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Hey, weirdos. I'm Elena.
I'm Ash. And this is Morbid.
It is. We were just having a confession circle.
Ash had a hilarious dream.
I'm not going to tell it on air.
Which you'll never.
It will not leave this room.
And we will not give you a hint.
It was a strange fucking dream.
Let me tell you, Mikey and I have tears in our gosh darn eyes.
I'm glad to give you that.
You're welcome. What a gift you gave me.
Do you guys have weird dreams?
No, do you guys have weird, inexplicable dreams about like - Of course, everybody does.
Because do you ever wake up from your dream and you're like, what the fuck is wrong with me?
Happens a lot actually.
I mean, I believe that to be true.
That happens a lot.
You wrote a whole novel about the way you're feeling.
What the fuck is wrong with you, dream?
I'm not going to write a novel about mine.
My flying printer? dream yeah it was a weird one that was a weird one and it was at my house it was yeah i hope that doesn't happen i hope that doesn't happen that dream doesn't come true mikey can you calm down over there stop throwing shit at me i know my dream upset you but i also ordered or ordered you did what no you did what i ordered some cookies for us are they cookie cookies because i don't think we need those cookie cookies cookie cookies uh but so we're gonna get anything even kookier in here because we're gonna go and we had wendy's for lunch we are just we're just really clogging those
old yeah i was gonna say today's just like a fuck it day fuck it fuck it uh but you know what it's listener tale day brought to you by you for you from you and all about you baby we love them you love them we all love them together everybody in the club getting listening to this.
You know? She died.
I killed her with my song.
I don't know why I just laughed so hard at that.
Is that a Coke? It's a Coke.
You only had such a little bit of it, and I only had such a little bit of my Dr. Pepper.
I don't drink a lot of Sody.
I just took two sips.
We had coffees today, too, and I had a lot of mine.
People are like, can you just slow it down like can you shut the fuck up down well you know what sorry i went to a place to bring it on we'll start with a wild tale okay a tale that is called the time a clown almost yeeteth me and i possibly almost yeeteth him back okay because i don't know why but i was in a place of clown when i was looking for some listener you were down to clown i really wanted is that that a bad thing to say mikey mikey was like i was like does that mean something that i don't know i'm screaming does it i have no idea i myself have never said that so why did you make me feel weird
about what i said for the second time today probably based off your dream or like probably it's some crazy thing okay it had nothing to do with clouds i guess i guess i mean depends how you look at it It certainly does.
I was acting a clown, so.
All right, so let's go back to the tails.
I'm just going to go right into it.
Do it. I'm going to just do a quick intro.
Love you guys. I've been listening for one, so for one twarnow, and I'm listening for most recent episode, and I'm working my way down to number one.
Ooh. Don't do that.
That's an interesting way of doing it.
Don't do that. Let us know if you still think we're okay by the end of that.
We're not. the other way is much more fun what an evolution i was gonna say you're devolving at that point i was just thinking like you'll experience my breakup or no like my my marriage my breakup and then my like not breakup time and then like yeah you'll experience a lot yeah and you're gonna experience it in a weird way yeah and then you're just you're kind of like slowly slowly submerging yourself into water Yeah, you're going 10 ,000 leagues under the sea.
Stop! Stop! That's the picture that I saw and that's what reminded me of my weird dream, Mikey.
Everybody, Mikey's hazing me, okay?
My own employee is hazing me about a weird dream that I had one time The amount of people that are gonna be so pissed but they will never.
They will never know It's locked up tight You better believe it.
You better lock yourself up over there You know what?
Whatever you think the dream was That was it.
Maybe not though um so yeah you're listening to the show in a in a tour now in a for about a tour now and that and you're going at a at a very interesting way i guess from now to beginning but you are also saying that your name is jade um which i can say yep thank you so this terrifying clarifying butthole clenching experience takes place way back when in the lovely year of 2016 i was but a scrawny pimple -faced wild -haired mentally unstable middle schooler weren't we all during this unfortunate time in my life you may remember a certain killer clown pandemic had arisen i personally had never been
scared of clowns but oh boy was that opinion about to kick me and my non -existent middle school balls let's set the scene it was 11 o 'clock at night On Friday, mid -spooky season The fall air was nippy And I was at a sleepover with two of my friends Amy, whose house we were residing Lived in the middle of literally bum -fuck nowhere Like, actually She lived on a hundred acre private property That was only accessible by a windy gravel road Honestly, the dream Her father was a very paranoid man Who we all joked, but seriously thought Was part of the CIA or the FBI He supposedly worked as a mailman But sir,
sir you expect us to believe your children go to private school on a mailman salary not fucking buying it the house government workers though like don't they make like better money i have no idea like there's not one part of me that can answer that question yeah i don't know what they make but i do know that they work like technically you're a government employee private school is wildly expensive yeah i don't i don't i didn't do that that's just like college yeah i like i went to like the worst public school ever so i think but you know public school is great sometimes um yeah depending on where yeah exactly
yeah so the house was an old two -story brick house with looming windows amy's dad also had numerous secret tunnels in the house just in case of any threat yeah he's not a mailman i was just gonna say i think we figured this out he's established he is CIA my friend.
He said welcome to the CIA. There you go.
Does anybody remember Sorry we're going off topic but I know we've talked about this before.
It's a club. It doesn't exist anymore.
It was called like the California Institute of the Arts I think it was CIA. And it's actually on topic because they had a dead clown there.
There you go and CIA. Yeah.
So it all makes sense but when I went to California before four uh they they yeah they had like a dead mummified clown there and all this other weird shit it was a cool place but i think it's gone now bummer ever been there people in california but amy's dad also had numerous secret secret tunnels but i've never seen i've never personally seen these tunnels they were locked up but amy has informed us that there were bulletproof vests stored inside that man is in the fbi cia 100 this is not relevant to the story but it helps set the scene and vibe of the house and area we were at.
Leading up to this, my friend had told us a handful of times how strangers had shown up lost on her property.
Most had been illegally hunting the land, not knowing it was private property, or college kids fucking around.
So random people showing up was not uncommon. However, they were quickly taught a lesson by her dad.
Oof. The clown attack happened outside.
We were sitting on her trampoline, one of those with the net around it.
We were discussing deep topics as middle school do the only light nearby was a faint glow from the back porch light the house was a good way away from the trampoline her backyard was large it was almost a semi -circle of cleared land edged by thick dark woods excuse me amy sarah and i were sitting in a sort of triangle formation the two of them were sitting facing me and i was facing them as we were talking something caught my eye over their shoulders keep in mind i have terrible eyesight and consistently boycott wearing my eyeglasses so it was hard to make out what I was seeing.
