Hello and welcome to or welcome back to Trying Not To Care.
If you're new here, my name's Ashley and I upload every single Monday and I just sit down and talk with you for a little bit about mental health relationships friendships, navigating life or like today.
I share some of my favorite things with you.
I am feeling so much better.
If you listened to last week's episode, you know I was sick.
I didn't really talk much about what's going on besides the fact that I was deadly sick.
But I've kind of suspected for a while now that I have some type of autoimmune disease.
At first, I thought it was celiac.
Then I thought it was lupus.
And then I thought it was Crohn's because of how often I'm sick.
And then I also have this other reoccurring problem where I get an excessive amount of canker sores, like 15 at a time.
But I went and got blood work and it came back.
And I'm pretty sure I don't have an autoimmune disease because everything came back negative.
But I am extremely low in B12.
I think anything under 300 is deficient.
And I was at 220.
So that makes a lot of sense why I haven't been feeling good.
And it could also be why I have all these canker sores.
So I started taking vitamin B. Hopefully that solves the problem.
But...
Moral of the story, I feel so much better.
I also just hope the canker sore situation is resolved for good, because I start Invisalign December 15th.
And the idea of having my Invisalign in while also having canker sores sounds excruciating and unbearable and something that I personally don't want to deal with.
And I don't want to not wear my Invisalign because of canker sores.
That's just so stupid.
But yeah, I'm getting Invisalign.
I used to have braces.
Things happened.
Teeth shifted.
Life goes on, okay?
We're fixing the problem now.
I'm on a tight timeline because I get married in August.
So from now until then, I'll be wearing Invisalign.
And this might be the last time I sound like myself, because I imagine that when I'm wearing Invisalign I'll have some type of lisp, unless I obviously take it out to record.
But yeah, hopefully things are all figured out.
I'm trying to resolve all my issues.
I'm trying to get my health in order.
I'm trying to straighten my teeth and I'm just trying to do good for 2026.
But today's episode is another media of the month.
I did one back in October and I figured December was the perfect time month to do another one.
I really like the idea of sharing all the media I'm consuming, because I consume a lot of media and I take it very seriously.
I'm one of those people where when I like something, I need to share it with other people, like Spotify wrapped.
Spotify wrapped is my Super Bowl.
I'm having a blast.
I love sharing what I'm listening to.
I love seeing what other people are listening to.
It's like form of a love language, especially if I know the person and I know what they're into.
And then I hear something or I'm watching something and it reminds me of them.
I'm like I need to share this with them because they're gonna love it and I feel like we're all so alike and we're into a lot of the same things.
And actually Spotify wrapped validated that for me this year.
My podcast wrap shows what listeners are are listening to, what books they're reading, what podcasts they like.
Obviously, so many of you are Swifties.
You're listening to Tate McRae, Drake, Bad Bunny, Sabrina Carpenter.
For books.
It's that a lot of you are listening to The.
Let Them Theory The Summer.
I Turned Pretty The Housemaid.
And then for other podcasts a lot of you are listening to Anything Goes the Mel Robbins podcast Call Her Daddy.
All of those I love, like you guys have taste.
Like I said, we're all so alike.
So I wanna share some of my favorite media that I've either been really loving, or just general favorites for the month of December that I think really amplify this month.
Media that I go back to every single year to get into the holiday spirit, but also just media in general that I think is really good, that I want you to know about.
So for this media of the month, I have movies and TV shows music, podcast episodes and then favorite creators.
This is gonna be a really chill episode, so get cozy, grab a drink, grab a snack.
I'm currently drinking a peppermint mocha iced coffee and let's just get right into it.
This episode is sponsored by betterhelp.
Holidays are all about traditions, typically with our friends or family, but this year I encourage you to ask yourself what traditions do I have with me?
Incorporating therapy into your new or existing traditions can help ensure you take time for yourself during what could be a very joyful but sometimes hectic and lonely time of year.
If you're looking to try out therapy, BetterHelp's a great option that's entirely online and can help you close out the year with clarity rather than chaos.
To get started, you'll fill out a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences and then, based on that, BetterHelp will match you with a therapist.
If you aren't happy with your match or you think you need something different.
You can switch therapists at any time to find what works for you.
It's super important that we take care of ourselves during the holidays and as we transition into the new year.
Therapy is a really great way to look after yourself, talk through your emotions and prepare yourself for a new chapter of life.
This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you.
Our listeners get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash TNTC.
That's BetterHelp h-e-l-p dot com slash, tntc.
So go ahead and treat yourself to the best gift this holiday season.
Treat you, your mind and your mental health to better help.
Let's start off with movies and tv shows.
