Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Cress Podcast. I'm G-Soo and I'm Crystal.
All right, so we're gonna switch things up a little bit and I will intro the Gen Z word slash sling word of the week.
This is something that I found on TikTok in the comments actually where I just saw the comments of this one
video. It was all this one phrase. So the phrase today is lock in. So the meaning of this word I think
is somewhat easy to figure out. It basically means you get into the zone, you kind of pull it together,
you concentrate a little bit and you really lock in. But the Know Your Mean page has some of the
funniest memes I've ever seen. So one of them is when the face ID fucking up and I got a lock in
and it has three emojis to which are crying emojis and the third one is just like a really sculpture
defined like face emoji, which is so funny. It's like I definitely have been there. The other one
is when you're drunk as fuck in a 7-Eleven and you got a lock in to talk to the cashier.
I feel like both memes are actually you just instantly know what lock in means.
I was surprised that this is like such a popular phrase now because you said you've been seeing it
all over TikTok comments just like lock in, lock in because I kind of know it from gaming. Not
even necessarily as a slang phrase but now that I think about it the nature of it is kind of slain
but whenever you're playing a game and you're losing and it's a team game it's very common to
hear like all right everyone like lock in you know we're gonna turn this around we're gonna start
winning or maybe you're playing against someone they're like are I gotta like sit up now and like
lock in play properly against you now. So that's kind of how I have heard it used in the past but
I think the memes and the comments are really funny in all these real world situations.
It's so relatable. Well yeah and I feel like what's also hilarious is I think you're right like this
phrase specifically can be attributed to so many different situations. You're slacking a little bit
and then suddenly you have to like really focus and put it together but the way the meme format is
it's like I'm looking at one meme here on Noir meme a picture of Mario looking goofy as hell
and the next picture is literally Mario like staring into the I guess camera like the photo
looking really stashed. I don't know why this is so iconic. So funny. What are examples of
TikToks that you've seen the comments for? So I think you're right I'm scrolling through TikTok
and I see a bunch of like gamer ones but I see this one that's super funny. It says POV
you're having a breakdown in your room and you start hearing footsteps so you have to lock it.
Oh my god. That's just so like this is the most relatable phrase I've ever heard in my entire life.
Yeah. There's so many moments where I'm like okay I gotta lock it. Yeah. Oh my god that's so funny.
I can't think of one like I feel like a lot of people can relate to this back in the day and in
school when your parents aren't home from work yet and you're slacking but then you hear the garage
door open. Oh my god yeah and your mom was like oh can you make the rice or like can you defrost
as you're like fuck. You got to lock in and I feel like also back in high school when I told my
mom I couldn't do something because I had to study and then I was just goofing off in my room and
I hear footsteps. Got to lock it. Yeah. What a great phrase. I like that this is becoming popular.
Well yeah I'm a big fan. I think we should incorporate it into our daily vocabulary.
Yeah. Agreed. It's so fun to use outside of the gaming context.
Well I definitely know I'm going to be spending all my time flipping through lock in TikToks
later but back to the podcast topic at hand today. Today we wanted to really talk a little bit
about the generational gap. This one is specifically dedicated to our parents where we wanted to
dive in a little bit about the differences in I guess attitude and sort of outlook on life or
different aspects of life that we've been experiencing in terms of us versus our parents and how
dealing with that has evolved over the years. I feel like almost all aspects of life there's
potential conflicting viewpoints just because our backgrounds are so different. Things as basic as
like friendships and then as complicated as like finances and career paths. One example I can
actually think of for friendships is and I think we might have mentioned this on the podcast before
just as a random comment but I remember specifically when I was growing up my parents would say
oh your high school friends aren't necessarily going to be your lifelong friends. You know when they
said that I guess I didn't know how to react because I didn't know for sure. I was like I guess
there's some like possibility to these words that they're saying but also like I don't know if
that's going to be true for me either and then as we've grown older very interestingly at least
for us and a lot of people just in the Bay Area in general we still continue to uphold our high school
connections to a decent degree and just thinking about it why did my parents say that back in the
day it makes so much sense because they literally left their home country and came to a new country
across the world so of course you know they're not going to be as close with their high school friends
as we would be because we're still in the same country that we've been growing up in for the most
part of our lives. Yeah I feel like that angle makes discussing friendships so interesting and
