Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Crest podcast. I'm Crystal and I'm Jisoo.
I feel like we are nearing the end of summer, but we can't end summer without discussing brat summer.
So I'm sure a lot of people have maybe heard this word getting tossed around lately,
especially on social media, and I feel like it kind of epitomizes current slang and where it's at.
So let's talk about brat. The origin of it is Charli XCX's album, literally named brat,
and it's so iconic because it's just brat and like the most basic font, all lowercase,
on a like lime green background. And that album cover is so recognizable because my commute to
San Francisco, I would always drive by this one wall and it would have brat in that like lime green,
the lowercase text on the wall, I guess like some sort of marketing for the album or something.
But the moment I saw it, I could not stop thinking about it. And something about the color was just
so fresh. I was like, yeah, brat, like I love it. I don't know what it is, but I'm in.
I think it's also such a statement. You're like, what is brat? What does this mean?
And I think that's actually part of the huge fun and debate of this word that has
turned from a simple album, music album into a whole, I almost want to call it like a cultural
movement. It's just been like taking over things. And I think it's really funny because
people definitely debate if things are brat or not. And also it fundamentally changed the word
to brat is an adjective instead of like bratty. It's like it's brat. And I like the concept of
brat is so funny too, because like you said, it's something that people I guess are continually
defining. So if you look up articles about brat summer, instead of clearly defining what brat
means, it'll be like brat is a strappy white tank top with no bra. Oh my god, brat is smoking
cigarettes by the beach. Like, it's really just vibes only know, like a real definition of it.
Although if I were to really like try to put it into words, I think some words that come to mind
are like bold, doing whatever you want, not giving a fuck kind of attitude. Yeah. And I think it
also evokes kind of a grungy party aesthetic a little bit. So one of the things that I saw when
doing some brat research was someone labeled brat summer as the opposite movement to the clean girl
aesthetic. And I was like, Yeah, that makes sense. That does make sense. Smudgy gel eyeliner vibes
instead of like perfect slicked back bun vibes. Right. Like you were doing something you can
tell you you had fun and we're like engaging in activity. Right. Well, I do have a question for
you on the topic of brat. Do you think you have been having a brat summer this year? Oh,
oh, actually, I saw a meme that I think is relatable brat summer except I'm staying inside
and asleep by nine. That's kind of me except minus the sleep by nine part, but just brat summer
except I'm staying inside. I don't know if my summer has been very much brat, but my attitude
towards life has been totally brat. Okay, then that counts. You've been having a brat summer.
Although I will say maybe July has been brat. August has been more calm, but July was definitely
brat. You know, that's a good point. Actually, July was very brat. But August is demure.
August, we're like gathering ourselves to get back into the swing of things for September.
Not that we're in school or anything, but it just feels like the start of something new.
Totally feel that although it does make me a little bit sad because brat summer is such a
iconic concept that I'm like worried. I'm like, is brat summer only destined for summer of 2024?
Are we fucked for next summer? Not to be dramatic or anything.
I wonder if we'll just evolve it to brat fall, brat winter, brat year.
The bratism.
Because also I think people don't necessarily add the end modifier to it. Sometimes they're just
like, oh, that's brat. And I think some of the funny and simple ones are like, if anything is
lime green or any sort of bright green, people will be like, oh, that's brat.
I saw a funny one that was like the picture of one of the New York subways, the G line,
which is notoriously unreliable. And it's also one of the green colored lines.
The tweet was like this diva right here. She's truly having a brat summer,
not working, taking time off to vibe until Labor Day.
Yeah, brat is an attitude. Actually, it's a lifestyle.
Yeah.
So hopefully it's with us for good.
Should we be getting like some lime green t-shirts to wear?
With brat on it or no brat? What's brattier?
Without brat, because then it's a if you know, you know situation.
True, true.
It's like real brats would understand.
So actually, our topic today gives me a little bit of brat energy,
because we wanted to talk a bit about dealing with people you dislike.
I guess this makes it sound super negative, but it doesn't always have to be someone you hate.
But maybe it's just someone that you have had negative experiences with in the past,
and you have to continually see or something like that.
