Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Crust podcast. I'm Jisoo.
I'm Crystal.
And I'm Michelle.
Welcome back, Michelle, a familiar voice of the podcast. The last episode Michelle is on was
episode 201, Relationship Labels, where we talked about domestic partnerships, marriage,
all of those labels, very fun episode. But today we brought Michelle on to talk about
building community slash finding community. I think the Bay Area is very suburb heavy,
so sometimes it can be difficult to find community in more sparse areas like this.
And Michelle has been doing some pretty cool like community building events,
so we thought it'd be really fun to chat more about that.
Yeah, so I guess to kind of kick start the episode today, let's talk about community that
we feel in this current day. Do you feel like right now your life is full of community vibes?
I love the term community vibes.
Yeah, I love it. Like, it's a good way to frame it. Like, I'm feeling community vibes
in my life. How about you guys?
I think in terms of friendship, yes, there is almost like a micro communities within the
friend groups I have of, you know, people who like to do certain things. These groups of people like
to play pickleball. These groups of people like to watch movies. But in terms of community around me
that aren't just friends who have been friends for many years, I don't really have that.
It's funny that you say that because I think you specifically, Crystal, are a great community
builder. With this podcast, you have a community, right?
That's true, actually.
You're a Christ community. We have I remember I was there for the five year celebration.
When I was also thinking about it, Crystal, like you're planning your high school reunion.
That is a huge community you're a part of.
That's true.
So I think you're great at bringing people together.
I guess because I see it almost differently, because it's like people that I already know,
and then building that community is a little different from like putting myself out into
a community of strangers, if that makes sense.
I think that's kind of similar to how I see it too. So for example, hanging out with friends
that I've known since college or high school or whenever on the weekend is very social and fun,
but I don't necessarily see it like I'm building a community.
But if I were to go to my local park, play pickleball and say I know like a bunch of
the people who are there, I might feel like yeah, this is a big sense of community because
maybe I think that community is more location based or like it happens to you versus
friendships and existing connections are something that I keep building upon
rather than like creating from scratch.
Location is interesting because I didn't even think about like my neighbors really or like
where I live because I have no community in this condo building I live in.
I don't talk to my neighbors.
We don't know each other.
We stay out of each other's way.
They all sleep at like 10pm.
I feel like building community with your neighbors is low key hard.
I have one neighbor and my apartment situation is kind of like a duplex.
I have like one neighbor I literally share a wall with.
And when they moved in, I just could not bring myself to introduce myself and say hi.
And we've been neighbors for a couple months now.
We've never interacted at all.
Yeah, no, same.
I don't know what it is about neighbors.
It's intimidating.
But I can see like the distinction that you guys are getting at like, oh, like friends feel easy.
Feels natural.
It's people we've known before.
It's easy to build upon those relationships versus like strangers or just by proximity
where the history isn't there.
That's harder.
But I think you did have a good point, Michelle.
I think there is a sense of community when you bring different friend groups together.
For example, when you mentioned our like fifth year anniversary for the podcast,
I think it was really cool to just stand there and kind of look and be like, wow,
all these people have now one common like shared thread among them,
even though a lot of them might not even know each other at all.
Yes, totally.
Because I met people at that party.
And yeah, like, it was fun to be like, what episode were you on?
Or like, how do you know Jisoo?
And how do you know Crystal?
You guys are definitely building a community.
So Michelle, you did mention that right now you're feeling strong community vibes.
I feel like myself and Crystal maybe we're not quite to that extent yet.
But I'm really curious to hear what kind of things that are happening in your life
that bring the most community vibes.
I think it helps to live in the city like in SF,
where I feel like there's like a strong sense of SF pride.
Like, you know how the media says things about the city that are usually really negative
about crime about homelessness, and I see it but like the people in SF also,
including me, really love it here and we like see the beauty in the city.
I don't know if this is like a good community to mention, but like I'm in r slash SF
SF San Francisco loves the community there, not that I'm active, I just lurk.
It's full of positive stuff most of the time like about how beautiful our city is
and how much we love it, the events that are going on.
I try to keep up with fun community based events that are happening in the city and
I try my best to make it out.
The city is one that I really feel part of.
I like that you brought up Reddit because I do think there is some value in like online communities.
I love to read subreddits after I watch TV show episodes.
And that's kind of community.
You're like, oh my god, these people are thinking the same thing as me.
Although I'm also just a lurker.
Yes.
