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Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about cutting-edge science, the wisdom of the ages, lessons from pop culture and our own experiences in trying to become happier.
This week we'll talk about taking self-knowledge quizzes, and we'll also share some hacks for staying warm.
I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness and human nature.
I'm in New York City, and joining me today from another place in my apartment is my sister, Elizabeth Kraft.
She had an event to attend here in New York City, so she is visiting.
It's so fun.
That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer living in Los Angeles.
And yes, Gretch, I'm coming live from your family room.
Yes, it's always so fun when we're like in different parts of the same place.
Yes.
Gretchen, before we jump in we want to tell everybody we're going to do an Ask Us Anything episode for our very special episode 580.
So send your questions.
You can ask anything.
So those are always some of my favorite episodes.
Yeah, and we haven't done an Ask Us Anything episode in a really, really long time.
So this will be fun.
Yeah.
And then before we jump in, we got a few updates.
This one comes from Shelby.
She writes, my name is Shelby and I'm a grief coach living in Chicago.
13 years ago, my mom died from breast cancer on the day after Christmas.
She was a big fan of, see a penny, pick it up.
All day long, you'll have good luck.
So every time I find a penny or another coin on the ground, I think of her and pick it up.
I have a special jar in my office where I put all the coins I find throughout the year.
Then, when her death anniversary arrives on December 26th, I take the jar to my local coin star, dump out all the coins and redeem the coins for a gift card to a store we shopped from when I was growing up.
This could be clothes or makeup, as we loved going shopping together.
This is a grief-inspired tradition that I call shopping with mom, and it helps me continue to feel connected to her, even in her death.
I hope this inspires your listeners to declutter with the intention and honoring of a loved one.
Well, I love this combination, and what a lovely way to remember her mother.
It's such a good idea, Gretch.
And then a few listeners responded to our discussion of reframing the sound of sirens.
Ashley said, just a note to say how much the siren story resonates with me.
Ever since I was a child, due to an emergency situation with my dad, sirens and rescue helicopters have been a source of such anxiety, worrying about people's wellbeing and wanting to know what happened.
So nice.
And then also about sirens, Melanie wrote.
I'm not sure when I started doing this, but I use the sound of sirens as a sort of memento mori practice.
As in, I hear the siren and I am grateful that it is not coming for me.
I know there are days of suffering and death for me and my loved ones in the future.
I mean this not in a morbid or cynical way, but just a fact of life.
And when I hear the sirens I take a moment to be grateful that I and everyone I love, as far as I know, are for the moment safe and sound.
I offer up a little good luck for the person the siren is blaring for, then I do my best to get on with my life's work while I still have the chance before, as John Donne might say, the siren calls for me.
So that's another way to interpret the sound of sirens.
So interesting.
Yes.
So this week, our Try This at Home suggestion is to take a self-knowledge quiz or take several.
Yes.
You and I love self-knowledge quizzes, Gretch.
Yes.
Yes.
And there's many of these.
And I think that the value of doing them is it's hard to know ourselves.
You could think, I just hang out with myself all day long.
How hard can it be?
But it's really hard to know ourselves, which is why we have a segment called Know Yourself Better, because it's something that you really have to work on.
You can't just look in the mirror and figure it out.
And I think that a good way sometimes to get a really big insight is to take a self-knowledge quiz.
And so here are several.
And I think... you know, they all have sort of a different focus.
They have a different vocabulary.
I think different people will find different ones more and less helpful.
So I think it's worth taking several to see if one really unlocks something for you.
Some of these are research-based, meaning there's been a lot of scientific study that validates them.
Some of these are more observation-based, like I would say the four tendencies are.
I just observed this and many people find it rings true.
I don't make any claims for it other than that.
And that's kind of like the five love languages.
This is a guy who's like, I've talked to couples for 30 years and I've noticed this pattern.
And so it's observation-based.
And then some claim to be a little bit more scientifically based or research-based.
And then the researchers are like, eh, not so much.
So I think all of these can be helpful to some people.
You might just want to.
If it's really important to know how validated they are, you might want to make sure that you do a little investigation, because some of these are more validated than others.
Yeah, so Gretchen, start out with, tell us which one is your favorite.
Okay, my favorite, and Elizabeth, you and I have talked about this a lot, is the Values Bridge.
