Hello and welcome back to Advice Session, a series here on Anything Goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything you want advice on, and I give you my unprofessional advice.
And today's topic is finding your career path.
I must say, my career path has been very unusual for obvious reasons.
Number one, I started very young.
I started on the career path that I'm still on at age 16, which is sort of unusual because most people get their first job at age 16 and then ultimately leave that career path completely.
My situation has been a bit different where I started at age 16 and stayed on the same path the entire time.
And then on top of that, my job is sort of being an online public figure, which is a very weird job that didn't even exist 20 or 30 years ago, maybe even 15 years ago.
I don't... Well, what year is it?
Okay. Yeah, I don't even think being an online public figure was a possible job.
Even 15 years ago. So it's new.
We're still learning about how long you can do it, how much potential is in it.
It's a very new world.
So my career path has been very unusual.
For that reason, I say, take my advice with a grain of salt.
My advice might either be really good as a result of my unusual career path or really bad as a result of my unusual career path.
We'll find out together, although I think we should all take all advice with a grain of salt at all times, regardless of various variables.
I think it's always good to take advice with a grain of salt.
But today, maybe take it with an extra large grain of salt, considering my unusual career path thus far.
But maybe my advice will be great.
We'll find out together.
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Somebody said, what to do when feeling like you've chosen the complete wrong career path.
I've experienced this myself.
And what I've noticed within myself is that the most challenging thing to accept when questioning one's career path is, does this mean I'm a failure?
Is this going to set me back years and years and years?
Is this going to destroy my life?
It's accepting the feeling of failure.
That's the hardest part about figuring out whether or not you've chosen the right career path is getting over the fact that if you determine that you have in fact chosen the wrong career path, that might mean that you're a failure.
I think my first piece of advice is to try to get over that feeling, to prove to yourself that choosing the wrong career path does not mean failing in your career overall.
We make bad decisions all the time, like making a bad decision, making a mistake is not what determines, like everybody does it in one area or another, including people who have insanely successful careers.
It's not about making a mistake.
It's not about making the wrong choice the first time.
It's about what you do next.
I really do believe that.
And some people might say, no, that's looking at things in a toxically positive way.
Sometimes that's not the case.
Sometimes making the wrong choice with your career path the first time is the downfall of one's career for the rest of their life.
I don't really know if I believe that.
I think that we can make a wrong choice, pivot and flourish.
I actually think that failure tends to come from realizing that you've made a mistake, realizing that you made the wrong choice and then not pivoting.
I feel like that's when failure tends to happen.
I feel like that's what failure is, is to sort of settle and not make a plan to change when you know that change is necessary.
I feel like it's a sign of a successful career path when you realize, huh, this isn't working.
I need to make some changes.
I feel like that's a green flag.
I feel like that's a good thing.
I would say my first piece of advice is to change your mindset on what pivoting your career means about you.
It does not mean that you're a failure.
It just means that it didn't work out the first time and that you want to try something else.
So I think eradicating all negative feelings about pivoting is really important because it allows you to be honest with yourself about whether it's working or not.
If you're living in a state where you believe that pivoting your career path means that you failed, then you're so much less likely to come to the conclusion that you need to pivot.
And sometimes that's a really important conclusion to come to.
And staying in something or continuing to work towards something that is ultimately not right for you is not leading you to a successful place.
Because I would argue that a successful career is, in my opinion, a career that supports you financially in a way that's comfortable, in a way that you're satisfied with.
Now, that looks different for everyone.
For some people, that's being incredibly wealthy.
Some people, I mean, obviously, nobody's like, I don't want money.
Like, nobody ever has ever said that.
Okay. But everybody's financial goal is a little bit different.
Like my dad, for example, he has far lower financial goals than my mom.
Okay. So growing up, it was very interesting because my dad was like, I just want to make enough money to live in the way that I'm living comfortably, which is nothing extravagant.
You know, my dad had no desire growing up to live extravagantly.
He doesn't care about that.
Whereas my mom, I think, wanted to live a bit more extravagantly.
She wanted to be able to go on fancy vacations.
She wanted to be able to go out and eat at fancy restaurants more often.
My mom just had a different idea of what financial success in career looks like.
And so I've seen firsthand how it varies from person to person.
But again, I think the first sort of sign of career success is feeling satisfied and comfortable with the income that you're making.
And then number two, I think balancing that with a high quality of life when possible.
So again, I saw this sort of differ in my parents.
My dad prioritized having more time off.
He was willing to sacrifice making less money to have more time off because that was something that was important to him.
Whereas my mom was willing to work more often and have less time off to make more money.
And that's a balance that she was willing to strike in order to reach her career goals.
So everybody's going to be different, right?