So we really just wanted to sit down and chat through our techniques,
our warning signs, and any sort of reversals that we've seen in the past as well.
So I guess the first question here is like, how does dislike maybe start for you?
Where does it usually root from?
I think for the most part, when you meet people and interact with them,
I feel like a lot of people tend to stay in the midsection where it's not really like
you like them, but you also don't dislike them.
You're just neutral.
At the end of the day, even if you have a couple conversations with someone,
you might not really know them.
So I feel most people stay in that neutral slash inoffensive range.
But I definitely have had my fair share of people that I dislike.
And it's kind of hard to categorize because I think some of them, there is like something.
Maybe there's like an event that happens.
There's something that I catch that I find is like slightly weird or off-putting about them.
But sometimes it's like, honestly, just kind of based on vibes,
which sounds a little horrible, but it's almost like an instinctive,
like, yeah, we're like super different and not in a way that is positive.
Right, because so it's not necessarily like a dislike, but it's just like,
oh, this isn't something I'm used to.
So you have like a weird feeling about it.
Maybe that's just not necessarily positive.
Yeah.
I'm like, maybe the better way of thinking about it is instead of, oh, I dislike you.
It's kind of like if I had to categorize you between yes and no,
I would probably put you in no.
Yes, I think I understand.
Like you probably wouldn't have hung out with this person,
if not for mutual friends.
I think I'm probably similar to you.
Maybe if someone is kind of rude or like makes me feel uncomfortable,
then I would also kind of like fall into that.
Oh, I like, I want to stay away from this person, you know?
But I think there's also sometimes just like an unfair position where like,
let's say I'm just in a terrible mood and I just hate everyone.
If you are in that unfortunate situation and have caught me in a terrible mood,
then like, I'm sorry, I might just like instinctually dislike everyone around me.
And that impression just stays in my brain for some reason.
No, honestly, you bring up a good point because dislike isn't always justified.
And another example that I can think of kind of along the same lines
is maybe you're at a bigger event and there's like groups of people, right?
And say one group of people are being super loud and obnoxious,
and you're kind of in your quiet era.
So then you might be like, oh, that group of people, they're not my vibe.
When maybe on an individual level, like you would totally get along,
but because of the circumstances, they're like temporarily slotted as disliked.
So true.
This can even happen with good friends, maybe, you know, we're hanging out
and half of the people are just like super, super energetic and being really loud.
In that moment, you're like, you're one of my best friends, but like, I dislike you right now.
That's very true.
Which I guess just goes to show it's not always like super personal.
Sometimes it is just like case by case situation.
But I do want to ask, when you have these feelings of dislike,
do you think it's obvious to the people around you that you might potentially dislike someone?
I feel like if you know me, yes.
And maybe you can confirm or deny this, but I feel like it's not too difficult to tell
with me.
I'll probably just be more quiet or reserved around you.
Yeah, I've definitely seen that.
And I'm like, wow, like internally laughing.
Because I think there's two archetypes, right?
One type of person is, if you dislike someone, they will know.
And you will like let them know.
And then the other type is like, I'm just going to crawl back into my show until like,
I am removed from this situation or something.
I can't decide sometimes because it's like, on a certain level,
treating everyone with respect and kindness is nice, I think.
But maybe if you dislike someone, if you treat them like that, are people like, oh my god,
you're so fake because you were so nice to me.
And then you turn around and like should talk to your friends or something, right?
But then I'm like, I don't know, I wouldn't want to like treat you poorly either,
just because like maybe you rubbed me the wrong way because of a certain thing.
That's a good point.
I guess there's like a fine line where you can be polite and tactful without necessarily
like showering them with compliments or something like that.
But I feel like when you're actually in that social situation, it can be sort of hard to gauge.
But at the end of the day, maybe the best solution is always to kind of slowly fade
away into the background and have like a short, polite, but short conversation.
Yeah, I think I tend to try to keep our interaction pretty short.
But I don't want it to be a negative interaction.
So I try to keep it pretty like neutral to positive.
But yeah, it's difficult because sometimes at the end of the day, you vent to your friends,
you're like, actually, this person rubs me the wrong way.
But like, whatever.
