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We're all out of the ordinary.
Today, Mama Gemma and I got to meet one of the cutest baby animals ever Choo-Choo, the little live pet's baby panda.
Oh, and Choo-Choo's so sweet.
He makes the cutest sounds, just like a real baby panda.
That's right.
With over 50 sounds and reactions.
Choo-Choo giggles, coos and even kicks his tiny feet when you feed him with his bamboo feeding stick.
And after his snack, you can place him on the potty.
He does a little potty dance, kick, kick, kick, and then he goes poo.
Oh, it's so funny.
But don't worry, when he's done, you can flush it away for repeat play.
Choo Choo loves to be tickled and rocked to sleep.
If you cuddle him close, he'll drift right off, just like a real baby panda.
Feed him, love him, care for him, and Choo Choo will quickly become your most cherished little best friend.
He's the baby panda I never knew I needed.
Grown-ups, help your kids nurture their nurturing side.
Bring home joy with Little Live Pets My Baby Panda Choo Choo.
Available at all major retailers.
What if kittens break the glass?
We welcome you to What If World.
Hey there folks, and welcome back to What If World, the show where your questions and ideas inspire off-the-cuff stories.
I'm Mr Eric, your host, and today we're starting off with a question from a kid whose name I could not understand.
You'll hear, but I know they have a sibling named Georgie.
They both called in questions, so let's just listen to this awesome idea.
My name is Tristan, and I live in Petit-Tinby, Switzerland.
And I'm 10 years old, and I like animals.
And my latest question is, what if instead of real school, you had swim school?
And what if you had school at night?
Bye.
Oh, swim school at night.
I actually really, really love swimming.
I am neurodiverse, and it helps my whole body feel relaxed.
So sign me up for nighttime swim school, please.
Then we've got a related question from a listener named Callie.
Hi, my name is Callie.
I'm five years old.
And my question is, what if there was a school at night where you learn about monsters?
Let's say goodbye.
Goodbye!
As you might imagine, Callie is an expert at noises and also left us many cool monster noises, which I'll try to sprinkle throughout the episode where appropriate.
Finally we've got a question from Kristen, and oh boy, did I want to answer this question last year when it was sent in, so I'm excited we get to hear it now.
Hi, Mr. Eric.
My name is Kristen, and I really like Pixie Cotto.
She's my favorite character, and she deserves more screen time, I guess, in those podcasts.
My question is, what if Pixie Cotto was starting middle school, but she was left behind because everyone was having questions, and she wasn't?
That's what I'm going through right now.
I've been listening to your podcast for a long time and you really helped me through most of the things I was going through.
Bye.
What a very thoughtful question, and probably one that many of us can empathize with.
So Kristen, Callie, and our mystery questioner, let's find out.
Hold the phone, Mr. Eric!
Oh, Fred!
Are you here for shoutouts?
Just one very special super shoutout for Hamilton, age 8.
They are all very special and super to me.
Okay, we know.
Hamilton says his favorite character is me, Fred the Dog, and that he likes making games and animations on Scratch.
Oh, how do I love a good scratch, too?
Actually, scratch is like a programming language for kids.
No, scratching is what you do on my belly and behind my ear, and you're not doing it right now.
Oh, excuse me.
Well, thank you very much, Hamilton.
Now let's find out what if, instead of real school, you had swim school at night, where you learned about monsters?
And what if Pixicato was starting middle school, but felt left behind?
Because everyone was having questions, and she wasn't.
Your story starts after a quick break.
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Pixicato, as some of you may know, was the pixie daughter of of Farrelly's and Sprite, Allwright making her one of What, If World's most prominent fairy folk.
And that was before she woke up one day to discover that she had been made acting president in Cthunkle's absence.
Now, if you've never listened to What If World before, you might not know that Cthunkle is a colossal squidopus and horror from beyond the universe who was voted president of What If World by our listeners in a landslide victory.
Last fall.
Huh.
Since then, it's been a wild ride.
But Gathunkle has been gone for a lot of it.
Traveling the multiverse.
And along the way, learning to be a better squidipus.
Or at least, we hope.
But that left a lot of responsibility on young Pixie Catto's shoulders.
And let's not forget that she got her magic braces the exact same day.
Of course, she's gotten used to those.
