Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbinspodcast.
Today, you and I are going to learn how to take better care of yourbrain.
And maybe you've never even thought about the fact that you should take better care of yourbrain, or that you evencan.
And if you really stop and think aboutit, why don'twe?
Imean, your brain is the super computer that keeps youalive.
It's responsible for your mentalhealth, yourhappiness, yourmemory, yourfocus.
It keeps your bodyright.
Imean, it is literally in charge ofeverything.
If your brain's notworking, you'redead.
Why isn't there a user manual for the most important organ in yourbody?
Imean, you literally cannot live withoutit.
Well, the experts that you're going to meet todaysay, taking care of yourbrain, this super computer that runs your life is supereasy.
And based on more than 200,000 brainscans, there are little hacks that you can do every single day tosharpen,strengthen, and build a better and happierbrain.
And I really want you to think about this for asecond.
Imean, you pay so much attention to yourteeth.
You brush your teeth everyday.
Youfloss, you whitenthem.
And how about yournails?
Imean, you're constantly fussing with yournails, whether you're cuttingthem, filingthem, youdip, yougel, youpaint, you push back thecuticles, you make sure there's no gunk underthem.
Imean, just think aboutit.
It's kind of like a daily thing to fuss with yournails.
What if building a better brain was as easy as brushing your teeth or pushing back yourcuticles?
Well, itis. And the number one brain doctor on the planet is here to teach you a simple habit that you need to do every morning that's as fast as brushing yourteeth.
Imean, isn't thatcool?
Sign meup. And guesswhat?
I'm just gettingstarted.
Six world renowned experts are here to teach you daily tricks that will help you take better care of your brain and unleash its fullpotential.
You're going to get the simple science on improving yourmemory, the right foodstate, beatingprocrastination, and one thing that a renowned doctor wants you to avoid to have a betterbrain.
And what about that little voice in yourhead?
Is there anything you can do to improvethat?
Of course thereis. Andfinally, you're going to meet a Harvard trained professor and learn a daily habit for boosting your brain's capacity forhappiness.
Your mind is never going to be thesame.
And everything that you're going to learn today is as easy as brushing yourteeth.
Hey, it's your friendMel.
And thank you so much for being here with me and taking the time to listen to something that could improve yourlife.
That is just socool. And it's an honor to be togethertoday.
If you're a newlistener, I want to welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcastfamily.
I'm so glad you'rehere.
I'm MelRobbins. I am excited to share this time withyou.
Andtoday, you and I are talking about a topic that you may have never evenconsidered, which is how you should be taking care of yourbrain.
Imean, the same way that you brush your teeth or fuss with yournails, there are simple things you and I can do to make your brainbetter,sharper,smarter, andhappier.
And my mission today is to make you want to take care of yourbrain.
And I'll admit something to you until I started the Mel Robbinspodcast, I didn't think about taking care of mybrain.
Youknow, I just thought about my brain and I pictured that sort of mound of macaroni that's like at the back of yourhead.
Aftertoday,though, it will not be anafterthought.
Your brain will become a daily priority because you're going to meet six world-renownedexperts, including the number one brain doctor on theplanet, professors from Stanford and Harvard Medical School and researchers who are here for just onereason.
To empower you withsimple, science-supported hacks and daily practices that will help you take care of your brain and unleash its fullpotential.
And what I love about the six experts is that they all have this incredible message of hope and empowerment with all the simple hacks they're about to teachyou.
The factis, you can build a betterbrain.
And it doesn't matter how young you are or how old you maybe.
This is thetruth. It'sscience.
Whether you've hadconcussions, whether you did well in school or youdidn't, whether you're a fast processor or a slowprocessor, you can build a better brain using the simple proven strategies that you're about to learntoday.
And the first expert I cannot wait for you to meet is JimQuick.
Jim, like all six expertstoday, has appeared on the Mel Robbinspodcast.
And if you want to dig in deeper to his advice or anything that you're about tohear, just go to the show notes who can find them at melrabbins.com slashpodcast.
And I want to give you some context for what you're about to hear fromJim.
When Jim waslittle, they used to callhim, getthis, the boy with the brokenbrain.
And they called him that due to this freak accident that happened to him in elementary school in hisclassroom.
He was standing on this chair in his classroom and he fell off it and hit his head on aradiator.
And after thataccident, Jim had incredible difficultylearning,studying,memorizing, and even simply functioning in theclassroom.
But luckily foryou, he figured out not only how to heal hisbrain, but Jim Quick is now a world-renowned brain coach teaching millions of people how to have a sharpermemory, better informationretention, and a happierbrain.
And today he is your braincoach.
I wantJim, who is a world-renowned brain coach and the head of a very successful brain institute to share with you this incredibly positive message about yourbrain.
And we're going to starthere.
Because his words areinspiring.
They're based on the work that he does with thousands of people every single year and extensiveresearch.
And here's Jim after I asked him thisquestion.
Jim, do you really believe absolutely anyone can improve theirbrain?
You need to hearthis. It's been my experience coaching people every singleday.
For the past 32 yearsthat, regardless of yourage, yourbackground, yourcareer, yourdiet, your educationlevel, your financialsituation, yourgender, yourhistory,IQ, that we all canimprove.