I take movies during the month of november and december so seriously because i genuinely feel like i can only watch these movies and tv shows during this time of year, and by that i mean, obviously you can watch christmas movies and shows any time of the year.
There's no rule.
But I have this weird thing where when I think of Christmas when it's not Christmas, like if I think about it during the summertime it makes me so sad.
It makes me almost homesick, but not homesick like I'm missing home.
It's almost like I'm missing a time that I can't go back to.
I don't know if that makes sense.
It's like yearning for something that you can't have.
If you felt it, you know what I'm talking about.
If you've seen those edits on TikTok of 2000's Christmas and it shows you like Christmas at school and snowstorms and oh god, it hurts, it genuinely hurts.
So I can't think about that unless it's actually this time of year.
So I only watch Christmas movies and shows during Christmas, as you should.
I mean, I feel like that's normal, but I take it very seriously because I need to hit all of the og ones.
I need to make sure i watch everything because i know i only have right now and then i can't watch these until the next year.
I have a small list of movies and tv shows that are non-negotiables, that i watch every single year, and those are the polar express, home alone, the grinch, the spongebob, christmas special, this one christmas episode of the rugrats and then a christmas story, but i only watch that on christmas day.
It's like a tradition to have that on while we're eating at my dad's house.
Oh, and then also the muppet christmas carol.
That's josh's non-negotiable.
That's what him and his family watch every single year, so that's just become a tradition for us now is that we watch that every year and honestly i was hating on it at first, but josh has taste.
It's a good movie.
I also really like holiday josh and i watched that for the first time last year and we were pleasantly surprised.
And then the ultimate christmas present, which is an old ass christmas movie from disney.
I think it came out in like 2000.
I remember watching that in elementary school, so i'm definitely showing my age.
I probably sound prehistoric, But Brenda Song's in it and it's about these girls who find a weather machine and they used to have a snow day.
If you know, you know.
I might have just unlocked a memory you didn't know you had, but it's good.
It's really, really good.
I also think Little Women is a really good movie to watch during Christmas.
I talked about that.
In my romanticizing winter episode.
It was only recently that I watched Little Women for the first time.
Last month I was on this kick.
Where I decided to watch movies that I feel like every woman should know.
So I watched Little Women.
I watched Pride and Prejudice.
And I watched Practical Magic.
And all three movies were so good.
I would say Practical Magic is more of a fall Halloween movie.
Just because they're witches.
But so good.
Also I watched Mamma Mia for the first time.
Which I know is so insane of me.
Like how did it take me this long? but I'm going to see it on Broadway.
So I figured I should probably watch it.
My next movie that I'm going to watch is La La Land.
Again, insane.
I haven't watched it, but I think I'm going to love it.
So I'm excited about that.
And then two shows that I recently binged, that aren't holiday related but were just so good.
Are The Beast and Me and All Her Fault?
They're both psychological thrillers.
The Beast and Me is on Netflix, and it's about this woman who's an author that's mourning the loss of her son and she's been unable to write because of that.
And then this man moves in next door that was accused of murdering his wife.
And then he becomes the subject of her next book.
And it's just so good.
And then all her fault is about this woman whose son is abducted.
And they're trying to hunt down the person who took him.
And the end was insane.
The biggest plot twist.
I love movies and books like that.
That's why I always read Freda McFadden.
I'm not really reading anything right now.
I just finished Lie to Me by Freda McFadden.
And then I picked up the book and then there were none.
But I haven't really gotten into that.
But I do want to read Push or The Push by Ashley Audrain.
I put that on my wish list.
But yeah, I'm not really reading anything.
So I'm going to skip over book recommendations and go into music.
For Christmas music, I mean, everything's good.
I love listening to Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, John Legend.
But that's when I'm overstimulated and I need to put background music on when I'm cooking, doing my skincare, family-friendly music, or even when I'm feeling a little classy.
You know, I have a glass of wine and I'm like swaying to Dean Martin.
But my Christmas music of choice is pop.
A little dirty, a little scandalous, a little bit scandalous, but baby, don't let them see it.
I remember when i first heard the naughty version of santa tell me by ariana grande and i was like, oh my god oh, this is scandalous, this is dirty, this is a christmas genre.
Wow, i love christmas and chill by ariana grande, love fruitcake by sabrina carpenter under the mistletoe album by justin bieber.
And then my absolute favorite genre of Christmas music is what I call 2000s Disney Channel bops.
The entirety of the Cheetah Girls Christmas album.
Cheetahlicious Christmas literally changed my brain chemistry.
The Cheetah Girls and Ashley Tisdale as a whole is why I think I'm such a diva.
