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Subject to change. Hey, everyone.
It's Jay Shetty, and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour.
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Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests.
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I think a lot of people let their weight control their lives.
I didn't think that I was capable of changing.
And now I know I'm capable of that.
Like, bitch, I can do anything.
Like, I really can.
She is a multi -talented entertainment personality.
I hope everybody's having a Gargi Vargi Monday.
The one, the only, Claudia Oshry.
What do you feel is the biggest misconception about you?
I felt so misunderstood by people.
I remember getting married and being like so angry that my dad wasn't going to be there when I was struggling with my self -image.
I feel like I'm going to cry now.
Sorry. The number one health and wellness podcast.
Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.
The one, the only Jay Shetty.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you choose to become happier, healthier and more healed.
Today I'm excited because I'm actually speaking to someone who is my team's number one pick.
my team will only want to show up for michael b jordan lewis hamilton and claudia oshery i'm not kidding women into male -dominated fields i'm not kidding um my team are the biggest fans of today's guest i was lucky enough and grateful enough to go on her show the toast the hit show award -winning incredibly
huge huge huge podcast called the toast last year it is genuinely the thing whenever i get stopped people like i heard you on the toast i loved it i loved it i loved it So I am so excited I get to return the favor today with Claudia Oshry.
Claudia, thanks for being here.
Oh my God, best intro ever.
Do it again. I'd be happy to.
I'd be happy to. It was genuine.
It was honest. I love you, by the way.
Like, when we met, I'm not going to lie.
I was like a little, I'm like, who's this guy?
Because I wasn't super familiar.
I read your book, and I was like, okay, let's see what it's about.
I feel like sometimes when someone becomes really known with a lot of celebrity friends, it can be like a little smoke and mirrors.
And I was like, honestly, I'm suspicious.
This guy's coming in.
and you were so kind the second you walked in it was very disarming I was like oh never mind I take back like I love him and we had such a great conversation and I actually loved so many things about your book because your book was like really heavy on relationships and I just loved it and ever since
then I've just like loved you oh yeah that genuinely means the world to me and you made me feel so comfortable that day because I was like guys like you guys I was talking to my team and I was like you guys listen to her and I was like I'm not cool I'm not funny I was like how am I gonna fit in like
how's this gonna work and they were like no no no she's gonna be wonderful and you were and you are and I'm so grateful that I now get to do this back so let's dive straight in because you just said something to me I wasn't going to start here but you just said something to me and I wanted to ask you
like what do you feel is the biggest misconception about you oh wow that's a good question I don't know if I would say there's one misconception I would say like though largely and there was a period a few years ago because I remember writing about this in my book where I felt so misunderstood by people
and I feel like unless you were watching my podcast every day and listening to everything else thing that I said you didn't really get me because I feel like I come off as like a lot of different things like a little crazy a little outlandish but I feel like the person that I really am is like a sister
a wife I feel like kind of gets lost in the mix sometimes I like to think I'm like and I'm always like joking about how funny and sweet and kind and beautiful I am but I really do believe that about myself and I feel like just because I always lead with like humor and a little bit of like outrageousness
I do feel like that softer very what I think is genuine um gets a little bit lost that's so interesting I mean I can relate in so many ways I feel so misunderstood so often and it's because we have a view of what a spiritual person or a teacher or a guide looks like and I think I'm just trying to be
people's friend right I'm trying to be the person who's just reminding you something yes I feel like your job title definitely like you lead with that and people have conceptions about that before and I feel the same way like coming from a comedy space especially when you make jokes that like sometimes
are a little, you know, people are like, oh, she's crazy.
She's radical. And it's just like, I'm actually just a girl.
Like I'm just a girl and nothing makes me happier than making people laugh.
And like, sometimes I take it a little far, but like, it's funny.
It's funny. What's the big deal?
Yeah. And that's why for me as well, it's like, I want to help people.
I want to make people feel better.
I want to introduce people to great ideas and insights.
It's not, it doesn't have to be heavy.
It doesn't have to be like everything.
I also love soccer and love fashion and love, you know, just I'm a normal human being.
And it's like, I love that balance.
And I think that's how I see myself as someone who has these very nuanced interests and hobbies and everything else.
But I think naturally we're kind of forced to be in a box.
Yeah, you can be both.
100%. I still believe that I feel like I'm so hard and I'm so soft.
Yeah, I love that. Yeah.
At the same time. At the same time.
I feel like I'm always leading obviously because what I do is like just try to make people laugh which I love so I'm always leading with that and I do feel like my sort of so we sensitive side and I'm very sensitive um I feel like I don't show that a lot and I don't want to show it that much because I
feel like on the internet so toxic if you open up about a vulnerability or something people throw it back in your face and they use it against you so I'm also really protective of my own peace wow when did you learn that you had to do that um I feel like when I first started opening up I feel like the first
thing I really opened up about, because I share everything on the internet and it's not hard.
I don't feel like I'm digging deep to share.
I'm a natural, like if I meet you for first time, I'll tell you my life story.
That's just how I am.
So I've never felt like I was sharing something that I wasn't comfortable sharing until I shared my journey with Ozempic, which was so personal to me.
And, you know, I got a lot of support for it, but there were also people, you know, you're stealing drugs from diabetics, like literally, no, I'm not.
And there was like a lot of, there's a lot of discourse around that.
Do people who struggle with their weight need medication?
Are they stealing medication from diabetes patients?
So, um, I felt like scared to share that one cause I think the emotion I felt most was like, I was really embarrassed that when I'd gotten myself to a place where I required a medication and two, I did feel a little pushed to share just because it was so obvious to people that I was on it and that,
you know, everybody, nobody would let me live.
They wouldn't let me sleep for five minutes.
They're like, she's on something, she's on something, she's on something.
And when I did share.
I'm ultimately so glad that I did, but I didn't feel at first like it was my choice necessarily.
That always feels harder.
Yeah. Yeah. When you feel like you had to share something because there was already so much speculation.
Yeah. And now when I look back, I wish I shared sooner.
It's like the greatest journey I went on.
I have so many positive things to say about it.
I think when I tell people it makes them feel like a little less embarrassed about their journey because look at me, I'm so fabulous.
And even I did it. And I wish I did it sooner.
And I loved every minute of the journey.
But at the time, I was so embarrassed.
Like that was just the emotion I remember feeling was like pure shame.
That's, I mean, and that sounds like such a hard place to be.
We actually interviewed, I interviewed Yohan Hari, a good friend of mine who wrote the book, The Magic Pill.
He's on Ozempic and he's gone and done all the research from the biggest experts in the space and the naysayers in the space.
And so for anyone who's looking for a very reset guy to his MP, he was brilliant and he talked about it from so many different perspectives.
But going back to what you said, one of the first things that I think is so hard for people is how society has made people feel shameful about their body in general.
I mean, you've talked before about, I saw that, I actually couldn't believe this existed, but you've talked about going to fat camp.
Oh, yeah. Like I'd never heard of that.
Best summers of my life.
I've never heard of that living in - It's so American.
Growing up in London.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. like first of all explain to me how you can get away with calling something fat camp and what is fat camp well actually at the time i believe they were going by weight loss camp not that it mattered like colloquially it's called a fat camp right um and yeah so i went to summer camp
my whole life and when i was like i feel like maybe i was in like the sixth grade i don't remember how old i was my older sister was really struggling with her when i never struggled with my weight as a kid and you know my parents tried a lot of different things and one of the things that they tried
was sending her to like a summer camp that was focused on physical fitness.
I think what people think of as a fat camp, like a fat farm where like the kids are up every day, pulling tires up hills.
It wasn't like that at all.
It was a very standard all American summer camp with fitness and diet, just sort of at the forefront of meals and activities.
And all my sisters went to support my older sister.
And we ended up having like the most amazing time we went back.
I never went back to the old camp that I had originally went to.
We went back every summer.
It was the greatest experience of my life.
Some of my best friends, I still talk to to this day from camp.
And so I know how it like sounds and looks to other people, but for me, it was just such a regular camp experience, but I also wasn't on the program.
So for any of the summers that I spent at a weight loss camp, I was actually never struggling with my weight.
So I'd wear this special bracelet that just let everyone at the facility know, like I'm not on the program.
And then it turns out, you know, the second I left camp, I actually started to, you know, struggle with my weight and I really could have used a weight loss camp.
Wow. I mean, so what was that like then in the beginning years?
because I think what's interesting as we talk about Ozempic, to me so much of it is about how we're conditioned since we're young.
So I grew up overweight.
Oh, did you? Yeah. I was overweight until I was about like 15, 16 years old maybe.
I can't picture it.
And yeah, I'll show you pictures.
I would love to see.
Yeah, I will. My wife has plenty of embarrassing pictures of me.
And she was as well.
Oh, really? Yeah, she was as well.
Let me tell you, people who have never struggled with their weight are not people, not that there's anything wrong with them, But like, they're not people I can relate to.
I feel like struggling with your weight makes you such a real bitch.
Like, can I curse on here?
Like, I feel people who have struggled with their weight, they know real struggle.
They know being uncomfortable.
Like, I just feel I, when I meet someone and they've struggled with their weight, like, I automatically know they're like, they're my type of person.
Do you know what I mean?
That's why I'm sharing my...
It creates such resilience.
Like, you're seriously, especially as a kid.
Oh, my God. Yeah, it's huge.
I mean, like, I remember the bullying, the name calling, the awkward thing of trying to pull myself out of a swimming pool and not being able to like you know moments like that where you're just like oh gosh this is the worst thing that could have ever happened and then being forced to wear speedos
at school yeah not in america right no never that's our version of fat camp yeah you have to wear speedos that's terrible actually yeah and so when i look back at all of that i think about how much shame guilt is already set up just in our perception yeah of what it means to be overweight Yeah.
And now you're talking about feeling shame of going on a Zempik, which you're taking to do the opposite.
Well, it's like you can't win.
I used to get like so much, you know, backlash and messages like that.
I'm setting a bad example that I live an unhealthy lifestyle.
