Hey weirdos, before we unleash today's macabre mystery, we were wondering, have you ever heard of Wondery Plus?
It's like a secret passage to an ad -free lair with early access to episodes.
You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or in Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
You're listening to a Morbid Network Podcast. Listening on Audible helps your imagination soar.
Whether you listen to stories, motivation, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, and new ways of thinking.
Listening can lead to positive changes in your mood, your habits, and ultimately, your overall well -being.
Audible has an incredible selection of over one million audiobooks, podcasts, and audible originals, all in one easy app.
Find the genres you love and discover new ones.
Explore bestsellers, new releases, plus thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts, and originals that members can listen to all All They Want with more added all the time.
Right now, I am listening to The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix, and I just cannot get enough of it.
I never want to pause it.
I'm literally like loading the dishwasher listening to it, on the treadmill listening to it constantly.
It's so awesome. I love being able to listen anytime, anywhere I want to.
And there's more to imagine when you listen.
Sign up for a free 30 -day Audible trial, and your first audiobook is free.
Visit audible .com slash morbid.
You know what time it is?
It's time for a fresh approach to dog food.
And that's where the Farmer's Dog comes in.
Developed by board -certified nutritionists, which is pretty impressive, the Farmer's Dog is human -grade dog food that's made with real meat and veggies and gently cooked to preserve those nutrients.
Traditional pet food is highly processed and difficult to portion correctly, but the Farmer's Dog, it's changed that with their freshly made food.
They take the guesswork out of serving sizes by precisely portioning your dog's food based on their very unique nutritional needs.
Sidney and Blanche are eating the Farmer's Dog right now, and we absolutely love it.
What's really fun is each packet has their name on it, so it says Blanche's Food, Sidney's Food, which is just fun.
They love it. They can't read, but I kind of pretend that they do.
Maybe they can. Maybe they can.
Who am I to say? Get 50 % off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog .com slash morbid.
Plus, you get free shipping.
Just go to the farmersdog .com slash morbid to get 50 % off.
That's thefarmersdog .com slash morbid.
Hey, weirdos. I'm Elena.
I'm Ash. And this is Morbid.
whoa it's listener tale i fucking love listener tales and for some reason i feel like we haven't done a listener tale in so long thank you when we said it was listener tale week i was like wait a second it's been four and a half years though truly since the last one i don't even it was with john lee brody yeah and i think the one before that was with bailey sarian yeah because Because we had guests on them for a little bit, it felt different.
Not in a bad way. But it felt like we didn't do them forever.
Yeah, it did feel that way.
Very strange. Very.
But here we are. Here we are, back in action.
Just Ash and Elaine.
Just Ash and Elaine.
Dents of Listener's House.
I have a new nickname.
Yeah, just call it.
I don't think I've ever called you Elaine in my life.
No, you have not. No one has.
Because Elaine is an entirely different name.
And it's just taking away the, uh.
Yeah, you might as well just say it.
I usually call you Lingy, if anything.
Yeah, you do. that's true yeah yeah but i can't say that but we you can't do it listener no but uh deb deb put together a good group and a little listener tales here doesn't she always pour one out for deborah deborah always pour one out for deb deb deborah deborah and i think you're gonna start right no no well shit we're just gonna sit here in silence then yeah no we we agreed before that i would start we did we had a discussion want to start with the best so of course here i am first is the worst second is the best just saying mikey is the one with the hair he was just so immersed in work and he's
like what he had his headphones on he's like excuse me i'm i'm the worst elena's the best and you're the one with the hairy chest yeah you're great you're great all right well the first listener tale is called listener tale Mediocre Medium, the true tale of a second rate psychic and the uncle who haunted her for years before yeeting himself into Generation Z by sheer will and determination.
Wow. I would say one more time for the people in the back, but it's a hard no for me.
That's a great title.
Fan fucking tastic.
I love that. Let me zoom into this because now that I'm 27, I am geriatric.
Oh my God. What does that mean?
Hey weirdos, I'll sherton, I'm already off to a good start.
I'll shorten in this diatribe with the assurance that i have written before so i know you are already aware of how much i worship at the feet of my podcast princesses every underfilled moment of my life damn but for the sake of the people involved in this tale i would ask that you omit my real name and refer instead to my alter ego who rarely makes appearances unless she's drunk so welcome to the inner sanctum affectionately known as esmerelda tofflemare esmerelda tofflemare obviously hell yeah distant cousin of the illustrious illustrious thank you illustrious anastasia babe beaverhausen beaverhausen
insert will and grace reference here did you watch will and grace i did i wasn't like a i didn't stay forever but i i like will and grace i never watched it it was a great show yeah i should try um and the north woods new jersey witch with too many kids and too few fucks left to give hell yeah hell yeah while my home altar may be dedicated to salacia goddess of seawater that's beautiful i'm obsessed with you i am too you have good vibes rest assured that my brain altar is completely dedicated to you morbidly mystical mavens i had to swallow a burp and your supernatural abilities to keep my life
on track i'm glad we're keeping your life on track because mine is a rye as you can tell with me swallowing a burp in the middle of my job.
Anyways, as a purposefully – yes, purposefully.
Purposely. You got this.
God. I'm ready for you to get this.
Under -medicated practitioner of the art of ADHD, even come crunch time, I know I can accomplish anything I put my distracted mind to if I just tune into the podcast and pour another espresso shot into the oversized mug of coffee I've already reheated 32 times today because working parent.
Wow. Never related to something more in my life.
i don't know if Alina relates to that so heavily because you constantly forget where your coffee is.
And it's always in the microwave. Always in the microwave. Yesterday, she's looking for it.
And then come lunchtime, I go to heat up my lunch. I'm like, oh, here it is.
Here it is. Yep. And then she wrote or excuse me, they wrote looking at you.
You get it. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
But anywho, please don't get bored and not open this double spaced 14 point font attached putt a fa.
I promise it's not a continuance of this word soup i've served you so far i love it okay promise may be too strong a word but i digress i'd say feel free to edit for brevity but let's face it if you've already read through the appetizer i highly doubt you'll shorten the dessert this tale is a lengthy one coming in at around 16 minutes yes i timed it but i am a fast reader and talker so maybe more like 16 no i'm not because never be sorry sorry yeah did i skip over this yeah you just said no it's been a while since we did a listener deal maybe 16 no i'm not because it's silly goofy mood time okay
everybody i'm putting my hair up so a little backstory when i was little i used to hear my name being called sometimes faintly sometimes right in my ear but no one was ever there i had a not so imaginary friend named bobby until my mother destroyer of dreams dreams decided to evict him my mother is also a destroyer of dreams imagine that are they friends do they know each other no my mom doesn't have friends but next friend was laura but i was sharp enough not to give my mother those deets fool me once shame on me fool me twice i may end up on a dateline special and orange is not my color hey
yo i knew bobby and laura were as real as you and i as real as the man who used to walk past my room every night as real as the indigenous teen who who stared at the sky from my backyard. That sounds, like, beautiful.
I know. But as far as Mommy Dearest was concerned, if she couldn't see it, it did not exist. Oh.
My little sister, on the other hand, was less six cents and more Nostradamus.
Wow. She had an uncanny knack for pulling information out of thin air.
She could call out the lottery picks five minutes before Yolanda Vega called them.
