hey story pirates podcast listeners lee here today we have a very special bonus episode for you featuring another brand new story that was written by not one not two but over a hundred different kids in our creator club this time it's a detective story can you solve the mystery before george the snarky calculator does find out right after a few words for the grown -ups Hey grown -ups, today's episode is sponsored by Smurfs, the new movie about the Smurfs in theaters July 18th.
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I'm very different from everybody.
Confusion is the step before curiosity.
Okay, that's a really funny idea.
We have to send that in.
I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling.
I believe all the things in my story.
Human beings are just able to create.
The Zoey Pirates. OK, everybody, here's what's up.
As you know, every once in a while we invite all our Creator Club members to join me and Peter on a Zoom to write a story together.
Over a hundred different kids from all over the world showed up and together we wrote an incredible detective story about a snarky calculator and an exploding pig.
And I'm pretty much 100 % certain that you are not going to be able to predict how it ends.
And P .S., grown -ups, we're doing this whole thing again on a Zoom with me and Peter in July, and it's not too late to get your kids involved.
We're going to write a brand new story together and then adapt it for the podcast, just like in today's episode.
Information on how to join us is in the episode description for today's episode.
So, grown -ups, check it out and join us.
And now, without further ado, we present to you a story by the Story Pirates Creator Club, The Exploding Pig and the Snarky Calculator, A Suspenseful and Saucy Saga.
It was a dark and stormy night at the office of me, George the Broken Calculator, Private Eye.
But being broken hasn't slowed me down.
It's like I always say, even a broken calculator is right twice a day.
And yes, I know that doesn't make sense.
Anyway, dark and stormy night.
I was just sitting down to a cup of matcha tea to calm my nerves.
Business is slow, George.
If a new client doesn't walk through the door soon, you might have to close up and go back to...
Oh, thank goodness.
Hot job. Door's unlocked.
Are you George, the broken calculator?
Depends on who's asking.
Oh, sorry. I'm Mona Lisa, the exploding pig.
Pfft! Mona Lisa the Exploding Pig!
But you're the most famous singer in the world!
I have all your albums!
Pig Girls Don't Cry!
Oink! I Did It Again!
1980s Swine! I'm a huge fan!
I mean, can I help you?
Are you a detective?
Yes, of course. Do you have a mystery?
I do. Someone took a speck of my ice cream out of the container at my house while I was performing a concert was there something special about this ice cream yes it was neon pink hmm didn't seem like much of a case to me but i was desperate so i said yes what do you say detective it doesn't seem like much of a case to me but i'm desperate so i say yes sorry i didn't mean to say most of that out loud i see let's go to the scene of the crime as we pulled up to mona lisa's pig -shaped mansion, I couldn't help but notice that it was covered in what looked like millions of red diamonds.
Too many diamonds, if you ask me.
I wondered, were they stolen?
If you're wondering if they were stolen, don't worry.
They're unstolen. Glad to hear it.
The name of my house is the 24 carat cheese house.
Yes, it's the biggest house in Dallas, Texas.
I know all about it.
Because I was a huge fan.
Because I'm a huge fan.
Shoot. Did I say that out loud?
You did. Let's pretend I didn't.
Okay. Why don't you show me where the ice cream was taken?
It's right this way.
Down this hallway full of 25 ,000 cats.
Of course. Wait, what?
Did you say 25 ,000 cats?
Yes. See? They don't like calculators.
Then maybe we should go a different way?
This is the only way.
Okay. So I followed her through the mob of cats.
Excuse me? Did I want to?
No, that's far too many cats.
But what Mona Lisa didn't know is that I would follow her to the ends of the earth.
I really was her biggest fan.
But I didn't want to come across as some weirdo broken calculator detective.
So I had to play it cool.
We're here. That wasn't so bad, was it?
It wasn't. It was! Now, tell me, what is this place?
This is my secret ice cream collection room.
It's full of the rarest and most special flavors of ice cream.
It was then that I understood why she was so upset about the ice cream.
The room was full of freezers filled to the brim with valuable ice creams. I guess she wasn't a big weirdy after all.
Oh, I'm sorry. That was out loud.
I heard it that time.
I'm just glad you're taking this seriously.
Because this was a very real crime and the only reason I asked you to come here.
Of course. Now if you'll just...
Who's this? That's my soda can dog.
His name is Soda Can Dog.
Hello there, Soda Can Dog.
Who's a good boy? Whoa!
Just then, the dog jumped and knocked a carton of vanilla ice cream off the counter.
I'm so sorry about Soda Can Dog.
I don't know what's gotten into him.
I might. This spoon just fell out of that vanilla ice cream.
Nothing strange about that.
