farm with warmwater, lemonjuice, apple cidervinegar, and a little bit ofhoney.
And I honest toGod,man, she wentout, she went out kicking and screaming like close to 100 yearsold, tough asnails.
Maybe the secret is in that apple cidervinegar.
They say it cureseverything, including toefungus.
Do you have toefungus? Like should we be worried aboutthis?
Oh,awesome. So what would you say to someone who's listening or who has forwarded this to their loved one who's getting a littleolder?
So they're listening at the recommendation maybe of their daughter or their son or somebody who cares aboutthem.
They haven't been as active as youhave.
They feelinspired. How would you recommend that they start if they don't know where or what to start with to get activeagain, even though they're a littleolder?
Well, I think it depends on if they're a socialperson.
Okay. If they like to be withpeople, they can always find a gymclass.
Oh. And Iwould, youknow, if you like to be with people and they've never doneanything, find a gym class and go toit.
Maybe with otherpeople, see what they'redoing, whether it's yoga or whether it's yoga bar orsomething.
Yeah. And if you're more sedentary or happy withyourself, then just go out and take a walk on a beautifulday.
If it'sraining, thendon't.
Youknow, you're one of the most social people Iknow.
And you seem to have fun wherever yougo.
How do you keep such an active sociallife?
Well, it's important that you reach out because you can't sit home and wait for people to callyou.
And I really learned that fromyou.
After Ken died and I went to Florida and I had nothing on mycalendar.
You said tome,well, before you go toFlorida, make sure you call somebody so you have something on yourcalendar.
And that that was such goodadvice,Mel.
And so I stay active if somebody doesn't call me or I want to have a dinner party and nothing's goingon, then I create a dinnerparty.
And, youknow, more and more as you read aboutlongevity, it used to be the Mediterranean dietexercise.
Butnow, the more Iread, social is becomingfirst.
Then comes the diet and theexercise.
Because I think being lonely or being by yourself causesdepression.
And italso, you start to doubtyourself.
Yeah. But you're aroundpeople.
You get buildup. People tell you you look attractive or they want to be withyou.
And so you feel good aboutyourself.
Youknow, it'sinteresting.
You have always made aneffort.
How long have you been awidow?
18, 19years. 19years. Thisyear.
Ken's been gone 19years.
Is thatright?206, ohsix.
Oh,okay.Close. Imean, that'sincredible.
Iknow. And I remember that you always made an effort and always kept up and always reached out and always were planningthings.
And, youknow, that advice that I gave you about putting something in the calendar was just this thing that I've alwaysfelt, which is when I look at a blankcalendar, I feel like aloser.
I start tospiral, as yousaid.
I start topanic.Like, I don't have anything todo.
And then I start to feel like everybody's got plans withme.
And so making an effort to have something in the calendar that you can look forwardto, even if it's two weeks fromnow.
Exactly. Like helps you from thatspiral.
But you recently moved to a community where there's a lot of programming and it's more of a retirementcommunity.
What has been the difference that you've seen in putting yourself in a community where the whole point of it is to be with people that are retired and that are older and to be in a community where there's stuff goingon.
Well, first ofall, youknow, as my grandchildren call me athapomo.
Yes. You're athapomo. And I am athapomo.
And when my friends started moving to thiscommunity, Imean, after a dinner party with one of my friends and she said she wasgoing, I woke up the nextmorning, Isaid, I'mcoming.
Why did a lot of people look at those retirementcommunities?
They'relike,oh, I don't want toknow.
I don't want to put you in one ofthose.
And I watched my grandmother when my grandfather died move intoone.
And all of asudden, it was like like retirementcamp.
I couldn't believe how busy she was and happy shewas.
And so what have you noticed as somebody who was actually already crazybusy?
First ofall, there's so much to choose from to dophysically.
Imean, they have pickleball ongrass.
Now, is thatbrilliant?
Why do more people have pickleball ongrass?
Butanyway, it's also a great feeling of security because I have a lot of friends that live around me and I've met people when I moved in the secondday.
I had orchids that were deliveredfrom, youknow, across thestreet, she walked across thestreet.
Hi, my name isMary. If I didn't come out of my house for four or fivehours, somebody would come and check onme.