And even uses them as her magic wand.
But the governing, What If?
World part?
Okay, so I was just thinking what if we had all the monsters wear a tag or something that says that they're monsters?
That way they're easier to track down when they do evil monster stuff, said Alabaster Zero, one of What If World's most prominent and sometimes problematic detectives.
Hmm, considered Pixie Cato. floating beside her kitchen table while eating her morning cereal.
I guess that isn't much different than someone wearing a tag with their pronouns.
Exactly, said Alabaster Zero, though he had no idea what she was talking about.
Maybe we can color code the monster tags, making them a dark red depending on how dangerous the monster is.
That way you'll know how fast to run away.
Well... And how loud to scream.
Alabaster, said Feralise rather testily.
She was mother to Pixie Catto and a detective partner to Alabaster.
She'd smoothed over many of his rough edges over the years, but she was beginning to rethink having him over for breakfast.
I think we have had enough stories about you wrongfully accusing monsters of crimes, said Feralise.
Shoving a lunch into Pixie Catto's backpack, with more force than was strictly necessary.
No, you're right, of course, that's all behind me.
But you know, if I knew someone was a Medusa per se or a Gorgon or a Basilisk, then if someone else was turned to stone, you might just like save me a few steps in my investigation.
All right, all right, said sprite.
All right, pixie cato's mom.
We're done discussing this.
Pixie cato has been doing a great job of running what if world without your creative ideas.
Thank you, i think, Mother.
Mommy, it sounds as if you do not like Alabaster's idea, said Pixie Cato, trying to raise an eyebrow as she'd often seen her detective mother do, but she hadn't quite got the hang of it.
That is very observant, Pixie Cato.
Now you need only ask the right questions, and I believe you would come to agree with me.
And just what are the right questions?
Finding the questions is half the fun.
You were going to say that.
It's also what helps a detective to keep improving.
Well, good thing I am a president and not a detective, said Pixie Cato taking her cereal bowl to the sink.
Well, then I got news for you today, sweetheart.
You are neither, said Sprite-O-Right.
Pardon, dear mummy.
We've been letting you run, What If World, for several months now.
But Kristen's What If?
Question reminded us that you have yet to attend a single day of school this year.
You're in trouble.
But I am halfway through middle school.
Surely I know enough to be president.
By some people's standards, maybe.
But not by ours.
You can let Mr. Mouser handle your presidential duties for the day.
But, Mother... While you go to night school.
But...
Mother?
Yeah, I'm confused by that part too.
Since you two seem to think you know everything about monsters, you're going to monster school.
At night.
On the other side of what-if world.
Waiter, time zone's a thing here.
And with a snap of Sprite-O-Right's fingers Pixie, Cat-O and Alabaster Zero found themselves in front of of the cleo castle.
It was the near pitch black of night, but the glow of the moon and a few faintly flickering lanterns lit the castle before them, which was covered in spider webs and crawling vines, its tall towers obscured by gray clouds squeaking with bats on the hunt, and also curiously, the castle appeared to be half submerged.
I'd call it half dry, but then again, I'm an optimist.
Yes, the Cleo Castle appeared to have sunk halfway into a swamp since the last time Pixie Cat-O visited.
Cleo Catra herself prowled at the entrance, surrounded by a bubble of air, allowing her to climb from ledge to ledge and gargoyle to gargoyle without wetting a whisker.
Cleocatra.
What has happened to your castle?
Asked Pixie Catto, just as Cleocatra flung herself at a giant catfish which quickly swam away.
Why don't you come in? said Cleocatra, self-proclaimed queen of the cats.
For our swim school is also our monster school, and both happen at night.
Ugh!
Since about half of What If World's monsters are aquatic or semi-aquatic, your castle adapts to make it more hospitable to them.
Something like that.
Fortunately, my magic tiara keeps me dry and allows me to float where I please.
Fascinating.
I'd love to study such a wondrous item.
But an ominous bell sounded, interrupting the pixie.
Are we late for glass? asked Alabaster.
And with a regal nod, Cleocatra gestured with a fluffy paw, inviting them into the murky pool once more.
I really wanted to learn that keep-yourself-dry spell first, but You can't learn about monsters without getting in the muck, apparently.
Alabaster Zero rather pointlessly rolled up his pant legs.
