Are we recording?
Oh, yes, we are.
Hello, Sunshine.
I'm Maria.
And my name is Rory.
And we are the hosts of the IELTS Speaking for Success podcast.
No, I said podcasts, but I meant to say podcast singular.
But usually our aim is to give you all the grammar and vocabulary that you need for a high score.
Band 9 score.
However, today it will be different.
We've got bloopers from this year's episodes.
How awesome is that?
Yes, we have a different episode today.
Something special because New Year is coming.
So we've just had Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.
Merry Christmas, yes.
But some of you might be listening to us before New Year, in which case, Happy New Year in advance.
And some of you might be listening to us after New Year, in which case, Happy New Year!
It's the first test of the first recording in 2021.
What are we going to do?
How does it sound?
Who knows?
Vanya knows the answer.
Tell me if the test is good.
I don't even... What do Americans even sound like?
I haven't heard an American accent.
A car.
Drive my car.
A car.
I drive my car across America.
It's not really a car.
It's a tank.
It's a tank minus the gun, you know.
When people drive these things, they have trouble telling the difference between a packet of crisps and your children.
Do you think argument is important?
Well, provided it's constructive, yes.
I don't see the point on having.
I don't see the point in having mindless Maria.
Stop messing around.
I can't see the script.
Maria!
Stop it!
Thank you.
When you're highlighting things in the script, there's just this massive sign that appears across it saying Maria Moloshenko is highlighting this part of the script and I'm just sitting here like I can't read what I'm supposed to be saying.
How unbelievably rude.
Behold, I testeth the mic early.
I doth test the mic early in order to achieve optimum testing.
So tell me if this is working just fine.
This research builds on previous work by Mr Yellow, who looked into whiskey consumption with conflicts.
Is there a graph for this?
What do crickets do in Russia?
They defend motherland, that's what they do.
Every animal in this country defends the Rodina.
What about fish?
What do fish do?
Also defend the Rodina.
Fish do nothing.
No, no, they do.
You hear them in the water.
If you put a shell to your ear in Russia, all you can hear is...
Oh, that's so sweet, Maria.
You're like a really annoying sister.
Do you do the same thing every evening?
Well, not exactly the same thing, except just before bed.
I'll always brush my teeth, get changed into my jammies and apply moisturiser, and then it's lights out.
Boring.
Listen, son.
When you get to my age, you will appreciate the value of moisturiser.
Boring.
Or you will be like typical Russian muzhik and you will age.
Do you feel better now, darling?
My neighbours have been making loud noises all morning.
What have they been doing?
Hammering a boat.
Banging.
Let's have a sexy party.
Everybody was at home watching stuff.
The N-word.
The N-word?
Oh, okay.
N-word.
Sailing close to the breeze, don't you think?
Do you often buy furniture?
No, but I really want to buy a computer chair to shit in.
No.
Ask the question again, please.
Oh, no.
We're going to Malatoa.
Romy wants to buy a computer chair to **** in.
Yes.
Can I be talking about Kardashians, for example?
The Kardashians.
I don't know if it's appropriate to talk about the Kardashians as a family.
They're sort of an amorphous, cancerous mass on the face of the planet.
The Kardashians.
We can't really use that part of the script because I've just said the word.
That's what they are.
I hate the Kardashians.
I hate them worse than Meghan Markle.
People who are famous for being famous as if Kanye West is some sort of achievement.
Sorry.
Behold my testing of the mic and despair.
Despair you mighty.
Let's get on with the episode now, shall we?
Get on is also a phrasal verb, and if you love phrasal verbs, then you should definitely check out our pod course while you're at it.
Ielts.
IELTS.com IELTS.com IELTS.com Why not check out our OnlyFans when you have the time.
It's our new website.
Which Giovanni is going to be creating this June 2021.
It's our sister site.
Right, hold on.
Let me try that one more time.
One more time, come on.
I memorized and learned the whole episode where Rory talks about whiskey and Scotland.
That's every episode.
That's in every episode.
Scotland freedom, band 9 score.
Quality.
Along the way.
Okay, I think that we should make, we should write one more sentence to make the overall statement.
I don't think we need to do anything.
How many words do we have, woman?
We have 169.
69. paranoia all the paranoia i am recording myself saying the word paranoia to test to test the mic such as like what can teachers do to make students obey the rules beat them slap them in the faces give them a good punch to the throat What's a popular activity for people in your country in the evenings?
No, sorry.
I'm allergic to bullshit.
And that's what I've just heard for two minutes.
I have problems from childhood with my parents.
With my bullshit.
With my bullshit, yes.
I have baggage.
Я помираю.
Спокойно, спокойно.
Oh, boy, this is so bad.
Oh, this is really bad.
This is really bad.
This is absolutely horrific.
Whose idea was this?
Why is the answer not me?
Thank you for sticking with us until the end of this episode, but also the end of this year.
Happy New Year when it comes, or Happy New Year after it's arrived, depending on when you're choosing to listen to us.
Happy New Year.
Let's stay together.
Happy.
Perhaps without horrible jokes.
Yes, let's never do this again, shall we?
Thank you so much.
We love you.
We hug you.
Hugs and kisses.
Bye.