Now, in disclosure, I am friends with the person who created this, Susie Welch.
I think this is an amazing tool.
It tells you your values in order, which are your high values, moderate and low.
It tells you whether your life is a reflection of your values.
So like are you living up to this value in your life or do you need to bring it into your life more, or maybe even bring it into your life less?
I just find that I just see human nature so much more clearly, my own nature, other people's nature.
Sometimes I'll be reading a novel and I'll think about a character like oh, I bet that person's got family centrism as one of their top five values.
I find it to be really useful.
Yeah.
Yeah, and what I love about that quiz and the minute I took it and got my results I set about trying to get everybody I know to take it because it's so interesting is that she doesn't judge the value.
It's not like, oh, is kindness important to you?
Is compassion important to you?
It's things like, are you work-centric?
Are you family-centric?
Is being well-known important to you?
Yes.
And she doesn't judge those values.
It's just that's who you are.
And I find it fascinating.
And one of the things that was funny Elizabeth, when you and I took it, is we have exactly the same top values.
They're not in exactly the same order, but of course we get along really well.
Not only are we sisters, we see the world in just the same way.
Yes.
So of course that, and then I feel like in my marriage like understanding how Jamie and I are like, and then also where we're a little bit different.
I just found this to be really revealing.
And yeah, I keep telling everybody I know to take it because I think it's really, really helpful.
Yeah.
And then, of course, I have to mention my four tendencies framework.
Okay, I made this up, but I think this is a really good quiz.
I mean, it just really works.
Yes, and it's all about how you deal with expectations, inner and outer.
And Gretchen, you should explain what they are.
I'm sure many of our listeners have taken the quiz, but we know like doctors who use the four tendencies to try to help patients teachers.
Yeah. who use it with students to get through to a student.
It is very valuable.
Well, and the thing that's different about my quiz is that it's looking at something very narrow.
Most of these quizzes are trying to sort of explain your whole personality.
And I think that's sometimes where they get a little bit fuzzy, because they're trying to sort of give a total picture of you.
This is a very narrow aspect of your nature.
It's just how do you respond to inner and outer expectations.
But it turns out this is a very significant aspect of your nature.
But that's all it's seeking to describe.
And so, like it doesn't tell you how creative you are or how outgoing you are or how considerate you are.
All those things are outside of what my framework describes.
If you just go to GretchenRubin.com slash quiz, you can take that quiz.
Yeah.
Like in my vanity, I'm like, I think my quiz is pretty predictive.
Okay.
Now another one, and this is, if you really like, a scientifically validated one.
It's called the big five.
And in sort of academic psychology where they try to organize personality.
What they say is the way to describe personality is according to five broad dimensions.
They make them mnemonic OCEAN, O-C-E-A-N.
Openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.
So this is something that's very scientifically validated.
The thing about all these quizzes is they use words in a little bit of a different way.
Like you kind of have to read into what do they mean by extroversion?
It might not be what you think is extroversion.
But here's the thing about this quiz.
One of the things when I was studying habits that puzzled me was if you look at ocean and you look at conscientiousness.
Like I score really high in conscientiousness and some people score very low in conscientiousness.
But what puzzled me was the people who sometimes were extremely conscientious, but then at other times were extremely unconscientious.
And to me, this didn't make sense because I'm like, how do you explain conscientiousness that way?
Like that's kind of not how conscientiousness works.
How do you explain that?
It's like, how do you explain that?
With obligers.
I was going to say.
They readily meet outer expectations, but they struggle to meet inner expectations.
So it was really like me taking issue with the big five.
That was part of what led me to the four tendencies.
But I've never talked to an expert in the big five to sort of argue my case.
But anyway, that was part of what was in my mind.
Extroversion is what I got on the big five, but also with the dose of neuroticism, which is not surprising to anybody close to me.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Now, here's one where it's extremely popular.
I know people who have said, this revealed all for me.
Like my daughter, Eliza, was like, oh my gosh, this was such a revelation to me.
I understand myself so, so much better.
It's the Enneagram.
Now, the Enneagram is one of these ones where it's kind of like, how validated is it?
I don't know.
So it's kind of like the proof is in the pudding for you with the Enneagram.
If you find it to be extremely useful, then it's extremely useful for you.