She knew what hands other people had when we played gin rummy.
Get her to Vegas. For real.
She once stated she was thirsty while we were visiting an old Spanish fort and just wandered off.
When we found her, she was staring into a boarded up well, saying she didn't understand who could have moved all the water.
What? Yeah, we are freaks, but we've made peace with our demons and sometimes snuggle with them.
I'm literally obsessed with you.
I am too. Because I was the decidedly awkward child, both socially and physically, I didn't really have many real life friends.
Kids in school called me a know -it -all.
I was. Hello, undiagnosed ASD and ADHD.
I also hear that, so don't worry.
own it oh i've never said that to you um and a bitch yeah elena's heard that before i wasn't i just didn't understand social nuances and masking i also feel that i was very short and my slight frame was also rudely referenced by children and adults alike pull it together society you said i was too thin when i was little and now you say i'm too fat as an adult pick one yeah that is literally so hell yeah so my schedule was was always wide open, making me readily available for chores and peer tutoring and being my mother's favorite victim of opportunity.
Which brings me to my story.
I'm sorry. My tale begins in May of 1989.
I was 11 years old, and my parents said they were going to the movies.
They couldn't find a babysitter, and my friendless ass was just disappointing my social climbing mother by lolling on the grass with a book instead of a boyfriend.
So I guess she figured I was the next best thing.
This would be my first time being home alone with my six -year -old sister.
I'm sorry, but 11 years old babysitting a six -year -old is way too young that feels young that feels way too young to be home by yourself I only had to watch her till we went to bed about three hours and it was still daylight when they left so I was reasonably confident that everything would be a -okay at the time my uncle my mother's brother often couch surfed at her house a street soldier for the mob he had a bit of a checkered past and was frequent and a frequent guest of the state if you know you know since my sister and I were so young if po -po came looking for oh i thought you called him popo
people have different names for their family i don't know uncle popo came it's ironic if the popo came looking for him my mom would say they were special security escorting him to some government event if he was sentenced to time my mom would call these stays off at college wow much to my mother's chagrin the nerdy book room that i was felt so impressed with my uncle's dedication to higher learning i would often brag about his staunch commitment to academia friends of the family would ask my mom how's your brother holding up and I would happily cheer about how smart he was I'm obsessed with this my
parents would roll their eyes and reply as well as can be expected secretly I knew they were probably just jealous of his intellectual prowess fucking amateurs am I right you are right but anyway back to the night in question I love you you're so much fun you know those photos sitting in your phone the ones that make you smile every time you scroll past them well at smallwoodhome .com they believe that you deserve better than that smallwood home transforms your favorite memories into stunning gallery quality artwork that tells your story All you have to do is upload your photo to smallwoodhome
.com, choose your style from classic framed prints to elegant wrapped canvases, and they'll handle the rest. With natural wood finishes like stained, almond, black, or white, plus options for sleek acrylic fronts, there is a perfect match for every home.
And the best part? Every Smallwood Home piece is handcrafted right here in the USA by real artisans who care about quality.
no assembly lines no shortcuts just beautiful personalized art that is made to last i love a handcrafted thing over three million happy customers have already discovered why smallwood home .com is just different they deliver gallery quality at prices that make sense and ship in just days i have so many photos in my phone that i'm about to send over to them that i can finally hang up on my walls and i'm really excited about it right now get 30 off when you use code morbid at smallwoodhome .com.
That's promo code Morbid to get 30 % off your first order at smallwoodhome .com.
Give your memories the showcase they deserve.
I am absolutely obsessed with a sweet treat after dinner and my favorite sweet treat right now is my mochi.
It's mine, not yours.
Just kidding. You can have some too.
This is a cool creamy scoop of ice cream wrapped in a soft chewy dough.
It's like a sweet little ice cream dumpling or ravioli.
I'm obsessed. It's pillowy.
It's satisfying. I feel indulged.
I just love it so much. I really am obsessed with the strawberry flavor right now.
My mochi is only around 70 calories per piece, which like, hello, that's amazing.
My mochi is gluten -free, and each box has six perfectly portioned mochi snacks.
Do I eat two a night?
Yeah, yeah, I do, because they're that good.
And guess what? My mochi is the number one mochi ice cream in the U .S. of A.
The strawberry flavor is bursting with fresh picked fruit flavor that tastes incredibly refreshing.
I love, love, love them after dinner.
This August, look for the purple box of My Mochi ice cream at your local grocery store and feel joyfully chill with the coolest treat around, My Mochi.
I was about three quarters of the way through my stint as honorary member of the babysitter's club and was doing quite well if you asked me.
My sister and I had already eaten in about half the contents of the snack cabinet and brilliant as we were carefully hidden all the evidence and wrappers behind the healthy cereal boxes that my mom insisted on buying and that no one in our house ever touched my sister was safely tucked away in bed and i was in my bedroom with the lights out brave bitch and the tv on back then there was actual music on so i was quite contendedly eating candy and watching madonna worship a crucified man while undulating in black lace on my screen.
I was obsessed with that music video.
I don't think I've ever seen that music video.
Well, we're going to show it to you after this.
I love that. I can't wait.
It's iconic. You know, totally appropriate viewing for an 11 year old in the 80s.
As one does, I reached over to my dresser and grabbed my heavy, heavy silver plate brush, the one that everyone's Nana bought them in the 80s.
Yep. Ma still has hers.
Yep. And I started using it as a microphone and dancing around on my bed to make my two by four of a prepubescent body create the moves.
I was watching Madge perform whilst probably actually looking like I was having a seizure.
Of course, as we all know, it is only when we are dancing like nobody is watching that someone will inevitably be watching through spinning madly.
I shot my best sultry look over over my bird bone of a shoulder just as my bedroom door was opening.
and my uncle peeked his head into the room to his credit he didn't laugh at me he just waved and walked back out into the hallway presumably to lay on the couch and watch some inappropriate programming of his own knowing he was probably tired from all his studying I turned down the volume and tuned in whatever mundane and disgustingly family -friendly tv show that would have been popular in that era and waited for my parents to come home and hopefully pay me for my my superior babysitting skills about an hour later my mom came into my bedroom where i was now dutifully in my pjs brushing my knee
-length stick straight hair that i would give almost anything to have back my third pregnancy fucked me up y 'all one day i had a luscious cascade of sleek hair and by the end of those nine months i have had a curly mess reminiscent of deborah messing in the unflattering college flashback scenes of will and grace i feel that so hard I your hair looks great though I gave my hair to my kids I know I'm glad they at least have it that's funny I literally told them that today yeah I was like enjoy it I was like you guys have beautiful hair you stole it from my mom was not pleased that the tv was still
on and semi -loudly admonished me for not being in bed yet I apologized and silently seed that seethed that this would definitely dash my dreams of being financially compensated for my efforts and warned her not to to talk too loudly because my uncle was sleeping on the couch ladies when i say i should have just yes ma 'am my way under the covers and shut the fuck up i mean i should have yes ma 'am my way under the covers and shut the fuck up my mother stood uh stock still a look of absolute rage on her face oh no i don't like this at all my mom exists in a world where there are only two occasions
worth moving at the speed of light one is trigger warning the rope drop at disney world that is a trigger warning sorry Alina and I must shamefully confess that trait uh has somehow been passed down to me thankfully being a Disney adult is the only toxic trait I have inherited from my egg darler though and the other is disciplining her children oh no oh I'm really upset about this no matter how prepared you may think you are for this woman woman's outburst of fury you're wrong we're talking breakneck speed here one minute minute you're standing at the top of the stairs talking on the phone and the next
minute you're dangling above the staircase suspended by your little house on the prairie braids.