Wow. That's how itfeels.
Livinghere, now in yourhouse.
Yeah. On25, eightyears.
Where are you used tolive?
Where I used tolive. Imean, I could have been here fordays.
And where are you used to live inFlorida, even though I lived in acommunity?
Yeah. Everybody did their ownbusiness, youknow, I could have been flat out for a couple of days and no one would have known thedifference.
Right. It's very different when you're in a community like I'm innow.
I love you somuch,Judy.
And you're just dropping thewisdom.
I knew youwould. I'm so glad you'rehere.
And I'm not even halfway through the stack of questions that people sendin.
So we're going to take a shortbreaks.
We can hear a word from oursponsors, but please stay withus.
There is so much more that we're going tocover.
And I know you're going to loveit.
So we'll be waiting for you after a shortbreak.
Stay withus. You know it's on my bucket list learning anotherlanguage.
And if I'm beinghonest, which I'm always honest withyou, I haven't done it because it'sintimidating.
I'mdyslexic. I haveADHD.
I have a story that I can't learn alanguage.
But after booking my tickets toParis, I'm taking my daughters there to celebrate my55th.
I've juststarted. Andseriously, it's actually a lot of fun and easier than Ithought.
Thanks to one of oursponsors, RosettaStone.
Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learningprogram.
It's available ondesktop.
It can be used as an app or on your phone ortablet.
Their lessons are as short as 30minutes.
And they're so fun andinteractive.
It feels like a game on yourphone.
It's never been easier to learn alanguage.
You've always wanted tolearn.
Don't put off learning thatlanguage.
There's no better time than right now to getstarted.
For a limitedtime, the Melro and Spodcast listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for50%off.
What a greatgift. Rosetta Stone.com slashMel.
That's50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of yourlife.
Redeem your50% off at Rosetta Stone.com slash Meltoday.
I know a lot of you listen because you're looking for the courage and inspiration to grow yourbusiness.
And one of the hardest things about marketing a business or yourself is that it requires you to put yourself outthere.
So I want you to know about LinkedInads.
I love LinkedIn because it's an extremely effective way to build your businessnetwork.
It also helps your market to the rightpeople.
So instead of spending money on other social media platforms where you run ads and then cross your fingers and hope for thebest, LinkedIn ads is where you need to be because they are highlytargeted.
And I think that's super important because when it comes to beingsuccessful, you got to bestrategic, intentional and targeted about what youdo.
And LinkedIn ads will help you build the right relationships and they respect your time and business and they're going to help you achieve the results you're committedto.
So stop wasting your time and get serious about your business with LinkedInads.
Make B2B marketing everything it can be and get a hundred dollar credit on your nextcampaign.
Go to LinkedIn.com slash Mel to claim yourcredit.
That's LinkedIn.com slashMel.
Terms and conditionsapply.
Welcomeback. It's your friend Mel Robbins and you and I are here today with JudyRobbins, my 86 year oldmother-in-law.
She's giving us so much amazingwomen, women wisdom about living a long and healthy and energizedlife.
SoJudy, let's talk aboutfriendship.
What advice do you have for keeping friendships sostrong?
Reaching out tothem. And I do think that the older youget, the more you realize the people you really want to bewith.
So you don't feel compelled if youknow, Mary invites you for dinner and Mary's okay but she's not one of yourfavorites.
Right. I used to sayokay, sure I'llcome.
Now Idon't. Howcome? Because I don't want to feel that I have to have Mary back to myhouse.
Oh. Imean, I have some wonderful friends and those are the people I want to spend the most timewith.
Then I have a lot offriends.
So are you saying that the older that youget, if you can not feel your calendar with the obligatorythings, but take that same time and be intentional about picking up the phone and callingpeople, whether it's family or it's people that youreally, really love hanging outwith, that's going to keep themstrong.
Imean, I used to have dinner parties all the time foreight, tenpeople.
Now six is like the perfectnumber.
Why is six people over the perfectnumber?
Because six really talk to each other alltogether.
Youknow, you don't have two people talking over here and two overhere.
So by the end of theevening, you really feel so satisfied because you've really been with thesepeople.
It'strue. It'strue. So you've had a lot of adventure in yourlife.