But I think it's about finding your own personal balance between income and quality of life.
And that's really what it comes down to, you know?
I mean, I think it also comes down to whether or not you want your passion to be your work or whether you want your passion to be something outside of work.
That's also a key element, but that's what I think a successful career is.
It's about analyzing all of these different qualities of a career and figuring out what is important to you.
And you might realize five, 10 years into your career that the career path that you've chosen is not meeting those requirements.
For example, you might be making a comfortable living, but your quality of life is suffering so much that it might be time to ask yourself, am I willing to maybe make a little bit less money but have a better quality of life for one reason or another?
Maybe it's because you having more free time simply improves your quality of life or because another job might be more social.
And maybe that's something that you're looking for in your life.
Or maybe a job that pays less money involves your passion, right?
Let's say you're an artist and you love art.
Maybe this other job is being an art teacher and it makes you less money, but it involves your passion.
It'll be more fulfilling for you overall.
Or let's say right now, your job involves your passion.
For some people, that doesn't work well.
For some people, mixing business with pleasure, mixing your passion with your job does not work and it ruins the passion, right?
And maybe you're like, I don't want to do that anymore.
I want to get a job that pays my bills so I can do my passion.
Separately and let it be my passion.
And I don't need to rely on my passion for money.
There's some people who really, really hate that.
And that doesn't work for some people.
All of that being said, when you feel like you've chosen the wrong career path, it's just about recalibrating.
Okay, what do I want?
What is not working now?
And being proactive about changing it.
Because I think we can become almost stuck.
We can become stuck feeling like, but I've worked for so long on getting to this certain point in this career.
And I don't want to be a failure.
And I don't want to start something.
I don't want to start all over again.
None of the time that you've spent working this far has been a waste.
You've learned so much working on your career this far that you're going to be an incredible asset to whatever you choose.
You're already a few steps ahead, moving into your next venture, trying something new.
There's going to be things that you don't understand.
But you've already learned more than you realize from your career path thus far.
Pivoting doesn't erase all the things that you've learned thus far.
There are universal things that you learn from any job that will help you in your next job.
And you might have to work a little bit harder in the beginning to pivot career paths.
There might be some sacrifices, but I think ultimately to find a career path that you are satisfied with is worth it.
And so I think it's worth it.
So I would say, accept that you need to make a change and make a plan to figure out how to make those changes happen.
Next, somebody said, how to be competent starting a new venture.
I'm so scared of failing.
This is going to sound so Pinterest quote -y, like I already know.
I'm about to sound like a fucking Pinterest quote.
You have to accept that you probably are going to fail.
Like it's an inevitable truth.
We are all going to fail in this life.
And we're not just going to fail once.
We're going to fail over and over and over again.
And failing is not bad.
Failing is not the thing to fear.
It's how you recover that is most important.
How you pivot when you fail that's most important.
So I think to the best of your ability, you must accept the fact that you might fail.
But I think the best thing to do partnered with accepting the fact that failure is inevitable is to make a plan.
What am I going to do if I fail?
Okay, let's imagine it.
Worst case scenario, I fail.
What do I do then? How do I get back on my feet?
And I think about this all the time because my job specifically is very unusual in the sense that it's based on sort of public opinion, right?
Like my job is based on whether or not people like me.
And I'm a human being who's on a journey, growing, evolving, changing.
My interests are changing.
My personality is changing.
I'm not this stagnant human being who's, you know, if you fall in love with one version of me, that's what you get for the rest of time.
I cannot exist in that way and nobody should.
And so I'm sort of at risk in my career of potentially falling out of favor at any given moment with people.
And the second that, you know, people don't like me anymore, which is completely out of my control, my career is over in theory, right?
So I've thought a lot about, okay, well, what happens if my career ends?
And it used to be really daunting to me.
Like what happens if I fail?
But what ended up helping me find peace of mind is making a plan.
Like, okay, well, what do I do if this all goes away?
And I found a plan that's honestly equally as fulfilling and beautiful to me than continuing on with the career I have now.
I love and appreciate and cherish the career I have now, and I would love to do it for as long as possible.
It will ebb and flow and it will change as I grow older and my interests change and blah, blah, blah.
But I would love to stay in this line of work, if you will, for as long as possible.
However, if it does go away, I have a plan that also sounds delightful.
You know, I have another career plan that sounds delightful.
And I've come to terms with the fact that it could fail at any moment.
And because I have this plan of what I will do if it fails, I'm not worried.
I really, I have no fear anymore about what happens if I fail in this career path that I'm in now.
And I really recommend that.
It's accepting failure and it's making a plan.
And when you feel that security and you aren't afraid of failing anymore, then naturally the confidence seeps in and you're like, fuck it.
