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To everyone who loves the taste of tradition, come enjoy a classic Wisconsin Fish Fry at Culver's.
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From Wisconsin with love, welcome to delicious.
Welcome to the A to Z English Podcast.
My name is Jack and I'm here with my co -host Sochal.
And today we have a Culture Corner episode for you.
And Sochal, this is from our students.
This question comes from our students.
And the question is, I want to know how Americans plan a wedding.
Do Americans have a dowry?
Is there a dowry system in the United States?
so should we start with like just how americans plan a wedding yeah and jack i would be interested to know about this because i bet you have like a lot of cultural input i don't there's things i know through like other people but i don't know there's things i've heard about american weddings but i like
u .s weddings but i'm not super like oh yeah yeah i i used to work uh i used to work in the wedding industry i was a wedding dj in college oh that's cool yeah yeah that's really interesting i didn't know that yeah i'm not super versed because a lot of stuff i know is through my mom who that's like more
weddings um so yeah anyway so well maybe we'll go backwards we'll start with the dowry because I think simply put, most American weddings, you do not have a dowry in marriages.
But I think what's interesting is in the U .S.
culture, usually the bride's parents pay for the wedding, correct?
Yeah, that's true. Traditionally, that's true.
The bride's parents pay for the wedding.
What do the groom's parents pay for?
I don't know, Jack.
I'm going to Google this while our listeners...
Maybe traditionally it was like the bride's parents pay and then the husband is expected to work and take care of the wife.
Like that's the arrangement?
Traditionally, the groom's parents pay for honeymoon, marriage license, rehearsal dinner, officiant fees, groomsmen gifts, flowers, boutonaires, engagement party, entertainment, groom and bride gift, wedding night accommodations, and wedding transportation, and groom and groomsmen attire.
okay okay so all those little little things that they pay for the probably add up to about the same as what the the bride is paying for maybe and it might be like how i guess traditionally the man was expected to like have a home ready for them to move into so i guess that's kind of what his family
is contributing towards i guess the home and it's usually furnished and everything yeah so maybe that's why the the bride's parents pay for the wedding right right and but i think i would say like that all that stuff we just talked about is pretty much out the window these days like there's so many
different versions of this where like couples will pay for their own weddings um the parents will just you know split the cost 50 50 whatever you know just the the bride and groom will give the parents a bill essentially and then the parents will pay for half and the other parents will pay for half
like there's just so there's like a million different ways that people finance weddings these days yeah there's many other iterations i would say of how it's done today i think for me i would just feel the most comfortable paying for my own wedding because then i'm not on anyone else's budget i get
to do what i want to do and also what i can afford and i don't have to feel bad about where i spend my money like i could say i want a really expensive dress but i don't care about the flowers or something but if someone else is is footing the bill i feel like they have a lot of control or a lot of say
does that make sense yes it makes a ton of sense like as long as you if you do it yourself then you get to make all the decisions and no one can tell you what to do so yeah that's like the dream for me yeah yeah i think that's i agree with that i think a lot of couples do that or they'll have really
small weddings they'll say let's do a small wedding but we get full control and i i agree with that to be honest because i think too many people too many couples are concerned with they want to have a great wedding but they forget about having a good marriage you know it's like have a great marriage
and an okay wedding you know right yeah jack what can we ask is it rude to ask what you and your wife did no no it's fine actually we we followed that strategy ourselves we didn't have a wedding we um what we did was we had like a kind of family get -together in korea where my family met her family and we
all went to a restaurant and then we my wife and i went down to the embassy and we basically bounced back between the embassy and the city hall for about eight hours getting documents signed going back to the embassy getting this signed so that we could officially be married and so yeah it wasn't a very
romantic day it was more stressful you know just going to translation services and things like that it's a lot easier now uh but this was 20 years ago and um but but you know we've had a great we've had a great marriage so you know it wasn't it wasn't a traditional way of doing it with like a wedding
and stuff like that but uh but i don't think uh she or i have i don't think either of us have any regrets about doing it that way yeah did you face any pressure from either of your parents like your parents or her parents no no not at all um maybe a little bit um i think the you know in korea there's
like um an opportunity to make some money you know you invite a lot of guests to the wedding and then everybody just gives like 50 bucks or whatever right um that we missed out on that which was pretty yeah sure thing hey you sold that car yet yeah sold it to carvana oh i thought you were selling to
that guy the guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency no interest over 36 months yeah no carvana gave me an offer in minutes picked it up and paid me on the spot it was so convenient just like that yeah no hassle none that is super convenient sell your car to carvana and swap hassle for convenience
pick up these may apply the game is on the line and i've only got a shot clock's worth of time to tell you about subway 6 .99 foot long deal that's right order now in the subway app and get any footlong on the menu for just 6 .99 fresh sliced deli meat fresh crispy veggies ah too much good stuff get it
now on the subway app any footlong for just 6 .99 use code 6 .99 fl now only here for a limited time redeemable at participating u .s restaurants subway app online orders only add -ons additional plus tax additional fees apply on delivery excludes footlong snacks limited time stupid you know So we left
a lot of money on the table, so to speak.
