Hi friends, it's Cheryl and welcome to Sleep Tight Relax.
You're safe here in your cozy spot tonight.
Take a moment to snuggle in.
Maybe pull your blanket up just right and let your whole body settle in.
In this episode, we are going to visit the Relax Rangers again.
We learned square breathing with Bear, body scanning with Mouse, visualization with Dream Deer and muscle melting with Calm Cat.
Then we saw Bear use all those skills together for his first day worries, and Mouse use them when feeling sad about Chipmunk moving away.
We are going to visit Calm Cat again, but cats facing something different, something a lot of us struggle with.
That voice in our head that says you're not good enough or you're going to mess up and everyone will see.
That voice sounds really confident and really sure, but actually, it's just fear talking.
It's your brain trying to protect you from feeling embarrassed or making mistakes.
And when that self-doubt voice gets loud, it doesn't just stay in your head.
It shows up in your body too.
Your stomach might feel tight and uncomfortable.
Your hands might get shaky.
Your heart might start racing like you're running. even though you're standing still.
You might feel like you want to hide or run away or make yourself as small as possible.
Tonight, Calm Cat is facing this exact thing.
She's been invited to demonstrate stretching and movement at the Forest Wellness Gathering, which is this big event where animals from all over the forest come to learn about staying healthy.
It should be exciting, right?
Calm Cat loves stretching and movement, but she keeps looking at the other animals who will be demonstrating, like Swift Deer, who can leap so gracefully, and Strong Badger, who's so powerful.
And that mean voice keeps saying, you're not as good as them.
Everyone will see you're just pretending to know what you're doing.
And calm cats going to learn that our relaxed ranger skills work for self-doubt too.
Body scanning helps us notice when comparison thoughts are making our bodies tight.
Square breathing helps us calm that racing heart and shaky feeling.
Muscle melting releases the tension that comes from trying to make ourselves small.
And visualization?
That's huge for confidence.
Because we can practice imagining ourselves succeeding instead of only imagining failure.
Let's try something quick.
Think of a time when you had to do something in front of other people.
Maybe read aloud in class or try out for a team or perform in some way.
Can you remember that tight, nervous, I'm not good enough feeling?
Now, take one square breath with me.
In for four, two, three, four.
Hold for four, two, three, four.
Out for four, two, three, four.
Hold for four, two, three, four.
Did that tight feeling soften just a little?
That's your nervous system getting the message.
You're safe, even when you feel nervous.
Calm Cat is going to learn that confidence doesn't mean having no doubts.
It means having the tools to manage those doubts so you can do the brave thing anyway.
Now, if you are ready, let's start calm.
Calm Cat's big performance.
Calm Cat is in the middle of morning stretches in the sunny clearing where she practices every day.
The movements flow smoothly, one into the next.
Reach up tall toward the sky.
Fold forward gently.
Arch back with a soft stretch.
Everything feels natural and easy, like breathing.
As Cat finishes, Wise Owl glides down from the oak tree and lands on a nearby fence post.
Good morning, Cat, Owl says warmly.
I have something to ask you.
Calm Cat Curious asks, What is it?
You know the forest wellness gathering that happens next week?
The big event where we teach animals about staying healthy and feeling good in their bodies?
Cat nods.
The wellness gathering is a big deal.
Animals come from all over the forest to learn new things.
Well...
Owl continues, we'd like you to demonstrate gentle movement and stretching techniques.
We think you'd be perfect for it.
Calm Cat's eyes widen.
Really?
You want me?
Absolutely, Owl says.
You have such a beautiful, accessible way of moving.
It would help so many animals who want to learn.
For a moment, Calm Cat feels a burst of excitement.
Me!
They picked me!
But then a thought creeps in, quiet at first.
Who else is demonstrating? she asks slowly.
Oh, it's a wonderful group, Owl says, not noticing the change in Cat's voice.
Swift Deer is showing athletic leaps and bounds.
Strong Badger is demonstrating power positions.
Flexible Fox is doing those amazing bendy movements.
And we wanted you for the gentle, everyday stretches that anyone can do.
Calm Cat doesn't feel quite as excited now.
Swift Deer?
Strong Badger?
Flexible fox.
All the most impressive, most talented animals in the forest.
And me?
Cat thinks, looking down at those ordinary paws.
Just regular old me?
Calm Cat's stomach suddenly feels kind of jittery and uncomfortable.
Her body's tight instead of relaxed.
Her heart beats a little faster.
So what do you say?
Owl asks cheerfully.
Will you do it?
Calm Cat wants to say no.
Wants to make up an excuse.
But instead, she hears a small voice.
Her own voice say, um, okay, I guess.
Owl flies off delighted, leaving Calm Cat standing alone in the clearing, feeling worried and full of doubt.