I have nothing to lose starting this new venture because if it does fail, I already have a plan of what I'm going to try next.
And it sounds great.
So I think that that's key.
But also, I think another thing that helps with confidence is realizing that nobody knows everything.
When you start a new venture, you tend to feel like a fish out of water.
Like I don't even know, I don't even know what the fuck's going on.
I don't even know how to survive in this job.
I don't know what to do.
I can't, it's not automatic, you know, it's, I don't, I'm new.
Everything's hard right now, right?
And it's very overwhelming.
But there's two things to remember.
Number one, not even your boss knows everything.
We all have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses.
We're all hyper focused on our particular strengths and weaknesses.
We're very aware of our duality.
Whereas when we look at our boss or people who have been working at, you know, a company or working in the same job that we're beginning, we tend to just see their strengths.
Like, oh, you know, how am I ever going to catch up to them?
They're 50 ,000 steps ahead of me.
But they also have weaknesses.
And don't forget that.
On top of that, they also started somewhere.
They started in the exact position that you're in.
The only way to get to a point where you're really good at something and it's working is to start from a point where you're a beginner.
Everybody starts as a beginner, every single person.
So don't be afraid of starting a new venture.
Everybody has been a beginner before.
You're no farther behind anyone else.
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This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
One skill everyone can benefit from is learning how to take time for themselves.
I have been implementing a lot of self -care rituals recently because I was not taking nearly enough time for myself and it was negatively impacting my brain.
One thing that I've done is not allowed myself to doom scroll on social media in my time spent alone.
I find that that just ruins the recharging benefits of being alone.
I've been making more time to read books, do art, and exercise because I find that all of those things make my alone time even more effective in terms of recharging.
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Next, somebody said, how can I actually choose what job I want to do if my options seem so different?
How to choose my path?
I'm assuming that what this means is how do I narrow down what career path to actually go with when there are so many different options that are all so different?
For example, going into finance versus going into the arts.
Maybe you have interest in both.
How do you choose one over the other?
I think you need to get out a piece of paper and you need to write the pros and cons of each job because it is very hard to compare two things that are so different.
It's easy to compare being a music teacher versus being an art teacher.
It's like, well, I simply like music more or I'm better at art, so I should teach art because I'm better at it.
It's easy to compare two jobs that are in the same category, whereas comparing two polar opposite jobs like, oh, I kind of enjoy numbers and I enjoy math.
So maybe I could go into finance or I really love fashion though too.
Maybe I should work in retail or maybe I should learn how to design and become a designer.
It's hard to compare two jobs that are complete polar opposites, so I think you have to make a pros and cons list that sort of take it down to its universal qualities.
For example, let's say you're choosing between a finance job and a job in the arts.
Make a very simplified pros and cons list.
The pros of doing a finance job is, number one, it pays more and number two, you like working with numbers and you like the puzzle that is working with numbers.
There's something satisfying about that.
You get into the flow state really easily with numbers maybe and it's something that you think would be easy to sort of sit down and do every day because it's something that you enjoy.
Like in years past when you were doing math homework, that was the homework that you really enjoyed actually for some reason and you would get into the flow state with it and you actually found a lot of joy in it.
But then the cons of a finance job is that you have very few days off and you fear that you might get sick of it and it might grow old to you very quickly.
Whereas the pros and cons of working in the arts is maybe you have a passion for the arts.
So that's a pro and you might get more days off.
But then the cons is that you might not be making as much money as you would like to be making and maybe it's harder to build on a career in the arts.
Like you can't maybe go as far in that career.
It's harder to build on that career maybe.
Like okay from being an art teacher, where do you go from there?
Okay maybe being an art professor and then maybe ultimately being an artist and selling your art.
But maybe you're like I want to do something bigger that doesn't feel big enough to me.
Like I want to own my own bank one day or something.
Like I don't know if you want to do something bigger, maybe working in finance is more appealing to you.
Like you want to go an entrepreneurial route.
Maybe it's harder to go in an entrepreneurial route when you go down the path of a career in the arts.
So it's like about weighing the pros and cons of the things that are in a way similar between the two.
Both jobs make money.
Both jobs have hours.
Both jobs impact your quality of life.
Both jobs have varying degrees of social activity.
Both jobs have legs in terms of whether or not you're going to get sick of them and how quickly you'll get sick of them or bored of them.
There's all these things that they do have in common and you can weigh the pros and cons of both, write them all down and kind of go from there and see like what the overwhelming conclusion is.
Next, somebody said, how to start a business.
So many ideas, but don't know how or where to start.
I honestly do believe that it's really hard to know where to start without a plan, which is why I recommend sitting down in really dedicating yourself to making a clear plan, constructing a clear vision, and stress testing in every single way possible before getting started.