Your eyesight is gonna get worse baby.
A glint of something white had shifted in the woods which was a very good distance away.
At first I just assumed it was a wind chime or something but my friends had noticed that I had gone quiet.
They eyed me questioningly.
I think I saw something white moving in the woods over there I whispered.
They turned to look behind them squinting.
For a moment we were all silent observing the entrance to the woods.
Then I saw it again.
It seemed to be pacing the edge of the woods outside of the of the cast of the dim light the porch light was giving off sarah gasped her hand was trembling jade i'm not kidding i see something red too at this point it was apparent to all of us that there was something alive moving in the woods we stood from our spots conscious cautiously i'm sure it's nothing amy assured us we watched as the black figure crept out from the shadows and oh my gosh with a labored breath sarah says guys it was red hair it has it has it was guys what i saw it was red hair it was just that's all that's it guys that was red
hair that's what we saw that was just i'm just picturing like like you know like the hand and adam's family just like booping around just red hair just it's red hair it has red hair i caught my breath it became clear that a full -ass clown was in the woods and was approaching us baby you better run so far away he was wearing a black cloak -like outfit his mask was a haunting almost blank clown face with darkened eyes and a crooked smile i hate it chunks of red hair spotted his head as he stepped out of the woods we screamed while amy and sarah did i just kind of stood there he tilted his head observing
us he paced the edge as if pondering his victims he was still a good ways away at this point at this point i was thinking he was perhaps a fucked up college student as multiple college students have wandered onto the property before i forgot to mention that they have a well -known abandoned house on their property as well that people like to visit why without even thinking i began to shout at him this is private property property i love your 12 year old ass people like private property motherfucker my friends were huddled on the edge of the trampoline hugging each other and periodically screaming
whenever he moved you need to leave do you want to be arrested i screamed at the approaching clown you're a queen as the clown slowly crept out of the woods he sporadically turned his head to the side as if observing his victims again i heard amy whimper something beside me clearing her throat as she She repeated her inaudible sentence a bit louder.
I think he has a knife.
I whipped my head back to the clown and sure enough, in his hand, the clown was clutching a long butcher knife, glinting in the low light.
My friends clung to each other.
Sarah had fat tears rolling down her cheeks.
I cleared my throat and continued yelling my empty threats.
Do you really think that this is worth jail time?
It's not too late to turn around and leave. You're a fucking queen.
But this bitch was not having it.
he was making his way closer and closer we were too far from the house to run to it he would have gotten us by then sarah unzip zip up the trampoline i commanded what just do it i don't know what i was thinking but i guess i thought it would save us like 30 seconds of life if you were to take the time to unzip it to get to us that's a knife sarah sarah zipped it up he was now at the edge his dark eyes taking us in oh then this bitch bent down slowly and went under the trampoline under the trampoline what a fucking dick wad and do not read further i'm not going to don't read okay sarah and amy
were screaming for their life he had a knife and could potentially cut through the trampoline or stab at us from underneath but i only had one thought in my mind jump on his head this was my last chance at saving us i start but like if you jump i'm like what if he sticks the knife up and you jump right on the knife i mean that's terrible but like what the fuck else are you i don't know because he can stab your booty man i started to run where he was jade what are you doing amy called after me i prepared my leap i was at least gonna make this clown regret messing with us before he killed us but as
i ran over to him and jumped to land on his head he came back up from under and he pulled off his mask and it was amy's dad the end are you fucking kidding me what the fuck is wrong with Amy's dad it was Amy's fucking dad what the fuck is wrong with Amy's dad I'm gonna go on the record and say sir what the fuck is wrong with you Amy's dad if my husband did that to my children I would divorce him what the fuck are you doing that is years of fucking therapy Amy's dad for life what if John did that to your children these are not my children so it's not my problem not my kids not my problem not my
problem what the fuck this is a hilariously horrifying story why did he do that to you because you know that's unhinged behavior he was in the cia that's unhinged behavior i don't know if he should be in the cia oh my god i love that story so much can you imagine going back home after that being like mom amy's dad dressed up like a fucking clown with a knife approached us from inside of the woods yeah and then crawled underneath the trampoline and then was like hell jk it's amy's dad i'd be like yeah you're not going to amy's house ever again i would file charges i don't know what kind but i filed
them do you remember though this is the same year that all the clowns were coming out of the woodwork do you remember john yeah i do remember john loved this time i was gonna ask you the same damn question do you remember your husband do you remember your husband i mean he didn't dress up at least no he didn't but one night i think we probably told this story probably a long time ago all all the crazy clown shit going on in 2016.
You'll get to that, Jade.
Wait, what? I said you'll get to that, Jade.
She's going back in time.
Oh, yes. I'm so sorry.
I was like, I don't understand.
Goodbye. Bye, grandma.
We were talking about it one night.
You'll get to that, Jade.
And then John, he, like, went to walk Bubba, and when he came back, he, like, slammed on the window.
Right on the window behind us.
Like, right where I was sitting, too.
So I yeeted myself into the dining room and he laughed so hard and laughed.
That man loves that kind of shit.
He does. And usually, honestly, he's not that great at it because we usually catch him, but not that night.
When he does it, though, and it works, he loves it.
Oh, man. Oh, man. Jade.
Jade. That was great.
That stressed me out.
It was the way Jade really like built that one up.
Yeah. She did the like dot, dot, dot.
he pulled off his mask and it was amy's dad the end i thought your dad like stabbed you no holy shit he's dead life doesn't happen bi -weekly so why should payday the money that you earn can be in your hands today with earnin earn it is an app that gives you access to your pay as you work up to $150 per day with a max of $750 between paydays.
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Today, I saved five dollars on a prescription for my grandpa because I pulled up the good rx app and I said look at this so you could save to save at the pharmacy this summer with good rx go to good rx .com slash morbid that's good rx .com slash morbid all right which one should I read next which one you read most of these didn't you um didn't yeah then yeah all right I'm gonna read listener tale that time the night stalker almost got my uncle wow wow wow almost is the key word here almost wow hi thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed this listener tale is attached as a double space puttafa and i
have also attached some pictures of my adorable fur babies white dog is olive posing with the book she was named after and the black dog is pax my little soulmate oh the white one only has one eye and it reminds me of bubba i know my god they're so beautiful and i like paxton sweatshirt a lot oh my god wow adorable okay um and i put pictures of me and my best friend and my mom and i because we are huge fans of your podcast and listen all the time well thank you all and we love you all right hello beautiful ladies my name is marian feel free to use my name and any others i mention i want to preface
this with the fact that this will likely be a bit long insert apologies that i don't really mean here i'm from a small town in utah but don't let the fact that i live in utah fool you into thinking that my life has been simple or boring because it has been anything but and i have so many crazy stories to tell from an accidental near -death experience or multiple to multiple different unexplicable paranormal -esque ones today i'm going to tell you two stories that are not my own but don't fret i have many of my own that i may write down and send you guys in the future if you'd be interested please
we are always interested i want to start by saying that i love your podcast for many reasons thank you thank you but a huge reason is because of the completely and utterly accepting environment you amazing women have created oh that makes me happy as i stated before i grew up and still live in a small and extremely extremely religious city in utah being someone that has always been incredibly into anything fantasy hell yeah movies tv shows games and especially books music that my peers considered strange at ghost and blue october i haven't heard of blue october they're good are they uh things
like the horror thriller and true crime genres and i god forbid shopped at hot topic back when it was more edgy.