Oh my god. I hate this.
On this particular occasion, she employed the old swipe and strike.
In one deft maneuver, she thwopped me on the head with my own brush before I even had the good sense to duck.
Assuming my error had been telling her to lower her voice, I hastily apologized and assured her I was just trying to be helpful, but she wasn't having it.
This is really terrible.
She leaned over the bed and coldly informed me that she did not know how I had found out where she had really gone that evening, but that joking about her brother being in the house during her brother's funeral wake was neither amusing nor acceptable oh wow okay that's horrifying in every way that can be horrifying all the ways i'm really sorry that like broke my heart to think of you like apologizing for just saying a sentence like and it's just like so sad to like think of you one second dancing to madonna in the next second being whacked in the face with a brush because you you spoke to your
mother yeah i'm sorry fucked up but yep i saw my uncle in my room the same night he was having his visitation at the funeral home i know he wasn't trying to start shit but damn if he needed to say goodbye he could have at least waited until i knew he was gone am i right i know he wasn't trying to start shit i tried to i tried to explain it to my mom that i did not know how i had seen him or how to make it happen again to which my mom remarked that she guessed I was a mediocre medium wasn't I no you're a great medium yeah she's being a coon having no idea what a medium was I gave up and went to
bed and then you just went to bed oh it just like breaks my heart yeah and what a way to tell you that your uncle's passed yeah what did size have to do with seeing people nobody could nobody else could see ha ha it's true so yeah I now knew for sure I could see dead people especially that particular dead person over the next 10 years he would turn up in my living room my hallway my bathroom mirror which tbh scared the ever loving shit out of me we had a little chat after that wherein i heartily encouraged him to move on don't show up in mirrors nah but overall i accepted it i chatted out loud
while doing dishes and vacuuming and the uh and one day he just seemed to have taken my advice and left as one does when one is deceased or so i thought fast forward a few months and i was working through a mind -numbing divorce oh my god i'm sorry i moved with my children into a 200 year old farmhouse surrounded by cornfields the motherfucking dream yeah yeah i know today me is smarter but yesterdecade me was young and dumb and full of romantic ideas i get it i get it and don't call yourself an idiot you're no you're not you're very smart excuse me that was really um a funny clearing of the throat that was funny
excuse me while i'm funny the house was beautiful and thankfully so were its ghosts my older daughter would often tell me about the woman who would sing to them and she would play endless games in her room with her imaginary friend teddy i'd like to think i'm a good mother i know you are i definitely know you are but i'm pretty sure a good mother would have called a priest or an exorcist at that point but nope not me someone they were being nice yeah exactly and they're making your kids happy who cares someone wants to keep my kids out of my hair so i can have some me time fuck yeah i'm in even
if they happen to to be on a live like just stay away from the light carolyn other than that have at it i love you so much so one day my mother calls me and invites us to dinner oh no oh don't go there don't go there reluctantly i agreed my mom was uh not the best company but back then she liked people to believe that she was a great cook so she'd order for what an asshole she'd order order for bougie ass restaurants and replayed everything and i'm always that sounds like like something she'd do it does i know her now yeah i get her and i'm always down for some free fancy pants cuisine so we went
upon entering the dining room i noticed that she'd hung a photo of my late uncle up on the wall before i could even explain who it was my older daughter exclaimed it's teddy oh my goodness i'm sorry what no darling it is most assuredly not teddy but there it was the sudden realization that his name was something similar enough to that a small child could have misunderstood or mispronounced it to be teddy wow my uncle had not moved on he had moved in i kind of love this i do too i hope i hope you do too yeah because it sounds like he knew that like you needed protection or like something to make
you happy you know then he's hanging out with your kids just being a nice uncle and like giving you time for yourself like i love your uncle shortly after this enlightening occasion i moved again this time to a lake community my My Nana passed away and sightings of my uncle became rarer satisfied that he had gone on with his mama.
I looked forward to occupying a space where I knew everyone I lived with and everyone had a pulse until I realized that I may have jumped the gun.
One day I emptied my kitchen counter in order to deep clean the formica for Micah for Micah.
Yes, for Micah. We're just classy like that.
What is it for Micah?
I don't know how to describe it.
How would you describe for Micah?
kind of like linoleum yeah linoleum a little bit yeah oh okay so to clean that to clean that oh it's like what the kitchen counter is made of i see okay okay so yeah placing the last item on the kitchen table i grabbed a rag and some bleach and turned back to the just cleaned off countertop to find it no longer cleared in a straight line from one end of the counter to the other was a series of dimes they say that dimes um are used by like the dead to communicate it was still early days for the interweb so i asked jeeves oh my god you know you know if you also if you've listened to that megan the stallion song
love that um what that could mean and was relieved to find out that it was a good omen a message of love from the other side satisfied i was not living in the amityville horror house i swooped the dimes into my pocket pocketbook tossed it on the table and cleaned the countertop.
Whap! Something collapsed on the linoleum floor.
Startled, I spun around to see what fell.
It was my pocketbook.
Now, this thing wasn't teetering on the edge of the table.
It was dead center of it, and none of the other items were on the floor, so even if it had somehow slid across the surface, it could not have averted all the other items without pushing them down as well.
No. This thing was clearly lifted and dropped onto the floor.
I hurriedly collected the dimes back out of my bag and put them in a mason jar on my windowsill where they remained for years without further incident i love that after that for the better part of a decade i experienced nothing out of the ordinary my older daughter did but we worked through her fears and while hers never completely went away she did learn how to manage it well wow i joked to myself that while i was maybe a failed medium she was an accomplished small oh that's really cute and i kind of love I love that you took your mom's, like, insult.
Insult and made it a nice, like, memory for you.
It made it a nice. It made it a nice.
You made it nice. Over the course of several years, she would tell me about impending storms and natural disasters, people who were or who would soon be pregnant, and if she saw anyone we knew who had messages for us, our nana, our grandfather, friends who left too soon, et cetera, et cetera.
Nothing terribly scary, just random info.
My younger daughter also developed a limited ability to see a deceased friend visited her room excuse me to see a deceased friend visited her in her room but by the next sorry but by the time the next kiddo in line was born the trait seemed to have died out of the bloodline things had so completely settled down that i never even thought to tell my now husband about any of it until we were pregnant with my youngest child shortly after finding out he was a boy we were trying to we were trying out different names for some reason it was was really nagging at me to name this one after my uncle the poll
was so strong i even dreamed about it one day my husband suggested my uncle's name out of the blue i happily agreed and told him the whole story i thought it would be a nice way to honor the man who checked up on us so steadily and for so many years so when the time came that's exactly what we did i love that i do too but oh no well ladies that may have been a teensy mistake this is a roller coaster this is Is?
From the time my youngest would talk, oh my God.
From the time my youngest could talk, he would say the creepiest things.
One time he asked if we could take the train, trigger warning, to Disney World like we did before.
I told him we always drove there and that he had never been on that train.