But all of the Disney Channel Christmas albums, if you're unaware, educate yourself.
Go and look those up.
Listen to them.
I used to blast them on my boom box, okay?
But I love Ashley Tisdale Last Christmas, Greatest Time of the Year by Ali and AJ Any.
Hilary Duff Christmas Music, Wonderful Christmastime by Demi Lovato.
All of those are great bops Disney Channel bops.
Besides Christmas music, the only music that I've really been listening to, let's be honest Taylor Swift okay, that's all I listen to, but one of my favorite artists right now is someone that I have the pleasure to call mutual on social media, Maury.
We've been following each other since sometime during COVID, we both were dancing on the app, so it's been a while and And genuinely, she is so talented.
It's insane.
If you like artists like Gracie Abrams or Lizzie McAlpine, you will love her.
She has a type of talent where there's not even a thought in my mind that she's not going to be big.
It's just a matter of when, when it's going to happen.
Her songwriting is so incredible.
And that's why I like Taylor Swift, because I truly just relate to everything that she writes, to the point where I'm like.
How do you know?
Like, are you actually in my brain?
The same thing with Maury.
The way she writes.
I'm like holy, how do you, how do you put what I'm thinking into into words?
It's insane.
If you listen to my podcast because you're an emotional person or you're an empath, or you're just someone who has a lot of love, but you haven't necessarily figured it out yet you will a thousand percent resonate with mori's music.
One of my favorite songs by her is the hell i die on.
But she just released an album called it can't be you, and i cannot stop listening to honest about it and miss you.
I hate it.
Let me just read you some lyrics really quick okay, really quick.
The first lyrics from her song honest about it.
You told me you were a bad person and i sat there and i argued with you the amount of people in my life who have shown me who they are.
They've told me who they are.
They've told me i'm a bad person.
They've shown me the things they've done to other people And I'd be like no, that's not you.
Like, this is going to be different.
You know, you're not going to do that to me because I'm different.
We're different.
Like you love me.
And I would try to convince myself that they weren't the person they were trying to show me.
They were
When someone tells you who they are, when someone shows you who they are, listen to them.
From that same song, more lyrics.
You blame me, pointed at your bruises.
I said sorry from the foot of my hospital bed.
You can interpret that any way that you want.
But when I heard that, I was like, wow, okay.
There's been so many times in my life where someone has hurt me so deeply, but somehow I'm still to blame.
I'm the one who's hurt them.
They could break my heart and I respond to them breaking my heart.
And they're like, how dare you?
How could you do this to me?
Meanwhile, I'm sitting there with a broken heart.
The music is just so good.
It really does speak for itself.
Go listen to it.
If you haven't heard her yet, you will hear her.
Mark my words, you will hear her.
You will know about her.
She's so good.
She's so talented.
Next, I want to dive into podcasts.
I'm a huge podcast girl, obviously.
That's how I got into podcasting, by listening to other podcasts.
But unless you have someone you go to, you know listen to every week, it can be overwhelming to know what's a good podcast to listen to.
It's hard to find a good podcast.
There are so many podcasts out there.
So these are a few that I listened to that I really liked and I think are similar to my episodes and I think you'll be into it.
So the first one was the podcast that changed my life.
This podcast is the reason why we are here now, and that's Mindset, Magic and Manifestation by Michaela Jay.
But the episode that I recently listened to that I really liked was Do Your Values, Support Your Manifestations.
I went looking for this episode because I needed someone to respectfully whoop my ass and talk some sense into me, because lately I have been feeling like my life has been very stagnant and very comfortable and very routine.
And although I like routine, I also am someone who needs to be challenged and I constantly want to be growing.
And if I'm being honest, I don't feel like I have been.
I went through this huge growth spurt in 2022 to, let's say 2024, and it felt like my life was constantly changing in the best way possible.
It felt like opportunities were flying at my face, and my life had just become something that I could have never imagined.
And then this year, although my life is different than it was a couple years ago and I'm in a much better place than I was when I was working at my old job, I
I got comfortable and I'm not doing anything to challenge me.
I just am in my routine.
This episode is sponsored by Revolve.
The month of December is crazy.
There's so many events, so many parties, and I am really big on fashion.
I love getting dressed up, especially during the holidays.
But I live in Connecticut, so there's not many stores to shop at near me.
The nearest mall is like an hour away.
And online shopping can be so stressful.
It's hard to find what you like, and then shipping takes forever.
But that's why I love shopping on Revolve.
Revolve's site is so easy to shop on, everything's curated perfectly for the holidays.
Revolve's holiday shop is live with all the trends sparkly party dresses, cozy sets, the cutest gifts and everything you need for every holiday event on your calendar.
