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Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.
Good morning. This is Laura.
Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's episode is going to be a longer one, part of the series where I interview fascinating people about how they take their days from great to awesome and any advice they might have for the rest of us.
So today I am delighted to welcome Lisa Bilyeu to the show.
Lisa is the co -founder of Quest Nutrition, the president of Impact Theory, and creator of Women of Impact.
She has built up a huge social media following, sharing her message of confidence and resilience.
So Lisa, welcome to the show.
Thanks so much for having me.
I'm super excited. Yeah.
So why don't you tell our listeners just a little bit more about yourself, what you're up to these days?
Oh, up to these days.
It's growing. I know I'm asking you this at the wrong time.
So Lisa is Los Angeles based.
So that's a loaded question, isn't it?
Yeah, it is. But what's interesting, though, is as we talk about, you know, kind of like what we do in the mornings and, you know, how we live our lives and the habits that really serve us.
I think that any time if you've done the practice and you've really put in habits and systems to help you navigate situations, even with the fires, those systems and those skill sets really do come in handy.
And so just now, like you said, we're dealing with all the fires and there's so much anxiety.
Friends have lost their houses.
How do you keep showing up?
Director, the first one that ever won an Academy Award.
Like I was so excited.
I went to film school, but I'm Greek Orthodox.
And every step of the way in my entire journey as a young girl, I was told that my future was going to be me being a wife and a mother.
And that was my purpose in life.
So I meet the man of my dreams.
And then I fall into the pattern and the life that everybody else had painted for me.
And before I knew it, I felt like I blinked and eight years went by and I was cooking and cleaning for my husband.
And I was the best freaking housewife around, but I just didn't enjoy it.
It felt like it wasn't the life that I wanted.
And then my husband one day came home, we were both miserable living our daily lives.
And we said something has to change.
And in that something has to change the idea of building a protein bar came about.
And I had no idea what I was doing.
I had no idea how to build a business.
All I knew was I was incredibly insecure.
And I didn't know how to show up every day and actually execute on what the business needs.
And so every day was a struggle of figuring out what habits do I need to adopt?
What skill sets do I need to improve on?
What inadequacies do I need to stare nakedly at and admit so that I can improve on it?
And that was such a deep dive from the exterior of the skill sets all the way to the interior and internal of what belief systems do I have that are really holding me back.
And so that journey was just, it was very hard, very difficult, but allowed me to build skill sets that I can take into any avenue that I choose to now.
If I want to start a new business, I can take that into it.
If I want to, you know, focus on my family, all of the skill sets that I have built have allowed me now to navigate anything that I really want to focus on.
Which is amazing, but I'm sure that is a process.
And so, you know, on this show, we always like to give people some practical tips.
So people are listening to this like, Lisa, that sounds great.
I want that sort of confidence and that ability to walk in and navigate new situations.
What are some practical things people could start doing to increase their confidence.
Yeah, this is so important because I completely agree.
People may look at me and be like, Oh my God, I want your confidence.
But the truth is I had to build my confidence.
It is like a muscle.
If you say you want six pack abs, you have to go to the gym.
You have to do crunches.
You have to look at your diet.
And so when you think about confidence, it is a skillset that you will build over time and confidence ends up being the by -product of taking action.
So the question is, how do you take action to build the confidence?
So this comes to, you have to know what you're moving toward.
What goal have you set for yourself?
And it can't be a lot of us, including me, will go inwards, emotional.
I want to be happy.
Happiness isn't a goal.
Happiness is a state of being temporarily.
So what is that goal?
If you're looking to build a business, let's say, what is the goal?
So let's say, for instance, my goal is to build a YouTube channel that can reach 100 ,000 people within a year.
Let's just say that's your goal okay what are you doing every single day to work towards that goal number one it is going to be do steps of how you're going to build that skill set so if you've never been in front of the camera you can understand that step number one is you have to get comfortable in front
of the camera then you take that one step and you make it into micro steps the micro step is i get my iphone out and i film myself for a minute right like so so i take big audacious goal break it down into steps and then break those down into micro steps.
Those are the skill sets for you to then approach and take action.
The second part is your emotions and your hormones are going to get in your way.
