Oh you guys got into some stuff this year, huh?
I've got all of your questions you sent to me on Instagram on the screen right here and I am going to be answering all of your dilemmas and let me say they are juicier than ever before.
Some of these are crazy but not to worry because I am back to answer with all of my best advice.
In this episode of Girl Talk, I'm going to be covering all of your dilemmas, from dating and love to friends, self-love and confidence, goals and career, and so much more.
So grab yourself a beverage and some popcorn because it's about to get juicy.
If you guys didn't already know, we've done like several episodes of Girl Talk at this point.
There's been so many over the years.
So make sure you check out the playlist here where you can check out all of the other dilemmas, because I never answer the same problem twice.
So this video is going to be very different.
Before we get right into it, i want to give a big thank you to squarespace for sponsoring this episode.
If you don't know what squarespace is, it's basically the all-in-one website platform that helps you stand out and succeed online, regardless of your business experience.
So if you're starting out, or you're super experienced and you've been years into building your empire, squarespace has all of the tools you need to basically make your business flourish and learn all of the things you need, so you don't waste a bunch of time reading all the books and going through the courses.
You can essentially learn as you go along, And one of my favorite things about Squarespace is the fact that they have a blog feature.
So anytime that you run into maybe a tool on their platform or something that you know you need to master, like SEO or email marketing, Squarespace has all of the information written out so that you can become an expert at it in no time.
Plus, it really helps that they have amazing, super unique tools on their website that helps you enter your professional entrepreneur era in literally just a couple of steps.
For example, Blueprint AI, which is Squarespace's new generative AI website builder, is insane and like nothing I've ever seen before.
With Blueprint AI, you can now get a fully custom website in just a few steps, using basic information about your industry, goals and personality to generate premium quality content and personalized design recommendations.
But before all of that fancy stuff, every single dream first needs a domain.
And Squarespace domains now makes it easier than ever for you to find the right name for your business at a fair, all-inclusive price.
There are no hidden fees or add-ons required.
Every Squarespace domain comes with advanced privacy and security tools included to ensure your domain remains online and protected.
And then, once that's all set up, Squarespace is gonna provide everything you need, from SEO tools to a website builder to a professional email service, to not only get you started, but to get you to thrive.
So don't wait to claim your name, invest in your domain today.
You guys can get started at squarespace.com forward slash TAMCORE.
You'll find my code and the link below in the description, which will get you 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain.
So get started before 2026 starts.
Okay, let's get right into the dilemmas.
First, we're gonna approach the juiciest ones, dating and love.
I'm in love with my best friend's brother and I don't know what to do.
Neither of them knows it.
I'm so sorry, that was my first thought.
Okay, advice.
I honestly think it's just a matter of a mature conversation and it could actually work out really, really great.
Because I don't believe in not doing what you want just because it might create an awkward situation.
You owe it to yourself to see out your desires.
But first, I want you to ask yourself, is it worth it?
Is it real, unconditional love that you have for the brother, not just limerence or a crush?
Or you just liking the idea of him and you've never actually gotten the opportunity to get to know him for who he is.
Because if so, it's not worth it.
Is the age gap right?
Do your lifestyles align together?
Does your mindset and values match?
This is all information you can gather before having to get into an awkward scenario or upset your best friend or maybe even, you know, damage your friendship if it comes to that.
Is he likely interested in you too?
If the answer to all of those questions I just gave you was yes, then it's absolutely worth it to have the conversation with your best friend.
But at the end of the day, it is a risk.
And if it doesn't work out between you and the brother then it could ruin your friendship with your friend.
But I would also argue if your best friend loves you and has your best intentions at heart, then she should be able to take a step back, not have to make it about herself and this huge, big awkward deal.
At the end of the day, it's two people that might fall in love and have genuine interest in each other, and that is completely allowed, because who would ever want to stand in the way of true love?
Just don't doubt yourself and get in your head.