like different with our parents. I think what I feel too is like I wonder how much social media
has changed the friendship landscape sort of. I know back in our parents age I think by the time
they were in their late 20s early 30s email was probably starting to gain traction so at least
they had something that wasn't just phone calls and snail mail but it's like there's nothing so
convenient like social media where you can keep up with people without having to actually keep up
with them. I feel like I know what's going on in people's lives without having like personally
contacted them in a long time I still makes me feel connected to them so then I feel like I have a
much more maybe like a lighter view on friendship than my parents who they needed like that international
commitment to upkeep their friendships. That's such a good point. You explaining that is totally
making me realize how much I take for granted our connectivity. I'm just imagining that we could
only communicate by snail mail or phones maybe like landlines. I'm sure international calls are
just crazy expensive snail mail like what if someone moves then your mail gets bounced back to you
like you don't know if it'll reach them if they don't update with the post office and all of that
kind of stuff and it'll take so much time for it to bounce back to like what if they moved again
just like so complicated and you know it's crazy also that reminds me my mom and dad shared a
story with me before that do you remember those chain mails that we would get yeah like send this
on to X amount of people or else you'll have bad luck for the rest of your life forever. Our
parents got that except snail mail version dude so that to hand right the copies oh my god wild
that's labor. Oh my god it really is like I hope they only had to send it out to five people
imagine 20 yeah maybe they kept it back then now gen alpha probably gets those and it's like
sent to a thousand of your best friends. I feel like what's also crazy to me is sometimes I think
about this when I watched older sort of like retro vibe dramas. I feel like people were maybe a
little bit less private back then because my mom told me some story about how this person from
our high school really wanted to get in touch with her but my mom had already moved away to like
soul. So then that person visited my mom's childhood home and like knocked on the door and spoke
to my mom's mom's on my grandma and it was like oh where's you know my insert mom's name here like
I want to talk to her can I get her contact information because I guess it makes sense right like
you couldn't really google someone back then. Right but now I'm just like dude if someone from my
high school came to my mom's house and like knocked on the door and asked for my contact info
I would be so creeped out like that would be a huge invasion of privacy. I yeah I feel like my
parents would be like who are you like are you a serial killer or what is this new tactic.
Honestly even now when someone knocks on our front door I always check via ring to like see who it is
but I think back then it was kind of normal to get knocks on the door and like open the door
and talk to people. Yeah agreed I mean even for me I remember before the age of pretty much
eight-ish we would just open the door if someone knocked on the like ring our doorbell maybe
it was my neighbor and you know it was a lot more like spontaneous like I don't know someone is
gonna come knock on the door to ask to like hang out or go play on the streets or whatever but now
it's like hey I'm gonna come to your house at five p.m. and then sometimes we're just like okay like
don't even ring the doorbell just text me when you're here. I feel like there's many layers of
communication before people come but truly back then it was like kids would bike over and like
knock and be like oh could you see a play. I just like can't imagine that anymore. Absolutely not.
We're all like cowering in fear when the doorbell rings pull out our phones check the camera like
what could it be. I guess a little bit different from friendships but still kind of similar is
relationships. I remember having a lot of conversations with my parents about relationships
and I think the attitudes that they held about dating at a younger age were not too different
from mine. I was kind of like okay date a bunch of people to see what is the best fit and move forward
from there but I do feel like my parents have a very specific idea about marriage. They were like oh
if you're sure that James is the one you guys should marry the sooner the better. Yeah versus now
I feel like in our generation it is a little bit more like paced out. It's not like oh as soon as
he's the one get married. It's more like get me on your own time. Like I know some people have
been dating for a very long time and do not prioritize marriage because of logistical things
and I feel like that's a huge difference from our parents generation. For sure. Oh so your parents
actually encouraged you to date when you were younger? Yeah I think like by the time I was in
college they were like oh you should try to date a bunch of people. Oh interesting. I feel like
my parents never had a very explicit stance on dating but it was mainly just pre-college don't date
like focus on studying but also as I think about it now comparing our generation to parents generation
it's a lot more likely you know kind of based on what we were just talking about with friendships.
It's more likely that we can keep in contact with you know high school friends and things like that.