What's pointless about it?
And as he did so, he fell into the murky pond, getting entirely soaked.
Oh, right, right.
I think I shall just fly above it all and observe.
That's what detectives do, right?
Probably.
Spooky monster noises echoed and bubbled through the half-sunken halls of the Cleo Castle.
Vines heavy with water and slime dripped and squished and sometimes turned out to be tentacles.
Hey, let me go.
But I'm just trying to take you to your class.
Said Cthunkle, that colossal squidapus we told you about.
You're back, Cthunkle?
I've been back and forth a few times, I think.
It's hard to keep track.
Then why are you not running What If World?
Because I have more to learn about being the best monster I can be.
And apparently, so do you.
Hey, we're not monsters.
Well, I'm technically a magical creature, but since I appear mostly human, most people don't Think of you as a monster.
Must be nice.
Oh.
Come now.
To the inky black depths.
Uh, just one problem.
Yes?
I can't see in inky black depths.
I can't breathe water, I'm not a strong swimmer and I think I might need like 16 vaccinations if any of that water gets in my mouth.
That's several problems.
I think they're all related.
Fortunately, they can all be solved with my magical stick on gills.
And how exactly do these stick on gills work?
I was just about to ask them magic now put them on already.
And goth uncle held out one of his octopus arms, which held some Slimy pinkish-red stickers.
Just put one on each neck, and you'll be completely at home in the murk and mire.
Completely at home sounds a bit presumptuous, but let's give it a whirl.
The two of them stuck on their gills, and... A villule.
Squiggly is a nice way to put it.
The two of them saw each other's skin become a mottled green and their eyes turned into solid black orbs.
And their hair... Actually, Mr. Eric, that's quite enough description of my transformation.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Then do me, do me.
Alabaster's hair then turned into strands of sticky seaweed which had hooked suction cups on one side.
Are these, like, seaweed monster tentacles?
I don't know.
Probably.
The gills affect everyone differently.
Ah, that's the extra late bet.
Oh no.
Which is exactly when we're supposed to show up for monster school.
Then isn't it really just like the on-time bell?
Great question.
We call it the extra late bell.
I am so confused.
You'll get it, Pixie Catto.
Just keep asking those detective questions.
Have I asked any detective questions yet?
Well, that one was one, I think.
This time there was no helping it.
Pixie Catto, who now looked sort of like a cross between a pixie and a swamp monster.
Don't need to be reminded.
Yes, of course.
Pixie Catto, an alabaster, followed Cthunkle to the classroom.
An eerie candelabra hung, shedding green ethereal light through a ghostly ballroom.
Sunken spirits in ragged clothes seemed to dance with grasping vines.
Werewolves with stick-on gills, howled at orb-like moonfish that floated by.
And at the center of it all, barely contained by the mass of space, floated.
It is I, Dracomax!
Oh, not this again, said Alabaster Zero.
What's the problem?
Asked Cthunkle.
You, me, and Dracomax can't be in scenes together.
And why is that?
Asked Dracomax.
Just listen to us.
We're basically the same guy.
I don't hear it.
I mean, all you gotta do is add Shark Gator and no one's gonna be able to-.
Did someone call my name?
Oh, this is rather confusing.
According to whom?
Said Cthunkle.
Yes, we all look very different, said Dracomax.
But we don't sound different enough, said Alabaster.
Of course we do, said Shark Gator.
My voice is more robot-y.
Oh, is that because you're half robot, half shark, half gator?
What kind of question is that?
The right kind of question. said Dracomax.
Because figuring out our differences and our sameses will help us be the best monsters we can be said Dracomax.
I'm listening, said Sharkgator, who is a giant megalodon alligator robot.
And yes, there wasn't a lot of room for everyone to swim around in this ballroom anymore.
How can you use chalk underwater?
Oh, that is a good question.
Magic!
Oh, of course.
Why didn't I think of that?
Makes total sense.
And Dracomax swam up to the ceiling and, with his tiny piece of chalk held in his enormous talons, wrote on the board slash ceiling.
I gave up my gold.
That is the title of my monster seminar.
I just think there's been a little confusion.
I am not a monster, and I do not have any gold.
And that's when Cleocatra swam in, or floated in her perfectly pristine bubble of air.