It divides people into nine personality types, divided by core fear, core desire and predictable patterns under stress.
Here's the thing that I would say about the Enneagram that's interesting.
So all of these like have online quizzes and you can just poke around and take an online quiz.
A lot of times you get a few results if you take it for free, but if you want to get all the results you have to pay for it.
The thing about the Enneagram is, even people who know a lot about the Enneagram say don't take a quiz.
That the quizzes, none of the quizzes are very, give people results that they feel like ring true.
They're like everybody I've talked to has said read all the descriptions, especially the negative part of the description.
The kind of when they talk about the downsides and the dark sides, and like the negative ways that it can come out and see which one rings true for you.
And that's probably the way you're going to get the most accurate result.
And I have to say, when I read it, I was like, one jumped out at me right away.
I'm absolutely a three.
I think anybody who knows me would say that I was a three.
And it did feel very obvious.
And when Eliza took it, she was like, oh, I know what I am.
So I think in this case, sometimes with self-knowledge quizzes, it's very dangerous because you might want to present yourself the way you think you ought to be.
Are you going to answer the way you think you're supposed to?
But for some reason with the Enneagram, I feel like people are pretty good at self-diagnosing.
What do you think, Elizabeth?
Yeah, I agree.
And I am a six with a seven wing, which is like the loyalist, with the buddy wing which you can just hear.
Those
And that sounds very me, doesn't it?
Loyalist with the buddy wing.
And to the negative part of it is having self-doubt is a negative trait.
And that is very me.
I have a lot of self-doubt.
Yeah.
And I think sometimes it's just helpful to sort of read through it and see what rings true for you.
And Gretchen, can I also mention a lot of writers use the Enneagram when they're creating characters because they are layered, the descriptions.
So it can give a lot of layers to a character to land on what you think they are on the Enneagram.
Well and this goes to my point about sometimes they're observation-based, which means that there's something about them that rings true to our perception of the world.
That feels very real.
And then there's other ones.
There's clutter bug, which a lot of people like, which is like, what kind of clutter type are you?
A lot of people like Myers-Briggs, of course.
Myers-Briggs is one where the researchers often say, eh, it's... not very reliable.
If you take up multiple times, you tend to get different answers.
But then I know many very smart people in touch with themselves who say that Myers-Briggs was super helpful to them.
There's values in action.
The five love languages, which is, again, very specific.
How do you receive love?
But it's very narrow, but a lot of people find it helpful.
What do you think, Alyssa?
It's like I do feel like with each of these I do get a layer of self-knowledge, or sometimes I'll get an insight that I felt like might have been hard for me to get in a different way.
Yes.
And almost more important than that, getting an insight into somebody else.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I think a lot of times that's the practical value of like.
If you know your partner's love languages, acts of service, that really gives you insight into how to make them feel loved.
Or if you know like you and I are both words of affirmation And for some reason people who aren't words of affirmation feel very fake doing words of affirmation.
So it's like a whole thing.
Yes.
But the more you understand, the less it can bother you or the more loving you can be.
Same with the four tendencies.
You know, the more you understand how you do habits, the better you can be.
And the more you can understand those around you.
So I think they're equally valuable.
Yeah. for that.
And they allow you to show compassion toward yourself and compassion for other people.
That's the thing about conscientiousness.
I was like well, now I understand why some things that are easy for me might be hard for somebody else.
It helps us not take things personally.
Like the way someone's behaving likely has nothing to do with us and is just their nature.
And that is what it is.
And if you understand that, depersonalize it, you don't get so upset.
I can imagine with the loyalist, like if somebody broke a promise or like revealed a secret, you might take it so so, so deeply where somebody else might not.
And then you would think, how could you possibly have transgressed in this way?
But to somebody else, it doesn't seem as important because their values are different.
Well, let us know, if you do try these self-knowledge quizzes, whether you did feel like it gave you insight into yourself, whether you think one of them was not helpful.
Are there ones that we don't know about that you have found useful?
I think that we just can't get enough self-knowledge.
And this is one of these kind of it's kind of a fun way to get a little glimpse into yourself.
Yes.
Takes me back to Seventeen Magazine and Sassy Magazine, when we used to do self-knowledge quizzes all the time.
No, I mean, that's like my habits for happiness quiz.