Visualize you being able to pursue this romantic interest if the answer to all those questions were yes, while still thriving in your best friendship.
Because i do believe you can have it all.
Okay, next dilemma.
I know I'm attractive, but when I'm out with friends, men only hit on them.
I don't care about male validation, but still.
Okay, I learned this the hard way, but with men it's never about who's the most attractive woman in the room.
It's about who's the most approachable.
And this is not my opinion.
This is my experience in being out and about in bars and clubs with my male friends and seeing how they approach these situations.
They will literally point out the most gorgeous girl in the room, say they really like her and then refuse to approach her because they don't want to bruise their ego.
They want to go talk to a girl who seems a little bit more friendly and a little bit more open.
So if you are there saying you don't care about male validation, men can sense that through your energy and they're more likely to approach somebody else.
It's got nothing to do with your worth and it's got nothing to do with your looks.
This doesn't mean that you're wrong for being a little bit more detached and having a colder energy towards them, because you're just in a different season of your life and we've all been there.
And it also doesn't mean that your friends are in the wrong for being the more approachable people, because that's the season of their life they're in and those are the desires they want.
But even in my experience I used to be DMed and approached by the most guys when I was out there looking for it and I wanted a flirt and I wanted a date and I kind of loved the attention.
Ever since I went on my self-love journey and I couldn't care less I have never not been approached more, if that makes sense.
Remember, you're not being overlooked, you're being filtered, okay?
Your standards are higher, so your reality then matches the standards you have set for yourself.
This is not some bad luck you're going through.
You're simply protected from misaligned people and situations.
I love being single, but how do I deal with sporadic envy for girls my age, getting engaged at 25 years old?
Everyone talks about this.
It's super common.
Honestly, I've always said 25 is super young to get engaged or married.
I'm not even saying that as the truth.
That's just been my personal opinion my whole life.
Now I'm 25.
I've been in a super long-term relationship.
Me and my partner have been living together for a year and I've never felt more ready in my life.
Like I'm excited for this phase of my life.
And yeah, I have to constantly remind myself that I made a promise to myself to wait until I was just a little bit older than I was 25, before I took that leap and was ready for that phase in my life.
Because every single time I see an engagement post or an engagement ring on Instagram, I get excited.
It's only natural and human.
With the envy thing.
I think you have to remind yourself and I always do this getting engaged full stop, but also getting engaged slash.
Married at a certain age is not an achievement, is not something to aspire to.
Yes, it's an amazing thing when it does happen and you deserve to celebrate it, but it's not something we're worried about.
It needs to be on this timeline, it needs to happen soon, because there are so so so so, so many other things you can manifest for yourself and controlling your life.
A man should be the last of your priorities.
And on top of that, everyone is on their own timeline like yes, that girl that's 25 might be getting engaged, but you're 25 and you're in your single era and that is a gift in itself.
And hey, I'm going to take it all the way to say those girls getting engaged are probably envious of you because you are getting more time in your single era than they did because they got engaged before you.
And once you're engaged and once you're married, that's lasting you a lifetime.
And yes, you can still focus on yourself and your self-love and you should but you will never get as much time as you have right now.
So stop comparing yourself to other people's timelines when you are going to be in that exact space as well.
Them doing it before you does not rob you of anything.
But I completely get it.
Like this is something that society has conditioned us to want to do ASAP.
It's conditioned women to be something to look forward to and to rush the arrival of.
A lot of women link it into their self-worth and say you know, I've been chosen so soon or I got engaged so soon into my relationship.
But remember waiting a little bit longer and choosing yourself in the process, waiting for the right person to come.
And even if you found your person, just giving the relationship the time it needs for you guys to grow together significantly before you make a literal life-altering, lifelong-lasting decision is the best, most self-loving decision you could ever make for yourself.
And so you should be proud of that.
Okay, onto the friend dilemmas.
My guy friend has a girlfriend, but he's been giving me weird vibes.
Am I imagining it or do I run?