Now listen, when starting a business, you're always going to run into roadblocks that you didn't expect.
You're always going to run into challenges that you didn't expect and pivots and changes and alterations.
It's all going to happen regardless.
However, I think the most promising method for starting a business is to try to get it as locked and loaded as possible before you even make your first move.
Design and create your business in every single capacity before you even send your first email to a production company who's going to produce your product or whatever, or before you even make your website, before you even buy your website domain.
Have everything planned out.
Every gray area should be addressed.
That's my recommendation because I actually think that when I started Chamberlain Coffee, I didn't do that as much.
I'm going to create a good product, just one, which was these coffee tea bags sort of things.
They're basically bags to make cold brew with at home with no equipment.
That was the product that I wanted to come out with.
And I sort of did no other planning.
I was like, I'm just going to release this product.
I'm going to make sure the product itself is good.
That's all going to be squared away.
But the actual plan a year down the line, a little bit less fleshed out.
I don't think that that was the right approach.
I think that I should have gone into releasing that first product that was sort of a proof of concept with a more developed plan for what happens if it does work.
Because then once it did work, I sort of had to start from scratch.
Okay, wait. Now I know that this works.
I want to be in the coffee industry.
It makes sense. It's working.
Okay, now what? And I had to build from the ground up.
And I think that it stalled, in a way, the growth of the brand for a year or two there.
It was very hard to scale the brand because we tested, okay, does my audience want to buy coffee from me?
Okay, the answer is yes.
Okay, now we have to go back to the drawing board instead of being like, okay, yes.
Now we can just immediately dive straight into the next move because we already have all of our plans in place.
So I would really recommend having at least a two -year plan in place before you get started.
And be open to the plan changing down the line because again, inevitably, things will need to change.
You know, you'll hit roadblocks you didn't anticipate.
You'll have new ideas that are exciting, but have as developed of a plan as possible.
And then it'll give you an obvious first step of how to get started.
You know, if you have a fully developed plan, it's obvious what the first step is.
The first step might be, okay, I need to research how to make a website.
Okay, I need to research how to find a production company or manufacturing company to make the product that I want to make.
It becomes obvious what your next steps are once you have a solid plan.
Somebody said, where do you start if you feel like you are living a life with no purpose?
I feel like I have no hopes or dreams and I want them.
Well, I think a lot of times we search for purpose and meaning in the wrong places.
Like for a long time, I was searching for purpose in career.
You know, and I think that's a very common thing in our culture today is like, you know, finding our purpose in our jobs.
And I don't think that's always a bad thing because I do think that in a way, you know, it can be great to, you know, like that's, it's not, I'm not shitting on that as a goal.
However, I think that that tends to end up falling short because if you make your purpose in life to succeed in your career, you know, maybe that is to make a lot of money or to reach a certain position at your job, a certain prestigious position at your job or whatever it may be.
The problem with that is that that is not what ultimately feeds your soul and feeds your purpose.
Like our purpose as humans tends to be a bit deeper than that.
And I think if you're finding that, you know, you can't find a purpose, you can't find a goal, you might be looking in the wrong place.
You might be expecting too much out of it.
Like it might be something far more simple than you could ever expect.
For example, what I've realized is that my ultimate goal in life and one of my purposes in life is to make people feel understood in life, to make people feel less alone in life.
Sounds cringe, sounds corny, whatever.
Roll your eyes at me all you want.
But that's something that is really important to me.
And that's something that I have been able to integrate into my career, absolutely, which is beautiful and incredible.
However, that purpose extends beyond my career.
If my career were to disappear today, I would continue to do that in the real world with people that I meet at random cafes in the grocery store and friends that I have and family that I have.
That purpose extends beyond my career.
That is something that is just in me that I try to apply to every single area of my life.
And it's not anything particularly grandiose.
I'm not curing diseases or curing depression.
I'm not doing anything big and magic.
My goal and my purpose is just to be a comforting presence for people.
That is something that is really important to me.
And again, the key to that purpose being something that can stick is that it goes beyond my career.
Similar to another one of my goals in life and purposes in life is to hopefully have a family one day, right?
Now that has nothing to do with my career.
That is strictly personal, has nothing to do with my career at all.
But that's another purpose that I found.
And that was something that took me a long time to realize.
For so long, I was just not really thinking about having a family one day or whether or not that was something that was important to me.
But the older I get, the more I cherish the family that I have now.
And the more important it is for me to build my own family when I'm older as well.
And so that's another purpose that I've found.
And the thing about that that is fulfilling for me is that it's a goal for me that will bring me fulfillment for the rest of my life.