And what's your most neglected sense quiz?
I'm like there's just something really exciting about taking a quiz, even about something like or what's your gift receiving type.
Any little glimpse into ourselves is exciting.
So let us know on Instagram, Threads, TikTok, Facebook.
Drop us an email at podcast at GretchenRubin.com.
Or as always, you can go to the show notes.
This is happiercast.com slash 577.
And hey, I am not going to put links to these because these things tend to change all the time.
And I don't want to have a lot of dead information.
But if you just poke around, you will see many links to these quizzes online.
Coming up, we've got a happiness hack that will keep you warm at night.
But first, this break.
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And now for a happiness hack.
I talked so much about my heated throw blanket.
Elizabeth, I gave you a heated throw blanket because they're so delightful.
But it turns out there's another way to stay warm.
I cannot get enough.
Two listeners wrote to make sure we knew about this device.
Yes.
Emmy said, I'm so glad you discovered the joys of modern electric blankets.
Let me introduce you to the joys of an electric mattress pad.
Queen and king size have dual controls, so you can turn on your side at a high level and a bed partner can keep theirs off or at a lower level.
They have automatic shut off and are perfect for keeping warm in bed at night.
You can even pre-warm your bed before you get in at night.
Pure luxury and for well under a hundred dollars.
So like getting into a warm bed, that just sounds amazing.
Stacey said, I got for myself an electric heated mattress pad recently.
And I also got one for my mother-in-law after I found out that she was getting up in the middle of the night turning on her house heater, throwing a blanket around herself and standing over the heat register until she was warm enough for her arthritis to stop hurting.
I think it's a lot safer for her to just stay in bed and turn up the electric mattress pad.
You don't really feel the wires unless you really seek them out with your hands or feet.
And it does have a timer, so you don't just leave it on.
I think the maximum time is nine hours.
You might want to look into this too.
So this is another way to stay warm.
Love the electric mattress pad.
Yes, and I love what a difference that must make for her mother-in-law.
Yeah, that's so thoughtful.
And now for a Four Tendencies tip.
Yes, this comes from Liz.
She says, I'm generally very much an upholder, but my challenge relates to my phone use.
I just can't seem to cut down on my scrolling, even though I'm usually really good at keeping my resolutions.
I have good reasons why I'm motivated to cut down for my mental health and to set a good example for my sons.
But, try as I might, this is a real blind spot for me.
An upholder friend says the same about exercise.
It's her nemesis, and she can't work out why.
Any advice you've come across about why this might be and how to push through would be amazing.
Okay, so this does happen.
Upholders are generally really good at meeting outer and inner expectations but, like anybody else, sometimes they do come up against something that is really hard for them.
And here is the thing.
The most universal and probably the most widely effective strategy is actually a twin strategy.
It is the paired strategies of convenience and inconvenience.
Whenever you come up against something that you are really struggling with, your first line of defense is to just throw all the convenience at it and all the inconvenience at it.
So what would this look like?
Actually, a phone is a great example of this.
So you could turn your screen to grayscale, because that's going to make it a lot more cumbersome to use your phone.
You could use something like screen time to control your scrolling.
You could delete your app so that if you want to look at like a social media app, you have to look it on your desktop.
Or if you really look at it in your desktop, take it off your desktop and only have it on your phone.
You can move it really deep into your folders and screens.
You have to click, click, click to get to it.
You can use the brick.
Elizabeth explain what the brick is, because you and Sarah were talking about this in Happier in Hollywood.
Yeah, we just recently discovered this.
It's a device you can mount, like, say, on your fridge.
You touch your phone to it and it makes your apps that you select not accessible and you have to physically tap it again to have them be accessible again.
So that's really the inconvenient strategy of having to actually walk over to this physical device.
Yeah.
And use it.
Yeah.
So, you know, you're just making it very, very inconvenient to have access to it.
Another thing is, let's say there's a particular app that you're very drawn to.
In the place of that tile, put your e-reader or Duolingo or something that you want to get yourself to do.
So when your thumb automatically goes there, it reminds you like oh, I'd rather be reading, or oh, I'd rather be studying Spanish.
So I think you want to use inconvenience and convenience as a way to get yourself to do what you want, instead of relying on.
I need to make up my mind.