Listen girl, I had my very own experience with this vote.
Run from my own experience unfortunately, i've seen so many guys just don't have that boundary to begin with, like they will be in love with their girlfriend and like be so happy in that relationship, but still want to be like weird or flirty with you.
It's really bizarre.
It's not the vibe, and also just you even needing to ask the question and you being doubting of the situation and being a bit wary and cautious of it, in my opinion, is all the validation you need, Because a man in a relationship should never even give you an inkling that he might like you.
It should be clear as day where the boundary is and where the line is.
And I know it's so easy to like gaslight yourself into thinking well, I don't have any proof and I don't have any evidence.
And like, he didn't really do anything like physically wrong.
So I'm not sure, maybe I'm exaggerating, but trust me, your body knows, your nervous system knows, your mind knows from years of experience, learn to trust yourself because, at the end of the day, all you're going to do is distance yourself and take a step back.
We're not going to go into accusing everybody.
It's just about protecting your peace and honoring your feelings.
A friend of mine stopped showing up for me so we stopped talking, but i miss her.
What do i do?
Always reach out, always reach out.
I will scream this from the rooftops i am the biggest advocate for this.
I don't care if it's embarrassing, i don't care if it's been years, i don't care if the person's gonna shut you down or reject you.
You owe it to yourself to reach out for that closure and have that final conversation, regardless of what the circumstances, especially when it's a friend.
This is the time to put your pride and your ego aside because yes, it's going to hurt in the moment.
Yes, it's going to feel uncomfortable and it's not going to feel nice for yourself, but you are doing your future self the biggest favor by making sure it's all nipped in the bud now and you don't have anything lingering on your mind or any what ifs for the rest of your life.
It's natural to feel scared and doubtful in these situations, but life is short and you have to do what you can because there's always a chance it could turn out even better than you could have imagined.
And there are two ways this can go.
Either your friend responds and she agrees with you and you have really healthy communication and then you start to rekindle things or have a connection again and it's amazing and you come back together and it's great.
Or two you have a conversation and she rejects you, or things don't go well and you don't rekindle and you go your separate ways again.
Slash, she doesn't even reply to you, or it goes really badly.
Even in that situation, even though you're not getting the friendship, you're getting so much clarity.
You're getting so much closure.
The situation is done in your head for good.
And it's the final kick you need to know, this is not my person.
Advice trying to make more friends as a girly post-uni in her 20s.
It's so tough.
I know, I've been there.
And truthfully, when I graduated, I had the same desire and goal.
And yet my action was I just spent a whole year holed up in my bedroom, working away on my career and my passions and not actually actioning that goal or trying to socialize with people.
But that's just me.
I spent so long just in hustle culture and building up my career, which I am glad I did.
But it meant that three years later is when I finally started making like true good decisions, friendships in my 20s, like literally.
The phase i'm in now is where i'm like truly finding my people, because i'm actually allowing myself the time to cultivate those relationships and pull back into them and build them and grow with them.
And i'm not saying that's how you should do it, but from my experience, doing it in that way, without even knowing and without even being intentional about it, doing it that way helped, because doing it three years later means i know who i am more because i'm a little bit older.
My frontal lobe has developed, because i'm 25 now And my foundation is already there, because I focused on my career and building up my life and moving to the city I wanted and building on my romantic relationship and who I am and my hobbies and my routines and my self-development.
Now, when I'm approaching friendships, I feel so much more secure and so much more sure and certain of what I'm looking for in a friendship.
Whereas if I did it straight out of uni, Whoever I would have found at that point probably wouldn't have lined with me right now.
Just personally, as someone who's grown so rapidly and I was always the goal to change and become new versions of myself.
And also I've moved two cities in the last three years.
It was way less likely to work, but right now, I'm kind of glad it worked out in the way it did.
So I just want to say that, not for you to replicate it, but just as reassurance that if it doesn't work out straight away, it's fine.
Sometimes it's serving your timeline and your needs, so that, when it does happen, it stays for a long time.
