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Hey everybody, this is Connor and you're listening to episode 79 of the Listening Time Podcast.
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All right, in today's episode...
We're going to talk about worrying.
This is a really important topic because everybody worries and some people worry too much.
And it's something that affects our lives in a negative way.
And it's something that we should learn to control and to get better at.
So today we'll talk a little bit about the different things that we worry about and then maybe some ways that we can reduce our worrying.
So we'll talk about that today.
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All right, let's get started.
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Okay, so let's talk about worry.
So what does it mean to worry?
Well, my definition is.
Worrying means that you allow your mind to think continuously about real or possible problems.
So let's talk about some of those real or possible problems that we might worry about during our day or in our lives.
So one of the most common things that people worry about is work, their job.
And this can take many forms.
For example, if you're very busy at work and you have a lot of important deadlines and things like that, this can cause you to worry.
In English, the word deadline refers to the date or the time when you need to finish something.
So if my deadline is next Friday, this means that I need to deliver the project or whatever, next Friday or before then.
So this is a deadline.
So when you have deadlines that are tight and you have a lot of work and you feel a little bit overwhelmed, you might be worried that you're not going to finish your work in time.
And this can cause you some anxiety when you feel like that.
So you might feel worried about that.
You might feel worried because your boss is going to give you feedback on your performance next week.
And you're worried that he might give you negative feedback and tell you something that you won't like or criticize your work or something like that.
Or maybe you feel worried because you have to give a presentation in English tomorrow and you have to do this in front of important clients or important people in your company and this is something that worries you because you think you might not do a good job.
So these are all different things that might worry you when it comes to your work.
And related to work is also job security.
The term job security refers to how safe you are from losing your job.
If you have job security, this means that you're probably not going to get fired.
You probably won't lose your job.
But if you don't have a lot of job security, this means that at any moment you might lose your job.
The company might decide that you're not necessary anymore and they might let you go.
So this is something that people worry about.
They worry about being laid off or fired, for example.
In English, when we use the term getting laid off, this means that you lose your job, but it's not because you did something wrong or you're a bad worker.
It just means that the company can't pay you anymore.
They don't have the money or they don't need your position anymore or something like that.
In this case, you get laid off.
That's different from being fired, because when you're fired, this means that you did something that your boss doesn't like, or your performance isn't good, or it was something related to you.
However, if you get laid off, it's not related to you as a worker.
It's related to the company's ability to pay you or the company's need for your position.
So getting laid off could be a big worry for some people if they don't have job security.
Okay, another type of worry that some people have is in regards to their health.
So this is one that I have had a lot of worry about throughout my life.
I'm one of those people that sometimes worries unnecessarily about their health.
And I'm sure some of you have had this problem or you know someone with this issue people that are a little bit scared to go to the doctor or things like that, because they're worried that they might have some health issue.
This is definitely a big one.
There are many people that worry about different health problems that they could have.
And for these types of people, like for me, for example, we're worrying about things that we really shouldn't be worried about.
There's no evidence that we have any problem with our health, or There's nothing that's actually making us feel a lot of pain, or something like that.
And we're just worried that we might have some problem.
So remember in my definition of worry, I talked about real or possible problems.
So this is definitely one of those possible problems if you're worrying about health issues that no one has told you that you have and there's no evidence that you have.
So this is definitely not a very good type of worry, because we're just worrying about something that could possibly be wrong in the future.
And that's definitely not very productive to be thinking about those types of things.
But regardless, a lot of people have this type of worry.
And for me, for example, I've had to try to work on this and get better and not feel that worry when it comes to what might happen to me or to my health in the future or whatever, what problems I might have.
I've had to learn to get rid of these thoughts and to not think too much about this.
And I definitely think that people who worry about this in particular can get better at it and can improve in this regard and not feel so worried.
I've definitely improved somewhat in this regard.
In English, when you say that you do something somewhat, it means that you have kind of done it.
You haven't done it a lot.
You haven't done that action 100%, but you've kind of done it.
You've done it a little bit or you've done it somewhat.
OK, so I've improved somewhat when it comes to worrying about my health, but I still have some room to improve.
And I think that I'll continue to try to not have this type of worry in my life.
And another worry that people have, which is a very common one, is worrying about their finances.
So a lot of people are worried about their finances now or in the future.
And this worry might actually be justified.
In English.
When we say that something is justified, we're saying that there's good reason for something.
So this might actually be justified, because someone might actually have a very bad financial situation.
They might be very irresponsible financially and And they might be in a very difficult position.
And it's very easy to see why they're worried about their finances.
So sometimes this can be justified.
But sometimes it's more about thinking about what might happen in the future to their finances.
They might have a decent financial situation now, but they're worried that they're going to lose all their money in the future.
And this is something that anyone could possibly worry about, because who knows what will happen in the future.
So it's obviously not something that we should spend too much time thinking about, because we can always worry about something that might possibly happen in the future that can cause us to lose all our money, be in a bad situation.
We can't control everything.