So we see a lot of like high school sweethearts and I feel like in our parents generation maybe
they didn't see as many of relationships like that just because once again having immigrated out
of their home country cuts off a lot of connections for a while I think that kind of plays into
the whole generation gap friendships and relationships. Whoa that's kind of like mind blowing
actually. Although I feel like in Korea I have to wonder if mandatory military service has
something to do with like less high school sweethearts because men do have to go away for I think
it's like a year and a half ish now to serve and I feel like that kind of can put a damper on like a
new relationship of like do I really want to wait for this guy for a year and a half but interestingly
on my mom's side every single couple so four of the five siblings are married to their CC so
like CC is kind of like campus couple so they're all college sweethearts except my parents.
Oh wow actually my parents are also like a college couple but they got together much later
if I'm remembering right it was either like towards the end of college or maybe like right after
graduating that they got together so it's kind of late in their life that they got together but then
like once they got together everything was like bam and bam like leave the country together you
don't have kids like all that stuff it was like things just started to happening so yeah in that sense
my parents were always like don't date in high school but I was like um why not I guess to be fair
my parents weren't like encouraging me to date in high school but they would say off-hand shit like
oh it's just a high school boyfriend like just anything yeah and then I'll be like don't be so
dismissive of my of my lifestyle and then I think in college though my parents never really said
anything about dating so there was never any pressure to date people but I guess for them maybe
in their mind it was also just like oh you should probably focus on graduating and I guess if you
meet someone then good for you but otherwise just focus on living and surviving and studying
dude yeah taking care of yourself is already like a huge struggle like college I wonder maybe my
parents were like oh date other people because I used to do this thing where I would like date one
person be like he's the one until I actually found the one who is James but I feel like my parents
were like why are you so serious about it date more than like one person oh I stick clear if that's
the one or not well did your parents date more than one person so my mama secretly told me that she
has but she tells my dad she hasn't oh I mean my dad knows but he I think he just doesn't want to
tell right and then my dad claims to this day that my mom was his first love but none of us believe
in dude okay my dad also said something like that and I was like are you sure wait did your
parents go to like gender specific middle school high school elementary schools I don't think so
so my parents grew up in the same city and they ended up going to the same university which was
in the same city that they grew up in so my parents actually went to the same school since like
junior high but they just didn't know each other until college but they knew of each other at some
point so I was always like being an annoying kid at once I knew this I was like oh my god like did
you look over in junior high and and think like wow that that boy is gonna be my future husband
and I'm almost like no what the fuck wait that's so cute though it's like hometown lovers
yeah but they didn't become friends and then like boyfriend girlfriend until much later in
their lives it's cute in concept but reality is like oh I didn't care about this person until
we became friends but I do think that my parents didn't date that much before they got together
like very minimally so it's possible that they just didn't date at all seriously until they found
each other and it's also possible that like maybe there was one or two but regardless I think
it's very interesting because in a sense if your parents are each others just like one and only
first and only I guess they might actually have less dating experience than like you oh yeah I think
theoretically if both of them were telling the truth then that would be the case right and isn't
that kind of crazy to think about I guess so I mean I feel like it kind of makes sense to me though
because I feel like each generation is more progressive and part of that progressiveness I feel like
also bleeds into like how we see dating and stuff but I guess on the flip side I feel like dating
attitudes have changed a lot at least like my Korean American attitude towards dating is very
different from I think what my parents had because I think by the time my parents had gotten
together my dad was going on dates kind of specifically to get married so in Korea they call it
as fun but it's really just like okay these are two people who are hoping to get married soon so
like you guys should go on a date and then they like people will set it up like that so then I
feel like in that way he probably went on a bunch of blind dates like that but for me it's like
I would want to marry someone who I love after like months and months of dating versus like trying
to kind of feed run it I mean it worked out well for my parents and it's I guess unfair to be like
they speedrun it but I feel like the way I see it is like my dad had a priority of like getting
married soon but probably by a specific age versus I don't know if I would have had that same
thought I guess yeah I think my parents probably had a similar thought like oh like we should get
married soon because I think my parents got married after like a year of dating and I was like
that's crazy yeah I'm like there's no way I think I remember because my previous relationship was
relatively long and at one point my dad was like oh you guys have been dating for a while like