Also, you just have to treat friendship like dating.
They are basically the same thing.
It's so funny.
I can't tell you how many friendship dates I went on not only during uni but especially afterwards in the last few years.
I have messaged girls on Instagram and I've messaged mutuals and I've met up with other influencers and I've said like, let's go for coffee.
And, to be truthful, so many of them.
I walked away from meeting a girl for the first time and then never spoke to her again, not because anything went wrong, but just because I just knew in my soul it wasn't an alignment and it wasn't a friendship I was looking for.
And that's completely okay, because that's exactly what I would do with a guy.
I do not accept this notion of just agreeing to have a girl as your friend just because you're both girls and you're both nice and you both like getting matcha.
That's not a friendship.
To me, a friendship is aligned values and goals and mindsets and the connection you feel when you're with each other.
And it took me a hot minute to find that.
It took a lot of first dates with girlfriends to finally get to the friendships I'm building now.
And it was all truly part of the process.
So I also want to remind you of that.
And the biggest tip is you will meet the most aligned women for you when you are living in alignment and I know that's definitely happened for me like sorting out my career and doing all the things I do and the workout classes and going to the places I do and living in the city that I've always wanted to means it's been so much easier for me to find women that actually fit into my life and are actually the kind of friends I've always looked for, because I built myself up first and I figured out who I am and what aligns to me, and you need to do that in order to find your people.
And lastly, you firstly need to become the friend that you wish you had.
And this was a huge lesson for me.
I was so in it with hustle culture and just being a lone wolf and putting work above all else.
I wasn't a very good friend whatsoever.
So firstly, I had to establish my work-life balance and that took a lot of work.
And then also, you know, being an open and honest communicator and being a little bit confrontational when things bother you, it's a huge like trait of friendship and actually being able to grow with people. being someone who's consistent and stable and has a secure attachment style was another huge one being someone who's stable and confident enough in their own life that you can only ever celebrate other people's wins and it's never a competition like these are all things you need to build within yourself to attract the right type of friendships one huge thing i actually went through was i had to kill the people pleaser in me because i was such a people pleaser and i also was a bit shy and introverted that i could never go out and make female friends myself but there were many times in my life and especially throughout uni where women would kind of adopt me into their friendship group and because I was shy and I just wanted to be liked and I was such a people pleaser and I wasn't aware of my own worth and I was like oh my god people want to be friends with me that I never even questioned is this friendship right for me and it got me in so many bad situations with women who you know brought me into their friendship group the intentions were never right they were deeply envious they were really bad gossipers they weren't loyal to any of their friends or me and it was just i was just surrounded by bad people because i wasn't picky enough i didn't have standards but also my people pleaser empath energy attracted people that knew they could take advantage of it and knew they could walk all over me because i wasn't going to do anything about it me working on that i've never had a bad friendship like situation ever since it's been amazing people in my school aren't really into self-development what do i do it doesn't need to be a joint venture okay this is your time to focus on it alone not everyone needs to have the same interest as you and trust me i had the same situation in school i was the only person i knew in the school and now my friendship group that was so deeply interested in self-development and i'm talking over a decade ago now And I didn't even question it.
I just think the whole point in self-development is you gotta go through the solitude and the loneliness for a bit, you know.
It's not supposed to always be a hobby that's shared.
And I think even just pursuing on your own is a lesson in itself.
Okay, onto the self-love and confidence dilemmas.
How can I stop tying my self-worth to my acne and start feeling secure in myself?
Gosh, I am on this journey.
I've been on this journey for so many years.
Number one you have to get outside and not allow the state of your skin to make you shrink and hide.
And I know it's hard, and I'm not saying you need to fall in love with your acne and embrace it and show it to the world, because I know you don't want to do that.
The point of this is you cannot let it convince you that you need to stay at home, or that you can't take a picture and post it on Instagram, or that you can't go to the event.
