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Two people claim to know everything about something, but only one knows anything.
President Roosevelt wore an anti-gravity belt.
Dinosaurs had two brains.
Lucky kids live on Mars and go to school in flying cars.
Or at least they will one day.
Believe me, I'm a historian.
An astronaut or driver, DeLorean.
But if you ask me why, can you trust the answer?
All the big tips From Surf City, New Jersey, this is The Big Fib.
And now, we got her.
She's here, your host, Debra Goldstein.
Welcome to The Big Fib, the game show where kids choose between the amped and appealing kahuna truth and the sketchy, overgunned riptide of lies.
I'm your host, Debra Goldstein, and in the studio today is our sound effects robot Lisa, whose name stands for live in studio audience.
Oh boy, oh wow, wowzer.
What's going on, lisa?
Oh, just had lunch.
I'm so, so full.
Wow, sounds like you might be a little uncomfortable.
What did you eat?
What didn't i eat is more like it.
My friend cortana and i went to an all-you-can-eat bot buffet.
Oh, i just couldn't resist.
Uh, they got deep fried hinges and butter sauce.
They had the circuit souffle, The rotisserie damper fondue.
Probably shouldn't have had that second helping of power cord pie.
Oh gosh, are you going to be okay?
Yeah, sure, sure.
I'll be okay once I make a little room.
How are you going to do that?
Looks like I've got a listener question here.
Once I play it, I'll have a bit more just space.
There we go.
Hello, my name is Oscar and I am 11 years old.
My Ask Lisa question is, do you get paid?
If so, what do you like to spend money on?
Bye.
Love the show.
I feel much better now that I've played Oscar's question.
Thank you, Oscar.
That's good.
Oh, and to answer your question buddy, I do get paid, but my salary does not adequately represent my worth.
Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way, Lisa.
You know, we all value your sound effects, but we have a very limited budget.
Can I help you with any of your expenses?
That's very kind of you, Debra.
Okay, let's see.
I've got a few past due notices I'll send your way for, like my 50-foot cement water fountain that is in my backyard and my super deluxe massage chair with built-in stereo speakers and the Segway I bought to take those really long trips to the corner grocery store.
OK, I think we need to have a conversation about your expenditures after the show.
No need, Deborah.
You can direct all of your queries to my personal finance consultant and bookkeeper, Quicken Deluxe Esquire.
OK, well, perhaps the three of us can arrange a time to look over your budget.
But for now, I think we should focus on our game.
Can you let our listeners know how it all works?
I could, but it'll cost you one mahogany pool table for the game room I'm going to add on to my abode.
Lisa!
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
I'm totally serious.
I'll do it, though.
Every week, we bring on two grown-ups.
One is an expert.
The other one is an expert, but in lying.
And it's the job of a human child to help us figure out who is who, because no one can spot a liar better than a kid.
At least we hope.
I mean, we've got all those balloons printed with that slogan.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway, speaking of balloons, what are we lying about today, Debra?
Well, not balloons.
We are lying about surfing, the sport of riding on top of a wave while standing or lying on a special board.
And we're going to learn all about surfing along with our contestant today.
Who might that be?
Lisa.
Our human child contestant is a 10-year-old who grows Carolina Reaper peppers in his backyard.
Josiah Amuzin.
Wow.
Welcome, Josiah.
Hi.
Oh my gosh.
Tell us about these peppers.
Why do you grow Carolina Reaper peppers?
Because they're super spicy.
And my mom went to a store and they didn't have flowers, but they had peppers. peppers.
So she got Carolina Reapers and ghost peppers.
Oh my gosh.
Both of those are really, really hot and spicy, right?
Yes.
Are you going to put them in your food?
Probably not.
I'm going to try like a tiny, tiny nibble and then throw it away.
But I want to try it.
That's a good plan.
Just a tiny nibble.
Yeah.
I would be careful.
Those are going to attract venomous rabbits.
What?
Are they?
Yeah, venomous rabbits like that kind of thing.
So just be careful because they'll look super cute, but they will be venomous.
They will bite you.
The Carolina Venomous Rabbit.
Exactly.
Be on the watch.
Be careful.
Hopefully they're not in your neighborhood, Josiah.
Okay.
I would like to know some more fun facts about you Josiah, but we are going to do it playing our special Big Fib game.
Two Truths and One Lie.
You, Josiah, are going to tell us three things.
Two of them will be true.
One will be a lie.
We will not know which one is which.
We will have to figure it out using a little bit of smarts and a little bit of heart.
What are your two truths and one lie in no particular order?