To be able to build a family that even goes beyond me getting married and having kids, but also having friends that feel like family and stuff like that, that is really important to me.
And that's also a purpose for me, is finding that and cultivating that and building that.
And so I think that my piece of advice to you is if you feel like you're living a life with no purpose and you feel like you have no hopes or dreams, start from the most basic point of like, okay, what do I enjoy doing?
When do I feel the most fulfilled?
What do I want my life to look like in 30 years?
Ask yourself all of these questions and try to find the simple through lines that aren't like, again, not moving fucking mountains.
We don't have to move mountains.
Our purpose in life, our goal in life does not.
And for most people should not be to like fucking move mountains.
But a lot of times we expect that of ourselves.
Like, fuck, my purpose should be something grandiose, not necessarily.
It could literally just be to have a family.
That could be it. And honestly, that's my main purpose at this point.
It's like, you know what?
I really want to have a family.
I want to make my own family.
And that's not anything crazy.
That's not anything particularly unique, but it's something that drives me forward.
It's something that gives me a light 10 years down the line.
And when it comes to my other sort of purpose, which is making people feel safe and comfortable and understood, and that being my other sort of personal purpose in life, that's a purpose that I can integrate that into anything I do in my life, no matter where my career goes, et cetera, et cetera.
And it's broad enough and it's vague enough that it can apply to almost anything.
And that's also what I find is so sort of inspiring about that particular purpose that I've found is that it can apply on a large or small scale.
So don't put pressure on yourself to have some sort of grandiose purpose, okay?
Your purpose is different than your fiscal goals, your financial goals.
Like it's different.
It's different than your career goals a lot of times.
I feel like our purpose in life should be much more broad.
And, you know, it might even just be as simple as like, I want to help people.
I want to be helpful to people.
It might be that simple.
It might be, I want to be a friend to as many people as I possibly can, right?
It might be, I want to prevent bullying, you know?
It could be anything.
It could literally be anything, but these things are so broad that they could apply to every area of your life.
And I think that that's the key.
Or, you know, I just want to have a family.
I just want to be a parent.
Like that might be your goal.
Like I just want to raise a really incredible child.
That's a great purpose as well.
Anyway, and you can have multiple purposes, but it's simplifying it, I think, that can help you determine what it truly is.
Somebody said, I'm not sure what to do with my life.
I have so many interests and can't stick to just one.
Well, I think the beauty of life is that we can try everything.
And so I'd say my first piece of advice is to try as many of your interests as possible, right?
Like, let's say you love designing clothes, making coffee as a barista.
And this is like the things that I like to do.
I guess I'm thinking myself.
And you like coding.
Like you, you know, have a random side passion for coding in code or whatever.
Take a few part -time jobs and try all of them.
Or, you know, dedicate one year to trying one thing, the next year to trying another, the next year to trying another.
I recommend trying it all and seeing which one is your favorite in practice.
Which one do you like doing every day?
It's hard to know unless you try it.
And so I would say try everything.
Why not? You could try everything all at once.
You could section it off and try things one at a time.
I mean, if you're in a place in your life where it doesn't make sense to try things one at a time and you really want to get started on one particular path, maybe figure out, okay, which one of my interests could just remain a hobby, right?
Like, which things make most sense to just remain a hobby?
Okay, well, then those things will just remain a hobby.
Which things have the most potential for, you know, a successful career personally for you?
Okay, well, then maybe that's the one you pursue.
So I also think it comes down to, like, analyzing each of your interests and figuring out which one is going to make the most successful career path in your eyes.
Now, again, as I described earlier, success looks different for everybody.
For some people, it's about quality of life and work -life balance.
For some people, it's more about how much money is made.
For some people, it's about whether or not it ties into their passion in life or their purpose in life.
It's so different for everybody.
And so I think it's about analyzing each of your interests and figuring out which one actually makes the best job.
Because some of our interests would not be great as a job.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, some things actually are more enjoyable just remaining a hobby or maybe a little side job that isn't necessarily, like, something that makes you a lot of money but something that you just do for fun.
I think it's about being really analytical and really, again, making a plan and stress testing every potential way that you could go to figure out the best one.
Because I think a lot of times we forget how helpful it can be to lay everything out and analyze everything before we begin.
Like, a lot of times, I think we want to have a gut feeling or we want to have an intuition.
And sometimes we just don't have that about these decisions.
And so that's when it's important to sit down and analyze things and figure out what the most fulfilling choice is going to be.
And you might fuck up the first time and you might have to scrap that path and go in a different direction.
But I think that that's the best action to take when you want to make a choice and you want to start moving in one particular direction.
But you don't know which particular direction that is.