For the rest of the afternoon, Calm Cat finds reasons to wander past the places where the other demonstrators are practicing.
First, she spots Swift Deer in the meadow. practicing some incredible leaps.
Deer runs, springs into the air and soars, absolutely soars, before landing perfectly on graceful hooves.
Again and again, each leap higher and more beautiful than the last.
Calm Cat watches and thinks, I could never do that. not in a million years.
A little while later, she passes by the rocky area where Strong Badger practices.
Badger is holding a difficult position balanced on two paws, the whole body perfectly still and controlled, muscles rippling with strength, not even trembling, just powerful and steady and impressive.
Calm Cat's own paws suddenly feel weak and wobbly just watching.
And then on the way back to the clearing, she sees Flexible Fox near the old willow tree.
Fox is bending and twisting in ways that don't seem possible.
Back arched so far the nose nearly touches the tail, then folding forward until completely flat.
Calm Cat stops walking and just stares.
How does Fox even do that?
Back in the clearing, Calm Cat tries to practice the demonstration.
But now...
Every movement feels wrong.
That gentle morning stretch that usually feels so natural, now it seems stiff and awkward.
The flowing movements she loves, they feel too slow, too boring, not impressive at all.
Calm Cat tries a bigger stretch, trying to reach higher like Swift Deer's leap.
But it just looks silly.
A cat trying to be a deer.
Calm Cat attempts to hold a strong position like Badger.
But those cat legs start shaking after just a few seconds.
Why would anybody want to watch me, she mutters, stopping mid-stretch and sitting down heavily.
I'm not fast like Swift Deer.
I'm not strong like Badger.
I'm not flexible like Fox.
I'm just ordinary, regular, nothing special.
Calm Cat's stomach is tied in knots now.
The movements that felt peaceful and natural this morning now feel completely wrong.
Like she's been doing everything incorrectly this whole time and just didn't know it until seeing the real experts.
Maybe I should just tell Owl I can't, Calm Cat whispers to no one.
Make up some excuse.
Say I'm sick that day or something.
Anything would be better than standing up there and showing everyone how not special I am.
Just as Calm Cat is about to head home, feeling completely defeated, Dream Deer appears on the path that leads to the clearing.
Cat?
Dream Deer approaches slowly.
You okay?
You look different.
Calm Cat's shoulders are slumped, ears drooping, tail dragging on the ground.
Nothing like her usual calm, graceful presence.
Calm Cat lets out a long sigh.
I got invited to demonstrate at the Forest Wellness Gathering.
That's wonderful!
Dream Deer's whole face lights up.
You're so good at gentle movement and... But so is everyone else, Calm Cat interrupts, voice flat.
Better than me, actually.
I spent the afternoon watching Swift Deer and Strong Badger and Flexible Fox and I just I don't belong with them.
They're amazing and I'm just... ordinary.
Dream Deer sits down slowly and something shifts in those kind eyes.
Recognition.
Understanding.
Understanding.
Oh, Cat, Dream Deer says softly, you're doing that thing, aren't you?
That thing where you look at everyone else's best stuff and compare it to your worst stuff?
Calm Cat looks up surprised.
What?
You're watching Swift Deer, a deer's absolute best, doing the exact thing deer's been practicing for years and years.
And you're comparing that to yourself, trying to do deer's things.
But nobody asked you to be Swift Deer.
They asked you to be Calm Cat.
Cat blinks.
But Swift Deer is so much better at... At being swift?
Dream Deer finishes gently.
Yeah, Swift Deer is excellent at being swift.
And you know what?
You're excellent at being calm cat.
Those are just different things.
Calm cat's ears twitch slightly.
What do you mean?
Dream deer settles more comfortably on the grass.
I used to do this all the time.
I'd create these amazing visualizations in my mind and then I'd think but Breath Bear is better at this and Mindful Mouse is better at that.
So why would anyone listen to me?
And you know what I finally learned?
What?
Comparison is like, it's like trying to compare a river to a mountain. and deciding one is better.
They're just different things.
Both beautiful, both valuable, but completely different.
Calm Cat looks down at those ordinary paws.
But what if I get up there and mess up?
What if I can't do the movements right because I'm too nervous?
What if everyone watches Swift Deer's incredible leaps and then sees my boring stretches and thinks, why is Comcat even here?
Dream Deer tilts that elegant head thoughtfully.
Are those real worries about what might actually happen?
Or is that the mean comparison voice making up scary stories to keep you from trying?
Calm Cat pauses, really thinking about it.
I... I don't know.
Maybe both?
You know what might help?
Dream Deer asks.
Figuring out which thoughts are real and which are just that mean voice being loud.
And maybe using some of our relaxed ranger skills to quiet it down so you can hear what you actually think about all this.
