Welcome to the Listening Time Podcast.
Hey everybody, this is Connor and you're listening to episode 168 of the Listening Time Podcast.
I hope you're all doing great.
I hope that you've had a good summer so far.
I think that at the time that this episode will be released, it will be August, if I'm not mistaken.
For me, it's still the beginning of summer because I'm recording this at the end of June.
And I'm really enjoying the weather.
It's been nice and warm lately and I'm very thankful for that, because the beginning of this year winter and spring The weather was not the way I like it.
It was much colder and cloudier than I prefer.
So I am enjoying the summer, and I hope you are too.
And in today's episode, we're going to talk about overthinking.
Overthinking refers to the act of thinking too much about a certain thing.
You're thinking more than you should.
You're overthinking.
So I'm going to talk about some things that I have the tendency of overthinking, and I'm I'm the type of person that tends to overthink quite a bit, and this is not a good thing.
So I'm recording this episode kind of for myself, so that I can remind myself not to do this, because I want to get better at this.
So I'm going to talk about some different things that I tend to overthink, and And then, at the end, I'll also mention some things that I don't overthink.
So I'll also give myself some credit for the things that I'm better at in terms of not thinking too much about things.
So I think that this topic will also be relevant for many of you, because I think that most of us overthink some things in our lives.
And, as always, remember that you can sign up for my advanced podcast episodes so that you can start to practice with English spoken fast.
But of course, you still have the transcript and it's still my voice.
So it's a little bit easier than just listening to some random English speaker.
This practice is perfect for you if you want to reach a more advanced level of of listening comprehension, and so if you sign up to become a listening time family member, you'll get two new advanced episodes every month.
So the link to sign up is down below in the description, And you also have the link below to sign up for my US.
Conversations podcast in which I talk to people from all over the country.
And actually, I just recorded an episode recently with my brother-in-law.
He's actually not from the U.S.
He's from Ireland.
And so that's kind of a special episode that I wanted to record.
So if you want to listen to that, make sure to sign up for my U.S.
Conversations podcast.
All right, let's get started.
Are your ears ready?
You know what time it is.
It's listening time.
Okay let's talk about overthinking.
What are some things that I have the tendency to overthink?
Well the first one is overthinking about conversations that I've had.
So for me, it's common to have a conversation, sometimes important or sometimes not very important.
And then afterwards, I think back and I analyze my conversation again.
And I think about everything that we said and talked about.
And I think about how I spoke and the things that I said, the jokes that I told, and I
I analyze how I performed, so to say.
When we talk about someone performing well or performing badly, we're talking about them doing an action.
When you perform, you do an action.
You execute an action.
So I think about how I performed in that conversation, so to say.
And this is something that maybe some people that are more introverted and analytical and a little more self-conscious might do.
We might think too much about the conversations that we have.
And I don't think that's a very good thing because we tend to be too critical of ourselves.
And we think things like, oh, I shouldn't have said that.
That was dumb.
Why did I say this?
Why did I tell that joke?
We criticize ourselves, and usually we are thinking about the little details that the other person has already forgotten, right?
Not everyone is analyzing every conversation that you had with them.
Of course not.
So chances are you're thinking way more than about that conversation that you had than the other person is.
By the way, we can use the phrase chances are.
That just means that it is likely that blah, blah, blah.
Chances are.
So chances are you're thinking way too much about the conversation and the other person isn't thinking about all those little details that you're stressing about, and so this is something that i do sometimes and i want to stop this because it's not healthy.
It doesn't help me in any way.
I just think about All the things that I should have said differently and the things that I could have said, but I didn't.
And so it doesn't really serve me.
It just makes me critical. of my own self, of my performance in that conversation.
So I think it's better to just focus on other more important things, or just focus, look back and think about the conversation generally without being so critical of yourself.
So that's one thing that I tend to overthink.
And another thing that I tend to overthink is is how to respond to messages.
So this could be text messages or emails.
So this happens with both of those.
When I write a message to someone in response to something they said to me, or If I'm just writing the first message, like I'm reaching out to them first.
