Hey everyone, Dan here with a question for you.
Have you ever celebrated a religious holiday at a fast food restaurant?
Well, that's what this week's reheat is all about.
In this episode, I spend the Jewish Sabbath at a Wendy's with a very welcoming group of seniors.
They tell me why this ritual is so important to them, what it means to them and also how they like their fries.
I think you're going to love it.
And, as always, if there's an episode of The Sporkful you want me to pull out of the deep freezer, send me an email or voice memo to hello at sporkfulcom.
Tell me your name, where you're from, what episode you want to hear, and why.
Thanks so much and Shabbat Shalom.
It's like a five-hour drive.
Where are we?
What are we doing here tonight?
We're here at Wendy's on Friday night at 6 o'clock.
It's an every Friday night event.
And what's the occasion that you observe every Friday night?
We come every Friday night to celebrate Shabbat.
Shabbat is the Jewish Sabbath.
It begins every Friday at sundown all around the world.
And it starts with a meal, Shabbat dinner.
You feel you're part of something that's 2,000 years old.
It really gives you a feeling of belonging.
It's a time-honored tradition for sure, but in all the years the Jews have been having Shabbat dinner, there's no record in the rabbinic texts of it ever happening at the fast food chain Wendy's.
Still, that became the weekly ritual for one group of seniors.
Nobody has to be here.
You don't feel like you have to go to temple.
You don't feel like you have to be at... People just come because they love it.
Today on The Sporkful, I travel to Palm Desert, California to join these seniors for Shabbat dinner at Wendy's.
And yes, this is the same group featured in the hit documentary, Wendy's Shabbat.
Have you had to sign any autographs yet?
Don't laugh.
We were walking out of the film festival in Atlanta.
Some woman came up and she asked me for my autograph.
I nearly fainted.
Come on now.
¶¶
This is The Sporkful.
It's not for foodies, it's for eaters.
I'm Dan Pashman.
Each week on our show, we obsess about food to learn more about people.
The film Wendy's Shabbat began as a side project, a short documentary directed by Rachel Myers that came out in 2018.
It was a major hit, getting featured at the Tribeca Film Festival, on the Today Show, and more.
It takes place in Palm Desert California, about two hours inland from LA, near where they do the Coachella Music Festival.
If that helps orient you young whippersnappers out there.
The singers in the film live in a huge gated community called Sun City 5000 Spanish colonial homes, most of which have one garage for cars and then a mini garage for a golf cart.
A few years back, I drove out from LA.
It was 103 in Palm Desert.
I arrived in the early afternoon.
I wanted to meet a few of the group's members before dinnertime.
First up, Roberta Mahler.
She features prominently in the documentary, in part because she's the grandmother of the filmmaker and in part because she's a character.
Her doorbell plays Hava Nagila.
That's a traditional Jewish folk song, typically sung at celebrations.
You must be Roberta.
Hi, how do you do?
Nice to meet you.
Likewise.
I want to hit your doorbell again and record the sound of it, because it's amazing.
All right, hold on.
Okay.
Hava Nagila That's the most Jewish thing I've ever heard, Roberta.
Well, this is a Jewish household.
Actually, the doorbell broke, and this thing, you can put about 45 different songs on it.
But my husband chose Hava Nagila.
What can I tell you?
A Jewish house is a Jewish house.
How was your ride out?
Roberta and her husband Jack were married for 57 years before he passed away more than a decade ago.
She says it took time to get used to socializing single.
As she puts it, it's a couple's world.
But a few years ago, some friends invited her to Shabbat dinner at Wendy's.
So I kind of looked at them.
I said, Wendy's, Shabbat?
Okay, we went up and the group is so friendly.
Everybody comes for the same thing, for the companionship.
And I guess for the hamburgers or the chicken or whatever.
Right.
What's your go-to order?
Do you have a go-to?
Go-to, either chicken nuggets or whatever I'm in the mood for doing.
Roberta says she doesn't have any special requests.
But in the documentary a Wendy's worker named Winston says a lot of the other folks in the group do.
It reminds me of my grandparents, because that's how they are when we go out to eat.
They order specifically.
That's how my grandparents, they want their stuff.
They want their things in a certain way.
I was curious to ask Roberta why that is.
