Discussion keeps the world turning.
This is Roundtable.
You're listening to Roundtable with myself, Ha Young.
I'm joined by Steve Hatherly and Yuxin in the studio.
Coming up, the Chinese New Year holidays is almost here, and so is the stress.
We know. Eventually, we'll survive the family drama, the financial pressure of traveling, seeing people, and gift -giving, and still enjoy the celebration.
But how do we stay happy without losing our chill?
Let's talk about the mental prep for spring festival celebrations.
That being said, let today be your final push before the festivities begin.
Roundtable's Motivational Monday segment is here to ignite that energy so you're ready to soar all week and beyond.
Our podcast listeners can find us at Roundtable China on Apple Podcast.
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And now let's switch gears.
The Chinese New Year is almost upon us, and we're diving headfirst into the holiday season.
A magical time filled with joyous celebrations, dazzling lights, and let's face it, a little bit of stress.
While the idea of festival cheer sounds really amazing, we all know that sometimes it's about more than just good food and fun.
Between awkward family conversations and the financial pressure of gift -giving and traveling, things can get a little bit intense.
Hence, whether you're gearing up for the Chinese New Year or Christmas or any other major celebration, keeping your cool amidst the chaos is an art form that is worth mastering.
So why do major holidays such as this one require mental preparation?
I think this is where Chinese culture meets Western culture meets every culture around the world.
When you're talking about shifting abruptly from a busy daily routine, and that routine could be a work routine or a study routine, and then all of a sudden it stops and you're supposed to be in relaxation mode.
But it's not that easy sometimes to shift from your routine of work or study to holiday syndrome, as they call it.
It can feel disorienting.
It can be stressful in itself when you know that you're supposed to try to relax.
And that's why preparing emotionally and preparing mentally for a big holiday is really important to do.
too. Many people experience a little bit of emptiness at the beginning of a holiday because they might feel there's a lack of direction, right?
When you're in your work or study routine, you know you have to wake up at 7 a .m.
You know you have to leave the house by 8 a .m.
You know you'll have your lunch at this time.
You know you'll finish study or work at this time.
It's all part of your routine.
It makes you feel emotionally and mentally comfortable.
But when a holiday starts, you kind of don't know what to do with yourself sometimes, and that may cause feelings of anxiety or mental fatigue as the holiday continues.
Yeah, and also I think that is why that may lead to some emotional fluctuations.
Despite being a joyful occasion, this spring festival season doesn't guarantee happiness for everyone, I would say.
Maybe, some, as you said, they're still working or maybe they have a kind of a complex family relationships.
And that may lead you to have that kind of loneliness or missing loved ones who are maybe far away.
And that may cast a shadow over the celebration all around this country.
So for some, the holiday may evoke memories of like loved ones triggering feelings of sadness.
And that could be some of the reasons that we need a little bit of preparation for the holiday.
I think both of you raise interesting points.
What you shouldn't just said now, I think essentially it's, you know, when you are if you've been living away from your family, the close ones and also extended family, then suddenly you need to like go back to them.
A lot of us might feel like our roles kind of need to shift a little bit.
you're not that independent person who's reinvented your life in a big city you're going back to your roots and then how do you adjust from now to then yes it's a bit weird and it could be a little bit stressful but Steve what you mentioned earlier about feeling a little bit disoriented about, oh, it's
the holidays. What do I do with my time?
Actually, I think that for those, especially those who need to travel to go back to their hometowns or for people, maybe you're already in the so -called hometown and you've been putting in a lot of money, time, energy to prepare for the holiday.
For all of these folks, I think the first leg of the holiday is really busy.
And because maybe you're traveling, maybe you've cooked so many dishes or prepared so much, then you're too busy to think about how to enjoy the holiday.
And then in a way, keeping you busy is good.
It's after the first maybe three, four days, and then when it all quiets down a little bit, or maybe for some, it's towards the end of the holiday, and you're like, what, that's it?
And then now I need to go back to work already?
And you're exhausted.
So you need a holiday from the holiday.
And that's when it's a little disoriented.
Yeah, and there's a lot of social pressure too for people who are, yeah, you have the pressure of getting ready to travel.
You have the hectic, busy train stations, the bad traffic on the roads or however you're traveling.
So you've got that pressure and stress, particularly if you're traveling, you know, with your kids or with many members of your family.
Right. Then you've got the social pressure after you arrive.
Right. You have to be in in character almost because people are excited to see you.
They're excited to have conversations with you, which is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
But at the same time, that can add a lot of stress or cause a little bit of discomfort, too.
My point is, is that almost every leg of the Spring Festival journey is draining, isn't it?
And like I said, this is not exclusive to Spring Festival.
This is true of every big holiday and everyone who travels and spends time with family members and friends during the holidays.
And it's been talked a lot by a lot of young Chinese people saying that one only teeny tiny little one complaint about Chinese New Year is that when they're going back, they will have a lot of these sensitive topics with their relatives, such as questions about marriage.
Are you having a girlfriend or boyfriend?
Are you getting married any soon?