By the way, when you reach out to someone, this means that you initiate contact with that person first.
Via message or phone call or whatever.
So if I reach out to them first or if I'm responding to their message, I tend to take a long time to write the message and analyze it, reread it, change things.
And I do all of that to try to make it perfect before I send it.
And I should say that I think it's important.
I think it's very important to proofread your messages before you send them.
Proofread them means to read through something again to check for mistakes and to correct those mistakes or make any necessary changes.
So I do think that it's important to proofread your messages.
I don't think we should be careless about sending messages and just write it fast, send it and that's it.
I get many messages from people that do that.
And it's not very pleasant when I have to try to figure out what they're saying because they wrote something wrong or they messed up somewhere in their sentence and they didn't bother to correct it.
I don't like to receive messages like that.
By the way, when we say that someone doesn't bother to do something, we're saying that they don't make the effort to do that small task or whatever.
So I don't like when I receive those messages and I don't want to send messages like that either.
I want to proofread my messages.
However, you can go too far with this sometimes.
And I tend to do this where I analyze every word, every punctuation mark.
I try to think about how the other person will perceive every single word that I write.
And that's a little excessive because in reality the other person probably won't analyze my message the way that I'm analyzing my message.
I'm overthinking it.
I'm overthinking all the words, every single detail, because in reality...
I'm paying much more attention to all the details than the other person will.
So I'm probably wasting a lot of time when I do this.
And I reread my messages too many times, I think.
I do too much proofreading, in my opinion.
So that's something that I can definitely get better at.
And Another part of this is that I also overthink the other person's message.
So I might spend too much time analyzing the other person's words sometimes.
Not always.
I don't have as big of a problem with this, but I can sometimes overthink the other person's words and say well, why did he say this?
Or why did he write that?
Or why did he include that detail there?
And it's too much sometimes.
Okay, the next thing that I wanted to mention, that I sometimes overthink is what to do when I have free time.
This one is kind of silly because I should just enjoy my free time and this shouldn't be stressful.
However, I like planning things and I want my plans to be perfect, and I really want to take advantage of the free time that we have.
And I have a family.
I have a wife and kids.
So I want to make sure that everyone is having fun.
I want to make sure that everyone is comfortable.
And I also have to think about my kids' nap schedules, at what time they're going to take a nap.
So I also have to think of traffic.
I don't want to drive home during rush hour.
So I think about all of these things when I'm planning what we're going to do when we have a free day or a free afternoon.
And We want to go have fun somewhere.
And what happens is I sometimes end up wasting too much time thinking about all of this.
And so I actually give us less time to actually go have fun, because I take too much time to plan and think of all these things.
So that's kind of silly, right?
We shouldn't stress so much about making plans for our free time for our Saturday or whatever.
We should actually spend more time enjoying that day, enjoying that free time.
So I don't have a huge problem with that, but it is something that that I tend to overthink sometimes.
So I can improve in that area as well.
And one more thing that I tend to overthink a lot is And this one is probably the worst for me.
This is the one that I struggle with the most, and that is overthinking about the future.
So I can't even tell you how many plans I've made and how many backup plans I've made, which is like the plan that you have in case your first plan fails.
That's a backup plan.
So I can't even tell you how many plans and backup plans I've made for the future that never actually happened.
And I overthought these plans.
I tried to think of all the things that I was going to do in the future.
And I tried to think of all the issues that I was going to have to deal with and solve.
And I was already done. thinking of problems and coming up with solutions.
And I'm that type of person that likes to plan ahead.
So because of that, I have the tendency of planning too much and overthinking when it comes to the future.
And the reality is that We simply don't know what the future holds.
So we can't prepare 100%.
We can't plan perfectly for the future.
We actually need to be more flexible.
So I think that it's a good thing to prepare and plan for the future, but with flexibility.
I think that that's a good balance.
I think we should think about the future and have goals and plans, but we shouldn't think too much about it, so that we're planning all the details and thinking of all the problems and solutions etc.
