Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 565, Dating a Friend's Ex.
This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 565.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
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That gives you some additional help in improving your English.
This episode is called Dating a Friend's Ex.
The term ex can refer to your former boyfriend, your former girlfriend.
It could also refer to your former husband or wife.
Sounds interesting.
Let's get started.
Where are you going?
I'm going to meet Peter.
When are you going to tell Lily?
Tell her what?
You know what.
That you're dating her ex.
She's not going to take it well.
I don't know why she would object.
They broke up over a year ago, and they've both moved on.
Peter has moved on, but Lily still has a thing for him.
You know that as well as I do.
She never said that he was off limits.
It's not like we're sneaking around behind her back. aren't you?
She's one of your best friends and you haven't clued her in on the two of you yet.
If you don't tell her soon when she finds out all hell is going to break loose.
That's not fair.
If there were a statute of limitations on ex-boyfriends then we're well past that.
He's fair game.
That's not how she's going to see it.
If you ask me, you have two options.
Break it off with Peter or tell Lily now before she finds out from someone else.
Tell her the truth and let the chips fall where they may.
That's easy for you to say.
You're not facing Lily's wrath.
I think I'll keep this under wraps for now.
Thank you very much.
Fine, but it's your funeral.
Our dialogue begins with Farid saying to Amber, where are you going?
Amber says, I'm going to meet Peter.
Farid says, when are you going to tell Lily?
Lily's a girl, a woman.
Amber says, tell her what?
Fareed says, you know what, you know what I am talking about, that you're dating her ex.
So, to review, Fareed, the man, is a friend with Amber, the woman, in the dialogue.
Amber is dating, is going on a romantic evening or afternoon with Peter.
Peter used to be the boyfriend of Lily, another woman who is not in the dialogue.
So we would say Amber is dating Lily's ex.
Here I think her ex-boyfriend, her previous or former boyfriend.
Farid says that Lily is not going to take it well.
To take something well means to handle or manage a negative situation calmly positively, without getting angry or upset.
Usually, when you tell someone bad news, if they say oh okay, they may be very disappointed, but they don't show it.
They take it well.
Well, Farid says that Lily is not going to take the news that Amber is dating her ex well.
Amber says, I don't know why Lily would object.
There's no reason for her to object.
To object means to oppose something, to do or say something.
That shows that you don't agree with this, that you think it's a bad idea.
The word object has a couple of different meanings in English, however.
Make sure you look at the learning guide for some additional explanations of that word.
Amber says, I don't know why she would object.
They, meaning Lily and Peter, broke up over a year ago, and they've both moved on.
To break up in this dialogue means to end a romantic relationship.
Your boyfriend and girlfriend for a year, six months, and then she says to you I don't love you anymore or I found someone who's better looking and makes more money and I am leaving you.
I'm going to break up with you.
I think that's what she said to me.
I'm not sure.
Something like that.
Well, Amber is saying that Peter and Lily broke up over a year ago, a long time ago, and that they've both moved on.
To move on is a phrasal verb meaning that you've stopped thinking about something in the past and you are living your normal life again.
If your girlfriend leaves you, you may be very upset for a week or two weeks or a month or two months, but eventually you have to move on.
You have to get over it, forget about it, find another fish in the sea, as we say.
The word move has many different meanings in English.
Please take a look at our learning guide again for some more explanations.
Farid says to Amber, Peter has moved on.
Peter is no longer thinking about his ex-girlfriend, Lily.
But Lily still has a thing for him, for Peter.
The expression to have a thing for someone means that you are romantically attracted to that person.
You're interested in that person romantically.
He has a thing for his boss's daughter.
Probably not a good idea.
Unless, of course, you want to take over the company, and then you should probably pursue that.
Go ahead with that.
Lily still has a thing for Peter.
And Fareed says, you know that as well as I do.
He's saying to Amber, you already know that Lily has not moved on.
Amber says, she, Lily, never said that he, Peter, was off limits.
To be off hyphen limits means to be not allowed, prohibited, forbidden.
It could be a thing, it could be a place that is off limits.
You cannot go there.
Amber says It's not like means, it is not the case or it is not true that were sneaking around behind her back.
To sneak, S-N-E-A-K, around behind someone's back.
Notice it's around and behind together.
To sneak around behind someone's back means to do something without another person knowing, to hide what you are doing, to try not to let someone know what you are doing.
So they're not sneaking around behind Lily's back.
Fareed says, aren't you?
She's one of your best friends, and you haven't clued her in on the two of you yet.
To clue someone in is a phrasal verb meaning to give someone a little bit of information about something, to tell someone what is happening.
Farid is saying that Amber has not told Lily that she, Amber, is dating Lily's ex-boyfriend, Peter.
She hasn't clued her in.
