This is the Business English Podcast Episode 74, How to Know When to Ask Your Boss a Question in American Business Culture.
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Hey Michelle, what's going on? Hey, Lindsay.
Not too much. How's it going on your end?
I'm excited to be here on the Business English podcast.
I know. Business English. Guys, we have other podcasts within the All Ears English network.
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We talk about interesting things here, Michelle, right?
What are we talking about today? Oh, today we are talking about something from really the... We're going to talk about from the manager and the employee side of things a little bit today.
But, Lindsay, I mean, you have been a manager, an entrepreneur, a leader for so long.
Yes. What about when you had managers? Were you lucky to have good managers, good bosses in your career?
Yeah, I've had some pretty good managers, especially people I could learn from.
This is kind of an unconventional example, but when I was teaching tennis one summer, I had a really cool... My boss was the head pro, and I was the assistant pro.
And I learned a lot from him. I learned how to string a racket, and I learned... how to manage courts and manage tournaments and things like that.
So yeah, I've had a few good ones. What about you, Michelle?
Well, I have a great one. Thank you. Yes, you're welcome.
And I've had some really good ones, actually.
So yeah, no, I mean, I would say that I've been pretty lucky overall.
Overall, I won't say for every single thing, but overall.
So, yeah, but we're going to talk more about this today from an article that I found that I think is really important to discuss and, you know, that our listeners can hear about and learn from.
So, but before that, guys, we want to, we are always, you know, trying to direct you to get other ways to help if you haven't listened to these episodes.
Business English episode 41 is Are You Committing One of These Four American Workplace Taboos?
Ooh, brings up curiosity, right? I wonder what those four workplace taboos are.
You guys have to listen to the episode to find out.
Good stuff. That's right. That's right. Okay.
So, and just, you know, before we get into it, make sure you hit follow on this podcast.
Exactly. It makes me think a lot when I think about managers.
I think about the difference, first of all, between a manager and a leader.
What is it in your mind, Michelle? Ooh, okay.
Well... That's a good question. I think a leader doesn't have to be a manager.
Exactly. I think that's true. Yeah. Yeah.
I think you can be an employee and not in.
I don't think you have to be. Yeah. Like I think you could still be a leader as far as an employee goes.
But I think that a manager is a manager is like the boss.
But a manager isn't necessarily like a leader, like a manager might just kind of manage things but not necessarily like lead to growth and care about the growth of the people that are working for them what do you think it's just it's more of a job title manager and a leader can be more loose and it's interesting i totally agree employees can be leaders and also often i think in small businesses you know owners for example want to be leaders not managers they want to empower their team to think for themselves and not kind of we have a term micromanager Right.
I think we might get into that a little bit today, too.
But it's a dirty word. People don't want to be micromanagers.
And so if you move into being a leader of your company, not a manager, you're not micromanaging as much anymore.
Right. Right. Right. Right. OK. Very interesting.
I'm excited to get into this. So I think maybe, you know, Lindsay, was it was it how was this transition for you to becoming like a manager, a leader, you know?
Yeah. Yeah, I think what I've been running on for the last 10 years is just my passion for what we're doing here.
My passion for our podcast, the message behind our podcast of connection, not perfection.
So to be a good manager or leader or both, I think you really need to believe in what your company is doing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, I think it can be, you know, it must be a learning process, though, like, you know, that.
Yeah. Hugely. Yeah. I've had to attend seminars, join groups, you know, coaching things.
I just joined a brand new one last week, an accelerator program. to learn how to, yeah, make our company more efficient, how to empower our team.
So it's a constant learning process. I'm always going back to school in that sense.
Yeah. Well, that's good. That's good. So guys, we're going to talk today about an article, but use it to dive into our opinions and also teach some expressions.
So this article is from HuffPosts.com and it's what first time managers should never say.
Once you break your team's trust as a boss, it's hard to earn it back.
And this is by Monica Torres. This is from November 29th, 2022.
And we're going to talk about one today.
We can always do follow-ups, but we're really going to focus in because I thought that this was really something that we could get deep into.
So what is it, Lindsay? This is a quote from the article.
This is the first thing. Oh, okay. This is good.
So here's the thing that for our listeners, guys, you want to avoid saying if you are a manager and you as an employee, you don't want to hear from your manager.
It is message me anytime something comes up.
It feels counterintuitive that this is bad.
Why is this bad? Well, I mean, so basically the idea is it sounds so nice to say, oh, like if you need anything, I'm here.
Right. But it says a quote from the article is it says that it's setting yourself up to be constantly interrupted, which will impact your ability to do your work.
So, Lindsay, what else? Like, can you kind of summarize some of the other things?
Well, this is something that's been in my mind a lot lately.
Right. So the problem here is you're putting yourself as the bottleneck in your company.
Right. So that means anytime someone has a question, they're going to go to you.
They're not going to go to themselves and go deeper, try to find the answer or go to a coworker.
That means the company can never function without you.