shouldn't you get married soon and I was like dude what like I'm so young like what are you talking
about you know right and he was like well you shouldn't wait too long regardless because and then
he like goes on and on about like these ideals and I'm like I guess but also like what if I'm just
not ready like I'm not at the age to marry yet and he's like sooner than later at least I am kind
of curious like I wish sometimes I could time travel and see my parents when they were young
because I feel like Loki there's a lot of tea and God's that they're not sharing or they'll like
bread crumb it but apparently when my mom was just starting to date my dad my grandma was throwing
a huge fit because my mom had allegedly said that she didn't want to get married and then my grandma
was like I'm sick right now like you don't know how much longer I'll be alive spoiler alert she's
literally still alive to this day I don't want to pass before I'm able to see get married like you're
being a bad daughter there was a bunch of parental pressure but I guess I found it also shocking that
my mom was like I don't want to get married maybe I have this conception of like oh people back then
they want to get married ASAP but it's like if you kind of dive into the details at least for my mom
like she was sort of resistant to the idea in the first place whoa that is very fascinating wow
yeah I have no idea what my parents take is I can totally imagine a lot of people maybe even married
out of convenience during our parents generation especially if they're in a hurry to say like leave
the country right then maybe they're like oh it would be really nice if I had a supportive partner
who can go through all the files and tribulations we're about to face you know figure it out as we go
but then for us it's all about like no I have to love them it's got to be like perfect and like fit
in my life and all that kind of stuff right so actually when I was traveling recently I hung out
with a friend who I haven't seen in a while and she was basically saying that she has kind of like
an internal clock of I have to date for X number of years before I get married to someone and I found
that very interesting because kind of like what I was saying I feel like there's a certain preconception
I have of maybe views on marriage and stuff are still a little bit more old fashioned in Asia than
it is in the US for example but for her to kind of say that I was like oh I guess it is kind of a real
generation thing where nowadays people do have that fantasy of oh and a date for however many years
before getting married whereas before there was probably more of an emphasis on like you have to
be married before this age I think there's also the whole thing about it being more common that people
want to move in first before they get married to kind of you know have a little trial run there
and make sure that you're able to work it out when you're living together before you know jumping
into it right after marriage and then being like wait but then a lot of Asian American immigrant
parents don't love that they're kind of like well if you're gonna move in together why not just
get married I mean like I don't know about you but for my parents if say like my partner is visiting
our house they'll be like well you're not married so maybe you shouldn't share a bed under our roof
and they're like sorry we're just a little old-fashioned dude that takes me back to when James
visited my parents and stayed over for like a week it was like his first time sleeping over at our
place and then my mom was like I'll prep the bed for him in the basement and I was like what the
fuck like we've been dating for five years already like Shirley you're okay like we literally
live together at this point but a couple years prior I guess this would have been when James and I
were dating for three years we did our Asia trips together so you and Avi were with us for a leg
and then we eventually split off and James and I went to visit his dad and his dad booked us a hotel
and when we walked in it was two twin beds did you push them together or did you actually sleep on
the separate I think we actually just slept separately honestly it was kind of nice but I was like
that's hilarious yeah I mean I know a couple of my friends who have been dating for like almost
10 years now up until actually still pretty recently sometimes their parents would just be like um
yeah we prepped the guest room for so and so but then there was like one point that kind of
changed everything and then after that was like okay I guess you can sleep in the same bed I think
of something like they were all visiting family member and that person was like oh like you two can
just sleep together because we don't have room anyway and then after the parents just saw them
sleeping together in the same bed things shifted after that is like okay I guess you guys can share
that under our roof you did it once so like whatever yeah I feel like at least the way that I
communicate with my parents sometimes or like the way I've seen my parents communicate about
these things there's just so many things that are kind of vague or like left unsaid or purposely
obscured and it makes me feel a little bit weird about it because I feel like in the US it's very normal
to be like oh yeah we live together but even when I'm in the US when I talk to relatives for example
I feel like sometimes I have to check with my parents like oh do they know we live together
should I not talk about it and just make sure that they're cool with it and obviously it's different
now that we're married but there's been a lot of times where I'm like about to be like oh yeah
we live together and then my dad or my mom cut in they're like oh you know they live like 10 minutes
from each other so it's really close and I'm like what the fuck we've literally been living together
for like four plus years you're like I guess his office is five minutes from the bedroom yeah