Or how's your career?
How's your salary? How's your education?
house and all of these are causing maybe discomfort for or stress and also kind of a frequent socializing can leave people feeling drained as you said because that's kind of a tradition in chinese new year maybe we will spend a lot of time in visiting our relatives they're not coming to us they are coming
to us and we're also going to their households to visit them see that's also you know, only on the premise that you do have such a big family and your extended family are in the same city or location where you're celebrating because for my family we don't have those people around us in Beijing and therefore
we're going to have a really quiet Chinese New Year.
Yeah, every family's situation is different, right?
Yeah, it is. And also Yushun, you mentioned this is an evergreen topic around this period of time, every year when young people, another generation of young people are complaining, oh, I need to deal with this.
But actually, this year, I, instead of previous year's shows, I would give you people, I would give folks a guide in how to fight back when you are bombarded by these annoying questions.
This year, maybe I think I've matured a little bit.
I read a couple of articles that inspired me.
So basically, you know, why do these relatives ask you these questions that, you know, as a well versed person feel, this is so inappropriate.
Actually, those folks, maybe they're a little bit older, maybe they don't read these WeChat articles, or maybe they don't live in these big cities where these kind of discussions have been circling in the office already for a month, they just want to know you again.
And for older folks, they don't know how to communicate with you.
They don't know the latest video game.
They don't know nothing about black myth Wukong or, you know, the hip things that maybe you do.
And therefore, how do you connect with this family member that you haven't seen in a long time?
And they go back to human nature that is how much you earn your relations stated a relationship status you've got fat didn't you i totally agree with you it's because and you know i lived in korea for such a long time it's exactly the same it's exactly the same dealing with these types of personal questions
from older family members so every year at this time when i was doing my show So we always talked about the same thing.
Expect the questions.
Expect them. They're coming for sure.
They are coming, so be prepared for them.
And don't be offended too much by them because your family member, as you just mentioned, I think you hit the nail on the head, they don't know what else to talk about with you.
They're just trying to be polite and trying their best to connect with you somehow.
They don't know what's going on in your life, so what else can they ask?
Well, maybe you can ask back.
But in previous years, I've always – I've been a little passive aggressive saying that, oh, ask about their blood pressure.
Ask about how their kids are doing.
Is it a bit high? I mean, maybe that's not really the friendly way to go.
I think as a mature person, maybe you just accept that, okay, these questions may be coming.
And maybe you just hint, you know, like let's try to be a little bit civil here.
But also, one year in, the other year out, you know?
Like, you don't need to, like, they're not your parents.
They don't live with you.
Or prepare your medical records.
Here you go before you ask.
Here's everything you need to know.
Or prepare a resume for them.
Your resume. Yeah, exactly.
Well, Yushin, how do you deal with that?
I mean, when you go home and you visit your family members and you get these questions, are you dating?
or plans to get married?
How do you deal with those?
Yeah, and I think I am fortunate enough to be just like Huyang.
We don't have that huge relatives, families, that kind of thing.
But I do wonder if, like you guys are talking about it, does that mean they don't actually care about your personal information?
They're just asking you this question.
And then maybe you can give them some kind of vague answers.
Oh, yeah, it's just fine.
Yeah, yeah, that is good.
And then that is how you start your conversation.
And then after a conversation, after a conversation, you guys can have a more like deep talk in maybe how your relationship with your nephew or something like that.
And also I saw some really, really humorous replies online.
Some netizens joked about being asked about his salary and saying that my salary is like my hair.
Do you know why? It looks like a lot.
Oh, but once you grab it, there's nothing left.
Self -deprecating humor.
Yeah, so preparing some of these kind of humorous answers to actually embark or kind of start a conversation with them and to make the atmosphere more lively.
And then maybe you will have more fun conversations.
Also maybe some of the older relatives have learned as well.
Right. You know, because there's so much discussion on social media.
I think like when you see that if they're asking this person these questions and then you're getting the poker face or you're getting all this person is obviously under stress and trying to answer your questions and then they know they've been around long enough to divert attention somewhere else.
or something like that I mean it was only 12 months ago when the same conversations took place right so but also as an older person now I see you know having this chance to go see extended family to you know there's some new light that's been shed on it for me in the sense that like usually when you're
away from family away from extended family you get to pick and choose the people you want to hang out with, right?
And they're usually people who are kind of similar to you or they vibe with you in some way.
But when you go back to your original family and also see the extended family, this is one of the rare chances that you're stuck with what the Almighty has prepared for you.
But actually, these are people that, I mean, you can see it as a social experiment that these are you know by luck you hang with these people and try to know more about their lives because it could be vastly different to what you've built for yourself and as an older person now I think I kind of see
the merit to that because you know out of your own friends And maybe these aren't necessarily the people of your picking, but it's a wonderful opportunity to know what the society and world is like in a way.
Yeah, we have an expression in English that is something along the lines of this.
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family members.
So they are who they are.
So I see what you're saying.
Why not spend a little time going on the aggressive, if you will, rather than the defensive and try to initiate the conversation and find out a little bit about who they are?