Do you think that as people get older, they have more special requests at restaurants?
I think they get crotcheted.
Do you think, is it that as people get older, they get more opinionated?
They realize later in life that they like things a certain way?
Yes, they do.
But could it also be because I feel like as you get older, you also care less what other people think?
So you might be more willing to speak up.
Maybe you liked your food.
That's very true.
You know, you're correct.
As you get older, it just doesn't matter what other people think.
You do what you want to do.
You say what you want to say.
If they don't like it, oh, well.
I could say something else, but we'll say, oh, well.
So Roberta does what she wants.
And what she wants on Friday evenings is to go to Wendy's.
She grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family on Long Island, so Shabbat dinner was mandatory.
And while she and her husband weren't quite so strict with their kids, they continued the tradition.
If you don't instill something in your children, they have nothing.
And then when they get out into the world, they just, they spread their own wings.
But you've got to give them a base.
I don't care what it is Jewish Catholicism, Protestant Buddhism, whatever it is they have to be given something.
I don't know how you feel about that.
We are not especially religious in my home today.
I have two daughters, five and seven and a half.
And we're not especially religious, but we do Shabbat dinner almost every Friday night.
We do a couple quick blessings, and then it's really just a family dinner.
That's fine.
But doing it is an impression on the children.
Right.
Today, children are running here, people are taking, schlepping them, dancing, whatever it is.
And how often do they really ever sit down other than, as you say, observing Shabbat together as a family?
I said goodbye to Roberta for now.
So you're coming tonight, right?
Yes, sure.
All right.
Wouldn't miss one day's Shabbat, Friday night.
Besides that, we're leaving tomorrow.
I have a six o'clock flight to Portland, Oregon, so there's nothing in the refrigerator.
We've cleaned it out.
All right.
There was one other person I knew I had to see that afternoon, Lou Silberman.
In the documentary, he's the one in the group who seems most into food.
It's clear Lou does not just come to Wendy's Shabbat for the company.
I either have a son of Baconator and some well-done French fries.
Other times I'll have a baked potato with some chili, because I want to tell you something Wendy's chili is outstanding.
Yes, you heard correctly.
Along with his well-done fries, Lou often gets the Baconator.
Clearly, this Shabbat group, not so kosher.
Another reason I wanted to talk with him, he's the organizer of Wendy's Shabbat.
Every week he sends out an email to everyone to get a headcount, then calls Wendy's with the number so the folks at Wendy's can put a table together for them.
He also assigns one person in the group to bring dessert.
As I learned when I met him, Lou is the perfect guy for this job.
For decades, he worked in sales and marketing for the Mattel toy company.
He retired more than 20 years ago when he was 72 and says he quickly came to regret that decision.
He lost a big part of his purpose, the thing that drove him.
So in Palm Desert, as he and his wife Jerry, tell me, he's thrown himself into the Shabbat group and a lot more.
Lou's very active in the Heart Association.
Lou is a competitive swimmer.
Hi.
Joseph at the Palm Springs Air Museum.
I am an ambassador for the College of the Desert.
I am the membership chair of a club here on campus called the Music Buffs.
It has 1,300 members.
And I also am involved with the fifth largest tennis tournament on the planet.
That is the Indian Wells.
I think he's the oldest usher.
The oldest usher.
I am 92 and going strong.
Yeah, clearly.
And Jerry, what do you think it is about Lou's personality that he ends up in charge of everything?
Because he loves to be in charge of everything.
But of course, I don't always listen.
I'm an A-type.
Type A personality.
Yeah, super A-type.
Yeah.
I'm a control freak.
Right.
I was going to say that, but I didn't want it to be recorded that I said that.
But he is definitely a control freak.
But with good intentions and good purposes.
Yes.
I'm not saying it wasn't good.
Well, and I'm a control freak in many ways.
And, you know, the world needs a certain number of control freaks.
That's right.
Otherwise, nobody would ever make it to Shabbat dinner.
That's exactly right.
Just like you.
Another thing Lou likes to control that I can totally relate to is food order at Wendy's.
How do you order your fries?
Well done.
Oh, yes.
Tell me, let's talk about that.
Really?
I've come 3,000 miles to talk about well-done fries at Wendy's.