I need to work on my motivation.
I have to get clear on things.
Just make it super difficult. to scroll through your phone.
Because a lot of times people are like, well, it's in my back pocket, why can't I resist?
It's like well, put it on a high shelf in a closet that's far away from the kitchen, and you will find it very much easier to stay off your phone.
So I would say use convenience and inconvenience.
And as for the friend who has trouble with exercise, For something like exercise and upholders, I say get it on your calendar.
Is it on your calendar?
And the more officially it's on your calendar, the better.
Meaning, is there a class?
Is there a friend you're meeting?
Adding accountability for almost anybody, not for rebels.
It doesn't help for rebels often, but for just about everybody.
Adding a layer of accountability helps.
And so you might be an upholder who generally doesn't need a lot of accountability, but if you're really struggling with it, it's just a layer to add.
So make it as convenient as possible, like the people who sleep in their workout clothes, so it's easier to go in the morning.
Do it with a friend who's going to be disappointed if you don't show up or pay for a class.
Get it on your calendar.
Those kinds of things, I would say, would work for upholders.
But I'm always studying this.
I'm always studying the four tendencies.
So if you are an upholder or you deal with an upholder and you've noticed something about this, what's worked for you?
I would love to know.
I know once I've signed up for an Orange Theory class, it's 99% chance I'm going to show up.
Right.
And you're an obliger, but that would be true for an upholder too, because upholders are also sensitive to outer accountability.
So absolutely.
Okay, Gretchen, it is time for a listener question.
This comes from Heidi.
She says I was wondering if you have made a list cataloging the Know Yourself Better questions from this segment, much like how you've collected a list of proverbs for the professions.
I just think they would make a great icebreaker slash team building questions for a retreat.
That is so great to hear.
And again, these know yourself better questions, right?
This is like the self-knowledge quiz.
Everybody wants to know themselves better.
I have collected these.
If you go to GretchenRubin.com shop and go to the Happiness Project collection.
There are three journals with Know Yourself Better questions.
There's sort of the classic version, which is just Know Yourself Better.
And then there's one that's all about embracing change and one that's all about building connections, because those are two areas of focus that people often want to pursue.
So I love, Heidi, that you enjoy these questions as much as Elizabeth and I do.
And yeah, if you want to get those questions nicely packaged, they are ready for you there.
Yes.
All right, coming up, Gretchen gives herself a demerit.
I guess I'd say it's related to clutter, personal clutter.
But first, this break.
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All right, we're back, and it is time for Demerits and Gold Stars.
And Gretchen, this week you are up with a happiness demerit.
Okay, so you know, I walk around pretty much year-round, unless it's extremely, extremely hot, wearing a Uniqlo vest.
I love this Uniqlo vest.
It is extremely light.
It adds that little bit of warmth because there I am trying to stay warm.
And what I especially love about it it has outer pockets that are like regular pockets, but then it has inner pockets that go straight up and down.
So if you put something in those pockets, they really stay in.
So when I'm walking around, I have a little pad of paper I have there.
I have a pen.
I have a $20 bill.
I have my AirPods.
It's just handy because anything I need, I can just stash in those pockets and walk around.
And sometimes, when there's something I need to remember, I'll write it down on a little piece of paper and I'll stick it into one of my pockets, because then I think okay well, because what do we say to ourselves Elizabeth, all the time?
Never trust your memory.
Always write it down.
Always write it down.
And it's somehow easier to write it down on a piece of paper than to like pull out my phone and send myself an email, which is the other way I remind myself of things.
So finally, the other day I was stuck in my hand in the pocket.
I was like, wow, it feels like there's like a lot going on in that pocket.
Let me empty it out and see what's there.
I had 15 little slips of paper in my pockets with all these random things written on them, all of which were important enough that I wanted to make a note of them.
Fortunately for me, none of them had been outdated.
It wasn't like, oh, be sure to do X, Y, Z before such and such date.
And then I had missed my chance.
They were all still relevant.
And it felt so good to just take them out and just one by one.
A lot of it is adding notes.
Like oh, remember to add this note to my empty nest project.
Or remember to look up that quotation and put it in my quotations document.
Or, oh, here's an interesting know yourself better question.
Let me write this down for a future episode of Happier.
I just process them very easily.