And I think there's a lot of questions that people have aboutit.
Can you talk about what you did after your husband candied?
Because I think this is advice that is relevant not only when you lose somebody that youlove, but also if you go through a divorce or you have some major change that happens in your life that makes you start to wonder who you are or what your next chapter is going tobe.
So why don't you tell everybody what you did and how it changed your life after candied?
Well, the first thing I did was I rented an apartment for three months in NewYork.
Oh myGod. It was so lonely because you realize that when you're in New York City and everybody's going one place or another and you have no place togo.
So I signed up for our classes at the Art StudentsLeague.
So I had a reason to go someplace and come home or go to themovies.
And then I took myself on a bike trip to NewZealand.
Youknow, one way that you've stayedactive,Jude, is you plan these trips like bike trips with guides and with friends like through your 70s and80s.
You just have to make yourself be around otherpeople.
You can't stay home and feel sorry for yourself because nobody else is feeling sorry foryou.
Can you tell us a little bit about why especially after candied, you started spending your winters in Cambodia and volunteeringthere?
Well, I went there on a biketrip.
Yep, but this is where it getsinteresting.
You decide that the next year you're going to go back to Cambodia and you created an experience on your own where you reached out to an elementary school and you arranged to become a tutor to teach English to elementary schoolstudents.
Yes. And I justsaid, youknow, I'm going to come back and teach English even though I wasn't ateacher.
I knew how totalk. And the other thing that I learned and asked was how to make a fool out ofyourself.
If you can make a fool out ofyourself, you can teach English even though you've never been ateacher.
And then you reached out to thisNGO, Cambodia and living arts to say you'd like to getinvolved.
And you get on a plane and you fly to Cambodia and you're in your late 70s and you've never done anything like this before and you're going to livethere.
What was it like to land in a foreign country knowing you were going to livethere?
You were because everybody that knew you werelike, you'recrazy.
What if somethinghappens?
What if you have a heartattack?
You're going to be halfway across theworld.
You're going to do this on yourown.
How is this going towork?
Imean, were you everscared?
Like, did you land andgo, what the hell am Idoing?
I don't think I wasscared.
I think I wasexcited. I loveadventure.
I love newthings. And Imean, what else was I going todo?
Stay athome, hangaround.
Imean, do the samething.
This was something different thannew.
And it wasn't realhardship.
Imean, I was staying in ahotel.
It's not like I was camping out in thestreet.
That'strue.Yeah. But I just want to say that it took some balls to do something likethat.
It takes a lot to get on a plane and fly halfway around the world and justgo, I'm going to go live in Cambodia for three months and I'm going to create my own volunteerprogram.
And I'm going to just do that and not really knowanybody.
And I'm going to figure itout.
And the next thing youknow, you have a whole communitythere.
Well, youknow, it's so interesting that you ask this question becauseactually, I put this down in a journal the otherday.
I think I had a very difficultchildhood.
And it gave me courage that I would not have had if my childhood would be allroses.
So I only went two years to college and there wasn't any money to send me beyondthat.
And I even when I was writing myjournal, I questioned how I didit.
I just moved into Chicago at age19.
And got a job at American Airlines answeringphones.
And then after I was there for awhile, I went upstairs and interviewed to the number one advertised an agency at the time and got a job as areceptionist.
And then when I wasthere, I decided I go to secretaryschool.
And then after a yearthere, I decided to move to SanFrancisco.
So, youknow, when I was in highschool, they had only boy cheerleaders for a hundredyears.
I decided we should havegirls.
I somehow got the petition going andcreated, and we had girlscheerleaders.
And from thenon, new terror high school has had girlscheerleaders.
So I've always been pushing myself into something that's a littlescary.
I lovethat. I think we all need a little ofthat.
College. Just a littlepush.
Yeah, a littleJ.J. Go geta.
Yeah. What's your message to someone who's really lonely andlost, especially after they've suddenly lost somebody that theylove?
Well, they should first ofall, they should reach out to their closest friends if theycan, if you canvolunteer.
I think volunteering is probably one of the more gratifying things that you cando.
You won't be alone and you are going to be with people that probably aren't as well off asyou.
So you come awaysaying,hmm, youknow, things aren't sobad.
