Welcome to the Listening Time Podcast.
Hey everybody, this is Connor, and you're listening to episode 215 of the Listening Time Podcast.
I hope you're all doing great and that your English learning is going very well, and I hope you're ready to practice your listening comprehension with another episode.
And today we're going to talk about guests and hosts.
I think this will be interesting for you because I'm going to talk in particular, about guests and hosts in the context of the US, how guests and hosts are expected to act and behave here here in the US.
So this will be a cultural lesson, I think, and I know that some of you live in the US, so this actually might be a useful topic for you, just in case you're invited to someone's house, or maybe you host someone your house.
So I want to talk about that also, because we just had guests over at our house.
We hosted them.
So this topic is on my mind and so that's what I'm gonna talk about today.
I'm sure you'll find it interesting.
And, as always, please remember that you can access my training, my listening practice training, my pronunciation training, my sound training all of that and also my advanced podcast episodes in which I speak fast.
You can check all of that out by clicking on the link down below for my membership, and And you can also check out my US Conversations podcast, in which I talk to different native speakers from around the country.
It's really interesting.
It's a lot of fun.
And it's great practice for your listening because we have normal conversations at normal speed.
And of course, I provide the transcript for each episode.
And on the transcript, I also include the definitions of key words and phrases that we use.
So check that out.
That link is down below.
All right, let's get started.
Are your ears ready?
You know what time it is.
It's listening time.
Okay, let's talk about guests and hosts in the U.S.
So we just hosted people at our house.
We had them over for dinner.
This was the first time that we have done that in our new house.
We moved recently, and so this was the first time that we hosted people at our new house, and i think that we're gonna do it regularly.
We like hosting.
We're looking forward to inviting people over to our house and making them dinner.
It's more my wife that's doing that, because I don't know how to cook, but I help out a little bit with some of the other preparation maybe.
And this is something that we enjoy doing and it's something that we kind of have to learn sometimes how to do, because we haven't really hosted people formally at our own house.
I think we might have done it a couple times at our apartment in Mexico a couple different apartments that we lived in there but we don't have a ton of experience doing this in the US, so we're We're kind of learning still.
So I want to talk about some different things that are important to consider when it comes to hosting people at your house in the US, and when it comes to going to people's houses when they host you in the US.
So first, let's talk about the invitation.
So I think the first thing I should mention when it comes to this is that it's always up to the host to invite the guest.
Almost always.
We don't want to invite ourselves over to people's houses.
In the U.S., this is not seen as polite or courteous.
We don't expect other people to invite themselves over to our house except sometimes, family members.
You know, there are some exceptions sometimes.
But usually the invitation should come from the host.
And when you're a guest in the US uh, you should never bring another person that wasn't invited.
Okay, i know in other cultures this is normal, but in the us this is not respectful.
It's not considered respectful here.
If you receive an invitation to go to someone's house and the person that invited you just invited you, then it's only you who is supposed to show up.
If not, then you just show up, just you, if you were the only one invited.
And with the invitation, you usually coordinate a time.
So the host might suggest a time or ask the guest what time they're available.
And once you've established a time, the guest is supposed to respect that time.
So if the host invites you over for a meal at 5 p.m., you should show up at 5 p.m.
You should not show up at 5.30, okay?
So in the U.S., I think people...
Also get stressed over this if people don't show up in time because food might be getting cold.
Like, people prepare the food to be ready at a certain time and to be warm and ready to serve at a certain time, and so when the guests are late, this kind of ruins the timing of the meal sometimes.
So that's something people think about a lot here, and also when it comes to food, if you're the host, I think it's always good to inquire, to ask your guest about foods that they like or don't like, so that you don't cook them a meal that they will not be happy to eat.
And In the U.S., a lot of people have allergies.
For many of you, this might seem strange why there are so many food allergies in the US, but this is the case.
So it's also important to make sure that you're aware of any allergies that your guests might have.
And If you're the guest, I think it's important to be open to eating different foods and not to be picky and say no, I don't like this, I don't like that.
It's nice to be open to trying things that your host might want to cook for you.
And it's also very polite to offer to bring something.
Like you might say, Oh, is there anything I can bring in terms of food or whatever?
And usually the host will say, no, don't worry about it.