Yeah, I can't be posting.
Maybe a lot of it is just like we have these shared experiences with people around us.
And that's not always super common or like easy to find.
So I also too feel like almost like a sense of home when I see people who have watched the same
thing as me or live in a similar place and care about it as much as I do.
So that is probably huge.
And I don't know, it's kind of interesting.
I used to live in San Francisco, but that was during peak COVID times.
So it wasn't very community feeling.
Like I remember Crystal and I would joke.
I would just look into people's apartments and that was like community building for me
because I'd be like, you exist too.
But no, not look.
Like guys, leave your lights on after dark.
But now I live in a kind of a smaller city.
That's very suburban.
And I also feel a little bit of a community vibe here too.
So I guess even if I'm not in like a very metro area,
I still feel like being in a slightly smaller neighborhood,
I can see other people also care about this community.
Yeah, I've done things in SF that I wouldn't have done back in my hometown.
Like I participated in like city cleanups, no more vests,
and like picked up trash in our neighborhood.
And that was really sweet.
A few parks just opened near me and they'll have events.
Like they'll have like a flea market.
We're like, oh, fuck you guys.
I just joined a run club.
Oh my God.
Like for this part of the city.
Yeah, that's, I mean, I haven't really made friends yet,
but it is a great place to make friends and like date apparently.
But like, that's just really fun too.
People all over the city come just to run five miles together
and everyone's really nice and welcoming and open.
Oh my God.
I've also heard that run clubs are like the new way to date.
Yeah, like it makes so much sense.
You have something in common where maybe you don't love,
I don't love running, but I'm willing to run at that time and moment with 200 other people.
200 community.
That's huge.
Wait, so walk us through like a running club meeting.
Have you attended one yet?
Yes, we meet up at the baseball stadium.
There's music playing.
We do warmups together, you know, like jumping and stretching and stuff.
And then they're just like, all right, let's go.
And then after every mile, we stop at a park and we do more exercises together.
But the entire time, people have like speakers on their backs, like playing music.
That's cool.
And like on the way, you go at your own pace and they're kind of like,
no one gets left behind, but sometimes I wish they would leave me behind.
Oh, but like, yeah, so there's time to talk and stuff after every mile.
I see.
So it's like you pause at each park so that the like slower crowd can catch up to the faster crowd.
And then you like start the next mile or whatever together.
Yeah.
And at the end, there's a huge high five train.
The longest high five tunnels I've ever walked through.
And then usually they go to a bar.
Have I been?
No, but but you're like, hey, guys, I gotta run.
Yeah, I gotta go back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, that's a great, I felt a great sense of community doing that.
Like seeing the different parts of the city while also being out of breath with my fellow
runners.
I actually feel like sports or just any sort of exercise in general is very community building
because I went to core power yoga a little bit in San Francisco and a little bit where I'm living now.
And the community vibes, they're strong.
I don't even know why I don't even have to talk to the people around me,
but I'm just like, dude, we're all here doing the same thing.
Like this is fucking insane.
Yeah, or my husband plays volleyball sometimes.
And these are like huge organized tournaments with like hundreds of people,
some people in like matching shirts and stuff.
And I'm like, this is this is us.
Like we're out here.
Speaking of sports like I Andy made me join frisbee league with him.
So have I played frisbee before?
No, but I joined and I didn't grow up playing group sports team sports.
But I think frisbee is like the perfect one to start on because everyone is super friendly.
And they were willing to teach me.
And ultimate is really cheesy in the way that it's all about the spirit of the game,
quote unquote, the spirit of the game.
And for every game, we have a spirit winner on each team.
You pick a spirit winner and you chant to the other team.
You like come up with a chant to encourage the other team win or lose.
So that I felt like very it was very welcoming and open despite being a newbie.
That's nice.
I think that's also a good one because ultimate frisbee isn't really like a high school sport,
at least in the Bay from our experiences.
So I feel like everyone is slightly on more even footing.
Oh, Crystal, these people have been playing.
Okay, we began this struggle and they'd be like, everybody tell us how much experience
you have playing frisbee.
And people would be like, I've been playing for 30 years.
Oh my god.
And I feel like it gets to me.
I'd be like, I've been playing since September.
There's oldies who've been playing their entire lives.
So it was harder, obviously, to break into that community, even though everyone was
really friendly.
But it's like, these are dedicated people who have been playing forever.
Okay, nevermind then.