I mean, in high school years, that would obviously very easily become
blown out of proportion right there.
Oh my god, this person thinks I'm a bitch or whatever.
But I think it's just like it's natural.
You can't like everyone.
Totally.
I'm trying to think if it's obvious when I dislike someone.
I think there are probably times where it is really obvious.
But I've been working on trying to hide it a little bit better.
Yeah, so I think in more recent years,
my skills on hiding it have been improving.
I think you're pretty good at hiding it for the most part.
Oh, really?
I think like with your game face on for like a social event,
you can definitely match everyone's vibes.
Happy vibes.
Wait, okay.
That makes me very happy actually.
It's working.
To be fair, I think if there's people who we don't vibe with as much,
we're not, you know, voluntarily trying to put them in an uncomfortable situation
to like hang out with us.
There's also that.
That's true.
It's definitely getting rare and rare to like have these interactions with people
we might potentially dislike because it's so curated now.
It's like you see who you want to see.
Okay, what if you maybe don't love someone, but they like really like you?
Has that ever happened to you?
Maybe back in school, this was like a little bit more common.
But it's definitely a hard situation to navigate.
I feel like it adds to the guilt a little bit more instead of just being like,
oh, I would prefer not to see someone.
It's like I would prefer not to see them.
And on top of that, I have all these shitty feelings like storming around inside my brain.
I think this did kind of happen to me, but it's a little like different.
But I was on this like group trip and there was this person who honestly,
I would say we like we were friends, like we got along well together.
But there was like a moment of annoyance.
So I guess like in that moment, I disliked them for a bit.
And it's such a stupid thing too.
It was like later on the trip, we were all on the bus going from like destination A to B.
And I was sitting next to my friend and then I guess like they fell asleep.
And then they like fell onto my shoulder.
Dude, I don't know.
I was like an angsty teen or whatever.
But also I think it was like a surprise in the moment.
I was like, oh, my personal space has just been invaded without any like prior acknowledgement.
But also it's like I can't do anything about it because they're just sleeping.
I don't want to like wake them up and be like, don't fucking sleep on my shoulder.
Honestly, there's like no harm or anything.
But I think it's like the surprise traveling, being in a new place.
Jet lag, tired, all of that added up.
And in that moment, I was annoyed.
And I actually thought about it a lot after that happened.
Like sometimes I still think about it.
I'm like, why the fuck was I so annoyed?
I think so much of what we consider dislike or like annoyance is unexplainable.
You know, it's like so many factors combined into like one flash of like rage or something.
But I feel like I've also had moments where I'm like,
suddenly, I don't like hanging out with this person.
And it's like completely irrational.
And I'm like, okay, I know it's shitty, but I still feel it.
I guess maybe part of this could be your social battery is truly drained and you
haven't recognized it yet.
And then this flash of annoyance or anger is like one of the signs.
Because on that trip, I think I was in high school, you know, I might not have been as like
self aware.
And then also, we were all just a bunch of, you know, like teenage kids.
This trip was like one or two weeks long.
And we all had to like share rooms as well for our room and board.
And I'm definitely an introvert.
You know, I know now that I really appreciate it when I have time to recharge that social
battery.
So just thinking back on that trip, I'm like, yeah, it was super fun.
But I was probably like dying at the end.
Like, where can I just sit by myself to like recover every single waking moment?
Otherwise, I was like with people.
Yeah, that's really tough.
And I feel like especially when we're young, hormones are raging, there's like all this
academic pressure on your shoulders or just, you know, like the whole future is in front of you.
And you're like at such an inflection point in your life.
Navigating these social situations is not as easy.
Because like you said, now that we're older, like we know our preferences.
And to a certain extent, we also know our limits.
Like I know I can't hang out with someone too many consecutive days in a row.
Otherwise, I'll start going crazy.
So then back then, I feel like we didn't really know that.
So then I remember like summer vacations and stuff.
Every single day we would hang out.
And then I would be like, why am I starting to feel like annoyed all the time?
Instead of thinking, oh, maybe this is like too much hanging out.
Yeah, for sure.