So we shouldn't spend our whole day worrying about that.
However, it's good to be prepared for the future.
I think that if you're someone who's worried about your financial situation in the future, you might be able to spend your time more productively and not just worry about that.
But instead make sure that you feel prepared in case something happens and you have some emergency financial situation, and to make sure that you're a little bit more ready for things that might happen in the future.
I think that preparing and being responsible with your finances now is a good way to deal with this type of worry.
But of course a lot of people just worry about the economy in general because There are many bad things that could happen to the economy in the future.
And this is something outside our control.
It's not something that one person can change or control.
So we have to learn to be okay with the fact that we don't know what will happen with the economy in the future.
We can prepare, like I mentioned, but we definitely can't control it.
So we can only do so much in this case.
In English, when we say you can only do so much, this means that you can only do a certain amount and you can't do everything.
You can't control or take care of everything.
You can only do your part.
You can only do a limited amount, for example.
So you can only do so much.
You can't control the future of the economy.
And one other thing that people worry about is disasters.
People worry about war, about natural disasters, about things that might threaten the whole world or your country or something like that, in the future.
And this is something that a lot of people feel more and more anxious about as time goes on.
Because, as time goes on, it seems like the world becomes a crazier and crazier place, with big events and disasters.
And so people have become more anxious about this as time has gone on.
And it's something that we don't have control over either.
So for a lot of people it's very worrying to see all this bad news that comes out and it makes them think that there could be some disaster in the future.
So that's another common thing that causes people to worry.
So now let's just talk a little bit about how we might stop worrying so much, how we can deal with our worry.
And I'm definitely not an expert in this regard.
I'm not someone that can diagnose your situation and give you advice here.
But I just want to talk a little bit about things that I have done that have helped me control my worry a little bit.
So I think one of the things is to identify the difference between productive worry and unproductive worry.
So productive worry is when you're worrying about things and that you can actually impact somewhat.
You can control a little bit and maybe you can do something productive to help solve some problem that you're worrying about.
So if I'm worried about my presentation that I have to give next week in front of many important clients, then instead of just worrying and thinking that I'm going to do a bad job and I'm going to ruin everything, I can actually start preparing and I can start memorizing my main points and I can start practicing and I can actually do something here.
I can get really prepared, and then, when it comes time to give my presentation, I'll do a good job, probably because I've prepared so much.
So that's a type of worry that can actually help you be productive and solve some problem that you have.
However, there is a lot of unproductive worry, where you worry about something that you have absolutely zero control over and you can't do anything about, and worrying doesn't help you do anything productive.
So, for example, if I'm constantly worried that I'm going to have problems, some problem or accident or something in the future and I'm gonna die or something like that, this is probably unproductive worry, because I can't control everything in the world.
I can't control everything about what happens to me.
I can't control all the people around me, so I can't guarantee that that I'm just never going to have any accident or anything bad happen to me and I can't do anything about that.
So if I'm worrying that something can happen to me at any moment and I can die, this is not something I can do.
Turn into a productive solution, right.
There's no solution to that.
So I'm just worrying about something I have absolutely no control over.
So it's not useful to worry about it.
So this is how we can identify productive and unproductive worry and how we can use it to our advantage.
So if it's a productive worry, we can actually start acting and doing something and help ourselves feel less worried because we're actually doing something to prevent the bad thing from happening, for example.
But if it's unproductive worry, we can't do anything about it, so we should tell ourselves that it's not worth worrying about, just forget it right.
So that's something that i've tried to do.
I've tried to separate my worries into productive and unproductive worries, and i've tried to identify those a little bit better.
And another thing that I definitely need to work on is to not overthink things.
When you overthink something, this means that you think too much about it.
You think in deep detail about something and this is not productive.
So I need to make sure I don't overthink or overanalyze every situation.
Because if I overthink something, if I overanalyze something, this can cause me to worry about it.
And this worry is probably not productive.
And it's a lot of what ifs.
What if this happens?
What if that happens?
And I can think about a million different what if scenarios that could happen.
And that's not something I should be thinking about.
Right.
I shouldn't overthink or overanalyze anything. every situation.
I should try to just think in a productive way about it and not go too far.
And one other thing that I think is really important something that I need to improve more on is accepting what I can't control.
People that worry a lot usually don't like to feel like they don't have control.
And unfortunately, there are many things in our lives that we don't have control over.
And this has been something that I've struggled with.
I want to feel like I'm in control.
And when I feel like I don't have control, this can definitely cause some anxiety.
And I can worry because I can't control that thing.
And so I can't prepare 100 for that thing or whatever, and this is something that I need to continue to get better at feeling like it's okay if I don't have control over everything.
It's okay if there are some things that happen that I can't do anything about and I don't need to worry about those things.
I need to be content with the things that I can't control.
It's as simple as that.
All right, why don't we stop there for today?
I hope this episode was interesting for you, and I hope it was good practice for your listening.
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All right, thank you for listening to this episode and I'll talk to you on the next episode of Listening Time.