Hell yeah. There was also the frequent usage of the fuck word and cussing is not widely accepted here.
I was always somewhat of an outcast. I'm one of them weirdos.
I was told my passion for fantasy was childish on a regular basis and that my interest in true crime and similar genres was creepy, among other colorful and creative insults.
That's so terrible.
You know what I say?
Fuck them. You know what I say?
It sounds like you're fucking cool as hell.
Yeah, you are the weirdos, mister.
Hell yeah. And we love you.
It didn't help that I'm not subscribed to a certain religion that is wildly popular in my desert state and that i was always open about the facts excuse me about that fact and my interest that didn't quite fit into the standards of said religion hey to each their own everybody can believe whatever the fuck they want and let everybody believe whatever the fuck they want yep live and let live that's what i say if you didn't already know it can be considered incredibly taboo in certain highly religious areas of my home state to have more than one piercing in your ears let alone have some on your
face like i do you well we'd all be fucked together don't even get me started on the dirty looks and even scrutinizing comments that i get about my tattoos oops on other oops i bet they're beautiful i have one that's a nordic uh oh a nordic rune with beautiful flowers that sounds that sounds it's uh excuse me its meaning is a peace between a mother and a daughter that my mom and best friend and i got together as my first tattoo obsessed love also are you norwegian girl we are heavily norwegian hell yeah you're heavily norwegian and are genuinely obsessed with embracing our cultures blue eyeballs
in those pictures elena loves a norwegian i love a norwegian john's a norwegian married a norwegian had norwegians had norwegians norwegian biblical ordered those eyeballs special order quite literally she said that the entire time she was pregnant i was like i want blue eyeballs all three of them have the gorgeousest eyeballs all four really yeah we are heavily norwegian and are genuinely obsessed with embracing our culture in all ways that we can hell yeah however i have had many strangers ask me things along the lines of is that satanic or something we nor we like you being norwegian are you
satanic those two things mutually excuse it because you're so otherworldly beautiful that's why jealous yeah i'm norwegian jealous and plenty more things that are absolutely absurd for a stranger to inquire about the state isn't all that bad but it's definitely unique and these are just my personal experiences and opinions here my amazing mother always told me let your freak flag fly darling and boy do i with no plans of stopping your mom sounds awesome and can we get a hell yeah hell yeah to this day she's never stopped never stopped encouraging me to completely Aww.
love both of these people I love all of you that's so cool your mom sounds so fucking cool like that's a great mom that's like the kind of mom I want to be yeah hell yeah that's the kind of mom you are oh thank you I hope to be that kind of mom and your best friend sounds rad too yeah truly I'm so happy that you have like them as support you need someone in your life especially when you're like a nerd who hyper fixates on things like hello my name is Elena you need people around you you that like are like no it's not annoying or weird i want to hear about it yeah you need people like that well
people that don't want to hear about it are not your friends yeah and they really bum you they bum you out when you're the person who's hyper fixating because they make you feel stupid about it yeah and that sucks exactly and you shouldn't feel stupid so i'm glad you have cool people around you that are like fuck yeah girl you deserve it anyway that was a lengthy way of stating that i regularly felt like an outsider and your typical strange and quiet kid in school that wasn't actually a freaky weirdo but was often assumed to be these last couple years i've been on a journey of really discovering
who i am because i've been 100 allowed to for the first time in my life oh yeah when i found your podcast and discovered the accepting of all no matter what environment it made me made me realize that i can find in people my own life as well i love you you guys played a big part in that even though you now have to read through a couple of unnecessary paragraphs of my life story before these tales i wanted you to know thank you that that's like wonderful and it's nice to hear that yeah like we created that and that like what we're wanting to say is coming across how we want to say it exactly that's
awesome i love you guys i thought you would want to know that what you guys do truly does mean a lot to many people you're gonna be fucking crying right now i'm being a blessing okay uh for many reasons you may not have even realized and even if you don't read this on the podcast i hope you see it so you You can at least read that.
I also thought you would need some backstory as to why your loving environment meant so much to me.
So thank you for reading and thank you for helping me realize that being interested in these things is normal.
Hell yeah. It is. I'm also realizing as I write this that it was a long -winded way of telling everyone in the morbid universe who my favorite Stranger Thing character is.
I bet I know. Although he wasn't my favorite until he made a Lord of the Rings book reference in the woods because same, Edward, same.
Yes. As somebody whose bookshelf is mostly fantasy and who makes strange fantasy references people usually don't understand, this spoke to me on a cellular level.
All right. Now that I've accidentally rambled on a bit too long, let's get into the story.
You did not ramble at all.
That was amazing. The crazy story of the time that my mom's brother was nearly true -crimed in the nighttime by none other than the infamous Richard Ramirez, a .k .a.
the Night Stalker. Damn.
You read that right.
Drunk me coined the phrase true -crimed in the nighttime, and sober me has never stopped using it since.
around the nights around the time the night stalker was doing his asshole true crime things my mom was a cute little fifth grader living in california my young mother was obviously horrified about what could happen to her and her two siblings and her mother her dad didn't live with them but i honestly don't think any of them were too concerned about that hoe i have talked to her about this and all of her memories of the time which she still remembers vividly i thought you guys might find an inside perspective from someone who was directly affected and traumatized by the horrible things this man did
interesting she can still recall the voices of reporters on the news with startling accuracy and remembers almost every detail about the case including the fact that it was people in the neighborhood not too far away from her own that finally took down that motherfucking living personification of greasy bog water the best takedown of a piece of shit that video is the best in history i wish every criminal was called like that i do too california baby that was that's great unfortunately before he was taken down in an epic citizen's arrest my mom was not sleeping at night she would stay up all night
staring into her backyard and watching the family dog to see if anything startled her she assumed that if anyone were to try to break in that the dog would be alerted the fact that she was five years old and worried about this grade oh fifth grade okay i'm silly but either way i mean still you're so young maybe you're like 10 or like 11 i don't know you're so young now there was one dreary night that my grandma was out of the house for a little while my 10 or 11 year old mom see i should have fucking read that first was staring out the window at the backyard her eyes trained on the family sleeping
golden golden retriever there was a stocky tree right outside of her bedroom window and the leaves began to rustle the only thing her young brain could think of was that the noise had belonged to the night stalker there was no other possibility it couldn't have been her black cat putty who loved being outside and climbing Of course, when in a state of current terror and constant general panic, the human brain is seldom wired to think clearly.