and it gets all weird because I feel like it was happy news when James and I bought a house
to then I was kind of like oh like I'm excited to like maybe talk about it or like whatever
and then because they like no one can know that we live together I was like they were like oh what
what have you been up to and I'm like nothing you're still living in that apartment
dude I remember once at the dinner they were like oh how's your apartment is it nice how much
do you pay and then I almost said like the actual rent that I was paying splitting the James and
then I was like well I guess I still not really fair so like during dinner I was like how much
should I scale down our rent so that it makes like reasonable sense in terms of the story of me
allegedly living by myself and I was like this is too much math like I just want to be able to talk
about it you're like oh let me pull up Zillow real quick what is a reasonable rent price to say
out loud at the table exactly that's pretty funny but actually recently my brother
moved in with his girlfriend my parents were really chill about it so I was like whoa I guess
my parents have come around but I think my parents I have asked them about it before
they said a couple living together before marriage they can handle that but if they live together
for too long before marriage then they start feeling a little iffy about it like oh well if you
live together for so long why don't you just get married already right and so I was like oh okay
good to know I guess that's really interesting I wonder if even our parents thoughts about the
concept of marriage and our thoughts about the concept of marriage are different because sometimes
I feel like it's almost like a logistical concept to them of like well you might as well be made
or you should get married because blah blah whereas for us it's kind of like a fantasy almost oh yeah
maybe so here is where a concept that I learned recently from my therapist really comes in I
thought this was super profound so my therapist said that this is very common among like immigrants
and children of immigrants basically the immigrating generation they're experiencing a lot of change
they're literally you know leaving a home going to a brand new country learning a new language etc etc
so they're experiencing a lot of change and so what they search for is stability and so I can see
how in this situation like marriage is a form of stability and like kind of more logistical like
you just said and then us being like the children of immigrants we live in the stability that they've
created and searched for all their lives so since we already have this stability we kind of
look for change whoa dude that's wild actually yeah it makes a lot of sense now that you put it that
way yeah so I guess us searching for relationships and stuff it's not necessarily for that stability
factor like we kind of have our thoughts rooted in like you said fantasy or like wow this will be
like some great love of my life and getting married is a big change that kind of stuff versus
like oh getting married is like stability in my life and that will anchor me down through all
this like chaos and change that I'm experiencing dude actually it also ties up really well too
because I think you mentioned that your parents got married before they immigrated and the like
impending immigration was kind of like one of the factors and that's actually really similar for
my parents as well where my dad knew that he had a really cool job opportunity where after a couple
years he was going to be sent out to the US to kind of work at the branches there so then he was
like okay I need to find the one that I can like do all of these things and go through all the
trials and tribulations of life with and for someone like me it's kind of interesting because
if I had to really choose I feel like my parents are the ones who are more willing to take risks
versus I'm the risk of verse one where I'm like I don't even know if I want to move to a new city
or move to a new stay like that seems like too big for me you know honestly I can kind of see
that for you though because I think you have gone through a lot of change you aren't the major
immigrant I guess if that makes sense for example like your parents they moved away from your
hometown essentially like when we were still pretty young so I think that was a big change and if
anything I feel like your parents move around like a decent amount so that's like kind of a lot of
change in terms of like maybe home-based kind of because I think I still kind of view my parents
home as home-based at times I can see how that causes you to be like oh I need to find more
stability and then end up participating in more like risk of verse actions whoa it's like
my parents immigration slash moving around is affecting me like that's the change in my life
yes too much makes sense honestly yeah because I would say like in comparison to you I think I'm
definitely a little more risk-taking at least compared to my parents but I think overall as a
person I still lean towards risk of verse and I think maybe that's also just from us like
growing up and seeing our parents being risk of verse so then it's like okay then
maybe that is like the right behavior or the like good behavior that I should be modeling
myself after right the more I think about it the more I wonder what other aspects of life we can
kind of attribute this to so safer like finances for example right people in our generation tend
to have a little bit of a different attitude about it than people in our parents generation
I don't know if your parents were huge into investing but I feel like our generation is like
very much into that very much into credit card churning all of these things I feel like are very
commonly discussed and talked about in people in our generation especially things like opening a