He went on to correct me telling me that of course he had been.
The interior was blue and the blanket we had on his seat was blue velvet.
Electricity shot through my body.
I remembered that ride.
It was an extended family vacation.
Everyone had story had been there, but it happened when I was four years old.
That's freaky. I steered him away from the train conversation and told him we would most assuredly be going to Disney, but by car.
My son agreed that that would be okay, and then asked if he could ride with another family member like he used to on the ride down.
Holy shit. Again, this child has never ridden with anyone but us, but sure enough, he perfectly described the brand new Oldsmobile we'd taken to Florida with that family member when i was around six years old he eventually dropped it but later on he asked if he could get new mickey ears with his name stitched onto them like he used to have god now i already warned you that i'm a disney adult so yes my kid already had several sets of mickey ears but they were all themed ears like r2d2 and toy story none were just regular ears he had never had a pair with his name on them because the 21st century
is scary as fuck and there are too many any weirdos who could use that info to harm him i'm not stupid i listen to morbid podcast y 'all i told him he could get new ears but that he had never had ones like he had described and the new ones probably wouldn't be like that either he rolled his eyes at me and said that he did too in fact have a pair with his name on them and then calmly pointed to a photograph of my nana and said back when she was my mom remember whoa he said you were a baby and we all went to disney world and she said we should all get ears with our names on them now ladies I have no personal
knowledge of these ears however I do have personal knowledge of photographs of a family vacation to Disney when I was a baby a vacation my uncle attended a vacation wherein my nana bought everyone ears with their names on them so we could take a family portrait with them I have to assume that this was what my son was referring to.
Again, I'm sorry, what?
This is wild. That's it's wild, but it's also so fucking cool.
Oh, it's so cool. Like, I can't imagine it being in that moment and being like, oh, my God, you are actually reincarnated.
You're my child, but like, uncle.
You're my child, but my uncle.
Other strange things have been my son's ability to identify photos of people who passed long long before he was born, random memories that he could not have, and knowledge of events that predate his birth.
When my grandfather passed away a few years ago, my son told me not to worry because Pop -Pop was hanging out with Joe, full -on last name now.
Come again? Joe was my grandfather's best friend.
Joe died long before my son was born.
I have no photos of Joe.
And since I no longer had any relationship with my mother anymore, he would not have seen a picture or heard his name either.
my son could not have known about joe and yet here we sat in stunned silence my son's pensive and mine apprehensive wow another time he asked me to make pasta fujol um you didn't even have to give me that pronunciation because i fucking love pasta fujol i love pasta fujol as well and he asked if she could make it like when he was little i never made pasta fujol y 'all oh i added at the all -in -one life that no one in the family did aside from my nana when i clarified once again he said oh yeah i meant when i used to be little the other time when she was my mom wow i sadly informed him that the recipe
was lost when she passed away and he calmly informed me that it was in the green box what the fuck what green box i was perplexed later on i mentioned it to my husband who suggested he may have been talking about a green box we had recently come across when going through some of my grandfather's belongings sure enough i went downstairs opened the box and what did i find spoiler alert i make pasta for you that's awesome and i would love so i love this also fun fact i also found coupons from the 1970s and a mail order hardcover cookbook offer for 199 oh my god ha ha ha wonder if i could still cash
that baby and try it and whom do i have to thank for that these days my son does not remember as much as he used to about when he was being raised by my nana whether one chooses to believe that it's true or not is completely up to themselves i for one am a believer make me too and i think it gives me a unique perspective on life and death definitely i don't claim to know where we go but i know for a fact that one way or the other we do go on on the upshot at least i know to keep an eye on my son to keep him from repeating his last life's mistakes but on the other hand it's more of a smidgen weird
to think that i am currently raising someone who knows more about my childhood than i do that is very strange and who has known me longer than i have known him that's wild that's a wild statement and that my morbid mistresses is my long ass story of being a mediocre i just burped through that i'm so sorry you are like i'm a burpy lurpy i mean what else is new it's my long ass story of being a mediocre medium who was haunted by my own uncle who was so desperate for a do -over that he yeeted himself into my son's body oh and in case you were wondering it and in case you were wondering my sister still
has mad skills her favorite parlor trick to date is waking up to a roulette table walking up to a roulette table laying an obscene amount of money down and calling it accurate accurately color and number alike wow that's crazy she doesn't do it often she doesn't need need the money i think it's just a fun little rush for her i love her too maybe she does it for her friends maybe she does it for the clout fuck i don't know maybe she does it for the gram but she's still got it love you both so much and if you happen to read this on the podcast thank you so much as well love and mush esmerelda toffelmeyer
don't forget to keep an open mind and to keep it weird but not so weird that take it away ash but not so weird that you ever are mean to your kid like that because i really hated that part where you got hit with a brush and you should had never gotten hit with a pretty brush either like that sucks but do keep it so weird that your uncle reincarnates into one of your kids bodies because I think that's really fucking cool and how awesome to have all those memories and find the pasta for jewel recipe that is great all of that I love you Esmeralda I think you are amazing that was such a story that was that was incredible
and I believe you I I believe it I believe you and those stories are like some of my favorite kind Morbid is sponsored by Squarespace.
Squarespace is the all -in -one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online.
Who doesn't want to stand out and succeed?
Get you a girl who can do both.
Every dream needs a domain.
Squarespace domains make it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair all -inclusive price.
No hidden fees or add -ons required.
Every Squarespace domain comes with advanced privacy and security tools included to ensure that your domain remains online and protected.
Plus, Squarespace provides everything you need to bring more of your dream to life, whether that means building a website or adding a professional email service.
Squarespace gives you everything that you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.
From consultations, events, and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business.
Plus, streamline your workflow with built -in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.
Head to squarespace .com slash morbid for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code morbid to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain.
You know those photos sitting in your phone, the ones that make you smile every time you scroll past them?
Well, at smallwoodhome .com, they believe that you deserve better than that.
Smallwood Home transforms your favorite memories into stunning gallery -quality artwork that tells your story.
All you have to do is upload your photo to smallwoodhome .com, choose your style from classic framed prints to elegant wrapped canvases, and they'll handle the rest. With natural wood finishes like stained almond, black, or white, plus options for sleek acrylic fronts, there is a perfect match for every home.
And the best part? Every Smallwood Home piece is handcrafted right here in the USA by real artisans who care about quality.
No assembly lines, no shortcuts just beautiful personalized art that is made to last I love a handcrafted thing over three million happy customers have already discovered why smallwoodhome .com is just different they deliver gallery quality at prices that make sense and ship in just days I have so many photos in my phone that I'm about to send over to them that I can finally hang up on my walls and I'm really excited about it right now get 30 % off when you use code morbid at smallwoodhome .com That's promo code MORBID to get 30 % off your first order at SmallwoodHome .com.
Give your memories the showcase they deserve.
all right so my next one because esmeralda just really laid the groundwork for a great episode here truly my next one is entitled a forest full of bodies oh yeah hey lena nash i've attached my 14 point font pdf of a listener tale it's a weird one and it's long what you said pdf because it does not say putafa it says pdf it always says i'm not saying but i know that if you read it you won't cut it down for time because you're great like that thanks for all you do i'm horrified let's see you'll get over it i know it oh my god do you hear her hi elena and ash i feel very unqualified to write in because the stories
you read on the show are always so well written but this story is so crazy i've never heard it covered on anything other than local news and I think it's right up y 'all's alley.
