Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here.
Today we have a very special bonus episode for you featuring another new story that was written by the entire Story Pirates Creator Club.
Last month, our Creator Club story was about a famous movie director and the theme continues this month with a story about a famous author.
the famous author of the great nonfiction masterpiece, The Great Fart of 1900.
Coming up after a few words for the grown -ups.
I'm very different from everybody.
Confusion is the step before curiosity.
Okay, that's a really funny idea.
We have to send that in.
I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling.
I believe all of the things in my story.
Human beings are just able to create.
The Zoli Pirates. Okay, everybody, as you probably heard, we periodically invite all of our Creator Club members to join me and Peter on a Zoom to write a story together.
This time, over a hundred different kids from all over the world showed up, and together we wrote an incredible story about a famous author who is a can of seltzer, a famous fart that's in a museum, a famous fire dragon who lives in the Arctic, and who is also a cat burglar.
And for some reason, the story is titled after a famous misquote of a line from Shakespeare.
And you are going to hear it all right now.
And P .S. grown -ups, we're doing this whole thing again on Zoom with me and Peter later this month, and it's not too late to get your kids involved.
We're going to write a brand new story together and then adapt it for the podcast, just like in today's episode.
Information on how to join us is in the episode description for today's episode.
So grown -ups, check it out and join us.
So, without further ado, we present to you a story by the Story Pirates Creator Club, Bubble, Bubble, Toil, and Trouble.
And that's when I knew.
I knew that I was born to bubble.
The end. Wow, amazing.
Thank you, thank you very much. Wow there you have it folks another literary masterpiece from Esmina the can of seltzer queen of best -selling novels we'll now open it up to questions hi Esmina my name is Gail I am a carton of milk and a huge fan my question is we all know that your favorite fruit is orange and that you love to wear banana pants we also know that you hate eat cobwebs and are scared of birds, but my question is, what's your biggest wish?
Great question, Gail.
Well, I am a can of seltzer, so I guess ultimately I want someone to drink me.
Me too. All right. Next question.
Hi, I'm Nathan, a bottle of kombucha.
Esmina, you've written over 4 ,000 bestselling novels, including classics such as Rise of the Bubbles, History of Oranges, The Brave and the Farters, The Smelly Finger, A Student's Diary, and The Guide of Buffaloes.
My question is, which one's your favorite?
You mean besides this new book Born to Bubble, in stores now?
Yes, I do. I'd have to say the book I'm most proud of is The Great Fart of 1900.
Yes, that would be my favorite.
It's rare that I write nonfiction, but I truly felt that The Great Fart was too beautiful a tale not to tell.
And I think we have time for one more question.
Hi, my name is Cammie, a champagne flute of sparkling grape juice.
Esmina, my question is, what's next?
Well, funny enough, I'm once again venturing into nonfiction.
I can't say too much, but I'm currently in the research phase of my brand new book about Dave the Arctic Fire Dragon.
Who's that? Oh, you'll see.
Oh, yes. Let's hear it for Esmina.
Wonderful. Esmina. Yes, Nick.
What is it? Your flight to the Arctic is in 45 minutes.
We have to get you to the airport.
Yes, of course. I meant to ask, do you want me to schedule a visit with your sister, Tangerine, while you're in the Arctic?
No, I don't want to see her and she doesn't want to see me.
Got it. Just give me a minute.
I have to get into my disguise.
Disguise? If I want to observe Dave in his natural habitat, I have to keep a low profile and really blend into the Arctic environment.
So I'm dressing as this.
Is that a costume of a mail carrier taco with a name tag that says Mommy?
That's exactly what it is, Nick.
To the Arctic! Oh, Dave, another glorious day here in my very classy mid -century modern house in the Arctic.
away from bad guys, free to be my own fire dragon.
Excuse me. Huh, who could that be?
Hello? Mail carrier?
Say, you're not my regular mail carrier.
He's a polar bear. Of course not.
I'm obviously a haunted taco named Mommy and not a famous can of seltzer named Dismina.
But why would you say that unless you are a...
What I meant was, Because I have a very urgent letter for you.
Where is it? Oh, shoot.
It's, um... Think, Esmina.
It's, uh... In your toilet!
There's an urgent letter for me and it's being delivered via my toilet?
Yes? Oh, okay. Well, let's go look then.
Come on! Say, this is a beautiful home you have. Maybe we shouldn't check the toilet and instead we should tell each other our life stories while I take notes?
Hey, there's no letter in my toilet.
Okay, now I'm starting to get suspicious.
But I'm also worried that I'm missing an urgent letter.
Can you just tell me what the letter was about?
I don't read your mail.
So? Tell me about your childhood.
Was it hard being a fire dragon in such a cold place?
Something is not right here.
I demand that you take me to your boss at the post office.
Now! Oh! Oh, okay. Sheesh.
Let's go. I'll carry you.
Carry me? But why would— To the post office!
All right, Mommy, here we are at the post office.
Where's your boss? Right, my boss is...
Tangerina? Sister? She's your sister?
I thought she was your boss.
What's going on here?
I demand an explanation!
Dave, Dave, everything is cool.
Calm down. There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this, which I will explain right after I have a quick conversation with my sister, I mean boss, in this broom closet.
Come here, boss. Tangerine, I don't have time to explain but you have to tell this dragon that I work for the post office and that we lost a letter for him in the toilet.
It's nice to see you too, Esmina.
Will you do it or not?
My next book is on the line.
Fine, I'll do it. Oh, thank you.
For a price. Of course.
What's your price? I want the Great Fart of 1900.
Is that all? I'll have my assistant send you ten copies.
No, not the Great Fart of 1900, the book.