Look at who I just was with inhospice.
She's not even going to be around in anotheryear.
So I thinkvolunteering, even if it's little kids or if it's hospice or anything that you can do to take yourself out ofyourself.
Incredible. You went skydiving for the first time at the age of80.
How did thathappen? I don'tknow.
I can'tremember. One of the boys was aChristopher.
SoFomo, you're basically saying one of your sons was going toskydiving.
You'relike, I'min.Oh, Iknow.
It's because when I was in New Zealand on that biketrip, Heath had bungeejumped.
Uh-huh. And so I decided that the piece could have bungeejump.
I'm afraid you'reinsane.
Okay. So I don'tknow. I like bungeejumping.
Oh, I lovedit. Youdid?Oh, that was sogreat.
Well, it's so great aboutit.
Well, it's kind of scary when you really decide togo.
Youknow, and then they start counting and you takeoff.
But I like things that kind of scareme.
I don't like things that make medizzy.
Okay. But I kind of like scarythings.
You got your first tattoo at85.
Can you tell us the story and what did youget?
Yeah, that's a nicestory.
So myreally, really close friend in Florida was dying lastMarch.
And so I went and saw her because Iwas, I knew I wasn't going to see her again because I wasleaving.
And I said toDiane, Isaid,Diana, do you believe in life afterdeath?
Shesaid,oh,yeah. Isaid,really?
What? When you believein, shesaid,oh, I'm going to be astar.
And I thought that is the most brilliant thing I've everheard.
Imean, I'm not particularlyreligious.
We all wonder what's going tohappen.
And I thought it makes so much sense that we're all going to bestars.
That's why there's billions ofstars.
And then ofcourse, I took it a stepfurther.
Ithought,well, if I'm astar, I can go and visit myhusband.
I can see myparents. I can movearound,right?
Shootingstar. So I said toSawyer, Isaid,Sawyer,yeah, I said toSawyer, who's mydaughter, yourdaughter.
Isaid, youknow, I'm not one intotattoos, but I think I'm going to get a little tattoo with astar.
And Sawyersaid,well, then I'm going to getone.
And then we werelike,well, then we're going to getone.
And then Sawyer's then Kendall wantedone.
And next thing your whole familysaid,well, we're all going to getone.
Yeah. So I gotone. And I have a little one onmy, it's verysmall.
Imean, you really have to look forit, but it'sthere.
And it's basically a picture of aplanet.
And it has threestars. And it has one is myhusband.
Diana's at thetop. And the last one isJohn, who I'm withnow, who will be the laststar.
Oh, that'sbeautiful. You did a psychedelic journey in a therapeutic setting with me and myhusband, or yourson,Chris, my husband and Sawyer andKendall, at the age of85, what did you learn from that MDMA guidedjourney?
Ilearned, first ofall, that my granddaughters loved me so much that thatwas, that was prettyamazing.
Ithink, Imean, they say it's a lovedrug, which I didn't evenrealize.
Butwow, Imean, I really feltit.
It was probably the most the word reinforcing of who I was andthat, youknow, I'm notalone.
And then I'm very muchloved.
What are some of your top life lessons that you've learned in 86years?
Well, I think I've learned a lot more as I gotolder, because Iwas, I've always beenenergetic, but I think I've always kind of wanted to be the center ofattention.
And now at myage, and I think I've probably started this a couple of yearsago, I'm much morepatient, much more interested in listening to what somebody else has tosay.
Whereasbefore, I would barely let you finish whatever your subject was before I had somebody to tell you aboutme.
So tell me what was the questionagain?
Sure. Some of the life lessons you've learned in yourage, sixyears.
Yeah. I think listening is probably one of the most incredible things that if you can learn to listen to other people and listen toyourself, that you'll becontent.
And now that you're 86 yearsold, what have you stopped caringabout?
Well, I still care about what I looklike.
Imean, I don't go to the grocery store without makeupon.
Really?No. Imean, I don't put eye liner on or anything likethat, but I doput, I go for a walk in the stuff that I put on myface, youknow, hassunblock, and it has color init.
Okay. What do you put on yourface?
Everyone's going to want toknow.
Oh, it's calledCC. I have noidea.
