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Hey there.
If you've ever felt your confidence slip at work, you're not alone.
The good news, confidence isn't a fixed trait.
It's a skill.
And like any skill, you can build it with the right tools and practice.
I'm Anne Morris, CEO and bestselling author.
And together with my wife Frances Fry, a professor at Harvard Business School, we host the TED podcast Fixable.
This season, we're zeroing in on confidence what it really is, how to strengthen it and how to help others see you as the leader you already are.
So if you're ready to show up with more conviction, to get promoted, to lead with clarity, to do the best work of your career, join us on Fixable wherever you get your podcasts.
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Acast.com Hi, everyone.
Welcome back to Podcast and Chill.
I'm Gwen, here to give you some useful tips.
And I'm Leo, here to have a good time.
Leo, if happiness were money, you would be the richest person on Earth.
No way.
But I wasn't always a happy person, honestly.
I used to think negative thoughts all the time.
Really?
Really.
Bad thoughts were like my best friends back then.
So, how did you leave those friends?
I learned to change how I see life and everything around me.
Oh, that is exactly what we should talk about today.
How to be happy and positive every day.
And we're not going to make you change your thinking completely right away with long, boring tips.
Right?
We're here to help you slowly change how you look at life, step by step.
Before we get into that, make sure you check out the free PDF file in the description box below.
If you can't find it, leave a comment to let us know.
Please excuse us because sometimes we forget things too.
So now, let's get back to today's topic.
Before we talk about how, let's talk about what first.
What's positive thinking, Gwen?
People usually think about it as simple as this.
If you say you're a positive person, you must be happy all the time, or positive people never have bad days.
But that's not true at all.
I know, right?
It's totally wrong to think.
Happy people don't have bad days or live in some perfect world.
You might not want to hear this, but well, even the person with the biggest smile still has terrible days.
So, what makes a positive person different from a negative one?
What do you think, Leo?
Well, I think the answer is in how they deal with those bad times.
Exactly.
And when we say dealing with bad times…
We don't mean they don't cry when they get a bad grade or fail at work.
This is not a game to see who cries less.
Oh, great.
Because if it were, I would definitely lose first.
And I would fight you for last place.
But guys, even when Leo and I cry the most, we can still be the happiest people on Earth.
Why?
It's because we get up again after crying.
So true.
A positive person never lets bad feelings stay in their mind for too long.
No matter how terrible they feel, they always find a way to feel better again.
That's right.
Positive thinking is when someone can always get back up.
And think about good things instead of staying stuck with negative feelings.
How do we know this for sure?
Well, I'm speaking from my own experience.
I used to be a very moody person.
I once thought negative feelings were part of me, but then I realized they were not.
I could leave them behind and carry something else, something happier instead.
So, you just tried to think positively?
Yes, even when I was sad and angry.
But the important thing is, I knew I could choose how to react.
That's the right way to think about being positive.
It's not a special talent or superpower.
It's a choice.
Right.
You can't choose how life treats you, but you can choose how you react to it.
So friends, when was the last time you chose how to react, instead of letting negative feelings control you?
If your answer is, never, don't worry, we're here to help you change that.
To be frank, it's not quick and easy.
It might take time to learn and get good at this skill.
But do you remember what they say?
Practice makes perfect.
That's right.
You will start with small changes in your thinking.
Over time, you'll slowly learn how to stay positive during the darkest times and find hope again.
Now you might be worrying that it is such a bad idea to fight the big enemy named negativity with small changes.
Well, but you know what else they say?
Small but mighty.
Exactly.
It means even a tiny thing can hold big power.
For example, the power to change how you react to negativity.
So, now everyone, here are the six small tips to help you stay happy and positive.
First, think of happy things right after you wake up.
Scientists say that what you think about first in the morning affects your whole day.
So, if you want to feel good, start with good thoughts.
That's so true.
And if you're wondering how happy thoughts can make you happy, let's talk about how our body creates happiness.
Our bodies have some special things called hormones.
They control how we feel.
Among them are the sad ones and the happy ones.
When the sad ones wake up, we feel sad.
And if the happy ones wake up, we feel happy.
So, we have to wake up the happy hormones.
And happy thoughts can do that.
Now you know what to do, right?
Well, just a few short positive sentences are enough to wake up the happiness.
Yeah, like, wow, I wonder what cool things I'll do today.
If your brain refuses to work before coffee, it's fine.
In that case, you can keep sticky notes with positive messages like I can handle today, or Those words will remind yourself of happy thoughts right after you wake up.
Or if you're too lazy to think or put up sticky notes, no problem.
You can just take a deep breath and smile.
That will send a signal to your body and wake up those happy hormones.
Just remember to do one of these things before you touch your phone.
It's usually full of work notifications, to-do lists, plans, and all the bad news in the world.
You don't want any of that to decide how you'll feel throughout the day, do you?
Now that you know this first tip, what positive thought will you think of first tomorrow?
What's the next small tip to stay happy, Gwen?
It protects your energy.
Why?
Because without good energy, it's hard to be positive.
Protecting your energy is very important, even when it means saying no to people.
That's a good point.
Many people think a happy person will say yes to everything.
However, if you say yes when your heart is screaming no, you will get tired really fast.
Yeah, you should be clear about what you want and don't want.
If something is important to you, give it your time and energy.
If not, don't.
Like, you can turn off work notifications after work so they don't stress you out.
Or you can say no to going out on Friday night if you want to stay home instead.
And we get it.
Sometimes you say yes because you don't want to hurt other people's feelings.
But do they really want you to say yes if it might hurt you?
Of course not.
But they probably don't know you're not ready to say yes, so you have to tell them.
Say something like, I care about you, but I can't today.
I need some time to rest.