It's aboutadvancing. It's about progressing beyond what you're currently demonstrating or what you believe ispossible.
We know that about one-third of your brain'sperformance, like itsmemory, is predetermined by genetics andbiology.
But that means two-thirds is in your directcontrol.
We have more influence than wethink.
Allright. The brain coach just told you that you can change yourbrain.
And so let's go to one thing that everyone wants to know how toimprove.
And that's yourmemory.
So here's Jim again after I askedhim, nowJim, I've triedeverything.
Can you tell me how the heck can I remember someone'sname?
Here's the quickmethod,Swav.
When you're next time you're at an event and you wantto, yousay, I'm going to remembernames.
Look atyourself,say, I'm going to beSwav.
Yes, say the name rightaway.
When somebody gives you theirname, greet them back using their name because it means you get through ittwice.
Andalso, you don't want to have a 20-minute conversation withsomebody.
Likesay, there's a lot of backgroundnoise, 20-minute conversation with Ted and saygoodbye,Ed.
Right. You want to be corrected upfront.
I like the fact that you say the name immediately because even if you say itwrong, they'll correct you and they're not going to be offended because if you say itimmediately,they, it's just that you heard itwrong.
It's not that you didn't rememberit.
Yeah,no,absolutely. So you say thename, then you use it three or four times in theconversation.
And then A inSwav,ask, this works really well for people who have unusual names or names you haven't heardbefore.
What can you ask about a person'sname?
How do you say yourname?
How do you spell yourname?
Where is itfrom? Who were you namedafter?
Does it mean something in anotherlanguage,right?
So everyone's favorite topic is their name because think of it as probably one of the first words youheard, probably one of the first words you learned how towrite.
So it's one of the reasons why it's a sweetestsound.
But ask about a person's name that weflattered, especially unusualnames.
Okay. I just want to make sure that as you're listening toJim, you picked up on the fact that he has thisacronym,Swav.
And Swav is what we're using as the tool to help us remember someone'sname.
You said a kind of fastJim.
So I'm just kind of slowing it down for those of us who may not be as quick in the super brain as youare.
The S is for sayit. Got that makessense.
Say it as soon as they say theirname.
You as for useit, which also makes sense because the more you use it in a sentence without beingcreepy, the more you're likely to rememberit,A, ask aboutit.
What is the V and Swav standfor?
The V and Swav isvisualize.
And this is how I do it in front ofaudiences.
If there's time onstage, I'll have30,40, 50 people standup, pass around amicrophone, and I'll memorize words of 100 names depending on which time wehave.
But how I do it is I would just visualize the person'sname, meaning most people listening are better with faces than the Arabicnames.
You go to someonesay, I remember yourface, I'msorry, I forgot yourname.
You never go to someonesay, I remember theopposite.
I remember yourname, but I forgot yourface,right?
And those didn'thappen.
But your visual cortex is takes up more realestate.
And so we tend to remember what wesee.
And if we tend to remember what wesee, try seeing what we want toremember.
You meet someone for the first time and their name isMary.
Imagine for a split second that she's carrying two lambs underneath herarms.
Mary had a littlelamb,right?
You meet someone namedDavid.
Just hit him in the nose with aslingshot, David andGoliath,right?
And people say that's sochildish.
Who are the fastestlearners?
Youknow, children can learnlanguages, musicalinstruments, butpart, and they make fun ofnames, but that helps you to rememberit.
Because if you could seeit, feel it and hearit, you're not going to forgetit.
Gotit,right? You're hearingit, you're visualizingit, and you're making it kind of funny orludicrous, and then you'renot, you're not going to forgetit.
So person's name isMike.
Imagine they jump on a table and sing on amicrophone.
And when you say goodbye tothem, you're gonnaremember,oh, that was the guy that didthat.
What's hisname?Mike. And thenfinally, the E and Swav stands for end and the conversation saying goodbye using theirname.
Because if you could walk into a room of strangers and leavelike,like, 20 people and leave saying goodbye to every single one ofthem, who are they all going toremember?
You,right? That's an absolute standoutskill.
It is a standoutskill. And you knowwhat?
I love thatend, which is the E andSwav.
Is you end the interaction with somebody by saying the person'sname?
Imean, that's a fantastic tip that makes itstick.
And I also love that he made it easy to remember by turning this little hack into anacronym.
And I'm going to be soswav.
Say theirname, use theirname, ask a question with theirname, visualize and end with theirname.
And you just unleashedboom, the power of your memory and built a betterbrain.
Imean, how swav isthat?
I told you it was going to be as easy as pushing back yourcuticles.
And then I just proved it toyou.
Sothanks, JimQuick. Nextup,Dr.
DanielAiman.Now,Dr. Aiman is the number one brain doctor on theplanet.
Let me tell you a little bit about the Mel Robbins podcastalum,Dr.
Aiman. He is a double board certifiedpsychiatrist, a nine time New York Times best sellingauthor.
I don't know where he has the time to write all thesebooks, because he is also the founder and medical director of Aimanclinics, which is done nearly 200,000 brain scans on patients from 111countries.