CC. It's their letterCC.
You can get it atALTA.Okay.
And it has 50 init.Okay.
And you just put it on and it has color init.
You can get all differentcolors.
Yeah. And rightaway, you don't looklike,okay, you knowwhat?
Okay.So, you haven't stopped caring what you looklike.
No, Ihaven't. Imean, it's a good thing because you take care ofyourself.
Ido. But what else haveyou, what have you stopped caring about now that you're 86 that maybe you really cared about when you'reyoung?
I really don't care what people think aboutme.
And I think that for years and years and years andyears, it was very important what people thought aboutme.
And I probably went overboard to get people to have good thoughts about me or like me when I waslittle.
I was an incredibleliar.
And I think I lied because I had these wonderfultails.
And I think that if I toldthem, they would like mebetter.
And now I've created who Iam.
And, youknow, the package is done and wrappedup.
Do you remember like a moment or some because I know nobody wants to worry about what other people think aboutthem.
And yet it's a hard thing to teach yourself to really care more about what you think of yourself than what other people think ofyou.
Is there any advice that you have about how somebody who is in that stage of people pleasing or lying or feeling really insecure about who theyare?
How they could really learn how to care more about how they feel aboutthemselves?
They could listen to some of yourpodcasts.
I'mserious. It wouldhelp.
I'mserious. Or some of yourbooks.
Imean, read some of these books about yourself or how to make yourself a betterperson.
Yeah. That'strue. Because when you start to prioritize your health and you start to give back to other people and you start to really spend time doing some of the things that you've always thought aboutdoing, whether it's taking a painting class or right and taking up a journaling practice or seeing yourself getting out and walking everyday, you do become proud ofyourself.
And when you're so busy trying to impress otherpeople, I think deepdown, you're not really proud ofyourself.
And so that's one way that you can stop caring so much about other people is really do invest the time in bettering yourself and your health and learning more and giving back and you'll start to notice your proud ofyourself.
Forsure. Youknow, what do you wish you knew when you were younger that you knownow?
Oh, I certainly wish that I had concentrated about learning inschool.
I never cared aboutlearning.
I just cared about having a goodtime.
All through grammarschool, highschool, right throughcollege.
And now I think that's why I read so much because I never did when I wasyoung.
And it's such wasted time thatI, Imean, I went to such a good high school and all I did was have a goodtime.
What is your biggest regret now that you're86?
That's probably it is not learning all the things thatI, Imean, I'm very streetsmart.
Imean, I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
I'm not a goodperson. I'm not a goodperson.
They feel like the best days of their life are behindthem.
What would you say tothem?
I would say that when you wake up in themorning, you say toyourself, I am so grateful that my eyes opened and that I can swallow and I can get out ofbed, brush myteeth, and start aday.
How lucky amI? I don't care whether you have to reach for a cane or a walker oranything.
The fact that you have the privilege to still bealive.
I amvery, very grateful forthat.
How about somebody who feels like they're really behind inlife?
How about somebody who feels like they're really behind inlife?
Youknow, you've got three sons and they've been in various stages in their careers and you've got all thesegrandkids.
So you've seen not only in your ownlife, but you've seen in the lives of family members and people that you careabout, that people can start to feellike, youknow, I'm not as successful as I should be or I'm not my marriage is or whatever it maybe.
I'm not where I shouldbe.
What's your advice when you see somebody who feels behind inlife?
I'm not going to start probably looking at books about how to better yourselfemotionally, youknow, notnecessarily, you don't have to learn another language or anything likethat.
But there's so much out there that you can learn by just reading about little things that you can tweak aboutyourself.
So there are going to be so many listeners around theworld,Judy, that not only fall in love withyou, but are now like thinking about the grandparents or theparents,right?
And I know they are going to forward this episode as a little nudgelike, come onnow, you could have moreenergy.
I really want you to feel moreconnected.
Youknow, I'm worried about you being solonely.
Maybe you shouldvolunteer.
They're going to be kind of wanting to proud them along a littlebit.
What advice would you have for someone who wants to really inspire their loved ones to find more energy and meaning in theirlife, even into their80s, 90s and100.