So then I take control of it.
And like, I start changing my life.
And now I'm, you know, running diabetics over with a bus.
Like, you really can't win.
So you just have to do what makes you happy.
And going on that journey made me really happy.
It was like the first time in my life where I ever felt in control of my weight.
Since I'm like, I started gaining weight in college.
Since I'm 18, it was the craziest feeling.
It was so foreign to me.
And I think a lot of, especially girls who struggle with their weight may be able to relate to this.
I was always a confident person even when I was struggling with my weight and I was always really happy in my own body.
That was something I really worked on.
I think a lot of people let their weight control their lives, whether it comes to work or personal relationships.
For me, I was never going to let it stand in my way.
But that didn't mean that I didn't like that.
I liked it. Like I loved myself and I loved my life, but deep inside, I always wanted to be skinny.
So when you're an overweight girl, like you wake up every day and you think about like, you look, you pass a mirror, you pass a window.
You're thinking probably a hundred times a day about like the inevitable day when maybe one day you will be skinny.
So Ozempic gave me that.
Like, and to achieve a lifelong dream that you never think, and I know it sounds so dramatic, but to achieve a lifelong dream that you never think is going to come to fruition is the craziest feeling.
And that's why I really felt so compelled to share my journey.
Because at the time when I shared, it was 2023, I think maybe around the end of the year.
No, it was like the summer.
There was so much negative stuff out there about Ozempic, like the Daily Mail.
Every time somebody ended up in the ER with a headache, it was Ozempic's fault.
And I just felt like everybody was being made fun of for being on Ozempic.
And no one was really talking about how life changing it is.
And especially as like a girl who always wanted to be a mom.
I was, I was like, I can't ever get pregnant at this weight.
I have to lose the weight before I can gain the weight.
So it just gave me opportunities.
It gave me a whole new life.
And I felt so compelled to share because it bothered me how negative everything was about this journey.
Like we were all supposed to feel shame.
Like the amount of negative media representation, negative mentions of Ozempic, like was supposed to, I think, shame people into not doing it.
And I was like, I don't feel like, and I think that's why Oprah did her special too.
her special was really powerful, because she's somebody who's benefited enormously from it.
And you don't hear those stories enough.
And it makes me so sad.
So ultimately, it was the best decision I ever made going on it and also sharing the journey.
But at the time, I just wish people had given me like a little bit more space to process it.
You know, did you ever worry about the side effects and and what you because I'm guessing you're thinking about those things as well?
Yeah, of course. So when I when it was first brought up to me by my plastic surgeon, I was like super intrigued.
Then I spoke to like my primary care physician about it and both of them were really like down and excited and they wanted me to do it.
So I felt really good like knowing that my doctors supported it.
And that's why like I didn't share from day one because one, what if it didn't go well?
Two, it doesn't work for some people.
So I make this whole big thing.
I'm going on and then I don't even lose the weight.
Like there were so many factors at play.
So I couldn't share from day one.
And then when I started to drop significant weight, I was just then feeling embarrassed.
That's why I didn't share.
I was like wow My life got to a place where it was where i'm so out of control I need medication to get me to stop eating like And that's what I loved about oprah special was she really dived into like the illness the disease of obesity and how it's like Telling someone to stop eating is like telling
a depressed person to just be happy like it's really not in our chemical compound so I felt like the whole journey.
I was learning about myself.
I was learning about the disease I was learning about the medication and yeah, of course, I was worried about side effects but after a couple of weeks when I had minimal nausea and it went away pretty fast, I felt like this was the right drug for me.
Yeah. And then what was it that decided to get you off it?
Oh, well, I had lost the weight and I feel like I was on it for a year and the first six months, I just kind of let the drug like do its thing.
I didn't change my life at all.
I was like still eating like crap, but that's how the drug works.
You eat like crap, but you eat half.
So I was losing weight and then halfway through, I was like, okay, now that I've kind of gotten my life a little bit under control.
Let me actually try and change my life.
So I joined the gym.
I got a trainer. I started working out.
I started eating way healthier.
So I did the journey like in two parts.
One where I just kind of let the medication run me and then where I use the medication as like a tool to change my life.
And I really wanted to see if I could do it without.
And I also knew that I had wanted to get pregnant sometime soon and you have to be off the medication for a minimum of two months so I got off of it in December of 2023 I knew in the next year I'd wanted to get pregnant and I kind of wanted to put as much time between being off the drug and starting
my journey and I wanted to see like if I could keep up with my working out and my eating well regimen without the drug and I was able to and that's like one of the things I'm most proud of because like and I never would have been able to get there if it weren't for the the tool of Ozempic and all those
GLP -1 medications. Wow and how did you how has it changed you because you like you said you're already confident.
You already liked yourself.
You knew who you were.
What's changed? I mean, I'm insufferable now.
Like, no, I think that so much of my confidence was like, I really had to work at it.
Do you know what I mean?
It was, I don't want to say fake, but I just remember one day waking up and like deciding to be confident and slowly by slowly, brick by brick, I built up a sense of confidence that really it was real, but I do think it was built on a foundation of like kind of lies.
And now that I like really changed my life, I felt so confident, but I also felt so confident that I was capable of change.
I think for many years, I'm such a stubborn person.
I didn't think that I was capable of changing anything, let alone this huge thing for me, which has always been my weight, which has kind of been like my Roman empire.
So I think the fact that I successfully changed something in my life, something bad and turned it into good like that and now I know I'm capable of that like bitch I can do anything like I really can I love that attitude but but how did you build that energy before like I don't want to take away from the fact
that even though you say you were faking it obviously it was working in that you were still doing well it seems like you were comfortable in your own skin like what would you say to someone who maybe doesn't have doesn't want to go on a Zen pic right because they're scared or whatever it may be but like
what would you say with them so I feel like people don't like my answer because when I was like struggling with my self -image I feel like I'm gonna cry now sorry um so much of my confidence I would say like all of it came from the fact that I had a husband or a boyfriend at the time fiance who loved
me so much and he thought I was like the greatest thing and so if he thought it and look at him like I just I love him so much and so he thinks I'm so great like that's nothing you should get your confidence from a man whatever but like i did just to be loved so um unequivocally by somebody who i think
is so great um that gave me a lot of confidence like he thought i was the best he thought i was the smartest he thought i was the prettiest so like i was because his opinion is only one that matters but also like i look at him and i think of him as like so charming attractive like who wouldn't want
to marry him and he likes me?
Like, oh my God, I must be like the greatest thing ever.
And I really feel like so much of my confidence.
And it's so funny because he says that he gets confidence from me, which I feel like really happy that it's a two -way street.
But having a relationship that I felt really solid about, but also somebody who just loved me so much, really, it just made me believe like what he was saying.
Do you know what I mean?
What's interesting to me is just so much of how, whether it's body shaming we do to ourselves, or that society does to us, how so much of it is built up around aesthetics and visuals, and how health and vitality are actually not based on simply visuals.
No, but I will say visually, at the time, like if you were to just compare me visually now and me visually then, like, I was very unhealthy.
Like I had a lot of random medical issues that like a 25 year old girl shouldn't be having.
So I agree with you that like, a lot of times we judge people's health based on their weight.
And that's not the case for everyone.
But to be clear, like it was the case for me.
Like I was not healthy.
I did not walk to work.
Like I was really like living a very inactive, unhealthy lifestyle.
That's not the case for everyone you see who's overweight, but that was 1000 % the case for me.
Yeah. And now what's the new schedule?
Oh, bitch. Well, now I'm pregnant.
So like it's kind of reverted back, but so not pregnancy wise, I just really like lead my day with little pockets of activity.
I think that like me going to meetings, going to work.
Like I'm always being like, okay, I'll walk.
Um, I worked out like before I got pregnant, I worked out like, you know, three to five times a week.
Um, I would spend my weekends, like doing things that I enjoy whilst being active, like going for walks in the park with Ben, just like making sure that I wasn't rotting in bed as much as I can.
I'm capable of because I'm capable of a great deal of rotting.
Um, and then with meals, that's really where I probably struggled the most, but just, just trying to be a little bit more well -rounded.
I feel like I eat like a six -year -old.
And so I do like I eat rice and chicken fingers.
And so just changing sometimes to like brown rice and grilled chicken, you know, thinking a little bit more, but it's hard because I'm such a picky eater that, you know, I'm not going to be making bronzino on the weekends with like a tapenade, you know, that's never going to happen.
I don't even know what tapenade is.
And then, I mean, as I'm hearing you speak, I'm just like, is there a, A lot of people talk about this right now, like this idea of when you become pregnant, is there like a loss of the life you had?
Oh my God, 100%. Like, is there a feeling of like, wait a minute, just a few moments ago, a few months ago, I was...
I would say I don't feel...
I really, I mean, I've been married for 100 years and we decided to wait to have kids.
And I think that because we made that choice, I am now not spending my pregnancy and, you know, hopefully the next year or two, mourning a life.
I feel like I lived life to the fullest, and I really, really waited till I was ready.
So the only thing I feel like I'm mourning is my body.
Like that, nobody talks enough about like what it's like to lose significant weight and then get pregnant.
I don't know how I feel about it.
I don't have like fully fleshed that out.
I'm like struggling every single day.
But no, I don't, I don't feel sad about like a life left behind.
I feel like I lived every minute of my twenties, like on the edge of cliffs, going on trips, partying, like doing everything I wanted to do.
And when I turned 30 over the summer, I was like, you know what?
I'm done. Like, I really feel, and that's what I'm so happy about because yeah, I like see my friends with kids and I'm like, oh, I do wish I had like, you know, joined them, but I feel so fulfilled in that one chapter of my life that I'm really ready to start the next chapter.
And what was the reason for putting kids off in the beginning?
what was the intention?
I would say it was mostly career.
I've been working since I'm 18 and I just could not fathom taking time off.
And I don't know, it just, it really scared me.
It doesn't scare me so much anymore, but also the weight thing played, I could not fathom at my previous weight getting pregnant.
I think it would be a high -risk pregnancy one and two.