But do you think like, in terms of these, you know, whether it's a flash of like annoyance
or dislike in the moment, or maybe like a poor first impression, have you ever been able to like
overlook that or like turn it around and then turn this situation into actually a very positive
friendship?
Honestly, yeah, I can definitely think of maybe like a few key people where maybe my first
impression or like first interaction with them was not super positive.
And then I left that interaction being like, oh, that was weird.
Like, hopefully, I don't have to talk to this person again.
But after conversation two, conversation three, I was like, wait, this person is awesome.
And, you know, maybe in that moment where I was first talking to them,
I could have been looking for something specific.
Like, you know how sometimes you're in that era where you're like, I want to have deep talks,
or like, sometimes you're like, I don't want to have deep talks.
Like, I just want to have fun right now.
Like, you know, depending on what you want in that moment, I feel like that's kind of
like the great book that you use to evaluate your interaction with someone.
So then over time, when the sample size grows, maybe it kind of like evens out a little.
Right, like you start to see them as a whole person versus just that one like instance of them.
Yeah.
Also, the other thing too, is I feel like for most people, myself completely included,
there's like specific environments where they're the most fun or like they're the most themselves.
I realize I don't love lunch dates.
But if we grab coffee or like grab a drink or something,
I feel like that's something that I prefer a little bit more.
Wow, good to know.
I think we've had a lunch date before.
Well, it wasn't just us two.
Oh my god, that was fun.
That was fun.
I don't know.
It's just like some lunches I just can't do.
I'm like, oh, lunch.
No lunch dates with Jisoo.
Me crossing out every potential lunch date for the rest of our lives.
You're like, I'm just going to cancel these.
But I think that's totally fair.
For example, I'm not a morning person.
So if someone was like, Crystal, let's grab like early breakfast,
I would probably be like, I would literally rather die.
You're like, I can't think of anything I want to do less.
Like you're telling me I need to wake up at 6am to eat food
when I could just sleep and eat later.
Oh my god.
So you know, like if someone were to first meet me at lunch
or first meet you at breakfast, they might be like, these girls are wack.
Yeah, yeah.
This is why it's like the only time I can do a morning meal with people,
a social morning meal, is if it's brunch and usually alcohol is involved.
Then I'm tolerable.
But that's it.
Yeah, that's the earliest you can go.
When my boyfriend and I first started dating,
I told him I was like, I'm not really a morning person.
I definitely don't wake up early.
I guess the first time he witnessed it, he was like, oh, you really aren't a morning person.
He's like, you're super grumpy in the morning.
I was like, yeah, I'm not my best self.
It is kind of funny though, because, you know,
there's been social situations where I've showed up and on the way home,
I'm like, that wasn't like the best impression of me because I'm tired
because I just had this stressful thing and blah, blah.
Like there's always reasons why you are a certain way at any sort of event, I think.
True.
But it's not like other people know that.
So I guess the learning here is maybe when I judge people on like,
oh, this person was being so X or this person was being so Y.
There's all these personal reasons that they might have had
that I would have like no clue about.
Yeah, that's a really good point.
Like not every day is going to be everyone's best day of their life.
And I think we've talked about this a really long time ago on the podcast,
but first impressions are truly like not indicative of what a person is like.
So, you know, if you meet a person one time and you hit it off, that's amazing.
But if you don't, that doesn't necessarily mean that that's who they are all the time.
Yeah.
One of the things that I've been trying to be a little bit more conscious of now in my late 20s
is I realize sometimes when I dislike someone,
it's also like me just projecting my insecurities onto them.
For example, I can be fairly awkward sometimes and like anxious.
It's not a quality that I like love about myself.
And it's definitely something that when it comes up, I'm like, oh God, like here we go again.
So sometimes when I see someone and I can like sniff out similarities between us,
especially similarities of qualities that I dislike about myself.
I think I sometimes interpret that as, oh, I don't really vibe with this person
when that's not really fair.
It's not like I don't vibe with this person.
It's more like I don't vibe with myself and this person is like
collateral damage from my negative feelings about myself.
They're catching strays.
So then when I was younger, I don't think I really realized this,
but now that I'm older, I'm like, okay, that's like kind of shitty.