Well, if you don't get them well done, they're kind of soft and mushy.
Well-done French fries have a touch to them that just melts in your mouth.
Are they ever too well done for you?
No, not really.
So, Lou, at what point in your life did you start ordering your fries well done?
At Wendy's.
So for you.
If you had realized 50 years earlier that you liked your fries, well done.
Would you have been bashful about asking for them that way?
No, it was a delightful experience and having come to that decision 50 years too late.
Well, don't, you know, let's not look back with regret, Lou.
Let's be thankful that you lived long enough to realize how you like your French fries and enjoy them that way.
Yes, sir.
Before I leave, Lou informs me that he has a mission for me.
As you heard, each week he assigns one person to bring dessert.
But in classic Lou fashion, he leaves nothing to chance.
He wants to make sure there's enough dessert.
After all, he likes to have some extra for the workers at Wendy's.
And since this documentary came out, they have random visitors just showing up to join them.
So Lou brings backup dessert.
But he just had shoulder surgery, so he wouldn't be coming tonight.
With a solemn look and a twinkle in his eye, Lou hands me a paper plate covered in foil.
Since I'm not going, I'm going to take this earth plate for the youngsters in the back and I'm going to give them to you and you're going to walk over to the counter and say Hi, Lou sent these.
Okay, you got it.
Okay.
I'm honored that I've been entrusted with such a big responsibility.
Oh, it is?
Coming up, I meet up with the group for Shabbat dinner at Wendy's.
Stick around.
Ooh, advertisements.
Yummy.
Welcome back to another Sporkful Reheat.
I'm Dan Pashman.
A lot of times people want to ask me, like, oh, what are you cooking?
What restaurants are you going to?
They ask Emma and Andres and the whole Sporkful team the same questions.
Well, it turns out we provide a listener service to you that includes that information.
It's our newsletter.
We don't send it out all the time.
We're not going to spam you.
We're just going to send you useful information recipes, restaurant information, links to articles that we're reading, shows that we're watching.
And guess what else?
You'll be automatically entered into giveaways for cookbooks featured on the show as long as you live in the US or Canada.
That's also where I'll email you to tell you about like special sales happening on this Folini website, by discounts on pasta and stuff.
So there are a lot of benefits and you can sign up right now while you're listening.
Head on over to sporkful.com slash newsletter to sign up today.
Again, that's sporkful.com slash newsletter.
Thanks.
Now back to this week's reheat.
I should explain.
This whole Shabbat dinner and the documentary have no formal connection with Wendy's.
The restaurant declined to make their employees available for an interview with us for this episode, but the company does make some accommodations for the seniors.
As I mentioned, after Lou calls in with the head count, the workers there put a big table together in the middle of the restaurant ahead of time.
Wendy's also gives the seniors free soft drinks.
Beyond that though, the seniors just order off the menu like any other group.
After talking with Lou and Roberta, I headed to Wendy's.
Gotta grab the dessert Lou gave me.
As I mentioned, Lou couldn't make it.
He just had surgery.
Roberta would meet me there.
The Wendy's in Palm Desert is just off the highway in an upscale shopping area.
Palm trees here and there, in the distance, brown desert mountains.
Crossing the parking lot.
It's not easy to hold two mics, a recorder and a plate of desserts.
I'm learning.
But, you know, I'm glad I'm not coming empty-handed.
Inside, a bunch of tables have been pushed together to form one long table with about 20 or 25 seats.
There was already a group of seniors there chatting, waiting for more people to arrive.
First, I met one of the workers.
Hi, how are you?
Good.
I'm Dan.
Rafael.
Rafael.
Oh, sorry.
I'm holding my mic with my left hand.
Good to meet you.
Good to meet you, too.
Thanks for having me.
Oh, Rafael.
These are from Lou.
Oh, Lou.
Lou gave me these desserts.
He said you would know what to do with them.
Okay.
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hey, I'm Dan.
Hello, this is Dan.
Dan.
Sharon.
Sharon, nice to meet you.
Oh, you're the founder.
Well, I'm Sharon.
Sharon.
Sharon, do you mind if I ask you a couple quick questions?
Okay.
Tell me the story.
How did this come to be?