By theway, including my own brain and myhusband, Chris'sbrain.
AndDr. Aiman is here today to tell you the exact habits and foods that make a healthybrain.
Now, I want you to listen to his world classadvice, because here's what I askedhim.
Dr.Aiman, what are some of the micro habits that have the biggest impact on the healthierbrain?
So I start every day with today is going to be a great day because once you get the physical functioning of your brainhealthy, you then have toprogram.
So I start everyday. So why is today going to be a great day foryou?
Directing yourmind. And then my favorite of all the habits I do is when I go to bed atnight, I say aprayer, and then Igo, what went welltoday?
And I go on a treasurehunt.
And I actually start from the very moment I woke up looking for what was right about theday.
And I've done this now seven or eightyears.
And even the night my daddied, it was anawful, awfulday.
I did it because it was myhabit,right?
The brain islazy. It does what you nudge it todo.
And so it really helped me even in a really hardtime.
But it's almost my favorite time of the day because likeyou, I'm busy and great things willhappen.
And I'll just not really focus onit.
I love the idea of a treasurehunt.
And there's no doubt that if you make it a habit to ask yourself every singlenight, what went welltoday?
Infact, why not ask yourself that question as you're brushing yourteeth?
Why not clean your brain of all the negativity while you're cleaning your teeth of all the crap that's onthem?
It's a simple habit for a betterbrain.
And if you do it while you brush yourteeth, what went welltoday?
It's as fast as cleaningthem.
Now I also askedDr. Aiman about brainfoods.
And he has a list of five things that you should be eating for brainhealth.
What are those fivethings?
Well, they're sosimple.
It's almost as simple as picking out a polish for yournails.
By theway, I love that analogy because all of these things he wants you to eat are also quitecolorful, like a nailpolish.
Here isDr. Aiman to explain the food you should eat for a betterbrain.
Wild salmon for the omega-3 fattyacids,bairns, blueberries often called them brainberries.
So people take a blueberryextract, access and shown to improvemountain.
Nuts andseeds. People who eat nuts and seeds on a regular basis have lower incidence of depression anddementia.
Leafy greens for the fiber and themagnesium, but my favorite one is raw cacao or the man ingredient inchocolate.
Wow. I want you to try I make brain healthy hot chocolate virtually everyday.
How do you makeit? I get rawcacao.
So for eachserving, youknow, I'll say the servings like 12ounces.
Heeping teaspoon of rawcacao, unsweetened organic almondmilk.
You can do it with other nutmilks, but I like almondmilk.
There's a company called Sweetleaf that makes liquid chocolatestevia.
So I heat up themilk, I mix in the rawcacao, I put a couple ofdropper, folds of chocolate stevia and put it in blender to tasteamazing.
I love my brain healthy hot chocolate and it loves meback.
So whatever you eat or whatever youdo, Imean, we're in a relationship with what we do and is it a mutually positive relationship or is itdestructive?
Sosalmon,berries,nuts,seeds, leafy greens and rawcacao.
Eat those for a healthybrain.
Now I did not expect him to say hot chocolate is a brainfood.
Now I'm all in and this episode just keeps getting better andbetter.
Who knew that learning about your brain and how to take care of it could also be so fun and it sure is better than going to the dentist if you know what Imean.
So let's spread the fun and share this with everyone that youlove.
You know the first two people that come to mind who need to know how to take better care of their brains are mydaughters.
If they were to spend half the amount of time taking care of their brain like they do with the amount of time they spend trying to make manicure appointments and figuring out what styles are going todo, who knows what wouldhappen.
I'll tell you what wouldhappen.
They'd have asmarter,faster, healthierbrain.
And when we come back from thebreak, you're going to learn from a Harvard medical doctor that there is one thing that you should avoid for yourbrain.
Health and you're going to learnwhy.
And a littlelater, you're going to learn how to stopprocrastinating.
You just wait but don't goanywhere.
I'll be rightback. Welcomeback.
It's your friend Mel Robbins and you and I are talking about the sexiest organ in your body and that is yourbrain.
And why you need to start taking care ofit.
Simplethings, bigimpact.
And we started by really focusing on the topic of memory and I want to stay onit.
Because next up is a Harvard doctor on the show who unpacked the research about how alcohol impacts your brain and makes your memoryworse.
And her research is socompelling.
And when you hear her share it and you truly understand the impact that alcohol has on brainfunction, you may feel way more motivated to stop drinking or at least cut wayback.
Dr. Sarah Wakeman is the senior medical director of substance use disorder at Harvard's Mass GeneralBrigham.
Now, Harvard's Mass General Brigham has been ranked as the number one research hospital in theworld.
She's an associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and she is absolutely outstanding and how she explains the relationship between alcohol and yourbrain.
And I really wanted you to hear this because if you're trying to improve your memory or get mental clarityback, this is going to be a wake-up call foryou.
I asked her to describe how alcohol compromises your memory specifically and here is whatDr.
Wakemansaid. So alcohol affects all parts of the brain including theamygdala, which is an area that lays down memory and it has complicated actions in thebrain.
So it increases more slowing downhormones.
So we think of it as a depressant because it slows you down and relaxes you and it decreases more excitatoryneurotransmitters.