Like, I think it would take me to a new weight, a new category that I might not be able to come back from.
So I always knew I had to figure it out before And Ozemba came to me at like the perfect time Yeah, I think the first thing you mentioned I relate to that So obviously me and my wife don't have kids yet And we'd love to one day But I think a big thing for me also was I was very clear on who I was when we
met And things were kind of going in the right direction for me And then my wife I was like really patient And I really wanted her to find her purpose Before we had kids Because I wanted her to know who she was And know her identity and have clarity on her worth and her value and everything before we
have a child because I just felt I was like I want her to also live a life and what that looks like and you know the past couple of years she's just like blossom and grown it's been so fun to watch and it's like now I'm like yeah now now you know from when we're lucky to have children it's more you
can conceive it right totally yeah and and that you're coming at it from a point of like I know who I am without anything.
Yes. And I think that was so important to me for her.
I already had it myself, but it's different as a woman.
And also the career thing, right?
Like, as a woman, it's not like you give birth and then you go back to work.
It's like a two -year thing from conception to the, like, till you really start to feel like yourself again, especially when your job is, like, being public and people have so much to say about your body.
Like, I don't necessarily didn't want to put myself through that.
Like, I really wasn't ready for it.
So I cannot recommend enough waiting till you're really ready.
And I know that that's a privilege, but like I am so pleased with how it's worked out so far.
And I'm really, really glad that I waited because I, I remember I always used to say like, I wanted to have kids when I was 25 and I remember sitting on my friend's couch and I was like drunk.
And he was like, by the way, like, when do you want to have kids?
I'm like, when I'm 25.
And he was like, how old are you?
I'm like 25. So maybe, maybe when I'm 26.
And I don't know. I, I always, I've always, always known I love kids.
Like my niece and my nephews or my whole life, like I've always known that I wanted to be a mom.
And then I started to get a little worried because I didn't feel it.
I'm like, oh crap. Like I was so annoyed at the biological clock and I was so annoyed at COVID.
It like took two years for me that like, maybe if COVID hadn't happened, I would have been living my life those two years and been ready when I was 28.
But I was like, crap, no.
And I got a little worried that I was never going to be ready.
Because I know it's something that I want.
And that's why I feel so grateful that I very naturally came to, to the conclusion that I'm ready and my husband was amazing about like if I had said to him five years ago let's have a kid he'd say okay if I said to him this like he was really let me lead which I still appreciate he never put pressure
on me to like either wait longer or hurry up same with our families like nobody really tortured us about it and I know a lot of girls get like endless harassment from their parents and their in -laws like I didn't get that and I'm so grateful because I really came to the conclusion on my own so no I
don't I don't like look around and I don't look at social media and see people like you know on trips and flying out of planes and think oh I wish that was me.
I'm like, you know what?
I did my time. Honestly, that video makes me tired.
I want to go take a nap.
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for everyone walk me through that internal dialogue of like how do you get to that place of feeling ready i think so many of us are waiting to feel ready in life whether it's waiting to feel ready to start a podcast whether it's waiting to write your book whether it's waiting to have a kid whether it's
waiting to get married and you're we're just waiting yeah but we never feel ready for most of us i know walk me through what you feel being ready means i feel like jealousy is a really powerful emotion and i started to feel like i might be ready to start a family when like i would hear about other girls
that i knew friends people telling me and up until that point when people would tell me I would be so happy for them.
Like I would cry like really genuine.
And I remember the first time it was like December of 2023, one of Ben's friends who his fiance, excuse me, wife is one of my good friends.
They told us that they were pregnant and I was so happy for it, but like I was a little jealous.
And then I was like, oh, that's interesting.
And that's why I feel like it's so important to like listen to yourself and be able to identify emotions because I was like, okay, let's jot that down.
I told Ben, I'm like, by the way, I'm a little jealous of Natalie.
He was like, oh, that's great.
And that was in December, that was actually when I decided to get off Ozempic and I was like, okay, good to know.
And then I just started like listening to my feelings.
And when other people would tell me, I'd be like, damn, now I'm starting to feel a little left behind.
And so really it was my own emotions that told me I was ready.
And I've always been very good at like identifying my own emotions and like thinking, how does this make me feel?
Am I pissed? Am I happy?
And that's really, I would say how I knew, but it was a struggle.
It feels like you're someone that always knows you ready though because you got married at 23?
Yes, I got married very young.
I got engaged. Me and Ben met when I was 18.
We got engaged when I was 21.
So we did it all throughout college and then 23.
Yeah. When I got married.
How did you know Ben was the one and you were ready to get married then?
It just wasn't even a question.
Honestly, I would have gotten married sooner.
Like I know it sounds so crazy and it is, but we met when I was 18.
So I was a freshman in college.
And then when I was a senior, I wasn't allowed to get engaged in college.
It was like, girl, get a degree and then we could talk.
So I graduated in May and then Ben and I got engaged in June.
and it was, I know it sounds, it was four years.
I was like, bitch, I'm ready.
Like, let's go. Like, I knew, like, from day one that Ben was love of my life.
It took him, I want to say, like, three months to know that I was the love of his life, but it's okay.
Some people, you know, we're all on our different journeys.
We all have our own promises.
I'm you and my wife's Ben.
Yeah, no, I try not to, like, hold resentment.
I'm like, oh, yeah, no, I remember that time you didn't think I was so cute.
Like, okay, you don't like me.
I don't know. I just knew, and it's so crazy because we met when I'm 18.
I'm 30 now. So there is a huge part of my life where Ben isn't a factor, but I don't even remember.
It's like before Ben and after Ben.
Like I don't remember.
It's weird if I tell him a story and he wasn't there.
I'm like, ew, where were you?
I actually feel like we're related and we might be, but like whatever.
It's the craziest thing.
I can't really explain how I knew, but I think when we first met, I was like so excited to have a boyfriend because I loved watching movies growing up.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm literally Cher from clueless I finally have a boyfriend and I was so obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend and like the fact that there was this person who wanted to spend time with me and I was so excited about it and then like I feel like our relationship we really
grew up together so the longer we were together and the more time we would spend it was like becoming abundantly clear like we really had the same values and we really are the same person and it's so funny because Ben is so funny but he's married to me so it's like good luck um and I would say if he
had married anyone else he would me the funniest guy in every room but people say to me people have known Ben for like three years like by the way Ben's funny I'm like no I know but he can't get a word in with me um he's just the best and I honestly I know it sounds so crazy to have gotten married so young
um and when we were getting married I grew up in a modern orthodox Jewish community so it really wasn't that crazy most of my friends have been married around the same age as me um but when I would meet like people you know regular uh secular folk um they would think it was so crazy and I remember like
being offended when people would say that I'm like you don't know me and Ben you don't know but let me tell you something the older I've gotten the more I learned like we were crazy yeah um we've changed so much you know and when people say like not to get married young like they're right for that they're
saying it for a reason I think that the way it worked out for me and Ben is really not how it works out for most people because I'm so different oh my god I used to be so annoying if you can imagine it like I was just such a different person and so was Ben you know I was like very insecure and i don't
know i just was weird and i and i grew up i think into a person that's amazing but i grew up to be somebody a little different and it's possible that i had grown that i would have grown into somebody that ben didn't like and it's possible that ben would have grown into he was 21 that he would have grown
into somebody that i wasn't particularly into but we really made a conscious choice to like grow up together so i understand why people said that and they were probably right for that but we're different sorry we just are we are no i i think that's a really fair point and i think even radhi was 25 when we
got married i was 28 and even that is somewhat it's still you know it's still younger and it's like it's it's the same for us like we were sure you know it worked out for us but i would say i knew myself very well radhi knew herself enough at the time she's definitely grown i've kind of stayed the same
yeah and so there is a sense of like sometimes you get lucky and you're fortunate and you're blessed and it's beautiful and sometimes it can be really hard.
Of course. And crazy.
And I, and I think what I'm hearing from you is just like, it's not an issue if whether you're the rule or the exception or whichever one you think you are, the point is just be thoughtful about it.
Like be, because you don't want to, you don't want to rush into something too young.
Yeah. I also think Ben's a really patient person and I definitely did not know who I was literally until I would say a year or two ago.
And I think I led with that like sort of insecurity and he was very patient with me and he was still like dealing and growing with his own thing but i don't know if in those early years if i was like the best version of myself and i think that he really saw in me who like my potential and was very measured
and really patient so it takes two people to tango and he definitely is like the kinder patient one in the relationship and i'm a little bit more like rough around the edges if you can imagine and he i i would attribute a lot of our marital success to to him I love how much you love Ben.
He's the best. Yeah, it's amazing.
I can't wait to meet him.
Oh my God, you've never met him.
He's downstairs, obviously, on a call.
Like, let me tell you, my husband is always on a call.
I don't know who the hell he's talking to.
Literally this morning, he doesn't answer the phone for 40 minutes.
I'm like, where are you?
He's like, I'm walking the dog.
I'm on a call. Who the hell are you talking to?
I can't. No, it's lovely to see how much you love him.
Like, it's really beautiful.
Thank you. I will say, like, one other reason why you shouldn't get married young is I have oddly made so many lifelong friends much later in life and these people weren't even at my wedding it's the weirdest thing like and some of these bitches at my wedding like girl I don't know you get out of here
and they're like in my pictures and shit also I wish I had waited because like if I had been on Ozempic at my wedding photos I would have been a lot happier with the end results of the pictures but that's my fault that's my fault no I can so relate to that I'm at that I'm at that stage where I've got
a friend a lot of friends who are older than me and they all are renewing their vows right now right and they literally were like Jay you weren't at my wedding but I love that you're here how weird because friends change so much from when you get married so much and i feel like there's a point in your
life where like you you have made all of your friends and 21 was not that for me at all yeah because you haven't you haven't worked enough you know like and so many of my like best lifelong friends are people i've met through work how's that how does that work i like my some of my best friends like brian and taylor like
i met they were guests on our show you meet a lot of people and like you know the reputation of podcasters, content creators, influencers like is what it is for recent.