I mean, Andy had only played since college, but even he was really good.
Okay, nevermind about being on the same level.
But I do think rec sports and like rec leagues are definitely super fun.
I did one in New York once.
It was like beach volleyball.
And I think because it's a team sport, whether or not you win or lose, you can literally see
you and your friends improving, even on that exact game day.
And then everyone's just so much more hyped up after the game ends.
It's like, oh my god, hey guys, if we just put in like one hour of practice,
we could annihilate everyone in this league.
And then we're like, dude, yeah, like we should totally meet up over the over the week and like
practice so we can win next week.
Or if we win the game, it's just like, oh my god, like we improved so much.
Look at us go.
And I feel like that is just like a really great feeling that makes everyone feel connected.
Totally doing sports with your friends, like improving and like getting sweaty.
Yeah, that's that's good.
I wish I could do more of that.
Active sports things.
I feel like besides Frisbee, I did like a volleyball league once
without knowing the rules of volleyball.
Yeah, that was tough.
That's true.
I think ultimately, sports are still very difficult.
So like, you don't feel like it, no need to force yourself into like rec league.
Or, you know, like, I guess speaking of sports, like fan bases are huge communities, right?
Eric, my partner, he and his friends are all warriors fans.
They're all 49er fans.
I just can't get into that community.
That's just not the community for me, unfortunately.
But I'm like, I seeing that I, I really admire it.
I wish I could play into it, but I just can't.
I feel like there's also maybe non sports space things that build a big sense of community.
So going to like a pottery studio, for example, I heard feels very community building.
Even though it's not really like a huge group activity,
like you're still all working on your own projects, but maybe similar to yoga.
It's like the fact that we're all at this one space at the same time is kind of meaningful.
And I have to imagine like other art studios or maybe like music sessions,
jamming sessions, like that stuff would also be very beneficial.
Yeah, I can speak to the clay studio aspect.
I only started ceramics like a year and a half ago.
And I'm still not good at all.
But putting in the hours and meeting people, because I think the shared understanding with
ceramics among all people who do it at the studio is that it's really hard.
And it takes a lot of time.
Things are never going to go the way you expect it to be.
So I think that mutual understanding amongst everyone that we're all working
like on this art form that is incredibly unpredictable and not in our hands at all.
It's nice.
Somehow, like just knowing that all of us are putting our butts into tears,
something that might explode in the kiln.
It's really good.
I am not like fully into the clay community right now.
But I've made friends with the clay studio owner.
And that's been nice.
And I have made some a few friends through classes.
I keep taking classes.
So that consistency like gets me in and seeing the same people and it helps a lot.
Oh, also one thing that I guess we didn't mention here, but I think also builds community is
church or like religious organizations.
And that just makes me think maybe all of this, like you said, Michelle is just like,
we're all in this together, trying to achieve some sort of common goal or
acknowledging that there's some sort of skills that we're trying to build,
like something that brings us together that we can have in common
with people who are virtually strangers right until you meet them in the community.
Yeah, I've never been religious myself.
But I've always really admired that about religion.
Like I'll have friends who move to different cities.
But every city they go to, even though they go there without knowing anyone,
they know that they can go to church there, they'll find a church there,
and they'll immediately have a community that will accept them.
Dude, it's a cheat code.
Seriously.
You're so right.
You're like, I know these people will accept me,
no matter where I go.
Like, were you guys in, not that this is similar to religion,
but like sororities or like frats or clubs in high school or college
built your biggest communities?
Honestly, yeah, I was in a quote unquote professional fraternity in college.
I met some people who I probably would have never met otherwise,
and they're like still good friends.
So I feel like it is definitely a nice thread to keep.
And I know like some people are super into it.
So then like even after college, they're like, oh my God,
I was like, you know, from this chapter or from this school of this sorority
or fraternity or whatever.
And then people literally bond over that.
They're like, dude, like I was from this branch or whatever.
Yeah, I mean, I was in some high school clubs.
I think high school clubs are a little bit different
because it's very much like we're all trying to get into college.
So maybe the common goal is not necessarily as uniting,
but still, I think you're right.
Like you do just get to meet so many people and that is such a huge perk.
In high school, like being in ASB was huge for me,
like being in the leadership group.
Like that's where I made like some of my closest friends
because we were just planning dances and putting on rallies and stuff.
And that was really bonding.
In college, I wish I had a tighter community.
It was harder for me going out of state and stuff.