Why don't you look over here where the neon pink ice cream was stolen?
because this spoon has a clue a clue it has a speck of neon pink ice cream on it i think the culprit ate some pink ice cream then tried to stash the spoon in the vanilla looks like they got away with it shoot not so fast i'm going to dust the spoon for fingerprints can you do that can i mona lisa i already have wow you're good and it looks like the fingerprints belong to you you me you stole ice cream from yourself what's the meaning of this oh detective George don't make me say it don't make you say what that I have a crush on you what I did not see that coming you have a crush on me I've been
following your career for years I even wrote my biggest hit It'd unbreak my calculator about you.
That song always did speak to me.
So what do you say?
Should we get married and be together forever?
Whoa, don't get me wrong, Mona Lisa.
I'm your biggest fan.
But let's think about this.
Being together forever feels like a big first step.
You're right, of course.
Just like you are about all the crimes you solve.
Let's get to know each other in a montage song that I just wrote about us And all the things that we're about to do together You had me at montage song Let's go!
We'll get some juice at the juice hut Then we'll play on the baby swings We'll sing together And then we'll watch romantic comedies all day We'll take a tour of planet Saturn Then we'll go on a boat that's a roller coaster Go in a swimming pool for dogs And send each other notes Then we'll comb each other's amazing hair And finally we'll go base jumping Wow, we really did do all those things.
Base jumping was my favorite part.
I like the swimming pool for dogs.
Remember our 10 -year trip to Saturn?
Yeah, space travel is no joke.
So, now that we've gotten to know each other, what do you think?
Will you marry me? Do we add up?
This old broken calculator might only be right twice a day.
I still don't understand that.
But I'm pretty sure that it's one of those two times when I say, Yes!
Oh, George, I'm so happy.
It makes me want to sing again.
Please do. I love a detective, his name is George, and I can't wait to marry him.
I also can't wait to eat a banana and then put it on the ground.
I also want to eat a pickle, but probably not the same time as the banana.
But wait! Before we get married or adopt a cat, I need to ask you one thing I've been wondering for years.
What is it? Why is it they call you an exploding pig?
It's because when I get really, really, really, really hippy, I explode!
Oh my goodness Mona Lisa She exploded Into thousands of adorable piglets Will you be our papa?
Uh Sure Yay Boy I did not see that coming I really didn't The end We'll be right back After a few words for the grown ups Hey grown -ups, today's episode is brought to you by DoorDash.
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And now it's time for Story Pirates Roll Call Welcome back to Story Pirates Roll Call Where we read stories written by kids And discuss them All the beautiful things, all the terrifying things, all the wonderful things, the inspiring things, all the things kids have to say through their narratives.
Peter, I'd like to read today's first story.
I would like to listen to it.
All right. By seven -year -old Julius from the District of Columbia.
Here is a story called Potato Monsters Have Jobs.
Thank goodness. Potatoes have jobs, you see.
that's why i bring you this story they can be firefighters rabbis and more but that's a bad thing because they turn into potato monsters whoa the end wow this is a real tone change at the very end honestly and i don't say this lightly i think this is one of the most terrifying stories we've ever received julia's fantastic story it's terrifying but also incredibly funny and creative all right peter let's move on to our next story would you do the honors yes this next story comes to us from a six -year -old from massachusetts named alexandra and this story is called the cat who thought it was a dog
one day there was a cat named mittens but he thought he was a dog so one day he he told his owner that he was a dog.
Then the owner said, no, you are a cat, not a dog.
But Mitten said, but I look like a dog.
The owner said, but you think you are a dog, but you are not actually a dog.
Mitten said, how do you know I am a cat?
The owner said, well, you have sharp claws.
Mittens, some dogs have sharp claws.
Well, then why do you purr and hiss like a cat?
Because I'm a dog that purrs and hisses.
Then go to this location.
location. I have a map and the old lady will tell you if you are a dog or a cat.
Okay, I will. I will set off to find the old lady and she will tell me that I am a dog, but you will have to cross rivers, lakes, and sandy beaches.
Okay. Bye. I am going.
Then he has to go through the pond first, actually.
Then he goes through the lake.
Then he has to go through the sandy beach. Then Then he approaches the house of the old lady.
Then the old lady says, Hello, I can tell if you are a cat or a dog.
Is that what you are here for?
Yes! Then the old lady says, You are a cat.
Mitten says, Okay, I want to be a cat now.
And then the cat makes its way home.
Then he wants to go to his friend, the dog who thought he was a cat.
And the dog Biscuit said, Hello, I'm a cat.
And Mitten said, No, you're a dog.
The end. And it starts all over again.
Wow. This story took me on a journey.
It sure, literally.