Like some of them are insufferable, but some of them are just like the most fabulous people you'll ever meet in your entire life.
And that's my friends, Brian and Taylor.
And they were not at my wedding.
And sometimes I'll think about that and I'll be like, I shouldn't have waited.
Yeah. I should have listened to everybody.
Well, you can renew your vows.
I know, but you know, they do say that's a curse.
I don't know if that's just for the Real Housewives, but every Real Housewife who has ever renewed her vows ended up divorced.
Really? Mm -hmm. Just a fun fact.
That's a fact? Yeah.
Wow. I don't know if it's a fact, but it's a fun fact.
I don't plan on renewing my vows.
Also, I feel like vow renewal is like an inherently non -Jewish thing.
Like Jewish people don't renew their vows.
I don't know a single Jewish person that's renewed her vows.
Oh, interesting. Yeah.
I don't know if it's like in the Bible or anything.
I just feel like it's not culturally Jewish.
Interesting. Got it.
Okay. Understood. Understood.
Yeah. I guess, yeah, I'm always trying to convince Radhi that I want to do it.
And she's like, yeah, of course you want another wedding because you didn't plan the last one.
Oh, I'm so with her on that.
although the only reason I would do it would be like to get new pictures because I was like so ugly at my wedding it's kind of like one of my biggest regrets I think Riley would do it for new pictures because she wants even though she looked absolutely gorgeous she's still she's evolved yeah yeah she
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How do you decide what parts of your life to share publicly and what parts to keep private?
I generally just lead with what I'm comfortable with.
Like if I wouldn't be ashamed to tell the person next to me on the train, and I don't really feel shame about a lot of things.
I feel like maybe that's something I could and should work on but no, I would say the Ozempic thing is like the one thing I really had to push myself to share but for the most part I share what's comfortable and I'm just, I'm an open person.
I think that some people find that inconceivable but I just am.
So it's easy for you but you were saying earlier that there's times when you're like oh this could be judged, you know like this could be misconstrued and so and I think that's a really valid point.
I appreciate you being so honest about it.
That's why I'm raising it because I think at one point we were in this phase where we're like, vulnerability means you share everything with everyone.
And I don't subscribe to that definition of vulnerability.
I think vulnerability is actually, I know why I'm sharing it with this person and I feel safe to share it there.
And so I think that societies had to evolve.
And then you also see performative vulnerability where people are like literally telling a vulnerable story only because - Because you think you get rewarded for it.
Totally, exactly. Which then ruins the purpose of vulnerability because then it's not vulnerable.
So it's like this messy space where I'm trying to, I'm constantly reflecting on like what's truly vulnerable, how comfortable do I feel about it, what does that mean?
Yeah, I guess then like I wouldn't categorize myself as a particularly vulnerable person because when I share things, even things that are deeply personal, I don't feel like it's a big deal.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm just an, that's just how I am.
So I would feel weirder not telling people things.
like even when i was trying to conceive with ben i do a podcast every day and i'm always talking about what's going on in my life and my marriage and and it was this huge part that i wasn't sharing and it felt so deceitful it was so foreign to me because i'm so used to saying yeah last night i did x
y and z and my color and my underwear is purple like i'm such a sharer that actually not sharing is what makes me uncomfortable yeah and why did you not share that what was that you know what it's it's like a jewish superstition thing like yeah same in our culture yeah it felt um private yeah you know
yeah yeah no no i i think indian culture and jewish culture are very similar has a lot in common and yeah there's definitely there are definitely certain things that you don't share and you don't open up too much about you wait till they're real and yeah taken care of yeah exactly yeah no no i respect
that and i get that i think it's i i think it's healthy for people to you know find i i just i just want to encourage people to think about you know whether they're a public figure or not who you share what with is so important and just don't don't fall into the trap of oh everyone's being vulnerable
that's what it means to you know yeah well i think that's like a byproduct of the internet is like nobody really keeps anything to themselves anymore and i think what started out as like a genuinely like good initiative to like open up about things is now like we're all sharing we all know a little
too much about each other you know that's how i feel let's pull back yeah sometimes i watch something And they're like, we shouldn't tell us that.
Like, I don't think there was a need for that.
Even myself, like today on the podcast, I was like, I gotta go, I gotta poop.
And it's like, why would I say that?
And just say it again.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also one thing's really interesting to me.
I had a friend, I was at a friend's birthday last month and he said to me, he was like, Jay, like, I know it's like you never post what we're doing personally and privately.
And I said to him, I said, it's because I'm really lucky.
I think my public life's amazing, but my private life's better than my public life.
and I imagine a world in which I'm sitting in an old rocking chair talking to my grandkids and talking to family and sharing these stories that no one knows anything about.
And there's something about that feels really sacred and special to me.
And I really want that because I remember years ago sitting with someone and I'm not even family or close with him, but I remember sitting on a beach with him and he was an older man.
I was in my late 20s.
He was probably in his late 60s and he just had so many life stories to share and he wasn't famous he wasn't well known and he just had all these cool stories that I was like no one's gonna know these yeah but he gets to live them every day and there was something about that I was like I want to have memories
that are only mine yeah like that was important to me I think that um that's something I learn as I get older but it also makes it complicated when sharing is your life yeah um and I feel like there used to be a time when I would literally be sharing a piece of content every 30 minutes I would have a cocktail
and post, which is like so dangerous and stupid.
Um, but now Oh my God, I used to be like blackout in a drive through at Whataburger in Texas, like blackout ordering, like a crispy chicken biscuit, like whatever, like, and it was just, I looked so scary and I had ketchup all over my face.
Like, and I think that's why people, you know, that's why I have a lot of the following that I do.
They loved that life, but that's not my life anymore.
And it occurred to me like several years ago that I didn't have to share every thought that I have one it was getting me in trouble and two like yeah some things can just be like thoughts or memories or things that you keep to yourself and so I do feel like my strategy has shifted but it's tough when that's
also how you make a living yeah you know yeah yeah yeah that's yeah so how do you balance that I'm working on it yeah it's hard it is hard I think that I've gotten much better and I look at it a lot like this is my job we're putting out content like for the job but it doesn't have to be like the most
authentic 100 % 360 degree view of my life.
Like I can have things for myself.
That's it's good to know you're working on it.
That's the point, right?
It's like none of us have figured it out.
No, if I went back and watched like an Instagram story from 2019, I would die.
I would die. I was out of control.
Like I just used to say so many things like stop talking.
Okay, stop. Like not everything needs to be shared.
One thing I want to dive into with you.
We've talked about Ozempic.
We've talked about pregnancy.
We've talked about marriage and And of course, we can keep talking about those.
But I think what often happens with someone like yourself, and I'm projecting because I feel this happens to me sometimes.
But I'm projecting this idea that people don't see the hard work from a business perspective, the strategy perspective, the sleepless nights, the growth.
Like you've built something incredible.
Thank you. And it's shadowed, not in a bad way, but it's overshadowed by this amazing persona that you have.
and your charisma and your aura and everything else, right?
It's like, that's what we're watching and that's what we're captivated by, but there's a really thoughtful business person behind it who's, and I don't mean that from a, oh, you're just figuring out how to build a business.
No, I know what you mean.
Yeah, I mean it from like, you've figured out how to turn a Tumblr page into, you know - A business.
Yeah, exactly, which is really amazing.
And I think so many people today want to do that.
Right. So I wanted to kind of go back to the start and ask you, like, what did you want to be before Girl With No Job?
That's a great question.
I almost, like, didn't have time to figure it out.
So I started this Tumblr in freshman year of college, which is when people figure out what they want to do.
And it very slowly but also quickly, like, became something I was making money off of.
So much so by the time I graduated, I was making, like, sponsored Instagram posts for a fee that would have been my salary if I ended up with, like, a job in media.
And at the time, like content creation was not a job.
So when I made the decision, it just made no sense like to sit at a desk and earn a living that was comparatively small to what I was pulling from my Instagram.
But people were just like, they couldn't believe it.
And they're like, it's not going to last forever.
And I'm like, maybe, but maybe what if I just ran with it?
And it was really like inconceivable to people that I was not getting a job postgrad and that I would be like on my phone.
And I understand why, because right after that, I was making a really good living, but I was doing nothing.
Like I was home all day and I was watching a lot of TV and I was like recapping it and writing funny blog posts and I was making money, but I was not doing anything.
Like I had no structure to my day.
I did not set an alarm and it was lovely, but it was not fulfilling.
And I knew that it wasn't a sustainable way.
And that's why when we started the podcast, I loved it so much for a million different reasons, but it gave me structure.
It gave me a day. like and now even to this day I very much operate like a Monday to Friday 9 to 5 I work 40 hours a week like every other American like and I think some people run from that sort of convention but when you didn't have it it was like kind of horrible so I crave that sort of structured
stability like seriously if you're looking to answer an email for me after five o 'clock I'm not answering like I have boundaries and I love that my life kind of mirrors that conventional work life but that was a goal that Jackie and I like set because this line of work well yes it can be very lucrative,
it is kind of nuts and it can be a little unstable.
You have a month where you get a ton of work and a month where you don't get.
So it was fun for a girl who was 21, but I knew it wasn't going to be like a sustainable way to live.
But the funny thing is that I think there's like a large, you know, misconception that like I work an hour a day.
People are always saying that to me.
Like, it's like when you say someone from SNL works an hour a week, like, well, no, you see them an hour a week.
You see me one hour a day on the show.
But there's so much that goes into running a show of that size.
And also it's not the only thing that I do.
I'm not bothered so much that people think I don't work like whatever you know like sorry you're dumb you don't know how the industry works like bitch I work hard okay have you ever had a real job oh my god okay so yes like in the sense that throughout high school and like summers in high school I was a camp
counselor I worked at a toy store by the when I went to college all through four years of college I worked I had an internship like a paid five day a week internship at a media company.
It was an internship, but it was structured at like a corporate job.
So yes, I did work in a corporate office for four years, never like full full -time because I was part -time student.