But I give myself a demerit, because the whole point of these is if there's something really important for me to remember, do it.
And I think sometimes it is things that I need to remember right away.
Like maybe I need to remember to pack something.
Well, I want to see this before I leave on my trip.
And I had 15 of these little pieces of paper floating around in those pockets.
So from now on I'm going to check my pockets every day and kind of process my little reminder slips.
Yes, because I can see falling into a thing where, having written it on the piece of paper, it feels like you've taken care of it.
Yes.
But you have not.
Right.
No, and that's when it's really dangerous.
It's like buy airplane ticket and you forget, wait, I never did buy an airplane ticket.
Absolutely.
That's so true.
But Alyssa, it's your turn for gold star.
What's your gold star?
Well, Gretch, I am giving a gold star to someone from Traders.
Now, if you haven't seen the end of Traders, spoiler alert, skip ahead a little bit here.
But I think everybody's seen it now.
I'm giving a gold star to Rob Rausch, who won Traders.
This guy was so good, Gretchen.
He was...
So charming.
He's so likable.
He played a perfect game, in my opinion.
He was so much fun to watch.
People underestimated him, and he just killed it.
So big gold star to Rob for giving me so much pleasure this season on Traitors.
But what does it mean to play a perfect game in Traitors?
Well, traitors is a game where you're trying to get out people who are traitors and trying to keep in people who are faithfuls.
And the traitors, meanwhile, are getting rid of people overnight every night.
And so if you're a traitor, you're trying to make everyone else think that you're a faithful so that they're not voting you out.
So he played a perfect game of seeming like the ultimate faithful, when in fact he was a traitor from day one.
So he just outfoxed everyone in a likable way.
He outfoxed everyone in a very likable way, in my opinion.
And I just absolutely loved watching him.
It gave me lots of joy.
Oh, I love that.
Now, the resource for this week.
Now, if you've been listening to Happier over the years, for many years, you've heard me talk about My Color Pilgrimage, which is this project that I've been working on ever since I went through my period of being just intensely, intensely fascinated by the subject of color.
And I have worked on this project on and off for years.
It's taken many different shapes.
And finally, I have found a way to get it out in the world, in part.
It's not the entire thing but, over on Substack, I have started sharing an exclusive series of essays that are drawn from my color pilgrimage.
You know the best parts.
I've been talking about my fascination with color, unhappier forever.
Yes.
Why I couldn't choose a signature color for myself.
How much we love talking to people about their signature colors.
And I just became enthralled with the mystery of color.
I think that's part of why I wrote Life in Five Senses, because that got me very focused on the sense of sight.
So the full essays are for paid subscribers only.
So if you want to come on a color pilgrimage with me...
Just subscribe to the Secrets of Adulthood on Substack so you don't miss out.
I will put a link in the show notes.
It is so satisfying to me to at last bring some of this love of color out into the world.
Yes.
Everybody loves color.
Most people.
Not as much as I do, but yes, we all love color.
Melissa, what are we reading?
What are you reading?
I'm reading You Better Believe I'm Going to Talk About It by Lisa Rinna.
And I am reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry.
And that's it for this episode of Happier.
Remember to try this at home.
Take a few self-knowledge quizzes.
Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
What did you learn?
Which ones did you try?
Which ones did we not know about?
Let us know.
Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed, and everyone at Lemonada.
Here's your rhyming reminder.
Love the show.
Leave a review to let us know.
Usually we talk about word of mouth.
Word of mouth is the best, but reviews are really good too, because people often look at reviews before they start to listen to a show.
Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Craft.
And I'm Gretchen Rubin.
Thanks for joining us Onward and Upwards.
Melissa, I hear a siren right now.
You must hear it too.
I do.
Yes, Gretch, that means help is on the way for somebody.
Yeah, and we can be thankful that the siren isn't coming for us this time.
Indeed.
Hi, Gretchen, Craig Robinson, and my little sister Michelle here.
We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you.
You know, Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes.
What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you.
Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective.
So consider questions like this.
What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me?
Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me?
If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose?
And here's a question.
Would I like to have more time in solitude restorative solitude or would I like to have more time with friends?
You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier.
With greater self-knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values.
In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition.
For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get podcasts.
You can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships, Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success, Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents, and so many more.