So how do you make sure that your emotions and your hormones don't get in your way?
And anyone that may be like, what do you mean by that, Lisa?
Let's just take a certain scenario where I call it, how do you become emotionally sober?
So imagine if you've had, do you drink, have you ever had like cocktails, Laura?
I may have had a cocktail or two in my life.
Okay. So now let's take a scenario where have you ever had a few more cocktails than me?
Like, so I take big audacious goal, break it down into steps, and then break those down into micro steps.
Those are the skillsets for you to then approach and take action.
The second part is your emotions and your hormones are going to get in your way.
So how do you make sure that your emotions and your hormones don't get in your way?
And anyone that may be like, what do you mean by that, Lisa?
are let's just take a certain scenario where i call it how do you become emotionally sober so imagine if you've had do you drink have you ever had like cocktails laura i may have had a cocktail or two in my life okay so now let's take a scenario where have you ever had a few more cocktails than maybe
you should have and then maybe you're a bit more jolly than normal maybe you kissed the bouncer on the way out of a club right like there are things that you're going to do that are slightly out of character if you've had too many shots of vodka or alcohol.
Emotions are the same.
You're going to act out of accordance if you have too many failures that are going to rock you to your core, if you believe that you're not good enough.
All of these things will have an effect of how you show up every single day.
So now understanding hormones, emotions will impact how you show up.
For me, now I go, how do I make sure that how I show up every day and how my hormones and my emotions are will serve the goal I'm trying to get to.
So that's where you stated the goal, you stated the strategy, and then this is where you have to take a hard look at yourself and go, what are the things in my behavior, in my habits that hold me back?
So let's say, for instance, some people are like, I just don't find there's enough hours in the day to reach my goal.
So look at your habits, look at your behavior, and maybe you realize you scroll on your phone for an hour in the morning.
Maybe you realize that you mess about online and you go online shopping before you get to work.
No judgment, no shame.
Does that help you move towards your goal?
Yes or no? It has to be binary.
If the answer is no, now you've identified something in your behavior, in your world that actually is holding you back from your goal.
That's the second step.
After that, you then come up with a strategy of what you're going to do to bypass your normal habit.
So if you wake up and you scroll, which is what I used to do, and it used to mess with my mind.
I wasn't starting the day strong, confident, focused.
I identified it and I said, what am I going to do differently?
And this now comes to the fun part, which I love is like, now I come up with strategies and a plan.
Day one, I'm going to try switching off my phone and putting it in another room.
and I'm going to go downstairs and I'm going to kiss my puppies.
It has to be like that obvious of actions.
So I'll try it for a few days and then I go back inwards and I'm like, how did that feel?
Did I feel more motivated?
Did I feel less motivated?
Did I feel distracted?
Did I feel focused?
And if the answer is moving towards my goal, oh my God, I actually feel more focused switching off my phone, leaving another room and kissing my puppies.
I'm going to now do that the second day.
I'm now going to do that the third day.
Over time, you reinforce that behavior and then it becomes a habit.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
And after there, it's just we're on to the hundred thousand YouTube subscribers right after that.
Right. But that's the thing is that now you focus, now you show up, now you get in front of the camera.
And now we can get there.
And now you've practiced enough to get to the point where you can now confidently put videos out every single day and then obviously focus on your YouTube channel.
Absolutely. All right.
Well, but we're going to take a quick ad break and we will be right back.
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So I am back talking with Lisa Bilyeu, who teaches people about radical confidence and how to show up in your life to achieve all your goals.
So we were just talking there briefly about how people spend their mornings.
And on this show, we love to talk about morning routines.
uh you know with the show called before breakfast as you can imagine we have a lot of people with intense morning routines um from what I understand you're you're a go to the gym in the morning kind of person although I just saw um and maybe you just posted this this week that you were modifying your
morning routine just slightly so maybe you can talk about that absolutely so the strategy that I just broke down is how I start to look at my routines look at what I'm doing and seeing if I'm moving towards my goal.
But understanding that I am a human being who's always looking to grow and evolve.
So the thing that worked for me last year, two years ago, may not be the thing that's working for me now.