So she did what any terrified 10 -ish year old kid would do.
And she probably called the police and told them that the Night Stalker was trying to break into her house.
Honestly, good for her.
You know what? You'd rather be safe than sorry.
Within a few minutes, the police showed up.
The Night Stalker was nowhere to be found, but better safe than sorry.
There you go. Overreact.
Or in this case, serial murdered.
The police did their due diligence and searched the premises before clearing it.
but my mother's anxieties did not stop there far from it she did not sleep for months because of her ongoing fears if he were to show up at her house she wanted to know immediately so she could alert the rest of her family and hopefully keep them safe oh luckily he never did show up at their house she remembers hearing about every single time there were new victims on the news and her terror rising wondering if her family would be next that must have been awful seriously one night her older brother decided he was going to stay over at a friend's house this was a little worrisome for obvious reasons,
but they promised to be safe, so my grandma okayed it.
You can imagine the horror of the next morning when they heard that the Night Stalker had struck again on the same street where my uncle had stayed the night before.
Dickhole Ramirez had struck on that street in the house that was right next door to the one my uncle had slept over at.
There is some debate between my mom and grandma about whether it was the house right next door or if it was the one two houses down.
Either way. But my mom says she's positive it was next door, so we'll go with that.
I believe your mom.
honestly. It's so fortunate that he didn't become a victim, but it is extremely unfortunate that the next door neighbors did.
My mom can't remember the name of the family that this did end up happen, excuse me, that did end up his victims, but does remember that her family somewhat knew them.
Of course, we're all so thankful he didn't choose the house my uncle was in, but it's weird to feel glad about it because it was another family and people who also didn't deserve it instead.
Oh, that's so awful.
I know. There are undoubtedly a lot of conflicting emotions there.
It's like survivor's guilt.
It is, yeah. Like a different kind of form of it.
My uncle's now grown up to be a cop who has taken down some really awful dudes.
Oh, badass. So big that he and his family had to go to a witness protection once, which is part of the reason why the only names I've given are me and my best friends.
Damn. That's wild. Wow.
My mom has grown up to be an amazing nurse who helped so many people, and same with my aunt.
My grandma's still around, and even though we don't always see eye to eye, we do generally get along because they're are all always there for me whenever i need them i can't imagine what would have happened if any of them had been the victim of that shit kicking ass clown shit kicking ass clown is exactly what he was love that so much now if you aren't tired of my writing yet then i have another story about someone else i know who was almost true crimed in the nighttime by an infamous serial killer here in utah his name was ted bundy you may have heard of him never heard of him no some backstory
to how i know this one i met my current best friend close to six years ago when i was in junior high when i i was a junior in high school i met her through a co -worker and a little bit later she became a co -worker as well we were acquaintances for a little while and then it wasn't long until we were best fucking friends it's crazy how fast i went from thinking she was a chill person i wanted to know better to suddenly knowing that if anyone even looked at her wrong i would promptly be ready to aggressively throw these hands directly into their face these hands are a class two weapon and i am not afraid
to use hell yeah now back to the story this particular evening bundy decided to to wait for a victim in the parking lot of viewmont high school in centerville utah this is about five minutes from where i live now holy shit that's crazy my friend's grandma was going to drill practice at the school which was her high school at the time when she got out of the car he approached her and gave his usual crusty dusty lines about needing help to fix his lame car she basically told him sorry i don't know anything about cars gotta go i'm late and continued hurrying into the school if you've ever been on a drill
team or met someone in charge of one you know know that they do not fuck around she was like nope i gotta go she was like i am late and i must go i think even the most selfless and helpful person on this planet would not have stopped to help him if they were keeping the coach of a drill team waiting there you go also get inside that school girl fresh air is for dead yes by the time she left he was no longer there sadly he did come back later that night and take a different girl from view uh viewmont who did theater and was heading home after a school play she participated in deborah kent yeah
i think he's like 17 years old so crazy yeah oh when i think she was there actually if i remember correctly she was picking up her brother from school oh yeah like from the play i think it was yeah like the play was going on and she was picking him up i believe oh that's so sad and i think she she was one that um like he strangely kept at his home for a little while they don't know exactly exactly how long it was a very strange one he he had like such a weird yeah everything was like a little bit different yeah it was very strange so it's just like scary and so sad only 17 my god you're so young
like your whole life ahead of you well when she heard about the missing girl she immediately thought about the man in the parking lot and the fact that the girl went missing from her school she then remembered there was a serial killer at large and thought that was most likely him and could have easily been her once that intolerable bastard was caught and his His face was plastered all over the news.
Her grandma recognized him in the car they said he drove.
She wasn't one to give any stranger the time of day because fuck people you don't know.
But if she had simply been on time to her drill practice, she could have been Ted Bundy's victim that night.
Again, I'm glad she wasn't his victim because I wouldn't have my best friend if she had been.
But just like my uncle, it's hard to be completely glad when you know that someone else was still victimized instead.
Thank you, ladies, for taking the time to read this long fucking thing.
And I hope it wasn't too long or boring.
Cassidy and I absolutely love your podcast. And I think we'd shit our grown ass pants if we heard y 'all reading it in your amazing storytelling voices.
Your banter is the best to remind us of ourselves and the way we constantly bounce off of each other.
If you'd like to hear any supernatural, psychic, or near -death experience stories, then we would be happy to send them to you.
I've also attached pictures of my adorable animals because they deserve some recognition for their adorableness.
Always. And we love them.
Love them. We also have a haunted spooky road here in good old Utah.
if you'd like to hear about it yes congrats to ash and drew on the engagement slash wedding thank y 'all and congrats to elena on the book my nerd ass bought it and read it so fast that my mom and i are praying for a sequel you are getting one i read a lot of the sequel and it is great i hope to be a published author one day too and seeing other people succeed is always inspiring and motivating yeah you can do it ps i am obsessed with the cover oh thank you keep it weird but not so weird that you're almost true crime in the nighttime love cassidy and marion holy shit that That was so good.
I love you guys. You're so cute.
I love you guys. All right.
So, my next listener tale is called Girl, I Thought I Was Dead.
