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Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Podcast and Chill.
I'm Gwen, always trying to bring you something helpful and easy to understand.
And I'm Leo, still trying to convince Gwen I'm her favorite co-host.
Keep working on it. How's everyone doing out there?
If you ask me, I would say I had this weird moment yesterday.
Oh, yeah? What happened? I was scrolling through social media, you know, just mindlessly looking at everyone's highlight reels.
Oh, that doesn't sound good. Right? And I started feeling really bad about myself, like everyone seemed to have their life together except me.
That's such a common feeling. What did you do?
Well, instead of getting worried like I usually do, I asked myself a different question.
What question? What if I focused on becoming the best version of myself, instead of comparing myself to others?
Ooh, I love that shift in thinking. It got me thinking, why don't we talk about how we can actually become the best version of ourselves?
That's such an important question. And here's what I've learned.
You don't have to start with huge, life-changing moves.
Really? Really. All big changes begin with small steps.
I like the sound of that. And before we jump in, don't forget to stay until the end for our vocabulary section.
We'll explain useful words and phrases from today's talk.
In case you want to practice the words, check out the PDF in the description box.
It has fun exercises to help you remember better.
Okay, now let's get started. So, Gwen, what do people imagine when they think about becoming their best self?
What do you think? Hmm, I would say they probably imagine some huge transformation, like suddenly waking up at 5am or running marathons.
Or eating only kale. To be honest, that sounds tiring and completely unrealistic for someone like me.
That's because it is unrealistic. The truth is, becoming your best self doesn't require huge effort right away.
What do you mean? Everything starts with small steps.
And one of the most important small steps is simply taking care of yourself.
Like self-care? But isn't that just an excuse to be lazy and buy expensive stuff?
Many people get that wrong, Leo. Real self-care doesn't have to cost money at all.
Really? Because Instagram makes it look pretty expensive, with all those spa days and shopping hauls.
True self-care can be as simple as putting on a face mask you already have at home or listening to music that makes you feel good.
Oh, like when I take a hot shower after a stressful day.
Perfect example or doing some gentle stretching Taking a walk around the block even just sitting quietly for five minutes That actually sounds easy to do I know right, but wait isn't focusing on yourself kind of Selfish, I'm so glad you asked that because this is where people get confused How so think about it this way?
When you're on an airplane, what do they tell you about the oxygen masks?
Put your own mask on first before helping others.
Correct. And what's the lesson here? Taking care of myself actually helps me take better care of other people.
Yes. When you're rested, when you feel good about yourself, when your basic needs are met, you have so much more to give.
That makes total sense. Like, when I'm stressed and tired, I'm probably not the most patient person to be around.
So true. But when you've taken time to recharge, even in small ways, you show up as a better friend, family member, or co-worker.
So being gentle and kind to myself is actually the beginning for everything else?
That's right. Learning to love yourself isn't selfish.
It's an important step that lets you grow and help others grow too.
I never thought about it that way. Maybe I should stop feeling guilty about taking time for myself.
Absolutely. However, you know, along with taking care of yourself, you have to get past your fears and doubts to really get ahead.
Oh, those used to be my biggest enemies.
Used to be? What changed? This might surprise you, but I used to think I was bad at talking to people.
You? My favorite podcast co-host? Oh, now you're admitting I'm your favorite.
Anyway, back in high school, my teacher told me I had poor communication skills.
And you just bought into that? Yeah. I thought some people are just born good at talking, and I wasn't one of them.
I didn't think it really mattered. So, what changed your mind?
When I got to college, I saw how important communication really was for making friends, getting jobs, even just for existing in the world.
Then what did you do about it? I started practicing, even though I was scared.
I'd force myself to ask questions in class, join group discussions, things like that.
That must have been scary. Absolutely scary.
But I slowly learned that communication isn't some magical talent.
You're born with. It's something you learn and get better at.
And look at you now, sitting here, yapping about everything. right i'm really glad i pushed through the fear and self-doubt so what advice would you give to someone who feels the same way hmm first change how you talk to yourself like what like instead of i'm terrible at this try i'm learning and that's okay that's such a simple but powerful change Right?
Second, remind yourself that things take time.
Just take baby steps. Don't rush. But what if someone still doesn't believe they can do it?
Changing your mindset isn't easy. Then fake it until you make it.
Like pretend? Yep, or some would say gaslight yourself.
Just act like you're someone who can do the thing you're scared of.
Oh, like Rihanna once said in an interview.
Pretend. Fake it? Yeah. Until we make it?
I mean, why not? It's either that or cry myself to sleep.
Oh, Riri was so on point in that interview.
I actually used this mind hack when I was learning French.
What did you do? Pretend you were fluent?
No, I pretended I was someone who was good at learning French.
I told myself, this grammar is so easy. That's so smart.
Dear our friends, if you're struggling with English, why not pretend English is easy?
And what else are you afraid of? Did you do anything to deal with it?
Leave a comment below and share your story.
So we've talked about self-care and facing our fears.
But what if the problem isn't just inside our head?
What do you mean? Like, what if you're stuck in an environment that just doesn't support your growth?
Oh, that's a big one. Where we live and who we're around really matter.
Right? Like, imagine trying to study in a house where people are constantly arguing or having friends who always put you down.
Those are what I call toxic environments.
So what counts as toxic? Because sometimes it's hard to tell.
When something makes you bad and tired instead of good and happy, it's toxic.
Like people who consistently make you feel bad about yourself, discourage your goals, or create unnecessary drama.