And I probably would have worked at that media company post -grad if I didn't decide to become a full -time content creator.
So like yes and no.
Yeah. What did you learn from the toy store, the internship that you applied?
That working at a toy store was not for fucking me.
Like seriously, gift wrapping is hell on earth.
I still can't do it.
And honestly, when anybody asked me to wrap a gift, I actually have trauma from that fucking store.
Really? Yeah. It was horrible.
Like that stupid gift wrapping section.
Like no matter how many times somebody showed me how to do it, like I could not fucking do it.
Here I am trying to make this amazing point that you had all these amazing - Yeah, sorry, continue your point, just know.
I was trying to put forth this idea that maybe you picked up all these really cool skills that help you in your career today, but - Actually, I will say like working at a toy store, having to talk to strangers, like who you don't know and like pretend like you know what you're talking about that builds
character that builds actually like a great personable vibe um in the corporate space i don't feel like i learned much honestly i i liked the free lunch like it was amazing it was one of those big companies that gives you free lunch and there were snacks everywhere like free snacks i was always eating
goldfish and m &ms and i liked i don't know actually my sisters worked at the same company it was this huge company with like different media companies within it so they all worked at different companies so we all would have lunch together i have very fond memories of that time.
And I think it's a good corporate like media, especially that's like a lot of women.
It's it's a good environment to learn how to talk to people, learn how to deal with like workplace antics and people's personalities.
And sometimes I do miss like I think there's a lot of stability that comes with a corporate job, especially when you're thinking about like motherhood.
I mean, some of these bitches over here with their six months paid maternity leave, like that is a joy.
And they're a corporate health insurance.
There are a lot of things about like what people consider a boring corporate life that actually as somebody without a lot of like without a lot of that I'm very envious of especially when I'm like entering this phase of my life like me and my husband both have our own companies like we don't have maternity
leave we leave and the company suffers do you know what I mean there's no built -in we have our own two -person health insurance it's expensive and it sucks okay like people there is a little bit of that privilege from the corporate life and I know people who are in corporate would look at someone like me
and be like oh I always wanted to be my own boss and it's great.
But you know, there's no insurance.
Yeah, there's pros and cons either way.
There is a hundred percent.
And I feel like I'm only as I get older appreciating the pros of that sort of what people would say more stereotypically boring life.
Yeah. And I think that stigma needs to go as well.
I think that there was this whole cultural shift towards entrepreneurship, quit your job, build your passion, da -da -da -da.
And it's like, I don't think either is for everyone.
And I think we've kind of made like I think we've put more value on the the ladder the entrepreneurship correct but to be clear I feel like we did people a disservice when we did that because there is something lovely about a boring job that doesn't keep you up all night that you can set boundaries
with that pays that makes that pays your bills and you don't owe any you don't over on the company if things are going south that's literally not my problem like yeah there is a piece in that yeah now you don't have as much creative control who cares yeah and also just like I think about this very often
like i couldn't do anything without my team my team are all employed right like and it's like i couldn't last without them so is that like one of the best parts though it's amazing being a business owner it's like other people making their living from you i love it it's the best feeling in the world
it's the craziest feeling yeah it's the most fulfilling feeling i and i know i couldn't do anything without them which is why i value i'm like are we gonna push entrepreneurship you know to the hill right but it's like what would we do without our amazing team members like i know i wouldn't survive
my chief of staff was like unwell for like a week and i was just like i was like i don't know what to do right no that toxic like hustle culture entrepreneurship i'm not a fan of yeah and but was there ever a time you had to do it was there ever a time you did have to work 24 7 before when when things
started to really blow up for me but it wasn't this like standardized economy like it is now like there's a formula you blow up on instagram you get an agent you get a manager you get a rate card you get a media kit like no that was like not the case for me so when things started to work really quickly i
was doing all my own deals.
I did not have a publicist.
I did not have a manager.
I did not have an agent.
I didn't have an assistant.
It was literally just me.
And it was manageable because it was my full -time job, but I don't know shit about fuck.
Like I'm literally 17, like somebody help.
So I was just kind of making it up as I went.
And I think people really underestimated me because I was advocating on my own behalf.
I was 18. I'm much better now, but I used to have like a really thick Long Island accent.
And I was just like, every other word out of my mouth is like, and totally and it's not necessarily giving you you know businesswoman so I would get underestimated a lot and it was a unique time now the girlies and boys but mostly girlies who end up doing what I do now it's kind of all set up for them
but at the time it wasn't a thing people like a brand would reach out and based on like if it was a brand I heard of like one of the first brands I ever worked with was Burger King and they're like how much would you want to and I was like a thousand dollars and they were like okay and i was like bitch
a thousand dollars i bought a purse i was like and then i forgot like i had to pay taxes but whatever um and that's another thing by the way when you do this line of work and nobody teaches you how to do your taxes not me getting a bill from the government like in 2018 for like a hundred thousand dollars
and pay taxes yeah and my biggest fear is going to jail but yeah that's another thing they don't tell you nobody teaches you you kind of just have to learn along the way now i feel like it's pretty set up where if you join this line of work there are certain business managers and accounts who know how
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Have you ever been close to going to jail?
No. No. If only I was that interesting.
Like when I was a senior in high school, I went to go visit my sister Jackie at college and it was a flight.
So I packed up my things.
I didn't have a, so I grew up in Manhattan, so I didn't have a license at the time, which used to make traveling really hard because I didn't have any form of identification.
I used to give them my high school ID.
They're like, this is not legally admissible.
So I'd be like, I don't have a license.
Sorry, I'm literally 17 and I don't have a driver.
I don't have a driver's license.
And for some reason they pulled my bag and they were going through my wallet and they found my fake ID.
and they were like, I thought you didn't have now.
Now I realize they were like doing this to scare me, but at the time I thought I was really going to jail.
They brought a cop out.
She wants to call my parents.
She's swiping my hands.
You know, when you ever get like that and they're like, you tested positive for explosives.
I'm like, bitch, what are you talking about?
I'm literally a high school student.
Wait, how do you test positive for explosives?
I don't know. I mean, I had gotten a manicure.
So I imagine there was like some chemicals on my hands, but it was so they were really trying to scare me.
And this police officer was like, listen, I think you're a good kid.
I'm gonna let you go.
And I ran for my fucking life.
I was so afraid but i was never i didn't break the law i didn't say that this was my idea it could be my cousin sandra like it was the scared most scared i've ever been in my life and probably the closest i've ever gotten to go into jail which is like not that close still it was scary it was scary and let
it be a lesson to any of the minors listening like put your fake id in your checked bag got it yeah put your fake id in your checked bag don't say i never taught you anything what advice would you have like you were saying like it seems like and i agree with you there is more set up we kind of yeah
I think our careers actually we didn't know each other then but they took off around the same time mine was 2016 as well I was a lot older I was 28 okay yeah 27 28 so you had like a pretty good idea of the world to some degree for sure I mean I never knew a person I'd never known anyone who'd worked
in entertainment right anyone who'd worked in media anyone who'd done outside anything outside of London so it was a whole new world for me completely but you're right there are more systems today than there were then what advice would you have for people who are at the age you were when you first blew
up like 17 18 years old because that's happening more and more now like you were more of an anomaly yes that's become now i'm old in the space yeah i have two a really hardcore piece yeah i mean you're ancient sorry um i have two extremely important pieces of advice if you find yourself wanting to get
into this line of work.
I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you've done.
Delete all your old social media posts.
None of it is going to age well.
It's going to come back to bite you in the ass and it's going to ruin your life.
If I had to go through what I went through, everybody found my old tweets and they were like, oh my God, she's fucking crazy.
Delete your tweets.
I can't believe people are still having their tweets.
Girl, delete your tweets.
Stop. That's the first.
Second of all is every dollar you make, put 50 cents in a savings account for your taxes because that's, depending on where you live, that's what it is.
It's half. And the good thing is sometimes you save too much and then you get a little leftover.
But just know if somebody pays you a hundred dollars, you got 50.
Yeah. Very pragmatic advice.
Well, the taxes have ruined my life.
Like when, when, before I had a business manager trying to do my own taxes with like an old school accountant who like, I think I got from like a family member, they had no idea what I did for a living.
And so I was under paying.
I was under reporting.
I was not getting any like 10 99s from the brands that I work with.
It was such a mess.
It was the wild, wild West.
So much so that years later I got that huge bill and it was like the worst thing to ever happen to me I almost had to go on a payment plan with the government like it was so crazy and I think that happens a lot in entertainment especially this like new wave of social media entertainers so finding a an accountant
a business manager or teaching yourself that's fine but as long as you're putting away half of what you make for taxes like you're safe yeah don't you think it's incredible how much you've learned in the last eight years yes sometimes I go back and like read my old emails of like me like talking to
people and I'm like, girl, that's the worst email ever.
But it's like so cool to see how different I speak now and how I'm, I think a lot smarter and able to advocate on my own behalf.
And that little girl sending those emails from her couch, like that's who I am.
That's me. Did you ever pretend to be your own manager?
A thousand percent.
What was the name? Rebecca.
I was always pretending to be my own assistant, like trying to get dinner reservations, trying to set up calls.
Yeah, Claudia's available.
Meanwhile, it's like literally me.
And it worked? A hundred percent.
It worked? Did they negotiate on your behalf sometimes?
Well, I actually was always negotiating on my own behalf because I always found that like so many of the girls who worked at media companies, worked at agencies, these account managers, were followers of mine, were listeners to the toast.
And that's always worked on my own behalf.
Actually, I think like a huge demographic of my following is media girls, girls who work at brands, who work at agencies.
And so it's always kind of benefited me to lead with me because they're excited to work and they want to make it work.
And look, it's sturdy on the other line.
If someone wants to be the next you and start the toast and, you know, start their version.
Don't, don't. Everybody's set.
The toast isn't off.
No kidding. What advice would you have for someone who's listening to you, watching you, going, I want to build that.
I want to create that.
Where should they start?
What should they think about?
Well, I would just get started.