Somebody said, how to stop overthinking about starting a new career and lifestyle and leaving the old one behind.
It can be really terrifying to leave a comfortable lifestyle and start something brand new.
But I think what's important to remind ourselves is that very rarely can we not return to our old lifestyle if we really wanted to.
Like, if we really, really wanted to return to the old, right?
If we try something new, very rarely can you not revert back to what you were doing before.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
There are times when it's not an option and that's far more challenging psychologically.
But most of the time, if you really wanted to, you could go back.
And so maybe something that could help the overthinking is figuring out a plan.
Okay, if I do want to go back, how can I keep that door open?
And maybe find a plan of how to keep that door open to the life that you lived before so that you could go back to it if you wanted to.
And that can help relieve a lot of overthinking.
But also, if you're like, no, I can't go back ever, whether it's because you don't want to go back ever or because that door has been shut for some reason that's out of your control, I think it's about accepting the fact that that door is closed.
And it's about accepting that you don't know how this next chapter is going to go.
It could be absolutely delightful and incredible and amazing.
It could also not end up being what you wanted it to be.
Instead of comforting yourself by leaving the door open, comfort yourself by looking around and seeing that there are so many doors that you have yet to open.
And so if this chapter that you're about to go through now doesn't end up working out, there are thousands of directions to go next that could be even better.
But you're in this place now where this is the choice that you've made.
This is your immediate future.
Find excitement about it.
Find all the things about it that you're excited about and try to focus on that as much as you can as well.
I think what tends to cause overthinking and stress about say a new job or a new lifestyle is, oh my God, I feel like I'm stuck in this new way of living.
If it doesn't work out, I'm stuck in it.
And that's why we tend to freak out, overthink, and not be excited about new ventures is because we're like, well, I'm stuck in it.
We're not stuck in anything.
I'm sorry, we're not.
There's always a way to change things, to pivot things.
So figure out, okay, what is my plan if this next thing doesn't work out?
If this new career and lifestyle doesn't work out, do I go back to the old career and lifestyle?
Or do I move on to this next idea for career and lifestyle?
I think it's nice to always have a plan.
And that eases mind so much.
But also, again, as I said earlier, also try to have a glass half full attitude and see the positive in this new career and lifestyle.
Try to find the things about it that are exciting to you.
Whether it's like, oh, this new area that I'm living in for this new job, there's a lot of cute wine bars.
So maybe I'll start going out to wine bars on the weekend and meeting friends.
Or I only work Monday through Thursday.
So on Fridays, I have Fridays off now.
What am I going to do with that Friday?
I could learn how to skateboard.
I don't know who's learning how to skateboard.
But you know what I'm saying.
Try to find the positives in the meantime while simultaneously creating a plan.
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Somebody said, I'm scared if I go to college and follow the normal path.
I'll always regret not following my heart.
What do you think? Well, it's never too late to follow your heart.
So if it's looking like you're going to go to college, even if that's something that you're not feeling 100 % confident in, if that's something that you've ultimately decided to do, regardless of feeling a little bit off about it, that is ultimately the decision that you've made, right?
And that's okay. Because even if that is the wrong decision, even if that's not what ends up guiding you in the direction of your ultimate career path, it doesn't matter.
There either kind of is no wrong choice.
Like, I feel like we really fear making the wrong choice because we feel like if we make one wrong choice, that's the end of it.
We failed and there's no chance for pivoting.
There's no chance for like we've ruined our chances.
That is absolutely false.
It's almost borderline superstitious.
And the feeling that we have that like, if we don't make the right choice the first time, that we've then demolished our chances for the rest of our lives.
There is something inherently superstitious and unhealthy about that.
And that's something I'm working on because I'm a very superstitious person.
And it's very toxic and unhealthy for me.
And something that I've noticed is that it's never too late.
Okay? If for whatever reason, even if you have a gut feeling that you maybe shouldn't go to college, but for whatever reason you go anyway, there was a reason not to get spiritual, but there was a reason why the universe wanted you to go to college.
If that is where you end up, that was where you were supposed to be.
And guess what? Regardless of if that ultimately leads to your ultimate career, regardless of if that ends up being a good or bad experience, regardless of everything, you will, number one, learn from the experience.
And number two, not be knocked off your path far enough that you can never get back on your path.
It just does not work that way.
You can graduate from college and then say, okay, you know what?
Now I'm ready to follow my heart.
Now I'm confident enough to follow my heart.
I didn't follow my heart when I went to college.
I learned a lot from the experience, but it wasn't right for me.
And I can't keep following this trajectory.
I need to pivot. There's nothing wrong with doing that down the line.
There's a societal pressure to get it right the first time, to do it all in a timely manner, to do it all before you're 30.