My name, you can use it, is Erin.
Hi, Erin. I like how you spell it.
And I grew up in a small town in Northwest Georgia.
Just in case you read this on the show, I feel obligated to say that there are some really nice things about growing up and living in a small town and that the South isn't a monolith.
There are so many good people here and some of us have chosen to stay so that we can bring out the best parts of our communities and squash the yucky parts.
I love that. I traded my original small town for another one when i moved to alabama for law school and i love my people here sorry for my tangent but it makes me sad and a little frustrated when people paint the south with a broad brush and assume we're all intolerant backwoods assholes well thank you for painting it another way yeah anyway my listener tale is about a backwoods asshole or at least a seriously unwell man who lived about 15 minutes from my childhood home the jury is still out on which one he is because he's He's never given an answer for why he did what he did, but boy, did he
do it. Uh -oh. I was about six or seven in 2002 when the news first broke that almost 350 bodies had been discovered in the woods in a community so small it doesn't have its own zip code, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
What the fuck? Yeah.
I never heard of this.
Neither have I. It all started with a concerned propane delivery driver.
He called in his concerns to the county sheriff's department after making two separate deliveries to a crematorium in northwest Georgia.
Some deputies went out but apparently didn't find anything weird. It's unclear what he saw that was alarming but I've always wondered if it was him who called in the anonymous tip to the EPA in Atlanta in early 2012.
Either way, someone called in the tip telling the EPA that something was seriously wrong at this crematorium.
After receiving it, the agency set officers out to investigate and they found some skeletal remains.
That was just the beginning.
Officers returned to the crematorium after that.
This time they discovered much more than a skull and some other bones.
What they found would change the lives of thousands and would rock the community forever.
What did they find?
339 bodies decomposing in the woods.
Holy shit. What? 339 bodies?
The scene was so massive that a federal disaster team was called in and a portable morgue had to be brought down from maryland the team began ident trying to identify the remains but the task was impossible in many cases because so many were in such advanced stages of decomposition of the 339 bodies that were found 226 were identified it makes me so sad that there were so many left unidentified but that is incredible that they could get that 226 it turns out that the crematories owner brent marsh had been essentially hoarding bodies instead instead of cremating them.
Why? When families would come to retrieve their loved one's remains, he would simply give them an urn full of concrete dust. Oh, my God.
113 sets of family and friends will never know if they received an urn full of dust. Oh, my God.
That's fucked up. Marsh was charged by the state of Georgia with 787 separate counts, including abuse of a corpse.
If the internet is correct, the county DA even created a new law in order to prosecute him.
Marsh pleaded guilty but never offered an explanation.
When entering his guilty plea, he said, to those of you who may have come here today looking for answers, I cannot give you.
No, you definitely can.
You need to give people some kind of fucking answer.
I do remember one rumor that he wanted to see how bodies decomposed in different conditions and created his own makeshift body farm.
There's, like, real body farms, though.
Right, like you can go to one.
With people who have volunteered to do that after death.
Exactly. written it down and have given their consent wow but i don't know how true that is there were lots of rumors about the situation including one that his father from whom he inherited the crematorium and who also installed septic tanks put bodies underneath those two did people investigate that it's all even more confusing when you consider that it would have been easier for marsh to properly cremate the deceased than it was for him to do what he did yeah apparently he claimed at one point that the crematorium wasn't working but he was but it was tested and found to be working fine and even
if it wasn't proper maintenance would have kept it in good shape about five years later marsh's lawyers claimed that marsh was suffering from mercury toxicity they said that the ventilation of the crematory was not working properly and he received mercury mercury toxicity from cremating those with mercury fillings in their teeth i don't know if mercury toxicity can make you stage 339 people's bodies on your property but that explanation seems sus to me either way we've never received an answer about why it happened and the friends and families of the 113 unidentified people have never found out
if their loved ones were properly cremated that's so sad and to think that people had their loved ones cremated there thought they did and you don't know if what you have is concrete dust or your loved one and if your loved one is possibly one of the ones that just decomposed in the woods somewhere no that's so horrific like and to think that like every time because every time you pass by an urn of your loved one like you think like oh like hi someone so yeah like oh like it's nice that they're there and then now every time you're walking past that you're like are you there like is that you in there
like that gives comfort That's so fucked up.
Several civil suits followed as well, and as part of one of the settlements, all of the buildings on the property were torn down a few years later.
Good. As for Marsh, he was released from prison in 2016 - What?
And still lives in the county somewhere.
He will be on probation for 75 years, which should be longer than he's alive.
No, he should have been in jail the rest of his life.
He was recently denied an early end to his probation, which put him back in the news.
I scrolled through the comments on one of the news stories and saw person after person commenting about how they still lacked closure because they still didn't know if the urn they were given contained their loved one's remains or concrete dust. I don't know how you heal from that, but I hope time is making their grief a little more manageable.
That's how I feel. If you've read this far, thank you.
And thanks for telling the whole world about the 113 people who will never know.
They deserve to have their story told.
old keep it weird but not so weird that you leave 339 people's bodies in the woods instead of treating them with the respect they deserve love and light erin like what the fuck goes on in some people's brains i how are you that evil i and to do it that many times and forever long he did it and then to say you don't have an answer as to why you did that and no offer of like i'm so sorry for what i've done even though that never helps but it's like try it man like seriously i'm i want to look further into that case i'm oh i want to talk about that more because that's wow that's a wild one there's
got to be more like i need to know all about this seriously that's just really heartbreaking to think that there's that many people out there second guessing if they have 13 people who have no idea and then like if you're sitting there wondering if that's concrete dust i feel like part of you would want to like get rid of that urn but then you'd be like fuck what if it's not concrete dust yeah is there any way to have ashes there must be a way that you could test it i would assume right but i don't know how to be honest and then imagine having to go through that process yeah oh my oh man what a wild
story that was a real thank you for sending that in there and that's yeah wild but yeah I think you should definitely look more into yeah maybe that's an interesting cover the whole story horrifying if possible yeah all right wow my next one is the time my mom made a ghost listen and it starts off hello my kindred spirits oh I'm a New England transplant by way of chaos in Oregon say it how your mama taught you because local dialects and all okay so it's Oregon yeah and really we all know what the fuck you're saying either way I love you I literally love you that honestly I don't even know why
I've never made that point like you guys all know what the fuck we're saying anyway well and also my dad literally the other day we were out to lunch with him and he was talking about something and he said Oregon and I was like Oregon I was like there it is that's where I came from I was like that's where we got it from like all right he's like that's how I say yeah I forget he had an explanation too as to why he said it that way yeah I don't know yeah anyways I've lived in the Boston area for almost 23 years now so this is my home i found you two in your underwater era actually found you about five
episodes in damn you i've been listening to other true crime podcasts and morbid showed up as a you may also like suggestion turns out the algorithm was spot fucking on and i've been listening ever since my middle one liberty yes you can use all the names mine is abby hi again hi but liberty who was 15 at the time and i would often listen to you while I was making dinner and she would just help or just chill with me because this was back when we only got one episode a week no complaints we all got to start somewhere and now you spoil us and 15 year old could totally commit to once a week and hang
out uh sorry and a 15 year old could totally commit to once a week hang out with mom in the kitchen you two have banter that is so familiar to us both as is as this is how my neuro spicy offspring my little sister and little old me tend to converse.