Yep. Or even friends who always complain but never want solutions.
I used to have a friend like that. Every time I mentioned wanting to improve my French, they'd say, Why bother?
You'll never sound like a native anyway.
I'm glad they're no longer your friend. So am I. So, what do you think we should do when we're in a toxic place or around toxic people?
Change it, right? That sounds easier said than done, though.
True, it's not always easy, but it is possible.
Let's start with your space. Okay, how?
If studying at home makes you sleepy or distracted, try a library, a quiet coffee shop, or even a co-working space.
New spaces help you focus better because there are fewer distractions and a different vibe.
What about toxic people? You can't just change your family or co-workers.
That's true. But you can choose how much time and energy you give them.
If you can't cut them off, you can spend less time with them.
Talk only when needed. What about friends?
Friends are a choice, Leo. You can choose to spend more time with people.
Who support your goals and less time with those who don't?
It feels a little mean, like I'm leaving people behind.
Think of it this way. When you're around positive people, you feel better too.
So I'm not being a bad person? Not at all.
You're just taking care of your mental health.
And that's really important. Hmm. So maybe becoming a better version of ourselves isn't that hard.
It's possible if you have the right tools and enough of them.
Enough? Aren't the three tips we shared already enough?
There's one more. Do you know what sometimes happens when people set big goals too fast?
Er, they fail? Yep. Sometimes people really want to change, so they make big goals and tight schedules.
But it's too much, and they feel overwhelmed.
Then they give up. Let me guess. The last tool is about how to set goals the right way.
You're right. But I want to focus on one part, time management.
Ugh, I'm so bad at that. I'm the guy who sets five alarms and still shows up late.
Don't worry, you're not the only one, but I've got a trick for that.
Tell me, what should I do differently? First, split your big priorities from small tasks.
How do I figure out what's a priority? Ask yourself, if I can only do one thing this month, what would help my life the most?
Maybe going to bed on time. All those late nights are really starting to take their toll on me.
That's a good one. For our listeners, maybe their top goal is improving English since it can help with their job or studies.
OK, I know my top goal. Now what? Write it down in big letters and put it somewhere you'll see every day.
Like on my bathroom mirror? Or on your fridge, somewhere you look every day.
That way, you'll always remember it. What about smaller goals?
For those, use your phone. Set alarms with reminders at a specific time.
Like what? For example, if you want to improve your English speaking skill, you can set an alarm that says practice speaking for 10 minutes.
And why does this approach work well? It doesn't require much willpower, so everyone can do it more easily.
That really makes sense. I always thought I needed more self-discipline.
Discipline does help, but a smart system makes everything easier.
You know what, Gwen? All this advice sounds great, but some people listening might feel like they're way behind everyone else.
The harsh truth is that getting better is a long journey, but you're absolutely not walking it alone.
What do you mean? I mean everyone is figuring this stuff out as they go.
Nobody has it all together, despite what social media shows us.
Even us? Especially us. We're sharing what we've learned, but we're still learning too.
So if someone listening today only managed to do one small thing, like drink more water or send one text they've been avoiding, that still counts.
Leo, that absolutely counts. Maybe today you only did one small thing, but you're still moving forward.
I love that. And if someone feels lost or confused about where to start?
Then remember that we're here every week, reminding you that you're not going through this alone.
Oh, and speaking of reminding, guys, don't forget to stand up, stretch a bit, and grab a glass of water.
For sure. Or just take a quick break. Your body and mind will feel better.
And after that, we'll go over some useful words we talked about today.
Guys, it's time to go over some key vocabulary.
First, show up. It means to arrive or appear somewhere, especially when expected.
For example, he didn't show up to the meeting yesterday.
Repeat after me, show up. Second, get ahead.
It means to make progress, especially in your career or life.
For example, she worked overtime to get ahead at her job.
Repeat after me, get ahead. Third, buy into something or someone.
It means to believe in an idea or trust a person.
For example, at first I was skeptical, but eventually I bought into her vision.
Repeat after me, buy into something. Fourth, put someone down.
It means to insult or belittle someone. For example, you shouldn't put others down just to feel better about yourself.
Repeat after me, put someone down. Fifth, cut someone off.
It can mean to interrupt someone while they're talking or to stop communicating with them completely.
For example, she got cut off in the middle of her sentence or he cut off all contact with his old friends.
Repeat after me. Cut someone off. Sixth, figure out.
It means to understand or solve something.
For example, it took me a while, but I finally figured out how the software works.
Repeat after me, figure out. And finally, take its toll on someone.
It means to have a negative effect over time.
For example, all the stress from work really took its toll on her health.
Repeat after me, take its toll on someone.
Before we call it a day, let's quickly recap what we talked about because these four tips can really help you live a better life.
We talked about self-care, facing your fears, changing your environment, and setting goals smartly.
Four simple but powerful ways to become your best self.
And it all comes down to one big idea. Loving yourself is the first step to breaking down the walls you think you can't get past.
Guys, if you ever wonder whether you're behind, the answer is no.
You're not behind in life. You're just on your way.
Think about it. What if you're already living a life you once wished for?
You've probably come a lot further than you realize.
Now, we want to hear from you. What's one thing that made you feel pressured today?
Share it in the comments section below. We'll read them and maybe we can give some advice.
And remember, start with the smallest thing.
That's how you learn to be grateful every single day.
Thanks for hanging out with us today, everyone.
See you next time on Podcast and Chill. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.
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