There's new arrivals daily and 1200 plus brands in 100000 styles across fashion, beauty and home, from high-end to emerging and exclusive labels.
I'm into anything sparkly right now red dresses with bows, silver and sequins for New Year's Eve, and Revolve has all of that.
I'll have my Revolve favorites linked in the show notes so you can see what I'm shopping.
Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out or a holiday party, your dream wardrobe is just one click away.
Head to revolve.com slash tntc, shop my edit, and take 15% off your first order with code tntc.
Fast two-day shipping, easy returns, it's literally the only place you need to shop from.
That's revolve.com slash TNTC to shop my favorites and get 15% off your first order with code TNTC.
Offer ends December 22nd, so happy shopping.
It even got to a place this year where I was asking myself, what am I doing?
Like, am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
What do I want to be doing next?
How am I going to level up and do more?
Or am I going to stay where I'm at?
And it made me very depressed.
It made me very sad because I felt like I lost my spark.
And I remember there being an episode where Michaela said, if you're not growing, you're dying.
And that's exactly how I felt.
So I listened to this episode and basically Michaela talks a lot about do your values and do your plans align with growth or do they align differently, with comfortability?
If you were to look at your calendar for the next month, the next couple months, are you scheduling things in that are actually challenging you and align with your goals, or are you doing things that are comfortable but aren't going to put you where you need to be or where you want to be?
For example, let's say that you just moved to a new city and a goal of yours is to socialize more and get out there and meet new people.
If you were to look at your calendar, would your calendar be filled with plans that align with your goal or with your normal everyday routine?
Is your calendar filled with dates of you going to meet a new friend for coffee or to go to a new restaurant?
Is your calendar filled with dates of you going to a new girls group or a new fitness class?
Or is your calendar filled with you sitting at home playing on your computer, watching Netflix and scrolling on your phone?
So she talks about that.
She talks about the choices that you make.
The plans that you make inevitably reflect what your life looks like.
If you're making the same choices, the same comfortable plans, you're not challenging yourself, you're not going to grow.
It's a really quick episode but it's very motivational to challenge you, to push yourself to do more of what makes you uncomfortable and if you want your life to change for the better.
The next episode that I listened to that I really liked was by Self Obsessed, and it's how I became the woman of my dreams, and how you can too.
And I don't know if all of her episodes are like this, but this episode she was sitting down doing her makeup and talking, which I thought was really cool and unique for a podcast.
But something that I really liked and I really resonated with was she talked about how she used to listen to the old story of her life and kind of use it as evidence for who she should be now and this is something that I've struggled with and I've talked about this before that I would look back at my past and I would look at my reputation and how people perceived me and I would use that as a way to navigate life now and be like well, I can't do this because I'm not smart enough or people don't like me enough and my old self was hindering the potential of what I could be.
This was part of why I struggled to step into doing social media, because I was constantly thinking what are people out in my hometown going to think?
How do they see me?
You know, I'm not supposed to do this.
And I was playing it safe.
So in this episode she talks about killing your old self off and creating an alter ego to be able to step into the role of who you want to be.
By creating the alter ego and killing your old self off, you're no longer stuck in a box of well, I can't do this because my old self would never do this and people don't expect this from me.
You're a whole new person who acts differently, who thinks differently and lives differently.
The next thing she talks about is focusing on the steps, not necessarily the goal.
Your manifestation is not going to happen overnight.
It takes time.
Your life is not going to change overnight.
Making the small changes in your everyday routine, you know waking up earlier, eating healthier, staying off your phone and actually doing your work, having an organized schedule, staying to your schedule.
These are the things that are going to align you and bring you closer to getting what you want and living the life that you want to live.
Another thing that she said that I really liked was your dream girl is simply a book or a video away.
One of the reasons people don't get what they want, or they don't become who they want to be, is they make the excuse.
I don't know how.
I didn't go to school.
No one taught me how.
I don't know how to do this.
Whoever you envision yourself to be, whatever you want in your life, it is one podcast episode away, one book away, one Google search away.
Like I said before, the podcast Mindset Magic and Manifestation literally changed my life.
Before I found it, I was at my lowest point.
I was working a job that I hated.
I was making no money.
I had no friends.
I was so insecure.
I remember going on Spotify and searching up Manifestation Podcast, found that podcast, binged every single episode that was out and from that point on every single Friday when an episode would come out I would listen to it and I would take something from that podcast and apply it to my life so the episode I became the woman of my dreams and how you can too by self-obsessed talks a lot about being intentional and again making decisions that are going to align you with who you want to be and actually following through with who you want to be if that's up your alley if that's something you want to learn more about I definitely recommend that episode And then the third episode I listened to was Hot Girl Energy Holiday Non-Negotiables.