Girl, I'm glad you're not.
So, it says, hey, guys, it's me, your non -binary, they, them, pal.
Amelie. Amelie. And thank you for that pronunciation.
You said pronounce like Emily, but with an A in the beginning.
Amelie. I know a person named Amelie, so I'm assuming.
seeming uh so it says before i begin my i thought i died and saw jesus story i have to add the obligatory i love you segment morbid was the first podcast i ever lifted listened to and ma 'am y 'all set the bar way too high for other podcasts thank you so much listening to morbid is like talking to my best friends you guys are your best friends you guys are also part of what inspired me to study the criminology program at my university hell yeah well you guys and the fact that i was raised watching csi before bedtime since kindergarten relatable only kid in middle school that that knew what the english
word corpse hold on sorry i'm reading this too far away from my old eyes uh that knew what the english words were for corpse tombstone graveyard and autopsy needless to say that our english teacher was impressed yet slightly worried about that but hey making people a wee bit worried mixed with scared is what this trash mammal does best even without even trying some call it actively making poor life choices but i like to think of it like future amelie's problem anyway below i've added my story in the form of a puttafa feel free to shorten it if you want now read and enjoy please and sorry for spelling
grammar errors never be sorry all the best amelie let's see it says act one you beautiful human and our God you separated these into that's cool history of St. Lucia I was just looking at a property in St. Lucia not to buy I was like what the fuck I'm gonna go buy a property in St. Lucia I was just looking at a property in St. Lucia I was like what who are you who the fuck are you no shook me to my core yeah i'm moving just say what um there's this really cool i think it's like i don't know if you called a resort that's why i just said property but it's like a like vacation place where you can stay
and there's like no walls in the hotel room and you have um a view of this mountain i think it's called jade mountain oh that's beautiful it looks cool i was like whoa i think they're talking about a celebration of saint lucia but i'd like to go now i didn't want to come i was like i'm gonna let her finish you shouldn't have let me finish sometimes In 1920, a broke immigrant in Boston became one of America's richest, most infamous men practically overnight.
He swindled the modern equivalent of a quarter billion dollars and etched his name into history as the mastermind behind one of the most notorious scams ever, the Ponzi scheme.
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I'm just going to sip my Dr. Pepper.
I tried to say that as nice as I could.
so this story takes place on the 13th of december 2018 here in sweden every year we celebrate st lucia which i know is not really something you guys have in the us of a so i'll add a bit of background feel free to skip if i bore you i love this stuff also know that i've not slept well so things might be wilding things are always wild in these parts as you just saw as you just heard St. Lucia is said to have lived in Sicily between the years 286 to 304.
Picture it! So if I get things wrong about the legend just remember that I've never met the woman.
Anyway this dude, whoa uh, Dioclen Dioclete Tainis Dioclete Tainis I don't know Dioclenation Tination do we're gonna try cletaneous or tenacious tenacious d tenacious do wait wait you know what exists pronounce names .com pronounce names we're gonna do this i hope we get the french guy i do too i love that guy this is easy easy easy oh he's a daddy either way I don't know if you're supposed to say that about gods but he is you can Diocletian we were nowhere near that Diocletian but you know what they gave me a good little like aka one of the last Roman emperors who just didn't vibe with Christianity
oh so he is a zaddy he gave the order to burn all Christian books churches were to be torn and leaders of Christianity were to be killed okay not zaddy energy that is the opposite of zaddy energy zaddy doesn't kill he went he shall not kill as an empath i think he did not like christianity but i don't know i feel like i'd go out on a limb there our girl lucia name meaning something like carrier of light remember this came from a relatively well -off family work and was raised by a mother since her father died when she was young not work as a child she took a vow of chastity and wished to give to
the poor this was not something she told anyone even her own mother this ended up as a wee problem when she grew up and her mother wanted to marry her off to a man who was not christian but our girl was able to postpone the engagement every time while praying to god to save her from this marriage her mother however got sick with an incurable disease so after some persuading by saint by lucia they wish not saying yet when they went to say a goddess i hope i'm saying this right grave to pray for a cure saint agatis i'm gonna look it up probably agatis oh here we go no you can't get my autograph
you're supposed to sign nass to meet your prime the fuck agatis agatis you're supposed to say nass to meet your prime mikey just goes what is happening It's like a preview for an A24 movie.
So St. Agathys is said to have shown themselves to Lucia saying something like, Sis, why are you asking me when your faith has already healed her?
Direct quote. And so her mother was healed and promised Lucia that she wouldn't have to get married.
Instead, the dowry was given to the in need in Sicily.
Picture it. The suitor was real mad that he was rejected, cue eye roll, and tattled on her to our guy.
Diocletus. That guy.
guy right sounds awesome and lucia was then arrested and tortured however she never gave up her faith she was then ordered to become a sex worker at a brothel not really how i would personally describe what happened as she was to be taken to the brothel she was placed in this like cart thing can't remember the english word for it that was to be pulled by oxen's it was discovered that the cart was frozen to the ground then boiling oil was instead poured on her but she She was not hurt.
Last attempt to kill her was to stab her with a sword straight through her neck, but she did not die, not until someone came to do the anointing of the sick.
Other versions of the legend include one where a man is said to have fallen in love with her eyes, which prompted her to tear her eyes out and send them to him on a plate.
That is my version of the story.
That's bad bitch energy.
Amanda's like you have the most beautiful eyes and you just look right at him and then you rip them out of your fucking face.
And you're like eat them if you think they're so beautiful.
You like my eyes? Eat them!
Now apparently this made the man go and get baptized.
I bet it fucking did.
That man found Jesus.
Apparently she was later given new even more beautiful eyes by a miracle.
So like you rip your eyes out and then you get new ones?
Yeah! She's like use these up And then she's like, I would like new ones, please.
Oh, fuck. The thought of somebody plopping their eyes out really upsets me.
Now, during the 1300s in Sweden, we celebrated Lucia during one of the darkest nights in order to call for the light to scare off the evils in the dark.
I love Sweden. Today we celebrate Lucia in church and even in schools.
Do you just all rip your eyeballs out together?
I hope not. Also, you know who's from Sweden.
Tobias Forge. Yeah, we love Sweden over here.