So almost every quarter, I do an assessment and an analysis of my life and my habits and my strategies to see if they're still aligned with how I want to show up and what I'm trying to achieve.
So recently, going back to the hormones and the emotions, I'm a female, I'm 45 years old.
I'm going through perimenopause.
I can't ignore that.
I can't pretend I'm that 25 year old that likes to wake up, crush it in the gym, all right, like go, go, go, go, go.
I'm feeling a little differently now.
So while my habits and my routines absolutely serve me, that is what allowed me for 10 years to keep going in busy go may not be the thing that's working for me now.
So almost every quarter I do an assessment and an analysis of my life and my habits and my strategies to see if they're still aligned with how I want to show up and what I'm trying to achieve.
So recently, going back to the hormones, the emotions, I'm a female, I'm 45 years old, I'm going through perimenopause.
I can't ignore that.
I can't pretend I'm that 25 year old that likes to wake up, crush it in the gym, like go, go, go, go, go.
I'm feeling a little differently now.
So while my habits and my routines absolutely serve me, that is what allowed me for 10 years to keep going in business when I didn't have the confidence.
That's what allowed me to keep going and take Quest Nutrition that started at zero.
And we went from zero to a billion dollar company in five years.
That was, part of it was intense focus of every single part of where you put your energy, what you focus on.
So now going back to what I do now, what I did in my twenties isn't working for me.
And what I realized was I went from, the gym was motivating, The gym was actually filling my cup to now I feel like it's a burden.
I was going to the gym.
I was lifting weights like I normally do.
And I felt differently about it.
So it was important for me to recognize it now no longer serves me.
But I understand the importance of moving your body.
So I'm like, I'm not just going to quit the gym.
I need to modify it.
What does that modification look like?
So I wrote a couple of ideas.
I was like, number one, I'm going to go cuddle my husband.
But sometimes he's busy.
Sometimes in the middle of work.
that strategy didn't work because now it's dependent on him again how do you be dependent on yourself I realized that wasn't working so I tried another strategy what if I go and pet my puppies so my idea was soften bring in joy to my heart allow myself the joy that then may motivate me to go out into
the world and metaphorically crush it in the gym and in business so I was like let me try it and so I go and I pet my puppies I'm like okay I feel like I need to spend some more time with them.
And I would just like let them walk and sniff.
And I was like, this really fills my cup.
Like weirdly, I never would have thought 20 years ago or 10 years ago, you would tell me to be soft in the mornings, but now it actually is serving me.
So I've just adapted my morning routine.
I take the puppies out first.
I give them cuddles.
I've nurtured my heart.
And then I go to the gym and I freaking nurture my body.
Awesome. And she really has.
If anyone wants to watch her videos, I've seen her doing lots of push -ups I am not quite I cannot do the non -knee push -up yet but I'm working on it so but that's again yeah like the goal so it's the goal what do you have to do every day to get to the goal and are you willing to do it exactly exactly
well hopefully I am but let's let's talk a little bit more about some of your other routines that you have because obviously you know you guys running a big business this takes time you've I'm sure had to learn to be incredibly productive given that we all have limited hours in the day.
I wonder if you have any strategies that have been very helpful for you that you might share with our listeners.
Yeah, absolutely. So I think it was Steve Jobs that I very first heard this from years and years ago, but he said you can only have a certain amount of decision -making with clarity.
And the more decisions you make, the more decision -fatigued you get.
In just taking that as fact, I then looked at my life and I said, what can I systematize?
That literally makes me not have to think about it.
So food, for instance, I have, health is very important to me because for me, being able to nurture my body in order to bring the energy that I need to business, food is very important.
So I go, how can I systematize my healthy foods that I never get to the point where I'm hungry?
I never get to the point where I'm eating bad food that doesn't serve my brain.
And so I systematize my food.
And that meant I got, I am very fortunate now to have a private chef that comes in and prepares.
So I don't want to assume that everybody does.
but before I was wealthy, before I had quite, I was doing everything myself.
And so that meant bulk cooking.
And so every Sunday I would take the whole day and I would take chicken breasts and burgers and whatever food, vegetables, and I would bulk cook everything.
I would then put everything in packages.