Trust us.
This will save you a lot of energy.
So, what are two things that usually use up your energy quickly?
Also, think about two things that help you recharge faster.
Me, I like taking a short nap and looking at the sky.
For me, I love doing some stretches and drinking water.
How about you, friends?
Tell us in the comments below.
The next small thing you can do to stay happy is the attention diet.
Diet sounds horrible, right?
But don't worry.
This diet only helps you get better.
That's right.
An attention diet means choosing what to pay attention to, just like choosing what food to eat.
You only have so much attention, so you should choose carefully.
Of course, it should be things that make you happy, not sad.
My friend Thomas needs this.
He can't focus for long.
He checks his phone every two or three minutes, even when he has no new messages.
Many people have that bad habit.
They do it without knowing.
It uses up their energy.
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And how do we act when we're tired?
Not very happy.
I know, right?
Checking your phone for work is one thing.
But if you check it just because you want to, without a good reason, you're taking in too much information.
Yeah, when you do that, your brain gets too full of information you don't need.
It's like eating too much junk food, which isn't good for you.
So, what you need is to clean up what goes into your brain.
Get rid of unnecessary things like push notifications.
Also, stop doom scrolling or spending too much time on the internet until you feel sad or worried.
You don't want to do that if you want to stay happy.
Happiness doesn't go well with gossip either.
You know, talking about other people's private business, especially negative things, wakes up the bad feelings instead of the good ones.
You won't have to delete all your social media accounts either.
Instead, you should set specific times during the day when you check them.
How about opening your phone now and turning off three unnecessary notifications?
They can be from Facebook, Instagram, or even your banking app.
Another good thing to do is to make a schedule for your brain.
For example, work or study for 25 minutes straight, then take a five-minute break, then repeat.
What's the next small thing one can do to stay happy, Gwen?
It's being thankful.
Oh right, you don't even need to be thankful for big things.
Being thankful for small things in your life is enough. think about it.
Maybe you're having a bad day and thinking everything is going wrong.
But when you think about some good things and feel thankful for them, you'll realize your life isn't as bad as you think.
Some people think being thankful is just forced happiness.
Actually, it's more like we try to forget the bad thoughts and focus on the good ones.
And those good ones are everywhere in our lives.
You woke up this morning.
That's something to be thankful for.
You can drink clean water when you want it.
You should be grateful for that, too.
So, how about you say out loud one good thing in your life right now?
It can be a song that makes you feel good, a text that says I love you, or just a cup of coffee that tastes perfect.
Why don't you pause for five seconds and think of something now?
Now, the fifth tip, you don't have to feel good to do good things.
Well, we know that sounds quite strange, but hear us out.
Right?
Many people think they need to wait until they feel happy before they can act positively.
But that's not true.
Your feelings go up and down all the time, which is normal.
But the things that matter to you can stay the same, which means you can still do them when you feel bad.
And why should I do that?
You might ask.
Well, those actions often make you feel better later.
People often mistake feelings that come before action.
But in fact, you should do the opposite.
For example, when I feel really low, I will clean my desk or drink some water, instead of waiting for the bad feeling to pass.
Those sound so simple, but they really work.
Remember those happy hormones we talked about earlier?
When you do something good, it helps wake them up.
Here's a quick exercise for you.
When you feel heavy or sad, ask yourself, what's one small meaningful thing I can do today?
Then do it right away.
And now, let's talk about the final small thing that helps you stay happy.
It's how you view happiness.
You know how we always think happiness has to be big and exciting?
Well, what if I told you that's not always true?
Right.
Sometimes, the most real happiness comes quietly and slowly.
Nobody sees it, but you can feel it inside.
After all, happiness is not about showing it to others.
It's about your own journey that only you know about.
I think society just loves making us believe that.
Happiness has to look like big success or bright, shiny moments.
You know, like getting promoted or having a perfect vacation.
But most real joy actually comes from very small, ordinary things.
Like a quiet afternoon reading a book or drinking hot tea while it's raining outside, or just having a day with no drama and no stress.
Those are the days that actually make us feel good inside.
The problem is, these moments aren't very shareable on social media.
So people think they don't matter, but they actually feed our happiness in a lasting way.
I remember last week I spent Sunday morning just sitting by my window, watching people walk by.
No phone, no plans, just quiet time.
It wasn't exciting, but I felt so peaceful.
See?
That's exactly what we mean.
Those happy hormones we talked about?
They love quiet moments like that just as much as big celebrations.
So friends, don't feel bad if your happiness looks different from what you see online.
Your quiet, private joy is real and important too.
It was really nice talking with you about how to stay happy, but now it's time to finish, friends.
Remember, bad days happen, but you can choose to feel better instead of staying sad.
And there are many small ways to do that.
In the morning, think about something good.
Say no when you need to protect your energy.
Try to spend less time on things that waste your attention.
And always be thankful, even for small things.
Don't forget your actions can also change how you feel.
And don't compare your happiness with other people's, because everyone's life and values are different.
Here's an easy practice you can do every day.
One happy thought in the morning, one sentence to protect your energy and one moment to be truly thankful.
If you keep doing this, being positive will become part of your daily life.
You won't need big things to feel happy.
You will see happiness is already around you.
That's right.
You don't need to smile all the time or show big success to prove you're positive.
Every small step is enough to keep you happy.
Whether you feel calmer, you sleep better, you worry less.
These are all signs of real happiness.
Happiness is not always big like fireworks.
Sometimes it is small and quiet, like a candle in a dark room.
But if you enjoy that small light, it can guide you far.
Thanks for spending time with us today.
I'm Gwen.
And I'm Leo.
See you in the next episode of Podcast and Chill.
Acast powers the world's best podcasts.
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