Hey, A.D.Z. listeners. This is Jack here. And if you would like to become an
exclusive subscriber to the show, you can hit the link in the description. And that
will take you to our Red Circle page, where for a dollar ninety-nine a month, you
will get access to an extra two or three episodes each week. And be careful. Don't
hit that donation button if you want to become an exclusive subscriber, because
the donation button is just a one-time donation. However, the exclusive subscriber
button will give you access to the extra two or three episodes each week. So
make sure you hit that exclusive subscriber button if you want access to the
extra episodes. Now let's get on with the show. Welcome to the A.D.Z. English
podcast. My name is Jack. And today we are and I'm with my co-host, Sochil, of
course. And we are in the culture corner. And we're talking about what do you do
when you meet the parents of your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time?
What kind of etiquette do you like behavior should you display? What should
you do? What shouldn't you do? So Sochil, do you have like a list of do's and
don'ts for our listeners out there who may be like meeting their significant
others parents for the first time? Yeah, I know I we just had an episode
talking about how you can dress like a slug anywhere in America. But a first
date and also meeting of parents are two occasions where I would never do
that. So you want to go in kind of business casual attire, which means a
nice dress shirt usually or a polo. Yes. Or it could be a crisp clean looking
solid color, no logos, no designs, a well fitted t-shirt and a neutral tone. And
a pair of either nice clean no tears jeans or a pair of slacks kind of
casual khaki black neutral tone slacks. And where you know a pair of clean crisp
white sneakers or some casual dress shoes don't go in as a man wearing like
rocks or like sandals. And if you're a woman just go in a nice kind of also
neutral toned or it can be patterned. It doesn't really have to be a neutral tone
but just kind of a tasteful dress. Nothing too crazy, nothing too extravagant.
Might wear something neutral, might wear something in a light pink or blue or
something like that. But just a simple casual floral dress with a little card
again. And your footwear is also more relaxed. You can wear a pair of clean
tennis shoes like white crisp tennis shoes, a pair of little sandals if it's hot.
Anything but just make sure you look presentable. And that's a big one for looks,
do's. And I'm gonna say most of the time we have an expression don't judge a
book by its cover. But in this situation your boyfriend or girlfriend's
parents are definitely judging the book by its cover. So make your cover look
good. Yeah, you are being judged. Yeah, you want to look presentable. You want to
look clean. Clean cut is a phrase we use really often in the US which means
somebody who is their well-shaped, their hair. Don't look like me right now.
Yeah, don't have this crazy beard or like if you're a woman like you know do
your hair nicely. Don't have it like looking really disheveled. Show up clean,
fresh, showered looking, simple, easy makeup for women. And just keep it really
really simple. Don't over complicate it but just look nice. And then for other
do's, for cultural and social do's I would say they're gonna ask you questions
about yourself. So be prepared to answer questions like what your major in
college is, what you do for work, how long you've been working there, questions
about what your parents do, they might ask you oh you know what is your dad do,
what does your mom do? What are your ambitions? What are your ambitions?
It's kind of old fashioned to be like what are your intentions with my daughter?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, back in the day people did that but now I think you can be relaxed.
I know that if your brings someone to meet the parents is usually a serious
relationship in the US. And so you know don't be too intimidated, get to know them,
ask them questions about themselves too. What do they do for work?
And humor them. They're probably gonna tell embarrassing stories about your
significant other or show you embarrassing pictures. Just kind of chuckle along,
be a good sport. Don't get into politics, don't get into religion.
Yeah, no politics, no religion for sure. Never. Never.
If they try to bait you, like if you're from a different religion or other politics
and they try to bait you into a conversation which means they try to say
something to upset you, just ignore it and change the subject.
If they keep trying to do it, look at your S.O. like
get me out of that. Yeah, you don't have any reason to stay if you're being
disrespected. And I know that we, but also keep an open mind because a lot of times
people are going to be meeting you with the best intentions and they're not going to do anything
to be intentionally rude but because you're from two different cultures, they might accidentally
offend you. So just keep an open mind and if you found anything weird or offensive, just ask
your significant other about it later. Yeah. And go see, listen to our other
podcast about table manners because all those table manners apply.
You know, again, no slurping, no burping, you know, no chewing loudly with your mouth open.
No cursing. Don't swear. Watch your language. Okay.
It's okay to accept the drink because a lot of times they'll offer you a drink. It's okay to say
yes if they offer you to drink but don't get drunk. You know, it's like a on-drink affair.