Calm Cat looks at Dream Deer with a tiny spark of hope.
You think the skills would work for this?
For feeling not good enough?
I know they do, Dream Deer says simply.
Want to try?
Calm Cat takes a shaky breath and nods.
Dream Deer settles in comfortably on the grass.
Okay, let's start with what you know best.
Noticing what's happening in your body.
Body scanning.
But we're looking for where the self-doubt is living.
Calm Cat nods and closes her eyes.
Where do you feel that I'm not good enough feeling?
Dream Deer asks gently.
Calm Cat scans slowly, paying attention the way Mindful Mouse taught.
My stomach is really tight, like it's tied in knots.
My paws feel shaky, unstable.
My shoulders are hunched way up near my ears, and my heart is beating really fast.
Like I'm running, even though I'm just sitting here.
That could be comparison and self-doubt living in your body, Dream Deer says.
All those tight, shaky, racing feelings.
Now, let's try breathing into those places.
Square breathing.
Sending the breath right to your tight stomach and shaky paws.
They breathe together.
In for four.
Hold for four.
Out for four.
Hold for four.
Calm Cat focuses on sending each breath to that knotted stomach, those uncertain paws.
After several rounds, Calm Cat opens her eyes.
The shakiness is a little less.
My heart's not racing quite so much.
But the thoughts are still there.
All those, you're not good enough, everyone's better than you, thoughts.
Right, Dream Deer says.
Because breathing helps your body calm down.
But we need something else for those comparison thoughts.
And this is where I can really help.
Calm Cat looks at Dream Deer curiously.
You're imagining yourself failing, right?
Messing up the demonstration, everyone judging you, being obviously not as good as the others?
Calm Cat nods miserably.
Okay, Dream Deer says.
So, you're already using visualization.
You're just visualizing the worst possible outcome.
What if we practiced imagining something different?
Not perfect, just you doing your thing in your way.
I don't know if I can, Calm Cat says quietly.
Let's try together.
Close your eyes again and keep doing square breathing while we do this.
It helps.
Calm Cat closes her eyes and starts breathing.
In for four.
Hold for four.
Out for four.
Hold for four.
Picture yourself at the wellness gathering.
Dream Deer guides gently.
You're in the demonstration area.
But you're not trying to leap like Swift Deer or hold power positions like Strong Badger.
You're showing your specialty.
Gentle, accessible stretches that anyone can do.
The movements that make bodies feel good, not just look impressive.
Calm Cat breathes and tries to see it.
I can...
I can sort of see it.
Who's watching?
Dream Deer asks.
Calm Cat imagines the crowd.
Lots of animals.
Young ones who are just learning.
Older ones who can't do big jumps anymore.
Some who look nervous about trying new things.
And why are they watching you instead of just Swift Deer or Strong Badger?
Calm cat breathes, imagines, and something shifts.
Because, because they want to learn movements they can actually do.
Not just watch someone do impossible things.
They want something gentle, something achievable.
Her voice gets a little stronger.
They're watching me because I'm showing them something they can take home and use.
Not something to admire from far away, but something real.
There you go, Dream Deer says softly.
That's the real calm cat.
Not trying to be Swift Deer or Strong Badger or Flexible Fox.
Just being calm cat.
And that's exactly who they invited.
I still feel nervous, she admits.
Good, Dream Deer says.
Nervous is normal.
But do you feel like you can't do it?
Or do you feel like you can do it even though you're nervous?
Calm Cat takes a breath and thinks.
The second one, maybe?
Maybe?
That's confidence, Dream Deer says with a smile.
Not having no doubts, just having tools to manage them.
The day of the forest wellness gathering arrives bright and clear.
The meadow is packed with animals from all over the forest, young and old, small and large, all gathered to learn.
Calm Cat arrives early, and immediately that doubt voice tries to get loud again.
Look at all these animals.
They're all going to be watching you, comparing you to the others.
But Calm Cat catches the thought this time.
Takes a breath.
In for four.
Hold for four.
Out for four.
Hold for four.
That's the mean voice, Calm Cat whispers.
Not the truth.
Swift Deer demonstrates first.
Spectacular leaps and bounds that make the crowd gasp with amazement.
The comparison thought starts immediately.
See?
You can't do that.
Calm Cat notices and breathes into it.
Swift Deer does deer's things beautifully.
I'm about to do Calm Cat's thing.
Another square breath.
Strong Badger goes next.
The doubt whispers, everyone will be disappointed after watching that.
Calm Cat does a quick body scan, notices the shoulders creeping up toward the ears and gently lets them drop.
Breathes.
Strong Badger's strength is amazing.
My gentleness is different.
Both matter.
Then it's Calm Cat's turn.
She walks to the demonstration area and the nervousness is definitely still there.
The stomach still has butterflies.