I love that. Anywho, you two and all your new buds, Deb, Deb, Mikey and all the new friends to the pod that have popped in have become family to Libby and me and both of us are so happy for your success and continued growth.
Wow, you're wonderful.
That was so sweet. Thank you, Abby.
Now on to the meat of it.
My family is well gifted in the art of healing and intuitive ways and because of this have had many encounters with spoopy and unseen.
Some really disturbing, banks i'm just like oh sure mr or miss ghosty i hear you no really i hear them and my sister sees them and together we are the super ghost duo sorry i did mention neuro spicy one track mind is not mine now if i can focus for just long enough i will tell this tale i was about a twinkle in the eye of my parents meaning i was about three years from uh i was about three years away from being born when one of my favorite stories happened to my family i loved this one when I was growing up well I loved all the ghost stories my fam had as well as dinner conversations of my dad's
day of work he was a paramedic and would always have some gory tale like when he was a when he had a trainee and they showed up to a call and the guy was just chilling in his armchair holding his entire guts because his stitches had popped and well it all spilled out oh my goodness that's heinous but now but that is not the story for today and I'm honestly glad for that cause we're eating lunch soon But okay, it was the early 70s and my mom and dad had just gotten married and found a home they could afford. The house had originally been a home to a loving couple who had a whole ass life in that house.
The wife had died in the house, foreshadowing.
And the husband could no longer live in the house, so rented it out for a while to anyone who wanted to rent.
You know, the 70s of it all.
No credit check, no references, and no worries.
The last tenants that occupied the house were utter human trash for many reasons.
but i just need one they mistreated their dogs oh yeah that's it that's all i needed to know yep hate that one thing they would let uh excuse me one thing they would do with their dogs was they would let them defecate and urinate just anywhere and then and then these absolute good for nothings would just put a wooden board over said bodily functions oh that's so gross one thing that's so much that's more work than cleaning it up that's more work than taking them outside yeah one thing i never thought to ask and now i must where the hell are they getting all these boards truly after seeing this house
my mom and dad decided this was the house for them because they love to restore just about everything healers we love a project i love that and so the house with all its ick ick because no one touched the toxic mess that those tenants left was their first home side note as a real estate broker of over 14 years i cannot believe this was allowed but again the 70s of it all they began immediately to restore the house by first making it safe to live in by removing all the poop and potty boards and ripping out carpets to restore the hardwood once it was habitable they moved in now to understand the rest
of the story you will need to have a visual of the layout there was a basement because all spoopy stories need one first floor and second floor the first floor was sort of split in half with the kitchen on one half and living room on the other half and dining room on the front of the house the kitchen and the the living room were separated by the stairway that went to the second floor.
There was a door at the bottom of the stairs and it opened up to the kitchen.
At the top of the stairs was a small hallway with two bedrooms off of them.
The kitchen also had a door that opened to the basement.
Well, it was a basement, but not like folks think today.
It was one of those with a dirt floor and sooty walls from the heating system.
Not a welcoming place, that basement.
Okay, my parents Parents move in and begin to tear off the wallpaper, put new wallpaper up, paint, put furniture where they want it, you know, make it their own.
My mom says it all started with the living room and putting furniture where they wanted it.
Turns out, the ghosts like to redecorate and move the furniture around at night to where she wanted it.
Yes, my parents were sure it was the dead wife.
So in the morning, my mom, who is now preggers with my older sister, would put the moved items back and just go on with her day.
I think the ghost did not like her nonchalant attitude of just putting it back over and over again because the ghost turned it up a notch. The next thing to happen was, remember the door at the bottom of the stairway that opened to the kitchen?
Well, that door took to opening, then slamming closed over and over and over again every morning.
At what time in the morning, you ask?
Around 3 a .m., of course.
With a swoosh open, a pause like the ghost needed to gain enough energy to slam it closed again and again.
It would last a few minutes and then stop.
One time, my parents had just repainted the kitchen wall white.
And the morning after another door slamming fest, they found what looked like a hand.
Like the whole four fingers and the thumb drug across the wall in soot from the basement door to the second floor stairway door.
Oh, I hate that. That's so creepy.
be oh that sounds like um you know who's house oh i hate it i hate it with the face yes oh mom and dad kept living there and fixing the house and it was looking damn fine my sister had been born and now the door slamming was starting to really upset my mom because my newborn baby sister was in the room on the other end of that small hallway and every time that door at the bottom of the stair slammed my mom the badass would rush down the hallway to save the terrified newborn the basement well that is a place my mom would not go into but my dad and my mom's brother had to fix or build something
down there honestly can't remember while down there they discovered a two by four hole dug into the dirt wall of the basement and they found it because while down there working they noticed a breeze that came from that direction basements should not have breezes just saying no they should not no this is a no pole that is a no pole and they should have left it alone but you know they didn't they opened it because the dirt hole had a cover and my dad owned the house and the cover now you own that cover now exactly so yeah open it nope hole should never be opened and found what they assumed was the previous
owner's son's military medals that's really cool that's wild because of the time the conflict or war they were associated with well the moving furniture started to do some new things after this the kitchen table chairs would would be stacked in inhuman ways in the morning it was now really upsetting my parents and my mom decided it was her house and this needed to stop hell yeah so she had a conversation with the wife that died in the house she said look i know this was your house and you must have loved it but we are now the owners we love this house and are just trying to fix it after all the abuse
from the previous people that lived here you need to understand that the door slamming and the furniture moving are scaring us we want to stay here and continue to take care of the house but won't be able to if you do not stop scaring us what a badass and that's such a nice way of saying it like yeah i know this was your house and you loved it we love it too and we love it too and she's being like because they she's probably pissed at the previous owners that completely desecrated that house so she thinks they're just going to do the same thing exactly she's being like we want to fix what they
did like don't worry about it like them now this i suppose could have backfired but the ghost listened and my mom said the energy of the house immediately lifted and it actually looked brighter in the house after did the ghosty stuff stop no but it was different now my mom would hear my sister wake and cry not because the door was slamming but just normal baby things just baby she would get up to comfort her to find the cradle rocking on its own with my sister in it on so many occasions sometimes she would wake up just as mothers do and go check on my sister to find her sleeping soundly but the rocking
chair oh my god i just got chills i have chills all over it would be rhythmically rocking like there was someone watching over my sister sleeping oh my god that would scare the shit out of me i'm not gonna lie but i love it so much especially if it's like a good feeling but it's beautiful yeah my mom always thought that the woman who once lived in the house who raised her family there and had her death there was just trying to protect the house as it had been so disrespected before definitely definitely.
In 1920, a broke immigrant in Boston became one of America's richest, most infamous men practically overnight.
He swindled the modern equivalent of a quarter billion dollars and etched his name into history as the mastermind behind one of the most notorious scams ever, the Ponzi scheme.
Hosted by Maya Lau and featuring award -winning comedian and actor Sebastian Maniscalco, this is Easy Money, The Charles Ponzi Story, an Apple Original Podcast produced by Atwell Media.
Follow and listen on Apple Podcasts.