This was such a hard pill for me to swallow, because if you are having a flare up that is worse than usual, the last thing you want to do is like go outside when you're like.
I know it will be a bit better in a few days, but this is your life and life is short.
And especially being in the career I'm in, where I have to be on podcasts and events.
It was a lesson I had to learn very fast that I'm going to go out and people are going to see my skin And if they want to make a judgment, that's absolutely fine.
And if I'm going to be photographed and you can see all the bumps on my skin, that's fine, because I'm here and I'm showing up for my dreams and my goals.
And that is bigger than any blemish on my skin ever.
Your skin is not a personality trait.
It's not anything to do with your worth or your character.
It's just a piece of your body that's doing its thing and it's learning through your hormones and your food habits and your skincare, and it's just trying to stabilize itself.
That's it.
It's just doing its thing in the background, but it's got nothing to do with who you are as a person ever.
And it can be complicated and it can be difficult, trust me, i know.
Every single time i think i found the solution or it's getting a little bit better.
Something happens and i have to learn about it again, and this is from a girl who's choosing to work on it holistically, and it's a long journey, but i've chosen to go on that long journey as well as like a self-loving thing.
I could easily go on accutane or spironolactane, which is just a band-aid fix, by the way, and also isn't even good for your body or your hormones.
And so either I could have the quick fix just to go out in public and have more people approve of me and my appearance and not have people commenting on social media making fun of my skin.
Sure,
But I love and respect my body more than that that I will go through the longer, more painful, uncomfortable stage of having my acne there and healing it the right way, even though it takes a longer time, because my worth and my confidence and my career and my success isn't dependent on my physical perfection.
And I think the biggest shift here is your self-image isn't what you look like.
It's not how perfect your makeup is.
It's not the state of your skin or the size of your body.
It's how you communicate.
It's your energy.
It's the way you connect with people.
It's the energy that you give out.
It's the way you feel.
It's the way you love.
It's the relationships you cultivate.
It's the effect you have on people.
It's the way that when you walk into a room, how do you impact people while you're there?
That's who you are.
That's your self-concept.
What if your self-love journey makes others think you've changed too much?
Thank God.
Thank God.
Please keep changing them and leave behind all these people that are refusing to keep up with you and celebrate your evolution instead, because you're supposed to change.
And you know what?
Not only you, even all the girlies out there that know nothing about what we talk about on this side of the internet and that aren't on their growth journey and that don't read self-help books or listen to podcasts.
Everyone's supposed to grow.
Not everybody gets it and not everybody does it, but we're all supposed to do it.
So it's so laughable to me when we try and go on our self-growth journey and people try and bring us down or they criticize us or they question why you're doing things differently whole time.
It's like you're supposed to be doing the same thing.
I'm not judging you.
You're missing out on a whole part of the human experience and i'm not saying anything about you, but you dare judge me hilarious.
The reason people do this is A they either benefited from you being insecure small, shrinking yourself, being a people pleaser.
I can relate to that.
Or two, people like comfort and predictability.
And so everybody organizes you in these neat little boxes in their heads, right?
Every time they look at their mom or their dad or their sibling or their friend or you, they know what they're gonna get from you.
They know what you like.
They know how you approach things.
They know your personality trait whether you're shy or you're afraid of public speaking or you would never be an influence because you're just not that type of person.
Then the second you do something that's a little bit outside their box.
It's too much work for them to reorganize.
It's too much work for them to.
Then they have to grow with you, they have to catch up on your journey and i really think that's a true form of love and connection people doing that for you and if somebody can't, it doesn't always make them a villain.
Okay, sometimes they don't get it and they can't relate and they're not on that journey, and that's absolutely fine.
It doesn't make them a bad person.
But it doesn't mean that you have to stay with them if you can feel that it's making you shrink and also people aren't mad at you, that they've changed.
I think people get mad at you that you're a reflection of the way they haven't changed and the way they haven't grown, and that can be extremely triggering to people and trigger serious like envy and self-criticism.