So it was kind of really tough in the beginning to like find my place.
I feel like when I first got to school to this day,
we're thinking about I don't think I really found my like one place in college,
unfortunately, where I made like my deepest closest connections.
But you made it here.
Yeah, it's okay. I'm here.
But we out here.
Yeah, but we out here and you know, if I didn't find it in college,
I'm building myself here in the real life.
Yeah, actually, I had kind of like a similar experience in college
where I really was kind of like craving that like go to network or community.
And I think looking back, that kind of sets you up for like more community building.
In the future, because I feel like if you know socializing or like networking or like
having that community always comes very easily, it's not necessarily something that you like chase
or it may not even be something where you know how to build it up in like a constructive way.
But when you do have those feelings of like isolation or anything like that,
I feel like it sets you up to be like a good community leader almost.
Yeah, that's a really great point.
I think yeah, in college, since I was trying really hard to find it, you're right.
It made me like create a bit more, I guess.
And now in my adult life, I have a lot more control over things.
And I'm like more real as an established as a human.
It's easier now for sure.
I can be a leader in my own community, whatever.
Yeah, I think also as we're getting older and yeah, becoming like more established
and comfortable in our skin, we start to realize the untapped potential of some of our like
hobbies or interests and how that can turn into some sort of community building
or just like joining community.
I think like I've even found some communities at work.
If your company is pretty big, groups naturally form where people are like,
hey, we're interested in basketball.
Let's play pickup basketball every like Tuesday during our lunch hour.
There's just like so many random things.
I think like at my work, there's like a group of Porsche enthusiasts.
So like, I know, right?
Or like photography people or even wine and spirits and stuff like that.
And I think it's pretty cool because you don't always get to see every organization
within your company, especially if it's a big one.
So then through these like little niche groups, you can meet a lot of new people.
That's cool.
I wish I worked for a pretty big company and they don't,
people are not cool like that.
You should look through like your Slack channels.
Dude, we're not on Slack.
We're on Teams.
That's what makes it hard.
Teams is so lame.
Yeah.
It's because like we have Google groups, so you can literally just like search a keyword.
And then sometimes these groups will pop up and you're like,
oh, actually there is a group for this.
I'm jealous.
Need something like that where I work.
Well, I guess pivoting from things that do feel very community building.
Do you guys think that there are things that detract from a sense of community?
When I was thinking about this question, I was talking to Eric.
We got to like our dorms.
He went to another school.
He went to Ohio State.
I went to Illinois.
The first time he visited me, he was like, your dorm is so boring.
I was like, oh, I was like, yeah, you're right.
I was in substance free housing.
And like, he was like, everyone's doors are closed.
Like, how do you make friends?
And I was like, and then like the guys and girls are separated on each floor.
And like, I realized my dorm is pretty lame.
I guess people just, if you're a freshman and you're living a dorm, you really have to lean
into like the keeping your door open and greeting people and really putting yourself out there.
And maybe that's one of the reasons why like I didn't have a great start
in finding my community in college because your dorm where you live, I was not finding it there.
At least in the beginning, because when I visited Eric's dorm, I was like, oh,
I see how other dorms are.
Like everyone stops in.
Everyone just barges in chats, invites you to things.
And that was not happening where I was.
That's a really good point, Michelle.
And I'm not going to lie.
I am also the door closed kind of person.
No, it was painfully obvious one time when like,
I stepped out of my dorm and I realized that like everyone else was kind of friends in my dorm,
but like I was not friends with them.
They were friendly to me, but I just did not like hang out with them.
I was just too like shy or like put forth the effort as well to like talk to them.
I just always kept my door closed.
I was in a single, I was left to my own devices, which is sometimes dangerous because as my friends
have said, it's just very possible for me to like disappear in that case.
And that's kind of exactly what happened.
Yeah, I totally agree with the whole like doors being closed,
whether that's metaphorically or like physically.
Yeah, I think to be open to community building, you have to like really lean into it and like
be super open-minded.
Just be overly enthusiastic, I think, about the thing that connects you all to other people.
I'm also thinking even if there is like a local thing that happens for, I don't know,
like fruit enthusiasts or something, but then they're like super exclusive and they're just
like, yeah, you can't join us unless like you go through this complicated application process,
then it would be very community detracting.
Wait, fruit enthusiast?
That's like the funniest example ever.
Love that.