credit card or like what credit card is the best sometimes I find myself being the one to kind of
explain things like that to my parents and I would say I'm far from an expert on those things so
do you think this like risk of verse kind of attitude can also apply to the way we look at finances as
well yes I think when you're talking about credit cards that was totally something I could relate to
my parents they like never get credit cards with annual fees so I have a couple that have annual
fees and so sometimes when they hear about it they're like in all this shock so like you know one of
the most common ones is either chase Sapphire or like MX plat and they have high annual fees so I had
Sapphire for a while and when my parents found out because they're like oh that card looks nice
like what card is that and I'm like oh it's a Sapphire and I'm listing out all these benefits and
then they're like oh does it have an annual fee I'm like um yeah it's like four hundred dollars
and they're like what the fuck and I think in their eyes it's always like well we're trying not to
spend money like the purpose of credit cards is not to spend more money but to I don't know just
have a way of spending money I guess so I guess in their eyes it's like oh my god if I'm going to
pay like four hundred dollars on this credit card is it even worth it they're not even thinking about
the perks I think and sometimes the perks don't even apply to them so I think that is a great example
and it's not even necessarily risk versus not risk but it's definitely it's like the way that
we manage like finances and and view purchases yeah and I feel like they also have a completely
different idea on what they consider like a waste of money slash a good investment because
okay this is honestly probably just a bad habit of mine personally but I eat out a lot um so like
busy days or whatever I'm in a bad mood I'm like okay we're gonna go out to eat or we'll like
door dash something and I feel like that's like my toxic trait but to me sometimes it's worth it
because the convenience makes up for the cost right but I feel like my parents never eat out
they eat out significantly more when I'm there or they'll of course eat out for social
occasions but when it's just them too they always eat in and I guess I find that so fascinating
where I'm like how can you just eat the same thing every day if I'm always a great chef
but every day is like a little bit crazy to me it is also I'm thinking like you know not everyone
likes to cook and sometimes you just really need the break from cooking right in our eyes the money
is worth the sanity essentially right exactly and then sometimes I'm like oh dude if you don't want
to cook then why don't we just go out and eat and then everyone will be happy but then I guess
it's just rooted in their values and stuff that they're like oh fuck I'll just cook something simple
you know we don't have to spend money right okay like your sanity yeah and I feel like something
really similar it can be tied to like shopping habits as well where I guess to be fair when
my parents spend or buy something that's really high quality like they will definitely invest
the money in it but like on a daily basis I feel like my mom is like oh for shoes like why would
I get something from Nordstrom when I can just go to Nordstrom rack or marshals or TJ Maxx
like she's always hunting for that good deal yeah and I feel like I was very much so like raise
and like steeped in that attitude but nowadays I'm kind of like okay I'm gonna go for things that I
really specifically want like specific models and stuff that I want instead of just trying to find
the best deal at TJ Maxx or the best deal at marshals I don't know like I feel like my parents are
they do well for themselves but yeah they're still like bargain hunting and stuff which I'm always
like fascinated by yeah I guess it's just their habit almost now it's it's like so ingrained in
them it's kind of funny my parents are definitely very similar and my dad will always go to similar
stores that you mentioned and you know sometimes it's close that are maybe like a weird color or
kind of like a hodgepodge of stuff at these stores right so my dad will just buy these like super
cheap bright crazy colored clothes I guess it kind of works out because most of them are like
workout or like hiking clothes but I'm just sometimes I see my dad step out in these these outfits
of just like crazy vibrant colors and I'm like no you know like I'm not trying to be dressed like
that because sometimes they'll sometimes they'll be like they'll send a photo they're like oh
I was shopping and I saw this like do you want it and it's like some bright like pink shit
and I'm like mmm thank you for thinking about me really but I don't think I want that you know
you're like I appreciate the gesture yeah I guess it's like we have the privilege of growing up in
this much more stable situation so we're able to be like oh yeah like I can be a little bit more
picky and choosy with what I want to buy versus like this is a great deal I will focus on the
great deals only not to say like I'm not gonna pass up a great deal right but like ultimately it's
kind of like oh I really want this so maybe I'll wait for this to go on sale versus like these
are on sale I'll pick out of these yeah I think that's like the perfect way to put it actually
and honestly now that I'm thinking about it I'm like damn maybe the way I had initially
ordered it was a little bit giving spoiled fat because I feel like my parents do not
hesitate to spend any expense on me but they will do the like bargain hunting for themselves so
I'm like oh my god single tier like is this what happens when you're a parent where you're like
I don't want the there's like this famous phrase and create that's like where once you're a
parent you're like oh it's okay child like you can have all my money I can survive off of