Once my mom told this woman that my parents just wanted the same opportunity for our family in that house and that my mom would love and protect this woman and protect the house, This woman became an ally and appeared to love my family.
Oh my god, I love this.
I mean, how many people can say they had a ghost grandma?
I love that! But that's what she became to my family.
Eventually, my dad had a job opportunity to relocate, and so they left the house and my ghost G -Ma behind all before I was born.
Bummer, I know. It is a bummer.
Aw. But thanks for reading my story.
And next time, I will tell the story about the time I saw what I now think was an angel, but what my six -year -old organized religion -saturated brain thought was a fire demon. diamond diamond in my grandparents basement and don't forget to keep it so weird but uh excuse me and don't forget to keep it so weird that you tell the ghost to stop scaring you and make a new supernatural family member i love that so much that's beautiful like i love that so much that was a delightful tale it really was wow dang i would almost say leave it on that but i have one more and i love the subject line i was gonna say
in the subject line is great you can't leave this one hanging oh but seriously thank you for that that was amazing i know i love that and your mom sounds like a badass i know i love it we needed a good mom story after that one yeah right so this one is entitled the night my husband became a scooby -doo villain yeah which is always a welcome thing hey weirdos i've got a tale for you about the night that my husband was possessed by a scooby -doo ghoul during an attempted break -in i'll attach the story and also a super creepy photo photo much love to you ladies hope to hear this on the podcast one
day here it is oh my goodness oh that's a fucking terrifying photo oh my goodness what is this he sounded like the tiktok sound it's like oh my goodness oh my damn oh i hate this okay i don't like this at all hey weirdos i'd love nothing more than to hear you guys say my name but since i don't actually know where in the world the intruder who stared stars in the story is oh my hate that i figured it would would probably be best to change mine and my husband's nake for the sake of this story that is smart yes you can call me michelle michelle my bell we'll call my husband frank because i'm pretty
sure he'd hate it and that's hilarious to me frank i found your podcast a couple months ago and now it's my current binge i'm one of those crazy people that can only listen to shit in order so i'm furiously consuming your podcast practically the entire day so that i can catch up damn that's gonna do something to you i know i'm sorry somehow keeping an earbud in one ear all day to listen to you ladies talk about murder and or spoopy shit keeps me sane while i'm doing my day -to -day mom stuff my husband is terrified of me laughing my ass off we relate to that sentiment let's dive into it i feel compelled
to tell you to feel free to trim down as much as you would like but i know you ladies prefer to get all the tea so i guess just hold on to your butts because i tend to be long -winded i feel that too it's a problem that i have absolutely no intention of working on me neither i'm a stay -at -home mom in northern minnesota my husband is in construction and is often on the road during the week boo i didn't say that she did however on the night in question he and his partner made a last -minute change of plans and said screw hotels we'll stay we'll we're sick of them let's drive the three hours home to
see our families for even just a little bit this was obviously a break from their norm so this person may have been watching your your house the night that we got the rudest fucking awakening ever was in september of 2021 yeah being minnesota there was already a chill in the air leaves changing and falling you know that good shit we were it was like hell yeah this night however was warmer than it had been lately my ass was helter sweltering and it was making me cranky as fuck sorry my mans i know you just drove all those extra miles to see me tonight but don't fucking touch me so i got up to open
up one of our bedroom windows no the one on my husband's side of the bed and that is perpendicular to our garage door outside i know i know fresh air is for dead people anyway i only had the window cracked a few inches but i also had the blinds up a bit too because although i love my cats down to the very depths of my soul those dicks will 100 shred the blinds trying to sit in the open window wow yep at around 4 15 a .m i was awoken by a banging sound.
I had figured it must have been either the chipmunks that live in our garage despite our best live trapping and relocation efforts or a squirrel.
I had been facing away from the window but I rolled over and amidst my sleepy haze my brain started ringing all sorts of alarm bells.
It took me a hot moment but suddenly my brain finally snapped to it and I realized that there was a fucking man at our window.
Oh my god. Arm leaning against the window just peering in looking like this is the most normal fucking thing for a person to be doing right before the butt crack of dawn oh my god man there's a man frank were the words that came out of my mouth as i'm staring at the man just chilling baseball cap backwards and everything i start smacking the shit out of my husband to try to wake him up when he awoke and saw this motherfucker just staring at us my dear sweet beloved husband tried to muster up a loud and threatening voice oh no guys he He really did genuinely try.
I gotta give him points for the effort.
But between the confusion of being woken up in such a startling manner, brain too sleepy to even fully possess what he's looking at, and his voice catching in his throat, you know, because he's been unconscious for the last eight hours, what came out of his mouth was not my husband's voice at all.
I swear on my mother's grave, the voice that exited my husband sounded exactly like an old school Scooby Doo oh no specifically those green ghost bitches with the chains i know exactly what you're talking about episode a night of fright is no delight i feel like we should pause and listen to it because she sent us the ring the ring video and she did not say we could share it that's why i'm not going to play it here yeah we should listen to it and react we need to i feel like we need like a little clip of those ghoulies in the night of friday's no delight oh my god oh man that was amazing and you
know what you You could tell one, he was woke out of dead sleep.
Two, no one wants to see a person at their window.
Of course not. And he's trying to protect you.
So he's just like, I gotta be scary.
And this is so scary.
You can see the man just leaning up against their window.
And when her husband is like, what do you want?
He doesn't even move.
I'll show it to you in a second.
That's really scary.
So there I am now awake enough to be terrified by the man fucking watching us sleep.
and i hear what are you doing and i about shit my pants because i thought the man was yelling like what the fuck do you mean dude i'm trying to sleep so now frank so now frank is fumbling with the combinations of the lock box he keeps next to his side of the bed that contains his firearm and i'm immediately dialing 9 -1 -1 now you'd think this shit stain would try to book it after being called out right wrong he didn't even flinch the nimrod stays at our bedroom window and tries to break into our garage door that is right next to it he's kicking pounding and trying to wrestle the padlock off the door with apparently just
his bare hands he is tapped like that something's going on there it's scary too because he looks like a normal dude he literally has like a windbreaker and khakis on anybody who's doing that after being caught yeah something's wrong And like knowing that you're calling 911.
Obviously, he's super brilliant and well thought out plan doesn't work.
I'm on the phone with the 911 operator giving them our address while Frank cannot get the fucking lockbox combination to work.
When dude starts to walk back down our driveway, I'm assuming that Einstein here has finally decided to hoof it.