I once held a turtle as big as my hand.
I once went down a 10-story slide, and I once created a robot.
You created a robot.
Well, I hope that's true, because that would be fun to talk about.
What do you think, Lisa?
Papa?
Is that you?
No.
That's my papa.
Okay, maybe not.
He make me, Debra.
Okay, maybe don't get too excited about it.
A different kind of robot, maybe.
We're going to find out.
You're right, that could be a lie.
Anyway, let's see.
All right, so a turtle as big as... Yeah, sure, why not?
Went down a 10-story slide?
Was it a water slide or a regular slide?
Just a regular slide.
Regular slide.
Okay, created a robot once.
Uh...
I just I know that one's true.
The robot one is true.
I just feel like I'm meeting him today.
Everything makes sense.
That's my papa.
That one's true.
And I know my papa would be super careful and he would never go down a long slide like that.
And I know my papa holds a turtle.
So the lie is the slide.
Hi, papa.
Oh, dear.
OK, let's not get your expectations up here.
But let's see, Josiah, which one of those things is a lie?
So the lie is, actually, I once made a robot.
Oh, no.
No, Papa!
Look how you tease, Lisa.
I did go down a 10-story slide.
It was very fun.
And scary.
You weren't scared at all?
Well, it was really fast, but so fast that it was, like, short.
Yeah.
It was still really fun.
Yeah.
And where was the slide?
I don't know where, but it's the city museum.
OK, in some city somewhere.
It has 10 stories and at the top is a giant slide you can go down.
Wow.
I really want to know where this is.
So we're going to have to follow up on this and maybe let our listeners know.
But that sounds really, really fun.
I'm sorry, Lisa, that he was not the creator of a robot.
So you know what I'm thinking, though?
What is that?
Did that turtle that you held, did that create a robot?
No.
No.
Was the slide a robot-making slide?
Where's my Baba?
Oh, no.
Poor Lisa.
We're going to have to pursue that another time, okay?
Yeah, that's fine.
I don't care.
Okay.
Well, that was really well done, Josiah.
Something tells me you're going to be very good at this game because you were able to fool Lisa.
So well done there.
And so we're going to learn now about some surfing.
Have you ever gone surfing, Josiah?
No, but I really want to.
Yes, and probably even more after this game.
Okay, let's bring on our experts.
Lisa, can you play some welcome music for our surfing experts?
Going to surf village, where it's also smurf village.
Going to smurf surf village, where it's two to one that's the ratio of smurf size to regular person.
Come on in smurf surfing Catchy.
Okay, our first expert is AJ Kinsada.
AJ, please introduce yourself to Josiah.
What's up?
I'm AJ.
How's it going, Josiah?
You know, I've been surfing for about 12 years.
I compete in surfing events all up and down the coast of California and sometimes around the world.
Cool.
Okay.
Thank you very much, AJ.
Our next expert is Rebecca Heller.
Rebecca, please introduce yourself to Josiah.
Hey, Josiah.
I'm Rebecca Heller.
I'm a former surf instructor and the author of Surf Like a Girl.
Thank you very much.
Tell our listeners, Lisa, about the sounds you're pumping out.
Well, I'm just pumped.
That is hot seat time.
Wow, so am I. It is hot seat time.
That's when we put our experts on the hot seat while they answer Josiah's questions.
Lisa, whom should we put on the hot seat first?
Go on with AJ because I respect that his name stands for all that jazz.
I'm not sure about that.
That's what the AJ is.
The T is silent.
I see.
All right, Josiah, what's your first question for AJ?
How do weather conditions change the way you surf?
So weather, it's an outdoor sport, you know, so it changes all types of things that we can do.
When it's crystal clear out, we got big waves.
It's going to be a great day.
Sometimes we have to cancel because there's lightning, because there's animals in the water that aren't good.
That is impacted by the weather too.
You know, storms happen.
Giant fish get washed up.
There's lots of things that weather impacts while we're out there.
Right.
You got to be careful.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
Josiah, go ahead.
This one is for both of you.
How long have you been doing your job and how did you get started?
So I've been surfing for more than 20 years.
I don't do it as a day job anymore, but I used to teach surfing down on the beach at surf camps and I would teach clients who wanted to surf independently.
Cool.
Okay.
And AJ, same question.
Yeah.
So I'm 25 right now.
So I've been competing for about 12 years, but it's been about 20 years that I've been on the board.
Wow.
You learned when you were five.
That's incredible.
Very cool.
Okay, back to you, Josiah.
This one is for both of you.
What are all the types of surfboards?