$10 this week oh my god that is probably definitely the five but maybe not when the kids growing up
because the crazy growth spurts you're like no you're getting like the cheapest shit for now
until you're done growing the truth do it the other day I was like cleaning out some old shit
for my closet and since my parents moved a bunch like I felt like a lot of the like childhood
relics I kind of was storing in the US so I was sifting through a bunch of them and one of them
was this like really old north face jacket I had begged my parents to buy it for me when I was a
freshman so that was 2010 or 2011 so this jacket is already like almost a teenager right or it
is a teenager actually I was like yeah I should probably donate this but I just couldn't let go of it
because I was like I remember back in the day this was like it was expensive to spend like a hundred
dollars on a jacket and I had like begged my parents that I could wear this for a lifetime I just
couldn't bring myself to toss it so I think I'm gonna keep it as like a memory item like I used to
wear every single fucking day in high school so it was like oh that's going back then I don't know
it's just like things like that I feel like really stick with me yeah does it fit you still it's like
slightly tight so I'm gonna have to go on a couple diets but it'll hang well in the closet
for until I'm there maybe your parents knew when they bought it that like it wasn't going to be a
lifetime item but they were I'm sure they were very happy to see you wear it so much when you did
get it though yeah that's true now it's an antique item yeah to think it's a teenager now dude I know
that got me thinking just about how I probably begged my parents to buy you know specific
clothing items or like random items and I think I definitely pulled that line to like I could use
this for the rest of my life and maybe in their mind it's like no she isn't going to but I guess
she's very desperate for it so I guess I'll cave this time damn that's true I mean I'm sure they've
seen it all at that point yeah I guess kind of along the lines of parenthood I think having a family
and the concept of family has also evolved across multiple generations so do you think the idea
of a family and the idea of parenthood has changed from our parents generation to ours um I feel
like having kids is such a given in my parents generation and previous generations it's like
such a it's not even a question it's like this is just a part of life like you get married and have
kids but I guess like in our generation more and more people are starting to think about whether
they even want to have kids right whether that's something you know they want in their lives
but I feel like at the same time some people experience pressure from their parents like oh can't
wait till I have that grand kid and then we're like um I don't know if I want to have kids yeah I
feel like it's a very common conversation topic actually especially like for girl talks or
talks with our girlfriends right it's like I definitely think I've heard it a lot where people
are like I'm not sure if I want to have kids if I do it's like maybe one maximum two versus I know
in our parents generation I feel like two was almost the standard back then I don't know yeah I feel
like there's a good amount of people who have at least one sibling and I also wonder maybe it's
because when people immigrated out of China because one kid policy was going on back then they're like
hey we're in America we might as well have two children they're like well we moved all the way here
yeah it's like the one child policy is it's not out here so you know I mean I think even when
it was my parents generation like both of my parents have at least three siblings my mom is four
and I feel like for them having one kid or two was already pairing down the number significantly
like that's already like a huge reduction but honestly when the standard is two or one you can only
go down to zero or one from there true very very true the perception I have is that a lot of moms
were relatively willing to just give up their career and you know have a kid and take care of
that kid because a lot of immigrant families aren't rich so it's pretty hard to get a nanny
and so it was kind of the norm I guess or maybe very accepted slash natural for the man to become
the breadwinner and then the woman becomes the child care and nowadays like in our generation a
lot more people want to have a career so I feel like that is also maybe a difference because it's
like oh shoot if I have a kid then you know that's like almost a half a year of leave from my career
and then I don't know like how that'll affect my career path and all of that kind of stuff so I
feel like that's probably another factor yeah I think like there's probably a lot of stuff that
goes into this attitude change for sure so like I wonder now in the US is it even possible to raise
a kid comfortably like financially when you don't have a double income stream or something like I
know back in the day things like homes were significantly more affordable like still not cheap right
but just not like the one million dollar plus colossal yeah cost that it is now so then I feel like
just the logistics have changed a ton and yeah I feel like in my parents' generation being a
stand-home mom was super common but I'm not sure how common it is anymore and then on top of that
you add in the whole like complication of immigration where you know if I would have a kid now
there's family here that could kind of help with the child rearing but for my parents
unless my grandma was here visiting it was truly like them to who had to take care of me or in
state care which is another added expense so I can't imagine how it was for them back then
yeah really good point dude actually my brother who was born first um why'd you really
eyes no reason but when he was born I think both by parents were still in school so they were like oh
