Hello! Welcome to Stories Podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Weldon.
Today's story is called Duck Soup, But I'm a Duck, an adaptation of a classic fable written for you by Daniel Hines.
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Thanks. Enjoy the episode. Duck soup, but I'm a duck.
Once upon a time, in a little perfect pond by a meandering meadow, there lived a duck.
His name was Bucky, and his mom called him Bucky Ducky, which was okay, but only when she said it.
Bucky Ducky, sorry, Bucky, had spent his childhood following his mom around the pond with his brothers and sisters.
It was a nice life, coasting around, eating bugs and berries.
And when they were lucky, they even found a friendly human throwing some bread.
But now Bucky was older, and it was time for him to go off on his own.
His wings had come in bright and strong, and he could fly wherever he wanted.
He just had to figure out where that was.
Where are you going to go? asked his sister Plucky.
I don't know, said Bucky, shrugging his wings.
Do you have any ideas? I'm going to find the biggest pond I can, Plucky said, wiggling in excitement.
Maybe even a lake. That sounds perfect for you, Bucky said.
And he meant it. Plucky was always talking and laughing and making new friends.
For me, though, I just want someplace chill.
I don't want to have to think too hard or work too hard either, for that matter.
So find yourself a nice little pond. said Plucky.
Or just keep flying and see where it takes you.
I think that's what I'll do, agreed Bucky, and they hugged each other goodbye and took to the air.
Bucky flew up and up and up, higher and farther than he ever had before.
The wind rushed through his wings, his beak split the air, and he quacked loud and proud in the sky.
Now, he mused to himself. Where do I want to go?
He soared over the fields and ponds. He swooped down over the tall grass and took a break to eat by the side of a wild field loaded with berries.
He launched back into the sky and just soared for hours, seeing where the winds might take him.
Truthfully, Bucky wasn't even sure where he was looking for.
A new place to live? A fun place to visit?
Just a new adventure? It didn't really matter, was the truth.
Bucky was just happy to be up in the air, living wild and free.
He slept that night alone for the first time in forever.
It felt weird without all his brothers and sisters, but he cuddled into some tall grass and it was almost as good.
He slept hard and had dreams of swooping through the endless air.
For the next couple of weeks, Bucky flew all over the place.
He found other ducks living in lakes and ponds and rivers. but they were all very busy hustling and bustling and just generally not matching Bucky's vibe.
Finally, he flew over a tidy little farm tucked along a stretch of woods.
Bucky saw a rolling pasture dotted with big milk cows chewing grass.
Past that, there were neatly cropped fields of wheat and corn, looking golden and beautiful.
And there, in the corner, perfect and round and shining in the sun, was a duck pond.
Bucky had been flying for hours, and a little dip and a little rest were just what he needed.
Look out below, he said, folding his wings and streaking straight down.
The wind rushed through his feathers and he spun with joy before sploosh!
He splashed down into the pond with a whoop and a cheer.
Nice landing, said a voice from behind Bucky.
He spun around in the water and saw a little group of ducks relaxing in the shade of a bush.
Hey, said Bucky, waving a wing. Sorry to splash down in your pond.
Didn't see you from up there in the sky.
No problem, said the same duck who talked before.
She was a little duck with a pretty purple streak on one wing.
You're welcome to share our pond. Thanks, said Bucky.
I'm Bucky, by the way. I'm Lara, said the other duck, and this is Macintosh Farm.
She waved her wings at the pond and fields in the barn in the distance.
"'Looks nice,' said Bucky. "'I used to live on a pond, and it was great.
There were a ton of bugs to eat, and you can always swim, and every so often—'
Humans would even throw bread. Do you like bread and human food?
Laura asked. Oh, yeah, said Bucky. Human food is the best.
This is a farm run by humans, said Laura.
They feed us twice a day. Whoa, said Bucky, splashing around the little pond.
No way, you get bread? We get bread and grapes and corn and all kinds of stuff.
And we get to hang out in the pond or walk around in the grass all day.
Wow, that's amazing, said Bucky. Do you think I could stay here for a while?
I've been looking for a new place to crash, and this place is amazing.
Sure, said Lara. More ducks are always welcome here at Macintosh Farm.