I think a lot of people are always talking about, they're like making strategy plans and outlines for projects.
Just get the project up and running.
You can record a podcast on your phone.
The Voice Memo app actually is very high quality audio.
It's good enough for a starting podcast.
then you can start to make money invest in the shirt microphones that everybody has but before then like just get started people are always like throwing launch parties for things that don't exist yet like just get to work do it yeah don't don't overthink it no and it's also like it's a podcast okay
it's not like the nuclear program it's just just talk what's the nuclear program I don't know I don't know I was trying to sound smart I couldn't think of anything no I love it I couldn't agree with you more as well I think there's just such a I feel like we're all stifling ourselves by procrastinating
we're afraid of being judged right we want to put something out that's perfect but it's like you don't get far without people making fun of you like i'm sure my old post used to get sent around my high school like oh my god look what claudia's doing cringe cringe cringe well it's not so cringe anymore
like girl because i'm successful and you're not but you have that's just part if you if you can't take being mocked like i wish that weren't the case because people are cruel and it is what it is and think about how you talk to your friends about people on social media someone's going to talk about you
like that and you have to be okay with that yeah did you lose any friends along the way no actually I've always been really good I've never been that girl with like a thousand friends I've always had like five really good friends and they're the same friends I love that I love that too they're I've
like the best friends um but you know you do notice people treating you differently like peripherally um and whenever anybody like started being extra nice or whatever I always accepted it like sure you want me to come to your Hampton's house I'll be there but you know you got to keep note of people
who only started acting that way at a certain time in your life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have, yeah, there is definitely that switch.
And, and yeah, I'm the same as you.
I have all my same friends from back in the day.
I can't wait. I literally fly to London tonight to see everyone looking forward to just, yeah, just catching up, kicking it.
And it's, it's one of those things that I feel so fortunate that I had such a good group of friends before everything took off.
You must feel that with Ben too, because it was around the same time.
So I was like, yeah, I guess I met Ben freshman year and freshman year is also when I started my blog.
I don't think it really took off till a year later, but he's been there since the very beginning.
Yeah. How, how, how much do you think that?
That's a good question.
Well, I often like thank the Lord that I don't have to date at all period.
Cause I think dating in this day and age is horrible, but also like with my weird job, like I think it would just, I wouldn't even know how to explain it to people.
And like, I would just feel so like awkward and embarrassed.
So I'm like grateful for that.
Um, but again, I think having this really stable force in my life in Ben, when it came to, when it came to like, you know, how I felt about myself, how I felt about my job.
Like, I think stability is so beneficial when you're trying to build a business and like having someone to come home to and having a very stable personal life.
I think it allowed me to be a little nutty in different areas of my life, like my job.
Cause I didn't have to worry that I was going to come home and it would be chaos.
Like Ben was always there.
Just how was your day?
Yeah. I think that's what it is.
You just hit the nail on the head.
I think there's certain stages in life where you go, if I decide this, it now no longer takes up any space.
I felt that way about getting married.
I felt that way about deciding which city we're going to live in.
Because when we first moved to the States, we lived in New York for two years.
Then we moved to LA.
We've been there for six years.
When we decided we were living in LA and we got our place, it was like another thing.
There was a settled that freed up space.
And I think we're currently living at a time where we struggle to make decisions.
Yes. Because we don't want to kind of, you know, put our roots down.
But actually that creates more chaos in our lives.
A thousand percent.
And I think we also live in a culture that values that sort of like wonderless.
Oh, I live in my car and I don't care.
I don't have a job.
Well, I like a little bit of structure, a little bit boring, a little bit settled.
I think that's me getting older.
But I also think it's just like there's value in also leading a very sort of ordinary.
That's one of my sister's favorite quotes.
I forget. It's like, you know, being ordinary in your personal life so you can be violent in your creative or artistic life because it's like you can't have a million balls in the air at one time.
but so to have a very um i don't want to say regular because i feel like that has a negative connotation but like a very peaceful very settled private life it really does allow you to you know for me it's my work for anyone it could be something else just to like i don't know fuck shit up you know what's
what's the hardest part about working with family and what's there is a one really yeah i know and i'm unique in that i think some people have different family issues I could never I mean look at how many female podcasting duos that it's every day we're talking about another one breaking them up me
and Jackie will be podcasting until the day that we die like we are bound by blood she's the only person I can really talk to honestly like I think a lot of people think I'm very confrontational because I'm loud and like a little aggressive but actually like if I have a problem with you I'll just start
crying like I cannot talk to people except my sister I could say whatever I want and it just like I don't have a single complaint about working with family that's amazing yeah I know impressive I know I love that me too to some people they're like so confused by it for me I wouldn't have it any other
way yeah no I love that for you I'm glad I mean it's it's the best thing when it works yes yes and I know I'm special and lucky that it does work how has your relationship had to change like what's it meant to keep that up like what have you had to do in order to have a sister relationship and a business
partner relationship because or are all your conversations always about the podcast?
Yeah, I mean, it's so intertwined.
But interestingly enough, when Jackie and I were growing up, we're four sisters total from top to bottom.
Like there's six years between us and we're all really tight.
And we were all really tight growing up.
You know, there were different dynamics as we got older.
Like in the beginning, it was always the two older sisters and the two younger sisters, me and Margot.
Like we were just sort of divided by age and Olivia and Jackie would like leave us out and me and Margot were just like sharing a room.
So we were like, okay, whatever, I guess it's just us.
And then as we got older, my interests started to align a lot more with Olivia's.
And then Jackie and Margo became like really similar and really close.
So the dynamics of what we shifted, but the dynamics when we were kids were never Jackie and I.
We actually probably got along the least.
We didn't fight. We didn't hate each other.
We just were not drawn to one another.
So I would say we were probably the least close out of all four.
Not that we had issues, but we were just not, I don't think we understood each other.
Jackie's very reserved.
Jackie's very quiet, but not shy.
Quiet. Me, I'm spreading my legs for everybody.
I'm like, what's up?
Who do you want to talk to?
Let's go here. Let's go there.
So I think that I thought she was like, you know, weird and she thought I was weird.
We didn't understand one another.
And then when we started to work together, our differences ended up, you know, working in our favor.
It made the conversations on the podcast more dynamic.
And we just very naturally became so close through work.
But also we were talking all the time, you know.
So wait, when you're when you're putting out an episode, how much of it have you talked about before?
Zero. Literally zero.
Zero. Every single episode is completely off the cuff.
Everything about it.
We have like five topics that we need to hit every day, whatever the news of the day is, but everything else is completely off the cuff.
Like we've never once had a conversation.
Sometimes we used to sit on FaceTime for like an hour before we would start recording to get set up and we would just end up talking and we actually felt like it was ruining the show.
She calls me at 10 .30 and we start recording at 10 .31.
Like we do not, because we don't want to waste any of the, we'll never recreate a conversation.
That's so fake. Like we just go for it.
That's amazing. So that way you're really catching up in that time too.
exactly because you're avoiding talking the night before exactly you saying what you did and she lives in a different state so we have a lot to catch up on how when did she move and when did you guys she moved I think 2021 and I was like okay it's the end of the show like we'll do remote but who the hell
wants to listen to remote podcasters like it's so covid and it sucks and I knew that it was the beginning of the end and I was freaking a little bit and let me tell you it's the best thing to ever happen to us one um because of covid we were forced to really invest in the tech.
So there's actually no delay.
There's no lag. A lot of people don't know that we live in separate states.
So I think a lot of times people are shocked to find out that Jackie doesn't live in New York anymore, which makes me so happy.
And two, a little bit of the distance physically has benefited us greatly because we're no longer on top of each other.
We get to, like you say, have these natural catch -up conversations that we might not be having if she lived down the block for me, which she did for many years.
So it's actually been the best thing to happen to the show.
And I thought it was going to be like the beginning of the end.
What makes you feel like when you've recorded a great episode, how do you know?
Oh my God, let me just laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh.
Like sometimes we are just so silly that I don't even think we're speaking English anymore.
Like it's just that sisterly thing where you can really only act so nuts with your sister.
Those are the best episodes, like true belly laughs.
Yeah. And that is something you can only do with someone you know very very well and you guys call each other afterwards and like oh my god you are so funny that's a good question, no actually it's so routine to us now that's kind of sad, we should be like listen that was so funny no we don't do that but it
kind of protects why that hour is so good that's the point we're not trying so hard, we're just talking yeah yeah it's such a special skill it's actually such a special talent I agree that podcasting is a skill And it's a talent.
Because I think, I mean, the running joke is like, you know, everybody has a podcast, not everybody should.
But there are a lot of failed podcasts.
And I think that a lot of people think like, yeah, I could talk for an hour a week.
I actually don't think you could.
It is an art, especially with a co -host, especially as an interviewer, when to talk, when to listen, when to stop.
And so a lot of people don't possess that skill.
And I appreciate you saying that because it's definitely a skill the same way like, you know, any other job is a skill.
Like if you're a mathematician, you know, you need a certain set of skills.
and podcasting definitely requires that too.
Yeah, no, I just like to point it out because I think we just, it is that I have so many friends who are just like, I remember when I first started creating content and my friends are like, oh, we can do that.
And then it was like this whole journey where everyone realizes that it's different.
And I think with you, because it's so natural and because it's so off the cuff, it can often be, you can kind of be like, oh yeah, well that's whatever, but it's like, no, no, no, there's a real talent.
There's a skill there.
