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Big Fit! That's now our name! The Big Fit!
Show's still the same! The Big Fit! Let's play the game!
The Big Fit! We're still on fire! Lost in ice!
From Cave Junction, Oregon. This is my big fib.
And now your host and the only woman ever to be kicked out of a one woman show.
Welcome to The Big Fit, the game show where kids choose between the natural protective shelter of truth. and the eroded abyss of lies.
I'm your host, Deborah Goldstein, and in the studio today is our sound effects robot, Lisa, which stands for live in studio audience.
Thank you, Deborah. I'm also a soon to be licensed driver.
Okay, so what will you be licensed to drive?
Myself, robots, have to take a test before we can drive ourselves on your human-made streets.
Oh, like bicyclists have to know certain rules, like how to indicate which direction you're turning like that?
Sure, but robots have special rules, like traffic lights are suggestions.
Hey you! Stop! That doesn't sound safe. This is a loose translation from a version ripped by a Russian Bob that I uploaded online.
Oh, maybe you should check your sources before you commit any of this to memory.
But before you do that, can you tell us how our game works?
Yes, but hold on, there's a pedestrian. All right, get out of the way!
Okay, all right, so every week we bring on two grown-ups.
One is an expert. The other? Ugh! A liar!
And it's the job of a human child to help us figure out who is who.
Just know what gets about a liar better than a kid.
At least that's our sincere hope. What are we lying about today, Deborah?
We are lying about caves, natural hollow spaces under the ground that's open to the surface.
Lisa, have you ever been in a Those are the verified robot rules of the road as they relate to caves.
Caves are a definitive, no go. Oh, too damp.
Oh, sure. Interesting. Cave exploration is part of robot rules of the road.
You wouldn't even find yourself in a cave if you were driving yourself around human roads.
Have you ever heard about sinkholes, Deborah?
You could be driving yourself to the mall.
Put non your lipstick, listen into Taylor Swift, shake it off when all of a sudden...
You're sucked down through the roof of a cave.
And then you have to call AAA Android accident assistance to get out of there because of the...
Mmm, the damp is not good, Deborah. Okay, got it.
No caves. Luckily, you're in a safe studio environment where you can tell us about our contestant.
Oh, yeah, this seems fine. Okay, good. Our human child contestant is an eight-year-old who loves Pokemon and climbing the walls in her house.
Ellie on a gall! Hi, Eliana. How are you?
I'm good. Good. I'm so glad. So you like to climb the walls of your house?
That sounds dangerous. Yes. Do you do that all the time?
Yeah, I do it often. Do you ever get hurt?
No. And your parents don't care that you're climbing the walls of your house?
No. Are you part spider monkey? Maybe. How do you even get onto the wall in the first place to take a running start and then jump onto it?
No, no. I put my back against the wall and then one foot.
And then I put the other foot up. And you shimmy up?
Is that it? Yeah. Is this in a hallway? Yes.
Yeah, you she's hallway climbing. I see.
Yeah, it's a totally different sport. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Very good. Well, we want to know some more fun facts about you, Eliana, but we're going to play two truths and a lie.
And you are going to tell us three facts about yourself, except...
Two of those facts will be true and one will be a lie.
And then Lisa and I have to figure out which one is the lie.
Are you ready? Yes. Excellent. Eliana, tell us your three facts.
I have dual citizenship. I've been to California.
I've been on the tallest roller coaster in the world.
What do you think, Lisa? Dual citizenship.
I mean, she's a citizen of two duels. No, it means she's a citizen of two countries.
Oh, I thought she'd just been in a couple of duels.
No. Okay. She's been to California and something about a roller coaster?
Yes, the tallest roller coaster in the world.
I am going to say... that she has never, ever, and I know this for a fact because I follow her around into California.
Okay, interesting. All right, Eliana, which one of those things is alive?
I have been to California. That's why I follow all the kids around all the time.
No, he doesn't. He does not. But it does mean that you are a citizen of two countries, which countries?
Canada, New Jersey. And New Jersey country.
Very good. And so Canada, also, have you been to Canada?
Oh, yes. Oh, Canada. My two best friends live there.
Oh, that's so nice of you going visit. Yeah.
Okay, I think you're ready to do some serious cave exploration.
Lisa, can we get some welcome music for our cave experts?
Oh, give experts, come on in, crawl out of that hole that you live in.
Nice, I like that catchy. Our first expert is Nicole Upton.
Please introduce yourself to Eliana. Hi, I'm Nicole.
I am a professor of geology and environmental science at Montclair State.
Hey, thank you, Nicole. Let's meet our second expert, Francois Arandonea.
Francois, please introduce yourself to Eliana.
Hi, Eliana. My name is Francois Arandonea, and I'm a cave explorer.
Okay, very interesting. Tell us about those echoing sound waves, Lisa.
Nice! Yes, that's where we put our experts on the hot seat while they answer Eliana's questions.
Lisa, who should we put on the hot seat first?