But I think like both of you guys said, sometimes when I think back on moments where I really
wanted that sense of community but wasn't able to get it, I feel like a lot of it came from
internally, where maybe I wasn't ready to feel vulnerable and I just wanted to stay
feeling comfortable, which is essentially not putting yourself out there.
I think a lot of that comes from like fear of rejection sometimes,
where it's like a process.
Like you really have to be like okay to show that you are excited and eager and maybe even
more excited and eager than other people out there to like find new friends or build that
sense of community, which can definitely be scary.
So I kind of feel like you usually get what you put out there and hopefully that's more
encouraging and less discouraging because if you put in the work, it is probably a lot easier to
actually find friends or build community.
Yeah, I totally agree.
You really have to push yourself.
I've been hosting some events here and there.
And dude, it's really hard.
Like I'm a really extroverted person.
I really like being around people.
But to have to play host to many strangers is exhausting.
I get super anxious, even though I love being around people and meeting new people.
I am the nights before these events that I host, I am so anxiety ridden.
And for what?
Like everyone just comes and has a good time.
Like I don't, I'm just planning it.
They just show up and enjoy themselves.
But yeah, you really have to, it's like me putting on like 200% in order to play host.
And I'm sure there's like the whole, all the worries about like, will anyone show up?
Will they have fun?
Will they notice all the things that I did for them, that kind of stuff?
Yes.
And the last event I did, there were actually like too many people,
which is a great problem to have, but it was also like really scary.
I hosted a collage club and pottery painting night at my clay studio.
It's mostly free.
And when people see free and they see other people going,
the numbers just keep climbing and climbing.
The studio was not a big one.
So about a hundred people RSVP.
Wow.
There was, there was no, the hundred people cannot fit in the space, you guys.
But yeah, so that was hard.
And at some points, like people were on the floor to like collage and paint stuff with their friends.
And like, I was scrambling to move things aside so people would have space.
It all ended up working out.
But yeah, sometimes the cost of building community is a little bit of your sanity.
So I guess what inspired you to throw and host these big community events?
Yeah, it was actually, I had two friends.
They met on TikTok because both of them were commenting saying that SF needs some sort of like
collage community for anyone to come to.
Both of them happened to be hoarders.
My friends Nicole and Zai.
They found free community spaces at sports basement here in the city.
You can use their warehouses to host free events.
And then when they first started it, it was like,
they just laid out all their materials and just invited people to come.
They said, no one showed up the first one as people started showing up.
So this is totally without me, but as people started showing up,
I started getting popular and like 20 people, 30 people.
And that's when I started coming.
And since I showed so much enthusiasm, they were like, dude, Michelle,
why don't you just help us host?
So I started helping out with them.
So Nicole and Zai do it monthly at sports basement.
And then I just helped them out with marketing, creating flyers,
finding different spaces to host in social media.
It wasn't me who started college club, but I'm happy to take it where it has been going.
Well, that's so cool.
I feel like it takes a lot of courage and honestly,
a lot of like dedication and your personal time to like even just help out,
let alone throw and host these events.
So I think that's very cool.
I think it's common for people to complain about not feeling a sense of community where they live,
but way less common for them to actually do stuff about it.
Myself included, I would.
Yeah, I think it would be hard for me to like throw stuff.
So I admire that a lot.
Yeah, they really just did this on their own accord.
Like Nicole buys the glue sticks and scissors herself to let people come and enjoy it for free
because she was just they just thought SF needed kind of like a screen list.
Something to do with your hands, just like bring child like creativity back.
Into people's lives, it's mostly girlies.
You know, it's very girl coded for college club and like pottery painting and stuff.
And that's why I've been trying to invite more guys because let's make college club
the next run club, you know, for people to meet.
Yeah, I mean, like guys can make pottery too.
And guys can stick pictures on paper.
And it seems way easier to talk doing collaging than like running.
Totally.
No, it's so chill.
Yeah, I've been trying to encourage a lot more guys to come.
Like if you change the name from collaging to like vision board creation,
would that make more guys chill?
You are so right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good idea, Crystal.
But I love that they started it and despite like the first time
having no one come, they still continued and tried.
And now it's like a huge thing.
Yeah, people come monthly.
We have repeat people.
I think that's a big part of it too is like consistency, right?
Like having it every month.
Having people keep coming back and seeing the same faces and names again,
where you really start to meet people and like look forward to seeing people there is huge.
That's a good point.