Or maybe they'll give you some really small task, some small thing to bring.
But oftentimes it's just polite to offer.
And then the host will say, no, don't worry.
We got it covered.
Okay.
And then, on the day that the dinner or whatever meal or meeting is supposed to happen, I think it's also good to send a reminder text if you're the host.
You can send a message with information maybe.
Oh, feel free to park in the driveway or whatever, something like that.
And also just confirming the time, confirming when the guest is supposed to be there.
So that reminder text is very helpful just to kind of make sure that everyone is is on the same page, meaning they all agree on what is supposed to be happening that day.
So i think that's something you can do if you're the host.
So when guests arrive, it's very polite.
It's customary here to arrive with something, some type of little gift.
I think that a great piece of advice is to not show up empty-handed, as we say, meaning don't just show up with nothing.
Bring some little thing, little gift.
It could be some little present.
For example, our guests that we just hosted, they gave us a little housewarming gift.
It's like a gift that you give to someone when they just moved into a new house.
That might not be the case for you, but you might want to give something like a candle.
I think that's nice.
Or you can look up suggestions online for nice gifts to bring as a guest.
But this is a very common thing.
So I think that it would be nice to do this.
And if you're the guest when you show up, it's great to compliment the house if it's your first time being there.
It's great to tell the host how nice everything looks and how nice the table is set and all that kind of stuff.
This is very polite.
People really appreciate when other people compliment their decoration, their house, all of that.
And if you are the host, you want to make sure that your house is presentable, meaning it looks in order and nice to guests.
It's important to tidy up, meaning organize things, clean things.
I think it's really a good thing to make your house smell good.
Make sure it smells good.
Light a candle or something like that.
That's always very nice when you arrive home. at someone's house and it smells really good.
It just, um, gets things started in the right way, I think.
Um, and of course you want to give the guest a nice welcome, make them feel at home.
Uh, of course, offer to uh take their jacket or hat.
Uh, I don't know if it's raining or whatever.
We don't usually have to deal with that here in Southern California, but offer to take their hat and coat and offer them a seat and just make them feel welcome, offer them a glass of water, all that kind of stuff.
And I think it's important as the host to try to time things the food, time, the cooking.
Make sure that you do things on time, not too early, because then the food will get cold.
But you don't want to still have to spend a long time cooking after the guest arrives.
We didn't do this perfectly last week.
We were still in the process of cooking when our guests arrived.
And so that's something that we could have done better.
But that's just a little tip for you.
And if you're the host, I think it's really nice to accommodate your guests and make sure they're comfortable.
A good example of this is in our house, we never turn on the air conditioning, like never.
But I know that other people really like air conditioning.
They want the house to not be too warm.
That's what they're used to.
So, for example, I offered to turn on the AC, the air conditioning, when our guests were over, because it was a hot day.
So, even though I myself wouldn't run the air conditioning if it were just me, there at my house I accommodate my guests and I know that they like air conditioning, so I turned it on for them.
And if you're the guest, I think it's important to try to be easy to please, meaning try to be an easy guest.
Don't make your host work really hard to accommodate you.
Try to be flexible and not too demanding.
I think that's good advice.
And for the meal.
So if you are the host after the guest has already eaten some of the meal, I think it's very polite to offer more of that, the dish that you're serving.
Offer more of everything.
Offer to refill the guest's glass of water or whatever it is.
And if you're the guest, I think that in the US it's really important to compliment the host on the meal and don't just wait until the end, after you're done, and then you say oh, that was great.
Thank you.
Compliment them as soon as you dig into the food.
When we say dig in, we're talking about starting to eat food.
So As soon as you dig in, as soon as you take a bite, you should show the host that you are pleased with the meal.
It tastes good.
So compliment them right away.
Make sure you compliment them once. when you start eating, and of course, when you're finished.
And honestly, I think it's even good to insert a third compliment, if you really like the meal somewhere in the middle.
Giving a few compliments probably doesn't seem like you're exaggerating.
It just seems normal and It makes the host feel good about their food.
Of course, don't just completely lie and just try to flatter the host, as we say, like you're giving excessive compliments that are not sincere.
Like don't go overboard with this, but just give genuine compliments and thank them for the meal, of course.
And for hosts.