I could never forget.
in schools all participating children are dressed up in these white dresses they wrote question mark with traditionally all the girls wearing wreaths young kids usually wear wreaths that are more sparkly because why not hell yeah and the guys wear this cone looking hat with stars that's that sounds like a wizard hat sounds like a great time merlin in kindergartens you can sometimes see even see some kids dressed as mini santas or even gingerbread men america sucks anyways all the the girls also wear this red ribbon around their waist that symbolizes the blood luscious shed for her face that's
metal and they say i know really metal i actually didn't even read that when i said everyone also carries one lit candle during the whole thing electric ones for the kiddos that's smart this also causes multiple people to faint every year also very metal of us and no one really does anything to stop this wait but like why do you guys faint i don't know i love that that they said also very metal they don't give you refreshments no one really does anything to stop this question mark we just have buckets of water close by and tell everyone that if they feel dizzy to blow their candle out for a while
oh because they're all walking around with a lit candle in a room together it's getting hot and they're dressed in these things it says it is wild and in the very front of this choir is the lucia traditionally played but play by a girl but But you know what?
It's 2023, so let's skip the boy versus girl thing.
Oh, yeah. The Lucia's dressed in the same white gown and red ribbon, but instead of a wreath, they wear this crown with like seven lit candles on it.
That's danger. Anyway, this Lucia choir then sings a bunch of songs, and then we eat these really good saffron buns to celebrate.
Have you ever had saffron?
I have. It's delicious.
It is. Act two, vibing with Jesus.
Never done that. So in 2018, when I, a then 15 year old, was part of the local church's youth choir, I was to be that year's Lucia. Oh, wow.
This was big for me since I had never been Lucia after some kids said that I can't be Lucia since I'm brown.
Fuck them. Meeting South Asian and that I should be a gingerbread man instead.
What a bunch of racist brats.
And yes, I was a gingerbread man during Lucia in kindergarten.
Anyway, casual racism aside, I was hyped to be the Lucia. That is a lot of racism.
Yeah, get you a you who can do both.
Hell yeah. However, I also have a record of random health problems and basically proof that survival of the fittest doesn't really work in a modern society, some of which include random dizziness, but I never fainted at least, foreshadowing.
This was obviously something we worried about, so we made sure that during the performance we had someone in the very front making sure that I don't faint and is ready with supplying me with water to drink and to make sure that I don't get turned into South Asian barbecue by seven candles on my head.
in this case it was a priest and let me just say she looked at me and kept moving her head around like we were in a one versus one basketball match she was like i'm not letting you go down baby we begin with the whole church lights out there were like i think 100 to 200 people in the audience so when everyone was seated we lit our candles and started walking and singing all good a bit nervous but you know what a you know what a dark church with only a few candles lit while we are are singing our whole show was also without any instrument is a vibe we sang a couple of songs all is well the priest
is still doing her little moves to check if i was good so i gave her a thumbs up but then i started feeling a bit warm and soon i felt like the world was spinning at this point i was like oh this is not ideal and i remember looking at the priest still singing and just shaking my head to show all is not well anymore then it all got dark when i opened my eyes again, all I saw was the blurry figure of a woman with long blonde hair smiling, looking down at me.
And behind her, I saw Jesus on the crucifix and this bright light.
At this point, I remember thinking, Welp, I guess I'm dead.
Jesus and an angel are here to collect my soul.
I was also confused, not by the fact that I had apparently died.
No, no, no. But because as I may have failed to mention earlier, I am Buddhist. How hard did did I die to see someone else's God?
Why was I, a Buddhist, in a Christian choir?
I don't know. I was just vibing.
But was I not supposed to be reincarnated?
Did I turn the wrong corner in the afterlife?
Oh no. During this confusion, the angel began speaking to me.
She said in a calm voice, hey, Amelie, do you know who I am?
I was silent since, well, you know, me dying and ending up in Christian heaven.
Like, where's Buddha?
She then laughs a bit at my silence before saying no of course not we've never met before okay then why do you ask me i mean y 'all not get some kind of training from god before doing this like how can you be underfunded in heaven i can take being dead like oh chill but do y 'all not have a functional working system up here damn during my during my mental tirade the angel then says you fainted oh i'm alive chill i fainted that's neat never done that before i'm alive chill being alive is like the least chill ever but i love i fainted that's neat never done that before turns out the angel was like
a doctor or something something was apparently in the crowd and the light was just the ceiling lamps that were turned down after i fainted oh so you were like you came too so you thought you died but but this was really just you coming to and lighting the lights.
Oh, so you're still Buddhist. You're still Buddhist. You're okay.
They said it's just the ceiling lamps that were turned on after I fainted.
Well, what I saw as Jesus was just chilling was the crucifix that hung from the ceiling.
Wow. They were in a church. While my vision was almost completely back to normal, I finally started to notice that the show was still going on.
It must. Everyone was still singing.
and when the current song was done my choir teacher ran up to me and asked you want to rest or do you want to keep going i as the rational person i am and knowing that oh boy i'm still dizzy said yeah sure let's keep going oh my god you can't stop a they from a sleigh fucking iconic iconic as i got helped up i noticed that they had removed the crown apparently as i fainted my choir teacher was able to run up and scoop up the crown before i hit the floor Honestly, very impressive.
As I stood up, I felt the priest putting on the crown.
I heard the sound of my teacher using the lighter to light the candles, which I did not know they were going to do since it all went so well the first time.
But in for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.
When all the candles were lit, a man in the audience yelled out, hooray for the Lucia and started applauding.
And with that confidence boost, I decided that I will make it through the show, candles on fire or not.
And so he kept singing.
And after the show was done, I was damn proud of myself.
I got some minor, what are you doing?
sit down and rest this is the last time you are lucia from my friends but the adrenaline kept me alive and full of energy that day i got lots of hugs from random people in the audience saying that they were so proud of me and honestly writing this i still am smiling by the kindness of everyone who was there and apparently from what i heard i fainted very elegantly a dramatic back of my hand to my forehead and all oh hell yeah for a few seconds some thought for a few seconds it was part of the show because it was so theatrical so at least i kept slaying till the very end can't off of a from a slide
i love that i love that they this may not have been the normal crime or supernatural listener tale but hey i thought believing i saw the wrong afterlife was close enough and it absolutely i hope you enjoyed reading it and if not i included another file in my mail with an attempt of animating one of my favorite morbid moments and as always keep it weird but not so weird you think you died and came to the wrong afterlife that's incredible that was amazing i'm quite literally obsessed with you truly amazing just the way you wrote that is chef's kiss so good so good chef's kiss i'm also looking up
amelie because they gave us their instagram yeah i was literally just gonna do that oh this is it oh my god oh my god that's so cool this is the coolest oh they drew us as two like superheroes i liked it i am also liking it and following you because you made us ripped you're my best friend now oh my god you are really talented that's so impressive holy shit that's so cool the detail on my belt is a planchette hell yeah that's so fun you are also ripped look at your arms that's badass and i love that color I know, and that's when I had my purple hair.
That's awesome. Thank you so much for doing that.
I know, thank you. You're talented.