The actual Great Fart of 1900.
What? But that thing is in the Museum of Farts and Science in Istanbul.
Sealed in a glass cube under the highest security.
It would take the world's greatest cat burglar to get that thing out.
Tough. That's my price.
Hey, what's going on in there?
Oh, fine. Yes, yes, whatever you want.
You can have it. Just say you're my boss.
Deal. Yes, Dave, Mommy the Haunted Taco does work here.
Oh, okay. And where is that letter that went missing?
Oh, it went down the wrong tube.
But no matter, because I remember what it said.
Good. Wait, you read my mail?
Dear Dave the Dragon, I hope this letter finds you in good health because I am stuck in a toilet and I love tap dancing cats.
Sorry, that was random.
I didn't mean to say that.
Love, a strange can.
Yeah. What? I don't know any cans except you, post office boss.
Wait, is that letter from you?
Yeah, yes, it is. But I got out of the toilet, so it's all good.
Is there anything else I can help you with?
No, I guess not. Well, sorry I doubted you, Mommy.
I'm going back home.
Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Phew.
Tangerine, I owe you one.
Yes, you owe me one great fart from the year 1900.
Either you steal that fart or I'm going to rat you out to that dragon.
Oh, fine. Dave, wait.
Huh? What is it, Mommy?
Listen, I have a weird favor to ask.
Okay. What do you need?
Alex, rain on the way.
Let's go. Go! Okay, here we are outside the museum of farts and science in Istanbul, late at night.
I cannot believe you talked me into this.
Are you ready? Almost, I just have a couple of things I need to do.
Couple things? What things?
Oh, I see. You're putting on gymnastics clothes and a headband.
Oh, now you're dancing.
Now you're tap dancing.
Impressive. What? Now you're breaking into the taco shop over there.
Why? Oh, I see, you were just hungry.
Now where are you going?
The bathroom. Makes sense.
Now you're filling your backpack with stuff to break the security lasers.
Smart. Now you're dressing like a lollipop.
Weird. Now, what are you spraying on yourself?
Is that invisib perfume?
Or is it fart deodorant?
Oh, I see, it's both.
I'm ready. Great. Now you go ahead and break in while I stay here and take notes for my book.
I mean, I can't go in because there's a dragon in there that likes to eat haunted tacos.
I mean, I'll keep watch. Sounds good.
Grappling hook! Why wouldn't you just fly?
Here I go. Good luck!
All right, I'm at the top.
First I'm going to peek out from behind this pillar.
Lasers! And a dancing security guard!
Oh yeah, I'm dancing!
Oh boy, look at me dancing through the museum!
Oh, I'm a dragon! My name is Zap!
Oh yeah, I'm a dancing fool!
I like to eat hot tacos!
Yeah! Wow, what a weird dragon.
On to the next room!
Okay, he's gone! Now, to get through these lasers, I just need to duck.
And jump! And I'm here!
Right in front of the Great Fart of 1900.
Hmm, how to get this glass open?
I know! I'll use my dragon claws to slice a perfect circle in the glass like this!
It's open! Now, how do I capture the fart?
Oh no, I should have thought this through before I opened the glass!
Ah, the fart! It's escaping!
I can smell it! Ah, I'll have to...
Eat it and then fart it out later.
Here I go! That is musty.
Hey, who are you? Oh no, it's that weird guard. It's not going to be easy getting out of here.
Not without a dragon dance fight.
Oh yeah! And as I waited for Dave to emerge from the museum, I took off my taco costume to get some air and ponder my legacy.
I had to wonder would the great fart of 1900 also turn out to be the great fart of 2025 what Dave you're back I didn't see you there hey you're not a haunted taco at all you're a can of seltzer okay okay okay I have a confession to make Dave I'm Esmina the can of seltzer the famous famous author.
I'm writing a novel about you.
In fact, while you were in there, I wrote it.
It's done. And to thank you and to buy the rights to your story, I'd like to offer you this.
Ten chickens. So what do you say?
Are you ready to be famous?
Do I have your permission?
No. All right. So there will be some paperwork.
Wait, what now? My answer is no. I trusted you.
You cannot write a book about me.
because of all the lying you've done!
But if I don't release this book!
Then who's going to tell your story?
I will! I will tell my own story!
Whaaat? And that's exactly what I did.
I flew right home and started writing the story of Dave the dragon.
And, naturally, I called it...
Kitty Tales. Which is this book that I'm finishing now.
The end! Wow! Wow. Dave the Dragon, I think we can all agree that your new autobiography, Kitty Tales, is the greatest bestseller in the history of books, because it has sold more copies than any of Esmina's.
That is true. I'd like to open the floor to questions.
Yes, you. Thank you.
Hey, Dave, big fan.
I was just wondering, did you ever end up re -farting the great fart of 1900?
Great question. No, it's still in there.
So cool. Gross. The end.
You chose to hit play on this podcast today.
Smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices.
That's why they offer a tool called AutoQuote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies.
So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you.
Give it a try after this episode at Progressive .com.
This episode is sponsored by Sitter City.
Hey, grownups. Have you ever found yourself really in need of a sitter, but you don't know where to look?
You already texted everyone you know, and looking online can be just kind of overwhelming.
I know when I first became a parent, I didn't even know where to start with finding a sitter, and I really could have used a service like Sitter City.
They have sitters that fit your family, sitters that you can trust, and sitters that kids really like.
It's important to me that sitters know about child development and that they engage with kids using creative play, and at Sitter City, they really emphasize all of that.
When you open Sitter City, you just know you're going to find someone solid, complete with with references and all sorts of impressive credentials.
Find a sitter that's perfect for your family at sittercity .com.
