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Hello there. It's Rosie.
Welcome to Radioheadspace and to Tuesday.
So if you've been listening this week, you know I wear a lot of hats.
In addition to being a mindfulness teacher here at Headspace, I'm an author, an independent podcast host and a yoga teacher.
The list goes on. As I sit here writing this episode in a themed week about progress, it got me thinking about all of the overachievers out there, myself included.
good. So this episode is for anyone who can relate to the pressure to do it all.
There's a major challenge that people who are highly motivated face, the constant drive to achieve and produce.
You can call it being an overachiever, a type -A personality, or having shark syndrome, which is probably my favorite description.
Apparently in order for sharks to breathe, they must constantly be in motion.
For many people who have this, let's call it a trait, we've all felt the eventual spontaneous combustion of it.
Finding stillness and stopping isn't quitting, it's a way for you to meet yourself where you are and learn what is working and what isn't.
I went to a meetup during one of my first forays into the world of mindfulness.
It was a group coaching circle that was created by one of my yogi friends in Venice Beach, California.
The topic was learning how to quiet my so -called inner critic.
You know, that voice that tells you all the things you're supposedly doing wrong?
I had recently quit my job and I was enjoying my time being unemployed.
Part of me wondered why I hadn't done it sooner.
On the other hand, it had only been a few weeks and I was already starting to feel the self -induced pressure of my mind telling me I needed to get to work.
We sat on Mexican blankets near the shore, seagulls flying above as the sound of waves softly glazed the sand.
Ocean air permeated our senses as we listened to the lead speaker.
Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, she said, a quote from the Buddha.
Then, she went on to say that our inner critic judges our actions and our feelings and we sometimes think we need to be tough on ourselves to get motivated, but rarely is that the case.
She continued talking about how the better care we take of ourselves, the easier it will be to devote our attention to what matters most. When we create space and begin to practice self -care, we encourage ourselves to achieve with kindness, with endearment, and without judgment.
I thought of this as I sat on this idyllic beach, judging myself on how and why I shouldn't be sitting at the beach listening to this lady talk about self compassion and kindness.
The irony wasn't lost on me.
But after the lecture, life soon took a turn and self compassion fell by the wayside.
Years later, when I began my career teaching yoga and meditation, I could hear my inner critic pushing me, telling me to stay busy, busy, busy.
I was traveling across the country, teaching people how important it was to take breaks and to pause and to be gentle with themselves all while getting little sleep, eating road food and ignoring the small inner voice inside me that was telling me to stop.
And one day while driving back to Los Angeles from Austin, Texas, I almost fell asleep and and I was awakened by a 16 -wheeler's horn.
Sometimes, if we don't give ourselves the space we need, the universe has a way of stopping the world for us.
That drive was a literal wake -up call to give myself permission to rest when I needed it and let go of the voice that told me to stay busy.
One of the best ways to recognize your inner critic is to identify any languaging that feels harsh, ask yourself how you feel, and then try to separate yourself from the actual criticism.
I'm a big fan of writing things down, especially if it's something that comes up often.
Once I identify what my inner critic likes to say, I reframe it and write it down as a you statement.
For example, if I'm saying something like, ugh, I always mess up.
Instead, I write it out as you always mess this up.
That way, I'm separating myself from the critic.
And this reminds me that I get to decide how I want to feel.
Do I really want to talk to myself that way?
Would I say this to a friend?
These questions help prompt me to be kinder to me, who's just doing her best. If you want to learn more about finding space, check out my friend Dora's conversation with Rahim Sterling called, Finding Space in the App.
That's it for now. If you want to share your thoughts with me about this episode be sure to find me on Instagram at rosyacosta.
Thank you for letting me share and thank you so much for listening.
I'll see you back here soon.
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