In the shortterm, because your consciousness is beingaffected, you won't be making newmemories.
Over the longterm, heavy alcohol use can actually causedementia.
It can cause severe memoryproblems.
There's actually a unique condition that we only see with alcohol generally where the part of your brain that lays down new memories gets damaged and people get basically an amnesia syndrome where they can't make newmemories.
So they can only remember things from the past but they're unable to make any newmemories.
And that's a very extreme example but we see it in the hospital and it's really scary when ithappens.
What do you see when you look at a brain where somebody's been a heavy drinker versus somebody that's occasional or verylight?
We actually see brain damage on people who've had chronic heavy alcohol use over manyyears.
So if you take a picture of the brain like with a CAT scan or with anMRI, what we describe it as is volumeloss.
So normally you want to see a big healthy robustbrain.
And as you age and with types ofdementia, one thing that we see is the brain starts toshrink.
So like the actual functional parts of the brain aresmaller.
We see that process accelerated with heavy alcoholuse.
So often take some news in their 50s who really shouldn't have volume loss of their brain at thatage.
But if they've been using alcohol at a very heavy amount for a longtime, we'll often see their brain looks like a much older brain because of thatshrinking.
And then there are very extreme examples like this rare memory condition where we literally see that part of the brain almostdie.
Like you can see it light up that it's been severelyimpacted.
That news is a littlescary,right?
Imean, when you really hear her explain it in medicalterms, but if your heart is sinking right now for yourself or for someone that youlove, I do want to remind you that your brain can getbetter.
Imean, that's the coolest thing about your brain and every single expert that you have met so far and every expert that we've had on thepodcast, whether they're a medical doctor or a neuroscientist agrees that your brain adapts to positivechanges, which is why it's so important for you to start taking care of your brain the same way you brush your teeth every singleday.
And if you're sitting here feelinglike,gosh, your stuff I got todo, this is your sign to take a step toward that better braintoday.
And thisinformation, by theway, isn't just foryou, it's for everybody that youlove.
So if you're tired of trying to get someone else to truly take a look at alcohol and the impact that it's having on theirlife, just letDr.
Wakeman explain what you just explained toyou.
All you have to do is share this episode and it could be the wake-up call that the person that you love needed becauseDr.
Wakeman also shared something prettyextraordinary, which is when you cut back or stopdrinking, there is a long list of immediate health benefits that you're going tofeel.
Check thisout.Yeah, you'll see a lot of really quickthings.
You'll sleep better and feel morerestored.
You may loseweight. There's a lot of calories inalcohol.
So if your goal is to loseweight, you're drinking a ton of liquidcalories.
So you may find that that'sbetter.
You may find that your exercise capacity goes up because you're resting more and you're not having hangovers and you're able to exercise in a way that feelsdifferent.
You may find that you're less irritable and more present for your loved ones that your mood is actually better overtime.
Your skin might lookbetter.
You're lestdehydrated.
Your hormones are moreregulated.
You may have lessacne. So all of those benefits you can often see in a very short time and that can be reinforcing as you decide what you want your long-term goals to look like to really see what life is like with less orwithout.
I just feel better listening toDr.
Wakeman tell me all the things that are going to improve simply cutting back onalcohol.
One thing has all thatbenefit.
I'min. Allright. Nextup, we're going to really switch gearsnow.
Infact, you are going to speed it wayup.
Get ready to meet ProfessorFerrari.
Yup, I kid younot. That is hisname.
And I'm not joking that Professor Ferrari is one of the world's leading researchers on the topic ofprocrastination.
He is a renowned psychologist and professor of psychology at DePaulUniversity.
And once you learn the little shifts he's about to share withyou, procrastination will never slow you downagain.
You and I are going to jump right into the interview right after I askedDr.
Ferrari, what isprocrastination?
Here's hisanswer. Everything shows that procrastination is a maladaptivelifestyle.
Youknow, there's thatexpression.
If you want something to bedone, you give it to a busyperson.
Why? It makes nosense. Why a busyperson?
Because the busy person values your time and values their time and knows that there are things that have to getdone.
Allright. So this is not an adaptivestrategy.
Let me stop there andsay, I'm not shaming or condemning anybody'sprocrastinator.
I'm going to show you how procrastination is a learnedtendency.
And that means you can unlearnit.
But that's how I would defineit.
Irrational. It prevents you from reaching yourgoal.
Everybodyprocrastinates, but not everyone is aprocrastinator.
What's thedifference?
Thank you verymuch.20% of adult men and women are chronicprocrastinators.
And as the researchpsychologist, those are the people I want tostudy.
20%. Now you mightsay, that's all forour, that's higher thandepression, substanceabuse, panicattacks,alcoholism,right?
And yet we treat thishumorously.
Iprocrastinate.Well, do you procrastinate on onetask?
Then youare, then youprocrastinate.
Or do you procrastinate on a variety ofthings?
That makes you a procrastinatetour.
20% of men andwomen, no significant genderdifference.
20% ofpeople, allright?
And will not are as VP on time and wait till the gauge goes on empty before they get more gas or get the third bill before they payit.