You're crazy talented.
You are crazy talented.
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I'm going to read my next listener tale, How a Butter Knife and My Friends Manly Yell Probably Saved My Life.
Let's go. I'm just making sure I can read the news.
it's as i can hello weirdos my name is riley feel free to use my name and the names in the story i have attached a double space putafa to this email also do people usually write putafa or do you just read putafa as putafa i need to know uh yes i read pdf as putafa and when people write putafa i read it as putafa so basically no matter what you say we'll say putafa anyways i will absolutely freak out if this gets read on your podcast i've been listening for years and absolutely adore you guys your witty banter and humor has me almost peeing my pants and laughing out loud to myself which often creeps
my fiancee out when i have airpods in because it just sounds like i'm randomly laughing standing in the middle of the kitchen i'm realizing that last last sentence might not make sense so let me explain that we live in a house built in 1895 and some very creepy stuff has been happening my fiancee came up to me the day after we moved in and said why did you just say my name i calmly said i did not i was on the other side of the house and he says someone one or something spooky just whispered his name right into his ear we both about pooped our pants and the weird stuff has continued my fiance has always
said he will believe in ghosts once he experiences something and boy has he so i'm kind of down with the spooky stuff as long as it makes him finally realize that ghost spirits or whatever you want to call them are real i just keep talking out loud to the ghost saying please just let me know what you need in a non -creepy way and i can do it for you hell yeah but enough of the creepy whispering and knocking things over when i'm alone and enjoying some of that sweet green washington herb if anything major happens i will be sure to write it again but as of now i think that it is a nice ghost anyways
that is not what this story is about so let's get into it how a butter knife and my friend's manly yell probably saved my life i met my best friend hannah during my freshman year of college at the university of arizona we both didn't love the college or the vibe so halfway through our first year we said screw it and both applied to study abroad in Orvieto, Italy?
Oh, that sounded nice.
I hope. I liked it.
Okay, cool, thanks.
For the first semester of sophomore year.
Fast forward a few months and we both got accepted to study abroad and we were working our summer jobs in order to pay for all the amazing things we were about to experience in Italy.
We were only 19, so one of the main things we were excited about was that we could legally be able to drink.
Woo -hoo! Woo! I mean, seriously, when we landed in Rome, the first thing we did was go to the bar and get a drink before even checking if our train was on schedule.
But I digress. So we get to Orvieto, I hope.
Can you look it up for me?
Orvieto. You're welcome.
Orvieto. I like it.
I don't know if in Italy you roll your R like that, so I won't.
So we get to Orvieto, right?
Yeah. Orvieto, God.
And we meet all of our roommates and are loving experiencing the culture, food and people.
and the small town of Orvieto.
During the month of October we got a fall break which meant we got two weeks off of school to travel and experience life abroad.
Our roommate Allison, me and Hannah all decided it would be fun to travel to Greece for part of our fall break.
We would we would first fly to Athens and stay there for a few nights and then from Athens we would fly to Mykonos.
We booked our Airbnb, uh Airbnbs for both Athens and Mykonos and before we knew it we were on our flight to Athens.
When we got to Athens, we had to take a train from the airport to where we were staying.
And this was a challenge because none of us could speak or read Greek.
But after a few hours, we finally figured it out.
And we're stepping off the train into beautiful.
Nope, not beautiful.
We were stepping into what we did not know at the time was one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Greece.
Great. Awesome. It was dark and we pretty much sprinted to our Airbnb from the train station and did not leave until the next morning to go into the actual town of Athens and explore.
Ha! Tricked you. Nothing bad happens in Athens, even though it would have made more sense based on where we were staying.
Now it's time to go to Mykonos.
Mykonos. Mykonos. It just reminds me of, um, wasn't that where Lindsay Lohan's, uh, fucking, uh, goddammit, reality show was?
Oh, was it? Wasn't it, like, the one that she had with MTV?
I never finished watching it, but I think it was in Mykonos.
I don't think I ever actually watched it.
i only listen to sup podcast i love that show uh i think it was Mykonos so we get on our plan to fly from Athens to Mykonos i meant to say plane and then we find our beautiful airbnb it's a ground level studio that opens up to the blue and white cobblestone streets of Greece with blue shutters and we basically realize we are living out our mamma mia dreams hell yeah that's awesome the studio is one room and in that room is the kitchen and an area for three twin in beds.
Then there's a little door off to the side where the bathroom is.
The kitchen is near the front door and there's a little sink with shutters above it.
Now it is important to note for the story that most windows in Greece are just shutters.
Two shutters on the inside and two on the outside that hook together.
There is no glass. So we're settling into our Airbnb and it's about 8 p .m. when we decide we should go out for some drinks.
We start walking around the town and find this bar that's right on the water.
When we walk in there's a small wedding party going on and and they're handing out free drinks to everyone and blasting Mamma Mia.
Mamma Mia, here I go again.
Staying at this bar was an obvious and easy choice.
All three of us are having the best time drinking, meeting people from all over the world, and just dancing the night away.
Around 1 a .m., we decide that it's time to go back to our Airbnb, so we head out.
After walking for a minute, we kind of realize we are not too sure how to get home, but the island is small, and we generally know where our place is.
We keep walking, and something in my gut tells me to turn around.
When I do, I see a man walking just far away enough from us to notice him.
He shouts at us, Hi, girls.
Do you need some help?
Just like that. I don't know.
It just came to me.
Hi, girls. He's in Greece.
Hi, girls. Do you need some help?
You hear that in Greece?
Run. That's not Greece.
I don't know. I just wanted to yell it like that.
My morbid brain immediately jumps into action.
I say, no, we are fine.
Screw the thank you and being polite.
There's no room to be nice when it's dark and you're kind of lost in a different country.
Bye. So we keep walking and are chatting to each other when I turn around again and the man is still behind us.
We know where we are now and are only about one minute from our place and my gut was telling me don't show him where you live.
Hell yeah. You get it.
There's a corner coming up and as I turn to take it, I yank both of my friends by their shirts around the corner and we crouch down behind a small wall to hide.
Good for you. The man walks right past us.
We realize our front door is directly across from where we are.
Once the man is out of sight, me and my friends run to the front door, unlock it, and go inside.
My heart is racing.
Hannah goes to lay down in one of the beds, but I suggest to Allison that we barricade the door and the windows so if he somehow saw where we live and tries to get in, then all the stuff will fall over and wake us up.
Smart. Very smart. So we stack our suitcases and chairs in front of the front door, and then we stack plates and cups in front of the window above the sink.
That's so smart. That was really smart.
That's what my mom did in Boston when the Boston Strangler was around.