I think that it's great to use desserts and maybe coffee as a way of extending the socializing after the meal.
So It's great if you can offer a dessert or you can offer coffee or both perhaps.
And maybe you can even do this in another room, like the living room, where it's more comfortable and comfortable.
If you do this, then guests kind of feel like they're welcome to stay longer, like you're inviting them into the other room, they're getting comfortable, you're serving them dessert and coffee.
It's a nice gesture, as we say, a nice thing to do, and it really keeps the socializing going a little longer.
It shows that you don't want the guests to leave right away after dinner, right?
Because that's usually not very fun.
They just come over, eat, and leave.
You want to hang out a little bit, socialize a little more, right?
One good idea when it comes to extending the socializing is to use games or activities.
I know this may not be very normal for you, but trust me, board games are super fun, especially if they're really easy to learn.
When we hosted people last week at our house, Our friends brought games over and we had a ton of fun playing one of these games after the meal.
And so it was a great way to continue socializing. and spending time together.
In the US, a lot of people like games, board games, card games.
So it might be something that you want to offer if you're the host or, like our guests, brought these games over.
So, even if you're the guest, you might be able to suggest this like Oh, how about I bring over a game that we can play after dinner?
Or maybe, maybe not.
It depends on who the host is.
It's probably best if the host does it.
But in our case, we're good friends with the people who came over.
And so it was natural for them to just bring games over.
So we really enjoyed that.
Maybe you have a backyard and you might invite the guests outside to sit out in the fresh air in the nice evening maybe, depending on the weather.
That can be something, but just something that can extend the socialization and add some fun to the evening or the afternoon or whatever.
So I think that's nice.
And if you're the host, I think that it's good to make it clear that your guests can stay longer.
I think it's good to make your guests very aware of the fact that they are welcome there.
Because, if not, they might be doubting whether or not they're overstaying their welcome, as we say, meaning they're staying longer than the host wants them to stay.
So if you're the host, it's great to just tell the guests that oh, you should stay a little longer so we can have some coffee or play a game, or oh, can you guys stay a little longer or do you need to leave?
It's good to show the guest that you're happy that they're there and you want them to stay longer.
I think that that's really nice.
And if you're the guest, make sure that you don't overstay your welcome.
Be reasonable in terms of how late you stay.
Your hosts might have kids, and of course, kids usually go to bed earlier than adults.
Someone might need to work.
The next morning.
So be conscious of all of this.
Make sure that you're not staying longer, even though it seems like your host is kind of done with the socialization.
I think that you just kind of have to read your hosts a little bit meaning, try to see how they're feeling.
And like I said, just be reasonable.
Don't stay super late.
I know that this is different in other countries.
In other countries, people can stay over very late and it's really normal.
In the US.
You can do this if you're really good friends with the person or you know each other really well.
You're family members and you guys have that understanding.
But in cases where you aren't quite as close with the person, it's usually not customary to stay really late at someone's house.
So just be aware of this and be reasonable.
Lastly, talking about leaving.
So, if you're the guest, make sure that you really thank the host genuinely and compliment them again on the meal and tell them that you had a great time, and This is all very nice to do when you're leaving.
It's also a nice gesture to return the invite, like you're going to invite them the next time, possibly.
Like, oh, next time we'll have you guys over at our house.
I think that's really nice, really polite, and really you just want to...
Make sure that the host knows that you appreciate everything that they did.
So in the U.S., we thank people a lot.
This is really common in our culture.
You definitely want to do this if you're the guest.
So hopefully you found this episode interesting and maybe you learned a thing or two.
I know that some of these things are different. in other cultures.
So these things might not be super obvious all the time, but maybe if you live in the US, you can follow some of these tips and they can help you out.
So I hope that you enjoyed this episode and that it was good practice for your listening.
And I want to remind you that you can access my training and my advanced podcast episodes by clicking on the link down below.
And you can also check out my US Conversations podcast and listen to my conversations that I have with other native speakers from around the US.
We talk about a lot of interesting stuff.
It's very educational and you learn a lot about US culture.
So definitely check that out.
That link is down below.
And, as always, please give this podcast a five-star rating and write a review, if you haven't done so already.
Okay, thank you so much for listening to this episode and I'll talk to you on the next episode of Listening Time.