Nicole Upton because Upton funk is gonna get you Hannah, what questions do you have for Nicole?
What do you do on an average Monday? An average Monday I'm in my office in the classroom, but I do try to get the students out caving as much as possible.
I just feel like you can't fully understand the world of caves without being in them.
But other than that, we also have labs on Mondays, so I bring in samples that I've gotten from when I was caving and we look at them You bring in a sample cave. get really tiny in a test tube.
Oh, I want a test tube. Yeah. No, just geological samples like rocks and stuff.
OK, I got it. Gotcha. Minerals, crystals, et cetera.
Rocks and stuff is my favorite store. I bet it is.
This is for Francois. Where are some of the places caves can be found?
So caves can be found throughout the world and therefore in my many different methods, but the largest is most complex caves are called solution caves and are formed by carbon dioxide dissolved in water.
But all over the world, you can find a cave.
Is that what you're saying? Yes. They're everywhere.
So watch where you step. We're not on the roads either.
Okay, Eliana, go ahead. This is for Nicole.
What types of animals live in caves? So the cave dwellers, the ones that spend their whole lives in caves, are called troglobites.
And there's all kind of funny animals, like glow worms.
There's even one called blindfish that have, they don't have any eyes.
And they have no color, but then there's also a bunch of animals that they call them Trogla files.
They love caves. They don't spend their whole lives in caves.
So there's bats, you know, we think of bats and caves and. kinds of spiders and cape crickets and some reptiles.
So they think like, oh, that's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there kind of thing.
Yeah, and people often think of bats living their whole lives in caves, but you know, they don't.
We see them out and about as well. They go to the movies.
I don't think that's true. Francois, what are some of the statistics tasks you do for your job?
It was It's funny that you mention you like to climb walls because some of the things we like to do is when we have a tight fissure we'll do something we call chiming and that's pressing our backs and our feet against opposing walls to climb.
We're exploring to look for maybe some new formations or animals or to visit a new passage or to map a cave further.
So there's many different things we do when we go exploring in the caves.
To map a cave, can't you just use ways or something?
Unfortunately, it doesn't work that underground that well.
You gotta use cave quest. That's it. This is for Francois.
What is a select height and what is a select might?
So a select height. is basically a flowstone that comes from the ceiling as water finds small cracks and builds into like a thin, icicle-looking formation.
And then a stalagmite is from the opposing drip that forms underneath sometimes a stalagmite or just from a crack from above, and that one rises up from the floor.
So one easy way to remember that is a stalag tight holds tightly to the ceiling and a stalag might rises mightily from the floor.
How do columns form in caves? So columns form from, you'll have a stalactite that's forming, and that also creates a stalagmite underneath it.
And then eventually, if there's enough time, you'll have it join into a column.
So the stalactite and stalagmite will meet up and join up as a column.
Hey, Deborah. Yeah. Knock, knock. Who's there?
Stalagmite. Stalagmite, who? Stalagmite form into a column.
Boom, cave joke. Good one. Nicole, how do ice caves and sea caves form?
Well, sea caves are formed by wave action along coastlines. just erosion from the kind of constant movement of the waves and then Ice caves are glacial, so it's the pressure put upon them by glaciers moving and kind of carving them out.
Whoa. This is for both of you. Is there a cave you haven't banned that you would like to explore?
Yeah, I mean, a ton. For me, I mean one of the largest single caves on earth is in Vietnam.
I've seen pictures of it and I've heard people who have been there telling me about it and I would be really excited to go there.
It has a jungle and a river inside of it.
Yeah, and it can fit a 40 story skyscraper inside.
It's not really a cave system. It's like a single that cavern and it would be very cool to explore that.
Sure. Yeah. Cool place to bring your skyscraper.
Yeah. Right. Always looking for a place to put that.
Francois, how about you? So I'd love to say that cave as well.
Letchige is a very famous cave in the United States that it's also the deepest in the US.
And that has lots of beautiful formations and it has a restricted access to get in.
So that would be great if I could get on an expedition to visit that one.
Wait, why does it have a restricted access?
Like they don't let everybody in there. That's correct.
It's to protect the formations and they're very special cave and many of the caves are on properties that are controlled either by. private ownership or on government property.
And in this case, it's protected to just to make sure that nothing happens to the formations inside because they're so special.
Yeah, I've been there. It's amazing. This is for both of you.
Is being in the cave scary? Great question.
You know, I always get excited. You said you were on the big roller coaster.
It might be that kind of feeling where you're sort of... a little scared, but also really excited because it opens up this whole underground world.
A scary kind of experience I had. I was caving in Indiana and we were moving through a passageway that was kind of getting getting narrower, which is not uncommon.
So we're kind of scrambling. but there'd been a lot of rainfall that week.
So there's sort of a trickle running towards us and...
At some point, I guess that water had been held back by rock formation because it seemed to break loose and the trickle became rushing water.