He says if you don't tell her soon, when she finds out, all hell is going to break loose.
So if Amber does not tell Lily about her dating, Peter Farid is saying that when Lily finds out on her own, all hell is going to break loose.
The phrase all hell is going to break loose is an informal one.
The word hell is usually not used in formal or polite conversation, unless you are talking about the place hell where, in the Christian religion, you go if you have been bad in this life.
But as a general rule, we don't say hell in polite conversation.
So this is an informal phrase.
It's used to mean that there will be a major or very big problem and people are going to get very angry, very upset when this thing happens.
All hell is going to break loose means.
Once people find out, they're going to be angry, they're going to be mad, they're going to do something about it.
Amber says that's not fair.
That's not just or right.
If there were a statute of limitations on ex-boyfriends, then we're well past that.
He's fair game.
A statute of limitations is a legal term, an official term that describes the maximum amount of time during which you can take some legal action.
For example, if you steal someone's car and the police do not find you, do not catch you.
They have only a certain number of years to find you.
If after, let's say, five years, they don't find you, There may be a statute which is another word for a law, a statute of limitations that says, after five years, if the police don't catch you and don't try to put you in jail, then they cannot try to catch you and put you in jail after it.
You are basically free.
Here, Amber is using the expression to mean that there isn't a time limit on when you can date someone's ex-boyfriend.
And if there were, if one did exist, it has been a long time.
And therefore, we are well past that.
We are past the time when I have to wait before I can date this ex-boyfriend.
He's fair game.
Fair game means that something is allowed, something can be had or used by anyone, not just one person.
When you say something is fair game, you mean anybody can take it.
In this case, anybody can date Peter.
Farid says that's not how Lily's going to see it.
If you ask me, if you ask my advice, you have two options, two things you can do.
Break it off with Peter or tell Lily now before she finds out from someone else.
To break something off is a phrasal verb meaning to end a relationship or to end an agreement that you have with someone else.
In this case Farid is saying either Amber should break up with Peter or she should tell Lily about it now.
This is a common expression, to let the chips, C-H-I-P-S, fall where they may.
This means to accept the consequences, the results of your actions.
To see what happens, especially when the results, the consequences may be negative.
This expression comes from card playing, like they do in Las Vegas, when you are betting money, when you are putting your money down saying that you're going to win, for example, a game of poker.
The chips are the round, usually plastic-colored discs that represent money.
So you don't actually put $100 on the table in Las Vegas if you are gambling.
You would have a chip that would be worth $100, would be a symbol for the $100 chip.
But the expression is used generally, let the chips fall where they may, to mean that you have to accept the consequences of your actions, even though they are negative.
Amber says, that's easy for you to say.
You're not facing Lily's wrath.
Wrath, W-R-A-T-H, is anger, someone who is very upset.
She's saying that Lily will be very upset when she tells her.
Amber says I think I'll keep this under wraps for now.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much means I don't want your opinion or I am not going to follow your advice.
To keep something under wraps.
W-R-A-P-S means to keep something secret, not to let anyone else know about it.
I'm going to keep this under wraps.
Usually it's a bad idea to have secrets, especially with your friends girlfriends, wives and so forth.
It's a very bad idea.
Trust me.
Farid says, fine, okay, but it's your funeral.
A funeral is a ceremony you have when someone dies to remember them.
You all get together and you have this funeral, this sort of meeting where you remember the person who died.
The expression it's your funeral is an informal one, meaning that you think the other person's actions are going to cause a lot of problems.
Not necessarily death, but you're not going to interfere with their decision.
When someone says it's your funeral, they're saying to you something bad is going to happen to you, but it's none of my business.
I'm not going to interfere.
I'm not going to try to stop you.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
When are you going to tell Lily?
Tell her what?
You know what.
That you're dating her ex.
She's not going to take it well.
I don't know why she would object.
They broke up over a year ago, and they've both moved on.
Peter has moved on, but Lily still has a thing for him.
You know that as well as I do.
She never said that he was off limits.
It's not like we're sneaking around behind her back.
Aren't you?
She's one of your best friends and you haven't clued her in on the two of you yet.
If you don't tell her soon, when she finds out, all hell is going to break loose.
That's not fair.
If there were a statute of limitations on ex-boyfriends, then we're well past that.
He's fair game.
That's not how she's going to see it.
If you ask me, you have two options.
Break it off with Peter, or tell Lily now before she finds out from someone else.
Tell her the truth and let the chips fall where they may.
That's easy for you to say.
You're not facing Lily's wrath.
I think I'll keep this under wraps for now.
Thank you very much.
Fine, but it's your funeral.
I don't think anyone will object if I thank the writer of this script for this episode, Dr Lucy Say.
Thank you, Lucy.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us next time on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2010 by the Center for Educational Development.