Maybe a two drink. I would say one. Just stick to one drink. You know, you won't get drunk and
just stick to that. Yeah. And most likely you drove there. So, you know, you, you know, drinking and
driving is, you know, it might be a test like, you know, oh, is this person going to drink and drive
with my daughter in the car or my, you know, that could be another, another thing. So, you know,
there could be traps set for you. Don't fall into these traps, you know. Right. I think it's okay
to accept one drink, especially if it'll be a while before you drive. Yeah. Yeah. One, like you
said, it's a one drink affair. It's not a party. It's not a party. It's not a caker.
It's not a block. Don't compliment do compliment their home. Say, oh, you have such a nice home.
Bring a gift. If you know they drink, you can bring a bottle of wine or you can bring some flowers
for their mom. Those are two gifts that usually go over well or you can bring something from your
home country like traditional candy. Something like that. So, yeah, don't show up empty handed. That's
terrible. Bring a gift. Yes. That's a good point. Bring a gift. And, uh, I guess that's pretty
much. Do a firm handshake. This is a, if you're a man, this is a really big thing in U.S. culture.
Yeah. When father offers a hand for a handshake, it has, you have to do a firm handshake. Don't
give him a death grip like you're trying to rip his hand off, but don't give him this limp. We
can't shake. They want like a firm handshake. Yeah. We call that the dead fish where your hand is
like a dead fish. You know, no, you got to, you got to squeeze back. You got to give a firm handshake
back. That's, uh, that's important. Yeah. And if you don't drink, um, it's okay to say no,
like if you are a person who doesn't drink and they argue to drink, it's, it's okay to be like,
oh, no, thanks. I don't drink. That's fine. Um, and if you have any kind of restrictions of your
diet because of your religion or your culture or your allergies or whatever it may be, make sure to
let them know ahead of time if you're going to be eating there. So like tell your significant
others so they can inform their family. And then you won't have to worry. Yeah. Don't let the mom
prepare a huge meal of pulled pork and then you show up and go, oh, by the way, I'm vegan.
It's like that should have been told to her a long time before. So yeah, where I'm Muslim or
something and then they're like, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. And they're embarrassed.
You can watch that if you've ever seen Twilight, the movie you can watch the scene where she meets
Edwards family for the first time and then she eats before going because she knows they don't eat
because they're vampires and they're making this big Italian meal for her and then everyone gets angry.
So yeah, just avoid. That's a great example of how to meet the parents because she dresses nicely
and they're trying to be polite and everything. So just kind of go with that. Um,
um, no, not too much pda. Um, it's kind of inappropriate. So please, first I mean,
they'd be holding hands about that's about it. That's the most you do. Holding hands is even like
that's, that's, that's a good level to keep only at that, you know, that's the highest level. Yeah,
holding hands. That's the highest level. Um, yeah. And again, just, just take it as the opportunity
to get to know them. It's just a serious relationship. You'll probably be seeing a lot of their
family. So you want to get to know them and compliment flattery gets everyone places you want to
flatter the mother. That's the easiest route. Yeah. So this is this food is amazing. This is delicious.
Thank you so much. You know, have such a beautiful home. This food is amazing. You're so young.
Yeah. You don't want to, you don't want to, um, you don't want to pack it on too thick there or
whatever, but you don't want to be too obvious. Like if the lady looks 80s, then don't say, wow,
you look so young. But if she actually looks young, like if she's 15, she looks 35, she's
going to be over the moon to hear that. Yeah. Um, you know, um, so don't do the cheesy life where
the man walks in and goes, Oh, are you a sister? Please don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah, that one.
So cheesy. That's so cheesy. Um, and yeah, just, you know, compliment her on her home, her food,
thank them for their generosity at the end of the night. Yep. And try not to overstate your welcome.
Leave at a reasonable hour. That's usually not a problem. Usually, usually you want to get out
of there as soon as you can. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But, you know, so, um, yeah, I think those are the big
meeting the parents, do's and don'ts. Um, if it, how does meeting the parents go in your
cultures? I'm really curious to know because in the US, once it's a serious relationship,
that's when we progress to meeting the parents. I know in other cultures, you might meet them
right off the bat. The parents might actually meet each other. And then you'll meet your significant
other later. Um, you might not meet the parents at all until the wedding. It just depends on a culture.
So we're very interested to know. Leave us a comment down below at a to z english podcast.com.
Shoot us an email at a to z english podcast at gmail.com. And join the WeChat WhatsApp group so
you can talk to Jack and I directly. And see you guys next time. Bye bye. Bye bye.