Because I really thought it was about identity at first. Like, you know, self -determination, being able to be who you feel you are inside.
Yes. But it really feels like it was just a mistake.
Yeah, it was like, I really just need verification.
Yeah, the cat was just genuinely confused.
confused. You know what?
This is like when a parent tells a fact to their kid and the kid just doesn't want it to be true.
And it's like, I'm going to say no, mostly just because you're my dad and I don't trust you.
But then any old stranger goes, no, that's true.
And they go, oh, I believe it now.
Okay. Does that happen to you a lot?
Can you tell? So here's my question is why is this lady, this old lady have so much authority?
She's a person who greets people by saying, Hello, I can tell you if you are a cat or a dog.
Is that what you're here for?
There's clearly a backstory there that we don't know about.
She's very powerful.
It's happening enough in this world that there's a person whose job it is.
That's right. And that the owner has a map on hand.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, we don't know.
This conversation, this disagreement between the owner and Mittens could have been going on for a very long time.
Maybe the owner did some research, got the map.
Yeah. Alexandra, beautiful story.
Thank you so much for sending it in to us.
All right, we have one more here.
I will read it. Great.
From eight -year -old Rufus in the United Kingdom comes a story called Watermelon Cheese.
Have you heard of watermelon cheese?
What is watermelon cheese?
Oh, I know what it is.
It's the thing that pumps your blood.
wait no that's not right it's the book written by charles dickens wait no that's not right it's it's me lee i'm not confident that is what it is well the author whoever the narrator is you don't know they could be watermelon cheese yeah they don't seem like they really did their research before before they started telling the story, an unreliable narrator, as we know, StoryParts loves, and he's already just like here to be an authority.
Have you heard of watermelon cheese?
And then realizes, I didn't think beyond that question.
Yeah. What is watermelon cheese?
Oh, is this a commercial?
Have you heard of watermelon cheese?
What is watermelon cheese?
I know what it is. It's a thing that pumps your blood.
Wait, no, that's not right.
It's the book by Charles Dickens.
No, wait, that's not right.
Right. It's it's me.
If you want me, call now.
Five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five.
That was an amazing cold read.
Thank you. But I do think it's rich for you to call this narrator someone who's not done their research. When they quite literally reference Charles Dickens on the origin of species, this narrator has done their research. I'm sorry.
Do you mean Charles Darwin?
who i hear has not done their research now uh i read great expectations in sixth grade and that is a weird weird book you know i was in great expectations you want to know a fun fact were you mrs marvelous No, I was in great expectations in high school.
I played Herbert Pocket, the best friend.
But you know who played the narrator in this play?
Megan O 'Neill. What?
Yes. Megan from the Story Buyers Podcast?
We met when we were 17 years old and we were in Great Expectations together.
and our favorite thing was that somebody the character forgot to enter because he was backstage with his costume off playing the bass just by himself and so it was his face we just found one i don't know but pip was out on stage alone and the guy didn't enter and so megan as the narrator suddenly without fail just went so pip sat and fought and he thought some more and i saw this And I go, improv's happening.
And I jumped out and I go, hello, Pip.
I'm sorry, but there was a rather singular looking gentleman walking around outside.
Perhaps you know him?
He goes, yes, maybe.
I shall fetch him. And I remember those lines because I improvised.
Did you really say singular?
I said there's a rather singular fellow outside.
That is my favorite story you've ever told.
But Megan and I saved it.
Well, Megan saved it.
We were a team. You supported Megan.
Yes. She could have kept going without you We were a team ever since She's got to craft that one Oh, yeah Her entire character is based upon it Well, that story was amazing Yours and Rufus's Thank you so much, Rufus For sending us watermelon cheese That's it for Roll Call And remember, you can watch an even longer Version of Roll Call on the Story Pirates YouTube page with help from your grown -ups And now it's time for you to write us a story because summertime is a great time to write stories.
Grownups can submit stories at storypirates .com and remember we respond to every single story we receive.
That's it for today's bonus episode.
Grownups don't forget to check out the show notes for today's episode to find out how your kids can join us for our next create a story session We'll be back next week with more new stories.
Until then, stay creative and stay kind.
Bye! The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios.
Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka.
This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree.
Recording, sound design, and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City.
Theme song by Bobby Lord. Roll call theme by Andrew Barbato.
Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell.
Adapted by Peter McNerney and featuring performances by Austin Sanders and Heather Woodward. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin.
Oh, look, it's a pig.
Oh, you're so cute, little pig.
pig? Wait you're not one of those pigs like the one in today's story right?
You're not going to explode into a million little piglets.
Will you be our papa?
Well guess I'm a pig dad now!