I love episodes like this.
They're just so festive.
They really put me in the mood.
And it's just a way to romanticize the month of December.
So Kaylee talks about festive plans.
She gives holiday bucket list ideas, gift ideas, and then her own personal wish list.
Episodes like this are my favorite.
I love to just throw it on when I'm making breakfast or running errands, cleaning the house.
Not everything has to be this huge think piece.
I love just chill relaxed, cozy moments comfort, holiday episodes, and this one was perfect, so i definitely recommend it.
But lastly, i want to end with my favorite creators.
Just like podcasts, it can be overwhelming not knowing who to watch or what to watch, because there's so many people out there, and i think curating your social media space is so important.
I think what you watch you inevitably become because you're consuming it and you're aligning yourself with it, So I am very careful with the creators and content that I consume.
So here are a few creators that I love this month or that I've just been loving this past year, that I think you will love too.
The first creator that I've been loving is Tony Bravo.
I'm new to Tony Bravo, but I'm going to be so honest here.
I got hooked on her because of how beautiful she is.
She is genuinely one of the prettiest people I've ever seen.
She has the best hair.
She has the best skin.
The first video I saw of her, I was gagged by how glowy she is.
She genuinely could be one of those people who only goes viral for how beautiful she is and how pretty her skin is.
You're not going to get it unless you see her.
And when you see her, you're going to be like, oh, I get it.
Like, I get it.
Insane.
And also, I love how she films her content.
I don't know how she films it, but it is crisp.
And that's something I really appreciate as a content creator.
I also love her beauty care tips.
Like, if you see me glowing the F up, just know it's because of her dead ass.
It is because of her.
If my makeup looks better than normal, it's because of her.
The next creator that i've been loving is sophia marin.
She's one of those creators who would always pop up my for you page and i would stop and watch it every single time.
Her videos are just very aesthetically pleasing.
She has the best coziest outfits and sets and she just makes the simple everyday things look fun and cutesy.
She's really locked down, romanticizing her life.
But the other day i finally was like wait, why do i follow her?
Like i love her.
She's just a very cozy comfort creator and when she pops up it feels like we're on FaceTime and I love it and I love her.
The next creator I love is Bella.Dain.
I love Bella because in between my brain rot videos that I consume.
There's creators like her who make me feel better about being on my phone, because I actually learn something again.
I think a lot of what we consume, or what we're consuming a lot of, becomes who we are because you're giving it attention.
Where attention goes, energy flows.
So I like to make sure I'm watching videos that either make me feel good, make me feel inspired or help me learn something in some way.
My favorite videos of hers are her advice ones, specifically the ones where she teaches you how to do something, like how to be a good conversationalist, or how to rewire your brain, or how to glow up using science.
She just made a video talking about things that she does in her life to make her more intelligent.
She calls it her personal curriculum.
For example, one thing she does is whenever she's doing her makeup or she's driving, she'll listen to a podcast, and a podcast specifically on neuroscience or psychology, which is right up my alley.
But I just love quick tips that are realistic and will actually help you grow.
So love her.
And then lastly for this episode, another creator that I love is Eli Rallo.
She's one of those creators that I look at and I'm like no, but like I actually need to be your best friend, because everything she posts I connect with spiritually, emotionally.
We just share the same brain.
And she is who I wish I was growing up.
Like.
If you listen to my podcast, you know that I always talk about how I wish I did theater in school and I wish I was more involved.
And she is just the embodiment of that.
I think she's so funny.
She's so smart and she's a powerhouse.
She gives off big sister vibes in her videos and I love that.
She shares all of her opinions and her thoughts and she doesn't care what people think.
And she also has two books.
But she just came out with a new book that I've been meaning to pick up and it's called does anyone else feel this way?
And if you love my podcast, I think you'll love her too, because from what I've seen about her books, they're about navigating your 20s and not having everything figured out.
And yeah, i just love her, and i think if you're looking for a good comfort creator or big sis online creator, she is a good one to follow.
But that is everything for december's media of the month.
I know that this was a quickie, but i hope that it was a good one.
I hope it was comforting and something very relaxing and chill to listen to.
I hope you're enjoying december and you're romanticizing december as much as i am.
If there's any media or just any favorites of yours that you want to share with us, You can share them on Spotify in the comments, or you can share in the group chat that's in the show notes.
My social media is also in the show notes if you want to follow me there.
As always, thank you so much for hanging out with me and listening to me yap.
I will talk to you next Monday.
So I'll see you then.
Love you.