Why not? That's your family.
And do you guys have some final tips in giving folks if they feel, oh, I really need to mentally prepare this?
I want to know a step by step help me out guide here.
My favorite, you know, you can look up pieces of advice on multiple websites on how to deal with this emotionally when you have to go home for the holidays.
My favorite is find a friend, if you will, within the group of family members.
Find someone who might be just as stressed as you are and tell that person, hey, we need a signal to each other.
Almost like the bat signal from Batman.
When I need you to come rescue me from a conversation, I'll give you the wink, wink.
And then you come over to me and say, hey, I need you for something.
Can you come? And then you do the same thing.
And if you're a team helping each other, that might help you de -stress a little bit.
Mine is more a bit of psychological.
I think embrace your family kind of thing.
you remember the happiest part that when you are going back home and maybe these kind of annoying time can be less annoying coming up next motivational Monday you shouldn't what do you have for us yes so my motivational Monday is of course the thought of going back home yay so yeah our listeners perhaps
you are on the train back home or preparing for your chinese new year's goods for your journey or just eagerly participating the day that you return but no matter what the feeling of having home is always filled with excitement and expectation we just talked for eight minutes on how to avoid your family
members if you're stressed out but anyways the thought of going back home still still make you expect so much about this kind of journey maybe in your life as I said you'll travel to many places and see many sites but the most beautiful scenery is I think the road home and the greatest happiness in the world is having
your healthy parents and being reunited with your family.
So, you know, the road home is not just, I think, the path in the physical world.
It is also a road that leads to the depth of your soul.
Maybe at the end of the road, there is a place that eases your exhaustion and embraces your sadness.
And at the end of the road, there is a place that offers warmth and soothes your spirit.
And also remember, this is always the place where you can lower your guard with your family um and when the train arrives and the breeze from your childhood blows once again and you know carrying the scent of your youth and the warmth of your home and in that moment I think we all realize that the road
home is the most beautiful scenery mmm well said and now I've got that old American countryside a song ringing in my head john denver yes take me home country road to the place i belong although there's no country road to take me but it just you know that warmth of feeling has been evoked by usual words
yeah and uh the audience of roundtable now i think is getting to know me a little bit better and i make a lot of jokes right and as we were doing our last segment we were making a lot of jokes oh avoiding family members but just kidding of course spending time with your family is it's precious isn't
it and we don't often get to do it and here in China and it's true in Canada as well you know my sister lives in Ottawa which is the capital which is hours away by flight from where my parents live in Nova Scotia and of course I live in China which is literally on the other side of the world so we don't
often get the opportunities to spend time with each other it's human nature to complain a little bit, isn't it?
I have to have that conversation with my uncle.
Yeah, that's human nature.
But at the same time, just remember how precious these moments are to get together.
Now, that's from the family point of view.
My Motivational Monday is about you personally.
Here's the quote. Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.
I don't know what...
You're the tech guy, Yushin.
Why is the advice for when tech goes wrong to just unplug the machine and then plug it back in again you need a little bit of time to restart i think yeah so what's true for electronics is huge is true for human beings too so if you if you are at the beginning of your holiday sitting with your family
members and you you're finding yourself thinking about your work project oh no well it happens if that's you then be mindful and tell your brain no I am unplugged for the next few days.
Your brain will need a reminder because your brain might still be in work mode when your body's on vacation so unplug yourself enjoy your time with your family members eat a lot of great food and really have a special holiday.
Yes have a very special holiday and I want to talk about holiday music today.
Because holiday music, it really has that magical way of lifting our spirits, whether it's Christmas classics such as Jingle Bell Rock, or my favorite, All I Want for Christmas is Sue, or the cheerful tunes of Chinese New Year.
I suppose for all of you who've visited the supermarket lately as you're preparing for your Nian Huo to get all these Chinese New Year's celebration -related goods and stuff, you've already been bombarded by Chinese New Year's music.
And it just makes you, well, kind of makes your head explode, but also shop.
And these songs just click with the season and bring people together.
Fill us with the joy and connection the holiday bring no matter where we are.
And today I want to share with you a classic 好運来.
Now, this is a song that brings the vibes, whether you're welcoming the Chinese New Year with your family or just wanting the holiday spirit.
This track is like the soundtrack to your good fortune.
And the lyrics are so simple, so catchy, so full of positive energy.
You'll find yourself singing Good luck coming your way Without even thinking about it It's basically a cue That life's about to get even better And this song actually was It originally debuted at Chunwan The Spring Festival Gala Produced by China Media Group In 2004 Wow Yep, so today I'd like to share that happy vibe
with you and get you prepared for the big holiday coming up.
So as we celebrate this Chinese New Year, let's embrace the good things coming our way.
Here's to love, luck, and all the good vibes in 2025.
Happy Chinese New Year, the year of the snake, everyone.
And that brings us to the end of today's show.
Thank you so much, Yu Xun and Steve Hatherly for joining the discussion.
I'm He Yang. Now enjoy the music.
We'll see you next time, huh?