So if I'm able to recognize it, I try to kind of stray away from these negative feelings or like,
at least talk myself out of it.
Like, oh, you're just projecting your own insecurities.
Like it's not this person's fault.
That's such a good point.
I think I can completely relate.
It's like this person is just too real.
Like you're facing everything that you don't like about yourself.
You're like, how could I possibly like this person?
But in the moment you just don't realize that's what's happening
that a mirror is actually just put in front of you.
But I think another aspect of that is maybe in the moment you're feeling insecure
because of, I don't know, anxiety or you had a bad day
and then you project that onto the people that you met.
It's like, oh, because this was a bad day.
Everyone else is colored in like a more negative light
when, you know, if it was a good day, like you would have loved everyone.
True.
And I feel like this can also extend too on feelings that you have about other people.
This is a little bit immature, but it's like, you know,
when you go to meet your friend's friends and you might only know your friend who invited you,
but your friend knows like this entire group of people who have their own inside jokes
and whatever with your friend.
Like I feel like in moments like that, I like have to actively talk myself out of,
okay, like it's okay that this person has other friends, you know,
you don't have to be insecure about it.
Like you don't have to be jealous.
And at the very least, don't let this jealousy turn into dislike or something.
And I feel like this sounds very high school, but, you know, I'll be honest,
like I still feel feelings like this well into my 20s.
Instead of like denying these feelings,
I guess the solution is more to just knock it off as soon as you start to sense it.
To like face it and like deal with it.
Yeah, exactly.
But then you're like, oh, this is so difficult.
I know it really is hard.
I think the easy thing to do is just be like, yeah, I fucking hate everyone here.
I mean, that's like, I feel like that's Brett.
Damn, that is Brett.
And on that topic, I think that it's also more accepted now for people to,
I guess like not openly hate people, but like express their dislike of people or situations.
It's more of a like, yeah, you don't have to pretend you just like everything.
It's okay to be like, oh, yeah, I don't vibe with this person as much.
So I would prefer to like hang out with these other friends that I like more.
I love that opting out is an option.
Like you can always feel free to opt out of stuff.
Yeah.
I guess like part of it is being unapologetic, which is, you know, part of being brat too.
But of course, at the same time, as we talked about, I don't know,
it's like such a fine line, right?
Because it's like, yeah, you can openly admit that maybe you dislike, you know,
certain people or things, but also like you don't want to be too rude about it, I guess.
So you don't want to be giving them a horrible time
just because of your own preference.
And honestly, I feel like it's not super uncommon to have to interact with someone
that you might not really like.
And there's a lot of techniques that you can use.
I feel like one easy go to thing is humor.
Maybe you can try to see if there's some level of humor that you and this person
kind of can meet each other at and then just push that.
Instead of trying to have serious conversations or like something
that doesn't seem to work with this person, you can just try to make things lighter
and make it funny and like crack some jokes.
Yeah, true.
And I guess like, you know, ultimately, the ideal here is you just try to limit your interaction
so that no one has to deal with the shitty situation of spending time with people they might
not want to.
But what if, and this is probably a very difficult question, what if it's someone
you see a lot because of maybe mutual friends or history of friendship?
Have you ever had to like deal with that?
So definitely not in recent years.
But I think back in high school and college, this was way more common.
And I feel like there's like only two paths out that I have seen.
So one is, like you said, limit all interaction.
But this can be kind of hard.
Say this person is in your friend group or something, and you guys always hang out.
You can't just like ignore one person out of however many people they're like, that's just
weird.
And not only is it weird for both of you, it's also weird for everyone else around you.
So if you're unable to like avoid conversation with them, I feel like the next best way is
find one thing.
And then every time you see them, you like talk about that one thing.
And then you just leave it at that.
So at least you're like talking.
But you can just be like, how's your dog?
And then that's it.
You like walk away after that conversation.
But at least you talked, you know?
Right, right, right.
Basically put in some effort to be cordial.
Yeah, I feel like dislike too can be general, but sometimes it's also like specific.
Like you might not like a specific person when they drink,
or you might not like a specific person when they play sports or like talk about politics
or something.
So then you just identify what the pain points are and then like steer clear as far as possible.