Awesome, said Bucky. So, when's lunch? Should be soon, said Lara.
And then they puttered around the pond together.
And sure enough, an hour later, an old farmer came out with a big bucket in either hand.
Come on, you quackers, he shouted, setting down the buckets by the water's edge and hitching up his denim jeans.
Time to get nice and fat. It's the farmer, said Laura.
Let's go. Laura led the way across the pond to the sandy shore where the farmer was already beginning to throw out big handfuls from the buckets.
The food splashed into the water and the ducks all swarmed, munching happily.
Look at all this, Bucky said, swimming into the middle with Laura.
A bright green grape floated by, and he plucked it up and then gobbled it down.
So good. I know, right? said Laura around a big mouth of cracked corn.
And you get this every day? Bucky asked, taking his own big munch of corn mixed with a little rice.
This is incredible! Twice a day, every day, Laura agreed, and then they settled in for some serious eating.
A little later, Bucky lounged with Laura on a log, just dipping his feet in the water.
You know, this place is great, he said. Glad to have you here, Laura said with a smile.
Glad to be here, said Bucky. That night, when the sun went down, the farmer came out and whistled loudly.
At the sound, all the ducks started swimming for the far shore.
Where are we going? Bucky asked Laura. Back to the coop, she said.
What's a coop? asked Bucky. Oh, it's a big wooden house the farmer made for us, said Laura happily.
It's warm and cozy and we sleep there every night.
You'll love it. Okay, said Bucky, and he let Laura lead him back to the coop.
It was a little wooden house lined with benches for all the ducks to sleep on.
It was cozy, but it was a little cramped, too.
What do you think? Laura asked as all around them the ducks settled in to sleep.
It's nice, but not really my style, said Bucky Ducky.
I think I'll sleep outside in the pond. That's where I like it.
Oh, you can't, said Laura. The farmer and his helpers always check.
If there's any ducks left on the pond, they corral us into the coop for the night.
Why? asked Bucky. He says it's safer, Laura said with a shrug.
Well, Bucky wasn't thrilled about sleeping inside.
But when he thought about it, it was a fair trade for all that great human food.
He nestled in between Laura and another chubby duck and was soon fast asleep.
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The next morning, Bucky woke up and wiggled out of the coop with the other ducks.
They all spread across the grass and the pond, and soon the farmer came out for breakfast.
He trundled out with two big buckets and whistled for the ducks again.
Breakfast, he called, throwing big handfuls of food into the water.
Let's go, yelled Bucky, diving into a pile of grapes and eating them one after another.
Laura laughed and munched some corn. The farmer watched happily and said, That's right, little quackers, eat up and get nice and fat.
As he was munching, Bucky turned to Laura.
Why does he keep talking about us getting big and fat?
Does he just really like fat ducks? Laura laughed.
No, he just says that because once in a while they make duck soup and they always like to take a chubby duck for duck soup.
Bucky spat out his grapes and turned to look at Laura with wide eyes.
The farmer finished feeding and made his way back to the house.
"'Laura, did you say duck soup?' "'Yeah,' Laura said.
But we're ducks, shouted Bucky. And? You don't know what duck soup is, do you?
Sure I do, said Laura. It's like a vacation or something, right?
The ducks who go to Duck Soup are taken someplace nice.
Bucky shook his head in disbelief. As a duckling, his mom had warned him about hunters and dogs who would come after ducks.
When he'd asked her why, she told him that the humans sometimes ate the ducks, roasted her in soups.
He'd been lucky enough to never see a hunter.
But this? This place isn't what you think, Bucky said.
Sure it is, said Laura. It's a farm. And what do they do on farms? asked Bucky.
They grow food, said Laura. That's right.
Now tell me, why do you think the farmer always tells us to grow and be nice and big and fat when he feeds us?
Because he likes us and... Oh. Oh, no! Exactly, said Bucky.
We have to leave. But we don't even know if you're right, said Laura.
I admit it makes sense, but we need to know for sure before we panic everyone.
Fine, said Bucky. He already knew he was right, but he liked Laura and the other farm ducks, and he decided he couldn't leave them, not if he could try and help them first.