How much have you practiced over the years or was this who you were at school with your friends like is this just who you've been where was the training where were the reps it's this is always who i've been like very like leading with like i've always loved attention i've always loved to talk i've always
loved to make people laugh but i do think that i have practiced and rehearsed a little bit in recent years just knowing when to listen that's always been my um that's the biggest critique people have of me on the show and they're totally valid and that i never let my sister talk i talk over people i'm
sure i've done it to you i'm so sorry like and i'm really trying um it's one of my worst skills personally and professionally i do it at a dinner party it's so annoying and like when other people do it i'm like oh my god she didn't shut up and people are like bitch that's you so i am working on that i
used to be much worse so it's a work in progress but it's important to know like your skills but it's also important to know what you're not good at and i know that i'm not good at knowing when it's my time to listen like right now have you ever measured how fast you took no but I know it's insane and if you
can believe it it's insane I used to talk so much faster and it's funny because me and you I'm at the opposite end like I usually talk so slowly yeah you're very measured yeah no no so it's so funny because when we're together I'm just like I'm speeding up slightly just to know Jay I need you to listen
to episodes of The Toast from like 2019 I used to swallow full paragraphs like I don't even know what I was saying you think it's fast now to me this is me being so much better it's amazing it used to be really bad it's amazing have you you talked about their like wanting attention And I think anyone
who's doing something publicly, naturally, there is a part of them that enjoys the attention.
I always say, like, I love when people come up to me on the street and say hello.
I tell people in the podcast to say, hey, if you see me, come and say hello.
I want to say hello to you.
I really appreciate the feedback and the energy I get.
I had a, I was walking a few years ago now, quite a while ago with one of my clients who's a well -known actor.
He gets recognized a hundred times for every one time I get recognized.
So super well -known and successful.
And like, he'd get stopped.
I'd get stopped once.
He'd get stopped multiple times.
I'd get stopped once.
And I asked him like, how does that feel?
And he said, you know what?
He goes, Jay, you're really lucky.
And I was like, why?
And he said, you're lucky because people stop me for who I pretend to be and people stop you for who you are.
And I was like, wow, like that really stayed powerful yeah it really stayed with me it's one of those moments and you're not gonna tell us who it was no I can't uh but it was like no fun but it was I that's my private part of course you'll tell me after we start recording yeah but but that was one of my
favorite moments it stayed with me ever since that yeah and I'm like wait a minute like and same with you like people when they're coming up to you and saying the toast is amazing or when I keep hearing Jay we heard you on the toast it was so fun you know when I get that feedback from people I'm thinking
oh wow like you're doing that how have you been careful about your relationship with attention so that it doesn't get unhealthy?
How have you thought about that?
You know, it's so funny.
The more attention you get, the less you want it.
And so I think as somebody who was an attention whore, I was an attention seeking whore growing up my whole life to end up in a line of work where you get a lot of it, it's fulfilling for a second.
And then it's like enough.
And I actually feel like I say I'm an attention whore.
I'm actually really not so much anymore.
I got the attention that I wanted and it felt good, but it didn't solve all my problems like I thought it was going to.
so not that anybody who's you know is an attention seeker should get the attention because then it'll it's kind of a problem that fixes itself but I'm really not I think when people meet me like on the street sometimes they're a little taken aback how actually I'm not like a dancing monkey like I'm not so crazy
all the time like making jokes I actually and definitely as I've gotten older like a little bit more pulled back you know I'm still a little nuts more than the average person but not I think as much as people would expect What part of your confidence are you still working on?
I'm really not, honestly.
Like, I feel very confident in all aspects of my life.
Like, I know that I'm great at my job.
I know I'm a great wife.
I know I'm literally gorgeous.
Like, I don't feel like I'm lacking confidence in any area, honestly.
Wow. I have a lot of other problems, though, but not that.
Like? Oh, girl, where did I begin?
Okay. What would I say is my biggest problem?
I actually would say my biggest problem is sometimes my humor can be mean and I think that's like the worst type of humor and I'm actually really working on it um like when you poke fun at someone sometimes I feel like I really take it too far like it's okay to like think something and not say it because I've
noticed that a lot that I sometimes border on mean and I don't like being mean that's not funny to me I think some people feel like they have to be mean in order to be funny and that's not true I can be funny without being mean yeah and that's something you're working on yes like sometimes I'll say
something I'll be like damn that was rough you know like and and so I'm aware of it and I'm really trying to stop yeah I don't know if I will at least I'm aware of it this Valentine's Day celebrate every love story with Pandora whether it's romantic platonic familial or a gesture of self -love Pandora's
versatile designs let you express your unique connections in meaningful ways.
Each piece tells a story of love or friendship that transcends materialism, turning every gift into heartfelt messages that connects hearts.
From best friends to significant others, Pandora helps you honor the bonds that make life richer and more meaningful.
For me, I'm a hopeless romantic.
Valentine's Day is all about showing Radhi how much she means to me.
She's my partner, my inspiration, and my best friend.
finding the perfect piece from pandora like a charm that symbolizes her kindness and creativity lets me share a meaningful message of love and inspiration celebrate your love story with a valentine's day surprise from pandora jewelry let your heart guide you to the perfect gift choose from styles full
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now supplements 19 000 reasons to feel good spending less learn more at now foods .com forward slash purpose you love the uh one percent evil it's fun yeah yeah yeah it's uh no that's so beautiful to hear i mean to hear you say hey you know what i'm actually really confident i love hearing that i love
it when someone says that because it's a journey yeah Yeah, no, but I mean, not that you've arrived because there is no arrival but the idea that you feel that way I mean, that doesn't mean that like I don't see a picture of myself and like literally wanna die but I don't, try not to place too much
value on that because there are other parts of me that are worthy, probably more worthy than how I look Yeah But I am a shallow person I do place a lot of emphasis and value on my physical appearance Yeah, is that something you've ever tried to change or shift or you've just accepted it?
It's actually like a new thing I think since losing weight I've kind of become obsessed with it.
And that's like one thing that I've gained during my weight loss journey that I don't like.
The obsession with how I look.
Because before, like I knew I didn't look great.
So like whatever. You know, I worked on other things.
But then I started to really like the way that I looked on the Ozempic journey and I kind of became obsessed with it.
Like I used to weigh myself and be like, I mean, it's not great, but whatever.
Then I would lose weight.
And when I would weigh myself and it wasn't exactly what I wanted, I would be so hard on myself.
And I used to not care about that.
So that's actually something I'm working on.
But with a pregnancy, like it's a problem for later May.
Yeah, of course. I can't fix everything all at once.
Okay. I'm not Jay Shetty.
No, no, no. Trust me.
I can't either. No, but it's interesting how sometimes the things we work on more become our greatest stresses.
Yes. Yeah. That's definitely how I feel with my weight.
Yeah. And, and it's one of those things that it's, but the great thing is you're aware.
And I think that's what I always think about.
I remember when Kevin Hart came on the podcast, he was talking about how in a very different context, but he was talking about how like some of the mistakes he made and not comparing at all, but he was talking about some of the mistakes he made.
And they came from a place of him feeling like this was never going to go away.
And then he was like, now I need to deal with the fact that one day I may not be as famous or successful as whatever.
And it was just really interesting him saying that when I still think he's crushing it and killing it.
And he's like, you know, but how we perceive people versus how they perceive themselves is so interesting.
Correct. Yeah. And that's what I find is always fascinating because you think someone's peaking.
Living the best life.
Yeah. And in their head, they're like oh i'm insignificant right now yeah but it does not that you want people to feel poorly about themselves but seeing someone whom you perceive to be on top of the world talk about how they perceive themselves and it's not necessarily like the best there is like solace
in that like even people who are killing it and rich and famous like even they hate themselves so who cares if i do you know i wanted to end with talking about you know you talked a lot about last year losing your dog which um i think no one prepares you for it Yeah.
I had so many friends who sadly went through the same thing in the last 12 months.
I don't know what it was about the last 12 months and maybe it's sadly always the case, but at least in my life, I had so many people telling me that.
I had my business manager, a really close friend, like just so many people in life.
We had a Taylor Hill who came on the podcast and talked about the loss of her dog, Tate, and just how hard that was for her.
What has been your greatest lesson for grief in that journey?
So funny because, you know, I lost my dad when I was in the eighth grade, or excuse me, the ninth grade, like literally the first month of high school, worst time ever.
And it was extremely hard.
And I actually feel like being younger, I was able to bounce back a little bit more.
I remember going through that and really, I had just transferred schools and then my dad passed and I really didn't want to be known as like the girl with the dead dad.
So I remember making an active effort to get back to my life.
And I leaned so heavily into my sisters and that's really why my sisters and I are so close.
And my friends and extra school, and I really, and that's just being a kid, right?
You're more susceptible.
You're more adaptable.
Like you just bounce back.
And I've found like when, you know, friends of mine now are losing parents, like it's so much harder.
Like you're an adult, you understand the importance of life, you have kids of your own.
And so not that it's the same at all, but like losing my dog at 29 was like the first experience with grief as an adult.
And let me tell you, it is so much harder.
And this was, you know, a dog, not a human being.
The difference was, and I have long wondered, My dad passed away overnight like he was not sick.
He had a heart attack and he died before he even got to the hospital like completely kind of freak accident.
And people always talk about like is it better, you know, for someone to die like that or to get a chance to say goodbye to somebody who has like a terminal illness but you have to watch them suffer for months.
And I feel like there's no right answer.
Just everybody thinks their own.
And I never really knew what the answer was but with Theo, he had terminal cancer.
And we ended up putting him down but so we lived with the cancer I want to say for like two or three weeks like really not a long time.
it was the worst time of my life like it was worse than when he actually had died like seeing something you someone you love so much be in such pain it's not worth being able to say goodbye honestly so oddly that experience brought me peace with my dad like I like yeah I didn't get to say goodbye but like
I didn't have to watch him suffer like that's it's definitely worse and so the older I get the actually the harder grief is you know like I remember getting married and being like so angry that my dad wasn't going to be there and feeling like this was so unfair.
But I hadn't really felt that anger up until that point.
Like the older you get, the more important life moments, marriage, kids, you realize like how much you need a parent.
And so as a kid, like, yeah, okay, he's not at my soccer game, but like you just are, you're more resilient as a kid.
You really are. And so going through grief as an adult is 45 times harder.
And that was just with my dog, you know, whom I loved more than anything, but a dog is not a person.
And it was the, most challenging thing.
I actually don't even remember it.
I blacked out that part of my life.
It's coming up on a year, actually, like this week.
It was the hardest thing I'd ever been through in my life.