Right. which is not good. You want your company to live on forever, right?
And so that's the other part. So people are losing their confidence in themselves or not getting a chance to grow themselves.
And of course, you're ruining your workday because you're going to be constantly interrupted.
So you can't do that deep work that moves your company forward.
That's what I think. Right. Okay, very interesting.
Yeah, because, I mean, Lindsay, do you ever, I mean, this reminds me of what you were saying about micromanaging.
Yes. Is it, like, would you say it's, like, your inclination that you, like, is it hard for you to, like, back, you know, to step back?
Do you tend to, is it your natural sense that you would like to manage things more daily?
Like, what is it like? Well, it's funny for me.
I go either way. So I either will kind of delegate a task and I'll completely forget that I even delegated it.
I won't check in, just be gone. Or I will stay right in the middle of a task and I'll make sure I'm that bottleneck right in the middle of the process.
I haven't been able to find a way to be high level and stay high level, but still be kind of the one designing the work.
So this is my task for 2023. This is what I'm really working on this year, Michelle.
Okay. Interesting. Very interesting. So, I mean, the article also says, I'm going to quote it, just a better way is for managers to be upfront about their boundaries of when it's best to communicate and how to do it based on the urgency of a question.
So that's interesting. So that's somebody's quote in the article.
Yeah. Right. So maybe it's the it's the duty of the manager, the good manager or the leader to set up like a rubric or a system where the employee, the staff member can rate their question.
How urgent is it? And have a decision tree.
You know, what do I do if it's like an A level question or a B level question?
Who do I go to? Right. Interesting. Interesting.
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Exclusions apply, see details online. All right, so let's go deeper into this.
How can this help our listeners today? This is so important.
Well, I mean, it's also like, let's just talk about it.
So that's from the manager's perspective.
I mean, what about from the employee's perspective, right?
So, like, you know, when is it, like, now that you guys are hearing this and we're talking about it, it's something good to think about.
Like, if you're at a job, when should you be asking your boss questions?
When should you, like, just try and figure something out yourself?
You know, because I've been in that position where it's hard to tell, right?
You don't want to make a mistake. So you want to ask, but it's like, is it better?
Okay. So is it better to do something and then apologize if it's wrong?
Right. Or is it, you know, and then just say you're sorry if it was wrong.
But, but is it better like for you to like show that you made this decision and then, okay.
So like, then it turned out to be the wrong thing.
Or is it better to ask and avoid it in the first place?
Yeah, it's really hard, isn't it, Michelle?
This is a really good question. I feel like it depends on how high risk that decision is, right?
So if you're messing around with technology and you're, let's say you're like an entry-level coder or something on our WordPress website and you could break our website, right?
Uh-huh. If you do something wrong, then maybe it's time to maybe not necessarily go to your manager, go to a coworker or someone who could help.
But then I think the key is, as an employee, how can you maybe make a low stakes mistake, but then immediately show what you've learned and make that change and never make it again and improve yourself based on that mistake, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. Would you rather? I mean, yes.
OK, let's say it's like a low stakes thing.
Would you rather see somebody, you know, make the mistake but have had not asked you?
Yeah. Have a kind of. Yeah. I think I'm trying to move in that direction because I think that's how you build a company that's strong and sufficient.
And each person is empowered and each person is growing as a professional. right it's not just the leader that's growing or the company that's growing it's each person is growing their skills and learning from everything yeah i actually do think that's probably better it's sort of counterintuitive what about when you were in radio oh um when i was when i was working in radio good question um so it was kind of an interesting situation i guess because i had kind of i had two supervisors and one was a little bit above the other one i think uh-huh But he was kind of the main boss.
And I would often like I was pretty close with the one that was a little bit below the upper one.
So I could easily like ask him questions.
I would do a lot of asking questions of like my other colleagues like before because they had been there for a long time.
So maybe they knew the answer. And so, yeah, that's yeah. um yeah but i would be i was like afraid of making mistakes there were sometimes like especially um you know i would have to like post different things and i was afraid that i would mess it up or something like that yeah um so yeah i did um but i would try to avoid going too much to the boss and more so like rely on my colleagues or somebody the next step above me Yeah, I think that's a good way to go.
And it's also kind of the responsibility of the company to have a good training program, a good onboarding program.
So they kind of hopefully answer these questions in the onboarding, a lot of questions in onboarding, but things are always going to come up.
Right, right. So I mean, let's just I mean, let's see.
Let's talk a little bit about like, before considering asking your boss something, you know, what are some things you should think about?
I mean, I think number one is thinking how often have I been going to my boss?
Like, If it's been like a daily, you know, constant, constant, constant, think, am I getting like a reputation here?
And I don't know if I've done this, Lindsay, but like I know sometimes I can.
But like, you know, so consider that as well.
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, I think, you know, in the beginning, right, if it's the first three months, first six months, first year, like maybe you're going to do it more, but gradually you're going to show that you're becoming a confident decision maker.
You understand where the company is going.