But because they don't know how to move past that self-criticism and change it into something constructive, they use it as an attack on you.
Those types of people you need to get away from immediately and also since we're talking about growing and changing and evolving here The whole point of that journey is to figure out the people that aren't meant for you and let go of the dead weight.
This is simply another step on your journey, not something that's so personal and so unlucky and bad that's happening to you.
How to deal with jealousy of another woman's beauty.
I've got a great story about this.
If I had the best, most photogenic, symmetrical face, perfect features, I would have gone on to be a model.
Because who wouldn't right and that's great.
Nothing wrong with being a model.
I would have pursued that for a few decades.
But if i was so busy pursuing modeling i never would have been here, i never would have been doing what we're doing right here.
I never would have spent so much time on self-development and my growth journey.
I never would have had the time to set up youtube channels and write a literal book and and make tools and resources for women across the world to use, for them to level up themselves and redefine beauty and self-obsession and confidence and self-love.
In fact, me not being conventionally attractive, me not having the right physical features, eg like a tiny nose and things.
Me growing up being extremely socially awkward and not having quite grown into my features yet.
By the way, in school, I was once called both four eyes and brace face.
Just to paint a picture for you there.
Okay, the kind of teenager i was i was not cool.
All of those experiences had to happen for me because the insecurity and the feeling of all these other girls are prettier than me and i'm not a pretty girl.
That's not true, but that's what i thought.
I'm not a pretty girl and i can't be.
This allowed me to instead hone in on how can i grow and how can i cultivate confidence that doesn't rely on a place of what i look like physically, and it put me so ahead of so many other people my age.
Because of the pain and adversity i experience, I went to self-development as, like this, healing place.
Little did I know.
Consuming it for so long over a decade and then implementing it onto my journey and learning my own lessons through trial and error would allow me to have this amazing career where I literally get to help millions of women around the world.
I've literally gained so much just from having my own insecurities and being bullied and not being as attractive as other girls.
It's given me gifts and I believe that's true for everybody.
I think everybody in this life is given their own set of adversities, whether it be trauma, or your family, or your friendship problems, or romantic relationship problems, or the body you were born with and the face that you were given.
It's all for a very specific purpose. because it lays out the life that you are supposed to live.
I don't believe that anything is an accident.
And in order for you to fulfill your full potential, you have everything that you need already given to you right now.
You don't need to change a thing.
So there's no point in being jealous of another woman's beauty, because her beauty is all about the path that she's meant to go on.
And we love that for her.
And she should do that.
And I hope she thrives.
And your beauty, because you do possess beauty, okay?
Another woman's beauty is not the absence of your own is allowing you to go on the very specific path you're intended for.
So there's no competition and there's no envy, because we're just doing what we're supposed to be here to do.
Okay, the last dilemmas?
These are all about goals and career.
Number one how do i find my dream career?
I'm lost, but i also want financial freedom.
Firstly, don't put so much pressure on yourself because you don't just figure out your dream career, of course you're lost.
The only way you find your dream career is by trying different things and then you figure it out.
And the reason that some people find their dream career at such an early age or gain success from such an early age is because they were doing a bunch of different things at an early age.
They were going to different classes and learning different skills and had a bunch of different hobbies and spent time with different groups of people.
Maybe they had a part-time job.
Maybe they had side hustles as a teenager.
That's actually exactly what I did.
I set up my first blog when I was like 15.
I learned how to edit videos when I was 10.
I continued that hobby for the next 10 years.
When I was 15, 16, I set up my first public fashion blog.
When I was 17, I set up my first jewelry business.
I've done so many different things, right?
I've even experimented with the way that I want to be an influencer and create content.
That's what allowed me to find what stuck and what actually gave me passion and purpose at such an early age, because I already were doing so much since I was a teenager.
And there's no shame in you finding your dream career a little bit later than others anyway, because through the experience of you trying different things, having little jobs or part-time jobs, that's making you money anyway.