Because I feel like there are a decent number of like one off things or events that happen
where I feel like you go to it, you're like, oh, that was so cool.
And that's like nothing ever happens ever again.
So I can see how like having something consistently happen,
like something you could put recurring on your calendar could actually build
maybe like longer term relationships rather than just like a one off space for you to meet people.
Yeah, absolutely.
Question for you.
Have you ever been to like a not so good event?
So maybe you went to an event and it was supposed to be community building,
but it didn't have the results that maybe you were looking for.
The first thing that comes to mind is like going back to college again,
when I was trying my fucking hardest to like make friends,
was going to like 10 different club meetings in a week.
Not like anything specifically about but I just remember going to someone being like,
this ain't it.
I don't remember if it was like specifically like not well organized,
or maybe, I don't know, the people, maybe, you know, sometimes some people aren't your people.
And I remember like trying to force it being part of this club.
After a few times, I was like, I'm not getting anything out of the relationships here.
I'm not getting out of anything out of the events.
Yeah, I don't know.
I just remember trying to force it in college when I was no one trying to figure out who I was.
I feel like I have some memories of going to really awkward like apartment building events
where it was like, oh, like, guys, we'll have free food.
Come to the common area and get a donut and meet your neighbors.
And I remember we went and then it was just like, I don't know,
maybe something about like it being an apartment building thing or
something about like the main draw being the free donuts or whatever.
But I remember we grabbed donuts, stood there for like a minute.
And then it was so awkward.
We just like left.
Hmm.
You know what?
I think I can relate to that because I think there was an event that was supposed to be like
networking or something.
And the hosts did try.
I will give them that.
But I think the timing was kind of bad.
It was like towards the end of the day, people were tired.
And then they're like, hey, we have free drinks and food.
And people just kind of went and grabbed the food, got some drinks.
And then they're like, I'm tired.
Like, I don't really want to do these networking activities.
I'm just going to leave.
So it was like half and half, you know, half of the people were ready and happy to participate.
And then a good half were also kind of like, um, I think I'm going to go now.
I've come for the free stuff and that's all I needed.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Like to be fully immersed, you have to be all in and like really is mostly just like on.
We're just not there.
We're just there for the free food.
That reminds me of some, some club meetings as well.
Some clubs would be like, we're going to have free food.
Come join our club.
And then it was just not it.
Yeah.
So maybe the free stuff is a trap.
I think maybe sometimes if the free stuff is like a little too good, if the free stuff is
way better than what your event content is, then people will come for the food or,
you know, whatever free stuff it is.
Look around and be like, yeah, I'm out of here.
But if it's like similar level, then maybe they'll be enticed by the free stuff.
And then they'll be like, Oh, this looks interesting.
Like, you know, there's a balance.
You have to offer like popcorn or something, but not don't know.
Yeah.
There's a line.
Yeah, exactly.
Or maybe like the free stuff has to be more like tied in with the event itself.
You know, like if it's free popcorn, we're watching a movie or something, right?
That's the real thought behind it.
I can tell when it's fake.
Like, I mean, so Michelle, now you are someone who does have a bigger helping hand or like
maybe a bigger, I don't want to say responsibility, but probably a little bit of like ownership,
right in trying to have these events that improve the community around you.
Do you feel like you have any insights that you've kind of encountered working with your
friends and seeing what works?
What doesn't?
Yeah, there's one like personal insight that I came to it's I get very anxious about these
because they're like my baby and you feel like you said a huge sense of responsibility hosting.
I'm like, maybe I can turn this into some sort of career path for myself.
Step away from graphic design.
And I don't know, I haven't figured it out at all.
It's just been a thought in my head that I've been sharing.
But something about working with small businesses and planning events and marketing them on social
media, making content, working with small business owners and just seeing people enjoying the event
itself is so fulfilling.
And I would love if I could take it to the next level.
Like all this is done for free.
And it's obviously done with the help of my friends who have the supplies for clodging.
But if there's a way to monetize it,
if there's a way to somehow make a living off of it, that'd be sick.
I think that would be really, really fulfilling and meaningful to just plan events and be there.
Yeah, that makes sense right now.
It's like unpaid labor kind of paid and like friendship.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's still like so meaningful.
But obviously, it takes a lot of time.
And if I could just like, step away from my day job to be able to do this.
You're like begging for a reason.
I really am.
I would love that if this could get if this gets bigger and bigger, like for me to just do it.
Yeah.