Well, I think if they could encourage their parents or theirgrandparents, they could say somethinglike, youknow, why don't we take a walktogether?
Rather thanall, youknow, young people tend to want to tell their parents or their grandparents to dothis, dothat, dothat.
But how aboutsaying, you knowwhat, let's do thistogether.
Youknow, if you don't live closeby, get on a plane or drivethere.
You want to take a walk around theblock.
You want to take awalk. Don't always make it up to them to have to do it all bythemselves.
I think that'samazing.
So one of my bestfriends,Jody, move from Santa Barbara back home toMichigan.
Yeah. Andshe, part of the impetus was just kind of no feelinglike, I don't know how much time I'm going to have withthem.
Andgoing, I want to be there and go on the walk withthem.
And I wantto, and I love thatthing.
Like don't give them theadvice.
Sign up for the class withthem.
And she and herdad, she was just explaining this the othernight.
She waslike, what are you doing thisweek?
Shesaid,well, I found a opportunity to judge a bass fishingcompetition.
So I signed my dad and Iup.
And we're going to go and I have no idea how to judge a bass fishingcompetition.
But he's soexcited. And Ithought, what a beautiful thing that you weren't just prodding him to do something that you found something and that you are doing it withthem.
So many people write in and say they wish their life was morepurposeful.
How have you found a sense of purpose in your life now that you're86.
Just stayingconnected.
Youknow,or, youknow, I think that so many peoplethink, youknow, I should have ahobby.
I think that's a fullof, you don't have to have ahobby.
You just have to have a reason why you want to getup.
And that reason is that you're lucky that youcan.
Thatyou, youknow, you can dosomething.
Imean, I just called my best friend from highschool, who I haven't spoken toin, Igot, I don't knowwhen.
Just to see if she's alive because she's the same age as Iam.
Wasshe?Yes, but not in greatmind.
I don'tthink. In terms of Alzheimer's ordementia.
I don'tknow. I thinkso.
Imean, she usually would ask me about myself or my kids and it was a littleflat.
A littlelike. I just assume get off thephone.
Gotcha. But I'm glad I calledher.
And then after that lastweek, I just called anotherfriend.
And I did connect with her so that I could findout, youknow, high schoolwas, youknow, we graduated in1955.
So you make an effort like youliterally, it sounds like there's twothings.
First ofall, you practice this profound sense of gratitude that you even wokeup.
And the second thing is you make it a point to reach out to people everyday.
That thatconnection, whether it is reciprocated ornot, is something that gives your lifemeaning.
Yes. And I think what's really important is don't expect to have a feedback like we have this chain called the Robbinsgang.
And I sendout, youknow, it's afamily.
It's a multi generational family group chat that is everybody's on the Judycreated.
And so I'll sendout, youknow, apicture, which I just did lastweek.
Literally two people will heartit.
Yeah, maybe maybe no one there's a thing of us onthere.
I getnothing. Andso, youknow, maybe I'll send it outagain.
And I still don't getanything.
Well, I don'tharbor. I don't thinklike, oh mygod, they don't love me or they'renot.
They'rebusy. But at least I'm making them aware that I'm stillaround.
I think that's a really important part because it is so easy to put somethingout, whether it's I always invite or I always call or I'm always the one putting something in the family group chat and nobody'sreciprocating.
It'svery, very easy to start to getresentful.
Sure. And to then pullback.
You don't dothat.Well, everybody'sbusy.
Iknow.Yeah. It's my way of saying don't forget aboutme.
I'mstill. It isamazing.
It's not so easy todo. If the person listening toyou.
Takes just one action based on everything that you spoke abouttoday.
What do you think the most important thing to dois?
Is it the ginger snaps with thesmoothie?
The most important thing is that they only take because everybody's busy and they're going to listen and really laugh with you and forward this to somebody that they love to inspire them to start walking or connecting or feeling more grateful or realizing that the best days aren't behind you because the days are what you make ofthem.
And the people that you care about are still there and there are people that you know that are stillthere.
And you can reachout. And so there's a lot that you've given people to think about whether it's jumping out of airplanes or getting a tattoo or you're just philosophy of staying active and why even reading and walking every day gives more energy to yourlife.
And I love to have the person listening know what you think the singular most important thing is like they're not going to remembereverything.