That can still grant you the journey of financial freedom, as long as you're being smart with that money.
You've read the books to be financially literate and you're putting that money into smart investments and that's building and compounding over time anyway.
You don't even need the dream job to be financially free.
Also, let's not forget that so many people find their dream career later in life.
Kim k only started being a lawyer in her 40s.
She just pivoted and started a whole new career path, and she didn't even get properly famous from her reality show and her businesses until she was in her 30s.
Throughout her 20s and even in her late 20s, she was launching multiple failed businesses that nobody even remembers today.
And if you don't know what i'm talking about, google it, because it's the biggest sign that your greatest successes can come later in life, like skims she's only had for a few years in her 30s.
Vera Wang only started designing her wedding dresses in her 40s and look how successful she is.
And there's so many other stories like that.
You don't need to figure it all out while you're starting.
If you have an idea and a passion right now great, go all in on it.
You owe it to yourself to try that.
But if you have no idea, because you haven't lived enough, you haven't been curious enough, you haven't tried different things and failed at different things to figure out what absolutely won't work for you and what sparks enough passion and joy for you that you start to build up.
This image of this is what i want to spend the rest of my life doing.
At the same time, some of the most boring job titles i've seen have the biggest salaries, and it doesn't require you the effort of setting up your own business, because that's a whole thing in itself.
Right, you can have a normal nine to five and it's a super boring thing and it's not a dream job, but it can allow you to become financially free, so it's worth looking into.
Ah, this style, Emma.
To become the girl boss of my dreams ASAP or live a soft life and enjoy youth in brackets late 20s.
Life isn't promised, so I'm all about doing it now, making the most of the days in front of you.
Plus, I'm of the opinion that in your 20s that you are never going to have more energy, time and freedom and independence and the least responsibilities in your life like you do now.
You have all of the tools and resources.
I know it doesn't feel like it, because you might not be financially independent yet or abundant with your wealth, but every other thing you've got it.
People in their 30s and their 40s.
They might be richer than you, but they're still wishing they were you.
They still wish they had the time that you had the energy, that you had the health and the youth in your body that you had.
So I just feel like because we have so much of that right now in our 20s, it means that we're capable of having it all.
You can be working and hustling on your business in the week and partying on the weekends and traveling with your friends.
In my opinion,
I know so many people that do both, just don't do them simultaneously.
Everything has its season.
So maybe all summer you were gonna mostly party and only work a few hours and then in the winter you were hustling and you were setting up your businesses and doing all of that.
You can absolutely do that because you don't have anyone that's dependent on you.
You have so much freedom.
Your girl boss era like pouring everything into your career now is going to build you long-term stability.
It's you building your foundation now, whereas your soft life gives you your peace and your relaxation and your enjoyment, And you can't really skip either, because without one of them you're just going to feel incomplete and you're always going to feel like something is missing from your life.
I personally think you need to figure out what kind of person you are so you know what you need to prioritize.
I've always been the type of person that's like.
I love my career, i want to work on it so hard.
I get so thrilled and happy and like passionate at the thought of working for hours on end and holding myself up at my apartment and working on my own.
That's just how i'm wired as an individual and that's why i follow the path i have.
If that's not, you don't force yourself into that pattern just because you see other people on social media doing it.
You need to do what's going to fill your cup and make you a happy individual.
If you need more play, rest time, travel time, that's your path for a reason.
So honor it and trust it.
And the last dilemma for this episode of Girl Talks.
How do you manage big goals while in a relationship?
I love this question.
Everyone needs to be asking this.
My favorite ever thing to talk about and severely, severely underrated in being a girl boss and making your dreams come true and honoring your independence, but also being a lover girl at the same time and thriving and growing in your relationship.
Let's get into it.
One of the biggest things I did with this, when I have dated literally anybody, was I would just have a conversation right at the beginning of the relationship and be like listen first of all.
I'm a career girly and that's always going to come first.
It's going to always come above you.