Well, we were sitting around in the summer months and at the pool and we didn't really have anything to do or anywhere to go.
And one Friday night I said, let's go to Wendy's.
And then we said, maybe we could have Shabbat here.
And so the husbands were embarrassed and said no and blah, blah, blah.
Husbands, is this true?
Yes, it's true.
What were you embarrassed about?
Doing Shabbat here.
Doing Shabbat with the candles and the whole thing.
What would be embarrassing about that?
It's Wendy's!
And as the weeks and months went on, more people started coming.
Members of the group kept filing in.
There were a lot of warm greetings.
Set out on the table were the sparkling grape juice challah, which is a traditional Jewish bread, and electric candles.
In addition to not being able to bring wine into Wendy's, the seniors can no longer light candles there.
You know, fire codes and such.
Before we could start the blessings, though, there was some important business to take care of.
Dan, if they want to find Sportful, how do they find Sportful?
Show me your phone.
I'll subscribe right now.
Absolutely.
I'll set you up to download the show like 10 million times.
My numbers will go through the roof.
It's going to be great.
No, I'm joking.
I won't do that to you.
Oh, all right.
Her cellular data has turned off her podcast.
I'll fix that for you.
There it is.
We found the podcast app.
This is turning into tech support.
This is going to be great.
This is going to be a great podcast.
Subscribed.
What's your name?
My name's Dan.
Dan?
Yeah.
You're very good looking, Dan.
Oh, thanks.
I appreciate it.
So are you.
Now it's the truth.
Oh, shucks.
I'm blushing.
No, you're not.
You have a beard.
I have to.
I'm the elder statesman, believe it or not.
Really?
I would not have guessed that.
I'm the oldest one in the group.
So you must be well into your 60s.
You're my new best friend.
Yeah.
Actually, I'm one of the original people that started this.
We are like a family now.
And some of us we've lost already from attrition and what have you.
But we stick together as much as we can.
At this point it was time to begin Shabbat dinner with three blessings one for Shabbat, then one over the wine and one over the bread.
Jewish people recite these blessings every Friday all over the world as the sun sets across the globe.
Now, at a Wendy's in Palm Desert, California, it was this group's turn.
Amen.
We give thanks to God for bread.
Our voices join in happy chorus as our prayer is humbly said.
That's it.
Now we all rush to the line, which Lou Silverman is always the first one in, and we get our food.
Lou's not here tonight.
Who's going to take his place?
We're ready.
That comes with a stampede, right?
It was a leisurely stampede.
The seniors settled back down at that long table with their food plastic trays pressed against each other, all in a row.
Some had salads, others had burgers or chicken nuggets or baked potatoes.
A lot of these folks see each other every week, but still it had the feeling of a reunion or a big family meal at the holidays.
I put in my order, cheeseburger and a chili cheese baked potato.
Growing up, my family would tailgate at a lot of New York Giants football games and sometimes we did chili cheese dogs in the parking lot.
And when we did, we'd always just go get a bunch of chili at Wendy's, put that on the hot dogs.
Also, why doesn't every restaurant have baked potatoes all the time?
After I finished eating, I checked in on Roberta at the other end of the table.
I had visited her in her home earlier in the day.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just need to ask Roberta a quick question about her meal.
What's your meal?
Roberta, I see your food has just arrived.
Walk me through your choice here.
This is intriguing.
I see a baked potato with what looks like a slice of American cheese melted on and then shredded cheese on top of that.
Is that right?
I don't know.
I didn't get it.
Debra did.
My daughter did.
Are you going to mix the chili and the potato?
Probably.
I don't want to tell you how to do Wendy's Shabbat or anything, but if you want to, maybe pour the chili on top.
It might help melt the cheese.
Oh, no, no.
No, I'm going to keep it, I'm going to be a purist with this.
Okay, all right, I'm not going to judge.
Okay.
At this point, I learned of one of the big perks of Shabbat at Wendy's.
Not only does Wendy's provide the seniors with free soft drinks, they also give them free mini ice creams.
Of course, that's in addition to the dessert the seniors bring themselves.
Do you do a swirl?
Is there a swirl option?
Vanilla chocolate?
I'll take that, yeah.
Sure, sure.
Thank you.