That's true.
And I think it would be fair if say like a conversation topic came up and you're like,
oh, guys, I don't want to talk about this.
And then, you know, try to like avoid that discomfort.
Right.
Have you ever been in a situation like that?
I think luckily, not in a situation where like I've had to constantly see someone who I
don't want to.
Okay, honestly, I think I very luckily don't have like intense hatred for anyone.
But you know, maybe like a minor dislike.
If I can avoid it, like I'll try not to hang out with this person as much.
But I think in the few times that I do, I just try my best to like enjoy the moment, you know?
Like don't let this feeling ruin the night for everyone.
That kind of feeling.
And I think it usually tends to help.
And when you try to keep a more positive mindset, I think it does help you see like the good sides
of that person that you dislike as well.
I mean, like, you know, that doesn't mean that it has to change necessarily.
Like, oh, suddenly, I love them now.
But I think it just helps you get through that moment.
Like just don't let your dislike consume you and try to just like let go of some of that,
you know, control, I guess.
Just like whatever, like everyone's just here to have fun.
Damn, actually, that's a really good point.
Because I feel like the more you get to know someone, it's harder and harder to dislike them.
Which is why maybe sometimes it's harder of a hill to start disliking like a family member or
something, because you know so much about them and they're like upbringing and they're like
background and whatnot.
And maybe that's also why it's like easy to hype on the hate train of someone you like barely know,
because you don't know like redeeming qualities about them.
That's true.
That's true.
And I think you can totally see that in media too.
Like if there's social media stars or celebrities or something,
we only know so much about this person, right?
Whatever is put out into the media for everyone to see.
And so it's really easy for people to form opinions when like we don't actually know that person.
And I feel like this is why gossip, when you're older, is like a little bit less serious than it
was when you're younger.
Like I don't know how to phrase it, but if I heard a piece of gossip in high school or college,
I was like, damn, this person's crazy or like I can't believe this person did that.
And then now I'm probably more likely to take it with a grain of salt.
We might have fun and like gossip about it,
but I'm not going to like go home thinking, yeah, this person is like truly a horrible person.
Yeah, you're so right.
I was thinking of the exact same term.
Like I would take gossip with a grain of salt.
Or I feel like sometimes what's really juicy about a piece of gossip is the situation.
And then, you know, maybe that kicks off the conversation and then it evolves into like
hypotheticals like, wow, what would we do if we were in this situation?
It like goes beyond just the original little piece of gossip.
But this does bring me to ask because going back to how gossip felt super serious kind of in high
school, I feel like the other thing in high school that was big was if your friend hates someone,
then you are like semi obligated to hate them as well.
So were you or are you currently a believer that you're obligated to hate the people your friends
hate?
Ooh, I think I was in high school.
And I think it comes from the place of like, I want to support my friend.
Right.
So if they're like, Oh my god, this person was bothering me.
I don't like them.
Then you're like, Oh, yeah, you're totally in the right, you're valid, blah, blah, blah.
I think that's where it kind of comes from.
And I think also it's a little different because you know, when we're in that age range,
a big thing that we're worried about is like, Oh, I want to fit in.
I want to have friends.
I want to have like a place where I feel comfortable.
So sometimes you even just like brainwash yourself into thinking like, I have to
match my friends preferences, or else they'll drop me or something.
Right.
Right.
So I think as we've gotten older, maybe not as much, but I think it still leaves an impression on me.
Like if someone were to say, Oh my god, this person was like so rude,
that becomes my first impression of them.
And so rather than them starting at like a neutral for me when I meet them next time,
they're like ever so slightly in the negative.
Like, Oh my god, they were rude to my friend.
That's basically an interaction with me.
I totally feel that actually, I was also very much in the camp of like,
if you wrong my friend, you have wronged me back in high school.
And honestly, probably most of college as well.
So I kind of saw it as like a stamp of loyalty thing, which thinking back,
that's not really how it works.
But of course, there's also a difference between whether someone was mildly annoying
to your friend and whether they were like truly offensive and like bothersome to your friend as
well.
Yes, very true.