You know they're going to miss your birthday and your anniversary and Christmas and you'll get the cards later if you get anything and allthat.
And they'll always have anexcuse.
That'sright. Butthem.
That'sme. Now the next questionis,well, thenthis,this,this, thisgenetic.
Are we just humannature?
Are we born thisway?No.
What?No, we're notborn.
Oh,yes. Some people willsay,well, there's nothing I can do aboutit.
That's just who Iam. Youknow, I'mjust, I'malways,no,no, youknow, you learned to be a procrastinator fromwho?
You can unlearnit.Oh, fromthat's, but we'll get you to theirfirst.
Yeah. So you learn to be aprocrastinator.
Allright. So you can unlearnit.
That's veryoptimistic.
That means you're not condemned thisway.
Yes, you can teach old dogs newtricks.
You just use a different bone and it takes themlonger, but you can unlearnit.
If you're born thatway, that's just who youare,then, then let's call it aday.
Then it'sover. Andit's, it doesn't have to doit.
And that'sone,fortunately, too much of our culture is thisway.
Well, that's how theyare.
That's how peopleare.No,no, people canchange.
Let's be much moreoptimistic.
There's ourculture.Reinforces,procrastination.
We don't reward doing thingsearly.
We punish for being late in ourculture.
If I don't pay my bills ontime, I get afine.
I get an extra charge on my creditcard.
If you're like me and mywife, in our 39 years ofmarriage, we pay ahead of time all thetime.
I get thebill. I pay it because Idon't.
I just want to get rid ofit.
Allright. Allright. So at the end of theyear, did they ever come back andsay, thank you verymuch.
Here's a little gags togif.
This twopercent.No, our cultures don't reward us for doing things ahead oftime.
They punish us for beinglate.
What are the causes ofprocrastination?
Fears. I'm afraid offailure.
See, if I neverfinish, I can never bejudged.
Let me explain what I'm talkingabout.
Okay. If I take my time doingsome, if I don't meet the deadline and Idelay, then I can simplysay, youknow, I didn't have enoughtime.
I know this is not the bestthing.
This is as good as I can getit.
But if I had moretime, I would have donebetter.
So lack of effort is not a positiveimage, but it's a better image than I did init.
It's a piece ofgarbage.
Youknow, if you put something together and it'sgood.
So people would rather have other people think that they lackeffort.
Hence, Iprocrastinate.
Then lack ability because I can't changeability.
The next time I can tryharder.
And so for a person who really is in their ownway, they see themselvessabotaging.
What can somebody do in their own life after hearingthis?
What are the babysteps?
Startsmall. Don't think you just have to manage yourtime.
That's not going to work foryou.
It's likedieting. You'll start in thebeginning, but you'll give itup.
Startsmall. This would cognitive therapist would ask you todo.
First ofall, what you're doing is you're looking at the forest and you're missing that the forest is made up oftrees.
Don't miss the forest because you're focused on thetrees.
That's not the procrastinatorsproblem.
It's the other wayaround.
They see theforest. Oh mygod.
This is a hugetask. Holycow.
I can't get all of thisdone.
They forget that the forest is made up oftrees.
Solisten, orviewer. It's made up oftrees.
What if you cut down one tree at atime?
Oh, that's too much foryou.
Then let's give me threebranches.
You can't do threebranches.
I'll take a handful ofleaves.
Startsmall. Dosomething.
What if youfail? Don't you just love his passion andconviction?
I just wanted to take a highlighter and highlight a few things because he does move fast like aFerrari.
First ofall, you were not born aprocrastinator.
Don't you love knowingthat?
Your brain can unlearn the habit ofprocrastination.
And tome, this is avery, very empoweringmessage.
And I've seen this play out in my ownlife.
I used to be a hugeprocrastinator.
I had no idea what to do aboutit.
I thought I was just stuck being thatway.
And this is something you canchange.
And so I'm totally ofDr.
Ferrari onthis. It istrue.
You can train your brain to get things done ontime.
You can train yourself to chip away atit.
Second, I want to makesure,though, to really highlight this metaphor that you use so that it lands foryou.
Because he was talking about the forest and thetrees.
And just to make sure that it reallysticks, this is the way I think aboutit.
The forest is theoutcome.
It's the thing you want toachieve.
And when you think about theoutcome, it's easy to getoverwhelmed.
And that's what makes procrastination kickin.
You want to think about theaction.
That's the singulartree.
It'sthe, what do I need to wake up and dotoday?
And I'm going to give you a couple examples because focusing on what you need to do today helps your brain beprocrastination.
Here's how thisworks. So forexample, if you want a beachbody, just do arm exercisestoday.
Do not get overwhelmed with trying to lose 30 pounds and gettingcut.
And what's going to happen way down theline?
Because when you look far out at theforest, the research says it kills your motivation to keepgoing.
That's why you have to just wake up and focus on what's in front of youtoday.
That singulartree, that singular action and completely forget about where it's going in the biggerpicture.
If you want to get ahead ofwork, here's another example and earn thatpromotion.
Stop freaking out about thebigger.
What is this going tohave?
What's goingon? It gets you so overwhelmed that you don't doanything,right?
I want you instead focus on the one thing you can dotoday.