I would put it in the freezer.
And now every day I literally don't think about it.
I don't make a decision on food.
I don't make a decision of how I eat, when I eat.
I set an alarm in my phone that reminds me to eat.
I've got my food ready.
And so you can see how that one thing is now one thing less I think about.
So that's one big thing that I do in my daily life.
Second of all, I just look at where I'm wasting my time.
And it has to be, unfortunately, when you're building a business, sometimes you do have to be cutthroat in your time.
And that means I have to be very honest about where my energy and time should go.
And with grace and politeness, I'm always trying to, you know, make sure that people don't feel ever dismissed or anything like that.
But sometimes when you're running a business, people will come to for the smallest questions and it's questions they can solve themselves.
And so I have learned to empower my team to answer their own questions.
I'm always here for them, but now I don't get nitpicked every two seconds on a thousand questions.
Lastly, the very thing that I think is the most important thing is making sure you have time for yourself every Saturday.
And this was because my health got so bad.
I spent 10 years of Quest Nutrition, not paying attention to my health or my body or my life that ended up being disastrous for me so now i go how do i make sure i'm always giving myself moments of peace so that i can come back and crush it in business and i got so much pushback but every saturday without
fail i switch my phone off you cannot reach me i am very unless it's the fires i was on social media for the fires unless it's something urgent i don't answer anything i told my family if you text me i'm not gonna answer if there's an emergency I'm not gonna answer and the amount of pushback I had and so I
said okay what's the pushback but Lisa what if we need to reach you that was one of cool ping my husband the follow -up thing was what if someone doesn't have your husband's phone number my answer is then I'm sorry you are not close enough to me to warrant disturbing my self -care time and that's a boundary
I put in I was religious on I stuck to and over time people started to respect it because they started to realize how important it was for me to be able to show up.
So without that, you can't show up for other people.
I love that. Yeah. If you're not, if I don't know you well enough to give you my husband's number, then probably you don't have an emergency I need to hear about.
So what are you doing with that time then on Saturday?
I'd love to hear what the self care day looks like for you.
Absolutely. So me and my husband, it's been together for almost 25 years.
We've built multiple companies together.
I met him when I was 21.
And so self care time really is.
Number one, me and my husband, every Saturday morning, we sit down and we say something called selfish desires.
So selfish desires means you just tell me exactly what you want to do.
You're not thinking about my emotions.
You're not thinking about your wife.
You're not thinking about, I'm not thinking about him.
What do you actually want to do?
And we lay out everything we want to do on a Saturday.
And I lay out everything I want to do on a Saturday.
So I like to do the sauna.
I like to do cold plunging.
I like to draw. I'm an artist.
I like to draw. I'm a purist if you will so I like paper and pen sorry paper and pencil um and I lay out this is all I want to do and my husband's like great I don't want to do the hot tub and the sauna and cold plunge because that sounds like work so while you do that I'm going to go play video games
amazing okay what else are we going to do I really want to draw great while I'm drawing he's going to go and fill in the gap and then at 2 p .m babe are you cool I really want to spend time with you on us to communicate and nurture our relationship so how do you feel about two o 'clock we come together
and we have lunch together and then we watch a movie and then we we communicate and we discuss it and that way we both get what we want we both don't feel like we're sacrificing all the time for the other person and we're able to show up that is right for us because my way of showing up isn't going
to be the same way as my husband so by sunday you better believe we're in great moods because we've connected and we've had that self -care time i love it i love it all right well we're going to take one more quick act break and then I will be back with more from Lisa.
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I'm Jay Shetty. My latest episode is with financial expert, Scott Galloway.
If you are doing a lot of side hustles, it's very, very difficult to be great at your main hustle.
The only way you're going to build real wealth and economic security is to go all in on one thing.
That is greatness, focus.
None of this matters.
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Scott is a professor of marketing at NYU Stern School of Business.
He's a best -selling author.
He has earned things about how she grew in confidence as she was building a business, her self -care Saturdays, which I love.
And I'm going to see what I can, you know, make fit in my life.
It's, we, I think we have a slightly different life, but it's okay.
It's all good. Can I actually just say something on that, actually?