it's gonna be like really difficult to raise him so they actually sent him back to China
wow to live with my grandparents for I think it was about a year maybe two some amount of time
between a year and two years and then I think my dad finished school so then they brought my
brother back because it was like okay now someone can work and we can actually support this child
but yeah I guess like that's what my parents managed to do but I know like sometimes people will
straight up just immigrate their parents too like the you know the grandparents over to the US
too and then they just live with the family and then some of these kids grow up like essentially
getting raised by their grandparents because their parents had to go out and work to support the
family yeah I think that's probably pretty similar to what James says childhood was like
where his grandma was definitely a huge factor in like helping raise him while his parents were
both working so yeah I feel like that's also another option as well but you're right like luckily
now that you know we're already immigrated here it's a little easier to be able to reach out to
family and be like hey can you babysit this weekend or something like that right dude and I've
been having some crazy thoughts lately like I saw that other day some vague tick talk about how
equinox had some sort of daycare system or like some sort of play area for the kids while the
parents worked out and I was like is this free day care like should I just get it equinox membership
like all I see that's how they get you yeah even now getting a babysitter is not cheap especially if
they're working during the work days when the parents are at work I feel like if anything now
businesses booming for these caretakers true also speaking of you know having kids and working jobs
I feel like careers in itself is also another area where there's a difference generationally
you know kind of time back to the idea of like willingness to take a risk slash change things up
this is where I see myself being a little more willing to take a risk because for my parents
they're very focused on stability so they're like you should become a software engineer because I
know you'll be able to get a job there's a lot of those jobs in the Bay Area and it's a pretty
well-paying job as well so you know you'll be able to support yourself I was like no I'm gonna go
major in econ and they're like what does that even mean and I was like I don't know but I'll
figure it out you know so I think definitely in that area and then also I've mentioned in the podcast
before where I had like a contractor job for a while so at first when I wanted to take that job my
parents were like no like this is a contractor job you won't have like held insurance to the level
of you know full-time employees and you won't have the same benefits also there's a time limit you
know you can be a contractor for a maximum of two years for this specific company and I was like
no I think it'll be okay like I think I want to take this risk because I could potentially get
a full-time job after and they're like I don't know like this seems too risky like I don't understand
but you know if it ended up working out well but I could totally see that difference there they're
just like no what is this please no but I was like I think it'll be okay yeah I feel like also
parents are very into jobs where you can lock in and stay for like 10 plus years like I feel like
that generation really values like long-term stability sort of in the bay at least I know for a
while people were saying oh the best way to increase your salary is to job hop every one to two years
and I said that at the dinner table once to my parents um pretty early on in my career and I was
like yeah people nowadays have been saying you stay for a maximum of two years because otherwise
you get pigeoned hold into the salary that you were hired at and they were like but how are you
gonna learn and grow and I was like well I think when people hopped jobs you kind of get like a
promotion and they were like I don't think that makes any sense like how would you learn anything
and I was like I don't know that's what all the young people are saying and I feel like that's
truly like the difference where back then like your company and your work was a lot more serious
and I'm not saying that I don't find my work serious but I think our generation has kind of
sensed or like realized that companies aren't like your friend right like HR isn't your friend
companies are prioritizing like shareholders above the employees a lot of the times so then
I don't think it's like personally offensive for employees to prioritize themselves over the
company but I think that's just totally different attitudes from our parents.
Mm-hmm all about that loyalty and stability.
But yeah I feel like it's just so interesting once I learned about this concept of you know
people experiencing change look for stability and people experiencing stability look for change
and I feel like super applicable for that generational gap between us and our parents and
super relatable for just you know people who are going through different things and you so
after learning about that concept I was mind blown and I really felt like I gained better
perspective. It was really fun discussing how this concept plays in with our generational gap
and for our listeners out there if you have any thoughts on the different outlooks you have
compared to your parents or just people in different generations feel free to share with us you
can always find us on social media at eat your crust pod and we also have email eatyourcrustpod
at gmail.com and if you'd like to catch our other episodes then don't forget to follow us on
Spotify Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts you upload new episodes every Wednesday
morning and as always we'll put up a little Spotify Q&A so don't miss that. Thanks for listening
and don't forget to eat your crust.