One thing you could dotoday, you could have a conversation today with your boss about the fact that you do want to grow with the organization and ask what do you need to do to make thathappen?
That's onetree. And that's one way to move forward instead of paralyzing yourself by looking at the biggerpicture.
If you want tomove, here's anotherexample.
You've always dreamt of moving somewhereelse.
Stop thinking about what it's going to be like a year fromnow.
Just take one actiontoday.
Research a place that you've always thought aboutliving.
And don't feel like you have to gothere.
Don't feel like you have to figure it all out at once because when you focus on thetree, the one action you're taking today and you forget about everything elsearound, it helps your mind calmdown.
And it keeps procrastination from slowing you down because the keyhere, what you're learning from the fast doctor Ferrari is do not allow yourself to get overwhelmed by the bigger picture because it's when you're overwhelmed and your wheels are spinning that procrastination kicksin.
Just focus on the simple action that you can taketoday.
And that is how you can use your brain to never ever letprocrastination.
Slow youdown. Prettycool,right?
Well, I got to take a quickbreak.
And when we comeback, we're going to talk about training your subconscious and making your self talk morepositive.
Imean, you can even changethat.
Howcool. And you're also going to learn an incredible little brain hack that is scientifically proven to make yourhappier.
Just stay withme.Hey, it's your friend MelRobbins.
And I am so glad you're stillhere.
This is soimportant.Today, you and I are learning simple things that we can do based on the research from some of the world's leading experts to take better care of yourbrain.
I am lovingthis. And we have already covered somuch.
You've learned how to improve yourmemory.
You've learned what foods you can eat in order to improve the overall health and functioning of yourbrain.
You've learned how to use your brain to beprocrastination.
You've also learned about the benefit of cutting back on alcohol and the immediate health impact that it canhave.
Nextup, selftalk. You know that little voice in the back of yourhead?
Imean, imagine if it werepossible, just like you can brush the gunk off yourteeth, that you could brush the negativity from yourbrain.
Imean, just imaginethat.
Well, our next expert says that is exactly what you cando.
Dr. Paul Conzi is a renowned psychiatrist that trained at Stanford andHarvard.
And the way he taught us about thebrain, it has stuck with me ever since I met him monthsago.
Dr. Conzi is an expert ontrauma, which is connected to the subconscious mind and your selftalk.
He's the author of the best sellingbook, trauma and the invisibleepidemic.
Infact, Lady Gaga creditsDr.
Conzi with single handedly changing herlife.
He is herpsychiatrist.
Now,Dr. Conzi made a huge impression on me when he was on the Mel Robbins podcast and spoke about how to train your brain to have better selftalk.
And I want you to listen to what he has to saybecause,yes, improving your memory is reallyimportant.
Eating the right brainfood, veryimportant.
But it's going to be a whole lot easier to start doing those things to take care of yourself and followingthrough.
If you feel like you're worthit.
And that's where your self talk comesin.
Your self talk is tied tomotivation.
It's tied to selfworth.
It's tied toeverything, which is why it's essential that you learn these simple daily habits that help you clean it up and make it more powerful andpositive.
Now, beforeDr. Conzi tells you how to dothat, I first want to start with him explaining exactly what the voice in the back of your headis.
And here's what hesaid.
Often a sort of running dialogue or set of opinions inside of us that are in the background to our experience of life in thepresent.
And this can make a huge difference to how we respond to life in thepresent, how we think about ourselves and how we think about the world aroundus.
So there's a lot more going on inside of us than what we're taking in at themoment.
Very often it paints with a broad brush or if it's not painting with a broadbrush, it'll come at the thing that is most distressing tous.
So the broad brush part could be justsaying,oh, I'm aloser,right?
Or even sometimes we see ourselves in the thirdperson, you're aloser.
You'll never makeit. If it'smore, if it's not so broad brushed andoften, it'll come at the thing that we mostwant.
You'll never have a better job or that your relationship will never bebetter.
You'll never findanyone.
You'll never reconcile with a certain familymember.
Whatever it maybe, you'll never be healthy or you'll never loseway.
You'll never be in bettershape.
Whatever it may be that this comes atus.
And if youimagine, Imean, imagine that someone shadowed a person all day and just whispered in theirhear, in their hear the worst possiblething.
Youknow, we would bedistraught.
Imean, it's someone to follow someone around and just tell them that allday.
But we can do that toourselves.
And that's not an exaggeration oflike, what would it be like to have someone following behind doing that allday?
You're just not good enough for no one's going to wantme.
No one's going to wantyou.
Youknow, we're talking to ourselves and it's painting with avery, very broad brush that is really kind of striking to thecore.
Right? Imean, it's hard to argue with something like that because it is it's sopervasive,right?
So instead of arguing withit, the idea is to recognize it and rejectit.
How do you dothat? Going through and exploring some of that when we can reflecton, get a handle on what is going on inside of me and it starts withcuriosity.
I think the starting place is always a curiosity aboutourselves.
And a lot of times just as a person doesn't want to go look at thetrauma.
Why do I want to go look at that thing that makes me nervous or that that that works very strongly against our curiosity aboutourselves.