I was just thinking that.
and to think of that like after a night of drinking is especially i'm like that's very impressive we also agree that we should grab some type of defense tool from the kitchen but when we begin looking for something all the airbnb has is freaking butter knives butter knives i can't even cut butter straight out of the fridge with a butter knife but it'll have to do so allison and i grabbed the butter knives setting one next to peacefully sleeping hannah and we get into our beds we decide to keep the lights on because that shit was scary and after about 30 minutes we both fall asleep around 4 a .m
i wake up and hear a noise it sounds like the shutters above the sink are banging against each other like that i decide to wake allison up and i say hey do you hear that noise it sounds like the shutters are moving she's half asleep and says it's probably just the wind in my mind i'm thinking the wind we just got followed home and barricaded the door in fear but also she could be right and i'm probably paranoid so i get back into my bed and keep my eyes locked on the shutters above the kitchen sink as i do the banging gets louder and and I see them begin to shake in and out of the window slot.
This time, I spring out of bed with my butter knife and shake Allison awake.
She immediately looks at the shutters and goes, okay, probably not the wind.
We both quietly and slowly walk over to the shutters, Allison in front and me directly behind her.
Our pitiful butter knives are held up near our ears, and Allison opens the shutters.
You went from ears to ears.
Ears. It was like ears, ears.
when you really have to pronounce an r for some reason it does just go like southern.
It gets had. Ears. It's hard to pronounce.
Hard. An r. I must go.
There halfway through our window is the man who followed us home with a black ski mask pulled over his face.
Oh fuck that. Kill him.
Kill him. Kill him.
We lock eyes and my friend Allison lets out the manliest scream yell that I have ever heard. So maybe it was her that was saying that earlier.
Hey girls. Hey girls.
so is allison she's like oh like what is a manly yell you see this intruder in your window and you're just like the face that went along with that just made me spit everywhere oh man the man freezes then quickly backs out of the shutters alice and i slim shutters closed and run to grab our phones hannah's awake at this point we're all pretty much just shitting our pants madly screaming for me it's great we huddle up the bed as alice and call the police but the language barrier is making it impossible for them to know where we're located the police simply say that they're on their way and hang up
at this point it's about 4 30 a .m i facetime my mom to let her know what's going on and she is freaking out but but also calming me down.
I start to feel sick, partially because my hangover is starting to make an appearance and partially because I'm traumatized and I throw up in the trash can.
I would too. Honestly.
30 minutes later, the police still aren't there so we call them back and they ask us if we can go outside in the dark to try to find them.
I grab the phone, it was not my best moment, and start yelling at them to freaking find us before the man comes back and that no, I will not be going outside when he could be waiting right there.
Honestly, your finest moment.
Don't worry about it.
All the police say is that they'll continue to try to find us.
We all sit on the bed waiting for them to arrive, keeping in contact with our family.
When the police finally do arrive, it is 8 a .m. Yup, 8 a .m. It took them over three hours to find us when we were literally in the heart of Mykonos.
Wow, that's upsetting.
When they get there, they ask us questions and we try to explain what happened to the best of our ability.
When we finally go outside, we see a huge black footprint on the window platform where he tried to come in.
Jeez. That's terrifying.
fine they take our statements and leave saying they'll update us if they find anything we never heard from them again awesome after the police left we notified the airbnb host about what happened and she was just an angel she gave us a full refund apologized profusely saying that nothing like this has ever happened at the airbnb and even recommended a safe hotel on the island what a mama bear we got out of that airbnb so fast and went to check into the hotel that night in the hotel we barricaded everything again just in case and all slept huddled together we ended up staying in mykonos and it
still is my favorite place i visited while studying abroad so don't let this story stop you from going maybe you just know where your airbnb is and get home before 1am there you go i'm still left wondering what he wanted us our passports money who knows all i know is screw that guy truly honestly when we got back home from studying abroad i got broken into two more times wow no i was not drunk yes the doors were locked yes i was being smart and safe I guess I just attract this stuff I've gone to therapy for real I've gone to therapy because having this happen to you three times messes with you
pretty bad and I'm happy to say that I'm doing better oh I'm glad we got a dog her name is Daisy and she makes me feel so safe oh dogs are the best they know they'll fuck people up for you she actually scared the guy off during the second break go Daisy I included pictures of her and my two other kitty cats as well as the footprint on the next page also we got we just got SimpliSafe And I love that shit.
Hell yeah. It's the best. Anywho, I hope you enjoyed my tale.
And thank you. Take it away, Ash.
Keep it weird, but not so weird that you try to live out your Mamma Mia dreams, and then a creepy man follows you home, and all you have to defend yourself is butter knives, and the police don't find you for over three hours.
Bye. Whoa. Oh, my God.
Daisy is a beautiful, beautiful muffin that I literally just want to snuggle.
I love her. Daisy, May.
And that shoe print is horrifying.
Oh, my God. And your cats Theo, Ted, and Mr. Munchie Man.
Mr. Munchie Man. oh my god oh my god that's like a straight up footprint that man had a huge ass yeah that's scary as hell oh my god you're so pretty I don't like that you have great hair you have great hair great hair um wow that was absolutely terrifying yeah hated it hated it well that was a fantastical installment of listener tales it was like slightly international at times uh but yeah most times right yeah it was like by slightly i mean it was international sometimes yeah not slightly it's never slightly international international sometimes oh my god but wow you guys some of those were hilarious
some of those were terrifying yeah and fucking amy's dad amy's fucking i'm stuck on amy's dad i know mine were like like silly goofy what the hell amy which was fun crazy i love it well if you would like to send your listener tale in please send it to morbid podcast at gmail .com with listener tales somewhere in the subject line and then a silly little goofy thing to catch our attention woo um and we love you and we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it weird but not somewhere that you pull an Amy's dad because what the fuck Amy's dad I'm never gonna be over that Ash is so upset about Amy's
dad who does that Amy's dad hopefully just him © transcript Emily Beynon To be continued...
Hear that? That's the sound of Cinnamon Toast Crunch telling us it's crunch time as we gear up for another year of cereal training camp.
Last year, a dynamic brother duo competed and won the right to make their very own cereal.
They named it the Kelsey Mix.
This summer, the energy is being brought straight from the end zone to the breakfast aisle with three cereal -loving wide receivers, Justin Jefferson, Amon Ross St. Brown, and Jamar Chase.
You can You can find these football stars on limited edition cereal boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky Charms, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Reese's Puffs cereal starting in August. And don't miss out on Justin Jefferson's Jetta's Mix, a fruity fusion of Frosted Lemon Cheerios and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Strawberry for a limited time only.
Be sure to score them all, where every bite tastes like a touchdown.