So what's the most important thing in your mind if they were only to follow one piece of your advice that would make the biggest difference to reach out to your friends to stayconnected.
So you don't feelalone.
That would be the most important because loneliness will just bring you down and that bringssickness.
Taking meds that you probably don't even need one thing leads toanother.
If you stay connected if you have a problem pick up the phone and tell it be honest with yourfriend.
If youcry,cry, say you know I'mlonely.
Can I come over and seeyou.
So you know we don't have a lot of time in thisworld.
So I think you reach for the golden ring when you can still seeit.
That'sbeautiful. What are your parting words stay in love stay inlove.
What does thatmean? Just love your being love yourself love your friends love yourlife.
You just never know when it's going to end and believe me when you get to be my age you think a lot more about the fact that you have a lot of friends who aren't hereanymore.
Now what do you're the most popular expert we have on the Mel Robbinspodcast.
Thank youMel. No thankyou.
I love you you are such a gift to all of us but to me in particular I just love you somuch.
I love you and I love yourpodcast.
Thankyou. And for you being here with us I also just want to say I love you too and I believe in you and I bet Judy doestoo.
Ido. And I believe in your ability to create a betterlife.
Now you listen to this 86 year old and go do it get your rear end out for a walk and then call yourfriends.
You can thank uslater. I don't feel that same level of guilt when we're here at home only because we buy from a local farmer down theroad.
And so I feel still ananimal.
Okay. So you don't feel bad for the chickensJudy.
Now you're like you don't tripping me on thecows.
Wow.Okay. So dad telling us dinner isready.
He'sdownstairs. I hope it'sgood.
I sort of made itup. It smells delicious roasted chicken celery onions wine butter honeyrosemary.
What what couldn't be what couldn't be what are your parting words stay in love stay in love with theworld.
Oh,oh,yeah.Wow.John.
Oh, and one morething. Andno, this is not ablooper.
This is the legallanguage.
You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read toyou.
This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainmentpurposes.
I'm just yourfriend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of aphysician, professionalcoach, psychotherapist or other qualifiedprofessional.
Gotit.Good. I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Stitcher. Youknow, over theweekend, I was sitting on the screen in porch writing my next book at a folding cartable.
And I turned to my husbandChris.
And I waslike,dude, we've got to order a table for out here on theporch.
But you want to know what's frustrating when you finally realize you need a piece of furniture like rightnow, you realize most places take 12 to 14 weeks to get it toyou.
I don't have that kind oftime.
And either do you enter our new sponsor all modern all modern brings you the best modern furniture and they deliver it for free indays, not weeks from outdoor furniture to beds to lighting torugs, whatever furniture youneed, you can get it in days delivered forfree.
And every piece is hand-vetted for quality and designed for reallife.
Get yoursofa, ASAP from all modern and sit comfortably while building out the rest of yourspace.
That'smodern, madesimple.
I got to go because I got a new table I need toorder.
Shop online at allmodern.com and visit them in store in Linfield and DeaMastichusits or inAustin,Texas.
If you watch the Mel Robbins podcast onYouTube, you've probably noticed that I wear the same shirt99% of thetime.
It's a blackt-shirt, mygo-to, the female Steve Jobs just makes it easy to get dressed in the morning and now that I've found the perfectt-shirt, it's even easier to know what towear.
The perfect t-shirt does exist for you too and you can find it from our sponsorSchemes.
From cropped silhouettes to long sleeve layeringtees, there's a style foreveryone.
Their soft smoothing t-shirt is the most flattering t-shirt you'll everwear.
I mean the fabric is sobuttery, soft and smooth that you're going to wear it anywhere andeverywhere.
I wear my Schemes shirts while runningerrands, recording the podcastheck, I even dress it up for dinnerout.
And probably my favorite part about Schemes is that their shirts wear sowell.
They keep theirshape, size and softness no matter how many times you washit.
So what are you waitingfor?
Shop the Schemes t-shirt shop atskims.com.
Now available in sizes dextrex orsmall, through4x.
If you haven'tyet, be sure to let them know that we sentyou.
Have to replace your order select podcast in the survey and select the Mel Robbins podcast and the dropdown.