But at the end of the day, you would have had to spend quite a bit of money on the wedding.
So you might have just ended up recouping those costs, but not really profiting.
Exactly. There's no guarantee we would have, you know, made that much after.
And we don't know, you know, that many people.
So we don't know how many guests we would have had.
You know, some weddings that, you know, you get a thousand guests, right?
everybody's giving 50 or 100 bucks i mean you can make a lot of money um right but uh you know ours would have been smaller um so yeah and and as far as like a dowry system goes you know dowry is basically like the the bride's parents uh offer money to the to the husband's to the groom's parents is that not right
and that is right yeah and in this situation it's basically the bride no i've got it backwards i'm sorry it's the groom's parents that have to give the money to the bride's parents right um i think i've got it backwards yeah dowry is a dowry is the husband gives money to the no it says property money
brought by a bride to her husband on their marriage so it is from the bride and her family to the husband oh okay that's what a dowry is okay okay i thought it was the other way around i guess i'm i was confused um okay so it's the it's the bride's family offering money to the the groom's family uh
-huh it says dowry contrast with the related concepts of bride price and dower which i suppose are when the groom gives money to her parents so in these situations the man and this is i mean i don't know i don't really know about bringing mexican culture into this but this is kind of different in mexican culture
the man's family pays for i i'm not really sure who pays for what i believe the man's family pays for more but they also pay a bride price traditionally it's not really done anymore these days um i think now most young couples pay their own weddings even my parents paid their wedding i believe yeah
and my dad paid for most of it but my mom also paid towards the wedding but um i was just saying uh the men there traditionally would give like cattle money um you know farm animals are really usually like x heads of cattle x chickens x turkeys whatever to the bride's family so you're you are giving
a substantial amount of money for your wife basically in exchange for your wife kind of and the u .s is a little different because even in more modern day culture the brides the brides parents are the ones who pay for the wedding traditionally so it's weird right in some countries it's like the the you
know it's like you're lucky to be marrying my my son and in other countries it's like you're lucky to be marrying my daughter it kind of bounces back between the two i mean i would say in modern in you know in modern american culture there's no dowry system you know there's no there's no more but back
in the olden days like what social was talking about it'd be like yeah sure um you know the part of the negotiation would be you marry my daughter i give you 25 head of cattle you know um and uh 60 acres of land you know whatever like you know and right and and it was a it was a negotiation because because back
in those days in american culture like or you know um 1800s or whatever women were considered property of men um right and so you know we just we don't think in those terms anymore we you know it's funny though because it's like even though we're considered property of men our families are paying for a man to
take us right it's so That's kind of so that's stupid.
But also the other thing I will argue is that I think it's still pretty common in the U .S.
for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding.
And I think that that constitutes a dowry to me.
It's almost like a dowry because why aren't the groom's parents really paying?
It's customary for the bride's parents to pay.
So I think that that's like a remnant of dowry culture, in my opinion.
I would agree with that.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
It's just, it's an antiquated idea, an old idea that persists, but, you know, it'd be much fair to just split everything down the middle, you know.
right or you know i think going going one step further and just having the couple pay for the weddings themselves get the parents out of it and you can invite them or not invite them but yeah you know um yeah i i think that that's a better system um okay i think we got i think we captured this one yeah
all right listeners if you are um if that answered your questions please let us know and shoot us an email and let us know if there's similar thing like a diary or bride price in your culture shoot us an email at a to z english podcast .com leave a comment down below on our website at a to z english
podcast .com and we will see you guys next time and also join our wechat or whatsapp groups bye Thank you.
Someone had a birthday.
Yep, 50. Can't believe it.
50 years of wisdom.
Great segue. We have health news, a CDC update.
Pneumococcal vaccination is now recommended for adults 50 or older.
Says here. We're over six times more likely to be hospitalized with pneumococcal pneumonia than adults under 50.
I don't love those odds.
Same. Look what I found.
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Continued approval may depend on a supportive study.
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Good idea, and happy 50th.