There's this pressure to do it all right the first time.
And it's ridiculous.
And it's fucking stupid because it holds us back.
It's this limiting belief that we have as a society that we need to get it right the first time that prevents us from making a choice that maybe didn't quite work out and then pivoting down the line.
We convince ourselves that we've failed and we have to continue in this miserable lifestyle that we started in because to pivot is to fail.
Or to go to college when you're 30 is to fail.
To start a new job at 40 is to fail.
No, it's not. It's fucking stupid.
It is so stupid. It's so dumb.
But it is this weird societal pressure that we have.
And I was so wrapped up in it.
I was so wrapped up in middle school and high school, the obsession with following the perfect model of what a career path should look like.
Going to college, going to a particularly prestigious college, going to the most competitive college you can go to, and then getting the most competitive job you possibly...
That was the trajectory that I was on.
I was obsessed with that path.
And I was obsessed with doing it perfectly the first time because that to me was what success was.
And I was all wrong about it.
But it made me so unhappy.
It made me so miserable living in that rigid mindset of like, I need to get it right the first time.
And if I had just let myself go from that, if I had just set myself free from that, I mean, I would have been so much happier.
And I think that I would have been able to make better choices so much easier.
So anyway, my overall advice is saying, following your heart and not going to college, that's beautiful.
That's what you should do.
Having a gut feeling that you don't really want to go to college, but going anyway, just to make sure that you're not missing out on the college experience, that's beautiful and delightful as well.
Both choices could be right.
Both choices could be wrong.
Regardless, you're going to learn something.
And regardless, they're both a part of your ultimate path.
The wrong turns and shit are a part of your path in life.
Don't fight it. I really don't believe that there's a wrong choice.
And some people might disagree, but I don't think that there is.
Somebody said, should I give up a steady government job and take the risk to look for what I'm truly passionate about?
My recommendation here is if there's any possible way that you could potentially look for what you're truly passionate about while working in your steady job, that would be my recommendation.
Like, if you can do research, read books, watch documentaries, research other career paths while simultaneously working in your steady job, that is what I would recommend.
Like, if you can do your soul searching while you have a steady income, that would be my personal recommendation, just because then you get the best of both worlds, right?
I think it can be really frightening to leave something before you have a plan.
And I'm not saying like, sometimes we have a gut feeling about that.
Like, I think I should leave.
I think that I should start on this other venture.
I don't really have it fully fleshed out yet, but I feel like in my gut, I'm being told to leave my job and do the fair enough.
I will never bash somebody's intuition if they feel something in their soul.
But if you don't have a plan yet, and you don't even really know what your passion is yet, I would say do research and formulate a stronger opinion about what you want to do next before you leave.
Because I think that you can do both at once.
I think that you can continue working in your government job and start soul searching simultaneously.
So that's what I would recommend.
And last but not least, somebody said, should I go for jobs that pay or jobs I love?
I think it really comes down to your priorities.
What is most important to you?
Figure out what that is, and then allow that to answer your question, right?
How much do you care about money?
Because there's nothing wrong with being like, I want to make a lot of money.
I want to live really comfortably.
That was a goal that I had when I was younger, because I didn't grow up with a lot of money.
And a lot of my friends had a lot of money.
And I was like, fuck, that seems delightful.
I would love to have a lot of money.
And I was really determined to make a comfortable amount of money and not worry about money anymore.
That was something that was a huge priority for me when I was younger, younger, younger.
Then I got older and realized, I don't care as much anymore.
And my priorities have shifted as I've grown older.
And it's interesting, because now I'm like, I've experienced that.
And now I'm like, you know, it's not as fulfilling as I maybe thought it would be, right?
And when I was a kid, I was willing to work a job that maybe wasn't my passion in order to reach my financial goals.
That was where my head was at as a kid.
But anyway, all of that to say, you need to figure out what's most important to you.
Again, I'll bring it back to my parents.
Like, I think that my mom is more interested in having a job that pays well.
Historically, for as long as I've been alive, she's prioritized jobs that make money over jobs that she loves.
Because she wants to live as comfortably as possible so that her time when she's not working can look a certain way.
Whereas my dad has always been more concerned about jobs that he enjoys and jobs that allow him to have a lot of free time.
So he's preferred to choose jobs that he loves over jobs that pay well.
So again, I've seen both sides of the aisle.
And then me growing up as a kid, I was more concerned about eventually getting a job that paid well.
I was less concerned about it being my passion, which is funny because now, you know, I've talked a lot about how I've realized now that I don't think that that's where I stand on it personally anymore.
Like if I were to go back in time and this job that I have now is not my job, I think that I would have ultimately come to the conclusion eventually that I'd rather have a job that I love than a job that pays.