Those paws still feel a little shaky.
But Calm Cat did.
The visualization practice with Dream Deer has imagined this moment going well dozens of times.
Calm Cat begins with the simplest stretch, a gentle morning reach toward the sky.
Nothing fancy, nothing impressive, just accessible easy, something anyone watching could try right now.
And then something amazing happens.
The animals start stretching along.
The elderly rabbit in the front row lifts arthritic paws slowly upward.
The young squirrel copies the movement, giggling.
A mother bird stretches her wings.
Even strong badger Watching from the side after that powerful demonstration, takes a moment to just stretch gently.
Calm Cat notices them joining in and starts to feel happy and more confident.
This is working.
She continues through the demonstration.
A forward fold that anyone can modify.
A gentle twist, a simple side stretch.
Nothing spectacular.
But the whole meadow is moving together now.
Breathing together, stretching together.
When calm cat finishes, the applause is warm and genuine.
And then a small mouse approaches shyly, looking up at her with big eyes.
Thank you, the mouse says quietly.
I can't do the big jumps or the hard positions yet.
My body doesn't work that way.
But I can do those stretches.
They made me feel really good.
Calm Cat looks down at this tiny mouse and thinks, I do have something to offer, just as I am.
Not in spite of being ordinary, but because of it.
You're welcome, she says, and means it all the way through.
If you are still awake, I would like you to think about something you have to do, maybe at school or in sports or with friends, where you sometimes feel like you're not as good as others.
Doesn't have to be a big thing.
Do you notice what happens in your mind?
Does it start comparing?
They're better at this than me.
Everyone will notice I'm not as good.
Just notice those thoughts.
Don't believe them or fight them.
Just see them for what they are.
The comparison voice trying to protect you from embarrassment.
Now notice what happens in your body when those thoughts get loud.
Does your stomach get tight?
Do your hands get shaky?
Does your heart race?
Where does the I'm not good enough feeling live in your body?
Let's do what Calm Cat learned.
Start with a body scan of those uncomfortable feelings.
Just notice where self-doubt is tight or shaky in your body.
Just notice.
Now let's breathe into those places.
Square breathing, sending the breath to wherever you found that not good enough feeling.
In for four, breath going to your tight stomach or shaky hands or racing heart.
Two, three, four.
Hold for four.
The breath sitting with the nervousness not fighting it.
Two, three, four.
Out for four.
Releasing some of that tightness.
Two, three, four.
Hold for four.
Peaceful and steady.
Two, three, four.
One more round.
In for four, two, three, four.
Hold for four, two, three, four.
Out for four, two, three, four.
Hold for four, two, three, four.
Next we're going to practice imagining yourself doing the thing you're nervous about, but we're imagining it going well.
Not perfect, just well.
Just you doing your thing.
Close your eyes if that's comfortable.
Keep breathing steadily.
Picture yourself in that situation. the one where you sometimes feel not good enough.
But this time, instead of imagining all the ways it could go wrong, we're practicing imagining it going okay.
See yourself there, breathing calmly.
You're not trying to be someone else or do it exactly like someone else does it.
You're just being you. doing your best.
Maybe you make a small mistake.
That's normal.
Everyone does.
But you handle it.
You keep going.
The people around you, they're not judging you as harshly as you fear.
Most of them are focused on their own stuff anyway.
Some might even appreciate what you're offering, just like those animals appreciated calm cats', gentle stretches.
Picture it ending okay.
Not perfectly, but okay.
You did the thing.
You showed up.
You were yourself.
How does that feel different than imagining failure?
Keep breathing.
In for four.
Hold for four.
Out for four.
Hold for four.
You just practiced building confidence, not by becoming perfect, but by imagining yourself succeeding as you.
By managing the doubt voice instead of letting it take over completely.
Now, as you drift towards sleep, let's remember what we learned together.
When the comparison voice gets loud, notice it.
Recognize it as your brain trying to protect you.
But you don't have to believe everything it says.
Other people's strengths don't cancel out yours.
We're all offering different things.
And different is not the same as worse.
Confidence doesn't mean having no doubts.
It means doing the things even when doubts are there.
Like Calm Cat demonstrating gentle stretches even while watching other animals do spectacular things.
Nobody is asking you to be somebody else.
They're asking you to be you.
And that's enough.
Tomorrow brings new chances to practice confidence.
When comparison thoughts come and they will, because everyone has them you have the tools to quiet them down and hear your own voice instead.
Take a deep breath and let your body settle down into your cozy spot.
Feel the breath moving in and out, steady and sure.
You are enough, exactly as you are.
You have gifts to share, just by being yourself.
You are capable.
You are brave.
You are growing stronger every day.
You are calm relaxed and peaceful.
Good night.
Sleep tight.
Thank you.