So you have the skills to make the decision on your own.
You know what I mean? So, you know, or have you shown that you're learning?
So if you are making a mistake, hopefully a low stakes mistake, have you kind of talked about that in reviews and what's come out of it?
How you become so much better? I feel like we learn so much from big mistakes.
Yeah, we do. Yeah. Oh, it is true. It is true.
And then always think like, is there anyone I can ask first?
So this goes back to what I was saying. Like, is there someone not quite the boss?
You know, maybe there's another colleague that might know the answer to the question so that you can save the questions that are, you know, really important for your boss.
And, you know, then you feel like, OK, you've cut back a little bit.
Exactly. Or ask yourself, can I try to figure this out on my own a little bit more before asking, am I getting close?
Right. Can I be confident in my ability to try to find the answer?
And how open is my boss to actually talking or answering questions?
You know, maybe they the doors close, like, you know, maybe that's not the time to go in.
Maybe they're on an important call. Right.
Right. And it's like, well, you don't want to sit there just like not doing anything until you get this question answered.
Of course, again, like we said, it depends on, you know, the risk involved.
Yeah. But if you can try and figure it out so that you can keep moving forward, that would be great.
For sure. So for our listeners, let's give them a little bit of language here for going to the boss or to the manager.
Right. If you're going to if you're going to do it, if you're going to do it.
All right. So you could say, hi, do you have a second?
I have a question. Right. Or in an email, you could say, I checked with X about this, but I'm sorry, I just got an idea that I stopped teaching the phrase.
I got excited. Let me say the whole phrase and then we'll talk about it.
So I checked with X about this, but I'm still a little unclear.
That makes me think of what would be really important, guys, if you're going to go to the boss, ask a question, tell the boss or the manager what you did, everything you've done so far.
And hopefully it's an extensive list. All the things I've researched this.
I've talked to this person. I figured out this, but I'm still stuck here.
Right. Right. Because that also that also that's yeah, that's a time saver because then it saves your boss from saying, oh, well, have you done this?
Have you done this? Did you write here? You know, this way they know like what's happening already so that they can just get to, you know, getting to the most important piece.
Exactly. And if you're looking for a solution, also come with ideas.
Come with like three potential solutions and then say, which one do you think I should go for if you have to go to the boss?
Don't leave. Don't make the boss come up with the solution.
You come up with the solution first and you give them options.
Maybe. Right. Right. Right. Exactly. Or what's the last thing you could say? if you have a minute, I have one quick question.
It's not urgent. All right. Okay. So you're letting them know kind of, but then if you say that, they might say, well, why are you asking me?
This is kind of larger companies, right?
This is for a larger, smaller company. You know, people are going to be more flexible, maybe more in touch with each other.
But for a large company, if you say it's not urgent, then that might be insulting, I think, to that person could be like, well, why is it worth my time if it's not urgent?
Interesting. Why can't she go somewhere else?
Yeah. All right. So be careful with that one.
Good point, Lindsay. Yeah. Do we have a role play here, Michelle?
Just a quick one. Just a quick one. So I have a question for you.
Here we go. Hi, Lindsay. Do you have a second?
I have a question. Sure thing. Yeah. And you might hear this from a casual workplace, right?
That expression, sure thing. Super common, Michelle.
Good bonus. What do you think? Yes, I love it.
Sure thing. So, oh, my gosh. So we have today talked about a lot.
I mean, we talked about this article and we talked about like managing style, really, guys.
So if you are, you know, in this position where you're the manager, think about how available do you want to make yourself?
How do you want to empower your team? Um, and then, yeah.
And then as well as the, on, on the employee side, how do you want to make sure that you don't, you know, bug your manager too, too much.
And you also empower yourself and start gaining confidence by maybe even sometimes making a mistake.
Of course, you don't want to break a whole website.
Lindsay is like Lindsay mentioned. So if it's really, you know, but for, for, for things, you know, really evaluate in your head, like, is there something that I can actually just figure out on my own?
Right. Have you done everything on your own first?
Today we talked about the term micromanager, which, by the way, I think is really common out in the business world in American English.
People throw this term around all the time.
So that's a really good one to learn and to use, guys.
And I was just laughing because I flipped over to the actual article.
I'm pretty sure I do all these things. I make all these mistakes.
Oh, really? Yeah. all the things you shouldn't do as a manager so guys go over there and check it out you know we'll do it we'll put a link um well how can we get how can we actually get to this article well you already said the title what first-time managers should never say by monica torres so google that one guys um and think about how you know how are you functioning out in the world are you showing your boss that you're growing right that's the key yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay great wow Well, this was fun, Lindsay.
I'm glad we talked about this. And guys, so this is useful if you're a manager or if you're on the other side as well.
So we hope you had a lot to take away from this episode.
All right. Good stuff, Michelle. I'll talk to you soon.
Have a good one. All right. Bye. Bye. Thank you for listening to Business English, a podcast just for you, the high achieving global professional.
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