If everything were to be erased, my job now.
If I were to keep the brain that I have now, right?
But my career and all the money that I've made be all wiped away.
And I would and I were to have a fresh slate.
I can say with full confidence that I would choose a job I love over a job that paid.
Because I now realize that I need far less than I thought that I did to feel comfortable and happy.
I don't need as much as I thought I did.
You know, there are things that I've spent money on, like whether it's my house or, you know, maybe nice clothes sometimes, or, you know, eating at nice restaurants sometimes.
Like there are things that I definitely spend a lot of money, even like, you know, staying at maybe nicer hotels.
And I definitely ever stayed out when I was a kid.
There are certain things that I do definitely spend money on now that I thought would benefit my life in some way.
Like, you know, like being able to buy nice clothes, being able to eat expensive food, you know, being able to enjoy these things maybe more frequently than I did as a kid.
I think I expected these things to bring more joy than they did.
And that is not to say I'm not grateful for these things.
But I've just learned that I don't need these things.
I don't need a house that's the size of the house that I have now.
I would be equally as happy living in the size of house that I grew up in.
Two bedroom, actually, in my mom's apartment growing up.
One bedroom. Well, the first apartment we lived in.
One bedroom, one bathroom.
I live alone. I don't need all this space.
As long as, you know, I have art in my house that I like and I have furniture that I think is cute.
It doesn't need to be expensive furniture, just stuff I enjoy.
You know, I don't need to do that.
Traveling, growing up, I stayed in motels with my dad when we would be like, you know, going on a family vacation, like meeting up with our family on the East Coast.
And our family, our extended family, maybe rented like a large sort of cabin for everybody to stay in.
But my dad and I, on the way to said cabin, would maybe have to stay a night in a really kind of scary, gross motel.
Okay. Listen, I don't love that.
Avoid doing mad again.
But what I'm saying is like, we still had fucking fun.
We still had fun. It was equally as fun.
I travel with my dad still, and we always had fun.
The level of fun that we've had has not changed from staying at motels to staying at, you know, nice, nice hotels.
Nothing has changed about the experience.
Like it's not any more fun.
It's maybe more comfortable.
It maybe feels safer.
And those things are definitely not to be ignored.
But like when it comes to fulfillment and joy, I've realized that money only helps so much, right?
Like money, and I've talked about this a lot and it's somewhat controversial.
And so I'm sorry to poke the bear, but like money to a certain extent can buy happiness.
Absolutely undeniably because money can buy safety.
Money can buy comfort.
Money can buy, you know, at times quality, right?
It is undeniable that to a certain extent, money buys happiness.
I will never, if I ever say money doesn't buy happiness, it's because I just know that there's nuance there.
And the nuance is that money does buy happiness.
Undeniably, I will never ever, like for the remainder of my life, I will never deny or fight money does buy happiness to a point.
Absolutely. But beyond that point, it does not.
And that is what I've realized from my experiences in life.
And so with that being said, if everything were to be erased and I had to start over, I can be happy and fulfilled off of far less than I ever thought.
And with that knowledge and with that understanding of myself now, I would choose a job that I love.
But again, all of this soul searching, all of this, you know, sometimes you have to go and get a job that pays to realize, you know what?
I actually don't care about money as much as I thought I did.
I need to have a certain amount of money to survive and be comfortable.
And that is absolutely priority for me.
But I don't need to have excess necessarily.
I can go and maybe live a bit more frugally with a job that I love.
And it doesn't even really make a difference.
It just only makes my life better.
But again, you have to go on that journey yourself.
You have to figure out what is going to make you feel the most fulfilled.
And that is key. Okay.
And it might mean like making more money than you need to then realize, okay, I don't actually need to live that way.
I don't want to live that way.
It might also be going and getting a job you love and being like, I'm still, like I want a bit more financial freedom.
This is not comfortable for me, right?
In that case, okay, now you know what?
I'm going to sacrifice working this job I love to build a bit more financial freedom.
And it's a journey that there are going to be wrong turns.
There are going to be right turns.
And it's a question that takes a while to answer, I think.
But that's it. That's all I have for today.
Thank you all for listening and hanging out.
I love you all and appreciate you all.
And it's always such a joy.
Just like chatting, like just chatting with you.
New episodes every Thursday and Sunday.
Stream anywhere you get podcasts.
Although video episodes are exclusively on Spotify.
Check out Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes.
Check me out at Emma Chamberlain.
Check out my coffee company, chamberlandcoffee .com or at Chamberlain Coffee on social media.
And I'll be talking to you all very soon.
Thank you all for hanging out.
I love you all. I appreciate you all.
And you're so awesome.
Okay, talk to you soon.
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