We need to be flexible, maybe be more general in our plans, so that we don't spend too much time thinking about things That will never actually happen.
Like I said, I've made so many plans that didn't actually happen.
It's kind of embarrassing when I think back and think about all of the plans that I've made for the future back in the past and none of those things have happened.
So This is the thing I overthink the most, and I'm actively trying to get better at this so that I don't fall into this trap again and again of making all of these detailed plans and Acting as if I can control the future and predict the future.
That's simply not the case, right?
So that's something that I need to get better at, and I need to be more flexible and less analytical and anxious when it comes to thinking about the future.
Okay, lastly, let me talk about some things that I don't overthink.
So I talked about my weaknesses.
Now let me talk about my strengths.
In other words, things that I don't have this issue with.
So the first thing that I definitely don't overthink is what to wear.
So I know some of you might struggle with this.
You might think for a long time about what clothes you want to wear the next day.
This is something that I don't really care much about, and recently I've tried to simplify this process for myself, and so what I did recently was I went to the store and I bought some different black shirts and white shirts, and now I just alternate between black shirts and white shirts.
They're just blank shirts.
This means that there's nothing on them, no logo or writing or design.
They're just blank black shirts and blank white shirts, and I wear black shirt one day and then I wear a white shirt the next day.
Pretty simple, right?
I love these colors.
I like the simplicity and I don't ever have to think about what I need to wear the next day, because all I have to do is alternate.
I wore black yesterday, so I'm gonna wear white today.
Simple, huh.
So I've made that very easy for myself.
I don't need to overthink that at all.
The next thing that I don't overthink is what to eat for breakfast.
I know this is a strange one, but I say this because...
I know exactly what I want for breakfast when I eat here at my house, and I eat the same thing basically every day.
I know that I want my eggs, chorizo and sausage if we have some, and I like oatmeal and I like to eat my wife's homemade sourdough bread with butter.
So I love breakfast.
It's like my biggest meal of the day and I know exactly what I want and I never get tired of it.
If I have that every single day, I'm perfectly happy.
So that takes a little bit of that stress out of my life.
I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat for breakfast every day.
So it's a simple one, but it's something that I wanted to mention because I definitely don't overthink it.
And one other thing that I don't overthink is the improvement that I'm making in my language learning process if I'm practicing every day.
I mention this because many language learners Many of you probably overthink this.
You question yourself.
Am I really improving?
I don't feel like I'm improving.
I don't feel like I'm seeing any difference in my level, etc.
But you're doing your listening practice every day and maybe you're reading things in English and maybe you're even speaking from time to time.
And if you're doing those things, you're improving.
Maybe it's little by little, but you're improving if you have that consistent, regular practice.
So I don't overthink this, because I know that it takes many, many hours to learn a language and I know that when you reach a lower intermediate level it seems like it takes a really long time to see improvement at that point.
I know how it works.
So because of that, I don't overthink this.
I just trust that, if I'm doing my practice every day, if I'm staying engaged and motivated in my language learning process, I know that I'm improving.
There's nothing I need to worry about.
I can just enjoy the process.
So that's something. that I want you to do as well.
Don't overthink your progress when it comes to language learning if you are practicing every day.
Of course, if you're not practicing, if you're not consistent, then yes, you need to get consistent.
But if you are consistent with your practice, don't overthink it, just practice.
Relax.
Try to be engaged and motivated.
Find content that's very interesting for you and trust the process.
Okay?
All right, that's it for today.
I hope you enjoyed this episode and I want to encourage you to use my advanced podcast episodes if you feel ready to take your listening to the next level.
So the link to sign up is down below.
That's patreon.com slash listening time.
And you can also sign up for my US Conversations podcast if you're ready to start practicing listening to two people talking and not just one.
That podcast is a lot of fun.
It's very educational.
And like I said, I recently did an episode with my brother-in-law who is Irish.
And that was a really interesting conversation.
So I hope that you sign up and you start practicing with those conversations.
All right, thank you so much for listening to this episode and i'll talk to you on the next episode of listening time.