That's the important thing is you have to adapt this to the life that you have and the life you want.
So if you're a parent, if you have so many things to do, I understand the whole day isn't going to be possible.
But what is possible is an hour.
An hour is definitely possible.
And that's I love that because I think a lot of people think, well, you know, I couldn't do anything like that.
But there's a huge difference between maybe not as much as some people or less than others and none.
And none is usually not the answer.
None is usually not the answer.
So we can find some time where we can figure out exactly what we want to do.
Yeah, so I wonder if you could talk a little bit about community and building a supportive community around you.
You know, you talked a little bit about setting boundaries with people, which is awesome.
But I'm curious about bringing people into your life or nurturing the relationships that you do have in order to make sure that those people can help you as you're growing in your confidence journey.
Yeah, absolutely. So back in the day, there wasn't really the thing as community.
So it was more about an audience, right?
the person speaks, the audience listens.
We're in a different world now.
So understanding what people need and then thinking is like, what is important to you?
So for me growing up, I was actually bullied and teased by women.
One of my most horrific stories as a child was I was teased and bullied and tricked and everyone played this big game on me and tricked and surprised me.
And it was all girls.
And so growing up, I felt like women were the competition, women were the things, the people you couldn't trust.
In my adulthood, I was like, this doesn't make sense to me just because of my bad experience as a child.
I love women. I love engaging with women.
I love thinking, hearing women's thoughts, hearing how women process things.
Like I really do resonate and I love supporting women.
And so why, why am I backing off?
So that was really the first thing of like, I'm going to be the person to be the calling card for all women that doesn't feel safe.
That doesn't feel like they've got, you know, other women have their backs i'm going to be that person and i'm going to show up every single day being everyone's cheerleader i want you to feel like i'm your homie that i got my pom -poms i'm cheering you on like i because that's what i want right so it's
kind of like you give someone almost the gift you're looking for so that was really where i started from then it became the community of like what are people struggling with because my problems the things i'm struggling with isn't necessarily going to be the things that you're struggling with so as
you start to listen and engage and communicate with your community, you start to hear almost like what the majority of people are struggling with.
Now, just like anything, if you're building a business, you can't please everybody and you can't make everybody happy.
So that's where I go, okay, what are the messages I'm going to listen to?
What are the problems I'm going to listen to?
And I'm going to really lean in.
Now, just like me, I don't want someone to look like they're perfect because then I think they're unattainable.
I want to see all the mess that is somebody's success or failure because it's in the mess that makes that person.
And so if I really believe that, how can I not show up to do that?
And so that then became the next thing of like, I'm just gonna be my true self.
I'm gonna show warts and all, the crazy, the messes, the failures, like, because that is the gem.
So in doing that, that ended up building a community where they're like, wow, you're just so real.
And the truth is like, I don't know how else to be because I wouldn't want to look at anyone that was fake, that just doesn't set women up for success.
so now I've built this community of amazing women that everyone has each other's backs and I'm in the comments on my youtube channel and if someone is rude or dismissive to somebody else I will jump in immediately and I'll be like look you are entitled to opinion but you are not entitled to being here
and verbally abusing or emotionally abusing people if that's what you're looking for I have zero judgment and on what you want but this isn't the place please unsubscribe because I would rather have a smaller community that has each other's backs than a bigger community where now everybody is bitching
and gossiping so i have an all -star i know what i'm trying to achieve and the community is the voice and the results of are you achieving that yes or no i love it and that is why people love watching lisa online because she is real and and i love the being there in the comments section because i think a lot
of people don't do that so it's really great And I understand if you're getting backlash and you're getting hate, that's, it's like you do it to protect your self esteem.
The problem is, I think sometimes when people are giving constructive feedback, if you're not reading it, then you don't hear how you can actually get better.
And so for me, I'm always trying to get better.
And so to not listen to my community doesn't help me with my goal.
Wouldn't make sense.