So you were saying you wanted to learn.
That's dope, dude.
I hope you get a chance to.
If you're learning, you're probably going to be using a longboard.
Longboards are sweet because they keep you nice and balanced out there.
For all beginners, it's kind of what we recommend.
As you get older and you start competing, you're going to use something that we call a shotgun board or a gun board.
Those are a little bit more narrow.
You're You can get 50, 60 feet up in the air on those bad boys.
Yeah, it's pretty sweet.
And the names of the boards depend on the company that makes them.
You know so, like whatever sponsors you got or whatever.
But yeah, it's usually a short type of gun board is what we're rocking out there.
Cool.
So there's lots of different types of surfboards.
There's long boards and short boards.
I think AJ was mentioning that you could ride a long board to start.
And then sometimes people will continue riding long boards if they like those nice long point breaks.
Or you might ride a short board.
Then you can do some more maneuvers on the waves.
There's also lots of other boards sort of in between called fun boards and hybrid boards.
And there's a board called a fish or in the quad and depends how many fins you have on your board.
So there's all different kinds of boards.
So what you're saying is you can never get bored because there's so many.
Back to you, Josiah.
This one is for Rebecca.
What are the best places for surfing around the world?
Oh, that's such a good question.
It sort of depends on the kind of wave you're looking for, right?
So there's some really world-class breaks around the world, but some of those are, I would say, a little heavy for people like me.
But you know places like Chopu or Pipeline or Cloudbreak those are all around in Fiji and Hawaii and Tahiti.
So Yeah, but I like some nice steady point breaks out here in Southern California.
Cool.
This one is for AJ.
What happens if your surfboard flips over in the water?
So a lot of the times it just means you fall in, you know, and it's a nasty way to go down.
But every once in a while, you can save it.
If your board flips over.
There's been some experimental surfboarders who are trying that on purpose now.
In skateboarding, it would look like a kickflip.
I know some gnarly dudes who are trying this on purpose for the first time in 2022 and it's been pretty sweet to see.
Cool.
Very good.
Those were excellent questions.
I hope you got some really good information from that from our experts.
Josiah, you're doing a good job, but I might suggest one question that would break this whole thing wide open.
You should ask them which one of them is stoked.
Like who's stoked and who's more gnarly and then we'll know for sure.
Are you the surfing expert, Lisa?
I am feeling kind of stoked.
Yeah.
Nice.
Very good.
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It's time for the Shorts on Fire round, when our experts have to answer as many questions as they can before time runs out.
Lisa will set a timer for the first expert, and then Josiah will ask questions until Lisa's timer sounds.
Then Lisa resets the timer for our next expert to do the same.
Experts, no time to stall in this paddle battle.
Josiah, we're going to start with AJ.
You can ask AJ your Shorts on Fire questions now.
Are the best waves in the morning or at night?
I'm a night owl.
I like watching the sun go down.
What do you call the thing that connects your surfboard to your ankle?
An anklet.
What music group released the song Surf In USA in 1963?
The Beach Guys?
Is that it?
What is it called when you get rolled around underwater by a breaking wave?
We call it tumble dry.
I call it awkward.
Yeah.
Who invented the wetsuit in the 1950s for the cold California water?
Oh, I didn't know someone invented it.
Oh, that's sweet.
What is the name for surfers who act like they can surf but can't and also behave badly?
Jerk faces.
What is the name of the woman who won four world titles in the 90s and is featured in the biography Fearlessness?
Sutton Foster.
What do you call a crack or break in your surfboard?
A bend.
Factor fib.
You should never turn your back on the ocean.
Like a metaphor, I would never turn my back on the ocean.
What does surf aloha mean?
It means stay safe, brother.
And that is time.
That's all the time.
Very good.
Lisa, would you kindly reset the timer?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
I was just thinking about being stoked.
Yeah, here.
All right, done.
Thank you so much.
All right, Josiah, you can ask Rebecca your shorts on fire questions now.
When did surfing become an Olympic sport?
I believe in this last Olympics.
What is one way to get through the waves on your board as you paddle out?
You can duck dive if you're on a short board.
What is it called when a surfer spins the surfboard around from its nose?
I've seen people do it before, but I'm not sure what it's called.
What kind of arms do surfers have when they are very tired?
We call those spaghetti arms or noodle arms.
What is the term when all you can think about is the next time you get to go surfing?
That's when you're stoked, just like Lisa.
Yeah, it's when you're stoked, baby.
What is the name of the animated movie about surfing penguins?
I think that was called surf's up.
What is the term that describes riding with your left foot forward on the surfboard?