But yeah, agree that in adulthood, it doesn't feel as like, okay, my bestie hates this person,
therefore I do too.
But I will say like, if you and your friend have similar preferences, or similar like values and
stuff, I feel like it does still kind of end up that way.
Like you might generally like or dislike similar groups of people.
Agreed.
And I think you're right too, that if like someone truly did wrong your friend, and like,
you know, did horrible things to them, did stuff that had horrible lasting impact,
I would definitely lean towards the Oh, yeah, I probably hate this person too.
But this does kind of remind me of like the funny situation when it's like,
you know, maybe you didn't really vibe with someone at a party or at a social gathering.
And you didn't ask one of your good friends yet, how they feel about that person.
And you're trying to gauge like, oh, shoot, did they actually like this person?
Or, or are we allowed to like discuss why they rubbed me the wrong way?
Right, right.
And it's like, you're towing the line.
You're like, Yeah, um, so what'd you think about so and so?
Did you get a chance to like talk to them at all?
Like, who's gonna be the first one to break the wall and be like,
oh my god, like they did this really rude thing to me.
And yeah, I feel about them.
Because you don't want to be the one who's like, God, wasn't that guy so weird?
And then your friend's like, Oh, I thought he was really cool.
Like I had like a great conversation with him.
Yeah, because then part of it, you're like, Oh, shit, it must be me.
Like, I need to check myself.
Like, why am I hating on these people?
Exactly.
Although, I feel like there's always a key word to like look out for.
Anytime someone's like, yeah, that was interesting.
Or like, he was interesting.
I feel like it usually opens the door just a little bit of like shit talk territory.
And like the tone of voice as well.
The pauses.
Like he was interesting versus he was interesting.
Yeah.
But you know, all this to say, I will be the first one that I'm not above a good shit talk set.
Sometimes it just clears the mind.
And it doesn't even have to be like, deep from your soul.
It's just like light gauze.
And then you like move on with your life.
Sometimes it can be as simple as oh my god, like this person was so rude to me.
Like they didn't respond when I tried to have a conversation with them.
And you just need to like vent it out.
And then after that, you're like, okay, I feel a lot better now.
True.
And sometimes I kind of resets you into like neutral territory with that person again.
It's like, oh, I like, got my feelings about this out.
So next time I see him, I won't feel like resentment or anything.
True.
Ultimately, I guess like sometimes it sucks to admit or like just say out loud,
but sometimes it is inevitable to feel that dislike.
And I don't know if I'm like saying this in the most understandable way,
but I just think there's like always going to be some facet of you that
is going to like cause someone else to dislike you or, you know,
someone else has some part that makes you dislike them.
It's just like inevitable.
No two people are like 100% match.
Everyone will always have conflict somehow, some way.
And I guess like the most we can do is just figure out how to deal with it on our own side,
you know, how to let go of it or like process that emotion
or just avoid it if you know, it's going to like bother you a lot.
It's funny talking to you about this because like you said,
everyone has like one person or something or another that they dislike,
but the concept of disliking people isn't really discussed like this.
So then my personal takeaways is like, one, honestly, it's like unserious.
And like you said, unavoidable to an extent.
So it doesn't have to be like super emotional to like dislike or get disliked by someone.
And two, sometimes the root of the dislike is from within you.
The color is coming from inside the house.
So if you're the problem, recognize it and just be like, yeah,
I'm like a hater today or like I'm in my hater era.
So ignore me, you know.
Yeah, I totally agree.
Sometimes you just got to fucking hate a little bit.
But in a self-aware way.
It would be impossible to never have negative emotions.
Sometimes an unfortunate bystander will take the brunt of your hating,
whether it's behind closed doors or out in public.
Yeah, and like we said, it might not always be permanent.
It might just be like a very temporary feeling.
And then the next time you see this person, you might be best friends.
It's not an end all be all kind of situation either.
For sure.
So for our listeners out there, if you have any thoughts about dealing with your
personal feelings of dislike towards others, feel free to share with us.
We have Instagram at eatyourcrosspod and we also have email eatyourcrosspod at gmail.com.
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We upload new episodes every Wednesday morning.
Thanks for listening.
And don't forget to eat your crust.