So Lisa, what is something you have done recently to take a day from great to awesome?
oh i use music and food recently as a way to uh equalize when i am feeling maybe emotionally overwhelmed or just overwhelmed from business ideas and strategies and pressure so number one is music that is an immediate change of state for me so if i'm feeling sad i go you can't stay here doesn't serve
your business what song are you going to put on i have a playlist that is my go -to and recently i'm now reading up more and more about what types of food help with your hormones as a woman so i for instance i was feeling i wasn't motivated right i even said that earlier like i feel like that was weird
like in the morning is i'm not motivated anymore why understanding hormones i realized my progesterone has been dropping so i've been doing these hormone tests my progesterone dropped all right how am i going to fix it food actually helps with your hormones and i know this probably wasn't the answer
you're expecting but this is the truth i'm not going to lie to you so now i go what's going to build my progesterone walnuts uh uh pineapples so i go cool i'm going to eat walnuts and pineapples and so it's so empowering like it's so exciting and empowering to go my body's changing my hormones are changing
i need something different what am I going to eat?
And so in real time, I start to feel like I'm nurturing my body.
Obviously, that takes time.
So the immediate thing is music.
Exactly. I love it.
I love it. Well, maybe I need to check out the walnuts and pineapple thing because I believe we are the same age.
I got some books for you to read.
Exactly, exactly. So Alisa, what are you looking forward to these days?
So I have been working for five years now on a comic book for young girls.
i'm obsessed with wonder woman wonder woman was the first symbol that allowed me in my adulthood to realize as a woman i can embody empowerment i can body bad archery and so i always wear a wonder woman necklace uh around my neck because mirroring is very important i understand mirroring and psychology
so every time if i'm on the zoom if i see myself i see the logo if i look at myself in the mirror i see the logo so i took that i was like how do we really help younger generation the young girls out there so that they don't have to spend the next 20 years unwiring all the negative mindset and insecurities
that I've had to in my life.
And it really is if you get them in the age of imprint, you can actually influence them forever.
Age of imprint is between 11 and 15.
What do 11, 15 year olds care about?
What's happening in culture, music, television shows, animation, comic books, what's online?
Cool. I can't impact your parents, who your parents are.
I can't impact what school you go to, but you better believe maybe I can impact what you listen to or what you watch.
So I have been working on a comic book for young girls called Wish Academy, Women of Impact Superheroes, where you basically, it's supposed to be this underlying motivation of looking forward to these days.
So I have been working for five years now on a comic book for young girls.
I'm obsessed with Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman was the first symbol that allowed me in my adulthood to realize as a woman, I can embody empowerment.
I can embody badassery.
And so i always wear a wonder woman necklace uh around my neck because mirroring is very important i understand mirroring and psychology so every time if i'm on the zoom if i see myself i see the logo if i look at myself in the mirror i see the logo so i took that i was like how do we really help younger
generation the young girls out there so that they don't have to spend the next 20 years unwiring all the negative mindset and insecurities that i've had to in my life and it really is if you get them in the age of imprint you can actually influence them forever age of imprint is between 11 and 15 what do
11 15 year olds care about what's happening in culture music television shows animation comic books what's online cool I can't impact your parents who your parents are I can't impact what school you go to but you better believe maybe I can impact what you listen to or what you watch so I have been working
on a comic book for young girls called wish academy me, Women of Impact Superheroes, where you basically, it's supposed to be this underlying motivation of how a young girl can build her confidence.
And it's Harry Potter meets Mean Girls.
So it's a superhero story in a high school for girls.
And because I've been working on it for so long, and it's part of my mission, I'm, you know, kind of where I started, what's your goal?
What's your strategy?
How are you getting there?
I haven't given up on my purpose for young girls.
And so even if it's taken me five years, how do I sustain that energy to keep going to get to my goal?
It is everything I've just told you.
If I didn't do all that, I would have stopped a long time ago.
But it is finally coming together.
I've got it's finally like the final issues are finally being developed.
And so being able to show up and help those 14 year old girls is like a dream come true to me.
So that's what's coming up.
Awesome. Well, that is wonderful.
Well, Lisa, thank you so much for joining us today.
Okay. Be sure to check out Lisa with all her work with Impact Theory and Women of Impact.
Thank you for everyone who's been listening.
If you have feedback on this or any other episode, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam .com.
And in the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening.
Here's to making the most of our time.
Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam .com.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media.
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