Like, seriously, I, like, I, I can't believe, I don't even think about that time because it was so, it was traumatizing.
That's so profound though, the connection between the two.
I know. Well, it was, they were so polar opposite.
It's like, what I've, I think I actually would have preferred just like to take Theo to the doctor and have him die.
Like the three weeks of diapers, of medication.
Oh my God, it was horrible.
And I felt like I was doing the wrong thing because, you know, it's cruel to keep a dog like that alive for your own.
They're so clearly in pain.
It's the right thing to do to put them down.
And if you're selfishly keeping them, and I said, I'm not going to do that.
And so when we woke up one morning, it was so clear that he was suffering.
We were like, listen, this is cruel.
We're keeping him alive for us.
Like we knew we had to do that.
And with my dad, like I had always felt like, oh my God, I never got to say goodbye.
It was, you know, hi one day, bye the next.
But what Theo, the passing of Theo really taught me is like, honestly, it's better.
It is. I think. What did girl with the dead dad like mean to you?
Like what did that kind of like, what did that symbolize for you that you didn't want to be?
You know, I just remember in middle school, there was a girl whose dad had died and her, she was in my grade and then her brother was in my sister's grade.
And it was just kind of like the thing people said.
Do you know what I mean?
Like pointing and saying?
No, not pointing, but like if you overheard like another parent talking, oh, did you hear?
It was just kind of what, you know, they were led with.
And I didn't want that.
I wanted to be a girl who was funny, a girl who was good at soccer, a girl who was beautiful.
Like literally anything.
I did not want to have that to be the thing.
Like, oh, did you hear about that Astre girl?
Her father died. Like I didn't want that to be the first thing people said about me.
So I remember making a conscious effort to just like bounce back.
And it did work for a period of time.
I can't imagine how challenging it is to, you know, be going be giving birth having lost let me tell you it sucks like and I see Ben who has both parents I'm so happy for him but I'm jealous yeah naturally yeah I don't think that's bad no no of course not it's definitely not bad and they're the best
Ben's parents like his dad is like always inviting me out on father's day like but you know a parent is a parent yeah for sure thank you for sharing thank you thank you for being open it's uh I'm hoping that yeah I'm hoping that people who've been through similar things or you know I know plenty of people
in my life who lost a parent early and it's it's something that's not talked about enough online like you don't you don't really hear about it yeah it's kind of like something you talk about in therapy and nowhere else yeah it's just like hard to talk about nobody wants to be crying all the time and I
think that no matter what stage of your grief that you're at like you can't talk about it without crying that doesn't mean that you're not healed it's just sad like it's and I don't want to be sad like that's my whole thing.
Like, I love being happy.
I love making people laugh.
I love laughing. Like if I'm laughing, I'm so happy.
So I hate to like sit around.
And that's why like I know when I talk about this on the podcast, people don't like it.
But I don't do therapy.
Not for any reason.
I'm not like against it.
I know it's really powerful for a lot of people.
But I've never really had a hard time communicating.
And I'm very blessed that like I have a lot of people in my life who I feel completely open and comfortable opening up to.
And I know that's a privilege that not a lot of people have um but i also like i don't know i just don't want to spend my life being sad like the world is sad enough like my i wake up every day with the the goal of like making people laugh like i like to be joyous and spread joy and i don't know sitting
in the therapist's office for an hour a week like crying like oh my god like seriously i can't yeah yeah no and i and i think that everyone has their different coping mechanisms like you said and for some people that is the only place they have to open up space and a space where they don't feel judged in a space
where they don't feel, you know, looked at in a certain way because their family friends may be that way.
And, and, and it's beautiful that you don't have that.
I was going to ask you, what's been your, have you thought a lot about like your energy, baby's energy?
Like, what, like walk me through that.
Yes, I have a lot because, you know, people tell me that I'm kind of like a baby whisperer because I love to sing and I love to dance and I love to like, I'm obsessed with babies and that's what babies love.
And that's what babies need.
Like their first couple of months always looking for somebody to sing and dance to them and so that's the type of mom I want to be like super joyous super like always singing um I don't know if you follow Jessie J the singer on Instagram but yeah okay so she had a baby and like she's always singing
to her baby on Instagram now I know she has like one of the best voices in the world and I don't but like I'm I'm gonna be Jessie J like I'm gonna be singing to my baby and my baby's gonna think I have the most amazing voice because my baby's gonna be my number one fan it's gonna be so funny if they
don't oh my god stop I'll be so upset if like every time I sing the baby Christ?
Yeah, well, they'll love it till they're like four.
Oh, of course not. I'm talking about year one.
Yeah, year one. One fan for one year is good enough.
I love that. I love that.
And have you thought about whether you're going to be sharing baby journey online?
I have thought about it.
I definitely want to share my journey.
I'm pretty against, you know, putting your kids on social media.
I don't judge other people who do, but I'm not going to.
And I feel like I see a trend of people sharing less and actually pulling their kids off social media because the dangers of it are like so obvious.
Yeah, I know. That's something me and Riley talk about a lot.
Like it's, it's one of our discussion.
If the internet wasn't such a disgusting place, I would love to like have fun, but no, we can't have nice things.
People are disgusting and absolutely not.
Yeah. It's challenging.
It's such a, yeah, that's the hard part, right?
That's the hard part that it's like in the same way as you wouldn't just put your kid up somewhere physically in that way that they're exposed to anyone and everyone.
Yeah. Yeah, and they just actually passed that law in California about like family channels.
And Demi Lovato was a big part of it, of like just child actors, but also child like family channels, like basically exploiting your kids on social media for money.
They're all still actively happening, but I feel like in 10, 15 years, like we are gonna be hearing like the most craziest stories about kids who were forced to be on like YouTube family channels.
It's disgraceful. But it's also a slippery slope.
Like, you know, like you start posting your kids and that's the most engaging content.
So you post more and more and more and then you rely on it to pay your bills.
So you're yelling at your kids to smile for the thumbnail.
and i never want i never want to be that yeah yeah it's great that you guys have yeah because i haven't even talked to ben about it but i don't care what he says like i love that i'm sure he'll agree with me yeah but we haven't had like a full conversation about it okay good to know good to know so he'll
be hearing about this on the jay shetty podcast is this usually how it goes no actually certain things i feel really strongly about and i say ben like this is what we're doing certain things he feels super strongly about i'm like okay sometimes we both don't know how to feel and there are people in our
life whose opinions we like respect and we'll call them and ask and and get their opinions and we'll come to a decision together it just depends on what the topic is you know yeah I think that makes a lot of sense yeah that's fair if you feel strongly enough it's a rule and yeah and it's important to
know like as a half of a part like a half of a marriage like if there are certain things you don't have like strong feelings about but your partner does like so let them have that one and then when you have strong feelings about something and they don't they will let you have it like that's the whole
you know stick with compromise but also um knowing when you don't know like some all of this is new to me motherhood pregnancy and so knowing that i have no experience and talking to people who do and if i trust them and i think that like their values align with mine taking their advice um but like
it's important to know like when you don't know enough claudia you are you're one of the most fascinating people Oh my god I've ever met You are hilarious You're smart Profound today at times I really didn't want to cry Vulnerable But it is what it is No I appreciate you being so Honest and vulnerable
with us And showing that soft side Yeah no You know like For people to be able to see You can't but turning in a box Like she is gonna surprise you I love it I love it Well Claudia It's been such a joy Talking to you Thank you for having me We end every episode With a final five Okay These have to be
answered In one word To one sentence Oh I love a game Not a Claudia sentence Okay okay oh i promise i will do one word yes yeah one word or one sentence oh okay but but not a sentence at 100 miles per hour you squeezed in 79 words i'm not j calling me out okay all right okay yeah i'm not judging you
no no of course not okay so uh question number one what is the best advice you've ever heard or received um this isn't like you know a curated sentence so i'm just gonna like speak um and i think it's something i've realized as i've gotten older especially as like a woman in the industry you feel really
competitive with like other people I feel now like I like to work to live and not live to work like I just would like to make a living I don't need to be the biggest podcaster I don't need the number one selling comedian I just would like to provide for my family I think when you get really caught up
in like the hustle culture it's good to have ambition of course but what used to be important to me is actually really not important to me anymore now like just a job is a job it's to provide and that's it great sentence thanks yeah oh god I forgot about the sentence okay sorry I'm good I'm good.
No, no, no, it's well explained.
I would have asked you to expand.
Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?
Oh my God, there is a...
Okay, sorry, it's gonna be more than one sentence.
There is a phrase that I hate.
It's called, like, being realistic is the quickest path to mediocrity.
Like, I so disagree with that.
I think being realistic is so important.
Like, so important.
Yeah, good answer. Question number three, what excites you most about motherhood?
I'm such an affectionate person.
Like, I love... All my nieces and nephews who are growing older now, they're, like, starting to hate it, but, like, I cover them in kisses.
I'm just obsessed with kisses and hugs.
This baby is going to love me more than anyone.
I'll probably end up liking Ben more.
But this baby is mine, you know?
And I can kiss it as much as I want.
I love it. Question number four, what are you most excited to see about Ben becoming a dad?
Oh my God. I just know Ben is going to be the best.
The best, most affectionate.
The kids are going to love him.
They're going to like him so much more.
They're going to go to him.
I don't know what exactly I'm most looking forward to, but I feel a lot of peace knowing that I'm bringing a baby into the world with like someone who's seriously going to be the best dad on the planet.
Fifth and final question.
We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show.
If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
It should be absolute law that everybody listens to The Toast every single morning.
And then on purpose.
Yeah. Of course, of course, yeah.
Actually, no, this is my answer.
Not on purpose, sorry.
Just The Toast. Oh, thanks.
All right, Claudia.
no it should be law like it should be NPR it should be public radio I love it yeah that's great law thanks and then I ultimately you know that affects my bottom line Claudia thank you so much I loved every moment of this me too thank you if you love this episode you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner
on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child you could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like that is so unfair because that's not who I am And that really gets to me sometimes.
But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am.
Why does anything else matter?
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