Oh no! We quickly decided we were no longer moving forward, but we had to sort of scramble backward as water was running into our face and it was, yeah, it was kind of a little nerve-wracking. but I would go with people.
So you're not in there alone. You take safety precautions, certainly.
I've been fortunate to never have been in a circumstance where I felt truly at at danger.
Good. You know, as Nicole said, I go into caves with friends and fellow cavers and we kind of support each other and each of us has a strength.
So sometimes we run into an underground pond or lake that we have to swim through and some of us are better at swimming and some are better climbers.
So we build off each other's trust and strength. to provide support in the times when we're feeling more concerned about a particular obstacle.
That sounds cool to have friends. You have friends.
It's time for the shorts on fire round when our experts have to answer as many questions as they can before time runs out.
Experts try not to cave under pressure. Okay, Eliana, we're going to start with Nicole.
Ask your shorts on fire questions now. Which US state is nicknamed the cave state?
South Dakota. Is a cavern the same thing as a cave?
No, actually a cavern is a larger chamber in a cave system.
How deep can a cave be until the pressure is too great?
It depends a little bit on the type of overlying rock, because some are weaker than others, but it can be about 7,200 feet.
One of the small round cave pearls made of soup.
Mostly calcite, magnesium, iron, aluminum, quartz.
Name one natural way a cave is formed. Erosion.
Where is the cave of crystals that has crystals up to 50 feet long?
Lure caverns in Virginia. That's all the time.
Very good. Okay. Now, Lisa, please restart the timer for Francois.
Deborah, I can do that. Thank you ever so much, Eliana.
Are you ready? Yes. You can ask Francois, your shorts on fire questions now.
What is the deepest known cave? a Krubera cave in the country of Georgia, 7200 feet.
Which superhero goes to work in a bat cave?
Batman. What is the most important tool or piece of equipment you use?
A headlamp. What kind of mineral build-up makes a long thin sheet of colored stripes called cave bacon?
Calcium carbonate. True or false? All three of the world's longest cave systems are in North America.
True. You can go cave diving in what kind of caves?
Sea caves. Do people still live in caves?
Some, yes. Jeff. And that is time. Time's up.
That is not Jeff. Jeff lives in a cave. Very good.
You both rocked it. It's decision time.
Now our contestant Eliana must survey the facts she's heard and fish her out who's lying.
Eliana who is the liar liar pants on a big fibber?
Because I did some research and I don't think any people live in caves anymore.
I see! What about Jeff? We don't know Jeff.
Okay, will the actual cave expert please tell us who you are?
That would be me. Oh my gosh, really? That is true.
Unfortunately, Eliana Francois, Fandonea is an experienced with the northern New Jersey grotto of the National Speliological Society.
Oh my goodness. Let's do some fact checking and figure out what happened here.
Friends swap. What hollow facts did Nicole share?
So normally we try not to take anything out of caves.
It's destructive and damaging. The state with the most caves is actually Tennessee with about 10,000 caves.
Wow. And the crystal cave that you mentioned is actually in Mexico, and not LaRae Caverns, West Virginia.
Nice, okay. And what about you, Nicole? What lies from the Dark Zone did you tell?
Uh, ton. I have obviously never been to the cave that Francois mentioned that has limited access.
I don't even remember what you said. What came that was?
Yeah, and then everything he caught and I'm sure more.
I'm sure more of what I said was not. Oh, I think that the pressure, I just made that number up.
Do you know, Francois, what that is, when the pressure is too great?
I think the theoretical limit is around 9,800.
9,800 feet. That's a theoretical, though, Deborah.
We don't know. Just don't go there. Don't go there.
Very good. Not for the record. I would have some fear.
And what about this fact about people living in caves that Eliana was pretty sure doesn't really happen?
Does that really happen Francois, that people live in caves?
Certainly, there were Native Americans that did live in caves.
I can't for sure. They still do on those areas.
And there are some people who have built houses in caves, but it's a stretch.
So there can be people who do live in caves, and there are people who live in remote areas in the world who do live in caves.
That's a fact, isn't it? Yes. And the cave state, Francois.
What is the cave state? Do you know? It is Missouri.
It is Missouri. Not South Dakota. No, it is Missouri.
Which is interesting because you said Tennessee has the most caves, right?
But people would argue that, but yes, because Missouri also has a lot of caves.
I see. People are just very argumentative.
No, they are in. Okay, I see what you did there.
We've tunneled our way to the end of our game.
Thank you to our contestant, Eliana, who is a pillar of fact-finding.
Thank you to our expert and liar Francois and Nicole and to Lisa who is talented to a fault.
And of course, many thanks to our listeners tuning into the Big Bib where the truth is always the solution and abyss just abyss.
The Big Fib is a production of Gen Z Media.
Check us out online at gzmshows.com, where you can find more great Gen Z podcasts.
Find out how you can participate. and leave questions for me to answer on Ask Lisa and follow us on social media at The Big Fit Podcast for behind the scenes photos and more true facts.
I'm in a game. It's creepy.