And I guess another insight, it's like you really have to show up.
And really, like we like we talked about in the beginning, like,
and really put yourself out there to talk to people.
I've talked to a lot of people just through like the creative spaces and SF or through
Instagram or something.
There's a lot of opportunity when I talk to and meet new people.
And I just haven't acted on all those opportunities yet because it takes a lot
of time and effort, dedication, and brain space and everything that I don't have because
of being an adult.
There's like a lot of opportunities out there to build community.
And I just need to take them.
I just need to reach out to them.
And kind of tying it back to what we just talked about, like in terms of
detracting from communities, I feel like if you're not fully invested
and people can like see through your facade, then that also detracts from,
you know, the community vibe.
If people are like, Hey, I wanted to come here to talk about collaging and pottery,
but clearly the host doesn't give a shit, then like, why would they come back?
Mm hmm.
And that's where it takes all the energy out of me is being.
Usually a lot of these events I host are like around dinner time.
And I'm not eating dinner because I am locked in.
I have to like, I don't know.
I'm a really angry person as well.
So to have to like, to suppress my angry demon and be like, Hi, welcome.
Like, what are you doing today?
Are you doing a pottery and you want to collage?
Well, things are here and you can do this.
And then I have to answer questions and be like, again, like I said, play
really enthusiastic host is hard, but it gets people in.
Dude, maybe the move is to the next step is make it into a potluck.
Everyone needs to bring their dish.
Totally true.
Me, Nicole, and I have been brainstorming a ton about like different themes we can do
for the Lodge Club.
Like next month is October.
Maybe we can do like a costume swap or something.
Maybe we can do like a puzzle swap.
A clothing swap, a lot of swaps, but just like have more themes.
A dinner swap.
Yes.
Potluck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Food swap.
Yeah, stuff like that.
Just add more complexity to collage.
I think it's so funny because we kind of talked about how when you go to community
events, you kind of have to like show up and be on and sounds like it's doubly or
triply.
So for the host, there's something so like cute about imagining all these people in
one room, like so eager and happy and like trying to put themselves out there,
matching everyone's energy to like max.
Like that's so it's like heartwarming, you know?
I co-hosted with a friend of mine named Sharon.
She's a huge community builder too.
She hosts a lot of events and does really cool projects.
We did Maj and collage.
We paired with Sharon and the Majang project just to get the game out there and have more
people learn.
So we did collage on one side and the Majang games on the other side.
We had like five tables set up.
And yeah, it's like collage you can kind of sit by yourself and collage.
Majang, you have to play with three other people.
Yeah, the enthusiasm was amazing.
It was like strangers literally sitting down together to learn and play Majang.
And it was so cute.
Kind of reminds me of like those board game nights that I feel like a lot of board game
stores host as well.
Sometimes when I pop by one to grab a game like Tuesday nights or something at our local one,
there's like tables and tables of people playing whatever game they're playing.
And I'm always like, oh my god, we live in a real city.
Yeah, like this is like the people I live around.
Yeah, I think like we said, right, just take the opportunities and show up.
I mean, kind of tying back to like you talking about the Run Club.
I never knew Run Club was like that.
I always thought that you just show up, run whatever miles you finish, and then you go
home.
So I was like, dude, what's the deal with Run Club?
How are people even dating?
Are they just like huffing and puffing trying to talk while they're running?
But the way you described it, I'm like, oh, okay, I can totally see now how that is
community building, meeting new people and like having fun, not just running.
Yeah, no, I don't enjoy running at all.
But I had a lot of fun these past few times.
And I like will look forward to it.
It's just not that I like again, I didn't meet anyone.
I don't remember anyone's names from Run Club.
But just the idea that we're all running together through beautiful parts of the city,
and then hanging out a little bit after is really, really nice.
I feel like a lot of this is very necessary to to feel like a real person, a part of a real
society, especially in like the online era, where sometimes I feel like, I don't know,
I spend an egregious amount of hours every day looking at a screen.
So just not doing that and seeing people around me who aren't necessarily like close friends,
is rewarding and getting a little bit like rare and rare unless you put in your own time.
So yes, a lot of it is about like building and feeling the community.
But I think a lot of it is really good for just ourselves as individuals too.
Okay, but I have a question for us, because I'm an introvert.
So like, if I were to go to an event, and I'm trying to meet new people,
and, you know, connect through some sort of common hobby,
but I feel like there's so many people, and maybe they all already know each other.
