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Hi everyone, it's Rosie.
I'm so excited to introduce therapy by headspace we know finding the right therapist can be overwhelming so we've made it easier now you can connect with a licensed therapist directly in the headspace app for as low as zero dollars with insurance between sessions you'll have access to headspace's mental health tools from guided meditations to ebb our empathetic ai companion.
To celebrate, we're dedicating this week on Radio Headspace to therapy.
You'll hear from some of the most influential voices in the mental health space, experts who are helping reshape how we think about care, connection, and healing.
I hope you find it meaningful.
you hi i'm dr jenna glover welcome to radio headspace and a monday morning i'm so excited because i'll be guest hosting all week to celebrate pride as someone who's part of the lgbtq plus community this week is really special to me and to so many others so let's get into it first a little about me i'm a psychologist at headspace space, and I specialize in something called dialectical behavior therapy.
Essentially, I help people understand how two opposite ideas can be true at once.
For example, you know how it's bad to be on your phone all the time, but TikTok is really fun?
That's dialectical thinking.
It helps us be more flexible, so we can adapt to what life throws at us.
So what does this mental flexibility have to do with pride?
It can help members of the LGBTQ plus community, and honestly everyone, navigate a complicated and non -binary world.
You can feel othered but part of a community.
You can disagree deeply with your family and still love them.
It's about approaching life with a more delicate and nuanced perspective.
So today I'm going to break down this concept a little further and discuss how it can improve our mental health and society in general, which I know sounds dramatic, but it's true.
Now there's a real danger in our thinking patterns which often default into thinking in extremes.
As therapists, we call this black and white or all or nothing thinking.
And it's when we see things as completely being one way and we are unable to acknowledge that they can be any other way.
One of the things I commonly hear in my work with individuals is I'm unlovable or people just can't be trusted.
And those are examples of all or nothing thinking.
They don't provide options for other ways to see oneself.
And what that does is limit the quantity and quality of our choices.
It reduces how we can cope with the world.
And dialectical thinking is one of the anecdotes to these thinking traps.
One of the most important times that I ever utilized dialectical thinking was when I came out.
I took about seven years from the time I realized that I was gay before I was able to share that with my family.
And unfortunately, the religion that we were a part of is not accepting of LGBTQ plus individuals.
And my parents weren't able to be initially accepting of me.
And I felt very isolated from them.
And at the same time, I knew that they loved me.
I was very angry for a long time about how they initially responded to me coming out.
And a few months into the process, I had this insight from kind of a dialectical standpoint where, wow, it took me seven years to accept myself.
It's going to take my family a minute to get there.
I can be hurt that my family isn't able to accept me and my family can still love me.
And so for me, dialectical thinking became one of the primary ways that I was able to steady myself and care for myself as I went through the coming out process and navigating people's responses, who some were wonderful and some weren't there yet.
So there are a lot of different ways that we can integrate dialectical thinking into our life.
and one of the ways that you can start doing this is simply by removing a couple of things from your language.
Remove the words should, always, never, and but.
Removing always and never helps us create more flexibility.
Instead of my partner never listens to me, sometimes my partner forgets to listen.
This changes and softens the way that I approach my relationship.
Taking away the word should empowers you to be future focused on what you can control.
role. If my kids should be more grateful, I change that statement to, I want to work on my kids saying thank you more often.
And then finally, but is such an unnecessary term in the English language.
You know, you are a wonderful person, but when you act this way, it's frustrating for me.
Instead, use the word and.
The core of dialectics is both and.
You are a wonderful person and when you act this way it's frustrating for me.
Both can be true at the same time.
Dialectical thinking can be a really important and powerful tool for those in the LGBTQ plus community especially during Pride.
There are so many things to be grateful for and to celebrate.
Currently I am married to the woman I love, I have wonderful children, I have people who accept me in my family and at work.
And 15 years ago, I didn't think any of those things were possible.
So the amount of progress that our community has made in the last 30 years is truly remarkable.
And at the same time, every single day in this nation, there are different laws that are being proposed that are threatening our right to be seen, our right to health care, our right to safety.
And so during Pride Month, I think it's important to see the dialectic.
We have come further than any of us could ever have imagined.
imagine. We're loved and supported by millions of people, and we're still not there yet.
There's still work to be done.
There's still people in our community who need to be loved and seen and embraced, and I think going into pride with that balance helps us embrace the joy and see the future in hope instead of getting mired in despair and anger.
That's it for me today.
Tomorrow I'll talk about how dialectical thinking can help us through life's most difficult moments and how I've used it in my own life.
Thanks for listening, and I'll see you back here soon.