So that night, he took Laura and two of the oldest ducks, a couple named Flip and Flop, to the farmhouse.
They waited until it was totally dark and then waddled up to the door.
Luckily, the farmer had a flap in the door for the dog, so the ducks were able to duck inside the farmhouse.
What are we looking for? asked Flip. Bucky thinks the farmer is eating the ducks he takes, said Laura.
We need to see if he's right. Of course he's not right, said Flop.
Everyone knows that the ducks that get taken get sent to soup, which is a great vacation spot.
Oh, yeah, said Bucky, coming out of the kitchen.
Then what do you make of this? Bucky knocked a heavy book off the kitchen counter and it thumped to the floor.
There, spread across two pages, was the recipe for duck soup.
Of course, the ducks couldn't read, but they could follow the pictures well enough.
Oh, oh no, said Flip. It's true. We have to go tell the other ducks. said Laura.
Let's go, said Flop. The ducks rushed back outside to the coop and woke up all the other ducks, who weren't too happy about it.
What's the big idea? We're trying to sleep, someone grumbled.
Laura launched into the explanation about duck soup.
Half the ducks were horrified. But to Bucky's surprise, half just shrugged.
It's risky living anywhere, one said. At least here we get taken care of.
All the food we want, you know. Because you're being fattened up! said Laura.
Well, maybe I like being fattened up, they said.
You leave if you want, but we have a good thing going here.
About half the ducks agreed, and Bucky and Laura couldn't convince them otherwise.
Finally, they decided they couldn't change their minds.
Bucky, Laura, and the ducks who wanted would leave after breakfast.
The rest would stay like they always had.
The next morning, they heard the farmer's whistle and flocked towards him and the buckets.
Half the ducks eyed the farmer suspiciously now, knowing the secret of duck soup, but the others were quacking as normal as the farmer threw out big handfuls of food.
Come on and eat, my little beauties, he said.
We need you nice and fat for the soup. Bucky and Laura were next to each other, eating fast.
They'd need the energy to fly far, far away from the farm.
But as Bucky gobbled a grape, the farmer reached out suddenly and snagged Laura by the neck.
She squawked in protest, but the farmer's strong hand held her firmly.
Ah, you'll do nicely for the soup tonight, he said.
Help, Laura said, or at least tried to say.
With the farmer's hand on her, it was more like a squeezed groan.
What do we do? asked Flip. He and Flop had agreed to leave with them.
You can't make her into soup, Bucky cried and launched himself at the farmer, quacking and pecking.
A dozen other ducks followed behind him, pecking the farmer all over.
You can't have her, they shouted. Let her go!
Finally, the farmer dropped Laura and covered his head with his hands, already bruised and battered from dozens of duck bites.
He ran back to the house, screaming, "'Barbara!
The ducks have gone nuts! The ducks are nuts!'
Bucky waddled over to Laura as fast as he could.
She was gasping, but he helped her up and she caught her breath.
Thanks, everyone, she said. They heard the farmhouse door slam and then open again a second later.
Then there came a tremendous crashing sound as the farmer fired a weapon in their general direction.
The farmer's nuts, screamed Laura. It's time to go.
Everyone, shouted Bucky. Follow me. He took off into the air, and for a wonder, the farm ducks all followed him.
Not just the ones who said they would, but all of them.
The farmer bellowed as they took off, but they were soon out of reach, and a moment after, they were out of earshot, and none of the ducks ever had to hear the farmer ever again.
We did it, said Laura. I can't believe we left.
I can, said Bucky. I thought I was looking for a place where I could chill all day and be fed like that, but I was wrong.
When you settle for being cared for by someone, that someone ends up owning you.
It's better to be wild and free than it is to be spoiled and locked up.
Couldn't agree more, said Laura. Then she looked over her shoulder at the ducks all flying behind them in a mighty V formation.
So where do we go now? Now? Asked Bucky, smiling wide.
Wherever we want. The ducks all cheered, and together they soared safe and happy into the distance, wild and free.
The End Today's story, Duck Soup, But I'm a Duck, was an adaptation of a classic fable written for you by Daniel Hines.
It was edited and produced by Ellie Hines and performed for you by me, Amanda Weldon.
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