Like, what should I do?
Crystal, the thing is, you love to chat.
Crystal is a yapper.
Like, once you get Crystal on one topic, she can she can go off.
I've seen it happen multiple times.
So I know the initial like reach out is really hard.
But even though I find as an extrovert, I'm not even usually the one who reaches out at
makes the initial contact.
There are always more extroverted people, there's always a more extroverted person in the room.
Who will do the initial contact, and like do the bringing in of someone.
So I don't know if it's like, waiting or kind of wandering around until you find that
ultra extrovert to bring you in.
I don't know, Chris, I feel like once someone introduces you themselves to you,
like you can find a topic easily to connect on.
That's true.
I can yap.
I'm capable of it.
But you know, initial contact is hard.
But yeah, no, even same as an extrovert speaking, just wait for the more extroverted.
I guess the best scenario would be like the host themselves come over.
And they're like, oh my god, this poor introvert over here, that's no one.
Yeah, you're sure I think that's the biggest.
I know I mentioned that welcoming people and telling people to sign in on the sign in sheet
is my job.
But you're right, the hosting is actually like I flip around.
And I'm just like, you like fruit.
I heard some fruit talk right over here to like, yeah, you're exactly right.
It's like trying to engage everyone.
Yeah, that is the most honestly, exhausting part.
You're so right.
Host is so important in doing that.
I'm like imagining you with a mental map.
You're like, okay, like fruit talk is over here.
And like, fashion talk is down here.
You're like, okay, who do I move to this section?
And yeah, or am I using that person single?
I'm trying to match make to I'm working overtime, you guys.
Or I'm like, your collage looks reminiscent of this.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Totally.
Oh my god.
Sounds exhausting.
It is.
But also Jisoo loves to match make.
Jisoo me too.
Oh my gosh, we get together and match make all our single.
We should host like a singles night.
You and I can be host.
You guys should host like a speed dating night of all our single friends.
Eat your crust times collage club.
Eat your collage club.
EYCC singles night.
This is amazing.
But I guess going back to the question of like, as an introvert, how do you show up and talk?
As a shy extrovert, I feel like I also feel very similar things.
And I feel like a really easy go to one is like, you just have to look for either one,
someone who looks also shy and like chat them up like, Oh my god, isn't this awkward?
And like, you know, try to get into a conversation or go up to someone who's like holding something
or like doing something and be like, Oh, like, what is that?
So maybe to lessen the burden of the host a little bit, there's like
a little bit of self service options.
Yes, we need to take actions ourselves.
But honestly, this is like, very encouraging, I think.
It's very cool to know people who actually host these kinds of events too.
And sometimes I've been thinking about it.
But even in my neighborhood, sometimes people will put out like a box of lemons or something,
because they can't eat all the lemons on their tree.
So it'll say like, feel free to take some lemons.
And I'm like, yeah, even small stuff like that, that takes like,
very minimal effort can also feel community building.
It's so funny that you say that, because I have like, a bunch of stuff in my head that
I was going to bring downstairs to the lobby with a free sign, because I saw I've been
seeing other people doing it.
I mean, you're so right.
It does bring a sense of Oh, yeah, people live here.
Yeah, so then I feel like there's big stuff you can do and small stuff.
Totally.
You're right.
There's like minuscule things that we can put out there to let other humans know that we're alive
and breathing, all the way to, you know, the big things like hosting, and then maybe making a
career out of being a community builder.
But all are so appreciated, I feel like by fellow humans.
For sure.
And I think honestly, after COVID, we're still kind of like working our way back up to
making connections and finding our footing again with, you know, the community around us,
local events, and just feeling that connection.
So now I think is a really good time to start thinking about like putting yourself out there,
joining some sort of run club or rec league or whatever.
And I'm really glad we talked about this today.
I think it does feel very encouraging to hear about like the different events that you've
been hosting and attending, Michelle.
And I might just, you know, look up some run clubs myself after this episode.
Yeah, I would love that.
So thank you so much, Michelle, for joining us this week.
And for our listeners out there, if you have any thoughts on
fun local events or your experiences joining local events slash communities,
feel free to share with us.
We have Instagram, eatyourcrestpod, and we also have email, eatyourcrestpodatgmail.com.
And if you'd like to catch our other episodes, then don't forget to follow us on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
We upload new episodes every Wednesday morning.
Thanks for listening.
And don't forget to eat your crust.