So I tell the operator that I'll go peek out our living room window so I can tell them which direction he's headed so they can hopefully nab the bastard. plastered now i'm always been pretty now i've always been pretty proud of myself for the fact that every time i've ever needed to call 9 -1 -1 i've been super level -headed and calm on the outside despite being a panic being in a panic on the inside when i pulled back that curtain to see which way he went down the sidewalk this absolute to see which way down the sidewalk this absolute crumb went i all but shit myself because he was standing directly
outside the window peering in our faces were inches from each other oh my god with only a pane of glass in between did you shart i profusely apologized to that poor 911 operator before they disconnected because the scream that exited my body by its own free will will surely must have shattered their eardrum whoops i mean i would have done the exact same thing though back to my scooby -doo ghoul of a husband by the time he's finally gotten that damn lockbox open and has his firearm out he's now rushing out to the living room and sir creeps a lot has made his way to the front door I hear the storm
door creak as he opens it and then the door handle starts rattling cue the highest amount of dread I've ever felt yet tonight because now I am standing in our living room wondering if our old ass door that is difficult to latch thus easy to open was double checked before we went to bed that night it's part of my bedtime routine to check all doors and windows so i do it without even thinking about it however the flip side of that is now i can't remember whether it was actually done or not i have done that a million times and i know you have too oh frank runs to the front door and flips on the entryway
light my mind is thinking yo what the fuck frank i don't want him to see us but then i see how he's trying to scare away numb nuts he holds his firearm up to the small window in the front door and aims it directly at the man's face there is no way he doesn't see what that he is literally staring down the barrel of a gun my husband was then released by the scooby -doo spirit that possessed his vocal cords and yelled out in a calm but firm voice sir i will shoot you where you stand if you enter this house this next part side note side note as i'm writing this i'm realizing what a turn on it is for me
to have my husband and protect our family hot damn anyways a minute ago you were like don't touch me now you're like hey you're like well shit frank that was really hot anyways the 911 operator is now yelling in my ear to tell my husband to put the firearm away i absolutely do not have any weapons out the police are on their way i respect you doing your job 911 operator but a thousand percent hell nah we have no idea what this man wants what type of weapons he might have on him and what his intentions are for trying to enter our home after watching us sleep exactly and being caught like he knows
you see him isn't there like a stand your ground law in certain places yeah damn fuck that fuck him in that moment we didn't give a fuck if minnesota is not a stand your ground state he was not crossing the threshold into our home where three beautiful babies were sleeping blissfully unaware upstairs oh my god i don't blame you at all i would 100 kill someone where where they stood just shoot for the kneecaps yes don't you dare despite frank's serious warning stupid face here is still rattling the doorknob which means he is off like into outer space like something bad is gonna happen if he comes
in your house look at this next part pushing and banging on the door frank repeats it this fucker straight up looks my husband dead ass in the eye and says back so do it nah you won't i fucking dare you bro there is a real life literal actual gun in your face.
Probs not the best time to go throwing out dares, huh?
Thankfully, during this absolutely supercharged intense moment, multiple police cars arrive coming in hot.
The 911 operator gets their wish as soon as we see the lights, and Frank unloads his firearm and returns it to his lockbox.
When our perp notices the lights, he goes flying towards the backyard. Guys, it was straight up like a scene from any cop show ever watching him be taken down.
He tried to hop our side fence into to the neighbor's yard and this huge officer just grabs him mid -hop and slams him to the ground iconic he got up fighting though and in the end it took about six officers to wrestle him into the cups and drag him kicking and screaming into the car can you imagine what this man would have done the whole time he was yelling you can't just arrest me i didn't do shit you can't cuff me man i'm just standing here no you're trying to actively break into my home yeah ring cameras determined that that was a lie my dude right once it was a reasonable time of day i spoke
to a detective to get a little more info on what the flying fuck just happened and snag an email address to send our ring camera footage to turns out this asshat lives two blocks from us stop he tested i'm not shocked he tested positive for drugs although what drugs in particular were not shared with me he just seemed so unhinged like and to fight the officers like that and the fact that they had six people who had to hold him down like something was off yeah definitely once he he came down a bit he told officers that he was just at the wrong house no okay sure i call bs on that but cool cool
cool makes it makes sense i also behave this exact same way when trying to enter my own home i mean i guess because of the drugs it's definitely possible but i can't shake the fact that my husband was not supposed to be home that night so scary i was it was very out of the norm and unfortunately it wouldn't have been hard to figure that out i can't let my mind and go there too much though i don't even want to imagine what could have happened that night had the kids and i've been alone oh my god since then i keep my own firearm close to the side my side of the bed at night i do blame you at all
he faced gross demeanor trespassing and resisting arrest charges and a couple other misdemeanors he was already on probation after causing a car accident while under the influence and he was still let out on bail i was under the impression that that That would have been a go directly to jail, do not pass go moment, but whatevs. The county victim's advocate we were assigned to was supposed to keep us informed on his legal proceedings, but basically ended up ghosting us.
Wow. Fuck them. I don't know what went on, but we were never able to get into contact with anyone and I could not for the life of me find anything online about how all that went down.
Love that for me. That's so fucked up that they just leave you with literally no answers.
With the trauma that you had to deal with.
And she's like, does this man still live two blocks from me?
Yeah, where is he? the detective said he was given a strong warning to stay away from us oh that'll do it okay gee thanks but it would have been highly unlikely that he would have been granted a restraining order since we did not actually know him or have any other previous issues with him dumb dumb dumb dumb it's wild to me that the kid it's always the cause of like well did they hurt you physically like did they break into your house yeah they have to try to murder you well sorry we can't stop him from doing that again until he tries to kill you or yeah like we can't thanks to being raised by a medium
key doomsday prepper for a for a father although i'd say he's more like the human equivalent of a slimy piece of wilted floppy celery oh no i've been described by multiple therapists as very hyper vigilant and at times maybe even a little paranoid let's just say that this did not aid in trying to overcome and relax a bit i still can't look out that particular bedroom window after it gets dark and bills be damned we just turn the ac on at night if it's a bit warm good which makes me sad because if there's one thing i love it's a nice cool fresh breeze i also love that and it is sad that you can't
have that but yeah but more safe yeah well that's my story about the night my husband turned into a scooby -doo villain i'll attach the most bone chilling photo of this dingleberry looking in through our window and a brief clip of frank's iconic yelling i'm so happy that you at least have that thank you you know yeah feel free to play it on the podcast if this story makes the cut all right let's go we will play it do we want want to play it now do you want to finish i didn't read that for ahead so i didn't want to do it um i'm considering turning it into his ringtone without telling him of course
please do so i have so many other stories i would love to send in like the ghost i saw in a haunted as fuck tavern i once worked in an eerily wholesome message from the grave i received from a high school boyfriend years after he passed a super weird glitch in the matrix i experienced involving burke king or the ghost light in my house let me know if any of those actually sound interesting because i'm sure you get absolutely flooded with listener tales send them all in send all of those in one email immediately just multiple put of us i'll let you take it from here ash keep it weird but not so weird
that uh you travel to somebody's house and you fucking stare at them while they're sleeping and then you threaten them to shoot you and like ah we should just play the clip hold on i gotta download it again keep it weird but not so weird not so weird that what do you want hey what do you want hey well you guys did not disappoint thank you so much for sending all of those in because those were truly iconic i am truly obsessed yeah that was that was a really wild episode absolutely incredible sending them in we're still gonna do them once a month and they are are very beloved for us they're the most
beloved the most beloved but yeah guys we love you we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it weird but not so weird as any of the cray cray people in this set of tales and not so weird that If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad -free on Amazon Music.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery .com slash survey.
on rainforest, whistleblowers who risk everything to expose deadly corporate secrets, and communities being silently poisoned while powerful people profit.
What makes these stories truly terrifying?
They're happening right now.
This isn't history.
It's a massive criminal conspiracy unfolding in real time, with consequences that affect us all.
Each episode feels like opening a case file into the darkest corners of corporate and government power.
Trust us, once you start listening, you you will not be able to stop thinking about these stories.
Follow Lawless Planet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen to new episodes of Lawless Planet early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