Now, a little pointer I'll give you guys.
You take your free ice cream here and you take the cookies that are passed out and you crumble your cookie into your free ice cream.
Yeah, I saw you doing that.
It looks very good.
You want me to make you one?
No, but I'll remember it next time.
Even better is they have the pecans, the candied pecans that they put in the salad.
If you put that in the ice cream, it's even better.
That is brilliant.
Have you done that, Bea?
Yeah.
Very shrewd.
You bet.
That's a takeaway for sportful listeners right there.
That is very good.
Candied pecans from the salad bar right into the ice cream.
Brilliant.
You bet.
As Bea and I enjoyed our ice cream, we talked about how her Shabbat dinners have changed over the years.
I'm not as observant because, having been raised in an Orthodox family, I had so many restrictions that I resented.
I hated because on Friday nights, when our family had Shabbat dinner, I couldn't go to the football games.
What would your parents think if they saw you here?
They'd turn over.
You know, whatever the reason, my parents were old-fashioned people and I had more don'ts than dos, and I have evolved.
Because you have to live in this world, in this century, and you know you have to roll with the punches.
You're a modern woman, Bea.
Yes, I am.
Shabbat dinner at Wendy's may not be how they did it in the Old Testament, but like Bea says, you gotta evolve, not just to live in this century but also to keep a tradition alive.
As I left Wendy's that night, I thought about Shabbat dinner and rituals from other religions and cultures that provide the same kind of structure in our lives.
One of the most powerful moments in the Wendy's Shabbat documentary is also one of the most mundane.
It's a part where Roberta talks about how she makes her bed every morning.
Earlier that day when I was at her house, I asked Roberta why making the bed is important to her.
It's a ritual.
I think a lot of people, as they get older, they kind of, a lot of them withdraw.
You don't get up and you don't get dressed and you don't make a bed.
You drag around the house.
To me, it's being, just following through the routine of everyday living.
And I think that for a lot of people of all different faiths, religious rituals are a part of that routine.
Definitely.
I feel that you have to have some sort of routine so that you don't go floating around.
You know this is what you do, this is part of your life, and this is what keeps you going.
Thank you.
My thanks to the folks at Wendy's in Palm Desert and to all the members of the Wendy's Shabbat group, especially Roberta Lou Bea and Sharon.
We taped this episode four years ago, so we recently called Roberta for an update.
She's doing well, as are Lou, Jerry, Sharon, and Bea.
But sadly the Wendy's Shabbat dinners mostly stopped with COVID and officially ended in June of this year.
A few of the members have passed away.
One woman turned 100 and decided she didn't want to drive at night anymore.
Roberta says, for what it was, it was the most wonderful thing.
Everybody loved it.
Roberta still has lunch with some of her Wendy's Shabbat friends once a week.
Lou turned 96 and still swims and plays golf.
And yes, Roberta still makes her bed every day.
The short documentary Wendy's Shabbat is directed by Rachel Myers.
It won all kinds of awards when it came out in 2018.
You can watch it now at PBS POV.
And to all the Jews out there, I'm wishing you a happy and sweet new year.
This episode was originally produced by Anne Sani, Aviva de Kornfeld and me and edited by Gianna Palmer.
Dan DeZula mixed the original.
Casey Holford mixed the update.
Until next time, I'm Dan Pashman.
And I'm Janae, in LA, reminding you to eat more, eat better, and eat more better.
This reheat was produced by Gianna Palmer.
The team that produces The Sporkful today includes me, along with managing producer Emma Morgenstern and senior producer Andres O'Hara.
Our engineer is Jared O'Connell.
Music help from Black Label Music.
The Sporkful is a production of SiriusXM Podcasts.
Our executive producer is Camille Stanley.
And hey, did you know you can listen to The Sporkful on the SiriusXM app?
Yes, the SiriusXM app.
It has all your favorite podcasts, plus over 200 ad-free music channels curated by genre and era, plus live sports coverage.
Does your podcasting app have that?
And there's interviews with A-list stars and so much more.
It's everything you want in a podcast app and music app all rolled into one.
And right now, Sporkful listeners can get three months free of the SiriusXM app by going to SiriusXMcom slash Sporkful.
Until next time, I'm Dan Pashman.