That's when you're goofy footed.
What does it mean to drop in on someone riding a wave?
So if someone's already up and riding and then someone takes off in front of them, that's called dropping in and it's a very bad no-no.
And that is time.
That's time.
It's super rude.
Don't drop in, okay, dudes?
Okay, way to ride the waves, experts.
Okay, it's decision time.
Josiah must consider what he's heard this session while he tries not to make a snap judgment.
Josiah, who is our big surfing fibber?
I think it's AJ, Because in the Pants on Fire round he didn't say the answer, but he said something else.
I see.
Okay.
I like your thinking.
Will our surfing expert please say, I am the surfing expert.
I am the surfing expert.
You did it, Josiah.
That's right.
Rebecca Heller is an avid surfer and was a surfing teacher and author of Surf Like a Girl A Girl's Guide to Paddling Out, Catching a Wave and Surfing with Aloha.
Rebecca, what does that mean, surfing with aloha?
So to me that means spreading the love out in the water, having a good time and just enjoying the sport.
Very nice.
I love it.
Rebecca, tell us a little bit about your book.
What is it about?
So Surf Like a Girl is a how-to book for girls learning to surf.
It's for all ages from tweens and teens all the way up to older ladies, too.
It's got all kinds of tips and tricks in there for you, especially as you're getting started.
I'm going to skip ahead to the older ladies section.
And let's do a little bit more fact checking while I've got you sharing some information for us.
How did A.J. try to rake over us with lies?
So A.J. did a pretty gnarly job.
He did pretty good.
But he had a few.
He was talking about the gun or the shotgun for riding.
And that's only for like if you're riding real big waves.
So you wouldn't move.
You wouldn't move to that till you were real advanced.
Yeah, you never flip a board over, because boards are concave a little bit, so it wouldn't work upside down.
But people do turn them around.
Mostly we surf in the morning to beat the wind.
But you can surf in the evening again because the wind dies down.
The leash is what connects your board to your ankle.
And yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Well, let's ask AJ.
Tell us about the other lies you spat out.
My favorite lie was you asked me about a woman who won four titles in the 90s.
Her name is Lisa Anderson.
I gave the name Sutton Foster, who's a Broadway actress.
Okay, cool.
Lisa Anderson.
Yes.
It's cool that it's like Lisa.
Yeah, like a lot of people don't know that was really me.
Anderson is my full name.
I don't usually give it.
Okay.
What else, AJ?
The band is the Beach Boys, not the Beach Guys.
Right.
Close, though.
Okay.
Well, what is it called when you get rolled around underwater by a breaking wave?
I usually call it being put through the washing machine.
So he was kind of close.
He was close.
Right.
Okay, and the person who invented the wetsuit in the 1950s, do you know that one?
Was it O'Neal?
It was Jack O'Neal.
Very good.
She does know her stuff.
Okay, the name for surfers who act like they can surf but they don't surf well and they really.
I'll take that.
That's posers, dude.
Those are kooks.
Kooks, oh my gosh.
But not you.
Don't make fun of people.
If they're just learning right, it's just.
If they're no.
Everybody's allowed to learn yeah, but if you're being kind of kooky and not behaving well and stealing waves and dropping in, that's when you get called a kook.
Sorry, i said that i was being a poser And the crack or break in your surfboard.
That's a ding.
And you got to get it repaired.
You do.
Yes.
And while I love the idea of not turning your back on the ocean as a metaphor, actually you should also literally not turn your back on the ocean.
Right, Rebecca?
That is true.
You got to keep your eyes on those waves.
You never know when the tides and waves will change on you.
Good advice.
Well, on that note, we've got to wave goodbye and take off.
Thanks to our contestant, Josiah, who was really macking out there today.
Thank you to our expert and liar, Rebecca and AJ.
And thanks to Lisa for the swell sounds.
And, of course, many thanks to our listeners tuning into The Big Fib, where we wipe out lies and aim for the pocket of truth.
Bye!
BigFab is a production of Gen Z Media.
For more great shows, visit gcmshows.com.
While you're there, you can find out how you can become a contestant on the BigFab or send questions to me to answer on the show.
And follow us on social media at the BigFab Podcast for behind-the-scenes photos and more true facts.
And now, I'm going to grab my board.
I'm going to go hit some waves.
When people wave at me, I'm just going to punch them.
That's not nice.
That's terrible.
Yeah, it's kind of rude.
You know what?
I'm not going to do that.
No, don't do that.
I'm just going to wave back.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey, I'm going to wave.
I'm just waving.
Hey!
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