And and if we are sort of free to be curious aboutourselves, it's not dangerous or threatening to be curious aboutourselves.
There's so much that we canlearn.
So just an example can be what does myself talklike?
What do I say tomyself?Right?
In quietmoments. What do I say to myself if I do somethingwrong?
What do I say to myself if I dropsomething?
What do I say to myself if I approach a new social situation or a newchallenge?
So now we start to put words tothings.
Yes. When we put it outside ofus, it'sdifferent, which is why if we're talking to someone that can make adifference, a trusted otherabout,hey, I was thinkingabout, youknow, like I'm saying this to myself over andover, I realize it's been going on to me foryears.
Can we can we say that to someone else or or can we writeit?
Youknow, writing itdown, journaling can make a big difference in thatway.
And the talking to another person can involve atherapist.
So I very often will want people to understand we can changethis.
Right? But it's going to takeus.
I'm not sure I mightsay, youknow, it's probably going to be in the four to six monthsrange.
We can really get our arms roundless and Iwant, youknow, and hope that things can start improving a couple of weeks down theroad.
But, youknow, it's like several month process like let the person know that because so often there's just a reflex thatsays,hey, somebody threw a medicine atyou,right?
And that medicine's supposed to make youbetter,right?
Let alone if it's like a couple therapy sessions and that's supposed to make a personbetter.
We need a rational framing for what's going on inside of us and to plotout, how do we actually get tochange?
You know one of the things that I love aboutDr.
Conti, is that don't you just trusthim?
I don't know if it's tone of his voice or just the way he explainsthings, but he's so honest andrealistic.
And if you try this strategy once and then you don't feel goodimmediately, you're going to giveup.
And so I think it's super important that you understandthat,yeah, you're going to feel better withinweeks.
It'll really stick withinmonths.
But this is something that you can do every single day that's super fast andsimple.
It's going to have a bigimpact.
And that's sort of like all the advice from every single doctor and medical expert on the show today that there is this hope that's underlying all of it thatyes, you can build a better brain and based on what you just learned fromDr.
Conti, that if you truly practice this every singleday, just like you brush your teeth every singleday.
Within a fewmonths, you can heal this pattern of negative self-talk and clean yourbrain, make it morepositive.
Here, infact, it reminds me of ourson,Oakley.
He's going to kill me for telling youthis, but in elementaryschool, he literally barely brushed histeeth.
Imean, we used to beghim.
Dude, you got to brush your teeth and his oldersisters, they would tease him about it because they werelike,dude, your teeth are like yellow anddisgusting.
And then all of asudden, it waslike, I don't know if it was middle school or what he just decided that it mattered to him to take care of histeeth.
And all it took was a couple months of dailybrushing.
And all of asudden, he's got thebrightest,cleanest, most beautiful choppers you've everseen.
Dr. Conti is here tosay, your brain works the sameway.
You can clean itup. You can make it brighter and morepositive.
And it just goes to show you that every single one of these experts has toldyou, your brain canchange.
And when you change the way you talk toyourself, you clean up thatself-talk.
You literally open a door to an entirely newworld.
And I so want that foryou.
Well,Dr. Conti was far from done when we had him on thepodcast.
And there was something else that I really wanted you tohear.
And it's allabout, youknow, why we have these patterns ofself-sabotage.
And I think you will find this metaphor thatDr.
Conti and I discuss so helpful as you make it your mission to stop your negative self-talktoo.
We can start feelingbetter, doingbetter, emboldening ourselves just by doingsmall, nice things for ourselves and for otherpeople.
And it may soundtrite, but it isnot,right?
To a goodhand,say, if you're in that line to the coffee shop and somebody dropssomething, youknow, to pick it up for them or to give them asmile,right?
Or do something nicer for ourselves because we often self-punish and just walk that distance in the rain instead of putting an umbrellaup.
Like we do a lot of these things ourselves where we could just in themoment, just be nicer to ourselves and we're considerate to ourselves and toothers.
And that starts empowering and emboldening us to dothat.
To see there's enough good in me that I can give somebody a smile and give somebody a helpinghand.
I can even be a little nicer tomyself.
And it may sound small ortrite, but I promise that it isnot.
And it's often that that gets the ball rolling towards something maybe moredifficult, like looking at something that I know is on my mind alot, but I've been scared to lookat.
I think we can start in simpleway, simple goodness to self andothers.
Yes. That example of putting an umbrella up was so poignant because I think of how many times I've had an umbrella and I've just beenlike,no, it'sokay.
I carry theumbrella, I walk a coupleblocks, I pop mycollar, I start a hunch down and I take thedrops.
And that moment where you stop and put up theumbrella, it isimportant.
And I keep thinking about this visual of the raindrops being like the negative beatdown.
And the act of popping up the umbrella as a way to just have yourself not have to hearit.
I really do love thatbecause, youknow, sometimes we'llsay, I know how withit, youknow,like, but like the idea I get the umbrellaup, it the hell withit.
No,no, that's actually to hell withme.
So we want to stop andthink,like, what am I really thinking to hell withme?
I'm not worth getting the umbrellaout,right?
And it's awarenesslike, I know I'm going to stop and I'm going to dothat.