That's just the truth, okay?
And instantly if they think that's a red flag and they want to run, perfect, saves my time.
Secondly, because of that I don't text throughout the day, but we can absolutely have a phone call at the end of the day in bed and catch up about our days.
That's what I'm all about.
And I've done this in every relationship I've ever had.
And trust me, I've had a lot.
And thankfully all the people that I was in relationships with understood it and were fine.
And I never really had any problems with that throughout.
Nobody really ever complained, to what I can remember.
You know, if they did, i it would have been bye like i would have dumped them, because i told you what my priority was from the start.
So don't think you can then change it, because i warned you and it's just about being straight up and honest, being an open and honest communicator about what your boundary is and what you need from your life, from your relationship, from your partner.
That is the best, most self-loving thing you can do, not only for yourself, but loving for the other person, in being upfront about what they can expect from you and the type of partner you're gonna be.
So for me personally, the not texting thing throughout the day is just not how I function.
I knew it was going to distract me from my work and that allowed me to manage my work and my big goals throughout the day.
But then also spend quality time with that person, talking for hours in the evening or going on a date once or twice a week.
You saying that and then them being understanding and reciprocating, so hot.
Shows compatibility, shows true interest and true love, shows that you could grow together in a relationship.
We love to see it.
And plus your partner doesn't need to be this clingy person that needs all the hours in your day.
You literally just need quality time.
It's about carving out one chunk where it's actually quality, like presence and real connection, not just meaningless texting throughout the day.
I also think when it comes to managing like your ambition and big goals in a relationship, it's never hard when you have the right person.
When someone's also ambitious in their own way it doesn't need to be in the same way as you and that they actually genuinely understand you or at least putting in effort to try to.
In that sense, all they're going to do is add momentum to your journey and your big goals.
They are never going to be the hurdle or the resistance stopping you or adding self-doubt or making you feel like you're not a good enough girlfriend because you don't give them enough time.
Because your partner isn't supposed to be your whole universe, they're not supposed to be your whole world and they're not supposed to be the thing that makes you happy.
You're supposed to build your own individual happinesses and then come together to share it.
And so if you're not giving each other enough time to go out and build your happinesses in building your life, your career, your ambition, your goals, your friends, the relationship itself is never gonna work.
Because you're not getting enough of the good stuff on the outside that you're supposed to be sharing together at the end of the day.
In a nutshell, be honest and open with your communication and make a system and a plan of how you're going to do it.
Whether it's having a set work block throughout the day where it's no phone, no communication, or whether you live together and you're going to go out and work in cafes.
Boyf and I actually do this a couple of times a week.
Or whether you actually want to work on it together.
If you are super united in your goals and your ambition, make your vision boards together at the end of the year.
Boyf and I have done that.
Have regular conversations about how you're feeling about work and your goals and where you want to get to try and grow together throughout that process, because even that is pouring into your goals and your ambition and your career, but also growing your relationship at the same time.
It's a win-win.
And that brings us to the end of yet another Girl Talk episode.
Thank you so much for watching, guys.
I had so much with this.
Thanks for continuously sending me such unique, amazing dilemmas.
I just know This is going to give other people so much perspective and help them.
Let me know what you thought of this episode.
What was your favorite answer slash dilemma?
What gave you clarity and help?
I want to read through all of them and respond.
So make sure you comment and be sure to check out everything in the description, because I sell journals.
I have a book on self-love.
I have so much other stuff that gives you advice and help below in the description.
So check it out.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
And if you want to send me a question for the next episode of Girl Talk, then you can go straight to my Instagram, because I'm always asking that on my story or in my secret broadcast community, where I'm always sending little helpful quotes and things.
So you can join that because there's even more free resources there.
I'll see you guys next time for a brand new video.
There's going to be so much good new year. goal-setting videos coming soon, so stay tuned, okay?
We're in lock-in season.
Every video after this one is gonna be all about leveling up and making 2026 your bitch, okay?