My dear, this is a school for all and also a giant scratching post for me.
She said, scratching on a mossy stone pillar.
Yes, your school is very accommodating to monsters, even if it makes all the normal creatures feel uncomfortable.
Um, hey, Big Cigarro, what do you mean by normal?
Oh, I just mean... Having only five limbs rather than an infinite amount?
Asked Cthunkle.
Oh, do heads count as limbs?
Being tiny and lacking scales?
Asked Dracomax.
Well, many of us are tiny and lacking in scale.
Having all of your original parts?
Oh, um, I don't know.
And she really didn't.
But all of the creatures in this murky ballroom had their eyes turned upon her.
Well, those who had eyes.
And what she saw there was hurt and sadness and weariness and anger.
But also openness.
And curiosity.
And was that a twinkle in Cthunkle's murky eye?
One of the six he had at this moment.
May I ask all of you a question?
Said Pixie Cato meekly.
Of course, Pixie Cato.
It is the questions that bring us together.
Um, I clearly have no idea what normal is.
So what do you think it is?
Normal. is eating some fish while other fish clean my body.
What?
No.
Normal is swimming in gold until you give it all up and start swimming in gold-painted wood chips instead.
You fools.
Normal is being a billion years old and eating dead universes for breakfast.
Actually normal is having your vampire cat sleep on your face every night and eat all your raspberries.
I am a cat, and that does not sound normal to me.
Could it be that normal is an inherently flawed idea of what an individual considers safe and comfortable, but what might not have any bearing upon what is actually safe and comfortable within the wide world?
Fair, probably.
And now that Pixie Caddo had started, she had so many questions.
May I please ask another question in addition to this question that I am currently asking, and possibly several more?
Said Pixie Caddo feeling her mind.
Push and stretch and expand with a thousand new ideas at once.
Hmm, is this feeling in my head caused by the stick-on gills?
Uh, ooh, not sure.
Yes, we should possibly take you to the nurse.
Also, my hands just turned into two baby elephants.
Could that be related?
Okay, let's put a pin in this before you mutate into unrecognizable blobs of flesh.
Mutate into what now?
Mr. Eric, say the end.
No, Mr. Eric, I think we should hear the end to this question.
The end.
I am acting the president.
How dare you?
Callie.
Kristen, and our listener, whose name I couldn't quite tell but has a sibling named Georgie.
Thank you so much for your questions.
I hope you all enjoyed your story.
And don't worry, Pixicato and Alabaster Zero will be better than fine.
Unless, of course, one of your what-if questions says otherwise.
Kids, do you think it would be fair to make monsters wear tags?
What kind of problems could that make for them?
What do you think?
Pixie Catto's aquatic transformation looked like.
Maybe you could draw a picture of it.
And finally, can you think of a time when you saw someone doing something that seemed very strange but seemed very normal to them?
Does it still seem strange to you now?
Talk it over with your grown-up.
Maybe it'll inspire your next what-if question.
Then you can get your grown-up's permission to email your ideas and artwork to hello at whatifworldpodcastcom.
I'd like to thank Karen O'Keefe, my co-creator, my producer, Miss Lynn Craig Martinson for our theme song, and all you kids at home who know that it takes courage to ask questions.
But that's how we all keep learning.
So until we meet again, keep wondering.
Today, Mama Gemma and I got to meet one of the cutest baby animals ever Choo-Choo, the little live pet's baby panda.
Oh, and Choo-Choo's so sweet.
He makes the cutest sounds, just like a real baby panda.
That's right.
With over 50 sounds and reactions.
Choo-Choo giggles, coos and even kicks his tiny feet when you feed him with his bamboo feeding stick.
And after his snack, you can place him on the potty.
He does a little potty dance, kick, kick, kick, and then he goes poo.
Oh, it's so funny.
But don't worry, when he's done, you can flush it away for repeat play.
Choo Choo loves to be tickled and rocked to sleep.
If you cuddle him close, he'll drift right off, just like a real baby panda.
Feed him, love him, care for him, and Choo Choo will quickly become your most cherished little best friend.
He's the baby panda I never knew I needed.
Grownups, help your kids nurture their nurturing side.
Bring home joy with Little Live Pets My Baby Panda Choo Choo.
Available at all major retailers.