I'm not going to say the hell with it to hell withme.
I'm going to make someprotection, makesome, you make a little bit more pleasantness or anything positive formyself.
And I love thatway. Then the umbrella is shielding usfrom, youknow, the negativity because we've had the wherewithal inside of ourselves to do somethingsmall, but meaningful forourselves.
Yeah, I think that's that's a powerful way to move that exampleforward.
I likethat. I just lovethat.
I want you to keep that image of an umbrella in yourmind.
When you're training your brain to cheer you on rather than beating youdown, Imean, it's sopowerful.
And it's going to help you staycurious, likeDr.
Contisuggested, as you examine thosethoughts, so you can let themgo.
And when you change yourselftalk, you will be a happierperson.
And on thattopic, our next expert says that one of the most important things your brain can do for you is help you behappier.
Imean, that is a super power that is right in your brain that you are about to learntoday.
And that's why I'm so excited about this nextexpert.
Sean Acre is afriend. He's a New York Times best-selling author of the Happiness Advantage and BigPotential.
His Happiness Advantage training is one of the largest most successful positive psychology training programs in theworld.
And he's here today to give you the most beautiful metaphor about happiness and to let you know that there's always more happiness available toyou.
Infact, way more than youthink.
Here's Sean Acre giving you a major reframe on how to think abouthappiness.
Youknow, we get so focusedupon, youknow, whether or not a glass is half full or halfempty,right?
And then we decide our happiness based uponthat,right?
Optimism orpessimism.
But I've always had thisidea,like, of this picture in my headof, we're so focused on this glass being half full or halfempty, but ignoring that there's a picture of water sitting right next to it that we could fill it upwith.
When we do these habits and when we care for and let other peoplein, we're filling up thatglass.
And that glass does not look like it did the daybefore.
That'sgreat.Sean, why don't you walk through the four habits that everybody should try for 21days?
We get people to write down each day for twominutes, three new things that they're grateful for that have occurred over the past 24hours.
And we don't let them repeat for 21 days in arow.
So there's not what you're gratefulfor.
The matter is just thescanning.
We also got people to go on a 15 minute brisk walk four to five times aweek, which we found is the equivalent of taking an antigen present for the first six months for the next two years as a30% lower relapse rate back to that depressedstate.
We find that if you take your hands off your keyboard for two minutes today and just watch your breath go in andout, you're training your brain to do one thing at atime.
And 21 dayslater, not only your accuracy rates improving by10%, but levels of happinessrise, stress levelsdrop, and the cortisol levels of the people that are around youchange.
So your stress levels are dropping aswell.
So you're literally changing other people's biochemical patterns based upon yourhabits.
Andfinally, we've got people to write a two minute positive email each day praising or thanking one newperson, a different person each day for 21 days in arow.
So just thanking them for something or praising them for something aweek, tire or strongtie.
But 21 dayslater, we find that it dramatically improves the greatest predictor of your long from levels ofhappiness, which is your social connectionscore.
Boom. That's not just the happiness advantagepeople.
Those are the happinessactions.
And I'm tellingyou, based on theresearch, you got to doit.
I always saySean, this is not just a listeningpodcast.
So do those things for 21days.
And I think you will be shocked at how the needlemoves.
Can you just bottom line what somebody should do right now to tap into this concept of happiness andjoy?
Accept where you are rightnow, but realize that this is not the end of thestory.
So I believe the change is radically possible from our genes and environment when we change our mindset and change ourbehavior, and we link in with other people aswell.
I believe that incredible change is possibletoo.
And what you're learning today is your brain is just waiting for you to give it a nudge in the rightdirection.
It wants you to take care of it and feed at the right foods and help it learn newskills.
That's what it's madefor.
And after our conversationtoday, you now have the tools to getstarted.
I promised you that absolutely everything that you learned today would help you build abetter,sharper, stronger and happierbrain.
I truly hope that everything that you learn from these six extraordinary experts not only empoweredyou, but they've motivated you to put it to use in your own life because I see a bigger possibility foryou.
And the second you start taking better care of yourbrain, you'll see ittoo.
In case no one else tells youtoday, I wanted to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your power to create a betterlife.
And what you've learned today is that a better life begins with taking better care of yourbrain.
And after everything that you'velearned, you now know exactly what to do to dothat.
Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a fewdays.
Okay, did the light justchange?
No, the clouds passed and the room tonechanged.
So I don't know if there is anything that it doesn't matter tome.
SUV,VE, sayit, useit, ask a question using theirname,visual,shit.
Welcomeback. It's your friend Mel Robbins and you and I are talking about the sexiest organ in yourbrain.
And I believe in the power that you have to change yourlife, yourbrain.
Hold on asecond. What's happeninghere?
Okay.Okay,sorry. I'm not happy aboutthat.
There's something in mythroat.
Okay.Oh, and one morething.
Andno, this is not ablooper.
This is the legallanguage.
You know what the lawyer's right and what I need to read toyou.
This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainmentpurposes.
I'm just yourfriend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of aphysician, professionalcoach, psychotherapist or other qualifiedprofessional.
Gotit?Good. I'll see you in the nextepisode.
